September 24, 2025 • 29 mins
Aging is a privilege, not a problem. This perspective-shifting conversation with gerontologist Briana Velarde challenges everything you thought you knew about growing older.
Drawing from her expertise as coordinator of the Optimal Aging Program at the Huntsman Mental Health Institute, Velarde redefines successful aging as adaptability rather than the avoidance of change. She dismantles harmful stereotypes suggesting that aging inevitably leads to decline and dependency, offering instead a vision of continued growth, purpose, and joy throughout life's later chapters.
The science is clear—your mindset about aging significantly impacts your health outcomes. Velarde shares fascinating research showing people with positive outlooks on aging were 13% less likely to have heart attacks than their negative-thinking counterparts, even with family history of heart disease. This compelling evidence underscores why challenging our internal narratives about aging matters so much.
For those experiencing changes in physical abilities or health, Velarde offers practical guidance centered on three principles: never stop moving, never stop learning, and never stop connecting. She shares touching stories of patients in their 80s and 90s developing new skills and rekindling passions, proving it's never too late to find fulfillment. Her wisdom extends to younger listeners as well, emphasizing the importance of building identity beyond career achievements to prepare for a meaningful retirement.
The conversation tackles the critical distinction between isolation and loneliness, with actionable steps for fostering genuine connection. Velarde envisions ideal communities as intergenerational spaces where older adults are valued for their wisdom and experience. As Mark Twain wisely noted, "Aging is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Ready to transform how you think about aging?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Today on Senior Care Academy, we're joined by Brianna
Velarde MS, a gerontologistwith a focus on dementia care
and exercise science.
Brianna coordinates the OptimalAging Program at the Huntsman
Mental Health InstituteGeriatric Psychiatry Clinic,
where she helps promote healthyaging, social connection and
caregiver support.
She earned she earned hermaster's in gerontology from the
(00:31):
university of Utah, receivingthe best master's project award
in 2020, and has presented herresearch on dementia education
in rural aging communities atnational conferences like the
gerontological society ofAmerica and the American Society
on Aging.
Brand is passionate abouthelping older adults live with
purpose, connection and joy.
(00:51):
Today, we're going to talkabout how we can all promote
overall well-being as we age andbuild a more positive outlook
on growing older.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
I'm excited to jump into this.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, kind of getting into it.
The first question before weget into the shaping and mindset
on aging is what got you intoit?
I think it's very unique andnot common to have somebody go
to school specifically to workin gerontology.
A lot of people happen to endup in senior services in
(01:26):
gerontology.
So what got you into that?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Well, I've always, I always was very, very close to
my grandmother.
She lived kitty corner to me,my entire life and she was just
always there for me and she waskind of my inspiration to go in
that direction, especiallyhealth.
(01:51):
I would always be helping her.
I was just her little helperall the time.
And then when I started to lookinto physical therapy or
occupational therapy, I heard ofgerontology and I jumped right
into it.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
That's awesome and you've obviously done well.
It's cool the awards thatyou've gotten, the places you've
been able to speak and actuallystart having an impact so
quickly One thing.
So when you think of aging well, what is the first thing that
comes to mind?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And then how would you say it differs from
society's typical view of aging?
Well, I think the first thingthat comes to mind is
adaptability.
It's about being able to adjustto changes and challenges, and
I mean this could be physical,emotional, social.
And it's really different fromsociety, because I think society
(02:50):
has a more narrow definition oflike, staying youthful, which
is maintaining, like, a certainphysical appearance, having high
energy all the time, avoidingillness.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
And the reality is that aging well isn't about
avoiding the change, it's aboutembracing it with just grace and
resiliency like you know,moving, being healthy, having
(03:26):
community connection, like it'slike one of these micro buckets
of what the umbrella of the termthat you just said, which is
adaptability, like having beingable to adapt your community
around your adapt your health,habits and things.
So I like that a lot.
Are there misconceptions aroundaging?
That's one of them that agingthe only way to age well is if
you look 60, at 80.
But are there othermisconceptions about getting
(03:49):
older that you would just likelove to see go away?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I would say the idea of just it's inevitable to have
this major decline which canresult in dependency and feeling
obsolete.
These thoughts are just so, sodamaging and while there could
be physical and cognitivechanges in this process of aging
(04:15):
, it's not what defines theperson and it's not the normal
part of aging.
And you know, many older adultscontinue to learn new skills,
they continue to contribute tosociety and communities and they
can find purpose.
So life is just rich withexperience and potential and
(04:40):
should not be seen as a loss asyou age and should not be seen
as a loss as you age.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yeah, I like that a lot.
I mean, I've found myself evensometimes like the beginning
thing that you said of like therapid decline of aging is
inevitable and it happens toeverybody at some point, but
it's not necessarily true Likemy oh man.
We had somebody on a while agowhen he talked about stage not
(05:05):
age, because you have thosepeople that do have rapid
decline at 62.
And you have those that are 102and still traveling the world,
you know, and so it doesn't haveto be a negative thing.
Aging doesn't have to be, whenyou go about and think about
(05:40):
aging, kind of touching on thepositive outlook that comes with
aging, especially those changes, those adaptability with health
changes that happen for people.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Even if it's not a rapid decline, maybe there's a
shift in their health, what Iguess how much does mindset
really matter in all of that,when you think about those
changes that happen, naturally,it really matters, um, you know,
research has shown, uh, thatthere is a truly a clear link
between a positive outlook onaging and better health outcomes
.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Um.
There is a study in from JohnsHopkins, um Hopkins, that they
found people with family historyof heart disease who developed
a more positive outlook were 13%less likely to have a heart
attack compared to theirnegative thinking counterparts.
Positive mindset promotes youto lead you to healthier
(06:31):
behaviors which can lower thestress levels and just impact
your overall health.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
I love that and I agree.
I think that having if somebody, if there's two people in the
eye of the storm, if you will,and one person is like I'm going
to make it through this andwhatnot, I feel like they can
see different paths forward thanthe other person, that's like
we're all going to die.
And so is there any practicaltips?
(06:58):
Because maybe somebody 60, 70,80, or even younger, maybe
they're 40 and they're startingto notice just the signs of
getting older.
Their knees are a little bitmore sore.
Are there practical tips orways that you're able to
actually go from the becausethere's reality in the downside
(07:20):
of like man dang it, my kneeshurt and so I can't like play
basketball as long or somethingby the time I'm 50, maybe?
How do you flip the script?
Or how do you help those peopleflip the script and be able to
see the positive sides of it, sothat way they can have that
positive outlook?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I think they need to just keep moving and I would.
I would say they just neverstop moving, never stop learning
, never stop connecting, and youjust try to.
You know, life comes at youwith different barriers and you
(08:02):
just need to now take a stepback and look at it in a whole
different way and see how youcan continue your passions Maybe
not how you did it before, butmaybe you can apply it in a new
way.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I like that.
There's this book that I reallylike called the Gap and the
Gain.
I don't know if you read it.
Five second synopsis is the gapis like here am I here I am.
Here's how far I have to go.
The gain is like here am I,here I am, and look how far I've
come.
And I think that, even thoughit's not like they've come so
(08:41):
far with whatever changes thathave happened in their life, but
they could.
You know.
The gap is I used to be able toski for a whole weekend in park
city and now I only can lastone hour.
That's the gap.
But if they flip it and look atthe gain of, like I'm still
able to ski with my grandkidsfor a whole hour, you know, yeah
(09:03):
, so I like that.
It's like helping them see the,the net positive that they still
have, even if there is like anegative, but it's just a
perceived negative, if you letit be perceived right, it
changes yeah, um, a questionthat I I know that gerontology
right, it's specifically aboutolder adults, but I think I'm
sure that a lot of your researchand everything that you do,
(09:24):
kind of it, starts younger,because everybody gets older, a
lot of younger people and thisis a soapbox that I have a
little bit of like you know,when we're five, we can't wait
to be 10, because double digitsand 10, we can't wait to be in
junior high and high school, andthen I can't wait to be done
with my master's and whatnot.
And then there's this time Idon't know, maybe it's somewhere
in the forties or somethingwhere all of a sudden people are
(09:47):
pumping the brakes, being likeslow down, wait, and they're not
excited about what's next.
Um, what advice would you giveto younger people about
preparing to have that healthyaging later in life and,
specifically, I guess, the waythat you define aging as
adaptability?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Okay, so well, first I would say, like slow it down.
You know, you were just sayinglike we're always looking at the
next, you know, decade.
But, yeah, you know, be mindfuland stay in the moment.
But another one that I think,what I see in my own patients
that I work with, you know don'tprioritize your, don't
(10:31):
prioritize your career as likethe main thing.
Prioritize your personal growthand well-being, because we live
in a culture that promotesidentifying ourselves with our
job, but this can lead tosignificant loss after, like,
retirement, and so reallyprepare for a healthy life by
(11:00):
building a good core, afoundation of self-worth.
So, which this means again,find a good exercise that you
love to enjoy, your yourfavorite hobbies, continue to,
you know, be curious and learnnew things and just maintain,
like good, face-to-face socialrelationships.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, I like that, we definitely.
Yeah, we definitely live in asociety where, I mean, there's
the saying to retire is toexpire or whatever, because it's
so career centric that once youlose that, if you're spending
80 hours a week for 40 yearsbecause you're trying to like do
(11:40):
whatever with your career, andthen you're like, oh wait, I
never picked up golf when I wasyounger, you know, like I don't
know whatever it is to have thatthat, so I like that career
could be your passion yeah but,um, you can after, let's say,
you're you're done with withworking and you can retire, you
have that privilege to.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
then I, you know what put that passion into something
else.
I volunteer, or you know thereis other ways to apply your
skills your skills, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
And then the face-to-face aspect, I think is
huge, a, lot, of, a lot of thetime, because we didn't and I'm
I honestly am a little bitworried about like the newest
generation that's so engulfedsometimes and to technology,
they're not having theface-to-face.
It's like man.
I wonder what it's going tolook like when, you know, when
they get older and not havethose those rock solid
relationships and friendshipsand groups of people with common
(12:40):
interests to hang out with.
So that's really good advice,as you have your clients that
you've met with over the years.
I mean, you dropped one goldnugget of like prioritize or
maybe not like don't prioritizeyour career, but it's make sure
that you have room for otherpriorities, to be more of a
(13:01):
whole person by the time you getto retirement age.
But what other lessons ofresilience or joy or connection
have you learned from yourpatients?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
or connection have you learned from your patients?
I think what I've learned mostwith working from the older
generation and my patients isthat it's never too late to find
joy and meaning in your life.
We often think that aging isthe time of decline, but I've
seen amazing skills ofresiliency within my patients
that overcome significantbarriers like chronic health
(13:40):
conditions and grief ordiscrimination.
For example, I feel like I'veseen patients in their 80s and
90s develop new skills andrekindle like old passions.
I had a patient that justalways had a passion to play the
saxophone and you know what?
(14:01):
We encouraged her to go try itand she did, and so, yeah, that
is what I've seen.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
I love that.
Yeah, we kind of have a programalong those lines of like
getting out and continuingexperiencing life.
We're kind of the idea is likedo you remember Got Milk?
Like just the classic milkbison.
Basically, we want it to belike getting old it's good,
(14:30):
right, like show her playing thesaxophone, it's a good thing
that you're getting old, showthem skydiving or doing
something like all all thethings that they used to like to
do, and it's like the idea ofit used to be.
Are you getting old?
Oh no, like bad, pump thebrakes, all these things, but
it's like, no, it's good.
Like you have the time or youhave, um, the people you have.
(14:52):
You've built this life and nowyou, you know, experience the
fruits of it through your aging.
So that's cool.
Um, one thing that I talk a lotabout and I'd love your
expertise on but socialisolation and loneliness is just
like huge for seniors.
I think, um, one of the goodthings that or if any of the
good things that came from COVID, was that isolation got a ton
(15:14):
of spotlight Like what impact isit having being isolated?
And it has tons of health.
Like people die years earlierbecause of isolation.
So what's a practical step thatpeople can do in their older
years to adjust and try to stayconnected.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Well, first of all, I would like to note that you can
be like loneliness andisolation is two different
things.
You can be, um, perfectly, youknow, in, uh, surrounded by
people, but feel absolutelylonely.
So, and I think a lot of peoplefeel that.
(15:57):
So yeah, of course there'ssocial isolation, but just
feeling lonely is huge.
I would say pick up a passionor hobby, it's this, is this is
going to be repeated quite a bit.
But, you know, find somethinglike a book club, a volunteer
group, a painting class, thesenior center, a church, and the
(16:23):
key is to just find somethingthat you enjoy and you'd like to
share with others and learn andmeet new people, and it just
makes it easier to buildconnections and friendships.
But you can't.
You know, don't be afraid to bevulnerable.
You just have to know thateverybody's in the same boat.
A lot of people are nervous tomeet new people and socialize
(16:46):
and you know you might findsomebody that's also thinking
the same exact thing and youjust connect.
And that's what I see in myoptimal aging program that I do
is that you have these strangersthat come together.
They're very nervous at first.
Then, when they start openingup to each other, they're like
oh, that's, that's happening toyou, oh, that's happened to me,
(17:08):
and then they, the spark happens.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, yeah, we had, we did a virtual, we called it a
like daily connect and it wasjust virtual and we had two
ladies that got on.
One was like late sixties, Onewas like late seventies and the
lady that was in her sixties hadbeen working, got injured.
Um wasn't able to work anymore,the lady in her seventies.
Because the lady in her sixtieswas willing to like be
(17:32):
vulnerable and be like yeah, I'mkind of going through this,
I've got PT and stuff.
Um, this 70 year old lady waslike oh my gosh, I had that same
injury.
And then, like they talked aboutshe's, like, I did these three
exercises, like all the otherones didn't help as much, but
this one was awesome.
And then they started talkingabout family and their hobbies
and where they live, and so,yeah, it really starts with like
a little, an inch ofvulnerability can really open up
(17:56):
the gate.
Um, how, what would you say topeople that cause?
Like I said I, I like how you,you double clicked on that.
Isolation is definitelydifferent than loneliness.
Like, um, my grandpa, forexample, is relatively isolated.
He lives in a really small townin Idaho, but he's not lonely
cause.
He's very well connected withhis, the small community that's
(18:17):
there, his kids, his grandkids.
And then you have the opposite,somebody that's maybe living in
a 300-bed assisted living orindependent living community
that feels incredibly lonely.
What would you say or how wouldyou try to motivate the person?
Cause I think loneliness ismore right, it's psychological
(18:38):
and not physical.
And sometimes people, whenthey're feeling lonely and
isolated and maybe depressed,like they don't have that
activation energy to be like I'mgoing to join a book club.
So how do you, how do you helpthem?
Like what's boiling it all theway down to like that first baby
step.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
The first baby step is to first, I guess, identify
that you are lonely, and I thinkthat is one.
A lot of people go aroundsaying they're depressed and sad
and they don't know why.
Well, first we got to recognizethat it's loneliness Number two
(19:22):
, I would say it's hard, but youkind of have to.
You really do have to pushyourself because nobody is going
to.
Usually a lot, a lot of peopledon't come to you.
You have to open up to go toother people.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Um, and I gotta say, if there's at least one person,
can that can be youraccountability to go you know,
get yourself out and, and, umyou know, push yourself.
I would say that that's, that'sthe only way.
I would in my opinion.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, I like that first baby step of realizing
like that it probably can beloneliness and maybe that goes
back to education, likerealizing that all of these
health things that you're havingcould root back to just being
emotionally lonely and andrealizing that we are tribal
beings and want that connection,you know you have control over
(20:28):
this, like you can get yourselfout and start talking to people.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
It's just that initial push, but you do have
control.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah, yeah, you have, even if it's on.
I think one of the good thingsabout social media is it can
lower that barrier to findingyour account.
About accountability, how'd yousay it is your?
Friends on Facebook.
You can just shoot them amessage like hey, you know, like
very low barrier of entry ofjust shooting a message and not
(21:04):
needing to necessarily go to arandom book club, but you can
just message Sarah from junioryear.
There's a lot of good thingswith technology and social media
.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
That really can help our older adults as well, and I
really encourage them too.
That's one of their new skillsthat they should continue to
learn, because it is great toconnect long distances.
So it does help with thatloneliness feel to keep on
connected to your family that'sfar away or your friends that
(21:36):
are far away.
It just shouldn't replace yourface to face-face interaction,
yeah, but it really can.
You know those are.
You can find meetup groupsonline.
You can find um so many like,yeah, virtual book clubs, um,
and you know, as we get older,we maybe lose our ability to
(21:57):
drive, yeah, so that's anotherreason why we feel isolated and
lonely is that we can't get outof the house as much, and that's
where, actually, technologyreally plays a good role in
helping isolation and loneliness.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, yeah.
And even if your accountabilitybuddy is a long-distance
friendship but you're tellingthem, hey, I saw this book club
it's you're telling somebodythat you're going to go do
something and so then you can golike I think about one of my
best friends.
We tell each other of like, oh,I signed up for this Spartan
race or whatever, and it keepsus accountable, to be like,
(22:35):
how'd it go?
And so having something likethat, that's cool and working.
You know, working on, you'veworked on building the dementia
education curriculum forhealthcare professionals and
even like family caregivers.
But why is education soimportant on how we approach
(22:55):
aging?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Um, it's, it's really crucial because um many
mistakenly as healthprofessionals, us, everybody, um
mistakenly think that, oh, youknow, that's just a normal part
of aging.
You know, um when somethinglike for a memory loss, oh
that's just normal, you know?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
no, it's not, it's not normal.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Um Education helps healthcare professionals and the
public move beyond thestereotypes and see older adults
not as just the diagnosis orjust a number in age, but as
individuals, and with thiseducation we can really help
(23:50):
build a system of care thatreally respects the dignity and
autonomy of our older adults andwhen particularly in dementia
education.
I mean the older adultpopulation is growing so fast.
By 2040, nearly 78.3 millionAmericans will be 65 years and
(24:11):
older, and so it's inevitablefor these healthcare workers to
encounter a patient with someform of dementia or memory
decline, cognitive decline, andthey need to be prepared to
provide the best possible carefor these patients.
And that really ensures youknow, educate, proper education
can ensure you know that, havingthat knowledge and empathy to
(24:33):
connect to their patients.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I like that.
Yeah, I think education one ofthe biggest I.
I like what you said, like youtouched on education really is
like showing what you don't know, changing what the norm is like
.
Um, the funny example wheneverI eat, uh, watermelon, my oat,
(24:56):
my throat gets itchy and I waslike, yeah, that happens to
everybody.
Um, and then I talked tosomebody about it and they're
like no, you're allergic towatermelon.
Anyway, so like little simplethings of changing what normal
or good looks like in aging, Ithink, is what education is.
We're getting super close ontime.
This has been a fun, fastconversation, but two fun
(25:19):
questions.
If you could design the idealcommunity for older adults, what
would it include?
What would kind of the pillarsbe?
Speaker 2 (25:28):
um, I would say, uh, I would love it to be more
intergenerational, like I wouldembrace that intergenerational
connection.
I think we segregate ourselvesway too much amongst our age
groups, and so I would createbetter community centers,
community gardens, just placeswhere everybody from all ages
(25:50):
can interact.
It would be much moreaccessible and walkable, better
public transportation and Iwould say, just a place where
they can be seen as active,contributing members to society,
where we really cherish alltheir wisdom and experience.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
I love that, yeah, neighborhood house in Salt Lake.
I think they do so good at that, like trying to incorporate the
intergenerational pieces.
So having that be interwoveninto just our society as a whole
would be really, reallyimpactful, I think.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yes, other countries are doing it and it's looking
really good, so I hope we startto take that in ourselves.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah.
And then last question if youcould leave listeners with one
mindset shift about aging, whatwould it be?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Aging is a privilege, not a problem.
Aging should not be seen as adecline, but as an opportunity
for personal growth, strongrelationships and a chance to
build knowledge.
(27:13):
When we embrace thisperspective, we can approach our
later years without dread, butmore with gratitude.
And you know, unfortunately,the people that continue to fuel
those negative mindsets ofaging is none other than us
ourselves.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
So if we can all just take a moment to reframe our
aging within ourselves, we canmaybe start to go towards, like,
getting rid of thosestereotypes.
So we got to call ourselves outwhen our inner voice is
starting to talk negative aboutour age and I love this quote.
(27:53):
I like to end on this quotewith Mark Twain.
Mark Twain said aging is anissue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn'tmatter.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
That's a great quote.
That's an awesome quote.
No, I've loved that.
I love this conversation.
It's been really fun.
And I guess, the real lastquestion you do put on like a
class or type thing, or you haveclients and things, class or
type thing, or you take you haveclients and things.
If people want to connect withyou specifically or go to that
class, what should they do orhow could they get in?
(28:28):
How should they?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
reach.
They can reach out to me.
I have, you know maybe, my workphone number, my direct work
phone number is 801-587-8221, um.
And, yes, I, we have a umoptimal aging program, which is
(28:50):
for older adults that arestruggling with mental health
issues.
Um, it's a, it's a daytreatment program over there.
So so, if you want to reach out, you can Awesome.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
This has been so great.
I appreciate you a lot spendingsome time, Brianna, and sharing
the mindset shifts that weshould all have when it comes to
aging.
Today on Senior Care Academy, we're joined by Brianna
Velarde MS, a gerontologistwith a focus on dementia care
and exercise science.
Brianna coordinates the OptimalAging Program at the Huntsman
Mental Health InstituteGeriatric Psychiatry Clinic,
where she helps promote healthyaging, social connection and
caregiver support.
She earned she earned hermaster's in gerontology from the
(00:31):
university of Utah, receivingthe best master's project award
in 2020, and has presented herresearch on dementia education
in rural aging communities atnational conferences like the
gerontological society ofAmerica and the American Society
on Aging.
Brand is passionate abouthelping older adults live with
purpose, connection and joy.
(00:51):
Today, we're going to talkabout how we can all promote
overall well-being as we age andbuild a more positive outlook
on growing older.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
I'm excited to jump into this.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, kind of getting into it.
The first question before weget into the shaping and mindset
on aging is what got you intoit?
I think it's very unique andnot common to have somebody go
to school specifically to workin gerontology.
A lot of people happen to endup in senior services in
(01:26):
gerontology.
So what got you into that?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Well, I've always, I always was very, very close to
my grandmother.
She lived kitty corner to me,my entire life and she was just
always there for me and she waskind of my inspiration to go in
that direction, especiallyhealth.
(01:51):
I would always be helping her.
I was just her little helperall the time.
And then when I started to lookinto physical therapy or
occupational therapy, I heard ofgerontology and I jumped right
into it.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
That's awesome and you've obviously done well.
It's cool the awards thatyou've gotten, the places you've
been able to speak and actuallystart having an impact so
quickly One thing.
So when you think of aging well, what is the first thing that
comes to mind?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And then how would you say it differs from
society's typical view of aging?
Well, I think the first thingthat comes to mind is
adaptability.
It's about being able to adjustto changes and challenges, and
I mean this could be physical,emotional, social.
And it's really different fromsociety, because I think society
(02:50):
has a more narrow definition oflike, staying youthful, which
is maintaining, like, a certainphysical appearance, having high
energy all the time, avoidingillness.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
And the reality is that aging well isn't about
avoiding the change, it's aboutembracing it with just grace and
resiliency like you know,moving, being healthy, having
(03:26):
community connection, like it'slike one of these micro buckets
of what the umbrella of the termthat you just said, which is
adaptability, like having beingable to adapt your community
around your adapt your health,habits and things.
So I like that a lot.
Are there misconceptions aroundaging?
That's one of them that agingthe only way to age well is if
you look 60, at 80.
But are there othermisconceptions about getting
(03:49):
older that you would just likelove to see go away?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I would say the idea of just it's inevitable to have
this major decline which canresult in dependency and feeling
obsolete.
These thoughts are just so, sodamaging and while there could
be physical and cognitivechanges in this process of aging
(04:15):
, it's not what defines theperson and it's not the normal
part of aging.
And you know, many older adultscontinue to learn new skills,
they continue to contribute tosociety and communities and they
can find purpose.
So life is just rich withexperience and potential and
(04:40):
should not be seen as a loss asyou age and should not be seen
as a loss as you age.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yeah, I like that a lot.
I mean, I've found myself evensometimes like the beginning
thing that you said of like therapid decline of aging is
inevitable and it happens toeverybody at some point, but
it's not necessarily true Likemy oh man.
We had somebody on a while agowhen he talked about stage not
(05:05):
age, because you have thosepeople that do have rapid
decline at 62.
And you have those that are 102and still traveling the world,
you know, and so it doesn't haveto be a negative thing.
Aging doesn't have to be, whenyou go about and think about
(05:40):
aging, kind of touching on thepositive outlook that comes with
aging, especially those changes, those adaptability with health
changes that happen for people.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Even if it's not a rapid decline, maybe there's a
shift in their health, what Iguess how much does mindset
really matter in all of that,when you think about those
changes that happen, naturally,it really matters, um, you know,
research has shown, uh, thatthere is a truly a clear link
between a positive outlook onaging and better health outcomes
.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Um.
There is a study in from JohnsHopkins, um Hopkins, that they
found people with family historyof heart disease who developed
a more positive outlook were 13%less likely to have a heart
attack compared to theirnegative thinking counterparts.
Positive mindset promotes youto lead you to healthier
(06:31):
behaviors which can lower thestress levels and just impact
your overall health.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
I love that and I agree.
I think that having if somebody, if there's two people in the
eye of the storm, if you will,and one person is like I'm going
to make it through this andwhatnot, I feel like they can
see different paths forward thanthe other person, that's like
we're all going to die.
And so is there any practicaltips?
(06:58):
Because maybe somebody 60, 70,80, or even younger, maybe
they're 40 and they're startingto notice just the signs of
getting older.
Their knees are a little bitmore sore.
Are there practical tips orways that you're able to
actually go from the becausethere's reality in the downside
(07:20):
of like man dang it, my kneeshurt and so I can't like play
basketball as long or somethingby the time I'm 50, maybe?
How do you flip the script?
Or how do you help those peopleflip the script and be able to
see the positive sides of it, sothat way they can have that
positive outlook?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I think they need to just keep moving and I would.
I would say they just neverstop moving, never stop learning
, never stop connecting, and youjust try to.
You know, life comes at youwith different barriers and you
(08:02):
just need to now take a stepback and look at it in a whole
different way and see how youcan continue your passions Maybe
not how you did it before, butmaybe you can apply it in a new
way.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I like that.
There's this book that I reallylike called the Gap and the
Gain.
I don't know if you read it.
Five second synopsis is the gapis like here am I here I am.
Here's how far I have to go.
The gain is like here am I,here I am, and look how far I've
come.
And I think that, even thoughit's not like they've come so
(08:41):
far with whatever changes thathave happened in their life, but
they could.
You know.
The gap is I used to be able toski for a whole weekend in park
city and now I only can lastone hour.
That's the gap.
But if they flip it and look atthe gain of, like I'm still
able to ski with my grandkidsfor a whole hour, you know, yeah
(09:03):
, so I like that.
It's like helping them see the,the net positive that they still
have, even if there is like anegative, but it's just a
perceived negative, if you letit be perceived right, it
changes yeah, um, a questionthat I I know that gerontology
right, it's specifically aboutolder adults, but I think I'm
sure that a lot of your researchand everything that you do,
(09:24):
kind of it, starts younger,because everybody gets older, a
lot of younger people and thisis a soapbox that I have a
little bit of like you know,when we're five, we can't wait
to be 10, because double digitsand 10, we can't wait to be in
junior high and high school, andthen I can't wait to be done
with my master's and whatnot.
And then there's this time Idon't know, maybe it's somewhere
in the forties or somethingwhere all of a sudden people are
(09:47):
pumping the brakes, being likeslow down, wait, and they're not
excited about what's next.
Um, what advice would you giveto younger people about
preparing to have that healthyaging later in life and,
specifically, I guess, the waythat you define aging as
adaptability?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Okay, so well, first I would say, like slow it down.
You know, you were just sayinglike we're always looking at the
next, you know, decade.
But, yeah, you know, be mindfuland stay in the moment.
But another one that I think,what I see in my own patients
that I work with, you know don'tprioritize your, don't
(10:31):
prioritize your career as likethe main thing.
Prioritize your personal growthand well-being, because we live
in a culture that promotesidentifying ourselves with our
job, but this can lead tosignificant loss after, like,
retirement, and so reallyprepare for a healthy life by
(11:00):
building a good core, afoundation of self-worth.
So, which this means again,find a good exercise that you
love to enjoy, your yourfavorite hobbies, continue to,
you know, be curious and learnnew things and just maintain,
like good, face-to-face socialrelationships.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, I like that, we definitely.
Yeah, we definitely live in asociety where, I mean, there's
the saying to retire is toexpire or whatever, because it's
so career centric that once youlose that, if you're spending
80 hours a week for 40 yearsbecause you're trying to like do
(11:40):
whatever with your career, andthen you're like, oh wait, I
never picked up golf when I wasyounger, you know, like I don't
know whatever it is to have thatthat, so I like that career
could be your passion yeah but,um, you can after, let's say,
you're you're done with withworking and you can retire, you
have that privilege to.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
then I, you know what put that passion into something
else.
I volunteer, or you know thereis other ways to apply your
skills your skills, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
And then the face-to-face aspect, I think is
huge, a, lot, of, a lot of thetime, because we didn't and I'm
I honestly am a little bitworried about like the newest
generation that's so engulfedsometimes and to technology,
they're not having theface-to-face.
It's like man.
I wonder what it's going tolook like when, you know, when
they get older and not havethose those rock solid
relationships and friendshipsand groups of people with common
(12:40):
interests to hang out with.
So that's really good advice,as you have your clients that
you've met with over the years.
I mean, you dropped one goldnugget of like prioritize or
maybe not like don't prioritizeyour career, but it's make sure
that you have room for otherpriorities, to be more of a
(13:01):
whole person by the time you getto retirement age.
But what other lessons ofresilience or joy or connection
have you learned from yourpatients?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
or connection have you learned from your patients?
I think what I've learned mostwith working from the older
generation and my patients isthat it's never too late to find
joy and meaning in your life.
We often think that aging isthe time of decline, but I've
seen amazing skills ofresiliency within my patients
that overcome significantbarriers like chronic health
(13:40):
conditions and grief ordiscrimination.
For example, I feel like I'veseen patients in their 80s and
90s develop new skills andrekindle like old passions.
I had a patient that justalways had a passion to play the
saxophone and you know what?
(14:01):
We encouraged her to go try itand she did, and so, yeah, that
is what I've seen.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
I love that.
Yeah, we kind of have a programalong those lines of like
getting out and continuingexperiencing life.
We're kind of the idea is likedo you remember Got Milk?
Like just the classic milkbison.
Basically, we want it to belike getting old it's good,
(14:30):
right, like show her playing thesaxophone, it's a good thing
that you're getting old, showthem skydiving or doing
something like all all thethings that they used to like to
do, and it's like the idea ofit used to be.
Are you getting old?
Oh no, like bad, pump thebrakes, all these things, but
it's like, no, it's good.
Like you have the time or youhave, um, the people you have.
(14:52):
You've built this life and nowyou, you know, experience the
fruits of it through your aging.
So that's cool.
Um, one thing that I talk a lotabout and I'd love your
expertise on but socialisolation and loneliness is just
like huge for seniors.
I think, um, one of the goodthings that or if any of the
good things that came from COVID, was that isolation got a ton
(15:14):
of spotlight Like what impact isit having being isolated?
And it has tons of health.
Like people die years earlierbecause of isolation.
So what's a practical step thatpeople can do in their older
years to adjust and try to stayconnected.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Well, first of all, I would like to note that you can
be like loneliness andisolation is two different
things.
You can be, um, perfectly, youknow, in, uh, surrounded by
people, but feel absolutelylonely.
So, and I think a lot of peoplefeel that.
(15:57):
So yeah, of course there'ssocial isolation, but just
feeling lonely is huge.
I would say pick up a passionor hobby, it's this, is this is
going to be repeated quite a bit.
But, you know, find somethinglike a book club, a volunteer
group, a painting class, thesenior center, a church, and the
(16:23):
key is to just find somethingthat you enjoy and you'd like to
share with others and learn andmeet new people, and it just
makes it easier to buildconnections and friendships.
But you can't.
You know, don't be afraid to bevulnerable.
You just have to know thateverybody's in the same boat.
A lot of people are nervous tomeet new people and socialize
(16:46):
and you know you might findsomebody that's also thinking
the same exact thing and youjust connect.
And that's what I see in myoptimal aging program that I do
is that you have these strangersthat come together.
They're very nervous at first.
Then, when they start openingup to each other, they're like
oh, that's, that's happening toyou, oh, that's happened to me,
(17:08):
and then they, the spark happens.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, yeah, we had, we did a virtual, we called it a
like daily connect and it wasjust virtual and we had two
ladies that got on.
One was like late sixties, Onewas like late seventies and the
lady that was in her sixties hadbeen working, got injured.
Um wasn't able to work anymore,the lady in her seventies.
Because the lady in her sixtieswas willing to like be
(17:32):
vulnerable and be like yeah, I'mkind of going through this,
I've got PT and stuff.
Um, this 70 year old lady waslike oh my gosh, I had that same
injury.
And then, like they talked aboutshe's, like, I did these three
exercises, like all the otherones didn't help as much, but
this one was awesome.
And then they started talkingabout family and their hobbies
and where they live, and so,yeah, it really starts with like
a little, an inch ofvulnerability can really open up
(17:56):
the gate.
Um, how, what would you say topeople that cause?
Like I said I, I like how you,you double clicked on that.
Isolation is definitelydifferent than loneliness.
Like, um, my grandpa, forexample, is relatively isolated.
He lives in a really small townin Idaho, but he's not lonely
cause.
He's very well connected withhis, the small community that's
(18:17):
there, his kids, his grandkids.
And then you have the opposite,somebody that's maybe living in
a 300-bed assisted living orindependent living community
that feels incredibly lonely.
What would you say or how wouldyou try to motivate the person?
Cause I think loneliness ismore right, it's psychological
(18:38):
and not physical.
And sometimes people, whenthey're feeling lonely and
isolated and maybe depressed,like they don't have that
activation energy to be like I'mgoing to join a book club.
So how do you, how do you helpthem?
Like what's boiling it all theway down to like that first baby
step.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
The first baby step is to first, I guess, identify
that you are lonely, and I thinkthat is one.
A lot of people go aroundsaying they're depressed and sad
and they don't know why.
Well, first we got to recognizethat it's loneliness Number two
(19:22):
, I would say it's hard, but youkind of have to.
You really do have to pushyourself because nobody is going
to.
Usually a lot, a lot of peopledon't come to you.
You have to open up to go toother people.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Um, and I gotta say, if there's at least one person,
can that can be youraccountability to go you know,
get yourself out and, and, umyou know, push yourself.
I would say that that's, that'sthe only way.
I would in my opinion.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, I like that first baby step of realizing
like that it probably can beloneliness and maybe that goes
back to education, likerealizing that all of these
health things that you're havingcould root back to just being
emotionally lonely and andrealizing that we are tribal
beings and want that connection,you know you have control over
(20:28):
this, like you can get yourselfout and start talking to people.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
It's just that initial push, but you do have
control.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah, yeah, you have, even if it's on.
I think one of the good thingsabout social media is it can
lower that barrier to findingyour account.
About accountability, how'd yousay it is your?
Friends on Facebook.
You can just shoot them amessage like hey, you know, like
very low barrier of entry ofjust shooting a message and not
(21:04):
needing to necessarily go to arandom book club, but you can
just message Sarah from junioryear.
There's a lot of good thingswith technology and social media
.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
That really can help our older adults as well, and I
really encourage them too.
That's one of their new skillsthat they should continue to
learn, because it is great toconnect long distances.
So it does help with thatloneliness feel to keep on
connected to your family that'sfar away or your friends that
(21:36):
are far away.
It just shouldn't replace yourface to face-face interaction,
yeah, but it really can.
You know those are.
You can find meetup groupsonline.
You can find um so many like,yeah, virtual book clubs, um,
and you know, as we get older,we maybe lose our ability to
(21:57):
drive, yeah, so that's anotherreason why we feel isolated and
lonely is that we can't get outof the house as much, and that's
where, actually, technologyreally plays a good role in
helping isolation and loneliness.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, yeah.
And even if your accountabilitybuddy is a long-distance
friendship but you're tellingthem, hey, I saw this book club
it's you're telling somebodythat you're going to go do
something and so then you can golike I think about one of my
best friends.
We tell each other of like, oh,I signed up for this Spartan
race or whatever, and it keepsus accountable, to be like,
(22:35):
how'd it go?
And so having something likethat, that's cool and working.
You know, working on, you'veworked on building the dementia
education curriculum forhealthcare professionals and
even like family caregivers.
But why is education soimportant on how we approach
(22:55):
aging?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Um, it's, it's really crucial because um many
mistakenly as healthprofessionals, us, everybody, um
mistakenly think that, oh, youknow, that's just a normal part
of aging.
You know, um when somethinglike for a memory loss, oh
that's just normal, you know?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
no, it's not, it's not normal.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Um Education helps healthcare professionals and the
public move beyond thestereotypes and see older adults
not as just the diagnosis orjust a number in age, but as
individuals, and with thiseducation we can really help
(23:50):
build a system of care thatreally respects the dignity and
autonomy of our older adults andwhen particularly in dementia
education.
I mean the older adultpopulation is growing so fast.
By 2040, nearly 78.3 millionAmericans will be 65 years and
(24:11):
older, and so it's inevitablefor these healthcare workers to
encounter a patient with someform of dementia or memory
decline, cognitive decline, andthey need to be prepared to
provide the best possible carefor these patients.
And that really ensures youknow, educate, proper education
can ensure you know that, havingthat knowledge and empathy to
(24:33):
connect to their patients.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I like that.
Yeah, I think education one ofthe biggest I.
I like what you said, like youtouched on education really is
like showing what you don't know, changing what the norm is like
.
Um, the funny example wheneverI eat, uh, watermelon, my oat,
(24:56):
my throat gets itchy and I waslike, yeah, that happens to
everybody.
Um, and then I talked tosomebody about it and they're
like no, you're allergic towatermelon.
Anyway, so like little simplethings of changing what normal
or good looks like in aging, Ithink, is what education is.
We're getting super close ontime.
This has been a fun, fastconversation, but two fun
(25:19):
questions.
If you could design the idealcommunity for older adults, what
would it include?
What would kind of the pillarsbe?
Speaker 2 (25:28):
um, I would say, uh, I would love it to be more
intergenerational, like I wouldembrace that intergenerational
connection.
I think we segregate ourselvesway too much amongst our age
groups, and so I would createbetter community centers,
community gardens, just placeswhere everybody from all ages
(25:50):
can interact.
It would be much moreaccessible and walkable, better
public transportation and Iwould say, just a place where
they can be seen as active,contributing members to society,
where we really cherish alltheir wisdom and experience.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
I love that, yeah, neighborhood house in Salt Lake.
I think they do so good at that, like trying to incorporate the
intergenerational pieces.
So having that be interwoveninto just our society as a whole
would be really, reallyimpactful, I think.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yes, other countries are doing it and it's looking
really good, so I hope we startto take that in ourselves.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah.
And then last question if youcould leave listeners with one
mindset shift about aging, whatwould it be?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Aging is a privilege, not a problem.
Aging should not be seen as adecline, but as an opportunity
for personal growth, strongrelationships and a chance to
build knowledge.
(27:13):
When we embrace thisperspective, we can approach our
later years without dread, butmore with gratitude.
And you know, unfortunately,the people that continue to fuel
those negative mindsets ofaging is none other than us
ourselves.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
So if we can all just take a moment to reframe our
aging within ourselves, we canmaybe start to go towards, like,
getting rid of thosestereotypes.
So we got to call ourselves outwhen our inner voice is
starting to talk negative aboutour age and I love this quote.
(27:53):
I like to end on this quotewith Mark Twain.
Mark Twain said aging is anissue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn'tmatter.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
That's a great quote.
That's an awesome quote.
No, I've loved that.
I love this conversation.
It's been really fun.
And I guess, the real lastquestion you do put on like a
class or type thing, or you haveclients and things, class or
type thing, or you take you haveclients and things.
If people want to connect withyou specifically or go to that
class, what should they do orhow could they get in?
(28:28):
How should they?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
reach.
They can reach out to me.
I have, you know maybe, my workphone number, my direct work
phone number is 801-587-8221, um.
And, yes, I, we have a umoptimal aging program, which is
(28:50):
for older adults that arestruggling with mental health
issues.
Um, it's a, it's a daytreatment program over there.
So so, if you want to reach out, you can Awesome.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
This has been so great.
I appreciate you a lot spendingsome time, Brianna, and sharing
the mindset shifts that weshould all have when it comes to
aging.
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