The traps we set for ourselves are often the hardest to escape. This episode of the Self Realized: Shatter Your Limits Podcast, "Avoidance Won't Save You: Transforming Fear into Action" cuts straight to the heart of what holds most of us back from living authentically—our tendency to run from what scares us while calling it safety.
Join me, Linton Bergsen, as I share a raw, personal story about facing an end-of-life decision for a loved one, revealing how avoidance prolonged suffering for everyone involved.
This powerful example illuminates a universal truth: the price of avoidance is not only measured in missed opportunities, but also in precious moments lost forever, extended heartache, and diminished growth. Fear disguises itself cleverly—as procrastination, as logical reasoning to wait, as protective measures—while actually shrinking your life
Through practical exercises and actionable insights, this episode offers a road map for transformation. Write down what you're avoiding on one side of the page, and on the other side, convert your fears into specific actions. Take one small step within twenty-four-hours. These aren't just suggestions; they're keys to unlocking a life where fear becomes fuel rather than an obstacle. The most liberating realization? You don't need grand gestures or perfect courage—just consistent micro-actions that gradually expand your comfort zone and build unshakable self-trust.
Ready to step into the arena where life has been waiting for you? This episode won't just inspire you—it will equip you with tools to prove to yourself that you're stronger than the fears you've been hiding behind. Because the truth is, greatness isn't reserved for the fearless; it's revealed in those who act despite their fear. What small action will you take today?
Please subscribe to the podcast, leave a rating and review, and visit selfrealized.com for more resources including my five-star Amazon reviewed book "Purposeful Vision." Your journey to becoming truly self-realized begins with one consistent step today.
Let me know your thoughts on this episode. Text me your feedback! 🙂
Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Self-Realized Podcast with
Linton Bergsen, where you willshatter your limits.
I am not much into theself-help industry as much as
I'm into the self-realizedindividual, which is you.
What matters most to you, howyou get there and the obstacles
that may be in your way.
If you would like to be part ofthis podcast and part of that
(00:22):
discussion, I welcome you herewith an open heart, open mind
and open arms.
So, without further ado, let'sget on with the podcast.
Today we are diving into a truththat most people, I would
(00:46):
suggest to you, spend theirentire lives running from, which
is the title of today's episode.
Avoidance Won't Save you,Transforming Fear into Action.
In fact, avoidance is a trapthat keeps you stuck, locking
yourself in fear while callingit safety.
(01:08):
Fear can come in many ways intoyour life, disguised in your
own self-talk, for example.
You may say to yourself Ireally don't want to deal with
this right now, I will deal withit later.
Fear can come into your lifedressed up as procrastination.
(01:32):
It can also come into your lifedisguised as logic telling you
that to wait is wise, when, intruth, to avoid is to shrink who
you are and live your life in avery small way when, in fact,
you need to live your life andyou want to live your life in a
(01:54):
very big, expansive way, in thetrue expression of who you are.
A unlimited spirit withunlimited potential and with the
ability to experienceeverything that you choose to at
the highest level, every singleday.
(02:15):
If that is something that youwould like to experience and
something you would like to do,then this episode is for you.
If you have ever felt that pullinside, the dream that you
won't chase the conversation youwon't have, the action you keep
postponing because you'reafraid of what it might cost you
(02:36):
, maybe financially, maybeemotionally.
Today we are going to exposeavoidance for what it truly is,
and I'm going to give you tools,stories and exercises so by the
end of this episode, you willknow how to take avoidance and
fear and transform them intoaction.
(03:08):
So take a deep breath, becausethis might just be the episode
that changes everything in yourlife for you.
Let me begin with a story inreference to my own life.
Just recently, I dealt with asituation of the passing of a
loved one.
Now, in that particularsituation, there was a point
where we had to decide whetherto resuscitate the individual or
(03:33):
not.
Because of the need to makethat decision, because of where
they were in their transition.
The conversation was beingavoided by family members, but
it wasn't helping the individualthat needed to make the
transition and it wasn't helpingthe family.
(03:55):
So I decided to not avoid theconversation anymore and to have
a decision made which turnedout to be best for everyone,
including the individual thatwas making the transition,
because prolonging theinevitable was not helping
(04:16):
anything.
Things had declined to acertain point where it had
become more self-evident thatresuscitation was not something
that could continue on anongoing basis.
But nonetheless, when theconversation was had between
family members and myself,letting go of the fear of losing
(04:42):
someone, how we would feel,what would happen, and just
embracing the situation for whatit was, which is a natural
transition of life, we were ableto come to a decision that was
thoughtful, kind and appropriate.
(05:11):
Addressing the situation helpedus to release it in a
compassionate and loving way.
Avoidance and fear were notallowing us to not only let that
person and individual go in aloving, compassionate way with
the least amount of discomfort,but also allow us to move on in
(05:32):
our own lives so we couldembrace the situation
compassionately and loving forourselves and for the individual
involved.
Avoidance is never neutral.
It doesn't keep you safe.
The example I gave you.
It was draining the spirit ofthe people who were around the
(05:54):
individual who needed to passand also it wasn't helping the
spirit of the person who neededto move on.
The price of avoidance is notjust measured in money.
It's measured in moments.
It's measured in time.
It's measured in situationsthat you'll never get back.
It's lost time, lost potential,prolonged heartache and pain in
(06:20):
different situations, whetherthey can be personal or
professional, that you just needto move on from and stop
avoiding making the decisionsthat will, in fact, set you free
and let go of the fear that'stelling you false stories about
what could happen if you chooseto grow.
(06:41):
I've used the acronym for fearin different episodes.
I will use it again in today'sepisode.
Fear is false evidenceappearing real.
You may have heard that beforefrom other people.
Avoidance won't save you fromtransforming fear into action,
(07:02):
because sooner or latertransformation is going to come
to you, because nothing remainsthe same, no matter how long you
try to avoid anything.
Here's a suggestion I'm going togive you that you can use when
you're not listening to thepodcast.
Write down one area of yourlife where you have been
(07:28):
avoiding action.
Don't put a filter on it anddon't try to judge it.
Just write it down.
Is it that you'd like to startsomething new?
Is it a hard conversation thatyou're avoiding?
Is it finally choosing yourhealth instead of an unhealthy
lifestyle?
Put it on the page.
The act of naming it is thefirst step for you to reclaim
(07:54):
your own power.
Awareness, self-awareness as Ihave mentioned in many different
episodes, is the very firststep to you reclaiming and
owning your own power.
Avoidance always feels justified.
(08:14):
We tell ourselves we're notready or that conditions aren't
quite right.
But beneath all of thosesurface stories I would suggest
to you, there is always fearFear of rejection, fear of
failure, fear of being seen forwho you truly are, which is your
(08:39):
most precious gift, your true,authentic, unique self.
But here's a truth that I'velearnt in my own life that I
would love to share with you.
Fear lives in imagination, andthe way to overcome fear and
transform it is by action.
(09:00):
Avoidance feeds on energy.
It only grows stronger the moreattention you give it, just
like anything else.
The more you focus on it, thestronger it becomes.
I'm sure you are going to relateto this.
Have you ever had your billscome in the mail and you put
them aside and you say you'regoing to get to them, knowing
(09:24):
that you're avoiding openingthem because obviously you have
to pay them and it's not yourfavorite thing to do?
But it doesn't mean, becauseyou left them on the desk and
avoided paying them for a moment, that they're going anywhere.
The only thing that ishappening is the due date is
coming closer and you may haveto pay a penalty, so you're not
(09:45):
helping yourself.
The bills aren't going anywhere, and that's the story of our
lives.
If we put things off and wedon't want to address them,
there is a due date on them andyou're going to pay a penalty
for avoiding them too long,letting fear control you and not
taking action to address itbefore the due date arrives.
(10:08):
And, as you know, the furtherpast the due date you go, the
greater the penalty.
When you have time and you'renot listening to this episode, I
want you to think of somethingthat you've really been avoiding
, really think of it deeply, andI want you to close your eyes
(10:32):
for about 30 seconds and imaginefor a moment the absolute worst
case scenario that could happen.
Really feel it.
Then open your eyes and askyourself this question.
Would I survive this 99 timesout of 100, the answer is yes.
(10:56):
Contemplate on this for amoment.
Avoidance masquerades as safety.
You may think if I don't stepinto that arena, there's no way
(11:17):
I can lose.
But by staying outside of thearena, you have already lost the
chance to win.
Let me give you an example ofthat.
I was working with anorganization in all my years of
organizational development, withsomeone who avoided applying
for a promotion.
She told me she wanted to waituntil she was more experienced,
(11:41):
more confident.
In the meantime, her co-workerapplied and got the job she was
perfect for.
Her avoidance spared her fromthe fear of rejection, but
sentenced her to regret instead.
Which would you rather carry,the sting of a short-lived
(12:06):
rejection or the lifelong weightof regret?
Let's talk about flipping fearinto fuel.
The key is not to get rid offear, but know how to use it.
Fear, like anything else, is anenergy.
It can be raw and it can beuntamed.
(12:28):
You want to know how to channelit into action instead of
paralysis.
When you are free and have sometime, grab a piece of paper.
Split it in half.
On the left hand side, writewhat I fear.
(12:49):
On the right-hand side, writewhat action this fear is
pointing me toward.
For example, fear, speak up inmeetings.
Action, raising my hand once aweek.
Transforming fear into action.
(13:10):
Physical action happens themoment you take the smallest
step forward, even when yourknees are shaking.
Think of a time when you mayhave done something that was
uncomfortable.
Your heart may be pounding,your hands may be trembling.
That's fear, but it's alsoadrenaline.
(13:32):
The same rush that terrifiesyou is also the fuel that moves
you.
Don't push it down, use it.
One of the biggest lies we tellourselves, I would suggest, is
the belief that we have to leaphuge distances all at once.
(13:53):
No, you don't.
Fear will shrink when exposedto consistent micro-actions.
You build faith in yourself andovercome fear one small step at
a time, like you do anything.
(14:14):
Methodically, persistently andconsistently.
One small step at a time.
I'll give you an exercise thatyou can do when you have a few
moments.
Write down one action you cantake in the next 24 hours to
(14:34):
face what you've been avoiding.
Not next week, not somedaytoday.
Send the email, make the call,start the draft, walk into the
room with the person that you'vebeen avoiding.
Take one action.
That is how avoidance begins todie, through consistent,
(15:01):
imperfect movement that leadsyou to the place you would like
to go.
It doesn't have to be perfect,it can be imperfect, but be
consistent and things will beginto unfold in a way that you
hadn't thought possible, becauseyou have realized for yourself
(15:27):
avoidance won't save you and youare transforming your fear into
action.
For example, a simple thing youcan do is if you want to start
exercising and you've beenavoiding it for some time and
the idea of getting into shapeis overwhelming for you, then
(15:49):
just simplify your workoutroutine to 10 minutes of daily
walking t o start.
You may even have a fear ofbeing stiff, being tired, not
feeling so good after you workout.
Well, a small 10-minute walkwill begin to dissipate that
fear as you begin to realize howgood you feel and the benefits
(16:14):
of just doing the 10 minutes aday.
Three months from now, you willbe totally transformed, because
you stepped through what it isyou're trying to avoid and any
fear you might have of how youmight feel by simply starting
something for just 10 minutes aday.
(16:37):
Here is an important thought tocontemplate for a moment.
Avoidance can rob you of yourauthenticity.
When you run from things thatscare you, you deny yourself the
story of resilience and thecourage that you build in
(16:57):
yourself, and also the couragethat could inspire others.
When you don't avoid things,when you overcome fear, you do
affect the circle of influencearound you, and you never know
who you could be an inspirationto.
So let's remember this.
Avoidance won't save you, notfrom fear, not from failure, and
(17:25):
certainly not from the call ofyour own potential.
But when you transform fearinto action, you step into the
arena where life was alwayswaiting for you to act.
You have a choice right now.
(17:46):
Keep circling in your own fearor break the cycle with one
action today.
That's all it takes.
Big change doesn't come from biggrand gestures.
It comes from refusing to avoidwhat matters most to you, which
(18:07):
is the title of the very firstepisode of this podcast.
What Matters Most to You.
If today's episode stirredsomething in you, commit to this
.
Within the next 24 hours, takeone step into what you have been
(18:28):
avoiding.
Prove to yourself that you arestronger than the fear you have
been hiding behind.
Remember this greatness isn'tjust reserved for the fearless.
It's revealed in those who actin spite of fear.
(18:48):
Avoidance may have shaped youryesterday, but it does not have
to define your tomorrow.
The power for you to move, thepower for you to transform your
life, lives in you today, rightnow.
You were born with a biggerpurpose than your fears.
(19:11):
Stand tall, take charge andremember this.
Avoidance won't save you.
Transforming fear into actionwill.
I sincerely appreciate youlistening to the podcast.
Please subscribe so you do notmiss any upcoming episodes.
(19:32):
Whatever platform you're on,please leave a rating and review
.
I would greatly appreciate it.
Any additional information onme, Linton Bergsen and my five
star reviewed book, PurposefulVision, is available at
selfrealized.
com which is all one word.
You can also leave any commentsor suggestions on the website.
I look forward to connectingwith you very soon and take good
(19:54):
care of yourself.
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