July 3, 2024 • 15 mins
Unlock the secrets to a balanced and fulfilling life with Lashanna Alfred, on the Self-Care Society podcast. Lashanna dives deep into practical strategies for nurturing your mind, body, and spirit, emphasizing that self-care is not just a luxury but a necessity. Imagine transforming your well-being simply by adding more water to your daily routine or incorporating a walk around your neighborhood—Lashanna shares how these small, yet impactful actions can enhance your physical health. We also explore the significance of setting healthy emotional boundaries, the power of journaling, and the benefits of therapy.
Join us as we discuss the power of compartmentalizing different aspects of our lives to maintain emotional balance and mental clarity, even amidst our busiest days. Lashana brings invaluable insights into emotional and mental self-care, touching on activities from mindfulness and meditation to learning new skills and pursuing hobbies. This episode is a treasure trove of advice for anyone looking to improve their internal health and achieve external goals while building a supportive self-care community. Get ready to be inspired by real-life stories of transformation and learn how you too can embark on a rewarding self-care journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
And how we're going to do this?
(00:22):
By first showing you thefiltered, pretty version of
success, and then the realstruggles, real work and raw
grit it took to get there, howthey took care of themselves and
also achieved their goals whiledoing it Together.
We will work with you toimprove and maintain your
internal health and growth,while helping you achieve your
(00:42):
external goals and your nextprofessional achievement in life
, and we're excited to show youhow to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have
while taking good care ofyourself.
So let's get started.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Welcome everyone to the self-care podcast.
I am Lashana Alfred, and todaythis topic is nurturing your
mind, body and your spirit.
First, I just want to do arecap just to remind you
self-care is not selfish.
Self-care is when we make adecision to care for self and
(01:25):
when we're caring for others.
It shouldn't put us on the backburner or cause us to neglect
taking care of ourselves.
So today, when we're going onthis topic of nurturing our mind
, our body and our soul, or ourspirit, I really want you to
really understand the differentcategories and what we need to
(01:47):
do in those different categoriesas we continue on our self-care
journey.
And so I talked with a group ofladies who have been on this
self-care journey and to hearthe feedback, the testimonies of
the impact this self-careprogram has had on them has
(02:08):
really been inspiring for me.
To just listen to the communityand the camaraderie that has
taken place in this self-carecommunity has been awesome.
And so, as we continue, I justwant to encourage you just to
remember what we have sharedthroughout this time, remember
(02:29):
the relationships that has beenbuilt.
And so, when we're looking atjust practical self-care
strategies from a physicalself-care standpoint, we're
talking about exercise,nutrition, sleep and hygiene.
And so when we're talking aboutexercise, just wait a minute.
It doesn't mean you need to goout and purchase a gym
(02:53):
membership.
Do you realize that you can getexercise by walking around your
neighborhood, by going up anddown the steps in your home, by
going up and down the steps inyour home?
I just want to kind of jog yourmind to really begin to think
and reflect and focus on what doyou need to do for yourself in
(03:14):
the area of physical self-care.
We're talking about exercise,nutrition, sleep and hygiene.
Do you realize that all you mayneed to do is add more water to
your daily routine?
Just think about that.
By adding an extra glass, acouple glasses of water to your
(03:36):
routine, that literally can beassisting in your overall
physical well-being.
The next is emotional self-care.
Journaling, therapy, settinghealthy boundaries and emotional
check-ins are all underneaththe category of emotional
(03:57):
self-care.
And so when we're talking aboutjournaling and therapy, those
are things we may need in orderto learn how to set healthy
boundaries.
Oftentimes we set boundariesonce we're mad at someone right,
but setting healthy boundariesdoesn't require us to be angry.
Setting healthy boundaries justrequires us to reflect on where
(04:20):
we've been, where we desire togo and where we're currently at
in our lives and being able torecognize what's needed and
what's not needed.
Maybe you need to set somehealthy boundaries around mental
well-being.
So if every time you talk tosomeone and y'all get on topics
that messes with your mental,then guess what?
(04:41):
Those topics I will notcommunicate with that particular
individual.
But that will require takingtime to sit back and
self-reflect.
Mental self-care, meditation,mindfulness, hobbies and
learning new skills all of thoseare under mental self-care.
(05:04):
And so, again, our lives are socomplex, and so we have to
learn how to compartmentalize.
You may be doing very well inbusiness, you may be doing very
well in your finances, but youremotions are all out of whack.
So what does that say?
Okay, maybe, if I'm doing 90%in my career, which is going
(05:26):
well, and only 10% on myemotions, then I need to balance
that out.
How do I give my emotions thatsame amount of time?
So now I'm not prospering inbusiness, but my relationships
are jacked up because I'memotionally unstable or mentally
immature, and so look,understand that.
(05:49):
So physical self-care,emotional self-care, mental
self-care.
And then the fourth one issocial self-care building
healthy relationships,socializing and community
involvement.
That's one of the testimoniesthat I heard from the ladies is
the smaller groups help buildrelationships.
(06:12):
It allows them to open up andbe more transparent and
vulnerable.
I want you, or I encourage you,to look over your life and see
what's actually hindering youfrom participating in community
events, social engagement.
Is it because you have anxietyrelated to being outside in
(06:36):
large crowds?
Can you find a smaller groupJust looking at your life and
really evaluating and seeingwhat can be blocking you from
truly living the life that youdesire to live?
The fifth one is spiritualself-care Meditation, again,
(06:57):
prayer, nature walks andexploring personal beliefs.
And so when we're talking aboutthis spiritual journey,
everyone may not have thetraditional belief in God, right
but when we're looking at thespiritual journey, it's really
putting yourself in a placewhere you can just enjoy nature,
(07:19):
enjoy life, being sensitive andand really open to what's
happening on the inside of you.
This work requires aninside-out job more than an
outside-in job.
Inside-out, really pausing tosee what's happening on the
inside of you.
(07:39):
When you find yourself beinganxious, angry, nervous, upset
or depressed, pause and see whatam I saying to myself.
I've learned over the yearsthat it's not so much what
actually happens to us as muchas it is the meaning that we
place on the events that happensin life, the actual meaning.
(08:04):
Can you believe that Even thatcan be challenging, and that's
why, when we're looking at theemotional self-care, when it
talks about journaling andtherapy, sometimes we need
someone else to help walk usthrough this thing called life.
And so, wherever you are, I justencourage you to really pause
(08:25):
for a moment and justself-reflect.
What areas do you feel islacking?
Is it relationships?
Is it finances?
Is it health?
Is it mental, emotional,spiritual, is it physical?
And whatever you identify,whatever comes up, physical.
(08:48):
And whatever you identify,whatever comes up, I encourage
you to write it down and createa plan, because it's one thing
to know something is wrong, it'sanother thing to know how do I
fix it, what is the solution,and then execute a plan.
Execute a plan, and so Iencourage you, as you're
(09:08):
continuing on this self-carejourney, if you're on social
media, write on social mediasome self-care things you do
with the hashtag self-carejourney, whether that's Facebook
, instagram, tiktok, so you canbegin to get make self-care the
(09:29):
awareness.
You can begin to make self-carethe awareness, I'm sorry, of
self-care more broad, because alot of people don't really
understand what it is because,due to upbringing, environmental
factors, a lot of people willmake you think that you choosing
to take care of yourself isselfish and sometimes, because
(09:50):
of our childbearing and ourexperiences, we can even send
ourselves that same message andtherefore, not doing anything
for self, constantly doingthings for everyone else,
constantly doing things foreveryone else, neglecting what
we need to do to make sure we'rewhole, mentally, spiritually,
(10:11):
emotionally, physically.
Really understand that it'sokay to set healthy boundaries.
If you have a problem with that, I want you to identify what is
the fear associated with me notbeing able to say no?
What is that fear?
(10:33):
Is there a fear of beingneglected, rejected, abandoned?
And then I would like for youto challenge that.
If I said no to them, wouldthey leave me?
Would the relationship be over?
And here's the thing if theanswer is yes, I would even
question that relationship.
(10:53):
It's unhealthy to be in alopsided relationship If all
we're doing is pouring andpouring and feeding everyone
else and neglecting ourselves,and then they're neglecting us.
We're just an accident waitingto happen.
(11:16):
So really understand this.
We took the time to do thisself-care group program because
we understand the importance ofindividuals, understanding the
importance of self-care and soour desire to continually help
those that are in the helpingfield, to help them realize.
(11:38):
Guess what?
Sometimes we need to pull asideto take care of ourselves.
And guess what?
That's not selfish, that'sself-care.
Okay, that's not selfish,that's self-care.
The importance of community,the importance of social
(12:00):
engagement, even if it's a smallgroup of individuals that's
going in the same direction thatyou desire to go, you want to
link with those individuals.
I have a book entitled the Powerof Perception.
I want you to challengeyourself, challenge how you're
(12:21):
thinking, ask yourself thequestion is where I am?
I want to always be.
Is there more to life?
If you're in your 30s, justimagine you have a good 50 more
years left.
If you're in your 40s, you havea good, at least 45 years left,
(12:44):
right.
And I'm just saying, if we livelong and nothing get in the way
.
But even if you're in your 70s,right, even if you're in your
70s, right, it's like, okay,wait, what am I going to do with
the years I have left?
Or am I just going to wasteaway, thinking to myself, well,
(13:08):
my time will come, but then youlast 10 more years, only to
realize you wasted those years.
Time is precious.
Time is precious.
You can't buy time.
And so, again, even in ourday-to-day busy lives, working,
(13:31):
trying to balance work life andeverything you must pull aside,
even if it's 10, 15 minuteswhere you don't focus on any
problem, you just allow yourselfto embrace the present moment,
you begin to meditate on whereyou desire to be, you begin to
(13:57):
work and write down what youdesire to do, speak words of
life.
Without a vision, the peopleperish.
You want to have a vision foryour future.
You want to have a vision foryour future, or you would just
(14:25):
be walking aimlessly throughthis thing called life, taking
care of everyone else whileyou're neglecting yourself in
the areas of physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual,
exercise, nutrition, sleep,hygiene, journaling, therapy,
learning how to set healthyboundaries, emotional check-ins
(14:49):
Do you have someone that you cancheck in from an emotional
standpoint?
Meditation, mindfulness Do youhave a hobby that you really
enjoy?
Learning new skills, buildinghealthy relationships,
socializing and communityinvolvement, prayer, going on
(15:09):
nurture walks or nature walks,and exploring personal beliefs?
Do you have any beliefs thatwill keep you stuck in your
present situation?
And if you recognize thosebeliefs, I encourage you to
challenge them, challenge them,Challenge them.
And so again, this is LaShonna.
(15:31):
Challenge them.
And so again, this is LaShonna.
Thank you for tuning in to theSelf-Care Podcast and I'll talk
to you soon.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
That concludes this week's episode.
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
And how we're going to do this?
(00:22):
By first showing you thefiltered, pretty version of
success, and then the realstruggles, real work and raw
grit it took to get there, howthey took care of themselves and
also achieved their goals whiledoing it Together.
We will work with you toimprove and maintain your
internal health and growth,while helping you achieve your
(00:42):
external goals and your nextprofessional achievement in life
, and we're excited to show youhow to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have
while taking good care ofyourself.
So let's get started.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Welcome everyone to the self-care podcast.
I am Lashana Alfred, and todaythis topic is nurturing your
mind, body and your spirit.
First, I just want to do arecap just to remind you
self-care is not selfish.
Self-care is when we make adecision to care for self and
(01:25):
when we're caring for others.
It shouldn't put us on the backburner or cause us to neglect
taking care of ourselves.
So today, when we're going onthis topic of nurturing our mind
, our body and our soul, or ourspirit, I really want you to
really understand the differentcategories and what we need to
(01:47):
do in those different categoriesas we continue on our self-care
journey.
And so I talked with a group ofladies who have been on this
self-care journey and to hearthe feedback, the testimonies of
the impact this self-careprogram has had on them has
(02:08):
really been inspiring for me.
To just listen to the communityand the camaraderie that has
taken place in this self-carecommunity has been awesome.
And so, as we continue, I justwant to encourage you just to
remember what we have sharedthroughout this time, remember
(02:29):
the relationships that has beenbuilt.
And so, when we're looking atjust practical self-care
strategies from a physicalself-care standpoint, we're
talking about exercise,nutrition, sleep and hygiene.
And so when we're talking aboutexercise, just wait a minute.
It doesn't mean you need to goout and purchase a gym
(02:53):
membership.
Do you realize that you can getexercise by walking around your
neighborhood, by going up anddown the steps in your home, by
going up and down the steps inyour home?
I just want to kind of jog yourmind to really begin to think
and reflect and focus on what doyou need to do for yourself in
(03:14):
the area of physical self-care.
We're talking about exercise,nutrition, sleep and hygiene.
Do you realize that all you mayneed to do is add more water to
your daily routine?
Just think about that.
By adding an extra glass, acouple glasses of water to your
(03:36):
routine, that literally can beassisting in your overall
physical well-being.
The next is emotional self-care.
Journaling, therapy, settinghealthy boundaries and emotional
check-ins are all underneaththe category of emotional
(03:57):
self-care.
And so when we're talking aboutjournaling and therapy, those
are things we may need in orderto learn how to set healthy
boundaries.
Oftentimes we set boundariesonce we're mad at someone right,
but setting healthy boundariesdoesn't require us to be angry.
Setting healthy boundaries justrequires us to reflect on where
(04:20):
we've been, where we desire togo and where we're currently at
in our lives and being able torecognize what's needed and
what's not needed.
Maybe you need to set somehealthy boundaries around mental
well-being.
So if every time you talk tosomeone and y'all get on topics
that messes with your mental,then guess what?
(04:41):
Those topics I will notcommunicate with that particular
individual.
But that will require takingtime to sit back and
self-reflect.
Mental self-care, meditation,mindfulness, hobbies and
learning new skills all of thoseare under mental self-care.
(05:04):
And so, again, our lives are socomplex, and so we have to
learn how to compartmentalize.
You may be doing very well inbusiness, you may be doing very
well in your finances, but youremotions are all out of whack.
So what does that say?
Okay, maybe, if I'm doing 90%in my career, which is going
(05:26):
well, and only 10% on myemotions, then I need to balance
that out.
How do I give my emotions thatsame amount of time?
So now I'm not prospering inbusiness, but my relationships
are jacked up because I'memotionally unstable or mentally
immature, and so look,understand that.
(05:49):
So physical self-care,emotional self-care, mental
self-care.
And then the fourth one issocial self-care building
healthy relationships,socializing and community
involvement.
That's one of the testimoniesthat I heard from the ladies is
the smaller groups help buildrelationships.
(06:12):
It allows them to open up andbe more transparent and
vulnerable.
I want you, or I encourage you,to look over your life and see
what's actually hindering youfrom participating in community
events, social engagement.
Is it because you have anxietyrelated to being outside in
(06:36):
large crowds?
Can you find a smaller groupJust looking at your life and
really evaluating and seeingwhat can be blocking you from
truly living the life that youdesire to live?
The fifth one is spiritualself-care Meditation, again,
(06:57):
prayer, nature walks andexploring personal beliefs.
And so when we're talking aboutthis spiritual journey,
everyone may not have thetraditional belief in God, right
but when we're looking at thespiritual journey, it's really
putting yourself in a placewhere you can just enjoy nature,
(07:19):
enjoy life, being sensitive andand really open to what's
happening on the inside of you.
This work requires aninside-out job more than an
outside-in job.
Inside-out, really pausing tosee what's happening on the
inside of you.
(07:39):
When you find yourself beinganxious, angry, nervous, upset
or depressed, pause and see whatam I saying to myself.
I've learned over the yearsthat it's not so much what
actually happens to us as muchas it is the meaning that we
place on the events that happensin life, the actual meaning.
(08:04):
Can you believe that Even thatcan be challenging, and that's
why, when we're looking at theemotional self-care, when it
talks about journaling andtherapy, sometimes we need
someone else to help walk usthrough this thing called life.
And so, wherever you are, I justencourage you to really pause
(08:25):
for a moment and justself-reflect.
What areas do you feel islacking?
Is it relationships?
Is it finances?
Is it health?
Is it mental, emotional,spiritual, is it physical?
And whatever you identify,whatever comes up, physical.
(08:48):
And whatever you identify,whatever comes up, I encourage
you to write it down and createa plan, because it's one thing
to know something is wrong, it'sanother thing to know how do I
fix it, what is the solution,and then execute a plan.
Execute a plan, and so Iencourage you, as you're
(09:08):
continuing on this self-carejourney, if you're on social
media, write on social mediasome self-care things you do
with the hashtag self-carejourney, whether that's Facebook
, instagram, tiktok, so you canbegin to get make self-care the
(09:29):
awareness.
You can begin to make self-carethe awareness, I'm sorry, of
self-care more broad, because alot of people don't really
understand what it is because,due to upbringing, environmental
factors, a lot of people willmake you think that you choosing
to take care of yourself isselfish and sometimes, because
(09:50):
of our childbearing and ourexperiences, we can even send
ourselves that same message andtherefore, not doing anything
for self, constantly doingthings for everyone else,
constantly doing things foreveryone else, neglecting what
we need to do to make sure we'rewhole, mentally, spiritually,
(10:11):
emotionally, physically.
Really understand that it'sokay to set healthy boundaries.
If you have a problem with that, I want you to identify what is
the fear associated with me notbeing able to say no?
What is that fear?
(10:33):
Is there a fear of beingneglected, rejected, abandoned?
And then I would like for youto challenge that.
If I said no to them, wouldthey leave me?
Would the relationship be over?
And here's the thing if theanswer is yes, I would even
question that relationship.
(10:53):
It's unhealthy to be in alopsided relationship If all
we're doing is pouring andpouring and feeding everyone
else and neglecting ourselves,and then they're neglecting us.
We're just an accident waitingto happen.
(11:16):
So really understand this.
We took the time to do thisself-care group program because
we understand the importance ofindividuals, understanding the
importance of self-care and soour desire to continually help
those that are in the helpingfield, to help them realize.
(11:38):
Guess what?
Sometimes we need to pull asideto take care of ourselves.
And guess what?
That's not selfish, that'sself-care.
Okay, that's not selfish,that's self-care.
The importance of community,the importance of social
(12:00):
engagement, even if it's a smallgroup of individuals that's
going in the same direction thatyou desire to go, you want to
link with those individuals.
I have a book entitled the Powerof Perception.
I want you to challengeyourself, challenge how you're
(12:21):
thinking, ask yourself thequestion is where I am?
I want to always be.
Is there more to life?
If you're in your 30s, justimagine you have a good 50 more
years left.
If you're in your 40s, you havea good, at least 45 years left,
(12:44):
right.
And I'm just saying, if we livelong and nothing get in the way
.
But even if you're in your 70s,right, even if you're in your
70s, right, it's like, okay,wait, what am I going to do with
the years I have left?
Or am I just going to wasteaway, thinking to myself, well,
(13:08):
my time will come, but then youlast 10 more years, only to
realize you wasted those years.
Time is precious.
Time is precious.
You can't buy time.
And so, again, even in ourday-to-day busy lives, working,
(13:31):
trying to balance work life andeverything you must pull aside,
even if it's 10, 15 minuteswhere you don't focus on any
problem, you just allow yourselfto embrace the present moment,
you begin to meditate on whereyou desire to be, you begin to
(13:57):
work and write down what youdesire to do, speak words of
life.
Without a vision, the peopleperish.
You want to have a vision foryour future.
You want to have a vision foryour future, or you would just
(14:25):
be walking aimlessly throughthis thing called life, taking
care of everyone else whileyou're neglecting yourself in
the areas of physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual,
exercise, nutrition, sleep,hygiene, journaling, therapy,
learning how to set healthyboundaries, emotional check-ins
(14:49):
Do you have someone that you cancheck in from an emotional
standpoint?
Meditation, mindfulness Do youhave a hobby that you really
enjoy?
Learning new skills, buildinghealthy relationships,
socializing and communityinvolvement, prayer, going on
(15:09):
nurture walks or nature walks,and exploring personal beliefs?
Do you have any beliefs thatwill keep you stuck in your
present situation?
And if you recognize thosebeliefs, I encourage you to
challenge them, challenge them,Challenge them.
And so again, this is LaShonna.
(15:31):
Challenge them.
And so again, this is LaShonna.
Thank you for tuning in to theSelf-Care Podcast and I'll talk
to you soon.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
That concludes this week's episode.
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.
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