September 30, 2025 • 67 mins
The headlines felt relentless, the feed louder than my own thoughts—so I grabbed a paintbrush, hit record, and chose a different kind of response. What followed was part art session, part reckoning: we talk about gun violence and responsibility, the way doomscrolling hijacks our nervous systems, and why joy might be the most subversive habit we can practice right now. I share how a long-overdue painting became a promise kept, how adult playtime repairs the roots that stress frays, and why making something—anything—can be a daily vote for your own agency.
We also open the door to ritual and curiosity. From beginner witchcraft and herbology to chakras, Reiki, and ancestral nudges toward Scotland, I trace how simple practices can pull us out of panic and back into presence. We question edited narratives—comparing the heft of old Bibles to slim modern versions—and land on a radical, practical reading: sacred texts should make us better humans, not meaner ones. If your beliefs don’t widen your compassion, it’s time to revise your practice, not your empathy. Along the way, we laugh about cringe as a birthplace of artistry, tell stories about cheesy cult classics like They Live, and turn a glitter-smeared canvas into proof that joy and grief can sit at the same table.
If you’ve felt stuck in survival mode, this conversation is your invitation to schedule fun, retrain brutal self-talk, and build community that meets honesty with honesty. Come for the catharsis, stay for the small, repeatable moves: five minutes of reading myth, a messy sketch, a quiet breath before the next scroll. Hit play, then share one tiny joy you’ll claim today. And if this resonated, subscribe, leave a review, and pass it to a friend who could use a little light.
Sometimes you gotta be adult in the room to say something. Silence = Death.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Warning.
You are about to watch a visualpodcast.
You have been warned.
You know, when you forget aboutcopyright laws, but you already
shot and edited everything andput it all together in a nice
little package.
And you know that you have tofix that before you release it.
(00:25):
First thing that you're gonna dois you're gonna give yourself a
little grace, a littleforgiveness, because you know
you're dusting off some skills.
You're a little rusty, butthat's okay.
We're relearning, we're learningthrough the process here.
The second thing that you'regonna do is you're gonna do a
huge pivot.
Okay.
Huge pivot.
(00:46):
Now, this pivot is probablygonna include some royalty-free
music, but I may also dosomething completely random and
different and make a musicalmasterpiece just out of hearts.
I don't know what I'm gonna doyet.
So tune in this week and findout what the fuck it is I'm
(01:09):
gonna do.
Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here.
Come with me and you'll be in aworld of pure imagination And
(01:35):
we're sitting just thinkingabout expectations.
Hello guys, it's your AuntieRobin here.
As you can see, I am choosing tochew bubblegum and kick ass
today.
I am all out of bubblegum and Iam also all out of ass.
(01:58):
Just letting you know.
But honestly, if you want to seea great movie, you really should
check out They Live by JohnCarpenter because it is a
fucking masterpiece.
It is a classic, it is cheese,amplified, amplified, and worthy
of being watched.
And I just want to let you knowthe this the special effects are
(02:20):
a little cheesy, but at thetime, though, they were top in
their class during the day.
So I just want to remind you ofthat.
So enjoy that.
It's very relevant to now withconsumerism and capitalism just
through the roof.
Uh, it might be pretty relevant.
And also, Roddy Rowdy Piper,there's a fight sequence in
(02:44):
there.
It is just truly the best fightsequence I think I have ever
seen.
It is just literally two guysslugging it out, and I it really
actually looks like what a realfight is.
Just two guys just slugging itout, just bleeding their own
lid, and it's quite hilarious.
(03:06):
So, too enthusiastic thumbs up.
If you like it, great.
Check it out.
If anything, you'll get someamusement out of it.
Now, this morning, I haveunintentionally doom scrolled,
and my brain, it's a littlefucked up right now.
(03:26):
I'm not gonna lie.
Today, I generally will neverretell you what days I'm
recording this because there'sno point.
But first off, it's September11th.
So we've got that going on.
And then yesterday, we had twoextremely violent things that
(03:50):
have happened in the UnitedStates, in which we had a school
shooting in Evergreen, Colorado,and then also Charlie Kirk being
basically shot, uh, which wasvery violent.
I didn't need to see that.
I really shouldn't have seenthat.
(04:10):
I wish I could erase that frommy mind, to be honest with you.
That was horrible.
And I am not a fan of the man byany means or stretch of the
imagination.
But that was a little extreme.
(04:34):
I'm just saying, what the fuckis wrong with us, America?
I mean, honestly, what the fuckis wrong with us?
I we keep going through thesesame cycles over and over and
over again, and nothing changes.
And after healing yourself, youkind of notice you have these
(05:00):
patterns of behavior within youthat keep repeating itself until
you learned your lesson, andthen you can move on.
Now, we have not done thatnecessarily as a society, and
maybe we should, but I alsounderstand something else is
(05:27):
that I can't control otherpeople, you can't control other
people, nobody can controlanybody else.
We have we were given free willby God, okay?
And it's amazing.
Big fan of free will, huge fan,love it.
But what is it gonna take to putsome sensible gun laws in place?
(05:53):
I'm sure if I could ask Charlie,actually, I think I could.
Hold on one second.
Okay.
Um, I'm only doing this becausemy ancestors' spirit guides have
been encouraging me lately uh toembrace my healing and magic uh
(06:15):
that I have within me.
Um and also I have had severalpast lives in which I was a
healer, in which I wasprosecuted, um, basically burnt
at the stake, um, drowned.
Um yeah, I was part of the witchtrials.
(06:36):
Okay.
I was one of those women uh thatyou thought you burned and came
back.
But I am supposed to play aroundwith witchcraft and to play
around, and I'm just startingoff with basic stuff.
I actually am not really toointo the witchcraft and the
(06:57):
woo-woo, but I'm starting offwith the basics.
We're starting with herbology.
I got my herbology book backhere.
I also have my rune book, aswell as, you know, the Akasha
Records and a little Scotlandbecause my ancestors and stuff
want me to go back to themotherland, is what they're
(07:17):
telling me.
So I may be making a journey toScotland and the motherland and
see what happens there.
Um, but I also have these otherbooks because I love reading and
I don't always have necessarilya lot of time.
And these are mythology andfolklore books, basically about
(07:38):
Native Americans, Aztecs,Scottish, Egyptian, Japanese,
myth, and legends.
Um, but they're really shortstories, and so I can just pull
one of those books anywhere fromfive to thirty pages, and then I
set it down and I've done myreading for the day.
Um, sometimes it's just thesmall little things that we can
do um that make the biggestdifference to filling up our
(08:03):
cup, especially when things getoverwhelmed and how they are
right now, for me at least.
I'm very overwhelmed.
And so today I have my paints infront of me.
I have some tasty littlewatercolors here, some tasty
little brushes, and I'm gonna bemaking some art while I'm doing
(08:26):
my podcast.
I'm going to be talking about avariety of different things, but
back to the violence and theshooting here in America.
I I want to ask a simplequestion.
Does Charlie Kirk Kirk would hechange his mind today?
(08:50):
Seeing as Witchie is no longerwith us and he has been a victim
of gun violence.
Do you still feel the same wayabout the Second Amendment?
Shall we ask?
I'm going to use thesedivination rods, okay?
Because I cannot control thesethings.
And basically they are copper.
You just kind of hold them andyou ask some questions.
(09:13):
Okay?
So, hey, can you show me what ayes looks like?
Can you guys show me what a nolooks like?
Okay.
So that's our yes or no.
So if it crosses, it's a yes.
If it expands out, it's a no.
Okay.
So is my name Robin?
Do I go by Auntie Robin?
(09:37):
Okay.
Uh is my name Bob.
Okay.
So after the gun violence ofyesterday, does Charlie Kirk
change his mind on the SecondAmendment and does he support it
(09:59):
now?
Please note that that is a no.
So Charlie Kirk does not supportthe Second Amendment now that he
has been shot.
(10:21):
That is a Yes.
I do not support the SecondAmendment.
So Charlie Kirk does not supportthe Second Amendment now that he
has been unalived.
Correct.
Okay.
(10:42):
Thank you.
What is it going to take otherthan your own that it happens to
you?
What is it gonna take?
(11:02):
What is it gonna take beyond ithappening to you, America?
It's a question I'd like to askyou.
What is it going to take?
I'm asking my gun owners becausethis is really down to you.
And I understand the reason whyour founding fathers put that in
(11:31):
because they believed thattyranny can happen at any point
in time within life, and youshould be able to defend
yourself.
Things should not be banned.
But the thing also is that theydid not see the vast expanse of
(11:54):
the destruction that we have putupon ourselves.
We've done it to ourselves.
We created this.
They could not even fathom thenuclear bomb that we came up
with, the weapons of massdestruction that we have created
(12:18):
in this world.
They did not have an inkling oridea of any of that.
It is our responsibility ascitizens to ensure the safety of
our fellow countrymen.
(12:48):
It is up to us.
(13:43):
Sometimes you really do justneed to turn that beat around.
And I know that that seems likethe most awkward and weird,
bizarre thing to actually do,but honestly, when you are faced
with so much, and I do mean somuch tragedy and bullshit and
(14:07):
constant piling on of all thenegative crap.
You have to remember what it isin life that you're doing, and
sometimes you have to celebratelife.
And honestly, I'm challengingsome shamanic shaumatic
(14:31):
practices.
Yeah, I'm learning to talk.
Um I'm putting some of those tothe test because these are
really depressing times.
I don't know if you've gottenthat memo, but it's a shit show
out there, okay?
(14:53):
I think I've just proved that inmy opening.
Sometimes we gotta let it out.
We got to release all this angerand this frustration, and
sometimes just doing that is anact of singing, it's an act of
dancing, it's an act of creatingand and making art, okay?
(15:17):
Sometimes it's just these littlethings that make the world of
difference that you don't thinkmakes a world of difference.
But sometimes a golden vagina isgonna save the world.
Okay?
Sometimes a golden vagina willsave the world.
(15:38):
It may not be today, justletting you know.
But god damn.
Now, I'm changing the format alittle bit, if you haven't
noticed.
Um, I can't teach you guys tolove yourself.
There's there's no way that Ican.
(16:00):
I I love myself, but you'regonna have to love yourself, and
I can't make that happen foryou.
I can't wave my little magicdisco ball pen and say, you love
yourself.
Congratulations.
Okay, that's not how it works.
(16:22):
But the first thing that youhave to do is stop talking shit
about yourself.
It's the hardest thing.
It took me months to figure outhow to do that, and it was
repetition and repetition, andoh my dear God, I wanted to kill
somebody by the end of that timeperiod.
Because what I did is as soon asthat came out of my mouth and I
(16:47):
heard it, I had to say threethings positive about myself,
and I had to backtrack mycomment and turn it into a
positive, and then I had to saytwo more things on top of that
that are better.
Yeah, that got tiring after awhile because I talked a lot of
(17:10):
shit about myself that I didn'teven realize that I was doing.
And I think you do it too.
I think you'd be surprised.
I no longer can say I'm I can'teven I can't.
I can't, I can't say it.
I can't even say it anymore.
I can't say Oh god, I can't.
(17:33):
The words will not come out ofmy mouth anymore.
I it's too much.
It's too much.
But the thing is, is that stopit.
Just be nice to yourself.
Why can't you just be nice toyourself?
And that's that's the thing.
That's the thing that Irealized.
(17:53):
It isn't about forgivingeverybody else who like insulted
me or called me names or madefun of me when I was a kid, or
even as an adult, because it allstarted when I was four.
And what ended up happening is Iended up learning that if I make
(18:14):
fun of myself before they makefun of me, then they can't hurt
me because I'm doing it tomyself.
That was my logic.
How fucked up is that as a kid?
But but you know, it insulatedme.
And then I started gainingweight, and now I'm actually
(18:37):
loving myself and I'm actuallylosing weight.
It's so fucking bizarre.
So bizarre.
But today I am working on apainting for a friend because I
want to be a person whose wordis their bond, essentially.
(19:02):
And I have been, I told thisperson that I would make them a
piece of art, and I did makethem a piece of art.
I did, I did, I did.
But I made a piece of jewelryand I told them that I was gonna
make a painting, but I never gotaround to making the painting.
Well, I'm getting around to thepainting now, like four, three,
(19:27):
five, six years later, maybe.
And I'm starting to do that now.
And I'm actually enjoying it.
But you have to do stuff foryourself, and that is how you
(19:50):
enjoy life.
Because another thing that I Idoom-scrolled this morning is
how my millennial generation isdying off quicker than any other
generation.
It's kind of sad, but I get it,because the world she is not
kind out there.
(20:13):
We have basically gone fromCOVID, okay, in which we were
insulated from everybody, somuch death, so much despair, so
much destruction.
It it was horrible.
And I don't think that werealized how much that actually
(20:36):
probably fucked us up.
That was a traumatic experience,guys.
That was trauma.
Welcome to trauma.
The whole entire worldexperienced it.
The whole world experienced it.
(20:59):
And we were made to go back towork, at least in America, I
can't speak for the rest of theworld.
But we were made to go back towork as if nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
Millions of people didn't die,just die.
(21:19):
People didn't lose their theirbusinesses, people didn't like
lose their income, people didn'tlose their housing, people
didn't lose their livelihoods,their lives, and we were just
expected to just go back to workas if nothing happened.
(21:43):
And you wonder why we aren'tmentally doing okay right now?
Hmm Gee Maybe show some fuckingcompassion.
Maybe show some goddamn sympathyevery once in a while.
(22:03):
But there's only so much that wecan do.
Now, this painting that I amworking on is for a friend who
actually just started doing likeReiki healing and stuff like
(22:27):
that.
And so that's basically whereyou're learning about the chakra
systems within the body, andit's an amazing, amazing
healing.
They call it a massagetechnique, but I don't to me
it's really more of energy workthan it is necessarily of uh
(22:54):
massage.
So you're dealing more with theenergetic body system and making
sure that each one of thechakras from like the root, the
sacral, the solar plexus, theheart, the throat, the third
eye, and the crown, and each onehas a color representation, and
(23:16):
each one, you know, uhsymbolizes different things,
like our root chakra is like oursurvival mode, and that, my
friends, has been really taxedlately and is is a little little
tired, she's a little tired, ourroot chakra, because we have
been in survival mode for fartoo long, my friends.
(23:39):
Um, because pretty much all ofthis shit has started, I would
say, when I was in high schoolis when all this shit started.
And it's just gottenprogressively worse and worse
and worse.
You know, you needed that extrajob, now you need two, now you
(24:00):
need three, now you you almostneed like four.
It's like, guys, we can't keepdoing this to ourselves.
We can't.
There, there, there really is noway, reason, or behind doing
this.
But here we are doing it.
(24:22):
And I don't know who came upwith this idea, but I would
really like to have a talk withthem.
Because um, I don't like yourmemo.
I don't think the world likesyour memo.
And I would like to stop and getoff that train if I can.
(24:43):
Because this train is just gonnakeep on going until we fall off
the rails.
And I don't know about you, butI'd like to do that before we
fall off the rails.
If at all humanly possible.
unknown (25:04):
That would be great.
SPEAKER_00 (25:08):
Alright.
Well, as you can see, now I havea shiny glittering asshole.
And we've just started.
Alright.
I'm gonna let this dry here alittle bit.
And I'm just gonna tell you, itis small things that add up over
(25:28):
time that bring us joy.
And maybe the revolutionary actin all of this from the violence
of yesterday is to actually livein our joy.
And maybe we need to do thatmore.
So grab yourself a fucking bookand start reading.
(25:59):
Grab yourself some pen and paperand start drawing.
Take to the camera.
Take to just take to thehairbrush.
Take it to the brush if you wantto.
And just sing it out,motherfuckers.
unknown (26:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (26:22):
Sing it out.
Maybe you need to dance it out.
That's what I'm gonna do today.
I'm gonna dance some shit out.
So be prepared, my friends.
Be prepared.
And if you think it's cringe, it100% is.
It 100% is cringe.
(26:44):
And you want to know something?
Cringe is where you find yourartistry.
Cringe is where artistry comesfrom.
It is through the cringe thatyou end up finding yourself.
You find your heart, you findyour soul, you find that little
(27:05):
piece of happiness that somebodycannot take away.
And it is there, there, that youfind happiness and doing
something for yourself.
Our capitalist out-of-controloligarchy political
situationship doesn't give ashit about your feelings.
(27:25):
It never will.
So you have to take control ofthat.
And that is what I amencouraging you to do today.
Take control of your ownmotherfucking happiness.
And if that includes making afucking glittery yellow asshole,
then that's what it does.
(27:46):
Shine that asshole.
Just shine it.
Cause right now all I gotta sayis carry on my wayward song.
There'll be peace when you aredone.
Lay your weary head to restdon't you cry no more Ow So here
(28:16):
I am at fifty three, watchingthe world burn and trying to
have a little fun.
That really doesn't make anysense But does anything make
sense?
I figure what the fuck?
What could go wrong?
I enjoy myself a little bitwhile the world is kind of
(28:39):
crashing around me.
I think we could all use alittle fun.
Let's schedule some fun.
But do I remember how to havefun?
Do I remember what joy lookslike?
Do I remember what happiness is?
What is happiness?
(29:00):
Do you know what that is?
It's been a long time since I'veseen that, so I'm hoping you
guys can help me out with whatthat looks like.
But you can't thrive when you'rejust surviving.
And I I don't know about therest of the world, but in
America right now, we are justsurviving.
(29:24):
We're just surviving to get by.
And that is, unfortunately,guys, by design, they're doing
that on purpose.
Because if we do not thrive,then we can't fight them because
we're just trying to survive andget by.
(29:46):
So we're not really going tocomplain too much if we aren't
thriving.
Whereas if we're thriving, wehave more to lose.
So we'll end up fighting morefor those things.
(30:07):
Shit.
Did I just come up with arevolution?
Is a revolution to have fun?
Kick it.
Oh God.
(30:31):
But maybe it is to have morefun.
Because if you think about it,like I remember seeing a video
of one of the protests in DC,and there was a row of like
Proud Boys, a row of cops, andthen other protesters.
And the thing is, is that thingswere getting tense.
I mean, like, there they wasabout ready to we're ready to
(30:56):
bust knuckles at some point herebecause they kept getting closer
and closer and closer.
And you want to know whatsomebody did?
They pulled out a fucking minituba and started playing.
Everything changed.
(31:17):
Lighted the fuck up.
They were both dancing then atthat point.
They were just like, oh yeah, ohyeah.
Get the Jamma, get the Jamma.
Maybe this is the revolutionthat we're looking for.
It seems really popped.
But maybe we're supposed to havefun.
(31:37):
Maybe we're supposed to find joyand happiness and caring within
our communities and within ourfriend groups.
And if you don't feel like youhave a friend group, then ask
yourself if you're beingauthentically you to those
people.
And if you're not beingauthentically you towards those
(32:00):
people, or they're not beingauthentically them towards you,
then maybe they weren't yourfriends in the first place.
Because not everybody on thisplanet is supposed to like you.
I know that that sounds likebear with me here.
Not everyone on the planet issupposed to like you.
(32:27):
I'm just throwing that one outthere.
I don't think everybody realizesthat.
That not everyone is going tolike you.
And it's okay.
It is okay that people do notlike you because they are
probably not your people tobegin with in the first place.
(32:48):
The people who will get you aregonna get you.
And the people who aren't, thenyou have to figure out am I in
the wrong place?
Maybe I need to move somewhereelse to find my people.
And I'm not in the right placeto find those connections that
(33:08):
connect with me.
But you have to give upsomething, you have to give up
that old location, you gottagive up that old life.
I have given up family, I havegiven up my marriage, I have
(33:29):
given up my house to findmyself.
And I'm realizing now that afterdoing all of that, that Oklahoma
may not be where I need to beright now.
That I need I may need to besomewhere else.
(33:52):
I don't know where that is.
Maybe it's Scotland, maybe it'sEdinburgh, maybe it's somewhere
else in the United States, maybeit's in a different country.
But you have to figure that outfor you.
But just remember, it's gonnacost you your old life in order
(34:14):
to get a new one, and you've gotto be willing to sacrifice all
of that for that reason, andthat's why a lot of people don't
do this, they don't go throughall of this to have a new life,
but I'm becoming somethingdifferent, and I don't know what
(34:38):
exactly it is that I ambecoming, but if you have
watched or heard my podcast fromnine months ago to now, it's
vastly different.
I'm actually having some funnow.
I'm actually finding someenjoyment in this.
I'm not dreading it as much.
(34:59):
I'm actually enjoying coming onhere and shooting the shit with
you like this because I'm doingthe things that I love to do,
and my the things that I love todo are all around me.
All around me.
And art can be done anywhere inany different form.
(35:25):
It doesn't have to be drawing,it doesn't have to be
photography, it it doesn't haveto be painting, it could be
singing, it could be dancing, itcould be skateboarding, it could
be playing a sport, it could beanything that you want it to be.
That you find genuine joy in,and that's what I'm encouraging
(35:48):
you to please find.
Please find your joy.
I'm begging you, it's time tofind your joy.
We've had enough of thebullshit.
Find your fucking joy and findit right now.
I'm please find your joy.
(36:16):
Because we need playtime asadults.
And I don't think that we'verealized that.
Well, I know I haven't realizedthat until now, is that adults
need playtime too.
We need to go play.
Have you played?
Maybe you should.
(36:38):
Go play with your kids.
Go climb on that jungle gym.
Act like a complete fuckingidiot.
Go swing on that swing set.
Do it.
Do it for you.
Don't do it for your kids.
If they want to join, then fine,they can join.
But do something specificallyfor you.
(37:31):
Now I don't know what's gonnahappen next.
I really truly don't.
Let me get my paint brush herebefore it ruins my corpse.
But as we're all becoming, whydon't you just come with me?
(37:53):
And we'll be in a world of pureimagination and it will defy
expectations.
Now, I kind of thought that thispodcast was actually for you to
(38:16):
teach you how to love yourself,but I'm kind of realizing now I
don't think that's the case.
I think it's more about metrying to love myself and trying
to show you what that lookslike.
It doesn't make any sense to meeither, but we're gonna go with
(38:40):
that.
I mean, sometimes you just needto slow down your life and and
remember to just enjoy yourself.
Cause we have to have figure outwhat's what's worth fighting for
right now.
(39:01):
It's it it's it's not worthfighting for gun rights right
now.
It's not worth fighting for Ifeel like I'm just fighting for
the right to live and to livehappily.
That's that's what I feel likethe right is what I'm fighting
for right now.
(39:23):
And maybe if each one of us isfighting for our right to be
happy, maybe that oh wow.
That is kind of a revolution,isn't it?
Well shit.
Alright, everybody.
Come on, let's get happy.
(39:43):
Come on, let's partridge familythis shit.
Come on, world, it's a song thatwas singin'.
Come on, get happy.
But claim and choose your art,your dance, your song.
Claim it because this is what itsounds like.
(40:56):
It sounds like freedom.
That's what that sounds like tome.
Is that maybe by choosing thefun, choosing the best way to
live, and to be the best personthat you can be in the now that
that's what to be the bestversion of us that we can be.
(41:21):
And that isn't gonna happen.
Being depressed, having anxiety,feeling the weight of the entire
world on us.
In fact, it's really more aboutfilling our cup and finding our
joy, and that is the revolutionthat we need to take place,
(41:42):
okay?
I think I've said that enoughthis episode.
But as a kid and during thisclass, I realized that my
parents um kind of scared theshit out of me at one point in
(42:03):
time because as a kid I couldwatch TV in my bed.
So I I could kind of see the TV,but I could mostly hear it.
And I could kind of make outwhat it was on the TV, um, but
not always, because it justdepended on the angle and the
light and the way everythingreflected on whether or not I
(42:27):
could see the actual TV, but Icould definitely hear it.
And one night I was watching,they were watching one flew over
at the cuckoo's nest, and I'mjust like, oh, hey, yeah, that
was a lot.
I probably shouldn't have beensitting there watching that, but
I did.
And then like a couple weekslater, they told me that I
(42:50):
needed to shut the fuck up aboutum about my past lives, and that
if I don't watch my mouth, thatuh somehow somebody is going to
take it the wrong way, and thatthey're going to put me into an
insane asylum.
Now, they did not directlythreaten me with that of sending
(43:12):
me to the insane asylum, butthat is what I took as a kid.
Okay.
I took that as a threat againstme and that they were going to
do this.
It scared the shit out of me.
Now, also at the time, I askedif I could go talk to a Native
(43:39):
American medicine person.
Because that was the question Iasked.
And that was the response I got.
But the reason why I asked tosee a Native American medicine
person is because the NativeAmericans believe that people
who could talk to theirancestors, who remembered their
(44:02):
past lives, were actually veryspiritual people and needed
extra care and extra sense, theywere extra sensitive, and that
they needed to be nurtured alittle bit more in order to
develop those gifts.
And they considered them gifts,as opposed to my parents, which
(44:23):
they thought acted and treatedme more like it was a curse.
So I've had to unpack all ofthat in the past three years,
and it was a lot.
It's a lot to have to unpack.
But seriously, it was terrifyingbeing told that my parents
(44:52):
wanted to throw me into insane.
That that did a number on me.
More than what they thought.
(45:22):
In fact, I should have juststuck with Conan the Barbarian.
My dad loved Conan theBarbarian, and every time it was
on, he would watch that.
So what would end up happeningis that I would end up watching
it through the through thehallway there.
(45:42):
And he would hear me giggling.
And once my mom went to bed,he's just like, just get out
here.
So I would sit there and watchSaturday Night Live with my dad.
Um, we watched Conan theBarbarian when it was on TV, so
(46:03):
it was heavily edited forcontent.
I trust me on that one.
That's why when we actuallyrented the DVD one time, and all
of a sudden there's Arnold ishaving sex with some witch woman
in her hut with this fire goingon, and then there's the entire
(46:25):
sex pit orgy scene.
I'm just like, what the fuck isthis?
Where did this come from?
Like, deja vu here.
I'm like, what movie is this?
I don't remember any of thishappening.
And it kind of got me thinking,like, if you look at like, talk
(46:47):
about edited for content.
If you look at your Bible, andplease take your time, go find
your Bible, count how many pagesare in it.
I really want you to do this,okay?
So take your Bible, see how manypages are in it.
I want you to then look up theTrump Bible, and I know that
that is only the New Testament.
(47:09):
Okay.
Um, take a look at that NewTestament.
Look at the page count on thatshit.
Okay.
Then look at the page count onyour New Testament.
Now I want you to find a Biblefrom 1920s or earlier.
I want you to look up the pagecount on that.
(47:32):
Because you want to knowsomething?
Those Bibles, they are fick.
Fick.
Those Bibles are fake.
And I like even mine from the80s is smaller than that.
And then you look at like theTrump Bible, and it's like, I'm
like, that is not the same, myfriends.
(47:56):
You have taken some shit out.
Okay?
These are not the same.
And this is where I think a lotof people have a problem with
religion.
Bear with me here, because Ithink religion is great.
Honestly, I am a full supporterof religion as long as you are
(48:18):
following it and it makes youthe best version of you that you
can be.
If it is not making the bestversion of you, then you might
want to reconsider it.
That's all I'm saying.
All I'm saying.
Just think about that.
But there is a vast differencebetween yesteryear's Bible and
(48:44):
today's Bible.
And this is where I have a lotof problems with the Christian
faith, is because it has beenedited and pared down, and I
don't like this part, so I'mgoing to take that out.
And then it just doesn't exist,and I can say that this is what
really honestly what it means.
(49:04):
But I took out the part thatcounterdicts that.
This is where we are at rightnow is fine-tuning a religion, a
religious text that should justbe.
(49:25):
It should just be what it is.
Okay, and God's word camethrough them and was written
out.
Now, mediums can do the exactsame thing with your spirit
(49:51):
guides and your ancestors.
Sometimes there's, I don't know,some people consider them
angels.
There's angels, there's spiritguides, there's many different
things that you can talk andcommune to, but you can write
this stuff down.
And this is kind of in part ofthe process of what I'm I'm
(50:13):
learning to do right now istrying to figure out were these
really prophets of God?
I kind of wonder that.
(50:39):
Well, actually.
What is the question that I'masking?
Were those who wrote the humansthat wrote the Bible, were they
(51:02):
doing basically being likemediums and divine
interpretation?
Was that directly from God?
Was that directly from angels?
And the angels instructed humanson what to write?
(51:30):
Was this for purposes of Sorry,I'm just trying to figure out
how to phrase this.
Was this for purposes of guidingus to be better human beings?
(51:51):
Or are all religions guides tobeing better human beings?
Okay, not all religions.
Okay.
Is Christianity let's just getspecific.
Is Christianity US evangelicalChristianity here to try and
(52:12):
better human beings?
That's all.
They just want us to be betterhuman beings.
It it has nothing to do withDoes it have anything to do with
God?
Is this more of an instructionmanual on is the Bible more of
(52:34):
an instruction manual on how tobe a better human being?
Is it to show God's will?
Well fuck me.
(52:56):
I was not expecting that one.
I am generally surprised rightnow.
I'm sorry, I I I did not planthis one out.
Uh the this is to me.
(53:18):
I I'm I'm kind of dumbfoundedthat the Bible is really just to
learn how to be a better humanbeing Just a craft.
Okay.
It has nothing to do about God'swill.
(53:42):
Just to be a better human being.
Alright guys, you heard it herefirst.
The Bible is here to be a betterhuman being.
That's what God wants for us.
Does God want us to be justbetter human beings?
Does he want us to hate on eachother?
(54:06):
So maybe we should stop that.
You heard it here first, guys.
You heard it here first.
So anyway, check out your Bible.
Check out how many pages it has.
Because you will be surprised bythe flukeness of the old Bibles
(54:29):
compared to the new.
It is huge.
So these new interpretations arejust kind of tweaking things.
So let's twerk some things,shall we?
(55:27):
Just keeping on working.
Just picking out some pines.
Trying to find the right color.
Cause that's what we love it.
He let color.
We like to feel it.
We like to see it.
(55:48):
So now as a kid, I was givenlike the wildest imagination.
I mean, I came up with some ofthe wildest shit when I was a
kid.
And like drawing it out, puttingit out, it was so much fun.
But it was also kind offrustrating because as a kid, I
(56:12):
wanted to make these things thatI was given all these ideas.
And I'm just kind of like, howcan I do this?
And I didn't know how to dothis.
And but now I realize, well, Iwas just a kid.
I didn't have the money, theresources, um, or really,
honestly, anyone to believe meon any of these ideas.
(56:35):
And it kind of got stuck, it gotstifled.
And I had to work through all ofthat, like mentally over the
past three years.
This is some of the shit that Ihave been working on getting rid
of in this little old noggin ofmine.
But I kind of felt likehonestly, I was in spiritual
(56:59):
witness protection program.
It's just kind of like, oh, wecan't have you shine too
brightly on that.
Let's dim it down just a littlebit.
Like, oh, nope, nope, nope,nope, nope, nope.
You like acting?
You're really pretty good at it,kid, but nope, nope, nope, nope,
nope, not right now.
Not right now.
Oh, you like you like fashion,you like, you like how you look?
(57:22):
Okay, yeah.
No, no, we're just gonna havepeople make fun of you right
now.
Okay, okay, okay.
And that was my life growing upas a kid.
So I've had to literally workthrough all of this bullshit
that has been piling up in myhead that other people have put
in there, okay?
And also I have put in there.
(57:43):
And I've had to clear that out.
But going through that andhaving as many dark nights of
the soul as I have had has beena lot.
Okay.
Now, you can be a phoenix risingfrom the ashes, but it doesn't
(58:03):
necessarily make it any easier.
Okay, it just doesn't.
Oh, that's a pretty color.
Um, I like that.
But even being a phoenix risingfrom the ashes and working
through those dark nights of thesoul, what it really comes down
(58:26):
to is guilt and shame.
And how you get guilt and shameis basically from your seven
deadly sins, your greed.
So what you are hanging on to,what what is your what is it
(58:48):
that you're trying to hoard,essentially, or your envy and
jealousy, okay?
Um, and social media loves theseven deadly sins.
I mean, it really just bringsall of that out because you're
jealous of other people's lives,you're jealous of what other
(59:08):
people are doing, um, itshowcases your greed sometimes.
It showcases either how muchyou're not taking care of
yourself or how much you aretaking care of yourself, you
know, which would basically besloth.
Um greed is the need ofpossessing things, um, gluttony
(59:32):
taking things basically to theextreme is basically what I
think gluttony is.
And then like lust basicallycraving pleasure.
Now, I I I know that I'm sayingthat we should have fun.
It that doesn't necessarily meana hedonistic experience right
now.
I'm not I'm not even endorsingthat.
(59:53):
But but if you oh good for you.
I wish you the best.
Let's not take it to thoseextremes.
Okay, let's not just completelygo in the other direction here.
Because we need to be led morewith our hearts and not
(01:00:15):
necessarily our logic on this.
No that that sounds reallyweird, but follow me along.
When you are following more ofyour heart, you're a little bit
more forgiving, compassionate,and caring towards other people,
but really what you need is tohave compassion and care and
(01:00:38):
giving for yourself.
Because when you're dealing withyour shadows, your sins, if you
will, and basically to a largerextent, I guess it's really more
of your guilt and shame.
You have to forgive yourself andlet that guilt and shame go, is
(01:01:01):
what it comes down to.
Because that is where the dangeris, is when you fall into
victimhood.
And honey, I am not in myvillain era because I am holding
up a mirror, you know, sayingshiny green asshole.
(01:01:24):
Uh what I'm really saying is isthat just because I'm being a
mirror to you, and you're seeingthat I'm advocating for fun in
(01:01:53):
the midst of the downfall of theUnited States, that I am being
in my villain era, but I am notbeing in my villain era because
villains rely on victimhood.
(01:02:13):
No, honey, I am in my savageera, okay?
Savage.
Because I have so many fucks togive that I have extra.
Okay?
So I am giving forth my fucks.
(01:02:35):
Are you ready for that?
I don't think you are.
I don't think anybody is.
But I care too much abouteverything, and that that kind
of is my problem.
I care too much, honestly, andthat is not a weakness.
That is not something to ever becalled weak for.
(01:03:00):
Because I've been in through thedarkest parts of me, and I still
found love there.
Even in the dark parts, and youcan do that too, but you've got
to go through it, and Irecommend completely going
through it because it is not fungoing partway through and then
(01:03:23):
being stuck.
You've got to continue, you'vegot to move forward, you've got
to push, not too hard, mind you,but you do got to push yourself
out of that fear of whateveryour fear is.
(01:03:44):
Mine is a little bit ofrejection, but also a little bit
of success.
What if I find those things?
What if that what if everythingworks out for me?
I'm just becoming right now.
I I'm still trying to figuremyself out and where I am in the
whole scheme of things withinthe world.
(01:04:06):
Okay.
I'm still trying to figure thatout.
I don't know if I will everfigure it out.
I hope I do.
But if I don't, that is alsookay.
But what it ultimately comesdown to is that these times they
are dark.
(01:04:27):
And sometimes you need to be thelittlest little light.
And that is what I am.
I am just a teeny tiny littlelight that you guys have been
trying to blow out for like 53years.
I'm not going away anytime realsoon.
(01:04:55):
And somebody who bronze sobright does not should not burn
out twice as fast.
And I can prove that to you, andwill prove that to you with my
life the way it becomes fromhere on out.
You are gonna see what the fuck.
(01:05:19):
I'm not joking.
You're gonna ask yourself, howin the fuck did she do this?
Because I don't know how thefuck I am doing this.
I really truly don't.
But come along for the journey,come along for the ride because
she's gonna be interesting, ifnothing else.
She is going to be interesting.
(01:05:40):
So don't fit into a box, havesome fucking fun, and get out
there and enjoy yourmotherfucking life.
Okay.
I'll see you next time.
But one more thing.
Drop the needle.
Warning.
You are about to watch a visualpodcast.
You have been warned.
You know, when you forget aboutcopyright laws, but you already
shot and edited everything andput it all together in a nice
little package.
And you know that you have tofix that before you release it.
(00:25):
First thing that you're gonna dois you're gonna give yourself a
little grace, a littleforgiveness, because you know
you're dusting off some skills.
You're a little rusty, butthat's okay.
We're relearning, we're learningthrough the process here.
The second thing that you'regonna do is you're gonna do a
huge pivot.
Okay.
Huge pivot.
(00:46):
Now, this pivot is probablygonna include some royalty-free
music, but I may also dosomething completely random and
different and make a musicalmasterpiece just out of hearts.
I don't know what I'm gonna doyet.
So tune in this week and findout what the fuck it is I'm
(01:09):
gonna do.
Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here.
Come with me and you'll be in aworld of pure imagination And
(01:35):
we're sitting just thinkingabout expectations.
Hello guys, it's your AuntieRobin here.
As you can see, I am choosing tochew bubblegum and kick ass
today.
I am all out of bubblegum and Iam also all out of ass.
(01:58):
Just letting you know.
But honestly, if you want to seea great movie, you really should
check out They Live by JohnCarpenter because it is a
fucking masterpiece.
It is a classic, it is cheese,amplified, amplified, and worthy
of being watched.
And I just want to let you knowthe this the special effects are
(02:20):
a little cheesy, but at thetime, though, they were top in
their class during the day.
So I just want to remind you ofthat.
So enjoy that.
It's very relevant to now withconsumerism and capitalism just
through the roof.
Uh, it might be pretty relevant.
And also, Roddy Rowdy Piper,there's a fight sequence in
(02:44):
there.
It is just truly the best fightsequence I think I have ever
seen.
It is just literally two guysslugging it out, and I it really
actually looks like what a realfight is.
Just two guys just slugging itout, just bleeding their own
lid, and it's quite hilarious.
(03:06):
So, too enthusiastic thumbs up.
If you like it, great.
Check it out.
If anything, you'll get someamusement out of it.
Now, this morning, I haveunintentionally doom scrolled,
and my brain, it's a littlefucked up right now.
(03:26):
I'm not gonna lie.
Today, I generally will neverretell you what days I'm
recording this because there'sno point.
But first off, it's September11th.
So we've got that going on.
And then yesterday, we had twoextremely violent things that
(03:50):
have happened in the UnitedStates, in which we had a school
shooting in Evergreen, Colorado,and then also Charlie Kirk being
basically shot, uh, which wasvery violent.
I didn't need to see that.
I really shouldn't have seenthat.
(04:10):
I wish I could erase that frommy mind, to be honest with you.
That was horrible.
And I am not a fan of the man byany means or stretch of the
imagination.
But that was a little extreme.
(04:34):
I'm just saying, what the fuckis wrong with us, America?
I mean, honestly, what the fuckis wrong with us?
I we keep going through thesesame cycles over and over and
over again, and nothing changes.
And after healing yourself, youkind of notice you have these
(05:00):
patterns of behavior within youthat keep repeating itself until
you learned your lesson, andthen you can move on.
Now, we have not done thatnecessarily as a society, and
maybe we should, but I alsounderstand something else is
(05:27):
that I can't control otherpeople, you can't control other
people, nobody can controlanybody else.
We have we were given free willby God, okay?
And it's amazing.
Big fan of free will, huge fan,love it.
But what is it gonna take to putsome sensible gun laws in place?
(05:53):
I'm sure if I could ask Charlie,actually, I think I could.
Hold on one second.
Okay.
Um, I'm only doing this becausemy ancestors' spirit guides have
been encouraging me lately uh toembrace my healing and magic uh
(06:15):
that I have within me.
Um and also I have had severalpast lives in which I was a
healer, in which I wasprosecuted, um, basically burnt
at the stake, um, drowned.
Um yeah, I was part of the witchtrials.
(06:36):
Okay.
I was one of those women uh thatyou thought you burned and came
back.
But I am supposed to play aroundwith witchcraft and to play
around, and I'm just startingoff with basic stuff.
I actually am not really toointo the witchcraft and the
(06:57):
woo-woo, but I'm starting offwith the basics.
We're starting with herbology.
I got my herbology book backhere.
I also have my rune book, aswell as, you know, the Akasha
Records and a little Scotlandbecause my ancestors and stuff
want me to go back to themotherland, is what they're
(07:17):
telling me.
So I may be making a journey toScotland and the motherland and
see what happens there.
Um, but I also have these otherbooks because I love reading and
I don't always have necessarilya lot of time.
And these are mythology andfolklore books, basically about
(07:38):
Native Americans, Aztecs,Scottish, Egyptian, Japanese,
myth, and legends.
Um, but they're really shortstories, and so I can just pull
one of those books anywhere fromfive to thirty pages, and then I
set it down and I've done myreading for the day.
Um, sometimes it's just thesmall little things that we can
do um that make the biggestdifference to filling up our
(08:03):
cup, especially when things getoverwhelmed and how they are
right now, for me at least.
I'm very overwhelmed.
And so today I have my paints infront of me.
I have some tasty littlewatercolors here, some tasty
little brushes, and I'm gonna bemaking some art while I'm doing
(08:26):
my podcast.
I'm going to be talking about avariety of different things, but
back to the violence and theshooting here in America.
I I want to ask a simplequestion.
Does Charlie Kirk Kirk would hechange his mind today?
(08:50):
Seeing as Witchie is no longerwith us and he has been a victim
of gun violence.
Do you still feel the same wayabout the Second Amendment?
Shall we ask?
I'm going to use thesedivination rods, okay?
Because I cannot control thesethings.
And basically they are copper.
You just kind of hold them andyou ask some questions.
(09:13):
Okay?
So, hey, can you show me what ayes looks like?
Can you guys show me what a nolooks like?
Okay.
So that's our yes or no.
So if it crosses, it's a yes.
If it expands out, it's a no.
Okay.
So is my name Robin?
Do I go by Auntie Robin?
(09:37):
Okay.
Uh is my name Bob.
Okay.
So after the gun violence ofyesterday, does Charlie Kirk
change his mind on the SecondAmendment and does he support it
(09:59):
now?
Please note that that is a no.
So Charlie Kirk does not supportthe Second Amendment now that he
has been shot.
(10:21):
That is a Yes.
I do not support the SecondAmendment.
So Charlie Kirk does not supportthe Second Amendment now that he
has been unalived.
Correct.
Okay.
(10:42):
Thank you.
What is it going to take otherthan your own that it happens to
you?
What is it gonna take?
(11:02):
What is it gonna take beyond ithappening to you, America?
It's a question I'd like to askyou.
What is it going to take?
I'm asking my gun owners becausethis is really down to you.
And I understand the reason whyour founding fathers put that in
(11:31):
because they believed thattyranny can happen at any point
in time within life, and youshould be able to defend
yourself.
Things should not be banned.
But the thing also is that theydid not see the vast expanse of
(11:54):
the destruction that we have putupon ourselves.
We've done it to ourselves.
We created this.
They could not even fathom thenuclear bomb that we came up
with, the weapons of massdestruction that we have created
(12:18):
in this world.
They did not have an inkling oridea of any of that.
It is our responsibility ascitizens to ensure the safety of
our fellow countrymen.
(12:48):
It is up to us.
(13:43):
Sometimes you really do justneed to turn that beat around.
And I know that that seems likethe most awkward and weird,
bizarre thing to actually do,but honestly, when you are faced
with so much, and I do mean somuch tragedy and bullshit and
(14:07):
constant piling on of all thenegative crap.
You have to remember what it isin life that you're doing, and
sometimes you have to celebratelife.
And honestly, I'm challengingsome shamanic shaumatic
(14:31):
practices.
Yeah, I'm learning to talk.
Um I'm putting some of those tothe test because these are
really depressing times.
I don't know if you've gottenthat memo, but it's a shit show
out there, okay?
(14:53):
I think I've just proved that inmy opening.
Sometimes we gotta let it out.
We got to release all this angerand this frustration, and
sometimes just doing that is anact of singing, it's an act of
dancing, it's an act of creatingand and making art, okay?
(15:17):
Sometimes it's just these littlethings that make the world of
difference that you don't thinkmakes a world of difference.
But sometimes a golden vagina isgonna save the world.
Okay?
Sometimes a golden vagina willsave the world.
(15:38):
It may not be today, justletting you know.
But god damn.
Now, I'm changing the format alittle bit, if you haven't
noticed.
Um, I can't teach you guys tolove yourself.
There's there's no way that Ican.
(16:00):
I I love myself, but you'regonna have to love yourself, and
I can't make that happen foryou.
I can't wave my little magicdisco ball pen and say, you love
yourself.
Congratulations.
Okay, that's not how it works.
(16:22):
But the first thing that youhave to do is stop talking shit
about yourself.
It's the hardest thing.
It took me months to figure outhow to do that, and it was
repetition and repetition, andoh my dear God, I wanted to kill
somebody by the end of that timeperiod.
Because what I did is as soon asthat came out of my mouth and I
(16:47):
heard it, I had to say threethings positive about myself,
and I had to backtrack mycomment and turn it into a
positive, and then I had to saytwo more things on top of that
that are better.
Yeah, that got tiring after awhile because I talked a lot of
(17:10):
shit about myself that I didn'teven realize that I was doing.
And I think you do it too.
I think you'd be surprised.
I no longer can say I'm I can'teven I can't.
I can't, I can't say it.
I can't even say it anymore.
I can't say Oh god, I can't.
(17:33):
The words will not come out ofmy mouth anymore.
I it's too much.
It's too much.
But the thing is, is that stopit.
Just be nice to yourself.
Why can't you just be nice toyourself?
And that's that's the thing.
That's the thing that Irealized.
(17:53):
It isn't about forgivingeverybody else who like insulted
me or called me names or madefun of me when I was a kid, or
even as an adult, because it allstarted when I was four.
And what ended up happening is Iended up learning that if I make
(18:14):
fun of myself before they makefun of me, then they can't hurt
me because I'm doing it tomyself.
That was my logic.
How fucked up is that as a kid?
But but you know, it insulatedme.
And then I started gainingweight, and now I'm actually
(18:37):
loving myself and I'm actuallylosing weight.
It's so fucking bizarre.
So bizarre.
But today I am working on apainting for a friend because I
want to be a person whose wordis their bond, essentially.
(19:02):
And I have been, I told thisperson that I would make them a
piece of art, and I did makethem a piece of art.
I did, I did, I did.
But I made a piece of jewelryand I told them that I was gonna
make a painting, but I never gotaround to making the painting.
Well, I'm getting around to thepainting now, like four, three,
(19:27):
five, six years later, maybe.
And I'm starting to do that now.
And I'm actually enjoying it.
But you have to do stuff foryourself, and that is how you
(19:50):
enjoy life.
Because another thing that I Idoom-scrolled this morning is
how my millennial generation isdying off quicker than any other
generation.
It's kind of sad, but I get it,because the world she is not
kind out there.
(20:13):
We have basically gone fromCOVID, okay, in which we were
insulated from everybody, somuch death, so much despair, so
much destruction.
It it was horrible.
And I don't think that werealized how much that actually
(20:36):
probably fucked us up.
That was a traumatic experience,guys.
That was trauma.
Welcome to trauma.
The whole entire worldexperienced it.
The whole world experienced it.
(20:59):
And we were made to go back towork, at least in America, I
can't speak for the rest of theworld.
But we were made to go back towork as if nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
Millions of people didn't die,just die.
(21:19):
People didn't lose their theirbusinesses, people didn't like
lose their income, people didn'tlose their housing, people
didn't lose their livelihoods,their lives, and we were just
expected to just go back to workas if nothing happened.
(21:43):
And you wonder why we aren'tmentally doing okay right now?
Hmm Gee Maybe show some fuckingcompassion.
Maybe show some goddamn sympathyevery once in a while.
(22:03):
But there's only so much that wecan do.
Now, this painting that I amworking on is for a friend who
actually just started doing likeReiki healing and stuff like
(22:27):
that.
And so that's basically whereyou're learning about the chakra
systems within the body, andit's an amazing, amazing
healing.
They call it a massagetechnique, but I don't to me
it's really more of energy workthan it is necessarily of uh
(22:54):
massage.
So you're dealing more with theenergetic body system and making
sure that each one of thechakras from like the root, the
sacral, the solar plexus, theheart, the throat, the third
eye, and the crown, and each onehas a color representation, and
(23:16):
each one, you know, uhsymbolizes different things,
like our root chakra is like oursurvival mode, and that, my
friends, has been really taxedlately and is is a little little
tired, she's a little tired, ourroot chakra, because we have
been in survival mode for fartoo long, my friends.
(23:39):
Um, because pretty much all ofthis shit has started, I would
say, when I was in high schoolis when all this shit started.
And it's just gottenprogressively worse and worse
and worse.
You know, you needed that extrajob, now you need two, now you
(24:00):
need three, now you you almostneed like four.
It's like, guys, we can't keepdoing this to ourselves.
We can't.
There, there, there really is noway, reason, or behind doing
this.
But here we are doing it.
(24:22):
And I don't know who came upwith this idea, but I would
really like to have a talk withthem.
Because um, I don't like yourmemo.
I don't think the world likesyour memo.
And I would like to stop and getoff that train if I can.
(24:43):
Because this train is just gonnakeep on going until we fall off
the rails.
And I don't know about you, butI'd like to do that before we
fall off the rails.
If at all humanly possible.
unknown (25:04):
That would be great.
SPEAKER_00 (25:08):
Alright.
Well, as you can see, now I havea shiny glittering asshole.
And we've just started.
Alright.
I'm gonna let this dry here alittle bit.
And I'm just gonna tell you, itis small things that add up over
(25:28):
time that bring us joy.
And maybe the revolutionary actin all of this from the violence
of yesterday is to actually livein our joy.
And maybe we need to do thatmore.
So grab yourself a fucking bookand start reading.
(25:59):
Grab yourself some pen and paperand start drawing.
Take to the camera.
Take to just take to thehairbrush.
Take it to the brush if you wantto.
And just sing it out,motherfuckers.
unknown (26:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (26:22):
Sing it out.
Maybe you need to dance it out.
That's what I'm gonna do today.
I'm gonna dance some shit out.
So be prepared, my friends.
Be prepared.
And if you think it's cringe, it100% is.
It 100% is cringe.
(26:44):
And you want to know something?
Cringe is where you find yourartistry.
Cringe is where artistry comesfrom.
It is through the cringe thatyou end up finding yourself.
You find your heart, you findyour soul, you find that little
(27:05):
piece of happiness that somebodycannot take away.
And it is there, there, that youfind happiness and doing
something for yourself.
Our capitalist out-of-controloligarchy political
situationship doesn't give ashit about your feelings.
(27:25):
It never will.
So you have to take control ofthat.
And that is what I amencouraging you to do today.
Take control of your ownmotherfucking happiness.
And if that includes making afucking glittery yellow asshole,
then that's what it does.
(27:46):
Shine that asshole.
Just shine it.
Cause right now all I gotta sayis carry on my wayward song.
There'll be peace when you aredone.
Lay your weary head to restdon't you cry no more Ow So here
(28:16):
I am at fifty three, watchingthe world burn and trying to
have a little fun.
That really doesn't make anysense But does anything make
sense?
I figure what the fuck?
What could go wrong?
I enjoy myself a little bitwhile the world is kind of
(28:39):
crashing around me.
I think we could all use alittle fun.
Let's schedule some fun.
But do I remember how to havefun?
Do I remember what joy lookslike?
Do I remember what happiness is?
What is happiness?
(29:00):
Do you know what that is?
It's been a long time since I'veseen that, so I'm hoping you
guys can help me out with whatthat looks like.
But you can't thrive when you'rejust surviving.
And I I don't know about therest of the world, but in
America right now, we are justsurviving.
(29:24):
We're just surviving to get by.
And that is, unfortunately,guys, by design, they're doing
that on purpose.
Because if we do not thrive,then we can't fight them because
we're just trying to survive andget by.
(29:46):
So we're not really going tocomplain too much if we aren't
thriving.
Whereas if we're thriving, wehave more to lose.
So we'll end up fighting morefor those things.
(30:07):
Shit.
Did I just come up with arevolution?
Is a revolution to have fun?
Kick it.
Oh God.
(30:31):
But maybe it is to have morefun.
Because if you think about it,like I remember seeing a video
of one of the protests in DC,and there was a row of like
Proud Boys, a row of cops, andthen other protesters.
And the thing is, is that thingswere getting tense.
I mean, like, there they wasabout ready to we're ready to
(30:56):
bust knuckles at some point herebecause they kept getting closer
and closer and closer.
And you want to know whatsomebody did?
They pulled out a fucking minituba and started playing.
Everything changed.
(31:17):
Lighted the fuck up.
They were both dancing then atthat point.
They were just like, oh yeah, ohyeah.
Get the Jamma, get the Jamma.
Maybe this is the revolutionthat we're looking for.
It seems really popped.
But maybe we're supposed to havefun.
(31:37):
Maybe we're supposed to find joyand happiness and caring within
our communities and within ourfriend groups.
And if you don't feel like youhave a friend group, then ask
yourself if you're beingauthentically you to those
people.
And if you're not beingauthentically you towards those
(32:00):
people, or they're not beingauthentically them towards you,
then maybe they weren't yourfriends in the first place.
Because not everybody on thisplanet is supposed to like you.
I know that that sounds likebear with me here.
Not everyone on the planet issupposed to like you.
(32:27):
I'm just throwing that one outthere.
I don't think everybody realizesthat.
That not everyone is going tolike you.
And it's okay.
It is okay that people do notlike you because they are
probably not your people tobegin with in the first place.
(32:48):
The people who will get you aregonna get you.
And the people who aren't, thenyou have to figure out am I in
the wrong place?
Maybe I need to move somewhereelse to find my people.
And I'm not in the right placeto find those connections that
(33:08):
connect with me.
But you have to give upsomething, you have to give up
that old location, you gottagive up that old life.
I have given up family, I havegiven up my marriage, I have
(33:29):
given up my house to findmyself.
And I'm realizing now that afterdoing all of that, that Oklahoma
may not be where I need to beright now.
That I need I may need to besomewhere else.
(33:52):
I don't know where that is.
Maybe it's Scotland, maybe it'sEdinburgh, maybe it's somewhere
else in the United States, maybeit's in a different country.
But you have to figure that outfor you.
But just remember, it's gonnacost you your old life in order
(34:14):
to get a new one, and you've gotto be willing to sacrifice all
of that for that reason, andthat's why a lot of people don't
do this, they don't go throughall of this to have a new life,
but I'm becoming somethingdifferent, and I don't know what
(34:38):
exactly it is that I ambecoming, but if you have
watched or heard my podcast fromnine months ago to now, it's
vastly different.
I'm actually having some funnow.
I'm actually finding someenjoyment in this.
I'm not dreading it as much.
(34:59):
I'm actually enjoying coming onhere and shooting the shit with
you like this because I'm doingthe things that I love to do,
and my the things that I love todo are all around me.
All around me.
And art can be done anywhere inany different form.
(35:25):
It doesn't have to be drawing,it doesn't have to be
photography, it it doesn't haveto be painting, it could be
singing, it could be dancing, itcould be skateboarding, it could
be playing a sport, it could beanything that you want it to be.
That you find genuine joy in,and that's what I'm encouraging
(35:48):
you to please find.
Please find your joy.
I'm begging you, it's time tofind your joy.
We've had enough of thebullshit.
Find your fucking joy and findit right now.
I'm please find your joy.
(36:16):
Because we need playtime asadults.
And I don't think that we'verealized that.
Well, I know I haven't realizedthat until now, is that adults
need playtime too.
We need to go play.
Have you played?
Maybe you should.
(36:38):
Go play with your kids.
Go climb on that jungle gym.
Act like a complete fuckingidiot.
Go swing on that swing set.
Do it.
Do it for you.
Don't do it for your kids.
If they want to join, then fine,they can join.
But do something specificallyfor you.
(37:31):
Now I don't know what's gonnahappen next.
I really truly don't.
Let me get my paint brush herebefore it ruins my corpse.
But as we're all becoming, whydon't you just come with me?
(37:53):
And we'll be in a world of pureimagination and it will defy
expectations.
Now, I kind of thought that thispodcast was actually for you to
(38:16):
teach you how to love yourself,but I'm kind of realizing now I
don't think that's the case.
I think it's more about metrying to love myself and trying
to show you what that lookslike.
It doesn't make any sense to meeither, but we're gonna go with
(38:40):
that.
I mean, sometimes you just needto slow down your life and and
remember to just enjoy yourself.
Cause we have to have figure outwhat's what's worth fighting for
right now.
(39:01):
It's it it's it's not worthfighting for gun rights right
now.
It's not worth fighting for Ifeel like I'm just fighting for
the right to live and to livehappily.
That's that's what I feel likethe right is what I'm fighting
for right now.
(39:23):
And maybe if each one of us isfighting for our right to be
happy, maybe that oh wow.
That is kind of a revolution,isn't it?
Well shit.
Alright, everybody.
Come on, let's get happy.
(39:43):
Come on, let's partridge familythis shit.
Come on, world, it's a song thatwas singin'.
Come on, get happy.
But claim and choose your art,your dance, your song.
Claim it because this is what itsounds like.
(40:56):
It sounds like freedom.
That's what that sounds like tome.
Is that maybe by choosing thefun, choosing the best way to
live, and to be the best personthat you can be in the now that
that's what to be the bestversion of us that we can be.
(41:21):
And that isn't gonna happen.
Being depressed, having anxiety,feeling the weight of the entire
world on us.
In fact, it's really more aboutfilling our cup and finding our
joy, and that is the revolutionthat we need to take place,
(41:42):
okay?
I think I've said that enoughthis episode.
But as a kid and during thisclass, I realized that my
parents um kind of scared theshit out of me at one point in
(42:03):
time because as a kid I couldwatch TV in my bed.
So I I could kind of see the TV,but I could mostly hear it.
And I could kind of make outwhat it was on the TV, um, but
not always, because it justdepended on the angle and the
light and the way everythingreflected on whether or not I
(42:27):
could see the actual TV, but Icould definitely hear it.
And one night I was watching,they were watching one flew over
at the cuckoo's nest, and I'mjust like, oh, hey, yeah, that
was a lot.
I probably shouldn't have beensitting there watching that, but
I did.
And then like a couple weekslater, they told me that I
(42:50):
needed to shut the fuck up aboutum about my past lives, and that
if I don't watch my mouth, thatuh somehow somebody is going to
take it the wrong way, and thatthey're going to put me into an
insane asylum.
Now, they did not directlythreaten me with that of sending
(43:12):
me to the insane asylum, butthat is what I took as a kid.
Okay.
I took that as a threat againstme and that they were going to
do this.
It scared the shit out of me.
Now, also at the time, I askedif I could go talk to a Native
(43:39):
American medicine person.
Because that was the question Iasked.
And that was the response I got.
But the reason why I asked tosee a Native American medicine
person is because the NativeAmericans believe that people
who could talk to theirancestors, who remembered their
(44:02):
past lives, were actually veryspiritual people and needed
extra care and extra sense, theywere extra sensitive, and that
they needed to be nurtured alittle bit more in order to
develop those gifts.
And they considered them gifts,as opposed to my parents, which
(44:23):
they thought acted and treatedme more like it was a curse.
So I've had to unpack all ofthat in the past three years,
and it was a lot.
It's a lot to have to unpack.
But seriously, it was terrifyingbeing told that my parents
(44:52):
wanted to throw me into insane.
That that did a number on me.
More than what they thought.
(45:22):
In fact, I should have juststuck with Conan the Barbarian.
My dad loved Conan theBarbarian, and every time it was
on, he would watch that.
So what would end up happeningis that I would end up watching
it through the through thehallway there.
(45:42):
And he would hear me giggling.
And once my mom went to bed,he's just like, just get out
here.
So I would sit there and watchSaturday Night Live with my dad.
Um, we watched Conan theBarbarian when it was on TV, so
(46:03):
it was heavily edited forcontent.
I trust me on that one.
That's why when we actuallyrented the DVD one time, and all
of a sudden there's Arnold ishaving sex with some witch woman
in her hut with this fire goingon, and then there's the entire
(46:25):
sex pit orgy scene.
I'm just like, what the fuck isthis?
Where did this come from?
Like, deja vu here.
I'm like, what movie is this?
I don't remember any of thishappening.
And it kind of got me thinking,like, if you look at like, talk
(46:47):
about edited for content.
If you look at your Bible, andplease take your time, go find
your Bible, count how many pagesare in it.
I really want you to do this,okay?
So take your Bible, see how manypages are in it.
I want you to then look up theTrump Bible, and I know that
that is only the New Testament.
(47:09):
Okay.
Um, take a look at that NewTestament.
Look at the page count on thatshit.
Okay.
Then look at the page count onyour New Testament.
Now I want you to find a Biblefrom 1920s or earlier.
I want you to look up the pagecount on that.
(47:32):
Because you want to knowsomething?
Those Bibles, they are fick.
Fick.
Those Bibles are fake.
And I like even mine from the80s is smaller than that.
And then you look at like theTrump Bible, and it's like, I'm
like, that is not the same, myfriends.
(47:56):
You have taken some shit out.
Okay?
These are not the same.
And this is where I think a lotof people have a problem with
religion.
Bear with me here, because Ithink religion is great.
Honestly, I am a full supporterof religion as long as you are
(48:18):
following it and it makes youthe best version of you that you
can be.
If it is not making the bestversion of you, then you might
want to reconsider it.
That's all I'm saying.
All I'm saying.
Just think about that.
But there is a vast differencebetween yesteryear's Bible and
(48:44):
today's Bible.
And this is where I have a lotof problems with the Christian
faith, is because it has beenedited and pared down, and I
don't like this part, so I'mgoing to take that out.
And then it just doesn't exist,and I can say that this is what
really honestly what it means.
(49:04):
But I took out the part thatcounterdicts that.
This is where we are at rightnow is fine-tuning a religion, a
religious text that should justbe.
(49:25):
It should just be what it is.
Okay, and God's word camethrough them and was written
out.
Now, mediums can do the exactsame thing with your spirit
(49:51):
guides and your ancestors.
Sometimes there's, I don't know,some people consider them
angels.
There's angels, there's spiritguides, there's many different
things that you can talk andcommune to, but you can write
this stuff down.
And this is kind of in part ofthe process of what I'm I'm
(50:13):
learning to do right now istrying to figure out were these
really prophets of God?
I kind of wonder that.
(50:39):
Well, actually.
What is the question that I'masking?
Were those who wrote the humansthat wrote the Bible, were they
(51:02):
doing basically being likemediums and divine
interpretation?
Was that directly from God?
Was that directly from angels?
And the angels instructed humanson what to write?
(51:30):
Was this for purposes of Sorry,I'm just trying to figure out
how to phrase this.
Was this for purposes of guidingus to be better human beings?
(51:51):
Or are all religions guides tobeing better human beings?
Okay, not all religions.
Okay.
Is Christianity let's just getspecific.
Is Christianity US evangelicalChristianity here to try and
(52:12):
better human beings?
That's all.
They just want us to be betterhuman beings.
It it has nothing to do withDoes it have anything to do with
God?
Is this more of an instructionmanual on is the Bible more of
(52:34):
an instruction manual on how tobe a better human being?
Is it to show God's will?
Well fuck me.
(52:56):
I was not expecting that one.
I am generally surprised rightnow.
I'm sorry, I I I did not planthis one out.
Uh the this is to me.
(53:18):
I I'm I'm kind of dumbfoundedthat the Bible is really just to
learn how to be a better humanbeing Just a craft.
Okay.
It has nothing to do about God'swill.
(53:42):
Just to be a better human being.
Alright guys, you heard it herefirst.
The Bible is here to be a betterhuman being.
That's what God wants for us.
Does God want us to be justbetter human beings?
Does he want us to hate on eachother?
(54:06):
So maybe we should stop that.
You heard it here first, guys.
You heard it here first.
So anyway, check out your Bible.
Check out how many pages it has.
Because you will be surprised bythe flukeness of the old Bibles
(54:29):
compared to the new.
It is huge.
So these new interpretations arejust kind of tweaking things.
So let's twerk some things,shall we?
(55:27):
Just keeping on working.
Just picking out some pines.
Trying to find the right color.
Cause that's what we love it.
He let color.
We like to feel it.
We like to see it.
(55:48):
So now as a kid, I was givenlike the wildest imagination.
I mean, I came up with some ofthe wildest shit when I was a
kid.
And like drawing it out, puttingit out, it was so much fun.
But it was also kind offrustrating because as a kid, I
(56:12):
wanted to make these things thatI was given all these ideas.
And I'm just kind of like, howcan I do this?
And I didn't know how to dothis.
And but now I realize, well, Iwas just a kid.
I didn't have the money, theresources, um, or really,
honestly, anyone to believe meon any of these ideas.
(56:35):
And it kind of got stuck, it gotstifled.
And I had to work through all ofthat, like mentally over the
past three years.
This is some of the shit that Ihave been working on getting rid
of in this little old noggin ofmine.
But I kind of felt likehonestly, I was in spiritual
(56:59):
witness protection program.
It's just kind of like, oh, wecan't have you shine too
brightly on that.
Let's dim it down just a littlebit.
Like, oh, nope, nope, nope,nope, nope, nope.
You like acting?
You're really pretty good at it,kid, but nope, nope, nope, nope,
nope, not right now.
Not right now.
Oh, you like you like fashion,you like, you like how you look?
(57:22):
Okay, yeah.
No, no, we're just gonna havepeople make fun of you right
now.
Okay, okay, okay.
And that was my life growing upas a kid.
So I've had to literally workthrough all of this bullshit
that has been piling up in myhead that other people have put
in there, okay?
And also I have put in there.
(57:43):
And I've had to clear that out.
But going through that andhaving as many dark nights of
the soul as I have had has beena lot.
Okay.
Now, you can be a phoenix risingfrom the ashes, but it doesn't
(58:03):
necessarily make it any easier.
Okay, it just doesn't.
Oh, that's a pretty color.
Um, I like that.
But even being a phoenix risingfrom the ashes and working
through those dark nights of thesoul, what it really comes down
(58:26):
to is guilt and shame.
And how you get guilt and shameis basically from your seven
deadly sins, your greed.
So what you are hanging on to,what what is your what is it
(58:48):
that you're trying to hoard,essentially, or your envy and
jealousy, okay?
Um, and social media loves theseven deadly sins.
I mean, it really just bringsall of that out because you're
jealous of other people's lives,you're jealous of what other
(59:08):
people are doing, um, itshowcases your greed sometimes.
It showcases either how muchyou're not taking care of
yourself or how much you aretaking care of yourself, you
know, which would basically besloth.
Um greed is the need ofpossessing things, um, gluttony
(59:32):
taking things basically to theextreme is basically what I
think gluttony is.
And then like lust basicallycraving pleasure.
Now, I I I know that I'm sayingthat we should have fun.
It that doesn't necessarily meana hedonistic experience right
now.
I'm not I'm not even endorsingthat.
(59:53):
But but if you oh good for you.
I wish you the best.
Let's not take it to thoseextremes.
Okay, let's not just completelygo in the other direction here.
Because we need to be led morewith our hearts and not
(01:00:15):
necessarily our logic on this.
No that that sounds reallyweird, but follow me along.
When you are following more ofyour heart, you're a little bit
more forgiving, compassionate,and caring towards other people,
but really what you need is tohave compassion and care and
(01:00:38):
giving for yourself.
Because when you're dealing withyour shadows, your sins, if you
will, and basically to a largerextent, I guess it's really more
of your guilt and shame.
You have to forgive yourself andlet that guilt and shame go, is
(01:01:01):
what it comes down to.
Because that is where the dangeris, is when you fall into
victimhood.
And honey, I am not in myvillain era because I am holding
up a mirror, you know, sayingshiny green asshole.
(01:01:24):
Uh what I'm really saying is isthat just because I'm being a
mirror to you, and you're seeingthat I'm advocating for fun in
(01:01:53):
the midst of the downfall of theUnited States, that I am being
in my villain era, but I am notbeing in my villain era because
villains rely on victimhood.
(01:02:13):
No, honey, I am in my savageera, okay?
Savage.
Because I have so many fucks togive that I have extra.
Okay?
So I am giving forth my fucks.
(01:02:35):
Are you ready for that?
I don't think you are.
I don't think anybody is.
But I care too much abouteverything, and that that kind
of is my problem.
I care too much, honestly, andthat is not a weakness.
That is not something to ever becalled weak for.
(01:03:00):
Because I've been in through thedarkest parts of me, and I still
found love there.
Even in the dark parts, and youcan do that too, but you've got
to go through it, and Irecommend completely going
through it because it is not fungoing partway through and then
(01:03:23):
being stuck.
You've got to continue, you'vegot to move forward, you've got
to push, not too hard, mind you,but you do got to push yourself
out of that fear of whateveryour fear is.
(01:03:44):
Mine is a little bit ofrejection, but also a little bit
of success.
What if I find those things?
What if that what if everythingworks out for me?
I'm just becoming right now.
I I'm still trying to figuremyself out and where I am in the
whole scheme of things withinthe world.
(01:04:06):
Okay.
I'm still trying to figure thatout.
I don't know if I will everfigure it out.
I hope I do.
But if I don't, that is alsookay.
But what it ultimately comesdown to is that these times they
are dark.
(01:04:27):
And sometimes you need to be thelittlest little light.
And that is what I am.
I am just a teeny tiny littlelight that you guys have been
trying to blow out for like 53years.
I'm not going away anytime realsoon.
(01:04:55):
And somebody who bronze sobright does not should not burn
out twice as fast.
And I can prove that to you, andwill prove that to you with my
life the way it becomes fromhere on out.
You are gonna see what the fuck.
(01:05:19):
I'm not joking.
You're gonna ask yourself, howin the fuck did she do this?
Because I don't know how thefuck I am doing this.
I really truly don't.
But come along for the journey,come along for the ride because
she's gonna be interesting, ifnothing else.
She is going to be interesting.
(01:05:40):
So don't fit into a box, havesome fucking fun, and get out
there and enjoy yourmotherfucking life.
Okay.
I'll see you next time.
But one more thing.
Drop the needle.
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