November 4, 2025 • 52 mins
Do you hold yourself back? In this episode, I talk with GG Renee Hill about finding your inner gifts through your personal stories and:
• Identifying how the internal narratives that you tell yourself can be both supportive and limiting
• Rewriting past stories to break limiting patterns and embrace your whole self
• Working through false internalized beliefs and reframe the feeling of being different as a strength
• Finding your own version of strong as a highly sensitive person
GG is a nationally recognized author, creative coach, and facilitator who guides people in discovering the power of storytelling as a pathway to self-discovery, empowerment, and meaningful contribution. Her mission is to help others enrich their lives and communities through the transformative power of the written word. She is the author of Self-Care Check-In: A Guided Journal to Build Healthy Habits and Devote Time to You (2020) and A Year of Self-Reflection Journal: 365 Days of Guided Prompts to Slow Down, Tune In, and Grow (2021). Her debut book of essays, Story Work: Field Notes on Self-Discovery and Reclaiming Your Narrative is available now from Broadleaf Books.
Keep in touch with GG:
• Website: http://allthemanylayers.com
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gina-gg-renee-hill-28686762
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ggreneewrites
Resources Mentioned:
• Story Work: Field Notes on Self-Discovery and Reclaiming Your Narrative by GG Renee Hill: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9798889832652
Thanks for listening! You can read the full show notes and sign up for my email list to get new episode announcements and other resources at:
https://www.sensitivestories.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
GG Renee Hill (00:21):
Get really vivid with a creative vision for your
life if you did not think thatyour sensitivity was a
limitation, right?
And let that vision evolve overtime as you continue to feel
your way into little incrementalchanges you can make over time
to maybe bring that vision tolife bit by bit.
April Snow (00:43):
Welcome to Sensitive Stories, the podcast for the
people who live with hearts andeyes wide open.
I'm your host, psychotherapistand author April Snow.
I invite you to join me as Ideep dive into rich
conversations with fellow highlysensitive people that will
inspire you to live a morefulfilling life as an HSP
(01:04):
without all the overwhelm.
In this episode, I talk withGigi Renee Hill about rewriting
the stories you have aboutyourself that say you're too
sensitive to emotional orwhatever other limiting belief
you've heard and told yourself.
And within that reframing, youfind your inner gifts that are
just hiding under the surface.
Gigi shares her own storythroughout the episode and walks
(01:27):
us through an exercise from hernew book to start looking
inward.
Gigi is a nationally recognizedauthor, creative coach, and
facilitator who guides people indiscovering the power of
storytelling as a pathway toself-discovery, empowerment, and
meaningful contribution.
Her mission is to help othersenrich their lives and
communities through thetransformative power of the
(01:48):
written word.
She is the author of severalbooks, including Story Work,
Field Notes on Self-Discoveryand Reclaiming Your Narrative,
which is available now.
For more HSP resources and tosee behind the scenes video from
the podcast, join me onInstagram, TikTok, or YouTube at
Sensitive Strengths, or sign upfor my email list.
(02:09):
Links are in the show notes andat sensitivestories.com.
And just a reminder that thisepisode is for educational
purposes only and is notintended as a substitute for
treatment with a mental healthor medical professional.
Let's dive in.
GG Renee Hill (02:47):
Hi, April.
I'm so happy to be here.
Thanks for having me today.
April Snow (02:51):
Yeah, of course.
I'm wondering if you couldstart off by sharing your HSP
discovery story.
How or when you realize thatyou're highly sensitive?
GG Renee Hill (03:01):
Sure.
It wasn't until my late, Iguess it was like the late
2010s.
It was through Dr.
Elaine Aaron's work.
Just to go back a little bit,when I was a little girl, I knew
that I was sensitive.
But so when you're first whenyou're a child, you don't label
it as that.
You know, I knew that I feltthings deeply.
(03:22):
I knew that like music anddance and art were things that I
felt really, really deeply.
I knew when I was sad, I wassuper sad that I felt for
everybody all the time.
I remember sitting on mygrandma's floor because my
grandma would always watch thenews.
And so there was always sadstories, and I felt them so
(03:43):
deeply.
So these were things I'm kindof aware of.
And then as you get older,people start telling you you're
too sensitive, right?
You start hearing it.
And like you're so sensitive,or you know, you're always
crying, or you're too so thatbecomes a narrative in your
head.
And then for me, and I knowwe'll talk about this a bit more
(04:03):
later, I started to associatethis thing that I now know as
sensitivity as like, maybethere's something wrong with me.
Like, why do I feel things somuch?
And part of that might havebeen because my mother had an
undiagnosed mental illness, andI knew she displayed behaviors
and things that were strange andout of the ordinary.
(04:26):
So as a child, we just starttrying to put things together
when adults don't explain thingsto us.
So I thought, well, maybethere's something wrong with my
brain too.
And I started like seeing allmy sensitive qualities as
evidence of that.
So all of this stuff shaped me.
And then finally, when I was anadult and really started kind
(04:47):
of going on my self-discoveryjourney and trying to get to
know myself, first I was like,ah, okay, I'm an introvert.
I really just need, you know,first it was that.
It was like, oh, okay, Istarted studying introversion
and seeing aspects of myselfthat kind of started connecting
dots, but it wasn't until Dr.
Elaine Aaron's work that I waslike, oh, it's not just me,
(05:11):
right?
Yes.
It really helped me tounderstand how I'm wired and
that there are so many beautifulstrengths to it, which I kind
of knew but wasn't reallyembracing just yet.
And I just it sent medefinitely on a deeper journey
of understanding myself as justa unique individual who has
(05:32):
these different characteristicsand that I could learn to look
at them in a positive way if Ichoose to.
April Snow (05:38):
Oh, I think that's a beautiful thing.
Yeah, when we're younger, atfirst we don't have any language
or words for it, but we donotice, oh, there's something
different about me.
I feel differently, I responddifferently to the world.
And how do I make sense ofthat?
And I also too foundintroversion first and then was
like, this isn't the wholepuzzle.
Let me keep looking.
(05:59):
And then you're like, oh,there's more to it.
And it makes sense that youknow you might have seen some
overlaps with your mom'sstruggles with mental health,
but realizing like, okay, maybethat doesn't fit completely.
There's probably more to itwhen there's that trait at the
core of your experiences.
GG Renee Hill (06:17):
Yeah, yeah.
I bet I from talking to familymembers, I get that my mom was
sensitive too, right?
Like as a child, she wassensitive.
She was, she loved to curl upwith her books like I did.
Like there's a lot ofsimilarities there.
And I think that when you arehighly sensitive, it can, and
this I'm not speaking from atherapeutic or scientific
(06:39):
perspective, saying this justfrom my own observations about
life, that when you are highlysensitive, you really have to
take care of your mental healthbecause you're so permeable and
to your environment, to trauma.
So, you know, I have mythoughts and my theories about
um my mom's life and how, youknow, it maybe went the way it
(07:00):
did without any intervention orlike awareness of mental health
and self-care growing up in hergeneration.
April Snow (07:06):
Yeah.
It's so true that you know, wereally do need to care for our
mental health as HSPs because weare more susceptible to stress,
to trauma, to, you know, beingunder resource, whatever it is.
And yeah, a lot of sensitivepeople do struggle because they
first off, they don't know thatthey're highly sensitive and
they don't know what they need,or they're not given permission
(07:27):
or space, or they don't have theresources to take care of
themselves in the right way.
And then that can manifest asother struggles.
As you saw in your mom, we seethat a lot in our community.
But yeah, thankfully they'rewe're starting to have some
conversations around it.
I think we're in the veryinfant stages of it, but you
know, even just conversationslike this, highlighting the
(07:48):
importance of it is soimportant.
You've talked about beingpermeable, feeling for everyone,
you know, feeling different.
You know, there's lots ofstories we carry around, we tell
ourselves about who we are, howwe are, before and after we
realize that we're highlysensitive.
I'm wondering if there areother examples of stories that
HSPs might be holding on to.
(08:08):
There's so many, right?
GG Renee Hill (08:10):
Like I can speak to some of mine, and just also
from being in community withpeople, things that I've picked
up from others that I big timerelated to is like just feeling
like you are too fragile forcertain experiences or
endeavors, like, okay, I can'tcontrol my emotions enough to do
this, go maybe go for this job,right?
(08:32):
Or go on this trip.
I've felt like it's just gonna,everything's gonna overwhelm
you.
Thinking that you have topretend a bit and mask yourself
to fit in, and that it's notreally safe to show your true
self.
There's so many ways that wefeel othered that we feel like
we have to hide, thinking thatyou know, that I'm too
(08:54):
idealistic or I'm too naive.
I can't be direct, I can't bedecisive, I can't, you know, I'm
not as strong as other people.
I mean, there's so there's somany that can keep us in a box.
And there's some considerationin all of them.
Yes, we do have to considerthat we have some authentic
(09:16):
needs there that, or I shouldsay, like unique needs there
that we do need to cater to andunderstand.
But I think that there's alsosome narratives that as an
empowered HSP, you can learn,and we'll talk more about that,
I'm sure, that you can start tosay, okay, well, yes, my
(09:37):
emotions are very strong, oryes, I, you know, have this deep
empathy for other people, buthow can I manage that and find
the strengths that come fromthat?
And so that I can go into, Idon't have to make my life
smaller because of this, right?
April Snow (09:56):
Yes, exactly.
You oftentimes I think we seethose unique needs as
limitations and as a like apermanent story that, oh,
because I got overwhelmed thistime or because I was more
stressed in this environment orin this situation, I can't do
anything.
I need to pull myself back.
But you're saying there's moreto the story, we can empower
(10:18):
ourselves.
Yes, absolutely.
GG Renee Hill (10:21):
And there it requires for me, it required
distancing myself a little bitfrom societal narratives, from
what I had absorbed over timefrom my environment and from a
lot of some people not sowell-meaning, but some really
well-meaning folks, right?
Who just wanted me to worryabout me or you know, wanted to
(10:45):
protect me.
But you start to absorb thoselimitations that they place on
you and to think that that'sjust well, this is just my
story.
This is just kind of what Ihave to deal with.
And, you know, in the blackcommunity, there's this
stereotype of how a strong blackwoman should be, how she should
(11:06):
act, how she should show up,how she should handle if
somebody crosses her boundaries.
And, you know, I thought I justneeded this thicker skin.
And if I didn't have it reallyorganically, I had to pretend
that I did.
So that caused a lot of turmoilfor me and just feeling like I
was performing and actingoutside of myself.
Like if someone did cross myboundaries or I was upset or I
(11:29):
was angry, I didn't know what todo with anger.
Like I have always had an issuewith anger because I think I
just suppressed it so much as achild, and then growing up and
just like I felt like I neededto.
People were always telling me,well, you shouldn't have let
that happen, or you shouldn'thave let that person speak to
you that way, or you need torespond like this.
(11:51):
So I would imitate how otherpeople responded to anger or
like looking tough, or I didn'twant people to take advantage of
me.
So I felt like I had to behavea certain way and act out a
certain way.
And it never felt right.
It never felt like this is me,but I didn't know what I wanted,
(12:13):
what was true to me.
How do I express anger?
How do I express a boundarywithout feeling mean or like you
know, just like this whole nicegirl persona that I felt like
it goes so deep, Abraham?
It goes so deep because it'slike it was genuine.
(12:34):
I am a genuinely kind personwho always thinks about if
someone does do me wrong, I'malways thinking about, well, how
did they get that way?
And like it's not really, youknow, oh, we're just all trying
our best.
And some people just didn'thave it.
I make excuses for people.
So it's like it became likethis overcorrection of like one
(12:57):
extreme to the other.
One, I'm like fawning and beinga doormat, and the other
extreme is I'm like acting out,throwing things, not knowing how
to handle my anger.
So it was just like a rollercoaster for a long time, just
trying to figure out what'sauthentic to me.
April Snow (13:14):
Mm-hmm.
It's hard because you said youwere wearing that mask, yeah,
doing what society expects ofyou.
And this is a story I've heardfrom a lot of black sensitive
women, which is wear the thickskin, be tough, you know, push
beyond your needs and ignoreyour softer sides, your
sensitive side.
Um I'm really I feel reallyexcited about you saying I'm
(13:37):
stepping out of these societalnorms, these expectations.
How has that been for you?
Has it been easy?
GG Renee Hill (13:45):
Has it been a challenge?
It's been a challenge.
It's been a lot of awkwardmoments.
Trying to experiment with newways of responding to
situations.
I think that it's interestingthat there's now more of a
societal shift towards like insocial media, you'll see a cult
(14:06):
like the soft life, right?
And like, you know, embracingself-care and getting in touch
with your feminine and all ofthis.
But slightly before that, I wasgrappling with that, right?
I was at the part of my journeywhere I was like, okay, this
thick-skinned, strong blackwoman persona is not authentic
(14:26):
to me.
What is my version of strong?
What is my version of being awell-boundaried, kind, but not
just like nice, good girl, butstill, you know, kind, but
direct and protecting myboundaries.
What does that look like forme?
So it takes a lot ofexperimentation.
And there's a lot of awkwardmoments where dynamics you have
(14:49):
in certain relationships, howyou would normally respond,
you're trying out new ways ofresponding and you don't really
know what to say or do yet thatfeels right.
So you say awkward things, yousometimes get tongue-tied, or
you just behave sort of in a waythat you feel it's more
uncomfortable before it getscomfortable again, right?
(15:11):
Yeah.
It changes your relationships,and that can be really scary and
unsettling.
There are people who benefitfrom you being so nice all the
time and so sensitive.
And like I was so, and I'mstill working on this, I'll
always be working on my conflictavoidance.
I hate conflict.
And before I would literallybetray myself to avoid conflict,
(15:36):
like whatever I needed to do tokeep the peace, to avoid the
argument, to avoid thedispleasure of someone else, or
them thinking a way about methat I don't want them to think,
that I just completely lostsight of like my own values, my
voice, all of that.
So it was a journey, and Idefinitely don't think it
(15:57):
really, really took hold.
I'm 48, well, almost 48, I'm 47now.
And this all kind of was likein my late 30s and 40s.
Like, so it was, you know, itwas after a while.
Like I went a lot of myadulthood like doing the dance,
like just trying to, you know,keep up this, keep up with
everyone else and the way theyoperated in the world.
(16:17):
And then my late 30s and 40s,it was like, how do I show up as
my most authentic self and notlose sight of the fact that my
sensitivity is a strength?
It's not something that I wantto play down for anyone, but I
also need to figure out whatstrong means for me, what
(16:41):
assertive looks like for me,right?
I just could never connectmyself with that word.
But as I'm a self-employedcreative, and I realized that
being so conflict-avoidant andso rejection sensitive was
holding me back in my career.
So I was like, I have to figureout what assertive, you know,
what that looks like.
There's so many things that ittouches in so many different
(17:04):
aspects of your life that youhave to figure it out and accept
that it's going to be a littlebit uncomfortable and awkward
figuring it out.
But once you do, you gain a newlevel of courage and confidence
that it's like a skill that youcan build, it's a muscle you
can build for sure over time.
April Snow (17:24):
I love this because it it's a good reminder that
okay, A, it's not too late.
Yeah.
And B, just because it'sawkward at first or you might
fumble, it doesn't mean that youshouldn't keep going.
Yeah.
Right?
There's something more groundedand comfortable on the other
side where you know, like, okay,I'm in alignment with myself,
with how I want to be.
(17:45):
And that there are manyversions of being assertive,
direct, boundaried.
You don't have to just do itthe one way.
GG Renee Hill (17:53):
Yes.
April Snow (17:53):
Which is which is exciting, right?
Because we don't have to bedoormats.
Yes, yes.
GG Renee Hill (17:59):
It's freeing, it's liberating, and it's very
creative.
And that's my like part of itthat I love that I'm so obsessed
with is that your creativity isa through line through all of
this because in order for you tothink differently about how
you've been like conditioned tothink, how you've become
comfortable thinking, aligningwith maybe your environment and
(18:22):
your family or your culture,whatever it is, you have to draw
on your creative muscles tolearn how to like think
differently.
Like, well, how else can Ithink about this?
How could I show up or definethis for myself?
What does it look like for me?
You have to use yourimagination a little bit, right?
And you have to like get out ofthe box and the boundaries of
(18:43):
like right and wrong and blackand white, and just kind of like
there's a whole spectrum hereof how I can be.
And I love words.
So I took it as a challenge oflike, I'm gonna find my own way
of like expressing myself andusing language, which I love and
craft and all of that.
(19:04):
And so I would often usewriting as like my practice
ground.
Like I would almost like writemy, I would write my truths, I
would write this, you know, inmy journal.
Well, this didn't feel right.
This is how I kind of want itto be.
And I would kind of do theexperimentation and writing and
(19:26):
find my way to my values andwhat I really wanted to believe
and how I wanted to show up.
And then once I got someclarity there, I could then kind
of take it off the page andpractice it in real life.
So that's how the creativityweaved into it for me.
Everybody's different, right?
And how they might use that,but that's how it was for me
(19:48):
because I would often find thatin the moment, our reactivity
kicks in.
And we, you know, so if you'reconfronted with a situation
right in the moment, and youmight feel like, okay, I've been
noticing this thing that I wantto change.
I want to change how I respondto this person or I want to
respond in this environmentdifferently.
But when you get there,emotions take over and you're
(20:11):
like, oh, I did the same thing Ialways do.
But I would like, I wouldnotice that and I would take it
back to my journal and I wouldwrite about it.
And I would write, okay, here'show it went.
And then partnering that withself-care, like mindfulness,
like, how do I slow myself downto become less reactive?
How do I pause in thoseuncomfortable moments so that I
(20:35):
can remember, hey, I wrote aboutthis, I've been working on
this.
How do I want to respond inthis situation?
And it just keeps taking thatpractice to come back to who you
want to be, what that vision isof who you want to be, like
what you picture as your bestself.
And you just literally startlooking at life as like, oh,
(20:57):
this is an opportunity topractice right now.
April Snow (21:01):
You know?
Yes, exactly.
I'm always telling my clientsthat whenever something from the
past might come up or somethingdoesn't go quite as they
expect, and like, I know this ishard.
And it's an opportunity to putsome of these tools into
practice.
GG Renee Hill (21:14):
Yeah.
April Snow (21:15):
Right?
So I and I love this because weneed that muscle memory as
HSPs.
We need to be able to walkourselves through it before it
actually happens or rewrite itafter it happens.
So I'm wondering, you know,those narratives that we have
that, you know, our differencesor our weakness, or we're too
sensitive to be in the world, orwe have these certain
limitations.
(21:35):
Can we work to reframe thosestories as part of this process
to maybe empower ourselves, tobolster ourselves for the next
conflict or the next struggle?
You know, how can that be partof that process, that healing
process?
GG Renee Hill (21:52):
Yeah, we definitely can.
I think one of the first stepsis to notice, like notice what
those narratives are.
Like we first sometimes itstarts off with just noticing
patterns, right?
There's certain patterns thatmight show up.
I used to do this exercise inworkshops where I said, notice
certain patterns where you feelfrustrated or limited in
(22:12):
relationships at work or inmaybe some third category, maybe
in friendship dynamics orsomething like that, and see if
you notice patterns across allthree.
So there's like this sort ofbecoming your own pattern
noticer or whatever, right?
You notice these patternsbecause that's like data.
It's like it helps you to see,okay, these things are showing
(22:34):
up.
And then when you peel backthat layer, so one of my
patterns is thinking that wasdefinitely in all of these
different environments, I feltlike I was shrinking.
Like I needed to align mybehavior and what I said to fit
in with whatever the dominantnarrative was.
So if I was at work, then Iwould align with the, you know,
(22:58):
sort of model what other peoplewere doing in relationships.
Even if I disagreed with mypartner, I would kind of align,
find the best way I could toalign because I didn't want to
cause an issue.
Friendships, I might not agreewith what's going on or what's
being said, or feel like someonecrossed my boundaries, but I
felt, you know.
So what is the storyline beyondthat, right?
(23:19):
The storyline is what are wetelling ourselves in those
moments?
And if we're really honest withourselves and notice that, we
can see I'm telling myself thatmy opinion, my preferences, my
values, my needs don't matter.
I'm not worthy enough to takeup space here.
If I am seen as my true self,as this belief that I have or
(23:42):
this value that I have that goesagainst the grain, I might lose
my sense of belonging, I mightlose love, I might lose safety.
We're not thinking all thatstuff in the moment.
No, it's just kind of like, butif you sit, and for me, again,
the practice is writing helps mepeel these layers back.
It could be in therapy, youpeel back these layers.
It could be in, you know,conversation with a trusted
(24:04):
loved one or friend.
But for me, it was writing.
I'm just like peeling back thelayers, peeling back the layers.
What's at the root of this?
Like, what am I telling myselfthat is causing me?
Because our beliefs um are justlike thoughts that we have that
like we think them enough thatit becomes this like rooted
belief, right?
And then our actions come fromthose beliefs.
(24:25):
So at the root of thesepatterns and storylines is like
that I'm not enough.
Like I'm not content withmyself, I'm not in tune with
myself to feel safe unlesseveryone's approving of me and
agreeing with me.
So I have to bend myself allover the place, like and fawn
all the time.
(24:45):
And so, in order to change thatnarrative, I had to think about
okay, what is at the root ofthat?
It's really wanting to feel asense of belonging, right?
It's wanting to feel a sense ofconnection.
What about my sensitivity?
That could be perceived as aweakness, but what about my
(25:06):
sensitivity could I perceive asa strength that allows me to
connect and belong, right?
So I thought about, I went, Ilooked over my life and I was
like, you know, I really have away of people come to me and
talk to me in ways that theydon't talk to others.
Like they feel safe to open up,to talk about their feelings,
(25:27):
to just put their guard down alittle bit, and that creates a
sense of connection.
That creates a sense ofbelonging in that one-on-one or
small group environment.
And that's a strength.
So I started looking at some ofthese qualities that I felt
like, oh, these things make meweak or they make me fragile or
(25:48):
whatever, and thinking about,well, these qualities also are
strengths in these situations.
So, and in order to reallyteach yourself to see it as a
strength, you have to shift yourattention a little bit more to
how can I take this quality andfind as many opportunities as
(26:09):
possible to act on it as astrength?
How can I put myself inenvironments and relationships
where I can practice thisdynamic and stand on it as a
strength and be more assertivewith it?
And so for me, what that lookedlike was I was writing and I
was doing the self-discoverywork and I wanted to share it
because people started to, oh,well, you know, what you wrote
(26:32):
really resonated with me.
Can you tell me more about howyou got there?
And I was like, oh, yes, I cantell you all the things.
And I felt like, wow, they'revaluing this part of me that I
thought was a weakness or that Ithought I had to hide.
Let me see how I can carve outmore space in my life for these
activities, practices,environments where these
(26:53):
qualities are valued andappreciated.
And how do I shape my life toreflect that?
And that can be scary and hardbecause a lot of times we're
looking to be valued in placeswhere we're kind of trying to
fit a square, what is it, squarebox into a round hole?
April Snow (27:15):
Square peg into a round hole.
Yeah.
GG Renee Hill (27:19):
So like at work, and I didn't even really realize
I was doing at the time when Iworked in corporate America, I
worked in financial services.
So I was praised for you knowbeing organized and being
helpful and I'm adaptable.
I learned how to do my jobwell, but I wanted to bring more
of that quality that I feltlike I needed to hide into work.
(27:41):
So I remember I started sendingout these weekly motivational
emails.
I only did it for a little bitbecause I started to feel
self-conscious about it and Istopped.
But it was the beginnings ofsomething.
I wanted to say, like, okay, Idon't feel like this job is
(28:01):
really tapping into the bestpart of me, right?
The part of me that helpspeople develop, helps people
speak from their deeper selves.
How do I bring that into thisjob where I'm like a client
coordinator?
Like, how do I do that?
And I just startedexperimenting with ways to bring
the qualities that I knew thatI really valued and that made me
(28:24):
feel alive and that made mefeel inspired.
How do I bring those qualitiesinto these environments where
they're not necessarily lookingfor that?
But this is what I want tobring.
This is my wholeness.
This is my whole package.
So whether it was my job orcertain relationships, just
little by little bringing thatin.
And to bring it back to yourquestion of how we can kind of
(28:48):
reshape those narratives, it'srecognizing the strengths that
are in those qualities andfinding opportunities in your
life to practice and to leadwith those qualities so that
your emphasis is more on thenarratives that empower you, the
characteristics, the developingnarratives around these
(29:09):
characteristics that empower youinstead of the narratives that
disempower you.
And for the challenges, I'llsay this real quick too.
For the challenges, the otherside of that is learning how to
better take care of yourself,right?
So you're not bypassing thefact that, yeah, sometimes being
sensitive is just hard.
(29:30):
And like you get your feelingshurt or you know, things happen,
and there's these challengingaspects of it.
Sometimes you do get takenadvantage of, right?
Like some people, there arejust like the unpretty side of
it.
So how do you learn whileyou're focusing on your
strengths and learning how tobuild your strengths, you also
have to manage the shadow sidewhere you learn how to take much
(29:53):
better care of yourself, andthat combination of things can
then change the story you tellyourself about your sensitivity
overall.
April Snow (30:04):
Yeah, you're really living that rewrite of the
narrative.
GG Renee Hill (30:07):
Yes.
April Snow (30:08):
Yeah, I love that because it's all right.
Just to layer it, okay.
We definitely need to recognizethat yeah, sometimes being
sensitive is hard.
We get easily overwhelmed.
Like you said, we get ourfeelings hurt.
But there's also thesebeautiful elements of being
creative, intuitive, empathetic.
And I love this idea of bringit forward wherever you are.
(30:29):
Don't wait.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
Because oftentimes people don'trealize what we're capable of.
We don't even realize it.
But when they experience it,they usually love it.
They love those moments ofinspiration or extra care or us
taking up a little bit morespace.
A lot of times it's not thatpeople don't want us to take up
space.
We just don't do it.
(30:49):
Hey, how about that?
Yeah.
Let yourself in.
Yes.
So I love that we're looking atboth.
We're looking at the struggles,we're looking at the strengths
and recognizing what are theroots there, right?
What touches everything andwhat's really important to you
to bring forward?
I'm wondering if you could walkus through an exercise around
(31:10):
maybe how to work with some ofthose internalized messages.
I know you have some resourcesin your new book, story work
around this process.
Is there one that would feelright to share in this moment?
You can walk listeners through?
GG Renee Hill (31:25):
Yeah, I think there's one that's really
actionable for listeners whereit ties in with what we were
just talking about, where youstart off by maybe just making a
list of those qualities andtraits that have made you feel
different, that have made youfeel othered or challenged
through your life.
Just make a list, list themout.
Even that can feel reallycathartic and really good.
(31:45):
Start there.
And then you want to thinkabout how have these things been
challenging, right?
Like make a list, not so muchlike situations, but just like
how it makes you feel, you know,the challenges of it.
And then make a list of howhave these things also led to
(32:08):
positive experiences, right?
How do these qualities enrichmy life?
How do these qualities allow meto enrich the lives of others?
What are the strengths thatcome with it?
Right.
And so sometimes in order toget to the strengths, because
I've worked with clients beforewho were like, I can only think
of the hard things.
I can only think of the hardthings.
(32:28):
It's then sometimes a questionthat helps is like, okay, how
else just ask yourself, how elsecan I look at this?
What else can be true aboutthis?
What am I telling myself aboutthis characteristic?
And how else can I think aboutit?
And that can lead you to thestrengths, right?
So you look at both, likerealizing that it's like the two
(32:49):
sides of a coin thing.
Any quality that you name has alight side and a shadow side.
Any quality.
So I just want to think of anexample of myself.
One of the qualities that Ilove about being sensitive is
how much I enjoy like art andmusic and creativity, and I can
(33:13):
just get lost in these thingsand just daydream and be very
whimsical.
The shadow side of that is thatfor a long time it was very
hard for me to get grounded.
Especially when I started mycreative career, I think that
being in corporate grounded meand I just kind of shut down my
creativity.
So when I started this creativecareer, I was in the clouds,
(33:35):
April.
I was like, oh, this isawesome.
I don't need any structure.
I can just be free and floatalong.
And the shadow side of that waslike, I didn't have any
structure.
I didn't have anything toground me.
So there's two sides toeverything.
Like, so my creativity allowsme to do this work and to come
up with new services and newproducts and all these things
(33:56):
that are great.
But I need to ground myself aswell so that I can have a
business and so that I can paymy bills and make a living.
That's just one example.
But to be able to look at yourstrengths and the, I don't want
to call them weaknesses, but thechallenges from both sides and
(34:16):
just name those things.
So if you're listening, do thisexercise, name the strength,
name the quality, name thestrengths that come with it, the
challenges that come with it.
And then I would suggest justdoing some free journaling about
how you can make room in yourlife for little habits to carve
out more space to experimentwith those strengths.
(34:38):
Like, how are you holding backon the strengths?
Like if you know you're reallygood at connecting with people,
helping people, something likethat, is that showing up in your
life, right?
Are you bringing that into yourrelationships and your job and
the things you do?
And if not, explore that.
Just be really honest withyourself through some free
journaling.
(34:59):
And then on the other sidewhere you're thinking about the
challenges, how do you usuallyrespond to those challenges?
Are you avoidant?
Are you running away from them?
Are you just kind of like,well, I just won't do that
thing?
Or are there some things youcould think about in terms of
self-care to learn how to managethe challenges, right?
So, you know, for my example, Ifelt like, well, if I create
(35:24):
this structure, then it wasgonna stifle my creativity and
all of that.
So the way I faced thatchallenge was to educate myself,
right?
And to like really learn as aneurodivergent thinker, and
like, how can I develop myself?
How can I learn maybemindfulness practices?
How can I learn some aspectsabout, you know, sort of getting
(35:47):
very specific about the help Isought out?
Like, I don't need to just betaking business classes, I need
to be taking business classesfor neurodivergent people,
right?
So it's getting very specificand knowing, hey, these are some
challenges that I have.
They don't have to belimitations, they can be things
that I can learn how to developmyself and get help with and
(36:09):
find my own unique way ofaddressing those concerns.
So just like applying that towhatever your challenges are,
whatever causes you to feeloverwhelmed or those
limitations, everything's figureoutable, everything you can
navigate, right?
And find out a way to deal withit.
And one of the things I say inthe book is that question any
(36:31):
narrative that you have or anybelief that you have that leaves
no room for creativity or hope.
Like it's just like, nope, Ican't do this, period.
If you feel yourself in thatall or nothing space, it's time
to soften that and get curiousabout it.
Like, well, I think I could geta little bit more curious with
this and see if there's anotherway I can look at this.
(36:53):
And it starts to open the doorto possibilities that maybe
you'd never considered before.
April Snow (36:58):
Yeah, it's true.
I love zooming in on certainqualities because it really does
pull so much out of it of oh,this uh highlights not just a
challenge, but an opportunity ofwhere I can take up more space
and step more into myself.
Yeah.
Like something I've beenworking on is just letting my
empathy be big, my care forpeople be big, because a lot of
(37:19):
times I've held that backbecause people are like, oh,
it's too much, or what if theythink it's too much?
And I'm just more forthcomingwith it.
Like I'm a very empathetic,caring person, and I just want
to love everyone in my life big,and that's okay.
But I love that piece around ifit feels stuck or if it feels
stagnant where there's no room,some things out.
There's a block to be curiousabout that.
(37:40):
Yeah, yeah.
Look a little closer at that.
Yeah, I think this is just abeautiful unfolding and just
getting to know ourselves moreas sensitive people and we
really try to put our, you know,align ourselves with how other
people are showing up, and itjust doesn't work for us.
Let's rewrite the script.
Yes, make our own rules.
(38:02):
I really appreciate that.
GG Renee Hill (38:04):
And community helps with that so much.
If you can find even just oneperson who you can connect with
on that level of highsensitivity, you feel seen, you
feel heard, and you feelnormalized.
Like this is okay.
And then it gives youconfidence to take your way of
being out into the world and notapologize for it anymore.
(38:25):
And to your point, like feelinglike, oh, my empathy is too
much, I have to hide it in theseenvironments.
That is one of those thingsthat we can test out and say,
instead of shrinking away fromthis, what would happen?
Think of it as a superpower andnot something weird, not a
weakness, but like this is mysuperpower.
(38:47):
I had a therapist say that tome.
And even though at the time Ihad that language somewhere in
my universe already of like turnyour weaknesses into
superpowers, when she said it,it just hit me in the chest in
such a way.
She said, We were talking aboutsensitivity and how you know
the kind of a conversation we'rehaving here.
And she said, you know, myfamily used to always give me a
(39:08):
hard time for being soempathetic and so sensitive.
And I told them, that's mysuperpower, and I'm not gonna
apologize for it.
And I was like, you know what?
Yes.
Like, I think if you have thisunderlying belief that, and it
always goes back to thatunderlying belief, if you're
still harboring that underlyingbelief that you sneakily do
(39:29):
think it is a weakness, and yousneakily do think it makes you
less than or othered, then whenpeople give you that feeling
that you're doing too much, itjust it you almost look at it as
like, oh, there's evidenceagain that I'm doing too much,
right?
Right.
But if you work on that innerbelief, that inner narrative,
(39:50):
and that knowing, trustingyourself that no, this is a
gift, this is a superpower, thenpeople can say that and it just
kind of it kind of blows overyou in a different way.
Like, you know, this you don'tneed everybody to get it because
you have given yourself theaffirmation, the
(40:10):
self-affirmation you need, andmaybe you have a few key people
in your life that really see youand affirm that for you.
Like that's where communitycomes in.
And it just doesn't bother you,the people who don't get it
quite as much.
April Snow (40:23):
It's funny because I've seen people step into that
empowered space of being asensitive person, and it works
out really well most of thetime.
GG Renee Hill (40:32):
Yeah, yeah.
It's just the getting over thatinitiation fear of doing it and
changing it and showing updifferently.
And the thing that I think thatreally helps, in addition to
community, is self-care.
And I know self-care is like itcan be just like this word that
has a lot of different peoplehere and sometimes think like
(40:53):
pampering and all of that.
When I say self-care, I'mtalking about like really deeply
affirming yourself through andpouring into yourself, like
filling your cup with healthypractices that make you feel
really good about who you are,right?
Taking care of yourself, takingwalks, moving your body, eating
(41:14):
well, like have this machine,this body, right?
The more we give it what itlike, the spiritual physical
connection is very real.
So the more we give it what itneeds, the more we feel like I
like who I am.
I'm taking care of myself, Iknow myself, I know what my
needs are.
I know that when I'm operatingin this fully like in my
(41:39):
wholeness, that I feel stronger,I feel more impactful and all
of that.
And you don't feel as wobbly.
I felt much more wobbly in whenI wasn't taking as good care of
myself and I allow people'sopinions, and I really was
craving acceptance andvalidation to make me feel
strong or to make me feelworthy, to make me feel like I
(42:00):
belonged, because I wasn'tgiving that affirmation to
myself.
So I know that you know, nowfrom years of practice, if I do
start to feel wobbly like thatagain, that means I need to
center myself.
Like what you ask myself, whatdo I need?
I need to take a walk, put mypods on, maybe listen to my
favorite podcast or some music,something that makes me remember
(42:21):
who I am and what energizes me.
And then I can go back out intothese environments where
everybody doesn't have to get mebecause I get myself.
So if you're listening andyou're like, okay, I feel like
scared to really show up thisway and to just own myself, like
that self-acceptance has tocome first.
(42:42):
You have to really find thatwithin yourself.
And a lot of times the way wetake care of ourselves and give
ourselves those experiences andhabits and practices that make
us feel like ourselves, thathelps to get us there.
April Snow (42:57):
Oh, it really does.
And if we can just spend moretime with ourselves, going
inward, taking care ofourselves.
And it doesn't have to becomplicated, it can be as simple
as going for a walk, listeningto your favorite music, moving
your body a little bit, or youknow, getting into bed earlier,
or nourishing your body withsome good food, whatever,
(43:17):
whatever works for you isbecause I always remind HSPs, a
little bit goes a long way.
We don't need a lot to feel abig impact.
So it's a good reminder to youknow, just pour back into
yourself a little bit, you know,check in.
What do I need?
What's going on in thebackground for me?
Right?
What what what are the storiesthat are influencing how I think
(43:37):
and feel about myself?
Yeah, there's just so muchthere to uncover.
So, Gigi, I'm wondering as westart to wrap up, if there's any
last messages you have for theHSPs who are listening who are
in the process of finding theirstrengths and rewriting those
differences and trying to kindof reclaim their personal
stories.
Is there anything that you wantto leave them with before we
(43:58):
end?
GG Renee Hill (43:59):
Yeah, there is.
I want to two things, and wesort of touched it on part of
this already, and that is it'sokay to be uncomfortable.
It's okay for the processyou're going through right now
to be uncomfortable, and that'snot a sign that you're doing it
wrong.
That's a sign that you're doingit right.
You're growing, and it's goingto be uncomfortable.
It's okay.
And the other thing is thatmany of your listeners might
(44:19):
relate to sometimes the feelingof maybe being a late bloomer is
being sensitive.
I find that to be a theme.
I know I feel that way, that Ididn't really start to find
myself and understand myself andtake action in a really
authentic way in my life until,like I said, my late 30s, early
40s, because I just, you know,had these stories I was telling
(44:42):
myself about what my limitationswere.
So I would encourage anyonewho's listening to really sit
down with yourself and practicethat honesty and curiosity to
say, what is your vision foryour life?
What makes you happy?
What energizes you?
And allow it to go against thegrain of what you've been told
your life should look like.
And that can be scary becausethat can invite change in your
(45:04):
relationships and your differentsituations, but develop a
creative vision.
And that was super powerful forme.
Again, I used to work incorporate America.
And when I sat down and said,you know, a vision of my future
self, like if I didn't havethese fears and these
limitations that I thought wouldhold me back, what would my
life look like?
(45:24):
And I'm so grateful and honoredto say that my life looks like
that now.
Because that futureself-narrative that I wrote was
I see myself spending my dayswriting and creating, working
with other creatives, helpingpeople find their purpose and
grow and be themselves andconsuming art, creating art,
(45:47):
having a flexible schedule.
There's all these things thatseemed so outlandish actually.
I was like, this is impossible.
Like, there's no way I could dothis, right?
Because at the time I wasfull-time, I had small children,
and like my life was sostructured to follow this
blueprint of what I thought ithad to look like, what it was
(46:07):
supposed to look like.
But I just said, let me justuse my imagination and what
would my relationships feellike?
How could I show up in theworld down to like how I would
wear my hair, how I would dress,like get really vivid with a
creative vision for your life ifyou did not think that your
sensitivity was a limitation,right?
(46:28):
And let that vision evolve overtime as you continue to feel
your way into little incrementalchanges you can make over time
to maybe bring that vision tolife bit by bit by bit, just a
little bit over time.
And you might as well, the timeis gonna pass anyway.
(46:48):
So, like there's no rush.
Like set your own pace and juststart pulling it in a little by
little.
And you can be really surprisedover time you look back and
say, Hey, like I changed thecourse of my life in a way that
didn't disrupt you don't have tocompletely disrupt your nervous
system and turn your lifeupside down, but just start
(47:10):
allowing yourself to embracethat there's a vision for your
life and for yourself that youhave, and you might find
yourself in a place that younever could have imagined.
So I would definitely want toleave people with that reminder
that you're still writing thestory, right?
You're the writer of yourstory, and the storylines that
that make you feel stuck don'thave to be the end all be all.
(47:34):
You can start craftingstorylines of like, well, what
if I did this?
What if I brought in a littlebit of this?
What if I did a little bit ofthat, and that starts to can
start to shift things?
April Snow (47:43):
I love that.
You're the writer of your ownstory.
That's right.
That's such a good takeaway.
Like, and there's so much goodon the other side of that,
right?
Just once you start writing andline by line, you don't have to
write a whole book.
Just start with one chapter,start with one paragraph.
(48:04):
It because I think we do getoverwhelmed and think, well, I
can't I can't do that today.
But what if you took one smallstep?
GG Renee Hill (48:11):
Yes.
April Snow (48:12):
Like you, like what if I start sending out some
motivational emails, and thenthat'll connect me a little bit
deeper into the true work I wantto be doing.
Right?
Or what if I let myself be alittle bit more creative, even
maybe even in my own journal?
GG Renee Hill (48:24):
That's right.
April Snow (48:25):
And then maybe eventually that comes out into
the world.
But it's just a good, a goodreminder that we don't have to
figure it all out at once.
Just lean in a little bit.
Yeah, to that what you know,what's truly calling to you.
Yeah.
Thank you for that.
Well, Gigi, this has been justa really beautiful conversation.
And I just want to thank youagain.
(48:46):
I will, for folks who want toget in touch with you, I'll
share your website, your socialmedia, your new book in the show
notes.
Can you tell us a little bitmore about Story Work?
GG Renee Hill (48:56):
Yes.
So Story Work is very muchalong the lines of what we
talked about today.
It's understanding the storieswe tell ourselves.
And I also get into conceptsand mindset shifts and actions
we need to take to reevaluateour narratives, to change those
narratives so that we areleaning into storylines that
(49:17):
empower us and move us forwardand bring us closer to our
creative vision for our livesversus disempowering us and
having us feel stuck.
And I use examples from my ownlife.
Like I mentioned, I grew upwith an undiagnosed mentally ill
mother, and I've developed alot of limited beliefs and
storylines, victim narratives asa result of that, thinking that
(49:39):
I had to stay in this box mywhole life to because I was just
too fragile and I was toodamaged.
And that led me to a darkplace.
And right, so so many of ushave different circumstances and
experiences that show up in ouradult lives.
We don't always make theconnection.
(49:59):
So I started making theconnection between struggles I
was facing in my adult life andtaking them back to where they
began.
And so by reframing my lifeexperiences, I was able to find
meaning and life lessons andways that I could grow from them
instead of seeing them aslimitations.
(50:20):
And so the book like asked youto look at your life experiences
not as these plot points oflike this happened and this is
how I look at it, and that'swhat it is, but as this is my
creative material that I get towork with.
I can choose how this impactsme and what I do with it, right?
So it's asking you to look atyour life as creative material
(50:42):
and it's giving you tools andexercises to do that with.
So I highly recommend foranyone who has felt different or
othered or stuck in that story,there's a lot of tools there
and a lot of personal storiesfrom my life that can help you
realize you're not alone andthere's a way to see your way
through that.
April Snow (50:59):
I love that.
I mean, as a therapist, thatgets me really excited because I
that's it's such deeptherapeutic work that is so
important for everybody to getto those roots, right?
Looking under the surface.
Where are these messages comingfrom?
Why am I holding myself back?
Why am I not taking up morespace in my own life?
And it's often it's storieswe're telling ourselves.
(51:21):
Yeah, so to have a kind of aroadmap through that process
that you can take your timewith.
So important.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Absolutely.
Thanks so much for joining meand Gigi for today's
(51:41):
conversation.
I hope it inspires you tojourney inward and start
rewriting your own stories.
You can find Gigi's new book,Story Work, wherever you find
your books.
The link is also in the shownotes.
If you enjoyed this episode,subscribe to the Sensitive
Stories podcast so you don'tmiss our upcoming conversations.
Reviews and ratings are alsohelpful and appreciated.
(52:03):
For behind the scenes contentand more HSB resources, you can
sign up for my email list orfollow Sensitive Strengths on
Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.
Check out the show notes orsensitivestories.com for all the
resources from today's episode.
Thanks for listening.
Get really vivid with a creative vision for your
life if you did not think thatyour sensitivity was a
limitation, right?
And let that vision evolve overtime as you continue to feel
your way into little incrementalchanges you can make over time
to maybe bring that vision tolife bit by bit.
April Snow (00:43):
Welcome to Sensitive Stories, the podcast for the
people who live with hearts andeyes wide open.
I'm your host, psychotherapistand author April Snow.
I invite you to join me as Ideep dive into rich
conversations with fellow highlysensitive people that will
inspire you to live a morefulfilling life as an HSP
(01:04):
without all the overwhelm.
In this episode, I talk withGigi Renee Hill about rewriting
the stories you have aboutyourself that say you're too
sensitive to emotional orwhatever other limiting belief
you've heard and told yourself.
And within that reframing, youfind your inner gifts that are
just hiding under the surface.
Gigi shares her own storythroughout the episode and walks
(01:27):
us through an exercise from hernew book to start looking
inward.
Gigi is a nationally recognizedauthor, creative coach, and
facilitator who guides people indiscovering the power of
storytelling as a pathway toself-discovery, empowerment, and
meaningful contribution.
Her mission is to help othersenrich their lives and
communities through thetransformative power of the
(01:48):
written word.
She is the author of severalbooks, including Story Work,
Field Notes on Self-Discoveryand Reclaiming Your Narrative,
which is available now.
For more HSP resources and tosee behind the scenes video from
the podcast, join me onInstagram, TikTok, or YouTube at
Sensitive Strengths, or sign upfor my email list.
(02:09):
Links are in the show notes andat sensitivestories.com.
And just a reminder that thisepisode is for educational
purposes only and is notintended as a substitute for
treatment with a mental healthor medical professional.
Let's dive in.
GG Renee Hill (02:47):
Hi, April.
I'm so happy to be here.
Thanks for having me today.
April Snow (02:51):
Yeah, of course.
I'm wondering if you couldstart off by sharing your HSP
discovery story.
How or when you realize thatyou're highly sensitive?
GG Renee Hill (03:01):
Sure.
It wasn't until my late, Iguess it was like the late
2010s.
It was through Dr.
Elaine Aaron's work.
Just to go back a little bit,when I was a little girl, I knew
that I was sensitive.
But so when you're first whenyou're a child, you don't label
it as that.
You know, I knew that I feltthings deeply.
(03:22):
I knew that like music anddance and art were things that I
felt really, really deeply.
I knew when I was sad, I wassuper sad that I felt for
everybody all the time.
I remember sitting on mygrandma's floor because my
grandma would always watch thenews.
And so there was always sadstories, and I felt them so
(03:43):
deeply.
So these were things I'm kindof aware of.
And then as you get older,people start telling you you're
too sensitive, right?
You start hearing it.
And like you're so sensitive,or you know, you're always
crying, or you're too so thatbecomes a narrative in your
head.
And then for me, and I knowwe'll talk about this a bit more
(04:03):
later, I started to associatethis thing that I now know as
sensitivity as like, maybethere's something wrong with me.
Like, why do I feel things somuch?
And part of that might havebeen because my mother had an
undiagnosed mental illness, andI knew she displayed behaviors
and things that were strange andout of the ordinary.
(04:26):
So as a child, we just starttrying to put things together
when adults don't explain thingsto us.
So I thought, well, maybethere's something wrong with my
brain too.
And I started like seeing allmy sensitive qualities as
evidence of that.
So all of this stuff shaped me.
And then finally, when I was anadult and really started kind
(04:47):
of going on my self-discoveryjourney and trying to get to
know myself, first I was like,ah, okay, I'm an introvert.
I really just need, you know,first it was that.
It was like, oh, okay, Istarted studying introversion
and seeing aspects of myselfthat kind of started connecting
dots, but it wasn't until Dr.
Elaine Aaron's work that I waslike, oh, it's not just me,
(05:11):
right?
Yes.
It really helped me tounderstand how I'm wired and
that there are so many beautifulstrengths to it, which I kind
of knew but wasn't reallyembracing just yet.
And I just it sent medefinitely on a deeper journey
of understanding myself as justa unique individual who has
(05:32):
these different characteristicsand that I could learn to look
at them in a positive way if Ichoose to.
April Snow (05:38):
Oh, I think that's a beautiful thing.
Yeah, when we're younger, atfirst we don't have any language
or words for it, but we donotice, oh, there's something
different about me.
I feel differently, I responddifferently to the world.
And how do I make sense ofthat?
And I also too foundintroversion first and then was
like, this isn't the wholepuzzle.
Let me keep looking.
(05:59):
And then you're like, oh,there's more to it.
And it makes sense that youknow you might have seen some
overlaps with your mom'sstruggles with mental health,
but realizing like, okay, maybethat doesn't fit completely.
There's probably more to itwhen there's that trait at the
core of your experiences.
GG Renee Hill (06:17):
Yeah, yeah.
I bet I from talking to familymembers, I get that my mom was
sensitive too, right?
Like as a child, she wassensitive.
She was, she loved to curl upwith her books like I did.
Like there's a lot ofsimilarities there.
And I think that when you arehighly sensitive, it can, and
this I'm not speaking from atherapeutic or scientific
(06:39):
perspective, saying this justfrom my own observations about
life, that when you are highlysensitive, you really have to
take care of your mental healthbecause you're so permeable and
to your environment, to trauma.
So, you know, I have mythoughts and my theories about
um my mom's life and how, youknow, it maybe went the way it
(07:00):
did without any intervention orlike awareness of mental health
and self-care growing up in hergeneration.
April Snow (07:06):
Yeah.
It's so true that you know, wereally do need to care for our
mental health as HSPs because weare more susceptible to stress,
to trauma, to, you know, beingunder resource, whatever it is.
And yeah, a lot of sensitivepeople do struggle because they
first off, they don't know thatthey're highly sensitive and
they don't know what they need,or they're not given permission
(07:27):
or space, or they don't have theresources to take care of
themselves in the right way.
And then that can manifest asother struggles.
As you saw in your mom, we seethat a lot in our community.
But yeah, thankfully they'rewe're starting to have some
conversations around it.
I think we're in the veryinfant stages of it, but you
know, even just conversationslike this, highlighting the
(07:48):
importance of it is soimportant.
You've talked about beingpermeable, feeling for everyone,
you know, feeling different.
You know, there's lots ofstories we carry around, we tell
ourselves about who we are, howwe are, before and after we
realize that we're highlysensitive.
I'm wondering if there areother examples of stories that
HSPs might be holding on to.
(08:08):
There's so many, right?
GG Renee Hill (08:10):
Like I can speak to some of mine, and just also
from being in community withpeople, things that I've picked
up from others that I big timerelated to is like just feeling
like you are too fragile forcertain experiences or
endeavors, like, okay, I can'tcontrol my emotions enough to do
this, go maybe go for this job,right?
(08:32):
Or go on this trip.
I've felt like it's just gonna,everything's gonna overwhelm
you.
Thinking that you have topretend a bit and mask yourself
to fit in, and that it's notreally safe to show your true
self.
There's so many ways that wefeel othered that we feel like
we have to hide, thinking thatyou know, that I'm too
(08:54):
idealistic or I'm too naive.
I can't be direct, I can't bedecisive, I can't, you know, I'm
not as strong as other people.
I mean, there's so there's somany that can keep us in a box.
And there's some considerationin all of them.
Yes, we do have to considerthat we have some authentic
(09:16):
needs there that, or I shouldsay, like unique needs there
that we do need to cater to andunderstand.
But I think that there's alsosome narratives that as an
empowered HSP, you can learn,and we'll talk more about that,
I'm sure, that you can start tosay, okay, well, yes, my
(09:37):
emotions are very strong, oryes, I, you know, have this deep
empathy for other people, buthow can I manage that and find
the strengths that come fromthat?
And so that I can go into, Idon't have to make my life
smaller because of this, right?
April Snow (09:56):
Yes, exactly.
You oftentimes I think we seethose unique needs as
limitations and as a like apermanent story that, oh,
because I got overwhelmed thistime or because I was more
stressed in this environment orin this situation, I can't do
anything.
I need to pull myself back.
But you're saying there's moreto the story, we can empower
(10:18):
ourselves.
Yes, absolutely.
GG Renee Hill (10:21):
And there it requires for me, it required
distancing myself a little bitfrom societal narratives, from
what I had absorbed over timefrom my environment and from a
lot of some people not sowell-meaning, but some really
well-meaning folks, right?
Who just wanted me to worryabout me or you know, wanted to
(10:45):
protect me.
But you start to absorb thoselimitations that they place on
you and to think that that'sjust well, this is just my
story.
This is just kind of what Ihave to deal with.
And, you know, in the blackcommunity, there's this
stereotype of how a strong blackwoman should be, how she should
(11:06):
act, how she should show up,how she should handle if
somebody crosses her boundaries.
And, you know, I thought I justneeded this thicker skin.
And if I didn't have it reallyorganically, I had to pretend
that I did.
So that caused a lot of turmoilfor me and just feeling like I
was performing and actingoutside of myself.
Like if someone did cross myboundaries or I was upset or I
(11:29):
was angry, I didn't know what todo with anger.
Like I have always had an issuewith anger because I think I
just suppressed it so much as achild, and then growing up and
just like I felt like I neededto.
People were always telling me,well, you shouldn't have let
that happen, or you shouldn'thave let that person speak to
you that way, or you need torespond like this.
(11:51):
So I would imitate how otherpeople responded to anger or
like looking tough, or I didn'twant people to take advantage of
me.
So I felt like I had to behavea certain way and act out a
certain way.
And it never felt right.
It never felt like this is me,but I didn't know what I wanted,
(12:13):
what was true to me.
How do I express anger?
How do I express a boundarywithout feeling mean or like you
know, just like this whole nicegirl persona that I felt like
it goes so deep, Abraham?
It goes so deep because it'slike it was genuine.
(12:34):
I am a genuinely kind personwho always thinks about if
someone does do me wrong, I'malways thinking about, well, how
did they get that way?
And like it's not really, youknow, oh, we're just all trying
our best.
And some people just didn'thave it.
I make excuses for people.
So it's like it became likethis overcorrection of like one
(12:57):
extreme to the other.
One, I'm like fawning and beinga doormat, and the other
extreme is I'm like acting out,throwing things, not knowing how
to handle my anger.
So it was just like a rollercoaster for a long time, just
trying to figure out what'sauthentic to me.
April Snow (13:14):
Mm-hmm.
It's hard because you said youwere wearing that mask, yeah,
doing what society expects ofyou.
And this is a story I've heardfrom a lot of black sensitive
women, which is wear the thickskin, be tough, you know, push
beyond your needs and ignoreyour softer sides, your
sensitive side.
Um I'm really I feel reallyexcited about you saying I'm
(13:37):
stepping out of these societalnorms, these expectations.
How has that been for you?
Has it been easy?
GG Renee Hill (13:45):
Has it been a challenge?
It's been a challenge.
It's been a lot of awkwardmoments.
Trying to experiment with newways of responding to
situations.
I think that it's interestingthat there's now more of a
societal shift towards like insocial media, you'll see a cult
(14:06):
like the soft life, right?
And like, you know, embracingself-care and getting in touch
with your feminine and all ofthis.
But slightly before that, I wasgrappling with that, right?
I was at the part of my journeywhere I was like, okay, this
thick-skinned, strong blackwoman persona is not authentic
(14:26):
to me.
What is my version of strong?
What is my version of being awell-boundaried, kind, but not
just like nice, good girl, butstill, you know, kind, but
direct and protecting myboundaries.
What does that look like forme?
So it takes a lot ofexperimentation.
And there's a lot of awkwardmoments where dynamics you have
(14:49):
in certain relationships, howyou would normally respond,
you're trying out new ways ofresponding and you don't really
know what to say or do yet thatfeels right.
So you say awkward things, yousometimes get tongue-tied, or
you just behave sort of in a waythat you feel it's more
uncomfortable before it getscomfortable again, right?
(15:11):
Yeah.
It changes your relationships,and that can be really scary and
unsettling.
There are people who benefitfrom you being so nice all the
time and so sensitive.
And like I was so, and I'mstill working on this, I'll
always be working on my conflictavoidance.
I hate conflict.
And before I would literallybetray myself to avoid conflict,
(15:36):
like whatever I needed to do tokeep the peace, to avoid the
argument, to avoid thedispleasure of someone else, or
them thinking a way about methat I don't want them to think,
that I just completely lostsight of like my own values, my
voice, all of that.
So it was a journey, and Idefinitely don't think it
(15:57):
really, really took hold.
I'm 48, well, almost 48, I'm 47now.
And this all kind of was likein my late 30s and 40s.
Like, so it was, you know, itwas after a while.
Like I went a lot of myadulthood like doing the dance,
like just trying to, you know,keep up this, keep up with
everyone else and the way theyoperated in the world.
(16:17):
And then my late 30s and 40s,it was like, how do I show up as
my most authentic self and notlose sight of the fact that my
sensitivity is a strength?
It's not something that I wantto play down for anyone, but I
also need to figure out whatstrong means for me, what
(16:41):
assertive looks like for me,right?
I just could never connectmyself with that word.
But as I'm a self-employedcreative, and I realized that
being so conflict-avoidant andso rejection sensitive was
holding me back in my career.
So I was like, I have to figureout what assertive, you know,
what that looks like.
There's so many things that ittouches in so many different
(17:04):
aspects of your life that youhave to figure it out and accept
that it's going to be a littlebit uncomfortable and awkward
figuring it out.
But once you do, you gain a newlevel of courage and confidence
that it's like a skill that youcan build, it's a muscle you
can build for sure over time.
April Snow (17:24):
I love this because it it's a good reminder that
okay, A, it's not too late.
Yeah.
And B, just because it'sawkward at first or you might
fumble, it doesn't mean that youshouldn't keep going.
Yeah.
Right?
There's something more groundedand comfortable on the other
side where you know, like, okay,I'm in alignment with myself,
with how I want to be.
(17:45):
And that there are manyversions of being assertive,
direct, boundaried.
You don't have to just do itthe one way.
GG Renee Hill (17:53):
Yes.
April Snow (17:53):
Which is which is exciting, right?
Because we don't have to bedoormats.
Yes, yes.
GG Renee Hill (17:59):
It's freeing, it's liberating, and it's very
creative.
And that's my like part of itthat I love that I'm so obsessed
with is that your creativity isa through line through all of
this because in order for you tothink differently about how
you've been like conditioned tothink, how you've become
comfortable thinking, aligningwith maybe your environment and
(18:22):
your family or your culture,whatever it is, you have to draw
on your creative muscles tolearn how to like think
differently.
Like, well, how else can Ithink about this?
How could I show up or definethis for myself?
What does it look like for me?
You have to use yourimagination a little bit, right?
And you have to like get out ofthe box and the boundaries of
(18:43):
like right and wrong and blackand white, and just kind of like
there's a whole spectrum hereof how I can be.
And I love words.
So I took it as a challenge oflike, I'm gonna find my own way
of like expressing myself andusing language, which I love and
craft and all of that.
(19:04):
And so I would often usewriting as like my practice
ground.
Like I would almost like writemy, I would write my truths, I
would write this, you know, inmy journal.
Well, this didn't feel right.
This is how I kind of want itto be.
And I would kind of do theexperimentation and writing and
(19:26):
find my way to my values andwhat I really wanted to believe
and how I wanted to show up.
And then once I got someclarity there, I could then kind
of take it off the page andpractice it in real life.
So that's how the creativityweaved into it for me.
Everybody's different, right?
And how they might use that,but that's how it was for me
(19:48):
because I would often find thatin the moment, our reactivity
kicks in.
And we, you know, so if you'reconfronted with a situation
right in the moment, and youmight feel like, okay, I've been
noticing this thing that I wantto change.
I want to change how I respondto this person or I want to
respond in this environmentdifferently.
But when you get there,emotions take over and you're
(20:11):
like, oh, I did the same thing Ialways do.
But I would like, I wouldnotice that and I would take it
back to my journal and I wouldwrite about it.
And I would write, okay, here'show it went.
And then partnering that withself-care, like mindfulness,
like, how do I slow myself downto become less reactive?
How do I pause in thoseuncomfortable moments so that I
(20:35):
can remember, hey, I wrote aboutthis, I've been working on
this.
How do I want to respond inthis situation?
And it just keeps taking thatpractice to come back to who you
want to be, what that vision isof who you want to be, like
what you picture as your bestself.
And you just literally startlooking at life as like, oh,
(20:57):
this is an opportunity topractice right now.
April Snow (21:01):
You know?
Yes, exactly.
I'm always telling my clientsthat whenever something from the
past might come up or somethingdoesn't go quite as they
expect, and like, I know this ishard.
And it's an opportunity to putsome of these tools into
practice.
GG Renee Hill (21:14):
Yeah.
April Snow (21:15):
Right?
So I and I love this because weneed that muscle memory as
HSPs.
We need to be able to walkourselves through it before it
actually happens or rewrite itafter it happens.
So I'm wondering, you know,those narratives that we have
that, you know, our differencesor our weakness, or we're too
sensitive to be in the world, orwe have these certain
limitations.
(21:35):
Can we work to reframe thosestories as part of this process
to maybe empower ourselves, tobolster ourselves for the next
conflict or the next struggle?
You know, how can that be partof that process, that healing
process?
GG Renee Hill (21:52):
Yeah, we definitely can.
I think one of the first stepsis to notice, like notice what
those narratives are.
Like we first sometimes itstarts off with just noticing
patterns, right?
There's certain patterns thatmight show up.
I used to do this exercise inworkshops where I said, notice
certain patterns where you feelfrustrated or limited in
(22:12):
relationships at work or inmaybe some third category, maybe
in friendship dynamics orsomething like that, and see if
you notice patterns across allthree.
So there's like this sort ofbecoming your own pattern
noticer or whatever, right?
You notice these patternsbecause that's like data.
It's like it helps you to see,okay, these things are showing
(22:34):
up.
And then when you peel backthat layer, so one of my
patterns is thinking that wasdefinitely in all of these
different environments, I feltlike I was shrinking.
Like I needed to align mybehavior and what I said to fit
in with whatever the dominantnarrative was.
So if I was at work, then Iwould align with the, you know,
(22:58):
sort of model what other peoplewere doing in relationships.
Even if I disagreed with mypartner, I would kind of align,
find the best way I could toalign because I didn't want to
cause an issue.
Friendships, I might not agreewith what's going on or what's
being said, or feel like someonecrossed my boundaries, but I
felt, you know.
So what is the storyline beyondthat, right?
(23:19):
The storyline is what are wetelling ourselves in those
moments?
And if we're really honest withourselves and notice that, we
can see I'm telling myself thatmy opinion, my preferences, my
values, my needs don't matter.
I'm not worthy enough to takeup space here.
If I am seen as my true self,as this belief that I have or
(23:42):
this value that I have that goesagainst the grain, I might lose
my sense of belonging, I mightlose love, I might lose safety.
We're not thinking all thatstuff in the moment.
No, it's just kind of like, butif you sit, and for me, again,
the practice is writing helps mepeel these layers back.
It could be in therapy, youpeel back these layers.
It could be in, you know,conversation with a trusted
(24:04):
loved one or friend.
But for me, it was writing.
I'm just like peeling back thelayers, peeling back the layers.
What's at the root of this?
Like, what am I telling myselfthat is causing me?
Because our beliefs um are justlike thoughts that we have that
like we think them enough thatit becomes this like rooted
belief, right?
And then our actions come fromthose beliefs.
(24:25):
So at the root of thesepatterns and storylines is like
that I'm not enough.
Like I'm not content withmyself, I'm not in tune with
myself to feel safe unlesseveryone's approving of me and
agreeing with me.
So I have to bend myself allover the place, like and fawn
all the time.
(24:45):
And so, in order to change thatnarrative, I had to think about
okay, what is at the root ofthat?
It's really wanting to feel asense of belonging, right?
It's wanting to feel a sense ofconnection.
What about my sensitivity?
That could be perceived as aweakness, but what about my
(25:06):
sensitivity could I perceive asa strength that allows me to
connect and belong, right?
So I thought about, I went, Ilooked over my life and I was
like, you know, I really have away of people come to me and
talk to me in ways that theydon't talk to others.
Like they feel safe to open up,to talk about their feelings,
(25:27):
to just put their guard down alittle bit, and that creates a
sense of connection.
That creates a sense ofbelonging in that one-on-one or
small group environment.
And that's a strength.
So I started looking at some ofthese qualities that I felt
like, oh, these things make meweak or they make me fragile or
(25:48):
whatever, and thinking about,well, these qualities also are
strengths in these situations.
So, and in order to reallyteach yourself to see it as a
strength, you have to shift yourattention a little bit more to
how can I take this quality andfind as many opportunities as
(26:09):
possible to act on it as astrength?
How can I put myself inenvironments and relationships
where I can practice thisdynamic and stand on it as a
strength and be more assertivewith it?
And so for me, what that lookedlike was I was writing and I
was doing the self-discoverywork and I wanted to share it
because people started to, oh,well, you know, what you wrote
(26:32):
really resonated with me.
Can you tell me more about howyou got there?
And I was like, oh, yes, I cantell you all the things.
And I felt like, wow, they'revaluing this part of me that I
thought was a weakness or that Ithought I had to hide.
Let me see how I can carve outmore space in my life for these
activities, practices,environments where these
(26:53):
qualities are valued andappreciated.
And how do I shape my life toreflect that?
And that can be scary and hardbecause a lot of times we're
looking to be valued in placeswhere we're kind of trying to
fit a square, what is it, squarebox into a round hole?
April Snow (27:15):
Square peg into a round hole.
Yeah.
GG Renee Hill (27:19):
So like at work, and I didn't even really realize
I was doing at the time when Iworked in corporate America, I
worked in financial services.
So I was praised for you knowbeing organized and being
helpful and I'm adaptable.
I learned how to do my jobwell, but I wanted to bring more
of that quality that I feltlike I needed to hide into work.
(27:41):
So I remember I started sendingout these weekly motivational
emails.
I only did it for a little bitbecause I started to feel
self-conscious about it and Istopped.
But it was the beginnings ofsomething.
I wanted to say, like, okay, Idon't feel like this job is
(28:01):
really tapping into the bestpart of me, right?
The part of me that helpspeople develop, helps people
speak from their deeper selves.
How do I bring that into thisjob where I'm like a client
coordinator?
Like, how do I do that?
And I just startedexperimenting with ways to bring
the qualities that I knew thatI really valued and that made me
(28:24):
feel alive and that made mefeel inspired.
How do I bring those qualitiesinto these environments where
they're not necessarily lookingfor that?
But this is what I want tobring.
This is my wholeness.
This is my whole package.
So whether it was my job orcertain relationships, just
little by little bringing thatin.
And to bring it back to yourquestion of how we can kind of
(28:48):
reshape those narratives, it'srecognizing the strengths that
are in those qualities andfinding opportunities in your
life to practice and to leadwith those qualities so that
your emphasis is more on thenarratives that empower you, the
characteristics, the developingnarratives around these
(29:09):
characteristics that empower youinstead of the narratives that
disempower you.
And for the challenges, I'llsay this real quick too.
For the challenges, the otherside of that is learning how to
better take care of yourself,right?
So you're not bypassing thefact that, yeah, sometimes being
sensitive is just hard.
(29:30):
And like you get your feelingshurt or you know, things happen,
and there's these challengingaspects of it.
Sometimes you do get takenadvantage of, right?
Like some people, there arejust like the unpretty side of
it.
So how do you learn whileyou're focusing on your
strengths and learning how tobuild your strengths, you also
have to manage the shadow sidewhere you learn how to take much
(29:53):
better care of yourself, andthat combination of things can
then change the story you tellyourself about your sensitivity
overall.
April Snow (30:04):
Yeah, you're really living that rewrite of the
narrative.
GG Renee Hill (30:07):
Yes.
April Snow (30:08):
Yeah, I love that because it's all right.
Just to layer it, okay.
We definitely need to recognizethat yeah, sometimes being
sensitive is hard.
We get easily overwhelmed.
Like you said, we get ourfeelings hurt.
But there's also thesebeautiful elements of being
creative, intuitive, empathetic.
And I love this idea of bringit forward wherever you are.
(30:29):
Don't wait.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
Because oftentimes people don'trealize what we're capable of.
We don't even realize it.
But when they experience it,they usually love it.
They love those moments ofinspiration or extra care or us
taking up a little bit morespace.
A lot of times it's not thatpeople don't want us to take up
space.
We just don't do it.
(30:49):
Hey, how about that?
Yeah.
Let yourself in.
Yes.
So I love that we're looking atboth.
We're looking at the struggles,we're looking at the strengths
and recognizing what are theroots there, right?
What touches everything andwhat's really important to you
to bring forward?
I'm wondering if you could walkus through an exercise around
(31:10):
maybe how to work with some ofthose internalized messages.
I know you have some resourcesin your new book, story work
around this process.
Is there one that would feelright to share in this moment?
You can walk listeners through?
GG Renee Hill (31:25):
Yeah, I think there's one that's really
actionable for listeners whereit ties in with what we were
just talking about, where youstart off by maybe just making a
list of those qualities andtraits that have made you feel
different, that have made youfeel othered or challenged
through your life.
Just make a list, list themout.
Even that can feel reallycathartic and really good.
(31:45):
Start there.
And then you want to thinkabout how have these things been
challenging, right?
Like make a list, not so muchlike situations, but just like
how it makes you feel, you know,the challenges of it.
And then make a list of howhave these things also led to
(32:08):
positive experiences, right?
How do these qualities enrichmy life?
How do these qualities allow meto enrich the lives of others?
What are the strengths thatcome with it?
Right.
And so sometimes in order toget to the strengths, because
I've worked with clients beforewho were like, I can only think
of the hard things.
I can only think of the hardthings.
(32:28):
It's then sometimes a questionthat helps is like, okay, how
else just ask yourself, how elsecan I look at this?
What else can be true aboutthis?
What am I telling myself aboutthis characteristic?
And how else can I think aboutit?
And that can lead you to thestrengths, right?
So you look at both, likerealizing that it's like the two
(32:49):
sides of a coin thing.
Any quality that you name has alight side and a shadow side.
Any quality.
So I just want to think of anexample of myself.
One of the qualities that Ilove about being sensitive is
how much I enjoy like art andmusic and creativity, and I can
(33:13):
just get lost in these thingsand just daydream and be very
whimsical.
The shadow side of that is thatfor a long time it was very
hard for me to get grounded.
Especially when I started mycreative career, I think that
being in corporate grounded meand I just kind of shut down my
creativity.
So when I started this creativecareer, I was in the clouds,
(33:35):
April.
I was like, oh, this isawesome.
I don't need any structure.
I can just be free and floatalong.
And the shadow side of that waslike, I didn't have any
structure.
I didn't have anything toground me.
So there's two sides toeverything.
Like, so my creativity allowsme to do this work and to come
up with new services and newproducts and all these things
(33:56):
that are great.
But I need to ground myself aswell so that I can have a
business and so that I can paymy bills and make a living.
That's just one example.
But to be able to look at yourstrengths and the, I don't want
to call them weaknesses, but thechallenges from both sides and
(34:16):
just name those things.
So if you're listening, do thisexercise, name the strength,
name the quality, name thestrengths that come with it, the
challenges that come with it.
And then I would suggest justdoing some free journaling about
how you can make room in yourlife for little habits to carve
out more space to experimentwith those strengths.
(34:38):
Like, how are you holding backon the strengths?
Like if you know you're reallygood at connecting with people,
helping people, something likethat, is that showing up in your
life, right?
Are you bringing that into yourrelationships and your job and
the things you do?
And if not, explore that.
Just be really honest withyourself through some free
journaling.
(34:59):
And then on the other sidewhere you're thinking about the
challenges, how do you usuallyrespond to those challenges?
Are you avoidant?
Are you running away from them?
Are you just kind of like,well, I just won't do that
thing?
Or are there some things youcould think about in terms of
self-care to learn how to managethe challenges, right?
So, you know, for my example, Ifelt like, well, if I create
(35:24):
this structure, then it wasgonna stifle my creativity and
all of that.
So the way I faced thatchallenge was to educate myself,
right?
And to like really learn as aneurodivergent thinker, and
like, how can I develop myself?
How can I learn maybemindfulness practices?
How can I learn some aspectsabout, you know, sort of getting
(35:47):
very specific about the help Isought out?
Like, I don't need to just betaking business classes, I need
to be taking business classesfor neurodivergent people,
right?
So it's getting very specificand knowing, hey, these are some
challenges that I have.
They don't have to belimitations, they can be things
that I can learn how to developmyself and get help with and
(36:09):
find my own unique way ofaddressing those concerns.
So just like applying that towhatever your challenges are,
whatever causes you to feeloverwhelmed or those
limitations, everything's figureoutable, everything you can
navigate, right?
And find out a way to deal withit.
And one of the things I say inthe book is that question any
(36:31):
narrative that you have or anybelief that you have that leaves
no room for creativity or hope.
Like it's just like, nope, Ican't do this, period.
If you feel yourself in thatall or nothing space, it's time
to soften that and get curiousabout it.
Like, well, I think I could geta little bit more curious with
this and see if there's anotherway I can look at this.
(36:53):
And it starts to open the doorto possibilities that maybe
you'd never considered before.
April Snow (36:58):
Yeah, it's true.
I love zooming in on certainqualities because it really does
pull so much out of it of oh,this uh highlights not just a
challenge, but an opportunity ofwhere I can take up more space
and step more into myself.
Yeah.
Like something I've beenworking on is just letting my
empathy be big, my care forpeople be big, because a lot of
(37:19):
times I've held that backbecause people are like, oh,
it's too much, or what if theythink it's too much?
And I'm just more forthcomingwith it.
Like I'm a very empathetic,caring person, and I just want
to love everyone in my life big,and that's okay.
But I love that piece around ifit feels stuck or if it feels
stagnant where there's no room,some things out.
There's a block to be curiousabout that.
(37:40):
Yeah, yeah.
Look a little closer at that.
Yeah, I think this is just abeautiful unfolding and just
getting to know ourselves moreas sensitive people and we
really try to put our, you know,align ourselves with how other
people are showing up, and itjust doesn't work for us.
Let's rewrite the script.
Yes, make our own rules.
(38:02):
I really appreciate that.
GG Renee Hill (38:04):
And community helps with that so much.
If you can find even just oneperson who you can connect with
on that level of highsensitivity, you feel seen, you
feel heard, and you feelnormalized.
Like this is okay.
And then it gives youconfidence to take your way of
being out into the world and notapologize for it anymore.
(38:25):
And to your point, like feelinglike, oh, my empathy is too
much, I have to hide it in theseenvironments.
That is one of those thingsthat we can test out and say,
instead of shrinking away fromthis, what would happen?
Think of it as a superpower andnot something weird, not a
weakness, but like this is mysuperpower.
(38:47):
I had a therapist say that tome.
And even though at the time Ihad that language somewhere in
my universe already of like turnyour weaknesses into
superpowers, when she said it,it just hit me in the chest in
such a way.
She said, We were talking aboutsensitivity and how you know
the kind of a conversation we'rehaving here.
And she said, you know, myfamily used to always give me a
(39:08):
hard time for being soempathetic and so sensitive.
And I told them, that's mysuperpower, and I'm not gonna
apologize for it.
And I was like, you know what?
Yes.
Like, I think if you have thisunderlying belief that, and it
always goes back to thatunderlying belief, if you're
still harboring that underlyingbelief that you sneakily do
(39:29):
think it is a weakness, and yousneakily do think it makes you
less than or othered, then whenpeople give you that feeling
that you're doing too much, itjust it you almost look at it as
like, oh, there's evidenceagain that I'm doing too much,
right?
Right.
But if you work on that innerbelief, that inner narrative,
(39:50):
and that knowing, trustingyourself that no, this is a
gift, this is a superpower, thenpeople can say that and it just
kind of it kind of blows overyou in a different way.
Like, you know, this you don'tneed everybody to get it because
you have given yourself theaffirmation, the
(40:10):
self-affirmation you need, andmaybe you have a few key people
in your life that really see youand affirm that for you.
Like that's where communitycomes in.
And it just doesn't bother you,the people who don't get it
quite as much.
April Snow (40:23):
It's funny because I've seen people step into that
empowered space of being asensitive person, and it works
out really well most of thetime.
GG Renee Hill (40:32):
Yeah, yeah.
It's just the getting over thatinitiation fear of doing it and
changing it and showing updifferently.
And the thing that I think thatreally helps, in addition to
community, is self-care.
And I know self-care is like itcan be just like this word that
has a lot of different peoplehere and sometimes think like
(40:53):
pampering and all of that.
When I say self-care, I'mtalking about like really deeply
affirming yourself through andpouring into yourself, like
filling your cup with healthypractices that make you feel
really good about who you are,right?
Taking care of yourself, takingwalks, moving your body, eating
(41:14):
well, like have this machine,this body, right?
The more we give it what itlike, the spiritual physical
connection is very real.
So the more we give it what itneeds, the more we feel like I
like who I am.
I'm taking care of myself, Iknow myself, I know what my
needs are.
I know that when I'm operatingin this fully like in my
(41:39):
wholeness, that I feel stronger,I feel more impactful and all
of that.
And you don't feel as wobbly.
I felt much more wobbly in whenI wasn't taking as good care of
myself and I allow people'sopinions, and I really was
craving acceptance andvalidation to make me feel
strong or to make me feelworthy, to make me feel like I
(42:00):
belonged, because I wasn'tgiving that affirmation to
myself.
So I know that you know, nowfrom years of practice, if I do
start to feel wobbly like thatagain, that means I need to
center myself.
Like what you ask myself, whatdo I need?
I need to take a walk, put mypods on, maybe listen to my
favorite podcast or some music,something that makes me remember
(42:21):
who I am and what energizes me.
And then I can go back out intothese environments where
everybody doesn't have to get mebecause I get myself.
So if you're listening andyou're like, okay, I feel like
scared to really show up thisway and to just own myself, like
that self-acceptance has tocome first.
(42:42):
You have to really find thatwithin yourself.
And a lot of times the way wetake care of ourselves and give
ourselves those experiences andhabits and practices that make
us feel like ourselves, thathelps to get us there.
April Snow (42:57):
Oh, it really does.
And if we can just spend moretime with ourselves, going
inward, taking care ofourselves.
And it doesn't have to becomplicated, it can be as simple
as going for a walk, listeningto your favorite music, moving
your body a little bit, or youknow, getting into bed earlier,
or nourishing your body withsome good food, whatever,
(43:17):
whatever works for you isbecause I always remind HSPs, a
little bit goes a long way.
We don't need a lot to feel abig impact.
So it's a good reminder to youknow, just pour back into
yourself a little bit, you know,check in.
What do I need?
What's going on in thebackground for me?
Right?
What what what are the storiesthat are influencing how I think
(43:37):
and feel about myself?
Yeah, there's just so muchthere to uncover.
So, Gigi, I'm wondering as westart to wrap up, if there's any
last messages you have for theHSPs who are listening who are
in the process of finding theirstrengths and rewriting those
differences and trying to kindof reclaim their personal
stories.
Is there anything that you wantto leave them with before we
(43:58):
end?
GG Renee Hill (43:59):
Yeah, there is.
I want to two things, and wesort of touched it on part of
this already, and that is it'sokay to be uncomfortable.
It's okay for the processyou're going through right now
to be uncomfortable, and that'snot a sign that you're doing it
wrong.
That's a sign that you're doingit right.
You're growing, and it's goingto be uncomfortable.
It's okay.
And the other thing is thatmany of your listeners might
(44:19):
relate to sometimes the feelingof maybe being a late bloomer is
being sensitive.
I find that to be a theme.
I know I feel that way, that Ididn't really start to find
myself and understand myself andtake action in a really
authentic way in my life until,like I said, my late 30s, early
40s, because I just, you know,had these stories I was telling
(44:42):
myself about what my limitationswere.
So I would encourage anyonewho's listening to really sit
down with yourself and practicethat honesty and curiosity to
say, what is your vision foryour life?
What makes you happy?
What energizes you?
And allow it to go against thegrain of what you've been told
your life should look like.
And that can be scary becausethat can invite change in your
(45:04):
relationships and your differentsituations, but develop a
creative vision.
And that was super powerful forme.
Again, I used to work incorporate America.
And when I sat down and said,you know, a vision of my future
self, like if I didn't havethese fears and these
limitations that I thought wouldhold me back, what would my
life look like?
(45:24):
And I'm so grateful and honoredto say that my life looks like
that now.
Because that futureself-narrative that I wrote was
I see myself spending my dayswriting and creating, working
with other creatives, helpingpeople find their purpose and
grow and be themselves andconsuming art, creating art,
(45:47):
having a flexible schedule.
There's all these things thatseemed so outlandish actually.
I was like, this is impossible.
Like, there's no way I could dothis, right?
Because at the time I wasfull-time, I had small children,
and like my life was sostructured to follow this
blueprint of what I thought ithad to look like, what it was
(46:07):
supposed to look like.
But I just said, let me justuse my imagination and what
would my relationships feellike?
How could I show up in theworld down to like how I would
wear my hair, how I would dress,like get really vivid with a
creative vision for your life ifyou did not think that your
sensitivity was a limitation,right?
(46:28):
And let that vision evolve overtime as you continue to feel
your way into little incrementalchanges you can make over time
to maybe bring that vision tolife bit by bit by bit, just a
little bit over time.
And you might as well, the timeis gonna pass anyway.
(46:48):
So, like there's no rush.
Like set your own pace and juststart pulling it in a little by
little.
And you can be really surprisedover time you look back and
say, Hey, like I changed thecourse of my life in a way that
didn't disrupt you don't have tocompletely disrupt your nervous
system and turn your lifeupside down, but just start
(47:10):
allowing yourself to embracethat there's a vision for your
life and for yourself that youhave, and you might find
yourself in a place that younever could have imagined.
So I would definitely want toleave people with that reminder
that you're still writing thestory, right?
You're the writer of yourstory, and the storylines that
that make you feel stuck don'thave to be the end all be all.
(47:34):
You can start craftingstorylines of like, well, what
if I did this?
What if I brought in a littlebit of this?
What if I did a little bit ofthat, and that starts to can
start to shift things?
April Snow (47:43):
I love that.
You're the writer of your ownstory.
That's right.
That's such a good takeaway.
Like, and there's so much goodon the other side of that,
right?
Just once you start writing andline by line, you don't have to
write a whole book.
Just start with one chapter,start with one paragraph.
(48:04):
It because I think we do getoverwhelmed and think, well, I
can't I can't do that today.
But what if you took one smallstep?
GG Renee Hill (48:11):
Yes.
April Snow (48:12):
Like you, like what if I start sending out some
motivational emails, and thenthat'll connect me a little bit
deeper into the true work I wantto be doing.
Right?
Or what if I let myself be alittle bit more creative, even
maybe even in my own journal?
GG Renee Hill (48:24):
That's right.
April Snow (48:25):
And then maybe eventually that comes out into
the world.
But it's just a good, a goodreminder that we don't have to
figure it all out at once.
Just lean in a little bit.
Yeah, to that what you know,what's truly calling to you.
Yeah.
Thank you for that.
Well, Gigi, this has been justa really beautiful conversation.
And I just want to thank youagain.
(48:46):
I will, for folks who want toget in touch with you, I'll
share your website, your socialmedia, your new book in the show
notes.
Can you tell us a little bitmore about Story Work?
GG Renee Hill (48:56):
Yes.
So Story Work is very muchalong the lines of what we
talked about today.
It's understanding the storieswe tell ourselves.
And I also get into conceptsand mindset shifts and actions
we need to take to reevaluateour narratives, to change those
narratives so that we areleaning into storylines that
(49:17):
empower us and move us forwardand bring us closer to our
creative vision for our livesversus disempowering us and
having us feel stuck.
And I use examples from my ownlife.
Like I mentioned, I grew upwith an undiagnosed mentally ill
mother, and I've developed alot of limited beliefs and
storylines, victim narratives asa result of that, thinking that
(49:39):
I had to stay in this box mywhole life to because I was just
too fragile and I was toodamaged.
And that led me to a darkplace.
And right, so so many of ushave different circumstances and
experiences that show up in ouradult lives.
We don't always make theconnection.
(49:59):
So I started making theconnection between struggles I
was facing in my adult life andtaking them back to where they
began.
And so by reframing my lifeexperiences, I was able to find
meaning and life lessons andways that I could grow from them
instead of seeing them aslimitations.
(50:20):
And so the book like asked youto look at your life experiences
not as these plot points oflike this happened and this is
how I look at it, and that'swhat it is, but as this is my
creative material that I get towork with.
I can choose how this impactsme and what I do with it, right?
So it's asking you to look atyour life as creative material
(50:42):
and it's giving you tools andexercises to do that with.
So I highly recommend foranyone who has felt different or
othered or stuck in that story,there's a lot of tools there
and a lot of personal storiesfrom my life that can help you
realize you're not alone andthere's a way to see your way
through that.
April Snow (50:59):
I love that.
I mean, as a therapist, thatgets me really excited because I
that's it's such deeptherapeutic work that is so
important for everybody to getto those roots, right?
Looking under the surface.
Where are these messages comingfrom?
Why am I holding myself back?
Why am I not taking up morespace in my own life?
And it's often it's storieswe're telling ourselves.
(51:21):
Yeah, so to have a kind of aroadmap through that process
that you can take your timewith.
So important.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Absolutely.
Thanks so much for joining meand Gigi for today's
(51:41):
conversation.
I hope it inspires you tojourney inward and start
rewriting your own stories.
You can find Gigi's new book,Story Work, wherever you find
your books.
The link is also in the shownotes.
If you enjoyed this episode,subscribe to the Sensitive
Stories podcast so you don'tmiss our upcoming conversations.
Reviews and ratings are alsohelpful and appreciated.
(52:03):
For behind the scenes contentand more HSB resources, you can
sign up for my email list orfollow Sensitive Strengths on
Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.
Check out the show notes orsensitivestories.com for all the
resources from today's episode.
Thanks for listening.
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