Selfed 69: The Law of Reciprocity - Givin' & Gettin'

In this episode of Selfed, I set out to talk about sex and ended up reflecting on reciprocity. Through the lens of the 69 position, I explore how life is a dance of giving and getting, of learning to balance energies that often feel off, especially after grief, loss, and transition.

I share the aftermath of a breakup that shook the ground beneath me literally and figuratively. From moving across the country three times, losing my home in a tornado, to letting go of a community I once gave to and received from, I’m coming to terms with the cost of identity in spaces that were never truly mine. I draw parallels between corporate spaces and sex education circles where shared language isn’t enough when shared identity takes priority.

This is a vulnerable reflection on longing, misrecognition, and the truth that not everyone reciprocates. I name the discomfort of realizing some people I thought were friends weren’t, and the truth that if folks wanted to hear my side, they would have asked by now.

So here I am, 69-ing with life. Givin’. Gettin’. Learning. Trusting myself to do my own thing. Choosing spaces where reciprocity and accountability are the baseline, not the exception.