July 1, 2025 • 35 mins
Have you ignored your needs for too long? In this episode, I talk with Jess Beagan about going at your own pace and:
• The benefits of making a career change and weaving more flexibility into your schedule
• Asking for help especially when you’re supporting others in some capacity
• The transition to working from home for an HSP
• Prepping for time off without getting overwhelmed
Jess is a former Recreation Therapist turned Virtual Assistant and Social Media Manager. She seamlessly blends her love for detail, organization, marketing, and design with her professional background in mental health to bring a unique, trauma-informed perspective to her work. Specializing in supporting private practice therapists and coaches, Jess is dedicated to helping elevate their online presence and reclaim valuable time, enabling them to focus on what they do best and grow their practices sustainably. In her downtime, Jess enjoys reading, Pilates, traveling, and cozy moments at home with her partner and their cat, Ginge.
Keep in touch with Jess:
• Website: http://www.virtuallywithjess.com
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/virtuallywithjess
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/virtuallywithjess
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/virtual-assistant-for-therapists-and-coaches
Resources Mentioned:
• Move with Nicole: https://www.youtube.com/c/MoveWithNicole
Thanks for listening! You can read the full show notes and sign up for my email list to get new episode announcements and other resources at:
https://www.sensitivestories.com
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This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Beagan (00:00):
Recently I was looking back at an old journal
and it was weird because I cameacross this entry that said am I
just highly sensitive?
April Snow (00:08):
Oh, are you serious?
Jessica Beagan (00:09):
Yeah, and I didn't know what that meant at
the time, but I was questioningit, not knowing.
It was just like really cool togo back and see that.
I obviously thought about it,but it wasn't like a positive
thing back then when I wasconsidering it, but it crossed
my mind.
April Snow (00:30):
Welcome to Sensitive Stories, the podcast for the
people who live with hearts andeyes wide open.
I'm your host, psychotherapistand author, april Snow.
I invite you to join me as Ideep dive into rich
conversations with fellow highlysensitive people that will
(00:51):
inspire you to live a morefulfilling life as an HSP
without all the overwhelm.
In this episode, I talk withJess Began about making a career
change when you've ignored yourneeds for too long, the
importance of asking for help,especially when you're
supporting others in somecapacity, and the benefits of
weaving in more flexibility intoyour day.
Jess is a former recreationtherapist turned virtual
(01:12):
assistant and social mediamanager.
She seamlessly blends her lovefor detail, organization,
marketing and design with herprofessional background in
mental health to bring a uniquetrauma-informed perspective to
her work.
Specializing in supportingprivate practice therapists and
coaches, jess is dedicated tohelping elevate their online
presence and reclaim valuabletime, enabling them to focus on
(01:35):
what they do best and grow theirpractices sustainably.
In her downtime, jess enjoysreading, pilates, traveling and
cozy moments at home with herpartner and their cat Ginge.
For more HSP resources and tosee behind the scenes video from
the podcast, join me onInstagram, tiktok or YouTube at
(01:56):
Sensitive Strengths or sign upfor my email list.
Links are in the show notes andat sensitivestoriescom.
And just a reminder that thisepisode is for educational
purposes only and is notintended as a substitute for
treatment with a mental healthor medical professional.
Let's dive in, jess.
(02:34):
Welcome to the podcast.
Jessica Beagan (02:36):
Thank you so much for having me, April.
I've been really lookingforward to this for a long time.
April Snow (02:40):
Me too.
Yeah, and for folks who don'tknow, we've worked together
since 2023.
So you have been my right handsupporting me with everything
behind the scenes social mediaadmin, just everything, really.
Jessica Beagan (02:54):
Yeah, it's been a joy and it's so cool to be.
I was just saying April to beon the other side of it now,
because I'm usually editingpodcasts and now I'm in the seat
here.
April Snow (03:02):
I know.
I feel like it's going to be anice opportunity for us to have
a different kind of conversationtogether.
Jessica Beagan (03:07):
Yeah.
April Snow (03:08):
Lovely.
Let's start off by hearing yourHSP discovery story.
How or when did you realizethat you're an HSP?
Jessica Beagan (03:16):
Yeah.
So I guess in third yearuniversity was when I found out
that I was an HSP and Idiscovered Dr Lane-Aaron's trait
highly sensitive person.
So that was about 10 years ago.
At the time I was in a reallycompetitive nutrition program.
It was very like cutthroat.
Everyone was competing for aninternship.
And I got to third year and Iwas just like I don't think I
(03:38):
want this enough.
It was like I can't justifyputting in the work to pursue
this.
And I kind of started panickingbecause everyone else around me
was very they knew what theywere doing, they're going for
this internship and I just hadthis moment of oh my gosh, what
am I doing with my life?
And I started just, yeah,googling.
I was like, what career can Ido?
And I knew that I was an INFJ.
(03:59):
So I started Googling careersfor INFJs and somehow, somehow
through that I came across ahighly sensitive person and that
was just, like most of yourguests say, the biggest aha,
like relief moment of just oh mygosh, like I'm not broken.
Yes, yeah, because I feel likefor so long I was like, oh,
there's just, there must besomething wrong with me, or I
(04:20):
think I just felt a lot of shameabout who I was, because you
just you hear all these messagesyour whole life of you're too
quiet, you're this, speak upmore, whatever.
And yeah, I was just sorelieving and I ran out and told
my roommate I was like, oh mygosh, that's a thing called like
highly sensitive person andyeah, so it was just super
relieving to find that out makessense.
April Snow (04:43):
It would come at a time where you're pushing
yourself beyond your limits andI love that you had that
question of is this really worthit I think I'm paraphrasing but
just to be able to pullyourself out of that cycle and I
don't know if I want to do this.
Yeah, for sure I think that'swhere a lot of HSPs they go on a
search.
I hear this so much.
Something's not working.
(05:04):
I feel different.
There's just something about meI need to figure out and we go
down that rabbit hole and I'mnot surprised.
The INFJ link to the HSP trait.
A lot of HSPs are INFJs, sothat makes sense to me that you
would have found it somehow inyour search.
A lot of overlap there.
Jessica Beagan (05:30):
Yeah, the relief was just amazing, because I
don't know if you relate to thisor other HSPs, but everything
in life just felt like astruggle up to that point where,
especially elementary school inparticular, it was just like
the group sports, the lights,sounds, expectations, the
speeches, everything was like Iwas just a very anxious kid and
everything was really hard.
So, yeah, knowing that therewas a term for that was very,
very relieving.
And it didn't immediately startmaking changes, I would say
even until the last year, to behonest, when I started over a
(05:52):
year now working with you, butthat kind of got, I would say,
like the ball rolling on myoutlook on everything.
April Snow (05:58):
Yeah, it's really a process and, yeah, a lot of us
were anxious kids and we didn'tknow what was really going on.
Look back and you're like, oh,it all makes sense now.
Yes, yeah, I'm curious.
So you knew you were an anxiouskid, but did you ever think, oh
, I'm more sensitive orsomething's different about me?
Was that pretty obvious?
I?
Jessica Beagan (06:18):
don't know.
I think for the most part itwas just like something's wrong
with me but, I, will say, evenrecently I was looking back at
an old journal and because Iwould just journal when I was
going through something, or thatwas just kind of way to cope,
and I it was weird because Icame across this entry.
That said, am I just highlysensitive?
oh are you serious, yeah, and Ididn't know what that meant at
(06:40):
the time, but I was questioningit, not knowing, yeah, so it was
just like really cool to goback and see that and I was like
I obviously thought about it,but it wasn't a positive thing
back then when I was consideringit, but it crossed my mind
obviously, yeah.
April Snow (06:55):
Wow, you captured that language not fully knowing
what it was, but something thatyou just knew.
I'm more sensitive.
Yeah, yeah, I just felt likechills.
Jessica Beagan (07:08):
No, that's how I felt too.
I was like, wow, it wasn't evenjust sensitive, right.
It was like, am I highlysensitive?
And I was like, wow, that'sreally cool, I should frame that
or something Seriously.
April Snow (07:19):
Absolutely Cause I don't think.
Growing up I don't think I hadthe classic you're too sensitive
.
It was implied in other ways,but I don't know that I realized
it directly.
Oh, I'm sensitive.
There's other clues of havingsensory overwhelm and being more
emotional or finding a lot ofmeaning in things that other
people didn't care about.
Jessica Beagan (07:42):
Yeah.
April Snow (07:42):
Oh for sure that was a big one for me too, but just
now it's oh yeah, now it allfits together.
But I love that you had thatlink looking back.
So just I'm curious, now thatyou have the whole picture you
can look from childhood to now,would you say that?
You said you thought somethingwas wrong with you, so I'm
guessing you didn't reallyembrace those parts of you.
Were you trying to fit yourselfinto a non-HSP mold, trying to
(08:04):
be different?
Definitely?
Jessica Beagan (08:05):
yeah, very much, just felt like I just always
had to push harder than otherpeople.
Yeah, always pushing myself,always comparing, and I felt
like I was just behind in a lotof ways, like I had to sleep
more and I just struggled morewith group things and yeah, so
always felt like I had to pushmyself and but it got to the
point where it becameself-destructive in a way.
Sometimes it was felt like Ihad to push myself and but it
got to the point where it becameself-destructive in a way.
(08:27):
Sometimes it was good, like Iwill say, I'm proud of myself
for pushing myself in some areasand sometimes it feels like
spiritual and it turned outgreat.
But there was also the otherside of I was very aggressively
pushing myself in certain areas,particularly when it comes to
work and school and all of thatstuff.
Yeah, so even after I found outabout being highly sensitive and
(08:48):
I was trying to find a newcareer, I ended up going into
recreation therapy, which was anamazing career path, very
fulfilling, but weirdly enough,it like does require a lot of
group work and like speaking infront of people and a lot of
adapting quickly and like alittle bit of unpredictability
sometimes.
(09:08):
And in my head I was like I'mnot good at group stuff or it's
hard for me, like I should justdo a career in that because I
need to get better at it.
That's what my thought processwas, but it just.
It obviously caught up to meeventually and I will say, like
I probably got a little bitbetter, but I was sacrificing my
like.
I had other strengths thatweren't being used and I was
just pushing myself in thatdirection.
(09:30):
Yeah, so lots and lots ofpushing.
April Snow (09:34):
Yeah, I feel like this is such a common experience
for us because, like, we dowant to try to keep up with
everybody else, but that gap isso large and we do need so much
more rest and self-care anddowntime.
It's like how I was askingmyself this question like how
much should I push?
Because I definitely don't wantto keep myself too limited.
(09:55):
I have goals and dreams andinterests.
I think what you're talkingabout is you hit that point
where you're like this is toofar.
I'm going to go into recreationtherapy to stretch myself, but
is this actually sustainable?
Jessica Beagan (10:08):
Yeah, yeah, and it just I was ignoring the signs
of when it was too much,Whereas if I had just listened
to that I could have pivoted,gone a different direction.
But it was like the ignoringand then it got worse.
Yeah.
April Snow (10:21):
That's the piece, right.
It's's like we don't even takeinto account our needs yeah,
it's just I'm just so used to itlike your whole life.
Jessica Beagan (10:28):
You're just, yeah, not meeting your needs.
April Snow (10:30):
And then yeah, yeah, it's easy to do, especially
when there's so much pressurefrom the outside to just bypass
what you need as a sensitiveperson yeah for folks who don't
know, could you just give a blip, a little blurb about what
recreation therapy is?
Jessica Beagan (10:45):
I had this down to a T and now it's been so long
.
Yeah sure, essentially, it's aprocess where you're using
recreation, leisure and otherinterventions to improve
people's well-being.
It's a very holistic field.
You can work with a variety ofpopulations like seniors, people
with addictions, developmentaldisabilities lots of people.
(11:07):
So using essentially recreationto improve their quality of
life.
April Snow (11:11):
I love that.
I don't know if we have that inthe US.
Maybe we do.
Jessica Beagan (11:15):
It's, yeah, it's not a huge.
What's the word Like?
April Snow (11:18):
it's not heard of in a lot of places.
Jessica Beagan (11:19):
Yeah, it's like underground still in a lot of
areas.
Yeah, if it is in the US, it'sprobably not as prevalent in
health care.
April Snow (11:26):
Yet yeah, seems like it should be, though.
So when you think about beingmore sensitive, it didn't serve
you in recreation therapybecause you were kind of pushing
yourself too far.
Too much group work, too muchbeing on.
It sounds like yeah, but I'mcurious overall, how would you
say being sensitive has impactedyou, maybe in your work now or
in your personal life?
Good, question.
Jessica Beagan (11:48):
Yeah, I feel like it now that I've embraced
it more and have just acceptedmy need to live, like a little
bit differently.
I do see more of the strengthswhere it's like the attention to
detail and like the creativity,the conscientiousness, the
being really organized, alsojust the empathy too and caring.
(12:10):
A lot shows up more obviouslywhen you're taking care of
yourself.
So those were always there whenI was pushing myself, but they
got lost sometimes, especiallywhen I wasn't doing as well.
But yeah, now that I'm takingcare of my needs a little bit
more, those just shine throughand I just enjoy doing things
that utilize those skills too.
Like I'm not running groupswhere I'm like, oh, I don't feel
(12:31):
like super great doing this orthat was a lot.
It just comes very natural whenI get to use those skills.
April Snow (12:36):
Yeah, I think this is why a lot of HSPs are drawn
to helping professions, becausewe do get to bring our empathy
and our perception and all thosethings that really help to see
people and support people.
Also, it's overwhelming, yeah.
Jessica Beagan (12:51):
In healthcare too, I just feel like it's just
so busy and there's so muchgoing on.
So if I was running like halfthe groups I was, it might've
been a little bit better.
But there's so much going onall the time and groups coming
in and out and yeah, it's justhard up the empathy when you're,
it's becomes overwhelming it'shard because at least I remember
for me working with couples ordoing group therapy you're
(13:11):
managing the dynamics betweenthe people also yes yes, for me
it can get stressful yes, thatwas always quite interesting
where things yeah, in mentalhealth addiction it was fun
sometimes, but it was yeah,that's like a whole other level
of overwhelm that can happenwith that.
April Snow (13:29):
Yeah, it is, it really is.
So you hit a point where you'relike, okay, I don't want to
stay in this nutrition program.
I'm working as a recreationtherapist.
This also isn't a good fit.
So then you decide to pivotagain as you continue to learn
about yourself.
Jessica Beagan (13:44):
So I'm wondering if you I was working as a
recreation therapist in mentalhealth and addiction and it was
going great for a while, butthen it just took a turn where,
like I said, the pushing caughtup, and I think it was in 2021
when I developed some prettysevere insomnia and I had never
(14:06):
had insomnia before.
So that really just took a tollon me in so many different ways
.
I also was starting to havesome anxiety attacks and it was
like things were just goingreally downhill.
So, yeah, eventually just gotto the point where I was like
nobody's winning here.
Like I just kept pushing myselfso hard.
(14:27):
I'm like why I'm not winning?
No one's benefiting from mebeing in this state trying to
pretend I'm okay.
I think that's would help memake that decision, that
transition, because it was hardand scary, because it was a risk
, like I didn't.
I had one small VA client at thetime when I decided but yeah,
(14:49):
it had just been going on for solong.
I was like it's very necessarydecision.
I feel like it had to happen.
I thought about it for a while.
I was a typical HSP.
It wasn't like a quick decisionand I did have, luckily, like,
my coworkers and stuff werereally supportive of that and
that was really nice, yeah, andso I decided I got to take the
(15:10):
risk and luckily, I ended up.
I quit at the end of December2022, I think, and then, within
a month, I had a new clientright and I was like working
full-time as a VA, which waslike wow, I don't even have
words for the gratitude of ohyeah, it was just amazing.
April Snow (15:32):
It's like you, someone caught you.
Jessica Beagan (15:35):
Yeah, that's what it.
Yeah Cause I was like, okay,I'm struggling, I have to make a
change, I have my foot in thedoor somewhere, it's something.
But to give me momentum.
But I was like this could notwork and so I felt like I was
like rewarded for taking a risk,which was just like, oh, this
is yeah, it was a really greatfeeling.
April Snow (15:57):
Yeah, hey, this is the right choice, because it is
scary to just leap and you don'tquite know what's next yeah,
and I think too it also felt.
Jessica Beagan (16:07):
I think there's just an element of feeling like
I was failing which was hard,like I had already.
I was in nutrition and then Iwent to recreation therapy and
I've been working in that forfour years and I was like, oh,
I'm going to pivot again and Ijust you just can't help but
feel like, oh, I'm failing,cause I worked so hard to get to
where I was.
So that was really hard.
But yeah, I don't feel likethat anymore, like it felt very
(16:31):
it's also very full circle too,because I was like I want to
continue working with therapistsand so that kind of brought it
all home and made it feel likethis was all worth it.
I had to go through all that toget to where I am now.
Yeah, so just very grateful, Imade the leap.
April Snow (16:47):
I think I think this is a common response is oh, if
I have to make multiple changes,I must have failed at something
.
But really I've started tothink about it as that kind of
stacking of experience.
Right, I did this and that tookme to here and that takes me to
the next place, and I couldn'thave got to the present day
(17:07):
without going through everythingthat happened in the past.
It's true, yeah, if we couldreframe that, because I think
about when I went in myundergrad, I studied plant
biology and I thought, oh,that's a waste.
I thought that was a waste fora long time because I didn't use
the degree, but then I realizedhaving a degree got me into
grad school, which then got meto become a therapist, which is
what I really wanted to do, andit wasn't a waste.
Jessica Beagan (17:28):
Yeah, Never a waste ever.
April Snow (17:35):
It's never a waste and it gave me a lot of insights
about how I was treating myselfthen and how I wasn't really
listening to my needs, andthere's just a lot of insight
looking back and I think that'ssuch a good reminder that just
because you invested some energyinto something some time, you
can still make a change Totally.
Jessica Beagan (17:47):
Yeah, and it's funny because I don't think I
would even be in this, doingthis work I'm doing, if I didn't
go into rec therapy, because Iwas like scrolling on reels one
day and I came across a rectherapist who had been in a
similar position, where she wasduring COVID or just after, I
think, and she had burnt out inhealth care.
She was very introverted, shereferred to herself as like a
(18:07):
home body and she was now in theonline space and I was like, oh
my god, I just immediatelyreached out to her Cause I was
like I relate, like I want to dothat too, like I'm also feeling
burnt out, and she was the onethat kind of got me into this
whole field.
So, yeah, it was all all worthit, all part of the process.
April Snow (18:29):
I love that.
I was wondering how thatconnection point happened and
how beautiful that it was fromsomeone who walked through this
for you.
Jessica Beagan (18:38):
Yeah, yeah, so incredibly grateful for her.
She connected me with anothertherapist and I had at the time,
like a small another businesson the side selling wood signs
and so I leveraged thatexperience and obviously my
healthcare experience and, yeah,I just snowballed from there.
So it was just really lucky tocome across her.
It was, yeah, amazing.
April Snow (19:00):
Yeah, I think it's so cool how you can look at what
little threads could I pull on.
Yeah, what skills are you usingin your role as a VA that maybe
you weren't using before as arecreational therapist?
Jessica Beagan (19:13):
Yeah, I think a lot of attention to detail for
sure, things like organization,creativity.
I feel like in my other role Iwas I might have been using
those a little bit, but it wasmore heavily focused on like
running groups and being able toadapt really quickly, and I
obviously proved to myself thatI could do those things, but I
(19:34):
wasn't thriving doing that atall.
So I feel like working as a VAnow I actually get to like
really tap into those skills andjust hone in on those strengths
and it fills my cup so muchmore rather than depleting me,
which is what was happeningbefore.
So that's just been huge and,yeah, I feel so much better.
Being able to especially justbeing more like task oriented
(19:58):
and having that predictabilityhas been huge for me and knowing
like what tasks I have to dofor the month and just makes you
feel good too, I think,self-esteem wise, because before
I was like doing okay, gettingby, doing some stuff, and I'm
probably harder myself thanother people.
But yeah, being in to do allthese other tasks as a VA now it
(20:20):
just makes you feel betterbecause you're doing a better
job, because those are like yourstrengths.
April Snow (20:23):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense because you get to
be a full human and you'rereally I think we're similar and
you have these kind of multipleparts of you that you're
creative and artistic, butyou're also really organized and
detailed and in my experienceas a therapist, you only really
get to show up as maybe well, inthe clinical role you show up
(20:45):
as your empathetic self, yourcaring self, your relational
self, but there's all theseother parts like the detail,
orientation and like the drive,and that I need other outlets
for that, and so I couldunderstand that role might've
been pretty limiting where, yeah, you don't get to use all of
the parts of you.
Jessica Beagan (21:02):
Yeah, a hundred percent, yeah, and it was just,
the balance was off and I couldtell by the end.
I was craving just like that,predictability and I was like
someone give me a task that'sjust simple, and I know what to
do and I can get it done andI'll do it well, and I just
wanted that, yeah, a little bitmore of that organization and
calmness and predictability.
April Snow (21:20):
Yeah, that, yeah, predictability.
And also I loved that you.
I felt that when you said, justgive me a task to do, I want to
check it off the list.
Jessica Beagan (21:28):
Yes, yeah, because things were just being
like thrown at me and I was likehaving to like do this dance
and yeah.
So just give me a task.
I just want to do somethingthat I know is expected of me
and I can do it Like that's allI wanted.
April Snow (21:40):
Yeah, to actually complete the circle.
You don't get to see that whenyou're working with client work.
Eventually it happens, but it'spretty murky or it's not
tangible.
You might see progress, but youcan't really like always put
your hands around it in themoment and the day to day.
So that is definitely can be amissing piece to keep you moving
, to keep you motivated.
Jessica Beagan (22:02):
Yeah 100%.
April Snow (22:03):
Yeah, and I know, in this transition that you've had
with your career, you've movedfrom being in groups being super
on all the time to workingexclusively from home.
So I'm just wondering what hasthat's a big transition.
I'm wondering what that's beenlike for you.
Jessica Beagan (22:16):
Yeah, it's been such a wild transition I would
say honestly, like life-savingin so many ways.
Just, I always my dream waslike to work from home for so
long and I just think as an HSP,it's so essential Like I can't
really imagine not working fromhome now.
Like I just need that controlover my environment.
(22:38):
I love being able to plan outmy own schedule and if I'm
having an off day or like Ididn't sleep well, right, like I
still tend to sometimesstruggle with insomnia, so like
I can push things a day if Ineed to, I can dim the lights
right, like my old workplacethere's like classic classroom
lights right, which on my lunchbreak I would shut them off
(22:59):
because it was just too much forme.
So, yeah, that's beenabsolutely amazing is just being
able to have that flexibilityand freedom and quiet.
Like you're not on all the timeand masking and have people
around.
Yeah, you just get a bit morequiet and peace and get to move
at your own pace, which has beenhuge too, because sometimes
(23:19):
you're like you know what.
I need to go slower today, or Ineed to like lay down in my bed
for 10 minutes or something,and I just yeah, I just realized
at this point in my life like Ireally need that.
It's really hard not to havethat or to have someone
dictating my every move and likewhen I take my breaks and stuff
.
It's really hard.
So, yeah, I mean it didn't comewith.
It's like there's pros and cons, obviously, but I had to learn
(23:43):
how to run a business and dotaxes and like, at first you are
working a lot because you'relike getting everything set up,
you're getting your social mediaset up and your website, and
it's a bit of a balance that Istruggled with that in the
beginning, but the payoff waslike I have no words.
It was just like incredible,yeah, just to be able to, yeah,
have that flexibility, and then,over time, things like settle
(24:05):
down a bit.
You start getting in the grooveof stuff.
You get your routines in placewhere you go for walks and you
get out of the house and whatnot.
So, yeah, it's been absolutelygame-changing as a HSP in every
way, the flexibility, theautonomy is so key for us.
April Snow (24:21):
You mentioned getting to go lay down for 10
minutes.
That is something that youreally can't replace and just
being able to take care ofyourself when you need it and
not trying to put yourself inthis box and constantly going
some of what we talk about goingbeyond your limits.
There's definitely a relearningin that right, because when I
first started being a therapistand having my own business and I
(24:43):
had worked retail for yearsthroughout college, I was an
outdoor food store manager andthen I was a buyer and so I was
always on someone else'stimeline, always working
holidays and weekends and nights.
Someone else's timeline, alwaysworking holidays and weekends
and nights.
So it took me a long time torealize.
Jessica Beagan (24:57):
Oh, wait, I have choice.
Yeah yeah, it's weird at firstLike it's almost uncomfortable,
and then you lean into it moreand you're like, oh, this is
what I've been needing.
April Snow (25:04):
Yeah, exactly, it's foreign in a lot of ways.
Oh, you can actually rest whenyou need to, yeah.
Jessica Beagan (25:12):
Very foreign at first.
April Snow (25:13):
And you can actually say I'm going to do this in an
hour.
I'm going to do this tomorrow,because that's when I'll have
the energy for it.
I know that can be a privilegefor a lot of us and also it's
life-changing, yeah, yeah.
So making sure you're workingin sensory-friendly environment
at home, resting when you needto, having flexibility.
(25:35):
What are some other ways thatyou take care of yourself?
Refill your tank.
Jessica Beagan (25:39):
Walks are really big for me.
I try to go for like anon-negotiable walk every day,
sometimes longer ones, likeafter work, just to decompress,
let my mind wander a little bit,process everything.
I love Pilates too, yeah.
So Move With Nicole on YouTubeis amazing.
She's very gentle and just,yeah, has some like really
(26:00):
amazing workouts.
I always love doing those.
I also like to read.
I play video games sometimes,which is like something I did as
a kid, so that's reallycomforting and nostalgic.
And then, yeah, also sometimes,like on the weekend, I will.
I love having a day where I canget up and get myself like a
(26:21):
treat, like a iced coffee orlike a.
I love desserts and stuff, justsomething that brings me joy.
And then maybe watching a moviewith my partner and getting
takeout, and those kind of daysare like my favorite.
They're just really fills mycup and, yeah, getting cozy and
cuddling with my cat too.
April Snow (26:42):
Shout out to Mr Ginge.
Jessica Beagan (26:45):
Mr Ginge is the best.
Yeah, so those are like themain ways I would say I recharge
, also travel, that's fills meup in a different way, because
it can be a lot sometimes, butit does fill me up in a very
different way.
Yeah, those are the kind of howI give back to myself and I
love it.
April Snow (27:03):
As you were describing the weekend, I was
like that's the perfect day.
You get a treat, you cozy upwith a movie yeah and you spend
time with your person and yourpet and, oh the best, so cozy
and comforting the best yeah, Ilove it.
So when you are I was thinkingabout travel and, as a service
provider, being in a supportrole it can be hard to step away
(27:25):
.
So I'm wondering if you couldspeak more to, because I think
this is something HSP strugglewith.
A lot is taking time away.
When you are supporting someone, whether it's at work or in
your personal life, how do youprep for time away?
Jessica Beagan (27:36):
whether it's at work or in your personal life.
How do you prep for time away?
Yeah, so we have a really youand I have a great system where
I prep ahead a lot to be able totake time off, and I usually
give myself like two to threemonths, I would say, to get
ahead on some tasks.
And I give myself that time tolike prevent overwhelm, because
I've definitely been inpositions where I didn't give
myself enough time and it justgets to be too much.
(27:58):
So I always give April a headsup and be like hey, I'm going to
take a couple weeks off andApril's amazing and she helps
also get ahead on some stuff.
So we get ahead on like socialmedia and a little bit of admin,
and we just do a little bitevery month, just plugging away
at things.
And then, yeah, before we knowit, I'm going away next month
(28:22):
for two weeks and we're stillplugging away, but it just
doesn't feel as overwhelmingbecause we're planning ahead of
time, which is so essential.
Yeah, and then also sometimes,if there's capacity or if April
has like a slower month, there'ssome like mutual
decision-making of okay, do youwant to go down a little bit in
hours, which is so helpfulsometimes because I do lots of
(28:43):
work for April and there's justnatural breaks.
Sometimes we've realized likethroughout the year, where we
can just put things down for alittle bit and both of us can
take a break, like we don't haveto be posting on social media
every week of the year, kind ofthing.
So, yeah, definitely planningahead has been huge and
communicating with your if it'syour boss, or, yeah, in my case,
me and April yeah, superessential.
April Snow (29:06):
Yeah, the planning ahead and breaking it down into
manageable bites has been sohelpful.
We've been, yeah, now thatwe've gotten in the rhythm the
past few years.
We're like, oh, we'll take thethree months leading up to a
trip or a break for either oneof us.
And we just slowly chip away atit and it doesn't feel like
extra work, honestly.
Jessica Beagan (29:26):
Yeah, so much more manageable.
April Snow (29:27):
It's so much more manageable because on paper that
could be daunting.
You're trying to fit in a wholemonth of work over two or three
months before.
No, it just feels easy.
And of work over two or threemonths before.
No, it just feels easy, andthen we both get a break, which
I'm also looking forward to.
Yeah, oh, a month without doingthese certain tasks, oh, what
else might I do?
Might take some extra time formyself, or right now I'm working
on a book, so I'm going to pourthat into writing, which is
(29:50):
also meaningful to me, but itjust gives you other.
There's other areas you canshow up in when you take that
time, exactly, yep, and we'velearned because we're both
creating a lot.
Yes, whether it's creatingsocial media posts, blogs,
videos, podcast episodes, books,there's a lot of things we're
putting out there supportingclients You're supporting me and
your other clients, supportingmy therapy clients, my
(30:12):
consulting clients.
Jessica Beagan (30:13):
We've learned that we can't skip those breaks,
and now we're figuring out howdo we build them in yes yeah,
that's important yeah, and justknowing, too, like creative
energy is not the same as, like,maybe, admin energy, or just
like being really careful withwhen you use that energy and how
much of it you use, and becausewe're both doing that in
(30:34):
different ways.
So just being smart with thattoo and knowing, like, how much
do you actually have to give andwhen do you have to pull back,
or yeah, exactly, just make sureit's sustainable and always
giving yourself something tolook forward to, like knowing
there's time off, whether it bein the summer or for the
holidays, we know, okay, we'vegot that space coming up For me
that helps a lot.
(30:54):
Yes, yeah, it up For me.
That helps a lot.
Yes, yeah, it just adds morejoy to your life.
There's like something comingup?
April Snow (31:01):
Yeah, exactly For sure.
And speaking of you supportingothers so much, I'm wondering
does that support get to comeback to you in any way?
Jessica Beagan (31:08):
Yeah, I would say I mostly rely on my partner
a lot for, like, when it comesto asking for help and stuff.
He's so amazing.
There'll be days where I'm likeoverstimulated or I'm just like
, oh, I just can't go out today,I don't want to leave the house
.
So he'll like go get groceriesfor me, which is really
appreciated.
Or he like cooks dinner a lotand usually we'll maybe trade
(31:31):
off or I'll do the dishes orsomething.
But yeah, he'll just be reallyhelpful at stepping in and just
like taking some different tasksoff my plate when maybe I'm
feeling overwhelmed or justanxious or just need a little
bit more downtime.
Yeah, so very grateful for him.
He's definitely my go-to forasking for help you really need
that, don't you?
yeah, that person you can leanon and say, yeah, I can't go out
(31:54):
today yeah, yeah, he's not anHSP, so it works out really well
because he has his limits too,but he just, yeah, he
understands, and I'm like I justreally can't go to the grocery
store right now.
If you could, that'd be soamazing.
So, yeah, really grateful forthat.
April Snow (32:08):
Yeah, it's been very helpful and always heartwarming
for me to know oh, Jess isgetting some support too.
Jessica Beagan (32:13):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
April Snow (32:19):
Jess too.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Just as we start to wrap up,I'm wondering, thinking about
the listeners out there who aremaybe pushing themselves too
hard or thinking about how theycould get help.
Is there a message you couldleave?
Jessica Beagan (32:25):
them with.
I would say that slowing down,switching careers or doing less
doesn't mean that you're failingas HSPs.
I think we need to carve ourown path sometimes, and a lot of
people won't understand, andthat's okay, but we need to do
something different usually.
(32:46):
And yeah, you deserve and trulyneed to live a life that
supports your sensitive needs.
Like I said, if you're not like, no one's winning.
So, yeah, listen to yourintuition and don't be afraid to
take a risk and go against thegrain love it.
Thank you, jess yeah, thank youso much, amaryl, I really
(33:07):
appreciate it.
April Snow (33:08):
No, it's been lovely getting to just have our
conversations deepen a littlebit more.
I get to know a little bit moreabout you other than what I've
already known.
Yeah, I'm excited for folks tolisten to this and if they want
to follow up with you, I'll besure to share your website, your
social media and the show notesif they'd like to keep in touch
.
Great, thank you, april.
This has been awesome.
(33:28):
This is amazing.
Thanks so much for joining meand Jess for today's
conversation.
The message I hope you'll takeaway is that change is not a
failure, but an opportunity toreset and live a life more in
(33:48):
alignment with the pace thatsuits your sensitivity.
You can find Jess on Instagramat virtuallywithjess, or at her
website website,virtuallywithjesscom.
All links are in the show notes.
If you enjoyed this episode,subscribe to the Sensitive
Stories podcast so you don'tmiss our upcoming conversations.
Reviews and ratings are alsohelpful and appreciated For
(34:11):
behind-the-scenes content andmore HSB resources.
You can sign up for my emaillist or follow Sensitive
Strengths on Instagram, tiktokand YouTube.
Check out the show notes orsensitivestoriescom for all the
resources from today's episode.
Thanks for listening.
Recently I was looking back at an old journal
and it was weird because I cameacross this entry that said am I
just highly sensitive?
April Snow (00:08):
Oh, are you serious?
Jessica Beagan (00:09):
Yeah, and I didn't know what that meant at
the time, but I was questioningit, not knowing.
It was just like really cool togo back and see that.
I obviously thought about it,but it wasn't like a positive
thing back then when I wasconsidering it, but it crossed
my mind.
April Snow (00:30):
Welcome to Sensitive Stories, the podcast for the
people who live with hearts andeyes wide open.
I'm your host, psychotherapistand author, april Snow.
I invite you to join me as Ideep dive into rich
conversations with fellow highlysensitive people that will
(00:51):
inspire you to live a morefulfilling life as an HSP
without all the overwhelm.
In this episode, I talk withJess Began about making a career
change when you've ignored yourneeds for too long, the
importance of asking for help,especially when you're
supporting others in somecapacity, and the benefits of
weaving in more flexibility intoyour day.
Jess is a former recreationtherapist turned virtual
(01:12):
assistant and social mediamanager.
She seamlessly blends her lovefor detail, organization,
marketing and design with herprofessional background in
mental health to bring a uniquetrauma-informed perspective to
her work.
Specializing in supportingprivate practice therapists and
coaches, jess is dedicated tohelping elevate their online
presence and reclaim valuabletime, enabling them to focus on
(01:35):
what they do best and grow theirpractices sustainably.
In her downtime, jess enjoysreading, pilates, traveling and
cozy moments at home with herpartner and their cat Ginge.
For more HSP resources and tosee behind the scenes video from
the podcast, join me onInstagram, tiktok or YouTube at
(01:56):
Sensitive Strengths or sign upfor my email list.
Links are in the show notes andat sensitivestoriescom.
And just a reminder that thisepisode is for educational
purposes only and is notintended as a substitute for
treatment with a mental healthor medical professional.
Let's dive in, jess.
(02:34):
Welcome to the podcast.
Jessica Beagan (02:36):
Thank you so much for having me, April.
I've been really lookingforward to this for a long time.
April Snow (02:40):
Me too.
Yeah, and for folks who don'tknow, we've worked together
since 2023.
So you have been my right handsupporting me with everything
behind the scenes social mediaadmin, just everything, really.
Jessica Beagan (02:54):
Yeah, it's been a joy and it's so cool to be.
I was just saying April to beon the other side of it now,
because I'm usually editingpodcasts and now I'm in the seat
here.
April Snow (03:02):
I know.
I feel like it's going to be anice opportunity for us to have
a different kind of conversationtogether.
Jessica Beagan (03:07):
Yeah.
April Snow (03:08):
Lovely.
Let's start off by hearing yourHSP discovery story.
How or when did you realizethat you're an HSP?
Jessica Beagan (03:16):
Yeah.
So I guess in third yearuniversity was when I found out
that I was an HSP and Idiscovered Dr Lane-Aaron's trait
highly sensitive person.
So that was about 10 years ago.
At the time I was in a reallycompetitive nutrition program.
It was very like cutthroat.
Everyone was competing for aninternship.
And I got to third year and Iwas just like I don't think I
(03:38):
want this enough.
It was like I can't justifyputting in the work to pursue
this.
And I kind of started panickingbecause everyone else around me
was very they knew what theywere doing, they're going for
this internship and I just hadthis moment of oh my gosh, what
am I doing with my life?
And I started just, yeah,googling.
I was like, what career can Ido?
And I knew that I was an INFJ.
(03:59):
So I started Googling careersfor INFJs and somehow, somehow
through that I came across ahighly sensitive person and that
was just, like most of yourguests say, the biggest aha,
like relief moment of just oh mygosh, like I'm not broken.
Yes, yeah, because I feel likefor so long I was like, oh,
there's just, there must besomething wrong with me, or I
(04:20):
think I just felt a lot of shameabout who I was, because you
just you hear all these messagesyour whole life of you're too
quiet, you're this, speak upmore, whatever.
And yeah, I was just sorelieving and I ran out and told
my roommate I was like, oh mygosh, that's a thing called like
highly sensitive person andyeah, so it was just super
relieving to find that out makessense.
April Snow (04:43):
It would come at a time where you're pushing
yourself beyond your limits andI love that you had that
question of is this really worthit I think I'm paraphrasing but
just to be able to pullyourself out of that cycle and I
don't know if I want to do this.
Yeah, for sure I think that'swhere a lot of HSPs they go on a
search.
I hear this so much.
Something's not working.
(05:04):
I feel different.
There's just something about meI need to figure out and we go
down that rabbit hole and I'mnot surprised.
The INFJ link to the HSP trait.
A lot of HSPs are INFJs, sothat makes sense to me that you
would have found it somehow inyour search.
A lot of overlap there.
Jessica Beagan (05:30):
Yeah, the relief was just amazing, because I
don't know if you relate to thisor other HSPs, but everything
in life just felt like astruggle up to that point where,
especially elementary school inparticular, it was just like
the group sports, the lights,sounds, expectations, the
speeches, everything was like Iwas just a very anxious kid and
everything was really hard.
So, yeah, knowing that therewas a term for that was very,
very relieving.
And it didn't immediately startmaking changes, I would say
even until the last year, to behonest, when I started over a
(05:52):
year now working with you, butthat kind of got, I would say,
like the ball rolling on myoutlook on everything.
April Snow (05:58):
Yeah, it's really a process and, yeah, a lot of us
were anxious kids and we didn'tknow what was really going on.
Look back and you're like, oh,it all makes sense now.
Yes, yeah, I'm curious.
So you knew you were an anxiouskid, but did you ever think, oh
, I'm more sensitive orsomething's different about me?
Was that pretty obvious?
I?
Jessica Beagan (06:18):
don't know.
I think for the most part itwas just like something's wrong
with me but, I, will say, evenrecently I was looking back at
an old journal and because Iwould just journal when I was
going through something, or thatwas just kind of way to cope,
and I it was weird because Icame across this entry.
That said, am I just highlysensitive?
oh are you serious, yeah, and Ididn't know what that meant at
(06:40):
the time, but I was questioningit, not knowing, yeah, so it was
just like really cool to goback and see that and I was like
I obviously thought about it,but it wasn't a positive thing
back then when I was consideringit, but it crossed my mind
obviously, yeah.
April Snow (06:55):
Wow, you captured that language not fully knowing
what it was, but something thatyou just knew.
I'm more sensitive.
Yeah, yeah, I just felt likechills.
Jessica Beagan (07:08):
No, that's how I felt too.
I was like, wow, it wasn't evenjust sensitive, right.
It was like, am I highlysensitive?
And I was like, wow, that'sreally cool, I should frame that
or something Seriously.
April Snow (07:19):
Absolutely Cause I don't think.
Growing up I don't think I hadthe classic you're too sensitive
.
It was implied in other ways,but I don't know that I realized
it directly.
Oh, I'm sensitive.
There's other clues of havingsensory overwhelm and being more
emotional or finding a lot ofmeaning in things that other
people didn't care about.
Jessica Beagan (07:42):
Yeah.
April Snow (07:42):
Oh for sure that was a big one for me too, but just
now it's oh yeah, now it allfits together.
But I love that you had thatlink looking back.
So just I'm curious, now thatyou have the whole picture you
can look from childhood to now,would you say that?
You said you thought somethingwas wrong with you, so I'm
guessing you didn't reallyembrace those parts of you.
Were you trying to fit yourselfinto a non-HSP mold, trying to
(08:04):
be different?
Definitely?
Jessica Beagan (08:05):
yeah, very much, just felt like I just always
had to push harder than otherpeople.
Yeah, always pushing myself,always comparing, and I felt
like I was just behind in a lotof ways, like I had to sleep
more and I just struggled morewith group things and yeah, so
always felt like I had to pushmyself and but it got to the
point where it becameself-destructive in a way.
Sometimes it was felt like Ihad to push myself and but it
got to the point where it becameself-destructive in a way.
(08:27):
Sometimes it was good, like Iwill say, I'm proud of myself
for pushing myself in some areasand sometimes it feels like
spiritual and it turned outgreat.
But there was also the otherside of I was very aggressively
pushing myself in certain areas,particularly when it comes to
work and school and all of thatstuff.
Yeah, so even after I found outabout being highly sensitive and
(08:48):
I was trying to find a newcareer, I ended up going into
recreation therapy, which was anamazing career path, very
fulfilling, but weirdly enough,it like does require a lot of
group work and like speaking infront of people and a lot of
adapting quickly and like alittle bit of unpredictability
sometimes.
(09:08):
And in my head I was like I'mnot good at group stuff or it's
hard for me, like I should justdo a career in that because I
need to get better at it.
That's what my thought processwas, but it just.
It obviously caught up to meeventually and I will say, like
I probably got a little bitbetter, but I was sacrificing my
like.
I had other strengths thatweren't being used and I was
just pushing myself in thatdirection.
(09:30):
Yeah, so lots and lots ofpushing.
April Snow (09:34):
Yeah, I feel like this is such a common experience
for us because, like, we dowant to try to keep up with
everybody else, but that gap isso large and we do need so much
more rest and self-care anddowntime.
It's like how I was askingmyself this question like how
much should I push?
Because I definitely don't wantto keep myself too limited.
(09:55):
I have goals and dreams andinterests.
I think what you're talkingabout is you hit that point
where you're like this is toofar.
I'm going to go into recreationtherapy to stretch myself, but
is this actually sustainable?
Jessica Beagan (10:08):
Yeah, yeah, and it just I was ignoring the signs
of when it was too much,Whereas if I had just listened
to that I could have pivoted,gone a different direction.
But it was like the ignoringand then it got worse.
Yeah.
April Snow (10:21):
That's the piece, right.
It's's like we don't even takeinto account our needs yeah,
it's just I'm just so used to itlike your whole life.
Jessica Beagan (10:28):
You're just, yeah, not meeting your needs.
April Snow (10:30):
And then yeah, yeah, it's easy to do, especially
when there's so much pressurefrom the outside to just bypass
what you need as a sensitiveperson yeah for folks who don't
know, could you just give a blip, a little blurb about what
recreation therapy is?
Jessica Beagan (10:45):
I had this down to a T and now it's been so long
.
Yeah sure, essentially, it's aprocess where you're using
recreation, leisure and otherinterventions to improve
people's well-being.
It's a very holistic field.
You can work with a variety ofpopulations like seniors, people
with addictions, developmentaldisabilities lots of people.
(11:07):
So using essentially recreationto improve their quality of
life.
April Snow (11:11):
I love that.
I don't know if we have that inthe US.
Maybe we do.
Jessica Beagan (11:15):
It's, yeah, it's not a huge.
What's the word Like?
April Snow (11:18):
it's not heard of in a lot of places.
Jessica Beagan (11:19):
Yeah, it's like underground still in a lot of
areas.
Yeah, if it is in the US, it'sprobably not as prevalent in
health care.
April Snow (11:26):
Yet yeah, seems like it should be, though.
So when you think about beingmore sensitive, it didn't serve
you in recreation therapybecause you were kind of pushing
yourself too far.
Too much group work, too muchbeing on.
It sounds like yeah, but I'mcurious overall, how would you
say being sensitive has impactedyou, maybe in your work now or
in your personal life?
Good, question.
Jessica Beagan (11:48):
Yeah, I feel like it now that I've embraced
it more and have just acceptedmy need to live, like a little
bit differently.
I do see more of the strengthswhere it's like the attention to
detail and like the creativity,the conscientiousness, the
being really organized, alsojust the empathy too and caring.
(12:10):
A lot shows up more obviouslywhen you're taking care of
yourself.
So those were always there whenI was pushing myself, but they
got lost sometimes, especiallywhen I wasn't doing as well.
But yeah, now that I'm takingcare of my needs a little bit
more, those just shine throughand I just enjoy doing things
that utilize those skills too.
Like I'm not running groupswhere I'm like, oh, I don't feel
(12:31):
like super great doing this orthat was a lot.
It just comes very natural whenI get to use those skills.
April Snow (12:36):
Yeah, I think this is why a lot of HSPs are drawn
to helping professions, becausewe do get to bring our empathy
and our perception and all thosethings that really help to see
people and support people.
Also, it's overwhelming, yeah.
Jessica Beagan (12:51):
In healthcare too, I just feel like it's just
so busy and there's so muchgoing on.
So if I was running like halfthe groups I was, it might've
been a little bit better.
But there's so much going onall the time and groups coming
in and out and yeah, it's justhard up the empathy when you're,
it's becomes overwhelming it'shard because at least I remember
for me working with couples ordoing group therapy you're
(13:11):
managing the dynamics betweenthe people also yes yes, for me
it can get stressful yes, thatwas always quite interesting
where things yeah, in mentalhealth addiction it was fun
sometimes, but it was yeah,that's like a whole other level
of overwhelm that can happenwith that.
April Snow (13:29):
Yeah, it is, it really is.
So you hit a point where you'relike, okay, I don't want to
stay in this nutrition program.
I'm working as a recreationtherapist.
This also isn't a good fit.
So then you decide to pivotagain as you continue to learn
about yourself.
Jessica Beagan (13:44):
So I'm wondering if you I was working as a
recreation therapist in mentalhealth and addiction and it was
going great for a while, butthen it just took a turn where,
like I said, the pushing caughtup, and I think it was in 2021
when I developed some prettysevere insomnia and I had never
(14:06):
had insomnia before.
So that really just took a tollon me in so many different ways
.
I also was starting to havesome anxiety attacks and it was
like things were just goingreally downhill.
So, yeah, eventually just gotto the point where I was like
nobody's winning here.
Like I just kept pushing myselfso hard.
(14:27):
I'm like why I'm not winning?
No one's benefiting from mebeing in this state trying to
pretend I'm okay.
I think that's would help memake that decision, that
transition, because it was hardand scary, because it was a risk
, like I didn't.
I had one small VA client at thetime when I decided but yeah,
(14:49):
it had just been going on for solong.
I was like it's very necessarydecision.
I feel like it had to happen.
I thought about it for a while.
I was a typical HSP.
It wasn't like a quick decisionand I did have, luckily, like,
my coworkers and stuff werereally supportive of that and
that was really nice, yeah, andso I decided I got to take the
(15:10):
risk and luckily, I ended up.
I quit at the end of December2022, I think, and then, within
a month, I had a new clientright and I was like working
full-time as a VA, which waslike wow, I don't even have
words for the gratitude of ohyeah, it was just amazing.
April Snow (15:32):
It's like you, someone caught you.
Jessica Beagan (15:35):
Yeah, that's what it.
Yeah Cause I was like, okay,I'm struggling, I have to make a
change, I have my foot in thedoor somewhere, it's something.
But to give me momentum.
But I was like this could notwork and so I felt like I was
like rewarded for taking a risk,which was just like, oh, this
is yeah, it was a really greatfeeling.
April Snow (15:57):
Yeah, hey, this is the right choice, because it is
scary to just leap and you don'tquite know what's next yeah,
and I think too it also felt.
Jessica Beagan (16:07):
I think there's just an element of feeling like
I was failing which was hard,like I had already.
I was in nutrition and then Iwent to recreation therapy and
I've been working in that forfour years and I was like, oh,
I'm going to pivot again and Ijust you just can't help but
feel like, oh, I'm failing,cause I worked so hard to get to
where I was.
So that was really hard.
But yeah, I don't feel likethat anymore, like it felt very
(16:31):
it's also very full circle too,because I was like I want to
continue working with therapistsand so that kind of brought it
all home and made it feel likethis was all worth it.
I had to go through all that toget to where I am now.
Yeah, so just very grateful, Imade the leap.
April Snow (16:47):
I think I think this is a common response is oh, if
I have to make multiple changes,I must have failed at something
.
But really I've started tothink about it as that kind of
stacking of experience.
Right, I did this and that tookme to here and that takes me to
the next place, and I couldn'thave got to the present day
(17:07):
without going through everythingthat happened in the past.
It's true, yeah, if we couldreframe that, because I think
about when I went in myundergrad, I studied plant
biology and I thought, oh,that's a waste.
I thought that was a waste fora long time because I didn't use
the degree, but then I realizedhaving a degree got me into
grad school, which then got meto become a therapist, which is
what I really wanted to do, andit wasn't a waste.
Jessica Beagan (17:28):
Yeah, Never a waste ever.
April Snow (17:35):
It's never a waste and it gave me a lot of insights
about how I was treating myselfthen and how I wasn't really
listening to my needs, andthere's just a lot of insight
looking back and I think that'ssuch a good reminder that just
because you invested some energyinto something some time, you
can still make a change Totally.
Jessica Beagan (17:47):
Yeah, and it's funny because I don't think I
would even be in this, doingthis work I'm doing, if I didn't
go into rec therapy, because Iwas like scrolling on reels one
day and I came across a rectherapist who had been in a
similar position, where she wasduring COVID or just after, I
think, and she had burnt out inhealth care.
She was very introverted, shereferred to herself as like a
(18:07):
home body and she was now in theonline space and I was like, oh
my god, I just immediatelyreached out to her Cause I was
like I relate, like I want to dothat too, like I'm also feeling
burnt out, and she was the onethat kind of got me into this
whole field.
So, yeah, it was all all worthit, all part of the process.
April Snow (18:29):
I love that.
I was wondering how thatconnection point happened and
how beautiful that it was fromsomeone who walked through this
for you.
Jessica Beagan (18:38):
Yeah, yeah, so incredibly grateful for her.
She connected me with anothertherapist and I had at the time,
like a small another businesson the side selling wood signs
and so I leveraged thatexperience and obviously my
healthcare experience and, yeah,I just snowballed from there.
So it was just really lucky tocome across her.
It was, yeah, amazing.
April Snow (19:00):
Yeah, I think it's so cool how you can look at what
little threads could I pull on.
Yeah, what skills are you usingin your role as a VA that maybe
you weren't using before as arecreational therapist?
Jessica Beagan (19:13):
Yeah, I think a lot of attention to detail for
sure, things like organization,creativity.
I feel like in my other role Iwas I might have been using
those a little bit, but it wasmore heavily focused on like
running groups and being able toadapt really quickly, and I
obviously proved to myself thatI could do those things, but I
(19:34):
wasn't thriving doing that atall.
So I feel like working as a VAnow I actually get to like
really tap into those skills andjust hone in on those strengths
and it fills my cup so muchmore rather than depleting me,
which is what was happeningbefore.
So that's just been huge and,yeah, I feel so much better.
Being able to especially justbeing more like task oriented
(19:58):
and having that predictabilityhas been huge for me and knowing
like what tasks I have to dofor the month and just makes you
feel good too, I think,self-esteem wise, because before
I was like doing okay, gettingby, doing some stuff, and I'm
probably harder myself thanother people.
But yeah, being in to do allthese other tasks as a VA now it
(20:20):
just makes you feel betterbecause you're doing a better
job, because those are like yourstrengths.
April Snow (20:23):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense because you get to
be a full human and you'rereally I think we're similar and
you have these kind of multipleparts of you that you're
creative and artistic, butyou're also really organized and
detailed and in my experienceas a therapist, you only really
get to show up as maybe well, inthe clinical role you show up
(20:45):
as your empathetic self, yourcaring self, your relational
self, but there's all theseother parts like the detail,
orientation and like the drive,and that I need other outlets
for that, and so I couldunderstand that role might've
been pretty limiting where, yeah, you don't get to use all of
the parts of you.
Jessica Beagan (21:02):
Yeah, a hundred percent, yeah, and it was just,
the balance was off and I couldtell by the end.
I was craving just like that,predictability and I was like
someone give me a task that'sjust simple, and I know what to
do and I can get it done andI'll do it well, and I just
wanted that, yeah, a little bitmore of that organization and
calmness and predictability.
April Snow (21:20):
Yeah, that, yeah, predictability.
And also I loved that you.
I felt that when you said, justgive me a task to do, I want to
check it off the list.
Jessica Beagan (21:28):
Yes, yeah, because things were just being
like thrown at me and I was likehaving to like do this dance
and yeah.
So just give me a task.
I just want to do somethingthat I know is expected of me
and I can do it Like that's allI wanted.
April Snow (21:40):
Yeah, to actually complete the circle.
You don't get to see that whenyou're working with client work.
Eventually it happens, but it'spretty murky or it's not
tangible.
You might see progress, but youcan't really like always put
your hands around it in themoment and the day to day.
So that is definitely can be amissing piece to keep you moving
, to keep you motivated.
Jessica Beagan (22:02):
Yeah 100%.
April Snow (22:03):
Yeah, and I know, in this transition that you've had
with your career, you've movedfrom being in groups being super
on all the time to workingexclusively from home.
So I'm just wondering what hasthat's a big transition.
I'm wondering what that's beenlike for you.
Jessica Beagan (22:16):
Yeah, it's been such a wild transition I would
say honestly, like life-savingin so many ways.
Just, I always my dream waslike to work from home for so
long and I just think as an HSP,it's so essential Like I can't
really imagine not working fromhome now.
Like I just need that controlover my environment.
(22:38):
I love being able to plan outmy own schedule and if I'm
having an off day or like Ididn't sleep well, right, like I
still tend to sometimesstruggle with insomnia, so like
I can push things a day if Ineed to, I can dim the lights
right, like my old workplacethere's like classic classroom
lights right, which on my lunchbreak I would shut them off
(22:59):
because it was just too much forme.
So, yeah, that's beenabsolutely amazing is just being
able to have that flexibilityand freedom and quiet.
Like you're not on all the timeand masking and have people
around.
Yeah, you just get a bit morequiet and peace and get to move
at your own pace, which has beenhuge too, because sometimes
(23:19):
you're like you know what.
I need to go slower today, or Ineed to like lay down in my bed
for 10 minutes or something,and I just yeah, I just realized
at this point in my life like Ireally need that.
It's really hard not to havethat or to have someone
dictating my every move and likewhen I take my breaks and stuff
.
It's really hard.
So, yeah, I mean it didn't comewith.
It's like there's pros and cons, obviously, but I had to learn
(23:43):
how to run a business and dotaxes and like, at first you are
working a lot because you'relike getting everything set up,
you're getting your social mediaset up and your website, and
it's a bit of a balance that Istruggled with that in the
beginning, but the payoff waslike I have no words.
It was just like incredible,yeah, just to be able to, yeah,
have that flexibility, and then,over time, things like settle
(24:05):
down a bit.
You start getting in the grooveof stuff.
You get your routines in placewhere you go for walks and you
get out of the house and whatnot.
So, yeah, it's been absolutelygame-changing as a HSP in every
way, the flexibility, theautonomy is so key for us.
April Snow (24:21):
You mentioned getting to go lay down for 10
minutes.
That is something that youreally can't replace and just
being able to take care ofyourself when you need it and
not trying to put yourself inthis box and constantly going
some of what we talk about goingbeyond your limits.
There's definitely a relearningin that right, because when I
first started being a therapistand having my own business and I
(24:43):
had worked retail for yearsthroughout college, I was an
outdoor food store manager andthen I was a buyer and so I was
always on someone else'stimeline, always working
holidays and weekends and nights.
Someone else's timeline, alwaysworking holidays and weekends
and nights.
So it took me a long time torealize.
Jessica Beagan (24:57):
Oh, wait, I have choice.
Yeah yeah, it's weird at firstLike it's almost uncomfortable,
and then you lean into it moreand you're like, oh, this is
what I've been needing.
April Snow (25:04):
Yeah, exactly, it's foreign in a lot of ways.
Oh, you can actually rest whenyou need to, yeah.
Jessica Beagan (25:12):
Very foreign at first.
April Snow (25:13):
And you can actually say I'm going to do this in an
hour.
I'm going to do this tomorrow,because that's when I'll have
the energy for it.
I know that can be a privilegefor a lot of us and also it's
life-changing, yeah, yeah.
So making sure you're workingin sensory-friendly environment
at home, resting when you needto, having flexibility.
(25:35):
What are some other ways thatyou take care of yourself?
Refill your tank.
Jessica Beagan (25:39):
Walks are really big for me.
I try to go for like anon-negotiable walk every day,
sometimes longer ones, likeafter work, just to decompress,
let my mind wander a little bit,process everything.
I love Pilates too, yeah.
So Move With Nicole on YouTubeis amazing.
She's very gentle and just,yeah, has some like really
(26:00):
amazing workouts.
I always love doing those.
I also like to read.
I play video games sometimes,which is like something I did as
a kid, so that's reallycomforting and nostalgic.
And then, yeah, also sometimes,like on the weekend, I will.
I love having a day where I canget up and get myself like a
(26:21):
treat, like a iced coffee orlike a.
I love desserts and stuff, justsomething that brings me joy.
And then maybe watching a moviewith my partner and getting
takeout, and those kind of daysare like my favorite.
They're just really fills mycup and, yeah, getting cozy and
cuddling with my cat too.
April Snow (26:42):
Shout out to Mr Ginge.
Jessica Beagan (26:45):
Mr Ginge is the best.
Yeah, so those are like themain ways I would say I recharge
, also travel, that's fills meup in a different way, because
it can be a lot sometimes, butit does fill me up in a very
different way.
Yeah, those are the kind of howI give back to myself and I
love it.
April Snow (27:03):
As you were describing the weekend, I was
like that's the perfect day.
You get a treat, you cozy upwith a movie yeah and you spend
time with your person and yourpet and, oh the best, so cozy
and comforting the best yeah, Ilove it.
So when you are I was thinkingabout travel and, as a service
provider, being in a supportrole it can be hard to step away
(27:25):
.
So I'm wondering if you couldspeak more to, because I think
this is something HSP strugglewith.
A lot is taking time away.
When you are supporting someone, whether it's at work or in
your personal life, how do youprep for time away?
Jessica Beagan (27:36):
whether it's at work or in your personal life.
How do you prep for time away?
Yeah, so we have a really youand I have a great system where
I prep ahead a lot to be able totake time off, and I usually
give myself like two to threemonths, I would say, to get
ahead on some tasks.
And I give myself that time tolike prevent overwhelm, because
I've definitely been inpositions where I didn't give
myself enough time and it justgets to be too much.
(27:58):
So I always give April a headsup and be like hey, I'm going to
take a couple weeks off andApril's amazing and she helps
also get ahead on some stuff.
So we get ahead on like socialmedia and a little bit of admin,
and we just do a little bitevery month, just plugging away
at things.
And then, yeah, before we knowit, I'm going away next month
(28:22):
for two weeks and we're stillplugging away, but it just
doesn't feel as overwhelmingbecause we're planning ahead of
time, which is so essential.
Yeah, and then also sometimes,if there's capacity or if April
has like a slower month, there'ssome like mutual
decision-making of okay, do youwant to go down a little bit in
hours, which is so helpfulsometimes because I do lots of
(28:43):
work for April and there's justnatural breaks.
Sometimes we've realized likethroughout the year, where we
can just put things down for alittle bit and both of us can
take a break, like we don't haveto be posting on social media
every week of the year, kind ofthing.
So, yeah, definitely planningahead has been huge and
communicating with your if it'syour boss, or, yeah, in my case,
me and April yeah, superessential.
April Snow (29:06):
Yeah, the planning ahead and breaking it down into
manageable bites has been sohelpful.
We've been, yeah, now thatwe've gotten in the rhythm the
past few years.
We're like, oh, we'll take thethree months leading up to a
trip or a break for either oneof us.
And we just slowly chip away atit and it doesn't feel like
extra work, honestly.
Jessica Beagan (29:26):
Yeah, so much more manageable.
April Snow (29:27):
It's so much more manageable because on paper that
could be daunting.
You're trying to fit in a wholemonth of work over two or three
months before.
No, it just feels easy.
And of work over two or threemonths before.
No, it just feels easy, andthen we both get a break, which
I'm also looking forward to.
Yeah, oh, a month without doingthese certain tasks, oh, what
else might I do?
Might take some extra time formyself, or right now I'm working
on a book, so I'm going to pourthat into writing, which is
(29:50):
also meaningful to me, but itjust gives you other.
There's other areas you canshow up in when you take that
time, exactly, yep, and we'velearned because we're both
creating a lot.
Yes, whether it's creatingsocial media posts, blogs,
videos, podcast episodes, books,there's a lot of things we're
putting out there supportingclients You're supporting me and
your other clients, supportingmy therapy clients, my
(30:12):
consulting clients.
Jessica Beagan (30:13):
We've learned that we can't skip those breaks,
and now we're figuring out howdo we build them in yes yeah,
that's important yeah, and justknowing, too, like creative
energy is not the same as, like,maybe, admin energy, or just
like being really careful withwhen you use that energy and how
much of it you use, and becausewe're both doing that in
(30:34):
different ways.
So just being smart with thattoo and knowing, like, how much
do you actually have to give andwhen do you have to pull back,
or yeah, exactly, just make sureit's sustainable and always
giving yourself something tolook forward to, like knowing
there's time off, whether it bein the summer or for the
holidays, we know, okay, we'vegot that space coming up For me
that helps a lot.
(30:54):
Yes, yeah, it up For me.
That helps a lot.
Yes, yeah, it just adds morejoy to your life.
There's like something comingup?
April Snow (31:01):
Yeah, exactly For sure.
And speaking of you supportingothers so much, I'm wondering
does that support get to comeback to you in any way?
Jessica Beagan (31:08):
Yeah, I would say I mostly rely on my partner
a lot for, like, when it comesto asking for help and stuff.
He's so amazing.
There'll be days where I'm likeoverstimulated or I'm just like
, oh, I just can't go out today,I don't want to leave the house
.
So he'll like go get groceriesfor me, which is really
appreciated.
Or he like cooks dinner a lotand usually we'll maybe trade
(31:31):
off or I'll do the dishes orsomething.
But yeah, he'll just be reallyhelpful at stepping in and just
like taking some different tasksoff my plate when maybe I'm
feeling overwhelmed or justanxious or just need a little
bit more downtime.
Yeah, so very grateful for him.
He's definitely my go-to forasking for help you really need
that, don't you?
yeah, that person you can leanon and say, yeah, I can't go out
(31:54):
today yeah, yeah, he's not anHSP, so it works out really well
because he has his limits too,but he just, yeah, he
understands, and I'm like I justreally can't go to the grocery
store right now.
If you could, that'd be soamazing.
So, yeah, really grateful forthat.
April Snow (32:08):
Yeah, it's been very helpful and always heartwarming
for me to know oh, Jess isgetting some support too.
Jessica Beagan (32:13):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
April Snow (32:19):
Jess too.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Just as we start to wrap up,I'm wondering, thinking about
the listeners out there who aremaybe pushing themselves too
hard or thinking about how theycould get help.
Is there a message you couldleave?
Jessica Beagan (32:25):
them with.
I would say that slowing down,switching careers or doing less
doesn't mean that you're failingas HSPs.
I think we need to carve ourown path sometimes, and a lot of
people won't understand, andthat's okay, but we need to do
something different usually.
(32:46):
And yeah, you deserve and trulyneed to live a life that
supports your sensitive needs.
Like I said, if you're not like, no one's winning.
So, yeah, listen to yourintuition and don't be afraid to
take a risk and go against thegrain love it.
Thank you, jess yeah, thank youso much, amaryl, I really
(33:07):
appreciate it.
April Snow (33:08):
No, it's been lovely getting to just have our
conversations deepen a littlebit more.
I get to know a little bit moreabout you other than what I've
already known.
Yeah, I'm excited for folks tolisten to this and if they want
to follow up with you, I'll besure to share your website, your
social media and the show notesif they'd like to keep in touch
.
Great, thank you, april.
This has been awesome.
(33:28):
This is amazing.
Thanks so much for joining meand Jess for today's
conversation.
The message I hope you'll takeaway is that change is not a
failure, but an opportunity toreset and live a life more in
(33:48):
alignment with the pace thatsuits your sensitivity.
You can find Jess on Instagramat virtuallywithjess, or at her
website website,virtuallywithjesscom.
All links are in the show notes.
If you enjoyed this episode,subscribe to the Sensitive
Stories podcast so you don'tmiss our upcoming conversations.
Reviews and ratings are alsohelpful and appreciated For
(34:11):
behind-the-scenes content andmore HSB resources.
You can sign up for my emaillist or follow Sensitive
Strengths on Instagram, tiktokand YouTube.
Check out the show notes orsensitivestoriescom for all the
resources from today's episode.
Thanks for listening.
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