Selfed 62: The Nervous System is a Solar System

Yesterday’s therapy session gave hard language to my atomic living framework I’m operating from with us closing out our sessions on navigating the shaping of my identity through the end of my most recent relationship.

In this episode I process my most recent therapy session which came the day after a solid 30 minute joyful cry listening to Alicia Keys - Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart” which felt like an arrival for me. I recognize I’ve been hiding my joy in an overly humble way to mask my confidence to not be taken for arrogance because truly my life despite the first half of the year, become exactly what I saw for myself.

I’m in a book, I’m speaking at colleges, I’m traveling, I’m living polyamorously, taking dance classes, and focusing on being, and I’m happy. I cried initially because I had that “why couldn’t I have this with her?” Moment but my therapist got me to be real about the fact that I wouldn’t have had this with her.

I’ve concluded for myself there’s nothing I could’ve done to save my ex or the relationship. She came in metaphorically as a lesson to strip away aspects of myself I identified with: fixer, being liked by everyone, and always saying and doing the “right” thing.

So here’s me doin my thang and getting back in rhythm.