How To Win The Game of Life: Mindset & Success

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Linton Bergsen (00:00):
Welcome to the self-realized podcast with
Linton Bergsen, where you willshatter your limits.
I'm not much into the self-helpindustry, as much as I'm into
the self-realized individual,which is you, what matters most
to you, how you get there, andthe obstacles that may be in
your way.
If you would like to be part ofthis podcast and part of that

(00:22):
discussion, I welcome you herewith an open heart, open mind,
and open arms.
So , without further adu, let'sget on with the podcast.
Take a breath and imagine this.

(00:46):
You wake up tomorrow morningand realize that the game of
life you've been playing isrigged.
Not by some dark conspiracy outthere, but by the quiet rules
inside your own mind.
Rules you never consciouslyagree to.

(01:06):
Rules like I only matter if Iam achieving.
I will only be happy when Ifinally get there.
Other people get to win.
I just get to survive.
Today that ends.
In this episode, you are goingto rewrite the rules.

(01:30):
You are going to remember thatyou are not just a piece on the
board.
You are the one who chooses howyou play.
This is episode number 121.
How to win the game of life,mindset and success.
You are here because some partof you is tired of chasing,

(01:56):
tired of pretending, and readyto live a life that actually
feels like a win on the inside,not just the scoreboard outside.
So if you are ready to stopplaying small, to stop playing
by the rules that were neveryours, and to step into your own

(02:18):
power that you have beencarrying all along.
Stay with this, take one moredeep breath, and let's begin.
Let us take a look at whatwinning really means.
You know when people hear winthe game of life, they usually

(02:39):
picture the highlight reel.
The house, the car, the career,the partner, the followers, the
bank balance.
There is nothing wrong with anyof that.
But here is the uncomfortablequestion.
If the outside looks like awin, but the inside feels like a

(03:01):
loss, did you really win?
Let's start with a story.
There was a man who dideverything right.
He ticked every box, thedegree, the respectable job, the
nice neighborhood, thevacations where he took
pictures, mostly so other peoplecould see them.

(03:24):
From the outside, he lookedlike he was absolutely crushing
the game.
But inside he felt like he wasbeing crushed by it.
On his commute home, he wouldsit in traffic, gripping the
steering wheel, and think, ifthis is winning, why do I feel

(03:48):
so empty?
One evening, his young daughterasked him, Daddy, why are you
always so tired when you arewinning?
That question hit him harderthan any deadline, any
performance review, any critic.
Because she was right.

(04:08):
He had been chasing someoneelse's scoreboard.
So let's make this practicalfor you.
Let us do an exercise now whereyou can look at your own inner
scoreboard.
If you can, grab a notebook orthe notes app on your phone.
If you're driving, just do thisin your mind and come back to

(04:32):
it later.
Rate yourself from 1 to 10 ineach of these areas, with 1
being I feel like I'm losing,and 10 being I feel deeply
aligned and alive.
Let's start out with peace.
How peaceful do you feel today?
Purpose.

(04:54):
How connected do you feel tosomething meaningful in your
life?
Energy.
How alive, how energized andpresent do you feel?
Connection.
How real and honest are yourclosest relationships?

(05:15):
Now look at those numbers.
You may be doing great in some,you may feel like you're losing
in others.
But this is your truescoreboard, not your salary, not
your follower count, not thesize of your home or your bank
balance.
If the inner scoreboard islosing, it does not matter how

(05:39):
many trophies you stack on theshelf.
Winning the game of life beginsby daring to tell the truth
about where you stand.
Not to beat yourself up, but tofinally give yourself a chance
to play a different game.
However, contemplate on thisfor a moment.

(06:00):
You cannot play a differentgame if you don't understand the
hidden rules running your life.
Every game has rules.
Chess has rules.
Soccer has rules.
Even a children's board gamehas rules printed right there on
the box.
However, in the game of lifemost people are playing, those

(06:27):
rules are really written down.
They're absorbed, inherited,and imprinted in our childhood
and then into our subconsciousas habits, therefore recurring
patterns of behavior.
Maybe you heard real men don'tcry.

(06:50):
Nice girls don't make waves.
Money doesn't grow on trees.
You have to work twice as hardto be worth half as much.
Over time, these messages don'tsound just like suggestions.
They begin to start to soundlike laws.

(07:12):
Here is a story.
A woman grows up in a housewhere her parents constantly
fought about money.
The phrase she heard over andover was, We can't afford that.
Money is always our problem.
No one sat her down and said,Your rule in life is that money

(07:35):
equals stress and conflict.
But that is the message sheabsorbed.
Fast forward twenty years.
She is doing well in hercareer, she is finally making
more money than her parents everdid, but every time she starts
to get ahead, she unconsciouslyfinds a way to sabotage it.

(07:59):
Overspending, giving away hertime for free.
Why?
Because one of her hiddenrules, playing in her
subconscious, in her mind, sayshaving money means having
conflict.
Safety is found in lack.

(08:20):
Until she sees the rule, shecan never change the game.
Here is something that I willgive you to help you discover
your hidden rules.
If you can write, do this now.
If not, listen and revisitlater.
At the top of the page, writethe rules I've been playing by.

(08:46):
Without censoring, write downthree to five rules you may have
absorbed.
They often start with I must, Ican't, people like me don't.
If I do X, then Y will happen.
Let me give you some examplesof that.

(09:07):
I must never disappoint anyone.
I cannot risk failing inpublic.
People like me don't becometruly wealthy or free.
For each rule, ask yourself twoquestions.
Where did I learn this?
Is this actually true for menow?

(09:30):
Then for each one, write a newrule that supports the life you
actually want.
For example, old rule, I mustnever disappoint anyone.
New rule, I honor others, but Iwill not abandon myself.

(09:51):
Old rule, people like me don'tbecome truly wealthy.
New rule, my past does notlimit what I can create now.
You are not trying to lie toyourself.
You are choosing consciousrules instead of unconscious

(10:15):
ones coming from oldsubconscious programming.
The moment you see a rule, youare no longer blindly obeying
it.
You are starting to step intothe role you are always meant to
play.
The author of your own game andbook of life.

(10:37):
You write the chapters that youwant to read about your life on
an ongoing daily basis.
So when you review your book oflife chapter by chapter, you
would have written the rules foreach one.
That is how to win the game oflife, mindset and success.

(11:03):
Mindset shifts that game.
Let's move into the heart ofthis.
The mindset shifts that turnthe board around.
We will explore three today.
As you listen, notice which onelands the hardest.

(11:24):
That's usually the one thatyour life is asking you to pay
the most attention to right now.
Shift number one from victim ofthe game to player with agency.
A victim mindset sounds likelife is happening to me.

(11:47):
I don't have any choice.
A player mindset says lifebrings situations.
I always have a choice in how Irespond, what I believe, and
what I choose to do next.
Let me share a story with you.

(12:08):
There was a man who felt likelife was always against him.
If traffic was bad, it was justmy luck.
If a relationship ended, it wasproof that no one stayed.
If a job didn't work out, itwas the universe shutting me

(12:28):
down.
One day, after yet anotherdisappointment, he sat on his
couch and had thisself-realization.
Something painful andliberating.
Every story he told himselfended with, see, I am powerless.

(12:51):
He wasn't just living hiscircumstances, he was living his
conclusions.
Sometimes we do that.
We reach a conclusion before wehave run the experiment to see
what we are truly capable of.
So he decided to try a radicalexperiment.

(13:16):
For thirty days, every timesomething went wrong, he would
ask one question.
If I were a powerful player inthis moment, what would I do
next?
Not how do I fix everything?
Just what is my next powerfulmove?

(13:39):
Sometimes the move was to set aboundary.
Sometimes it was to restinstead of just numbing out.
Sometimes it was to finallyspeak the truth in a
relationship.
His life didn't transformovernight.

(14:00):
But over time the game changed.
Not because the board changed,but because the player did.
Your turn.
Think of one situation in yourlife right now where you feel
powerless.
Maybe it's money, maybe it is arelationship, maybe it is your

(14:25):
own habits.
Ask yourself out loud if youcan.
If I were a powerful playerhere, what would my next move
be?
Not the perfect move, not thedramatic movie scene move, just

(14:46):
the next honest, courageousmove.
Because it does take courage.
That is where your true powerlives.
Let us take a look now at shiftnumber two.
How to win the game of life.
Not just for short termcomfort, but for long term

(15:12):
alignment.
The game of life loves to offeryou short term comfort at the
price of long term regret.
Scroll instead of create, numbinstead of feel, say yes instead
of setting a boundary.
Short term you get relief.

(15:35):
Long term, you feel smaller andmore disconnected from who you
really are.
Imagine two paths.
On the first path, every timeyou feel uncomfortable, you
reach for something that soothesbut shrinks you.
On the second path, every timeyou feel uncomfortable, you

(16:00):
pause, breath and ask.
What would be aligned with thelife I say I want?
Let me share a story with you.
A woman wanted to start sharingher voice, writing, creating,
speaking.
Every evening after work shefelt the nudge.

(16:24):
Just give it twenty minutes.
And every evening she felt thewhisper.
Just watch something instead.
You'll start tomorrow.
She wasn't lazy, she wasprotecting herself from the
vulnerability of being seen.
One evening she made a dealwith herself.

(16:47):
I can still watch something,but first I owe myself fifteen
minutes of aligned action.
Most nights, fifteen minutesbecame thirty.
Sometimes it stayed ten, butthe point wasn't perfection.
The point was direction.

(17:09):
Taking what I love to callaligned action gives you
direction, purpose, and outcome.
Six months later her lifelooked different.
Not because of one bigdecision, but because of dozens
of small aligned choices.

(17:32):
You don't have to take bigsteps to start seeing results in
the direction that you wouldlike to take.
Here is an exercise I suggestyou can use, and it will help
you move in the direction thatyou would like to go.
I refer to it as the microexercise, the comfort swap.

(17:57):
Name one pattern of short-termcomfort you use to avoid
discomfort.
Scrolling, snacking,over committing, binge watching.
Now name one simple long-termaligned action you can take

(18:18):
instead, just for ten or fifteenminutes.
Writing, planning, moving yourbody, having the honest
conversation that you may havebeen avoiding with someone.
For the next seven days, whenthe urge for comfort arises,
just once per day, choose thealigned action first, even for a

(18:44):
few minutes.
You're not trying to erasecomfort, you are training your
nervous system to see that youcan survive discomfort in
service of a life that feelslike a win.
Shift number three is reallyabout you owning who you are,

(19:06):
from proving your worth toexpressing who you are.
Many people are not living,they are auditioning, trying to
prove they are enough,successful enough, spiritual
enough, impressive enough, thatis exhausting, and it is a game

(19:29):
that you can never fully winbecause the goalposts always
move.
I was coaching a creator calledJohn, who spent many years
trying to make things that wouldimpress everyone family,
friends, peers, strangers on theinternet.

(19:51):
He felt like he was constantlyrehearsing a version of himself
he hoped people would clap for.
One day, burnt out and numb, hesat in silence and asked a
different question.
If there was no one to impress,what would I create?

(20:14):
Who would I be?
The answer surprised him.
He wanted to create things thattold the truth.
He wanted to work with peoplehe genuinely liked.
He wanted to live a life thatfelt honest when no one was
looking.

(20:35):
Slowly his work shifted.
It became an expression of whohe was becoming, not a
performance designed to earnapproval.
That was the moment he stoppedplaying to the crowd and started
playing his own game.

(20:57):
Contemplate on this for amoment.
If I wasn't trying to proveanything to anyone, not even to
myself, what would winning looklike for me?
Let the answer be simple.
It might be about freedom,peace, creativity, love,

(21:23):
contribution.
Write it down if you can.
That is a glimpse of your truegame.
The question how to win thegame of life is by you building
your daily win the game of lifepractice.

(21:45):
Big insights without dailypractice become beautiful ideas
that never touch your life.
Winning the game of life is notabout one huge breakthrough.
It is about the way you live inthe ordinary moments.

(22:07):
Here is a simple dailyframework I'm going to give you
that you can use and adapt it toyour world.
In the morning, set the tonethat you would like the day to
begin with and continue with.

(22:53):
Before you touch your phone, give yourself just 5 minutes. Sit, breath, and ask, what kind of player do I choose to be today. Choose one quality. Courage, curiosity, kindness, focus, honesty, joy. Thenask, what is one aligned move I
could make today that my futureself will thank me for?
Write it down.
One move, not ten.
This is your daily win move.
As you move through the day,make conscious choices.

(23:18):
Be self-aware and notice as thelittle choice points arrive in
your life.
Say what you mean or staysilent.
Don't scroll on the internetmindlessly.
Instead, take one alignedaction toward your goal.

(23:41):
React from old rules or respondfrom your new ones.
When you catch a choice point,ask, is this choice moving me
forward toward my game or awayfrom it?
You may not always choose thealigned action, but that's okay.

(24:05):
The win is in noticing andchoosing differently more often.
In the evening, take a momentand review, like a compassionate
coach, at night before bed.
Just take three minutes and askyourself, where did I act from

(24:32):
fear today?
Where did I act from truthtoday?
What did I learn about my rulesand my power?
You are not here to judgeyourself.
You are here to compassionatelycoach yourself.

(24:53):
Over weeks and months, thissimple rhythm rewires your
relationship with life.
You begin to feel less like apassenger and more like a
conscious player.
We both know that life is notperfect, and you are going to

(25:13):
handle setbacks and losses.
Even when you play well, youwill lose some rounds.
Relationships end, plans fallapart, money gets tight, health
scares arise.
Losing a round doesn't mean youare losing the game.

(25:33):
Think of a time in your lifewhen something didn't work out.
At one time it felt like theend of the world.
Then, years later, you couldsee how it shaped you, that
chapter of your life, that bookthat you are writing, as I

(25:53):
mentioned earlier.
It made you stronger, clearer,and deeper.
At the time it was a loss.
In hindsight, it was training.
Here is an exercise I wouldlike to give you.
I suggest that you use it forreframing loss.

(26:15):
Bring to mind one experienceyou still label a failure,
mistake, or loss.
Ask yourself, what did thisexperience teach me about
myself?
What skill or strength did itforce me to develop?

(26:36):
How has it made me more capableof winning my game now?
If you can, write a newsentence about that event,
starting with, because thishappened, I am now able to.
You are not denying the pain,you are reclaiming your power.

(27:00):
In the game of life, experienceis your greatest asset if you
are willing to learn from itinstead of labeling yourself
with it.
Take a breath with this.
You came into this episode witha lifetime of rules that you

(27:24):
did not choose, stories that youhave been living inside of,
scoreboards that may never havebeen yours.
Yet you are still here, stilllistening, still willing to ask,
is there more to me than this?

(27:45):
That willingness alone ispower.
Today you have looked honestlyat your inner scoreboard,
exposed some of the hidden rulesthat have been running your
life, stepped inside mindsetshifts that move you from victim

(28:09):
to player, from comfort toalignment, from proving to
expressing.
And you have been given asimple daily framework to
practice winning, not in somedistant future, but in the small
choices you make every day.

(28:30):
Here is the truth.
You are not behind, you arecertainly not broken, you are
not late to your own life.
You are exactly where your nextpowerful choice can be made.
So here is your invitation,your call to action.
Do the exercises.

(28:53):
Just don't think about them.
Write down your hidden rules.
Rewrite them.
Create your inner scoreboard.
Design your daily win the gamepractice.
Even ten honest minutes todaycan begin a different future for

(29:13):
you.
Choose one powerful move beforethis day ends.
Ask, what is one move my futureself will thank me for?
Then do it.
Send the message, start theproject, set the boundary, rest
intentionally instead of numbingout.

(29:35):
Make one move that says, I amplaying my game now.
Share this episode with oneperson.
You know someone who isexhausted from playing the wrong
game, someone who looks likethey're winning but feels like
they are losing.
Send this to them and say,listen to this, you are not

(29:59):
alone.
Your game can change.
And if this spoke to you, ifsomething in you woke up, even
just a little bit, make sure youfollow, subscribe, rate, and
review the show.
Not for vanity metrics, but sothat this can work and reach

(30:22):
more people who are ready toremember who they are and why
they are really here.
As you step back into your day,remember.
You are not just a piece on theboard.
You are the player, you are therule maker, you are the one who

(30:43):
decides what winning means inthe only place it truly matters.
Inside your own heart.
Thank you for walking thispath, for daring to look within,
for being willing to play adifferent game.
Until next time, live awake,live aligned, and keep

(31:07):
shattering the limits that werenever really yours.
I sincerely appreciate youlistening to the podcast.
Please subscribe so you do notmiss any upcoming episodes.
Whatever platform you're on,please leave a rating and
review.
I would greatly appreciate it.
Any additional information onme, Linton Bergsen, and my five

(31:28):
star review book, PurposefulVision, is available at
selfrealized.com, which is allone word.
You can also leave any commentsor suggestions on the website.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Burden

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}How To Win The Game of Life: Mindset & Success

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Burden

All Episodes

How To Win The Game of Life: Mindset & Success

Stuff You Should Know