January 10, 2024 • 10 mins
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What's keeping you from reaching your desires?
Join us on this week's podcast episode as we uncover the three common barriers that could be standing between you and your aspirations.
Get ready to be inspired and motivated to break free from limitations, unlock your potential, and live the life you've envisioned.
Chapters
00:00 - Intro
01:27 - Here's a reminder: Be kind to yourself.
01:47 - #1 The 'why': How does it hold you back?
03:04 - #2 Unhelpful thinking or self-sabotage: How does it hold you back?
05:02 - #3 Being vague, not specific: How does it hold you back?
05:54 - Link to journaling journey
07:02 - Remember: You are important.
08:02 - Why is it important to be aware of these 3 things?
10:01 - Outro
Connect with me on Instagram @fridakabo and share your thoughts on this episode!
***
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Remember to be kind toyourself, really see that you're
important, see that what youwant to create is important
and that you can prioritizeit in front of other people
and if it's important to you.
And do it.
Welcome to the SensitiveSuccess Podcast, where we
explore the unique challengesand opportunities that
(00:21):
comes with being a sensitivechangemaker in today's world.
I'm your host, Frida Kahlbo,and I have spent the last
decade recreating my life.
I moved from Sweden to NewZealand and now live in the
beautiful bush with my husbandand two kids, homeschooling
and creating a life andbusiness that works for me with
the help of my sensitivity.
and support othersto do the same.
(00:41):
I'm excited to shareconversations with experts,
thought leaders, and fellowsensitive people who also
see the world throughthe lens of sensitivity.
Thank you so much for beinghere because it means that
you're creating sensitivesuccess too, which is
precisely what the world needs.
Let's get started.
Hello, it's Frida Kavlo here.
(01:04):
And I wanted to talk aboutthree things that might hold you
back from doing what you want.
And yeah, we are, a coupleof weeks into the new year
and I thought it would bevery fitting to talk about
this right now because if youalready feel like you're failing
on those, the resolutionsor goals they had for the
(01:24):
year, well this is for you.
So remember to be kind toyourself because what happens
when we feel like we're failingon something is that we can
start beating ourselves upfor it and making ourselves
wrong or all of those things.
So remember to be yourown best supporter.
And be kind to yourselfand instead of doing that,
explore why it's happening.
(01:46):
So the first thing is the why.
So the first thing that canhold you back from doing what
you want and doing all thoseresolutions or goals or whatever
you call it and whateveryou label it as, is why.
Why are you doing it?
Have you really anchoredit into yourself?
Is it something that youwant to do for yourself or
is it something that you feellike you should be doing?
(02:09):
Because should all.
It usually comes from theoutside and when we say
should, I should be doing this.
What happens if youchange that to want to do
this, I want to do this.
Is it still true for youor don't you want to do it?
And then, then you haveyour answer to why you're
not succeeding becauseyou don't want to do it.
(02:31):
So really anchor in if thewhy is big enough for you and
also is it important for you.
And are you willing toprioritize it because
it's one thing to say,Oh, I want to do this.
And it's a totally otherthing to really say, I'm
going to prioritize this.
This is one of the mostimportant things right
now that I'm doing.
(02:52):
So I'm going to put thisfirst and that's how
I'm going to succeed.
Right.
And that also has to do with it.
Why is it really somethingthat you want to prioritize?
Is it really somethingthat you want to do?
The other thing that I wanted totalk about is unhelpful thinking
patterns or self saboteurs.
That's something thatcan hold us back as well.
(03:14):
And especially when wewant to create those
bigger, bigger things.
And that is actually one ofthe self saboteurs, that we
want to make it too big, sowe won't be able to make it.
There's so many self saboteursand they came to be because
they want to protect us.
They want to keep us safe.
They want to keep usfrom doing things.
(03:34):
And we all have a lot ofdifferent self sabotage or
unhelpful thinking patterns.
One of them is all or nothing.
I'm going to do this or I'mnot going to do it at all.
I'm going to go all in.
I'm going to go take away allthe The unhealthy food, uh,
or else, uh, I'm not goingto do it at all and just keep
(03:56):
on eating pizza every day.
So that's an unhelpful thinking.
And the important thing hereis that we become aware of our
unhelpful thinking patterns.
And Really tune in towhat is this really true?
Do I have to make itall or nothing or can I
just start a little bit?
(04:17):
Another one is, especiallywhen we do these resolutions,
is I'm gonna do this forever.
I'm gonna do be the new meand that can also be really
unhelpful because we haveto exercise our brain to
create those new pathwaysthat makes us be that person
(04:38):
that does that forever.
So just experiment with it,make it playful, make it an
experiment that you do insteadof saying, Oh, I'm going to
do this forever, which canbe really hard to Day two.
I'm going to trythis for a month.
I'm going to try thisfor another month.
And then to see howwould, how do I feel?
Is it really something thatI want to do long term?
(05:00):
And like, then youcan evaluate it.
Another thing that can be aself saboteur is being vague.
I want to be healthy.
And what kind of goal is that?
Is that like, whatdoes that really mean?
Dig into what does that mean?
Because when you becomespecific, it's much,
much easier to, to, toreach the goal, right?
(05:24):
If we're just saying,I want to be healthy.
We're just saying, yeah, it'sa fluffy, vague goal that
you can't reach because youdon't really know what it is
about or why or what it means.
And yeah, there's so manyother self sabotage or
unhelpful thinking patterns.
Don't know why it needsto be this or that.
(05:49):
And yeah, so many more.
And we explore some of themin the journaling journey.
So if you want to join that,you can go to the link below
and it's 21 days to reallylook into what Different
unhelpful thinking patternscan hold you back and create
clarity on what you need tocreate your sensitive success.
And yeah, you canstart it whenever.
(06:10):
So whenever you're listeningto this, you can go in there
and experiment with the 21 dayhabit that will support you.
And if you want to, itcan support you for life.
Okay.
That was the number two.
And number three also goes intothe first one of prioritizing
and why, but also to see thatyou are important because What
(06:31):
I'm seeing many, especiallyus highly sensitive that are
easily tuned into other peopleis when we put something down
that is really important tous and we're really anchored
in the why and we look at theunhelpful thinking patterns
and just adjust it to that.
What can happen is that.
We are not taking ourselves,uh, seriously enough.
(06:55):
We are not prioritizingourselves and saying that,
yes, I'm important, I wantthis, and I'm going to do it.
So really see that you'reimportant, see that what
you want to create isimportant, and that you can
prioritize it in front ofother people, and that if it's
important to you, then do it.
And just see that that issomething that you need to do.
(07:19):
And let other people know that,yeah, I'm doing this thing.
It's really important to me.
I would appreciateyour support on that.
Or, yeah, I'm doing thischallenge right now.
So it's what I'm focusingon at the moment.
So I can't help you with that.
I'm sorry.
Or whatever it is.
Right.
And we can do this unconscious.
But.
Just become aware of whenyou are putting others in
(07:41):
front of yourself, becauseyou are the most important
person in your life.
No one else is going toput you in that place.
You have to putyourself in that place.
So, yeah, those are threethings that can hold you back
from doing what you want.
So, your why is it strongenough, unhelpful thinking
patterns, and not seeing thatyou are important, but you are.
(08:03):
So, yeah, really become awareof these things can help you
tune into and maybe tweak thosegoals or tweak those intentions.
And also to knowwhat works for you.
If you are an all or nothingperson, then that might be what
is working for you and just seewhen it's an unhelpful pattern
or when it's actually helpful.
(08:24):
Sometimes we just have tojump and throw in the towel
and say, yes, I'm doing thisand there's nothing else.
But sometimes we just haveto take one step and then add
on one, another step and thenadd on another and another.
And it's those smallsteps that takes you to
the mountaintop, right?
(08:44):
And yeah, also commit toshorter periods and just,
as I said, explore, havefun with it, experiment.
So, yeah.
Don't feel like you're failing.
See it as information.
It's when you starttaking those steps that
you get new information.
And that information can bethat, No, this is not what I
want to prioritize right now.
(09:05):
So then you look at,Okay, what do I want to
prioritize right now?
And why, Why did it feelimportant then and not now?
And yeah.
There's so much you can explorethere and see instead of
saying, Oh, I failed already.
It's not, I'm wrong.
Like, you know, all the storiesthat we can go into, but see it
as information that helps yougo forward and helps you grow.
(09:28):
It's this life is a journeyin growth, and we are here
to explore and experience.
So.
There are really no failures,there's just new information,
so I hope that will help youto keep on going with the goals
you set up or tweak them andfind better things that you
(09:50):
want to create or feel or be.
this year.
So I hope that washelpful to you.
Have a beautiful day.
Talk to you soon.
Bye.
Welcome to the sensitivesuccess podcast, where we
explore the unique challengesand opportunities that comes
(10:10):
with being a sensitive changemaker in today's world.
I'm your host, Frida Kahlo,and I have spent the last
decade recreating my life.
I moved from Sweden to NewZealand and now live in
the beautiful bush withmy husband and two kids.
Homeschooling and creatinga life and business that
works for me with the helpof my sensitivity and support
others to do the same.
(10:30):
I'm excited to shareconversations with experts,
thought leaders, and fellowsensitive people who also
see the world throughthe lens of sensitivity.
Thank you so much for beinghere because it means that
you're creating sensitivesuccess too, which is
precisely what the world needs.
Let's get started.
Remember to be kind toyourself, really see that you're
important, see that what youwant to create is important
and that you can prioritizeit in front of other people
and if it's important to you.
And do it.
Welcome to the SensitiveSuccess Podcast, where we
explore the unique challengesand opportunities that
(00:21):
comes with being a sensitivechangemaker in today's world.
I'm your host, Frida Kahlbo,and I have spent the last
decade recreating my life.
I moved from Sweden to NewZealand and now live in the
beautiful bush with my husbandand two kids, homeschooling
and creating a life andbusiness that works for me with
the help of my sensitivity.
and support othersto do the same.
(00:41):
I'm excited to shareconversations with experts,
thought leaders, and fellowsensitive people who also
see the world throughthe lens of sensitivity.
Thank you so much for beinghere because it means that
you're creating sensitivesuccess too, which is
precisely what the world needs.
Let's get started.
Hello, it's Frida Kavlo here.
(01:04):
And I wanted to talk aboutthree things that might hold you
back from doing what you want.
And yeah, we are, a coupleof weeks into the new year
and I thought it would bevery fitting to talk about
this right now because if youalready feel like you're failing
on those, the resolutionsor goals they had for the
(01:24):
year, well this is for you.
So remember to be kind toyourself because what happens
when we feel like we're failingon something is that we can
start beating ourselves upfor it and making ourselves
wrong or all of those things.
So remember to be yourown best supporter.
And be kind to yourselfand instead of doing that,
explore why it's happening.
(01:46):
So the first thing is the why.
So the first thing that canhold you back from doing what
you want and doing all thoseresolutions or goals or whatever
you call it and whateveryou label it as, is why.
Why are you doing it?
Have you really anchoredit into yourself?
Is it something that youwant to do for yourself or
is it something that you feellike you should be doing?
(02:09):
Because should all.
It usually comes from theoutside and when we say
should, I should be doing this.
What happens if youchange that to want to do
this, I want to do this.
Is it still true for youor don't you want to do it?
And then, then you haveyour answer to why you're
not succeeding becauseyou don't want to do it.
(02:31):
So really anchor in if thewhy is big enough for you and
also is it important for you.
And are you willing toprioritize it because
it's one thing to say,Oh, I want to do this.
And it's a totally otherthing to really say, I'm
going to prioritize this.
This is one of the mostimportant things right
now that I'm doing.
(02:52):
So I'm going to put thisfirst and that's how
I'm going to succeed.
Right.
And that also has to do with it.
Why is it really somethingthat you want to prioritize?
Is it really somethingthat you want to do?
The other thing that I wanted totalk about is unhelpful thinking
patterns or self saboteurs.
That's something thatcan hold us back as well.
(03:14):
And especially when wewant to create those
bigger, bigger things.
And that is actually one ofthe self saboteurs, that we
want to make it too big, sowe won't be able to make it.
There's so many self saboteursand they came to be because
they want to protect us.
They want to keep us safe.
They want to keep usfrom doing things.
(03:34):
And we all have a lot ofdifferent self sabotage or
unhelpful thinking patterns.
One of them is all or nothing.
I'm going to do this or I'mnot going to do it at all.
I'm going to go all in.
I'm going to go take away allthe The unhealthy food, uh,
or else, uh, I'm not goingto do it at all and just keep
(03:56):
on eating pizza every day.
So that's an unhelpful thinking.
And the important thing hereis that we become aware of our
unhelpful thinking patterns.
And Really tune in towhat is this really true?
Do I have to make itall or nothing or can I
just start a little bit?
(04:17):
Another one is, especiallywhen we do these resolutions,
is I'm gonna do this forever.
I'm gonna do be the new meand that can also be really
unhelpful because we haveto exercise our brain to
create those new pathwaysthat makes us be that person
(04:38):
that does that forever.
So just experiment with it,make it playful, make it an
experiment that you do insteadof saying, Oh, I'm going to
do this forever, which canbe really hard to Day two.
I'm going to trythis for a month.
I'm going to try thisfor another month.
And then to see howwould, how do I feel?
Is it really something thatI want to do long term?
(05:00):
And like, then youcan evaluate it.
Another thing that can be aself saboteur is being vague.
I want to be healthy.
And what kind of goal is that?
Is that like, whatdoes that really mean?
Dig into what does that mean?
Because when you becomespecific, it's much,
much easier to, to, toreach the goal, right?
(05:24):
If we're just saying,I want to be healthy.
We're just saying, yeah, it'sa fluffy, vague goal that
you can't reach because youdon't really know what it is
about or why or what it means.
And yeah, there's so manyother self sabotage or
unhelpful thinking patterns.
Don't know why it needsto be this or that.
(05:49):
And yeah, so many more.
And we explore some of themin the journaling journey.
So if you want to join that,you can go to the link below
and it's 21 days to reallylook into what Different
unhelpful thinking patternscan hold you back and create
clarity on what you need tocreate your sensitive success.
And yeah, you canstart it whenever.
(06:10):
So whenever you're listeningto this, you can go in there
and experiment with the 21 dayhabit that will support you.
And if you want to, itcan support you for life.
Okay.
That was the number two.
And number three also goes intothe first one of prioritizing
and why, but also to see thatyou are important because What
(06:31):
I'm seeing many, especiallyus highly sensitive that are
easily tuned into other peopleis when we put something down
that is really important tous and we're really anchored
in the why and we look at theunhelpful thinking patterns
and just adjust it to that.
What can happen is that.
We are not taking ourselves,uh, seriously enough.
(06:55):
We are not prioritizingourselves and saying that,
yes, I'm important, I wantthis, and I'm going to do it.
So really see that you'reimportant, see that what
you want to create isimportant, and that you can
prioritize it in front ofother people, and that if it's
important to you, then do it.
And just see that that issomething that you need to do.
(07:19):
And let other people know that,yeah, I'm doing this thing.
It's really important to me.
I would appreciateyour support on that.
Or, yeah, I'm doing thischallenge right now.
So it's what I'm focusingon at the moment.
So I can't help you with that.
I'm sorry.
Or whatever it is.
Right.
And we can do this unconscious.
But.
Just become aware of whenyou are putting others in
(07:41):
front of yourself, becauseyou are the most important
person in your life.
No one else is going toput you in that place.
You have to putyourself in that place.
So, yeah, those are threethings that can hold you back
from doing what you want.
So, your why is it strongenough, unhelpful thinking
patterns, and not seeing thatyou are important, but you are.
(08:03):
So, yeah, really become awareof these things can help you
tune into and maybe tweak thosegoals or tweak those intentions.
And also to knowwhat works for you.
If you are an all or nothingperson, then that might be what
is working for you and just seewhen it's an unhelpful pattern
or when it's actually helpful.
(08:24):
Sometimes we just have tojump and throw in the towel
and say, yes, I'm doing thisand there's nothing else.
But sometimes we just haveto take one step and then add
on one, another step and thenadd on another and another.
And it's those smallsteps that takes you to
the mountaintop, right?
(08:44):
And yeah, also commit toshorter periods and just,
as I said, explore, havefun with it, experiment.
So, yeah.
Don't feel like you're failing.
See it as information.
It's when you starttaking those steps that
you get new information.
And that information can bethat, No, this is not what I
want to prioritize right now.
(09:05):
So then you look at,Okay, what do I want to
prioritize right now?
And why, Why did it feelimportant then and not now?
And yeah.
There's so much you can explorethere and see instead of
saying, Oh, I failed already.
It's not, I'm wrong.
Like, you know, all the storiesthat we can go into, but see it
as information that helps yougo forward and helps you grow.
(09:28):
It's this life is a journeyin growth, and we are here
to explore and experience.
So.
There are really no failures,there's just new information,
so I hope that will help youto keep on going with the goals
you set up or tweak them andfind better things that you
(09:50):
want to create or feel or be.
this year.
So I hope that washelpful to you.
Have a beautiful day.
Talk to you soon.
Bye.
Welcome to the sensitivesuccess podcast, where we
explore the unique challengesand opportunities that comes
(10:10):
with being a sensitive changemaker in today's world.
I'm your host, Frida Kahlo,and I have spent the last
decade recreating my life.
I moved from Sweden to NewZealand and now live in
the beautiful bush withmy husband and two kids.
Homeschooling and creatinga life and business that
works for me with the helpof my sensitivity and support
others to do the same.
(10:30):
I'm excited to shareconversations with experts,
thought leaders, and fellowsensitive people who also
see the world throughthe lens of sensitivity.
Thank you so much for beinghere because it means that
you're creating sensitivesuccess too, which is
precisely what the world needs.
Let's get started.
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