What does true loyalty mean in your life? Standing at the crossroads of commitment, we face a profound question: Is your loyalty lifting you up or quietly breaking you down? Join me Linton Bergsen on the Self Realized, Shatter Your Limits Podcast as I explore the answer to this question with you.
Loyalty, much like fire, holds transformative power – it can warm your home or burn it to the ground. Through powerful personal stories and practical wisdom, this episode reveals the crucial distinction between loyalties that feed your soul and those that slowly drain your spirit. You'll hear about a man who gave 20 years to a company that left him exhausted and unappreciated, and a personal account of a friendship that required boundaries to preserve authenticity.
The "Loyalty Ledger" exercise offers a practical framework to evaluate your commitments with radical honesty. By creating a simple two-column assessment of where your loyalty lies and what you get in return, you'll gain clarity about which relationships and obligations truly serve your growth. This awareness becomes the foundation for transformation.
True loyalty isn't blind devotion but conscious commitment to what's authentic and alive within you. The episode challenges the notion that loyalty requires self-sacrifice, offering instead a powerful alternative: "Loyalty to someone else can never come at the cost of disloyalty to yourself."
Through examining real-life examples of both constructive loyalty that builds character and destructive loyalty that keeps you small, you'll learn to recognize when staying represents strength versus fear, and when leaving might be freedom rather than betrayal.
Take the challenge this week: complete your own Loyalty Ledger and ask the difficult questions about what truly serves the life you're called to live. Remember, this journey isn't asking you to betray others – it's asking you to stop betraying yourself. Stay loyal to your truth, and you'll never lose.
Please subscribe to the podcast, leave a rating and review, and visit selfrealized.com for more resources including my five-star Amazon reviewed book "Purposeful Vision." Your journey to becoming truly self-realized begins with one consistent step today.
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Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Self-Realized Podcast with
Linton Bergsen, where you willshatter your limits.
I am not much into theself-help industry as much as
I'm into the self-realizedindividual, which is you, what
matters most to you, how you getthere and the obstacles that
may be in your way.
If you would like to be part ofthis podcast and part of that
(00:22):
discussion, I welcome you herewith an open heart, open mind
and open arms.
So, without further ado, let'sget on with the podcast.
Today, you may be standing atone of the most defining
(00:46):
crossroads of your humanexperience the crossroad of
loyalty.
Today's episode number 115,Loyalty's Crossroads: Will It
Make OrLoyalty, when it's aligned,
becomes your anchor, yourfoundation and your strength.
(01:09):
However, when it is misplaced,it can chain you to pain,
mediocrity and evenself-betrayal.
Here's the question I wouldlike for you to contemplate
today.
Is your loyalty lifting you oris it breaking you?
By the time you have finishedlistening to this episode, you
(01:33):
will know how to distinguishbetween the loyalty that makes
you and the loyalty that breaksyou.
You will not only see thecrossroads, you will know which
direction leads to freedom.
Think of loyalty not as anabstract idea, but as a living
(01:54):
force, much like fire.
Fire can warm a home, but itcan also burn it to the ground.
I remember a man that wasworking within an organization
that I was helping withorganizational development.
He mentioned to me that he hadbeen loyal to this company for
(02:15):
20 years.
He gave them everything hisevenings, his holidays and even
his health.
He wore loyalty as a badge ofhonor, but underneath he was
exhausted, broken, unseen andcertainly not appreciated.
Loyalty chained him tostagnation because he never
(02:40):
asked the deeper, more profoundquestion is this loyalty feeding
my soul, my spirit, or starvingit?
I would like to give you anexercise that will help you to
differentiate the difference.
It is a reflection exercise.
(03:01):
You can do it when you're notlistening to the episode.
I call it the Loyalty Ledger.
Close your eyes and take a deepbreath.
Imagine a ledger that has twocolumns.
In the first column, write downwhere your loyalty currently
goes.
People, jobs, commitments,beliefs, habits.
(03:26):
Don't filter, just list.
In the second column, writewhat each loyalty gives back to
you.
Energy, growth, freedom, or isit just taking from you?
Look at the ledger with radicalhonesty, and I say radical
(03:51):
because we have to be veryhonest with ourselves.
Some loyalties are empoweringand expand you.
Others are contracts that yousigned long ago that no longer
serve you.
The first step is awareness.
(04:13):
Become self-aware of where youare.
That is always the first stepto making any transformation in
your life from where you are towhere you would like to be.
Let me take you a little deeperwith a personal story.
Years ago I had a dear friend.
Our bond ran deep, but overtime his path diverged into
(04:35):
choices that were destructive,choices I could no longer
support.
For years, my loyalty kept metethered to him, even while my
spirit whispered.
That inner voice spoke to meclearly this is costing you.
The breaking point came when Irealized loyalty doesn't mean
(04:59):
sacrificing who I am.
Loyalty without boundaries isnot virtue, it is
self-abandonment.
When I finally let go with loveand compassion, both of us grew
.
Loyalty to someone else cannever come at the cost of
(05:19):
disloyalty to yourself.
When you have time, I'm goingto give you an exercise now that
will allow you to commit to aninner contract with yourself.
Place your hand on your heart.
Say these words aloud.
Before I am loyal to anyoneelse, I pledge loyalty to myself
(05:46):
, to my values, to my truth, tomy becoming.
That is the pledge.
That is what you say toyourself.
When you say that, feel itdeeply, sit with how that feels.
It can be powerful andsometimes even frightening,
(06:11):
because it might mean facingloyalties that you must release,
but in that moment you reclaimyour own power, which is what
the self-realized individual isalways aiming towards.
Their target is their ownself-inner power, through their
(06:35):
own self-realization of whatthey need to move themselves
forward when they have done thereflection and have become very
self-aware of thetransformations they need to
make in their life.
Let's talk a little bit nowabout the dual face of loyalty.
(06:56):
Loyalty has two faces.
Constructive loyalty buildscharacter, deepens trust and
supports growth for you, and theother, destructive loyalty,
keeps you small, afraid ordependent.
The crossroads appears whenlife asks.
(07:18):
Do you stay where you are outof obligation or fear, or do you
choose truth, even if it costsapproval?
That crossroads isn't justabout external loyalty.
It's about whether you're loyalto your higher self, that still
(07:42):
small voice, the intuition thatis calling you, or do you
choose to stay living in yourfear.
Let me share a story with youabout an individual that I knew,
that was working within afamily business that I was
(08:02):
trying to help, and thisparticular story gives you some
insight on how guilt plays intoloyalty.
This individual had worked atthe family-owned business for 15
years.
The loyalty ran deep becausethe family gave this individual
(08:24):
their first shot, their firstpaycheck, when no one else would
.
But as the years passed, theydecided they had bigger dreams
and every time the opportunityto step away presented itself,
feelings of guilt always pullthem back into the business.
(08:51):
One day they asked themselvesif I stay here out of loyalty,
am I honoring them or am Ibetraying the vision inside of
me?
That single question shiftedeverything.
They left, started the venturethey'd always dreamed of, and
today they honor theirfamily-owned business that gave
(09:14):
them their first opportunity,with gratitude, not
self-sacrifice.
True loyalty does not keep youtrapped.
It inspires you to rise.
Contemplate on this for amoment what is the cost of
misplaced loyalty?
(09:36):
Misplaced loyalty is expensive.
It costs years, energy, health,dreams.
Many people only face thistruth at the end of a chapter,
when regret burns heavier thanthe loyalty itself, the real
(09:57):
challenge choosing to shiftwhile you still have time, I ask
you with compassion whichloyalty in your life is holding
you hostage and are you braveenough to face it?
(10:18):
Today, let's redefine loyalty.
At its highest expression.
Loyalty is not blind.
It is very conscious.
It's loyalty to what's true,what's alive, what's authentic
to you.
When you stand at yourcrossroads, know this.
(10:40):
Staying can be strength or itcan be fear.
Leaving can be betrayal or itcan be freedom.
The difference lies in whetheryou are betraying yourself in
the process.
So today we've walked throughthe crossroads of loyalty.
(11:04):
We've seen how it can forgecourage, deepen love and anchor
your life, or how it can drainyou, trap you and quietly
destroy your spirit.
The decision isn't easy, andthis crossroads tests us all.
But But here's the truth.
(11:31):
The greatest loyalty you'llever uphold is the loyalty to
your own becoming and your ownself-realization of what is
important to you, withoutbetraying yourself.
Every other loyalty must alignitself with that or it will
break you.
My challenge to you this weekis simple but profound Do the
(11:55):
Loyalty LLintonedger, put it alldown, see where your loyalties
lie.
Then ask does this serve thelife I'm called to live?
Remember this life isn't askingyou to betray others.
It is asking you to stopbetraying yourself.
Stay loyal to your truth andyou'll never lose.
(12:20):
I am Linton Bergsen.
Thank you for taking the timeto listen to today's episode.
Until we meet again on thispodcast, live awake, live
aligned and live loyal towhatever sets you free.
I sincerely appreciate youlistening to the podcast.
(12:41):
Please subscribe so you do notmiss any upcoming episodes.
Whatever platform you're on,please leave a rating and review
.
I would greatly appreciate it.
Any additional information onme, Linton Bergsen, and my
five-star reviewed book,Purposeful Vision is available
at selfrealized.
com which is all one word.
(13:02):
You can also leave any commentsor suggestions on the website.
I look forward to connectingwith you very soon and take good
care of yourself.
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