May 22, 2024 • 24 mins
In this reflective episode, the host delves into the transitions and realizations surrounding her final weeks as a 24-year-old. Amidst the hectic demands of grad school and escalating responsibilities at work, she shares an intimate catch-up on recent life challenges and the profound spiritual journey she’s navigating. As she approaches her 25th birthday, the discussion turns to the pressures of attaining societal milestones and the importance of aligning with God's purpose, emphasizing the value of spiritual fulfillment over worldly achievements.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sena (00:01):
Hey friend, welcome to send us space where cares, meets
light.
In husband.
More than a minute since I lasttalked to you guys.
I believe my last episode waspublished on March 30th.
That's what they up to goodFriday.
(00:21):
So I know we have good Fridayand Easter Monday.
an Easter Sunday.
So would that make Saturday likeEaster Saturday?
Anyways, very random thought,but.
I hope you have been keepingwell.
Spiritually physically,emotionally, mentally,
psychologically.
All the LEAs, you know, I hopeyou've been great.
(00:44):
On my end.
Life life go hectic.
You know, I feel like.
Life is one of those things wenever really, see.
Do's chaotic moments coming.
Your dad one day.
Arresting having fun.
And then the next day.
You realize that, oh, shoot.
The next month, the next fewmonths are going to be quite
(01:07):
intense and then you just haveto do, or you have to do to get
through them.
While not burning out.
I will say that I, I was quiteBentel.
These last.
Few weeks.
And.
While I have been.
Heads down with work withschool, everything was kind of
Dior on the same time.
(01:27):
Finals was, do you, uh, well, myfinals are mostly projects cause
of my final year of grad school.
So that was intense.
Just trying to get all thosethings out and then obviously
there's more responsibility atwork.
And so then, you know, Higherexpectations for everything, the
quality of your work, your levelof independence to, do the work
(01:48):
assigned to you and to also takeon.
More in also to assist those whoare new to the team.
So it's, it's been a lot, it'sbeen intense.
I've had many in factuncountable.
These were.
I was in the office till likenine.
or, I was working from home.
Quite.
(02:08):
Li, you know, even in to theearly morning hours of the next
day, and then just having to beup.
a few hours later and just kindof continue in that grind and
trying to balance that also withthe demands from grad school.
it has not been easy.
But there's one thing I'mgrateful for it stuck.
(02:28):
I have And he always helps me,you know, No matter how tough,
no matter how chaotic, no matterhow intense.
Things seem to get, I can alwaysrely on the fact that.
God's got me and he's going tohelp me through it.
Today's episode is mostly toserve as a form of catch-up kind
(02:49):
of just updating you on the,what.
Life has been like.
In the last, uh, few weeks,which I feel like I already did
already.
So I can kind of just end thisepisode here and call it a day.
Because it's.
Doesn't make as much lighter,you know?
The semester is over, um, thehard grind for the audit I was
doing.
(03:09):
And then some nonstop in thetransition process, for the new
project that I'm going to beworking on.
I have about four, four solidweeks.
Um, to kind of work, work onthings and have things in a good
place.
Cause I'm going to be out.
Um, the whole birthday week, nowork.
So while those things aretechnically not due until after
(03:31):
that time, I do have to get mystuff in, um, the week before so
that I can take my vacation.
And then when I come back, I'mrolling off on two.
another project.
I'm just trusting God to, tohelp me through it and to keep
giving me.
that, that wisdom and thatexcellence, that every time I
produce my work, there is alevel of quality.
(03:52):
And there was a level of depthand that, that.
That is talked about, and thatis not common in the delivery of
other people's work.
And so just always praying forthat.
Grace always praying for hishand and his finger upon my
life.
And, asking that.
Even through little things likedocuments that I submit that his
(04:12):
glory was.
So find a way to shine throughthat effortlessly because at the
end of the day, he is the onehelping me.
He is the one ultimately liftingme anyway.
And so he does ups to take allthe glory.
So, yeah.
would that have been said,let's, let's talk a little bit
more.
This is probably gonna just hit15 minutes, max.
So.
(04:32):
I don't know.
I feel like I always see that init.
It's never quite that.
So.
hold me to account on that.
So.
Um, Eight, what was I coming tosee you?
Okay.
Yes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
I'm literally living.
My last few weeks as a 24 yearold.
Well, they, most of my friendgroups.
(04:54):
I'm the only one who's yet toturn 25.
With the exception of.
People like sharks, shallow Tsharks.
Um, that's one of my really goodfriends.
She's like the baby of us all Soshe's quite far from 25.
But.
Within, um, most of my littlefriend groups within the broader
(05:14):
friend groups that I have, I'mthe one who was sort of.
Left to turn 25.
And I've been teasing.
Most of my friends.
And saying that they are pushing30, which is something that my
other friend who is just a yearyounger than me has been teasing
me about He's always saying,well, you're pushing 30.
So, with Kelsey Conwell andeveryone there just been saying,
(05:37):
oh my God, I can't believe youguys have literally crossed the
25 mark.
You you're pushing 30.
You know, and they've beensaying to me, June is not that
very far away.
It's, it's going to come quickerthan you think.
And lo and behold, it's May 22ndas I record this.
And.
My birthday is June 24th.
So you do the math.
It's just a little more than 30days the last six months of last
(06:01):
year was really me just freakingout about the fact that I was 10
and 25 and I felt like I didn'thave.
Anything to show for it.
and I think most of that kingfrom.
being a type a.
person and just being, highlycaloric.
(06:21):
The Lord has been working on mefio fio few of you basically
means more small in my Ghanian.
so the Lord has been working onme.
In that aspect and pruning andshaping me.
Into the personality that.
looks more and more like him.
But in handling that ambitiousside of me, that, from a very
young age, I've always taughtmyself to just be at a certain
(06:45):
point by the year 2024.
I served 20 15, 20 16.
My goal.
My plan was to have my PhD atthe end of 2024.
That was just one of the thingsthat I sat down.
I did the math.
I'm like, okay.
I'm in community college now.
If I can finish by this time Itransferred to a four year do
(07:08):
that.
You know, do a master's maybe,or go into, straight into a PhD
program.
I 2024, I should be done.
It's going to be glorious.
It's going to be awesome.
But here we are.
And as life would have it, Iwouldn't even have my masters
before 25.
I could have, I could have donethat, but I would have meant
(07:29):
taking some classes over thelast two years.
And.
I, I honestly didn't, I didn'teven have the mental bandwidth
to do that, not to togglefinancially.
And so instead of graduating,this may I have to graduate come
December.
So that's one.
You know, one semester later.
And obviously after I tend to NTfive, And so I feel like once I
(07:51):
turned 24 last year, and I kindof felt like the timeline that
it has sets.
For my academic life.
my professional career life wassort of no heading in the
direction that I thought itwould.
I felt like I hadn't achievedanything.
I felt like.
I was basically just not.
Day yet you.
(08:12):
I felt like I wasn't quite thereand I didn't know what it was
specifically.
I mean, I knew a few of thethings I click here, PhD and all
that, but.
I kind of still feel likesomething was majorly missing.
Like I was missing.
Some so off.
Take on the box to say that,okay, this is the big thing that
I did.
(08:32):
We fly 10 25.
I always wanted to write a book,be 5, 10 25 and have written.
but I'm just not confidentenough to, to publish them
because I feel like, well, whatif there was a mistake?
What if I have to study more toput this out?
What am I going to put this outthere?
And they come in disguise myselfand go, do you know what if,
what if, what if.
Whatever.
And so needless to say that bookis not going to see the light of
(08:55):
day.
Before my.
But the plan was to launch it onmy 25th by day.
But it's D it's just not goingto happen.
And that's okay.
Right.
But I just had all these dreamsfrom a very young age.
I've been that typical leader.
Always involved, always leadingsomething in school.
I just always finding myself inpositions where I make an impact
(09:20):
in positions where, you know, Iprimarily influence decisions
that are made.
I've always had that tenacity.
To be in setting rooms and tohave relationships with certain
people, AKA stakeholder.
Kind of, relationships.
And I think I'm definitely notgoing to make the 15 minute.
My, because what I actuallyplanned to talk about in this
(09:41):
episode is not what I'm talkingabout right now.
I plan to talk about the factthat.
I had missed a newsletter dayand it's a whole thing.
Enemy's probably going to be thenext episode, but I don't know
why the Lord is leading me inthis direction, because this was
not the plan at all.
When I sat down.
Anyway.
So as I was saying in the firstsix months, I'm tired at 10 24.
(10:03):
I was really in that place oftrying to assess my life and
reflect and kind of see.
What have you done with these 24years that God has given you?
Not just from the spiritual andministry angle.
Because I think.
That I was quite.
happy that I finally started tolet the Lord actually do through
(10:26):
me, what he has always wanted todo through me.
You know, I have started apodcast finally out to like
talking about it for five years.
has started Putting things inplace to get back into writing.
And do you know, I have studiedsetting up the website and
things like that.
And so things were, things werelooking quite good.
But on the career and theeconomic fronds, I was quite.
(10:47):
Honestly wallowing and thepolice have feeling not enough.
And the place of feeling like Ihad not done enough.
And.
I cannot make wise.
Of course there was the pointthat, okay.
I'm clearly not going to have myPhD before I attend 25.
And it's not even PAG.
They must've said the muscle'snot even happening.
So.
(11:07):
I had his bag.
Go happy.
And as you sit here.
it cussed it long ago.
It's not something that.
I even desire to do anymore.
And it's interesting becauseeven that's my desire to pursue
that degree had died down slowlyover the last.
(11:30):
Four years or so.
I was still.
putting myself throughunnecessary.
worry.
Because I had no achieve thatthing.
And it's like, okay, thatdoesn't even make sense if you
don't even want to do this thinganymore.
And why didn't I use sad thatyou have not accomplished it,
but you know, that.
That overachiever part of mejust likes to have.
(11:53):
These links to see, okay, I takethe box.
Okay.
I did this thing.
Okay.
I have this thing.
Okay.
I did this thing and, you know,look, look at what I
accomplished.
And it was slowly bringing me tothe point of realizing that.
I truly somehow feel and thinkthat.
My life is in my hands.
Oh, that's when God was.
Crypting the intricate detailsof my life.
(12:15):
Somehow I was dead and I wasbeing consulted.
On how I wanted each phase andeach seizing and each year of
that, like to go and how itshould look like.
But the reality of it is thatbefore I even knew myself, God
had already.
Planned everything.
And so in these last six months,As I have pushed my 25th bed,
(12:38):
they, I was telling my, my bigsays my cousin, Mimi, actually
just a few days ago that I feellike the Lord has been.
And I just realized I've beenthrowing your name out there.
Anyways.
I'll selling.
my baker says that.
I felt like in this last sixmonths, as I'm heading towards
my train to Fitbit, they, thatthe Lord has been showing me.
(13:02):
Each of the, memorable years ofmy life.
The mistakes that I made and thelessons that I should have taken
from those things that he'sreally just been opening my
eyes.
And I was sending her that Ifeel like I have grown and
matured so much.
In these last six months andit's just like, we it's, like, I
went to bed.
Dumb.
And then I just woke up the nextday, just filled with all this
(13:24):
wisdom and all these.
And I'm just like, oh my God.
Like.
I'm growing up, you know?
And.
I don't know about my fellow 20fivers.
You know, those are people whotend to any five.
I don't know about y'all, but.
up until these last few monthsof this year.
I have not felt my age.
(13:45):
I have felt much, much youngerthan my age.
It's like, okay, how am I 24?
How, how in God's name am Iabout to 10 25?
Like, it's something that I cannot believe with something that
I cannot process.
Like how was it coming soquickly?
Because to me, it feels like Ican barely even remember what I
was doing.
That 20.
I feel like there's still somuch to learn before that big
(14:05):
age of 25, but the Lord wasmaking me realize that he knew
what 25 years.
It's a grant.
It's it's huge.
You're older and all that.
But one Martez is not, that youattained your PhD all day.
Yeah.
Attained your master's beforethat age.
What matters is that.
You're actually finding yourpurpose.
(14:25):
Or that you have found yourpurpose by that time.
And I remember.
The someone by AGS that'sopposite.
So my way, he basically saidthat.
By the age of 25, you should beborn again.
You should be filled with theholy spirit.
You should know your peppers andyour assignments on this earth,
and you should have been done.
To walk in that.
And I think that they, I hadthat thing it's it's when, like
(14:48):
it began to really renew my mindof like, okay, so my 25, and
this is not that by force my 25,you need to kind of know the
direction and all those things,right.
But it kind of makes you realizethat some of the things that we
are choosing in life, actually,not that important is actually
much more important things.
There's a whole generation ofpeople that are waiting for me
(15:09):
to get up and do that, which theLord has told me to do.
There's a whole generation.
A whole group of people who arewaiting, crying.
Uh, who are going through thingsbecause I have no yet started to
walk in the dimension that theLord has called me to walk in.
Even at this age.
And so I began to think like,okay, PhD or they want to do it
(15:30):
anymore.
Izzy, we need a big deal.
Like, okay.
Maybe I don't have that gene jobyet.
And, you know, Even that genejob, it's not something that I
just had to jump into and I haveto go to stages.
I have to, to go through thestages to actually be equipped
for that gene job.
And I think that's one of thethings with our generation where
we are rushing and we arestruggling.
We want to get to the end of theline where we buy.
(15:53):
And my seat is but we don't wantto go through the stages.
I actually equips us to gettingto that point where we can have
the financial independence to beable to make some of those.
Purchases And codes that we sodesire.
We are so filled with the endgoal.
That we forget that there's aprocess that we have to go
through to get to that and go.
(16:13):
We are also filled with, oh myGod.
You know, for, for most guys,it's like, okay, by 30, I have
to get made and how to makemoney in all this.
And each day we are consumedwith the thought of, oh God,
give me a business.
I did, I'll make me a million.
Tomorrow, but like, no, I don'twork like that for some in mind.
But if we're going to be honestand realistic, that's not the
path for everybody.
(16:34):
And so as I'm approaching this20 foot bed, I'm going in with a
renewed mindset.
And I'm going in with the factthat, you know what I am, where
I am, because this is where itgoes.
So desires for me to be.
I strongly believe that I am inthe center of his will.
And, My desires.
Add that the mind desires, butultimately what matters is that?
(16:55):
I desire what the Lord desiresfor me.
just, last week when I wasdriving to you office, very
randomly.
The Holy Spirit said to me, theopinion and the desire of a
mature believer is irrelevantwhere the will of God.
Is Claire.
And I said, wait a minute now,what does that mean?
(17:17):
And again, in conversation withmy big SIS.
These past few days.
It began to become clear that.
The will of God.
Is for me to first seek hiskingdom is for me to fish cheese
upside.
The things of Him is for me tofirst desire and hunger for a
relationship with Him.
And not getting the mastersbefore 25 and not getting the
(17:40):
PhD before 25, if I could dothose things.
Yeah.
Great.
For those who have done it.
Great.
Awesome.
I said, Lou, you, I applaud you.
But that is not a part foreverybody.
And so I just want to, you know,speak to us.
Cause I knew that many peoplelistening to this.
Uh, around, you know, that, thatage or we are all kind of
feeling like we've notaccomplished things or we are
(18:00):
we're under achieving.
And I just want to bring you tothis point that.
Well, taking that educationboxes.
Great.
Well, To conduct Herriot booksis great.
What is greatest?
It's actually, you're standingwith the Lord.
And I'm not just talking aboutyou, like you born again and all
that.
Cause you can be born again.
But your mindset can still be ina very bad place.
(18:23):
That knee needs to be heavily.
Renewed and transformed.
And so my call to myself firstand then to you guys, is that.
Even as we cause some of thesemajor milestones in our lives,
even as we cross.
You know, the age of 25 as weapproach it as, as we push 30,
40, 50, whatever it isprimarily, our focus should
(18:47):
remain.
On seeking the kingdom Each daywe wake up and it's like, God,
what do you need me to do today?
Does this kryptonite desire thatI still love it.
I remember exactly where it is.
But he basically says that eachday, the Lord wakes me up to do
his rule.
He wakes me up to tell me what Ineed to accomplish for the day.
And so these days I wake up andI asked the Lord, Lord, what
(19:08):
did, what is it that I need todo in this day?
I know there's the routine Ihave to do schoolwork.
I have to, you know, do.
my, my work where But ultimatelyit's like, God, what do I
actually need to accomplish inthis day?
And once I began to kind ofrenew my mind in that way and
seeing that yes, while there areroutines that are set out for
each day, That you go to wherehe go to lectures, you do all
(19:31):
these things.
Ultimately.
What matters is that each day.
You're doing that, which theLord has specifically asked you
to.
And to some, it may look liketoday.
I want you to spend an hour inthe worship with me.
No speaking in tongues, Just sitin there.
Just.
Basking in my presence and justsinging to me.
(19:51):
To another, it may look like Iwant you to start spending five
minutes with me daily at thistime.
So I'm not, I may look like Iwant you to start waking up at
midnight.
Everyday praying to another.
It may be that I want you tojoin.
does Bible study group toanother.
It may look very different and,and I'll show what do you for me
personally?
What it has looked like for me.
(20:12):
In the second half of my 24th.
Is.
The steady of the word.
and I've slacked a little bit,but I'm getting back.
I wasn't in the Bible, in theedge Lynch and.
It was going very gray.
And then I had to take a littlebreak.
And then coming back now, theLord to me, your machine too
much.
You're rushing through my wet.
I don't want you to rush throughmy wet.
And I'm like, well, I do, I dowant to get through it.
(20:35):
And they, yeah, because I feellike I always start and I never
finished.
And if y'all calling me to studyyour word more, like how I want
to get a he's like, yeah, I wantyou to study it.
I don't want you to zoom throughit.
And so now.
What he's asking me to do is totake the next three years.
To study the wet.
And so for the next few years,even if I don't get that PhD,
(20:55):
which leaves me on is I ain'tdoing no PhD.
Um, You know, I am getting mymaster's degree by the end of
the year.
in the next two years, I'mlikely going to be promoted at
work.
those things?
I kind of asserting that.
Okay.
Work is still going to be goingon degrees with I've been back
since vacations would have beenattained, life would be going on
(21:17):
as a should.
Friends would be made.
You know, those little thingswould have been done.
But for the next few years, Iknow I have an assignment.
And then assignments is tosteady the word.
At top tier a day, there's likea three-year plan, a chapter a
day, whatever it takes to getthere.
And to not just steady itbecause it's an assignment, but
to steady it because I trulyhave a hunger.
(21:38):
To know God.
And because now instead ofchasing degrees and, you know,
career advancement.
No.
My mindset has changed.
My heart has been transformed tonow face a different direction,
the right direction.
When now I prioritize.
Seeking Fez, the kingdom of God.
And so friend, I pray for youtoday.
(21:59):
Quite understand or rememberhalf the things I said in this
episode and probably was allover the place.
It was never my intention toevening spew.
Any of these was, I said, I feellike I've even overshared in
this episode.
But I prayed for you today.
And my prayer is simple.
That you will come to a place.
Where you mature so much in theLord.
(22:22):
They your desires, youropinions, your own plans for
your life.
Become a relevance.
The moment he makes his wheelclear for you.
I pray for you that you willremain in the center of his will
for your life.
That you will seek first, thekingdom of God.
Because the word gives us anassurance that once we do that,
all other things, everythingelse that we need.
(22:43):
We'll be added onto us.
And I know that sometimes lifecan get tough sometimes for us
25 layers.
It may look like other peoplehave gone far beyond that,
because now you're beginning tolook at your classmates and all
that.
And you're kind of seeing howfar everyone else is going and
thinking.
God, this one is married.
This one had the baby.
this one that there is, and thisone did that.
(23:04):
This one is an influenza.
This one is going to Thailandand Dubai every three days.
But if you could just sit withyour solvent, sit with the Lord
and just study the word andbegin to dissect that, which
he's called you to do in yourown life.
And just kind of remove theglances that you have towards
other people.
I promise you.
(23:25):
That's going to be worth itbecause through that lens that
is focused solely on God.
And through that desire to justseek him and seek him alone, not
for the things that you wouldget.
But because you want to growthat, that relationship with
him.
I promise you, you're going tosee a change in your life and
that promise you.
All of these other things, thelack of a PhD, the lack of a
(23:48):
master's degree, the lack of ajob, that lack of a promotion.
All these things suddenly beginto become very little.
Because now you have caught adimension of God.
That shows you a fullness.
And the things that reallymatter in life.
I pray that you have blessed.
that you were a main light.
(24:09):
In this world of so muchdarkness.
And I hope to see you.
On the next one.
I love you.
Hey friend, welcome to send us space where cares, meets
light.
In husband.
More than a minute since I lasttalked to you guys.
I believe my last episode waspublished on March 30th.
That's what they up to goodFriday.
(00:21):
So I know we have good Fridayand Easter Monday.
an Easter Sunday.
So would that make Saturday likeEaster Saturday?
Anyways, very random thought,but.
I hope you have been keepingwell.
Spiritually physically,emotionally, mentally,
psychologically.
All the LEAs, you know, I hopeyou've been great.
(00:44):
On my end.
Life life go hectic.
You know, I feel like.
Life is one of those things wenever really, see.
Do's chaotic moments coming.
Your dad one day.
Arresting having fun.
And then the next day.
You realize that, oh, shoot.
The next month, the next fewmonths are going to be quite
(01:07):
intense and then you just haveto do, or you have to do to get
through them.
While not burning out.
I will say that I, I was quiteBentel.
These last.
Few weeks.
And.
While I have been.
Heads down with work withschool, everything was kind of
Dior on the same time.
(01:27):
Finals was, do you, uh, well, myfinals are mostly projects cause
of my final year of grad school.
So that was intense.
Just trying to get all thosethings out and then obviously
there's more responsibility atwork.
And so then, you know, Higherexpectations for everything, the
quality of your work, your levelof independence to, do the work
(01:48):
assigned to you and to also takeon.
More in also to assist those whoare new to the team.
So it's, it's been a lot, it'sbeen intense.
I've had many in factuncountable.
These were.
I was in the office till likenine.
or, I was working from home.
Quite.
(02:08):
Li, you know, even in to theearly morning hours of the next
day, and then just having to beup.
a few hours later and just kindof continue in that grind and
trying to balance that also withthe demands from grad school.
it has not been easy.
But there's one thing I'mgrateful for it stuck.
(02:28):
I have And he always helps me,you know, No matter how tough,
no matter how chaotic, no matterhow intense.
Things seem to get, I can alwaysrely on the fact that.
God's got me and he's going tohelp me through it.
Today's episode is mostly toserve as a form of catch-up kind
(02:49):
of just updating you on the,what.
Life has been like.
In the last, uh, few weeks,which I feel like I already did
already.
So I can kind of just end thisepisode here and call it a day.
Because it's.
Doesn't make as much lighter,you know?
The semester is over, um, thehard grind for the audit I was
doing.
(03:09):
And then some nonstop in thetransition process, for the new
project that I'm going to beworking on.
I have about four, four solidweeks.
Um, to kind of work, work onthings and have things in a good
place.
Cause I'm going to be out.
Um, the whole birthday week, nowork.
So while those things aretechnically not due until after
(03:31):
that time, I do have to get mystuff in, um, the week before so
that I can take my vacation.
And then when I come back, I'mrolling off on two.
another project.
I'm just trusting God to, tohelp me through it and to keep
giving me.
that, that wisdom and thatexcellence, that every time I
produce my work, there is alevel of quality.
(03:52):
And there was a level of depthand that, that.
That is talked about, and thatis not common in the delivery of
other people's work.
And so just always praying forthat.
Grace always praying for hishand and his finger upon my
life.
And, asking that.
Even through little things likedocuments that I submit that his
(04:12):
glory was.
So find a way to shine throughthat effortlessly because at the
end of the day, he is the onehelping me.
He is the one ultimately liftingme anyway.
And so he does ups to take allthe glory.
So, yeah.
would that have been said,let's, let's talk a little bit
more.
This is probably gonna just hit15 minutes, max.
So.
(04:32):
I don't know.
I feel like I always see that init.
It's never quite that.
So.
hold me to account on that.
So.
Um, Eight, what was I coming tosee you?
Okay.
Yes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
I'm literally living.
My last few weeks as a 24 yearold.
Well, they, most of my friendgroups.
(04:54):
I'm the only one who's yet toturn 25.
With the exception of.
People like sharks, shallow Tsharks.
Um, that's one of my really goodfriends.
She's like the baby of us all Soshe's quite far from 25.
But.
Within, um, most of my littlefriend groups within the broader
(05:14):
friend groups that I have, I'mthe one who was sort of.
Left to turn 25.
And I've been teasing.
Most of my friends.
And saying that they are pushing30, which is something that my
other friend who is just a yearyounger than me has been teasing
me about He's always saying,well, you're pushing 30.
So, with Kelsey Conwell andeveryone there just been saying,
(05:37):
oh my God, I can't believe youguys have literally crossed the
25 mark.
You you're pushing 30.
You know, and they've beensaying to me, June is not that
very far away.
It's, it's going to come quickerthan you think.
And lo and behold, it's May 22ndas I record this.
And.
My birthday is June 24th.
So you do the math.
It's just a little more than 30days the last six months of last
(06:01):
year was really me just freakingout about the fact that I was 10
and 25 and I felt like I didn'thave.
Anything to show for it.
and I think most of that kingfrom.
being a type a.
person and just being, highlycaloric.
(06:21):
The Lord has been working on mefio fio few of you basically
means more small in my Ghanian.
so the Lord has been working onme.
In that aspect and pruning andshaping me.
Into the personality that.
looks more and more like him.
But in handling that ambitiousside of me, that, from a very
young age, I've always taughtmyself to just be at a certain
(06:45):
point by the year 2024.
I served 20 15, 20 16.
My goal.
My plan was to have my PhD atthe end of 2024.
That was just one of the thingsthat I sat down.
I did the math.
I'm like, okay.
I'm in community college now.
If I can finish by this time Itransferred to a four year do
(07:08):
that.
You know, do a master's maybe,or go into, straight into a PhD
program.
I 2024, I should be done.
It's going to be glorious.
It's going to be awesome.
But here we are.
And as life would have it, Iwouldn't even have my masters
before 25.
I could have, I could have donethat, but I would have meant
(07:29):
taking some classes over thelast two years.
And.
I, I honestly didn't, I didn'teven have the mental bandwidth
to do that, not to togglefinancially.
And so instead of graduating,this may I have to graduate come
December.
So that's one.
You know, one semester later.
And obviously after I tend to NTfive, And so I feel like once I
(07:51):
turned 24 last year, and I kindof felt like the timeline that
it has sets.
For my academic life.
my professional career life wassort of no heading in the
direction that I thought itwould.
I felt like I hadn't achievedanything.
I felt like.
I was basically just not.
Day yet you.
(08:12):
I felt like I wasn't quite thereand I didn't know what it was
specifically.
I mean, I knew a few of thethings I click here, PhD and all
that, but.
I kind of still feel likesomething was majorly missing.
Like I was missing.
Some so off.
Take on the box to say that,okay, this is the big thing that
I did.
(08:32):
We fly 10 25.
I always wanted to write a book,be 5, 10 25 and have written.
but I'm just not confidentenough to, to publish them
because I feel like, well, whatif there was a mistake?
What if I have to study more toput this out?
What am I going to put this outthere?
And they come in disguise myselfand go, do you know what if,
what if, what if.
Whatever.
And so needless to say that bookis not going to see the light of
(08:55):
day.
Before my.
But the plan was to launch it onmy 25th by day.
But it's D it's just not goingto happen.
And that's okay.
Right.
But I just had all these dreamsfrom a very young age.
I've been that typical leader.
Always involved, always leadingsomething in school.
I just always finding myself inpositions where I make an impact
(09:20):
in positions where, you know, Iprimarily influence decisions
that are made.
I've always had that tenacity.
To be in setting rooms and tohave relationships with certain
people, AKA stakeholder.
Kind of, relationships.
And I think I'm definitely notgoing to make the 15 minute.
My, because what I actuallyplanned to talk about in this
(09:41):
episode is not what I'm talkingabout right now.
I plan to talk about the factthat.
I had missed a newsletter dayand it's a whole thing.
Enemy's probably going to be thenext episode, but I don't know
why the Lord is leading me inthis direction, because this was
not the plan at all.
When I sat down.
Anyway.
So as I was saying in the firstsix months, I'm tired at 10 24.
(10:03):
I was really in that place oftrying to assess my life and
reflect and kind of see.
What have you done with these 24years that God has given you?
Not just from the spiritual andministry angle.
Because I think.
That I was quite.
happy that I finally started tolet the Lord actually do through
(10:26):
me, what he has always wanted todo through me.
You know, I have started apodcast finally out to like
talking about it for five years.
has started Putting things inplace to get back into writing.
And do you know, I have studiedsetting up the website and
things like that.
And so things were, things werelooking quite good.
But on the career and theeconomic fronds, I was quite.
(10:47):
Honestly wallowing and thepolice have feeling not enough.
And the place of feeling like Ihad not done enough.
And.
I cannot make wise.
Of course there was the pointthat, okay.
I'm clearly not going to have myPhD before I attend 25.
And it's not even PAG.
They must've said the muscle'snot even happening.
So.
(11:07):
I had his bag.
Go happy.
And as you sit here.
it cussed it long ago.
It's not something that.
I even desire to do anymore.
And it's interesting becauseeven that's my desire to pursue
that degree had died down slowlyover the last.
(11:30):
Four years or so.
I was still.
putting myself throughunnecessary.
worry.
Because I had no achieve thatthing.
And it's like, okay, thatdoesn't even make sense if you
don't even want to do this thinganymore.
And why didn't I use sad thatyou have not accomplished it,
but you know, that.
That overachiever part of mejust likes to have.
(11:53):
These links to see, okay, I takethe box.
Okay.
I did this thing.
Okay.
I have this thing.
Okay.
I did this thing and, you know,look, look at what I
accomplished.
And it was slowly bringing me tothe point of realizing that.
I truly somehow feel and thinkthat.
My life is in my hands.
Oh, that's when God was.
Crypting the intricate detailsof my life.
(12:15):
Somehow I was dead and I wasbeing consulted.
On how I wanted each phase andeach seizing and each year of
that, like to go and how itshould look like.
But the reality of it is thatbefore I even knew myself, God
had already.
Planned everything.
And so in these last six months,As I have pushed my 25th bed,
(12:38):
they, I was telling my, my bigsays my cousin, Mimi, actually
just a few days ago that I feellike the Lord has been.
And I just realized I've beenthrowing your name out there.
Anyways.
I'll selling.
my baker says that.
I felt like in this last sixmonths, as I'm heading towards
my train to Fitbit, they, thatthe Lord has been showing me.
(13:02):
Each of the, memorable years ofmy life.
The mistakes that I made and thelessons that I should have taken
from those things that he'sreally just been opening my
eyes.
And I was sending her that Ifeel like I have grown and
matured so much.
In these last six months andit's just like, we it's, like, I
went to bed.
Dumb.
And then I just woke up the nextday, just filled with all this
(13:24):
wisdom and all these.
And I'm just like, oh my God.
Like.
I'm growing up, you know?
And.
I don't know about my fellow 20fivers.
You know, those are people whotend to any five.
I don't know about y'all, but.
up until these last few monthsof this year.
I have not felt my age.
(13:45):
I have felt much, much youngerthan my age.
It's like, okay, how am I 24?
How, how in God's name am Iabout to 10 25?
Like, it's something that I cannot believe with something that
I cannot process.
Like how was it coming soquickly?
Because to me, it feels like Ican barely even remember what I
was doing.
That 20.
I feel like there's still somuch to learn before that big
(14:05):
age of 25, but the Lord wasmaking me realize that he knew
what 25 years.
It's a grant.
It's it's huge.
You're older and all that.
But one Martez is not, that youattained your PhD all day.
Yeah.
Attained your master's beforethat age.
What matters is that.
You're actually finding yourpurpose.
(14:25):
Or that you have found yourpurpose by that time.
And I remember.
The someone by AGS that'sopposite.
So my way, he basically saidthat.
By the age of 25, you should beborn again.
You should be filled with theholy spirit.
You should know your peppers andyour assignments on this earth,
and you should have been done.
To walk in that.
And I think that they, I hadthat thing it's it's when, like
(14:48):
it began to really renew my mindof like, okay, so my 25, and
this is not that by force my 25,you need to kind of know the
direction and all those things,right.
But it kind of makes you realizethat some of the things that we
are choosing in life, actually,not that important is actually
much more important things.
There's a whole generation ofpeople that are waiting for me
(15:09):
to get up and do that, which theLord has told me to do.
There's a whole generation.
A whole group of people who arewaiting, crying.
Uh, who are going through thingsbecause I have no yet started to
walk in the dimension that theLord has called me to walk in.
Even at this age.
And so I began to think like,okay, PhD or they want to do it
(15:30):
anymore.
Izzy, we need a big deal.
Like, okay.
Maybe I don't have that gene jobyet.
And, you know, Even that genejob, it's not something that I
just had to jump into and I haveto go to stages.
I have to, to go through thestages to actually be equipped
for that gene job.
And I think that's one of thethings with our generation where
we are rushing and we arestruggling.
We want to get to the end of theline where we buy.
(15:53):
And my seat is but we don't wantto go through the stages.
I actually equips us to gettingto that point where we can have
the financial independence to beable to make some of those.
Purchases And codes that we sodesire.
We are so filled with the endgoal.
That we forget that there's aprocess that we have to go
through to get to that and go.
(16:13):
We are also filled with, oh myGod.
You know, for, for most guys,it's like, okay, by 30, I have
to get made and how to makemoney in all this.
And each day we are consumedwith the thought of, oh God,
give me a business.
I did, I'll make me a million.
Tomorrow, but like, no, I don'twork like that for some in mind.
But if we're going to be honestand realistic, that's not the
path for everybody.
(16:34):
And so as I'm approaching this20 foot bed, I'm going in with a
renewed mindset.
And I'm going in with the factthat, you know what I am, where
I am, because this is where itgoes.
So desires for me to be.
I strongly believe that I am inthe center of his will.
And, My desires.
Add that the mind desires, butultimately what matters is that?
(16:55):
I desire what the Lord desiresfor me.
just, last week when I wasdriving to you office, very
randomly.
The Holy Spirit said to me, theopinion and the desire of a
mature believer is irrelevantwhere the will of God.
Is Claire.
And I said, wait a minute now,what does that mean?
(17:17):
And again, in conversation withmy big SIS.
These past few days.
It began to become clear that.
The will of God.
Is for me to first seek hiskingdom is for me to fish cheese
upside.
The things of Him is for me tofirst desire and hunger for a
relationship with Him.
And not getting the mastersbefore 25 and not getting the
(17:40):
PhD before 25, if I could dothose things.
Yeah.
Great.
For those who have done it.
Great.
Awesome.
I said, Lou, you, I applaud you.
But that is not a part foreverybody.
And so I just want to, you know,speak to us.
Cause I knew that many peoplelistening to this.
Uh, around, you know, that, thatage or we are all kind of
feeling like we've notaccomplished things or we are
(18:00):
we're under achieving.
And I just want to bring you tothis point that.
Well, taking that educationboxes.
Great.
Well, To conduct Herriot booksis great.
What is greatest?
It's actually, you're standingwith the Lord.
And I'm not just talking aboutyou, like you born again and all
that.
Cause you can be born again.
But your mindset can still be ina very bad place.
(18:23):
That knee needs to be heavily.
Renewed and transformed.
And so my call to myself firstand then to you guys, is that.
Even as we cause some of thesemajor milestones in our lives,
even as we cross.
You know, the age of 25 as weapproach it as, as we push 30,
40, 50, whatever it isprimarily, our focus should
(18:47):
remain.
On seeking the kingdom Each daywe wake up and it's like, God,
what do you need me to do today?
Does this kryptonite desire thatI still love it.
I remember exactly where it is.
But he basically says that eachday, the Lord wakes me up to do
his rule.
He wakes me up to tell me what Ineed to accomplish for the day.
And so these days I wake up andI asked the Lord, Lord, what
(19:08):
did, what is it that I need todo in this day?
I know there's the routine Ihave to do schoolwork.
I have to, you know, do.
my, my work where But ultimatelyit's like, God, what do I
actually need to accomplish inthis day?
And once I began to kind ofrenew my mind in that way and
seeing that yes, while there areroutines that are set out for
each day, That you go to wherehe go to lectures, you do all
(19:31):
these things.
Ultimately.
What matters is that each day.
You're doing that, which theLord has specifically asked you
to.
And to some, it may look liketoday.
I want you to spend an hour inthe worship with me.
No speaking in tongues, Just sitin there.
Just.
Basking in my presence and justsinging to me.
(19:51):
To another, it may look like Iwant you to start spending five
minutes with me daily at thistime.
So I'm not, I may look like Iwant you to start waking up at
midnight.
Everyday praying to another.
It may be that I want you tojoin.
does Bible study group toanother.
It may look very different and,and I'll show what do you for me
personally?
What it has looked like for me.
(20:12):
In the second half of my 24th.
Is.
The steady of the word.
and I've slacked a little bit,but I'm getting back.
I wasn't in the Bible, in theedge Lynch and.
It was going very gray.
And then I had to take a littlebreak.
And then coming back now, theLord to me, your machine too
much.
You're rushing through my wet.
I don't want you to rush throughmy wet.
And I'm like, well, I do, I dowant to get through it.
(20:35):
And they, yeah, because I feellike I always start and I never
finished.
And if y'all calling me to studyyour word more, like how I want
to get a he's like, yeah, I wantyou to study it.
I don't want you to zoom throughit.
And so now.
What he's asking me to do is totake the next three years.
To study the wet.
And so for the next few years,even if I don't get that PhD,
(20:55):
which leaves me on is I ain'tdoing no PhD.
Um, You know, I am getting mymaster's degree by the end of
the year.
in the next two years, I'mlikely going to be promoted at
work.
those things?
I kind of asserting that.
Okay.
Work is still going to be goingon degrees with I've been back
since vacations would have beenattained, life would be going on
(21:17):
as a should.
Friends would be made.
You know, those little thingswould have been done.
But for the next few years, Iknow I have an assignment.
And then assignments is tosteady the word.
At top tier a day, there's likea three-year plan, a chapter a
day, whatever it takes to getthere.
And to not just steady itbecause it's an assignment, but
to steady it because I trulyhave a hunger.
(21:38):
To know God.
And because now instead ofchasing degrees and, you know,
career advancement.
No.
My mindset has changed.
My heart has been transformed tonow face a different direction,
the right direction.
When now I prioritize.
Seeking Fez, the kingdom of God.
And so friend, I pray for youtoday.
(21:59):
Quite understand or rememberhalf the things I said in this
episode and probably was allover the place.
It was never my intention toevening spew.
Any of these was, I said, I feellike I've even overshared in
this episode.
But I prayed for you today.
And my prayer is simple.
That you will come to a place.
Where you mature so much in theLord.
(22:22):
They your desires, youropinions, your own plans for
your life.
Become a relevance.
The moment he makes his wheelclear for you.
I pray for you that you willremain in the center of his will
for your life.
That you will seek first, thekingdom of God.
Because the word gives us anassurance that once we do that,
all other things, everythingelse that we need.
(22:43):
We'll be added onto us.
And I know that sometimes lifecan get tough sometimes for us
25 layers.
It may look like other peoplehave gone far beyond that,
because now you're beginning tolook at your classmates and all
that.
And you're kind of seeing howfar everyone else is going and
thinking.
God, this one is married.
This one had the baby.
this one that there is, and thisone did that.
(23:04):
This one is an influenza.
This one is going to Thailandand Dubai every three days.
But if you could just sit withyour solvent, sit with the Lord
and just study the word andbegin to dissect that, which
he's called you to do in yourown life.
And just kind of remove theglances that you have towards
other people.
I promise you.
(23:25):
That's going to be worth itbecause through that lens that
is focused solely on God.
And through that desire to justseek him and seek him alone, not
for the things that you wouldget.
But because you want to growthat, that relationship with
him.
I promise you, you're going tosee a change in your life and
that promise you.
All of these other things, thelack of a PhD, the lack of a
(23:48):
master's degree, the lack of ajob, that lack of a promotion.
All these things suddenly beginto become very little.
Because now you have caught adimension of God.
That shows you a fullness.
And the things that reallymatter in life.
I pray that you have blessed.
that you were a main light.
(24:09):
In this world of so muchdarkness.
And I hope to see you.
On the next one.
I love you.
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