First Live Show Energy - Session 35

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The energy hits before the mics settle. We’re live, a little nervous, and completely ready to say the quiet parts out loud: how long do you stand by a partner who falls off financially, and what does “trying” actually look like when bills are due? The first debate stretches from six-month shot clocks to no deadlines at all, but lands on something simple and uncomfortable—character shows up in the grind, not the promise. If you can take any job while you rebuild, your partner can carry faith a lot longer.

From there, we widen the lens and ask what we need to relearn as a community. Respect. Real conversations. Dating with intent. Keeping kids close past 18. Accountability. The audience brings heat and heart, reminding us to read for ourselves, bring back standards, and stop acting like support is a luxury. We talk self-forgiveness and the hard art of letting go—of old stories, of roles that don’t fit, of people who won’t meet us halfway. Self-love isn’t a meme; it’s a boundary you keep when it hurts.

Then we challenge a habit most of us have picked up: praising celebrities while ignoring our own. Algorithms reward spectacle, but communities grow when we show up in rooms like this, buy the ticket, share the link, and clap loud for friends. We close with the questions everyone is asking: why aren’t we marrying, and why don’t we stay? The answers aren’t tidy. Time changed, expectations shifted, and too many of us skipped the personal work that partnership demands. Marriage can still be worth it—if two whole people bring standards, discipline, and a plan they can hold when life gets heavy.

By the end, the room feels lighter. Not because problems disappeared, but because people told the truth. We leave you with this: invest in your person the way you want someone to invest in you. Support your own. Do the work on yourself first. And if this conversation moved you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and drop a review so others can find their way to the room.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_08 (00:00):
Y'all know what y'all are here for.
I need everybody to clap yourhands right now.
Even my brothers.
My brothers in this bitch, likeI ain't talking to you niggas.
Clap your hands too.
All right, dog.
Here we go, dog.
Y'all know what we're here for,man.
This is the first live podcast.
Make some noise for that.

(00:21):
That's not right, dog.
I'm not calling these people upto that type of energy, dog.
I appreciate y'all supportalready, but we're about to show
some love.
Fuck support, dog.
This is the time to really showthese people love for what
they've been doing, man.
Everybody put your handstogether right now.

(00:41):
I like it.
All right, all right, all right,all right.
I think we're there.
I think we're there, dog.
Y'all know when you deal withthese six people, dog, they be
so specific in what they wantyou to do.
So I'm gonna read this bitchexactly how they want me to do
it before I get fired on my offday.
Like these niggas, I'ma hecklethe out of them because that's

(01:04):
where to god I'm sick of theseniggas.
I be commenting, I be liking andsharing this shit.
They don't never read my shiteither.
Y'all gonna hear me today,though.
And we got the fellas in thisbitch, too.
So it's like, yeah, what wasyour when I was on the show?
It was just me and that bitch.
They act like all women wasgood, like not my baby mama,

(01:28):
like every bitch except for her.
You feel me?
All right, man.
I need the energy high.
I want y'all to clap your hands.
If y'all want to shout out,that's cold to me.
So show these people some love.
I'm introducing them one by one.
Don't let the energy go downuntil I get done with everybody
that's about to come up here.

(01:49):
Y'all good.
Say all right if we good.
I like it.
Come to the stage first,Brendan.
Make some noise.
Come on, man.
Keep that shit going till we getup here.
Come on, man.
Damn, you wanna walk down thisbitch like a wrestler.

(02:11):
Come on.
You doing the intro?
What you doing?
All right, which where you don'tsee that?
Find a seat, sir.
Turn his shit.
You at the wrong seat.
God damn, I thought I was gonnafuck up.

SPEAKER_11 (02:32):
Can y'all hear me?
All right, all right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for the love.
Appreciate y'all for being inattendance.
We're about to get the showstarted.
Mom wouldn't, I'm not sure ify'all were introduced to me at
the beginning, but I'm one ofthe hosts.
Got a small business.
I turn vacant houses into rentalproperties for out of state
investors.
I rap, podcast, barber, one stopshop.

(02:54):
You know, you can follow me.
Make some noise for thescammers.
No, I was just a jack of alltrades, but you know, I'll get
y'all my social media at the endof the show.
Hopefully, y'all enjoy, and Iappreciate y'all again coming
out tonight.

SPEAKER_08 (03:11):
Keep that same energy, y'all.
Keep that same energy.
I'm introducing next Lake.
Make some noise, y'all.
So I'm talking about.

(03:32):
Yeah, welcome, welcome.
Oh, you want me to keep going?
No, you got on corduroy.
So I want to say something.
Whatever.
Oh, you already been there.
I'm gonna keep going.
I didn't know you was gonna grabyour old mic.
You grabbed that bitch quick.
Like, yeah, I want those boats,dog.

(03:55):
Keep that and keep your handsgoing, dog.
This about be quick.
We walking it down.
Coming up next.
It's see your wife.
I mean, Jim, make sure that'sfor gin, y'all.
Yo, sister law.
Come on.
Cover them up for me, y'all.
This is my people's.

(04:16):
Hell yeah.
And I took her mic, she's aboutto be mad as fuck.
Listen, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna give it to you.
You want to say something rightnow?

SPEAKER_03 (04:23):
Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_08 (04:24):
You sure?
Positive.
Inquiry reminds one of no.
You sure?
Positive.
All right.
You be vocal as fuck online.
You gotta wait on me to getdown.
As soon as you take this mic,she'll be like, fuck you! All
right, uh, y'all ready for y'allnext host?
No, I need to interview how weare here for this.

(04:45):
This is our time, y'all.
This is our time coming next.
It's crystal.
Make some nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She took up from me until Istarted talking.

(05:06):
She was like, all right.
It's a little too much.
I don't know where the niggaswas, but y'all left me to get
jumped, dog.
They fucked me up on that shit.
I blocked it from my page.
Like, nigga, this is bullshit,but y'all ready?
No, I mean, I don't know whyy'all ever stopped clapping,

(05:27):
dog.
The next person is probablygonna get mad because I keep
accidentally fucking the nameup.
Y'all like you better not.
Like, yeah, you're right.
Put your hands together rightnow.
Victor.
Yeah, come on now.

(05:48):
Oh, we letting you.
We living here.
No, y'all don't get it.
We a live podcast.
They need to hear y'all.
They can't see y'all.
They need to hear y'all.
That's fire, man.
I appreciate y'all.
Coming up last, man, to thispanel.
It's Dante.
Come on.

(06:08):
It's the East Side, ain't it?
Come on, keep coming until youget up here, man.
They need to hear y'all.
Yeah, all right, man.
Hey, to everybody here, Iappreciate y'all for coming,
man.
To the panelman, I appreciatey'all for having me.
If y'all ever need me foranything, let me know.

(06:29):
But I'm not coming back on thepod unless it's one of these
niggas there.
Y'all not doing me like this.
All right, y'all.

SPEAKER_07 (06:38):
Chris.
Okay, it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 (06:42):
Thank you.
Dang it.
I'm just joking.
All right, y'all.
Hey everybody.
What up though?

SPEAKER_05 (06:51):
What's up?

SPEAKER_03 (06:52):
Welcome to Session 35 Podcast.
Yo, yo, yo, go, go, go, go.
So if you already can't see thenerves, they there.
So excuse me from reading fromthese nerve cards, y'all.
Just a little bit.
So tonight is just a littledifferent.
So if you're listening in, weare actually hosting an

(07:14):
in-person session tonight.
So you may not hear our guestsif they try to engage, but
they're here.
So I just want to thank y'allfor being here tonight for us on
our very first session.
Yes.
Yes.
So how tonight is gonna go?
We all have one topic that wewant to address.

(07:37):
So our time is limited.
So uh let's just get to it.
I don't have to introduce them,they already introduced
themselves.
Well, thanks, Sean.
So we just gonna hop right oninto it.
I hope y'all remember y'all'stopics.
I yelled at y'all enough forthat, Brandon.
I'm first damn you first.

SPEAKER_11 (07:57):
I got to gonna get my okay.

unknown (08:00):
My bad.

SPEAKER_11 (08:01):
Time tired.
So my topic is how long shouldyou wait before you explore your
wait?
If your mate is to fall off, howlong should you wait before you
start exploring your options orgoing back to the drawing board?

SPEAKER_14 (08:19):
Fall off what type of way?

SPEAKER_11 (08:21):
Financially.
So for example, let's just sayyou had a man that was taking
care of everything, bills,everything.
So you only had to do the womanstuff that you had to do, right?
Now, hard times fall off,happen, he gambled, whatever
happens, lose all the money.
Right?
How long?

SPEAKER_05 (08:43):
I heard a year.

SPEAKER_11 (08:46):
We're gonna come back to it.
All right, so we got a year outthere.
Now, keep in mind this man beenholding you down for X amount of
years.
He just happened to run intothis, he just happened to run
into this rough spot.
So now your time is taken onyour side.
How long do you have in yourtime clock to take on his

(09:08):
responsibilities that he wastaking on for a hard?

SPEAKER_03 (09:11):
Well, for me, it'll be it'll be how long have you
been falling off?
Because a lot of people are alot of people think just falling
off at not having money.
You can fall off in a lot ofways.
I don't think a good man, uhsomeone would ditch him a good
man for just having a fall off.
You might have to been fallingoff in a lot of other areas for
me to just ditch you, right?
So it depends, like how longyou've been falling, fall off in

(09:33):
all areas.

SPEAKER_11 (09:33):
You want me to address it?
I don't know.
That's your question.
No, we're talking about fall offin the aspects of the areas that
count.
We ain't talking aboutemotional, we're talking about
all the things that build upyour dream guy, the guy that
you've been in love with.
What if you lose all of thattoday or tomorrow?

SPEAKER_14 (09:50):
I mean, if you still, I mean, if you're a
trying man, I'm not gonna justleave you, but if you just
falling off and just sittingthere soaking in your no, we
still got bills to pay.
Okay, it's gone, we gone.
The bills on top of it.

SPEAKER_11 (10:04):
You gotta keep in mind it's been the man that's
been holding you down for xamount of years.
So now you have a shot clock onhim.
You see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 (10:15):
I don't think it's a clock, it shouldn't be a clock.

SPEAKER_12 (10:18):
Okay, you just told me.

SPEAKER_03 (10:19):
I need six months clock for me.
A clock is not three to sixmonths.

SPEAKER_02 (10:24):
Because if it it don't matter what job you get,
as long as you get a job.

SPEAKER_11 (10:27):
Let's let's go through the whole pattern,
right?
So you take three to six months.
Three to six months.
What would you say?

SPEAKER_03 (10:32):
No time limit.

SPEAKER_09 (10:34):
What would you say, Jack?
What would you say, Chris?
For me, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (10:44):
Well, that was that's in my answer.
I don't see me just leaving foryou just having a follow up.

SPEAKER_11 (10:48):
It gotta be some type of time frame for me that
you expected him to bounce backwithin though, before you at
least come into the drawingboard, like hey, but when you
fell in it with a time frame,you already going in the wrong.

SPEAKER_03 (11:00):
True.
I agree, I agree with youranswer.
Every time that I think aboutthe time you fell in.
So if you had a time on it, howI put a time on it, it ain't
gonna work right.

SPEAKER_09 (11:10):
I agree, I agree with your answer, but let's see
what you say.

SPEAKER_14 (11:13):
So, how much you know, when you start a job and
they give you a time limit thatyou're at that job, what is it,
60 to 90 days?

SPEAKER_11 (11:20):
Yeah, before you get before you reap the benefits,
all right.
All right, so look.
My reason for this question isokay, so most women got it's
some type of time clock, even ifyou don't feel it, the men gonna
feel it.
You know what I mean?
We automatically know, like ifat any point in time when you
fall off, this is like a uh no,y'all just feel guilty.

(11:43):
It's like an hour, it's like anhourglass.
If you can't maintain themaintenance of your car, you
ain't gonna be able to keep it.
It's the same thing for yourwoman, it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 (11:51):
I think you would feel that way if you don't know
your lady, you know, like if youwere in a house with your woman
and feel like she's about toditch you.

SPEAKER_11 (11:58):
No, we all feel distance at times, not that, but
what I'm saying is like you seehow she had like three 90 days,
six months, a year, right?
It's been a man that's beenleading you, maybe y'all been
together for 10 years.

SPEAKER_14 (12:12):
But you keep adding on years, it don't matter about
years.
You need to be trying something,right?

SPEAKER_11 (12:18):
But listen, if you went from if you that's just
like financially stable people,a basketball player, a
basketball wife, you are goingto expect a certain lifestyle,
you're not gonna accept justbecause this guy was a scholar
and making this type of moneyfive years, you ain't gonna
accept it.
One year where he's making fivethousand dollars just because he
went out and tried.

(12:39):
That's so trying is notadequate.
You get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_14 (12:43):
Like, you gotta feel the trying, I will I will hold
it down.
But if you ain't trying at all,I don't want you now.

SPEAKER_11 (12:50):
Wait, I just now listen.
I just I disagree because look,I'm not agreeing with you.
I disagree.

SPEAKER_02 (12:55):
A lot of times you don't find out who people your
man is until he falls off.
Sometimes it's like you I needto know how how strong you are.
Are you able to get up and getanother job?
Are you able to go to McDonald'sand work a McDonald's job for at
least a week or two until youfind another job?
Are you able to go and what'sanother job that don't make a

(13:16):
lot a lot of money?
Whatever.

SPEAKER_03 (13:18):
But why everything?
Let me cut let me cut.

SPEAKER_12 (13:22):
Let me let me cut the fat.
Wait, let me cut the let me cutthe fat off the conversation.

SPEAKER_11 (13:26):
He said financially, they want to be nice, fellas.
You know what I'm saying?
They they want to be nice in allactuality.
Yes, a trying man is a manthat's doing something, but in
the dating world, you gotta havesome financial stability to date
in the market.
Of course, of course.
If you ain't got nothing, allright, all right, all right, all
right.
So you agree, right?
Right, but you didn't say that.

(13:46):
You said you didn't say that,you said hold your man down for
years.
Okay, so if you always accusatethings.
So originally the statement wasif he's been holding you down
for years and y'all gave thesetime frames, right?
The whole purpose of thisstatement is to show you that
you guys say you want equalrights, but it's not, it's never
a time who is we wait, wait,wait, let me finish.

(14:06):
I don't want to be let mefinish, let me finish, let me
finish.
It's never a time where a mancan stop being a man.
I'm a woman, I fan.
Like, so at all points in times,you're expected to be a man.

SPEAKER_14 (14:18):
So ain't y'all supposed to leave, right?

SPEAKER_11 (14:20):
So you following right into suit where I'm going
with this.
So if a man is supposed to lead,right, and y'all that mean that
I'm supposed to do all the manstuff, and whatever we deem as
the feminine stuff, y'allsupposed to do, right?
So if I'm providing these thingsfor you, you should have the
same, like Jen said, time frameas me because we're supposed to
be partners in crime, right?
I invested into you the same wayyou invested into me.

(14:44):
Time, but when it came to myside of the fence, I had to get
my shit together right so youcan live the lifestyle that you
used to live.
If you ain't willing to go tothe bottom with me, why you
gonna go to the top with me?
Why do you even deserve that?
You get what I'm saying?
I get what you're saying.
You gotta go through the mud.
You gotta that man is on tosomething.

(15:05):
Listen, listen, for one thing,one thing for sure.
You see how you it's like yougotta see what your man in bad
times.
Your man in bad times is notfinancial strain.
Your man in bad times is no, Ididn't see that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I know you did.
I know you did.
I'm just saying, I'm justspeaking to the masses.
Your man in bad times is notfinancial strain.
We go through the same thingsthat y'all go through, we just

(15:26):
hide it better than y'all do,and we have less outlets to
express it.

SPEAKER_02 (15:30):
Sometimes y'all had it better than us.
So let me get I got a questionsometimes when when that clip,
you gonna hold the woman down?
Not all the time.

SPEAKER_14 (15:37):
You know when y'all get tired of we when we don't do
stuff for y'all, y'all say wedon't do stuff for y'all, and
y'all go out and cheat.
For sure.

SPEAKER_10 (15:43):
For sure.
Me and don't cheat.
Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_12 (15:48):
Me and don't cheat.

SPEAKER_10 (15:50):
Yeah, y'all some cheaters.

SPEAKER_12 (15:53):
Say it one more time for the people in the back.
Me and don't cheat.

SPEAKER_14 (15:56):
When it flipped, yeah.
If that script flip, yes, and westop doing our part.
Is y'all gonna hold this time?

SPEAKER_11 (16:03):
Yeah, we still gonna go to the next, yes, because we
still expect it to pay thebills, we still expect it to
take you on dates, we stillexpected to do everything that
I'm entitled to do as a man.
How are you gonna do it?
How are you gonna managemultiple women if you're not
doing these type of things?
You gotta think, man.
This like when women be like,Man, you all messing with the
hoes.

(16:23):
If your man don't got no money,he don't got no holes.
So, where does these holes?
What is these thing for y'all?
Because listen, if you need meand I'm your man and I treat you
good and I treat the other womengood, why they ain't blowing up

(16:45):
my phone?
What a hole is that becauseniggas call me and be like, What
a hole is that I be looking forthem too.
Like comment.
I used to ask my girlfriend,like, what holes do you speak
of?
Ain't nobody calling my phone,don't nobody need me like you.

SPEAKER_03 (17:01):
Let me comment on your original question because
y'all don't got it.

SPEAKER_12 (17:06):
I'm just saying, you need some money to fuck with the
holes.

SPEAKER_03 (17:09):
I'm just no, I feel like with your original
question, Brandon, I don't thinkit should be a time limit.
I think everybody just needs toknow their relationship.
Yeah, you can't hold somebodydown, you made him 90 days ago.
I'm just saying for it, youknow, so it won't apply to
everybody because you know itmatters how long you've been in
this relationship, how thingsshould work.
I can only speak for myself whenI'm in a marriage.

(17:31):
We I know for a fact, and yougotta know your partner.
I know for a fact if my husbandwas to lose his job and I'm
holding us down, we just gonnanot necessarily switch roles,
he's just gonna pick up a lot ofmy other duties.
Because, like us, you know whatI mean?
But he's gonna probably be todoing the cooking, like we're
not gonna lack in no other area.
Y'all gotta do it.
He picked up all the extraslack.
So speak on a date know yourrelationship.

SPEAKER_11 (17:49):
If you were dating, would you still feel that way?
If y'all were if y'all were inthe dating stage, would you
still feel that way?

SPEAKER_03 (17:54):
In the dating world, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (17:55):
No, like drawing that.
Like, let's speak to the ladiesthat's in the dating world.
Yeah, six months.

SPEAKER_02 (18:09):
I'm not gonna do wifely duties as a girlfriend,
and I don't expect you to dowifely duties as a as just a
boyfriend.
But at the end of the day, Iexpect you to still have a job.
I expect for you to still takecare of yourself.

SPEAKER_03 (18:24):
I don't mind helping you, but I'm only gonna help you
to a certain extent.

SPEAKER_02 (18:29):
I can't speak for every woman.
I ain't asking my somebody I'mdating to pay my bills.
I'm not doing that because I'mgonna pay my own bills.
But at the end of the day, youstill need to have a job because
I ain't getting with no brokemen.

SPEAKER_12 (18:44):
True, I understand that.
So, fellas, take notes.

SPEAKER_14 (18:47):
If you broke, don't date home, don't date.
Invest in your children, broke.

SPEAKER_03 (19:01):
We think broke.
That ain't no.
I don't want no way, like nomoney in my pocket.
No, no.
That nigga might not havesomebody might be lying.

SPEAKER_02 (19:13):
Hey, look, bro, bro say that's too much time.

unknown (19:16):
Three, six months, too much time.

SPEAKER_02 (19:18):
I mean, I'll just put it out there.

SPEAKER_05 (19:20):
All right.

SPEAKER_02 (19:22):
I gotta give a person a chance to get a job.

SPEAKER_03 (19:25):
All right, we've you gotta give a person a chance to
get a job.
We're gonna switch gears alittle bit.

SPEAKER_09 (19:30):
Okay.

unknown (19:30):
I'm on it.

SPEAKER_03 (19:31):
GN.
I forgot.

SPEAKER_04 (19:34):
Yes.
We got GN.

SPEAKER_03 (19:41):
No, we're gonna go on order.
Oh, we're gonna trade across theline.
Well, go for always boss.

SPEAKER_02 (19:46):
Okay, so um, so my topic is I'm gonna have audience
participation as as well as Iwant to get my castmates their
feedback as well.

SPEAKER_03 (19:57):
So my topic is what do we need to relearn as far as
like anything in your life?

SPEAKER_02 (20:05):
Like, if your parents ever taught you
anything.
So for me, or like what do yousee in society?

SPEAKER_03 (20:11):
Well, we need to relearn.
So I feel like I got a couple ofthings.
I feel like we need to learn howto respect people.
I feel like Salina will respect,I feel like we need to learn how
to talk to each other.

SPEAKER_02 (20:23):
Yes, I feel like we need to learn how to date, we
need to learn how marriage issupposed to go.
Stop keeping secrets, parents.

SPEAKER_04 (20:36):
So that's for me, Brandon.
You want to give your feedback?

SPEAKER_11 (20:39):
I would say we we we need to uh relearn as a society
probably how to humbleourselves.
No matter how high you climb, itall can change in a matter of
seconds.
Everything that you done workedyour whole life up can end just
as soon as you know what I mean.
So that's one thing, respectingeach other, being together, like

(21:02):
you know what I mean?
Like, for example, like it'speople that be outside
penhandling, be at gas stations,you know, we all got our daily
struggles in life and stuff likethat.
But just take for a second andthink, like uh a dollar ain't
hurt you none.
You know what I mean?
Even though this person might beout here pen handling, doing

(21:23):
whatever they do, if it's onyour heart to give it to them,
give it to them, because younever know that might make a
difference in somebody's life,you know what I'm saying?
You never know the impact thatyour life has on somebody
else's.
So just knowing how to loveourselves more, then we'll know
how to love other people more.
So that's what I got.

SPEAKER_03 (21:42):
Gene.
I think as a society we need tolearn how to, I mean, not even
gonna say a society for myself,learn how to forgive.
Holding grudges, making smallthings, big things, and also
learning how to set boundariesand sticking to them.
If you set a boundary and stickto it, it's easier to forgive

(22:06):
because you know, somebodycrossed that boundary, and
that's what you set foryourself, and it don't bother
you as much because it don't itdon't bother you.
You let it go, you know.
So forgiveness, Crystal.
Y'all know I'm never ready.

(22:27):
To remember that no one owes youanything.
Come on, yeah, it's it's yourresponsibility to create the
life that you imagine foryourself, you know.
So stop putting what you want toachieve on other people, get out
there and get it.
Come on, nobody owes younothing.

SPEAKER_05 (22:45):
Come on, Kira.

SPEAKER_14 (22:55):
Okay, I will say, me personally, and I know a lot of
people, it would be showingyourself grace.
We tend to be so hard onourselves about a lot of things,
things that fail, things that'snot going right.
So we be hard on ourselves.
So I would say show yourselfsome grace because we get up

(23:17):
every day, even though we don'twant to, we have to still make
it work.
So show yourself grace.

SPEAKER_05 (23:23):
All right, gotcha.

SPEAKER_13 (23:31):
I say we gotta relearn how to be ourselves
because we I agree, we just wejust don't give ourselves enough
credit.
It's like we always trying tohelp other people.
We worried about this person,worried about that person to the
point where we forget aboutourselves.
So that's what I feel you justgotta be yourself.

SPEAKER_02 (23:52):
Yeah, so do anybody else sorry, do anybody else have
anything in the audience theywant to say what we need to
relearn?

SPEAKER_04 (24:04):
You say duck?

SPEAKER_03 (24:07):
Rebuild?
That's a good one, very goodone.

SPEAKER_04 (24:09):
Rebuild yourself, rebuild okay.
All right now.
Anybody else?

SPEAKER_05 (24:20):
Stand bring standards.

SPEAKER_03 (24:22):
Bring back shame.
That was great.
Please bring back standards.
You in the back?
Yeah, stop copying paste it.
No, he didn't.

SPEAKER_12 (24:32):
Say that a little louder.

SPEAKER_03 (24:33):
Say that a little louder.

SPEAKER_02 (24:39):
Yes, yeah.
Grow up.
Yep, yep.
Anybody else?
Young lady in the back with theglasses.

SPEAKER_04 (24:53):
Come on.
Yeah, come on.
Yeah.
I don't make my kids leave at18.

SPEAKER_02 (24:59):
I got one right there.
She knows.
I said, You ain't gotta leave.
I tell my son exactly.

SPEAKER_04 (25:04):
Yes.

SPEAKER_05 (25:05):
Yes.

SPEAKER_03 (25:05):
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (25:06):
My baby's paying we forever.

SPEAKER_05 (25:09):
Right.

SPEAKER_12 (25:14):
Come on.
Yeah, come on.
That's that's what other otherraces do.
Other races do it.
Yeah, other races do it.
Other races do we have to do it?
You gotta protect yours forsure.

SPEAKER_04 (25:21):
You have your hand up.

SPEAKER_12 (25:22):
Oh, you got one more in front of you.

SPEAKER_01 (25:25):
Yeah.
Come on.

SPEAKER_04 (25:31):
Come on.

SPEAKER_05 (25:34):
Come on.

SPEAKER_02 (25:36):
Come on.
That's my auntie right there,y'all.
She's fine.

SPEAKER_05 (25:40):
Okay, auntie.

SPEAKER_07 (25:44):
Yes, I feel that.

unknown (25:46):
We ought to show some love.

SPEAKER_05 (25:48):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (25:48):
Yeah.
You ought to grow on socialmedia all today and come on.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (25:56):
It does.
It does.
It does.
Just like supporting goes a longway.
Support, sharing.

SPEAKER_11 (26:03):
Networking.

SPEAKER_02 (26:05):
Go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 (26:12):
Come on.

SPEAKER_13 (26:14):
Now that's a good one.
You should run for mirror.

SPEAKER_01 (26:17):
We come out later.
We started to get away from thefacts.

SPEAKER_03 (26:22):
Who oh, who was next?
Sam, you got one?
No, you right here.

SPEAKER_02 (26:27):
He was next.

SPEAKER_05 (26:30):
Come on, read the word.

SPEAKER_03 (26:33):
Oh, okay.
I know I'm not the Lord.

SPEAKER_04 (26:35):
I know the Lord.
Do y'all know the Lord?
Come on.

SPEAKER_03 (26:42):
That's right.
Come on.

SPEAKER_02 (26:44):
Yes.
Our pastor always told us thatyou read for yourself.
Don't ever take somebody else'sword for it.

SPEAKER_06 (26:52):
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (26:53):
You go ahead.

SPEAKER_06 (26:56):
Come on, accountability.

SPEAKER_02 (26:58):
Yes.

SPEAKER_13 (26:59):
Yes.
Let my man go.
You better.

SPEAKER_02 (27:01):
Who's over here?

SPEAKER_03 (27:02):
Accountability.
Oh, that's a hard young man inthe back.

SPEAKER_02 (27:10):
Come on.
Y'all got some good answers.

SPEAKER_04 (27:12):
We need to have them on the mind.

SPEAKER_03 (27:18):
Okay, we're gonna start.
We do need talking back.

SPEAKER_05 (27:24):
Oh, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (27:31):
Shut up with the man something.
So I mean really all of themdoesn't come.

SPEAKER_06 (27:39):
Yes.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (27:46):
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
This is what you should have hadon your men versus women.

SPEAKER_01 (27:53):
Y'all do not want to do that.

SPEAKER_04 (27:55):
Okay.
Over here.
You had your hand up since here?

(28:20):
It definitely is because you'reworking on this.
That's my other daughter, y'all.
Come on now.
I got some brilliant people inhere.
Come on, cuz.
Yes.

SPEAKER_03 (28:40):
Come on.
You're you're taking otherpeople.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (28:52):
Come on.
Come on, eh.

SPEAKER_05 (28:54):
Come on, cuz.

SPEAKER_04 (28:55):
All right, we got one more right here.
Oh, you got somebody okay.

SPEAKER_06 (29:07):
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (29:09):
Everything's necessary.

SPEAKER_06 (29:11):
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (29:12):
I see you got something I wanted versus like
what did you want?

SPEAKER_06 (29:15):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (29:16):
Come on now.
Y'all are smart.
Come on.
Go ahead.
Oh.

SPEAKER_02 (29:24):
That's a good one.
That's my other auntie, y'all.
She's so smart.
Come on now.

SPEAKER_04 (29:29):
Auntie.
Auntie came.
Auntie.
No, they're my real lifeaunties.

SPEAKER_03 (29:37):
Right.
Y'all aunties too.
All right, here.
You in here bringingcompetition.
Auntie's gonna have a podcast ina minute.
All right, come on, y'all.
All right, thank y'all again.
Thank y'all.
Thank you.
Collection plate.
That was good.
We're gonna have to do that oneagain.
I love that one.
All right, Gian.
Oh, my topic time.

(29:57):
Yes, ma'am.
I want To speak on celebrities.
I feel like we give them so muchpower over us.
And I don't understand why.
Like with social media, evenwith the podcasts, it's like
people seem to respect them andlook at them more than they own

(30:19):
people.
It's like they birthday come, werushing to tell them happy
birthday.
We sharing their kids.
We doing all of these things,but it's like when it's your own
people, you look right past it.
I don't understand it.
Like, why?
True.
I don't understand that.
I never understood that either.
I just don't get it.

SPEAKER_14 (30:38):
And they really be like, they really be down for
them, like the Nicki Minaj fansback.
They be behind.
They be ready to be chosen.

SPEAKER_10 (30:45):
No, them Chris Brown fans.
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (30:48):
No, we can't leave our Beyonce fans either.
They be crazy.
But why do you think that reallyis?
I think that's some deep,something way more deeper behind
it.
Um, we definitely need tonormalize supporting our own
people.
Yeah.
You know, because if I see y'alltelling Nicki Minaj, happy
birthday, and my birthday, y'allain't said nothing.
I mean that's the problem that Ihave.

(31:11):
It's like when like now we'rejust now starting off, but then
when you become big or youbodies, then everybody wants to
be on the bandwagon and be allfor it.
But when it's at the startingpoint and you crawling from
nothing, nobody wants to bethere.
Like I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_11 (31:29):
I think I told you this the other day.
Nobody believes until youachieve.
Okay, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 (31:34):
Yeah, and that's place went to the film.
They went to the film.

SPEAKER_11 (31:38):
So, like your to answer your question, like why
people think celebrities,because they're looking at them
as success successful peoplethat made it to the top of their
class.
So this is how they should livetheir life.
I don't even follow celebrities.

SPEAKER_03 (31:52):
When you look at them on the internet, they real
ignorant and slow.
So come on, you know, that's myword.

SPEAKER_11 (31:56):
I'm sorry, slow, but but that just shows but people
not looking at the intelligence,they looking at the material,
yeah.
What they the lifestyle, thelifestyle, I think, the jury,
yeah, the mind.
They don't care about who thesepeople are for real.
You know what I mean?
Like the music don't the musicthat the people put out don't
even reflect the lifestyle thatthey actually live.

(32:17):
Like, you know what I mean?
Why?
Telling y'all forget a nigga,all this, but got a nigga at
home that love them and takecare of their kids.
But as soon as they go to thestudio, it's fuck your baby
daddy.
Yeah, and they acting clean.
You see what I'm saying?
They do everything that y'alldon't do to maintain the men,
but propagate everything for youto be single.

(32:38):
You see what I'm saying?
Like none of these women aremaking songs.
Well, maybe some of the RBsongs, you know what I'm saying,
tell them cater to you and stufflike that.
But that ain't really the genreof music that everybody just go
into until you clean it up oryou in a love-making mood.
You see what I'm saying?
But everything that you takingin, the social pictures, the
bags, the jerk, the hairstylesfrom the clothes, everything is

(33:02):
on somebody popular that youlike.
And this is how you get youridea of it.

SPEAKER_03 (33:07):
Tied into what look uh Keila said.
We need to relearn how tosupport one another.
Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_11 (33:12):
Normalize supporting your audience.
I think that people, I think, inthat part of relearning, though,
you gotta actually reteachpeople this shit.
Like, I think we done got soprogrammed to being robots or
like what society expects us tobe that people don't even know
how to genuinely support you nomore.
Like, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_14 (33:30):
Yeah, it's all about self, so but they don't want you
know, nowadays they don't wantto support you, they don't want
to see you doing better thanthem.
It's just how some people youcan support somebody every day,
be there at them for every day.
You have one important thing youwant them to be there.
Where are they at?
Not here, and then they gonnathey're gonna call you
afterwards, they're gonna callyou afterwards to give an
excuse.

(33:50):
I don't want to hear that thequeen of support here.

SPEAKER_02 (33:55):
I think we I think it's easy to celebrate
celebrities because weconstantly see them, especially
social media now.
Like, first off, I just boughtlike a hundred damn near two
hundred dollar ticket, and thenyou got a subscription.

SPEAKER_03 (34:12):
What Instagram does $5.99 million dollars.
But they doing but they do it,and you are to watch their
videos, right?
Yeah, not me though, but yeah,they do, they do.

SPEAKER_02 (34:26):
I don't look up any celebrities.
I got favorite singers likeBrandy.

SPEAKER_03 (34:30):
Yeah, and it's okay to you know, but I don't look up
to nobody, them, you know.
But again, we need to normalizesupport your own people, and
again, relearn how to love thepeople around you, right?
And you ain't paying attentionthat now that they are paying on
social media, the celebritiestook over it.
Yes, they got all the followersnow, they got all the videos,
they doing get ready with me'sis like they didn't give y'all

(34:54):
anything, and now it's a checkinvolved, but you in a few.
This is who you want to follow.
This is who you want to, yeah.
I don't know.
I think that's crazy.
It is that over though.
I mean, for me, it's weird toscroll past my mama, yeah, and
go like brandy.
Okay, like I don't know, not toomuch on brandy.
You know, we don't switch gears,but look, I just tell you, we're

(35:17):
gonna switch gears, but to notewhat Gin said, we appreciate
y'all.
We appreciate y'all.
Y'all support.
Thank y'all for the support.
Thank y'all for supporting us.

SPEAKER_10 (35:27):
Thank y'all again.
Thank y'all again.

SPEAKER_03 (35:28):
Thank y'all.
It's a Saturday afternoon.
Y'all could have been atsomewhere.
E y'all could have beenanywhere, but y'all ain't here,
so we appreciate that.
We thank you.
So I'm gonna go ahead and switchgears.
It's kind of a two question in aone.
Why aren't we getting married?
And why aren't we stayingmarried?

SPEAKER_11 (35:49):
Oh, that's a good start.
I said, Oh, starting theaudience or another.

SPEAKER_03 (35:54):
You wanna start with the audience or the panel?

SPEAKER_11 (35:56):
You wanna start with us?

SPEAKER_03 (35:57):
We're gonna start here with Dante because he keeps
being quiet.
Yeah, Dante, you quiet.
You throw it in.
You are quiet tonight.

SPEAKER_13 (36:06):
I'm the on the panel.
I'm one of the people they allthey text me a thousand times.

SPEAKER_02 (36:12):
I don't ever get we're not about to go deal with
the text, they just not justdon't pick on it's like y'all
pick on me.
Go ahead, Jim.

SPEAKER_03 (36:21):
Make sure you send it back on to her.
Why are we getting married andwhy we not staying married?
Well, we ain't getting marriedbecause how am I gonna get
married if I can't even find aboyfriend?

SPEAKER_12 (36:32):
Oh, we can go back to the root of that.
We can go back to the root ofthat.
Oh, you why y'all ain't findingno boyfriends?

SPEAKER_14 (36:41):
Why I can't find a boyfriend?
Wow, because half of them likemen.

SPEAKER_12 (36:45):
Oh, that's now that's now that's showing your
uh half of them don't know.
Now you got 50%.
She wanna argue.
Wait, wait, no.
Hold on, Dr.
Now now we're about to give hersome real some realistic stuff.

SPEAKER_14 (37:00):
Like, all right, so now that's half for the me and
half of them don't know how toleave.

SPEAKER_11 (37:03):
It can't be half and half, more than like under a
girl.
Yeah, they can control, theydon't want a strong-minded
woman.
They gotta be a smallpercentage.

SPEAKER_03 (37:12):
Now look, yeah, because they can control her.
Now now look, now look.
Now look, I I think a lot ofpeople giving out more.
I mean, what's the reason ofwhat are you holding out that
you need to get married?
It's like we going intorelationships and you giving
somebody all you got in thebeginning, giving them all your
time, all of your energy, all ofyour everything, your life.

SPEAKER_11 (37:37):
Let me let me speak about it, let me speak about it.
I feel like from thatperspective, as me, as a man,
and the dating world that I camefrom, or as in now, I'm the only
one losing in the dating market.
Like we both spending time.

SPEAKER_05 (37:52):
Nigga, no, you're not.

SPEAKER_11 (37:54):
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, let me break it down.
Wait, you break it down, listen,we're gonna break it down for
you.
We're gonna use criticalthinking, right?
And we're gonna bring up a Venndiagram, and you're gonna put up
all the things on your side, allthe things on my side, and
everything in the middle, right?
So we both spending time, sothat goes in the middle.

(38:14):
We both having sex, that goes inthe middle.
So you can't tell me you'regiving me your body.
So what's the case?
No, they go on our side becausewe damn or do most of the work
sometimes.
No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_14 (38:23):
I'll wait for you to make sense.

SPEAKER_11 (38:24):
Listen, if you got your vagina is only like top
tier when a man is broke.

SPEAKER_10 (38:33):
Because when he broke, wait, wait, wait, wait
no, no, no, it's fire.
Don't give me broke, give meout.

SPEAKER_01 (38:51):
Can't drop the gun.
Don't get drop the gun.
Listen.

SPEAKER_03 (39:01):
Sometimes it's great.
Listen, calm down, calm down.

SPEAKER_11 (39:04):
Let me let me let me leave.
Y'all want me in the lead,right?

SPEAKER_12 (39:09):
I'm about to show you.
Don't tell me it's stupid.
It's uh if I leave you to the ifI leave you to the stuff.
Let him explain.
Let him explain.
Yeah, but you ain't got thereright now.

SPEAKER_05 (39:19):
All right, let him leave you.
I want to hear.
I want to hear them.
So listen.
I want to hear them.

SPEAKER_11 (39:24):
Okay, okay, let's hear this.
A man that got a lot of moneydon't got a lot of time, right?
So just because your vagina isfire, that don't mean it's top
tier.
That should is another priority.
That ain't no top priority for aman that's owning.
So your love and your body andall of these things that you
feel like you give to a man.

SPEAKER_10 (39:42):
Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_11 (39:45):
Listen, listen.
Like, look, when I get up in themorning, bro, when I get up in
the morning, the first thing I'mthinking about is getting some
money.
I might get high getting somelistening and all that, but love
is further on the list.
Like, I could go through mylife.

SPEAKER_00 (40:02):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_11 (40:03):
Then what are you looking for?
I'm not saying that I'm beingsingle.
No, no, no, I'm not saying that.
I'm not telling you that I'm notlooking for these things, I'm
just telling you that you'resaying that the love, your body
is something that's not in themiddle of this diagram, right?
Because you said that this isgonna go on your side.

(40:25):
So the reason that I'm fightingis it shouldn't.
I mean, take it both people,both parties giving up their
body.
Yeah, the man is leading withhis finance, right?
Because most times when a man isdoing his leadership roles, he's
taking you out on dates, he'sdoing all the masculine shit.
This shit costs.

SPEAKER_03 (40:40):
I'm supposed to be happy with that.

SPEAKER_11 (40:42):
No, I'm not telling you that.
Okay, but if we're doing it tipfor tat, I agree with you.
I agree with you on thepartnership idealistic.
But when we're looking at thedating thing, man, when you
looking at it, regardless.
So because you spend the money,I'm supposed to feel special.
No, it's sounding like you mightnever get out of here.
Regardless of how y'allindividually feel in the dating
world, this is what we have tofight against.

(41:03):
It's women out here that don'tthink like they all.
Just because y'all got emotionalintelligence in this room, right
here, man.
It's a lot of women out herethat we deal with on a
day-to-day basis that you wouldlook at and not even call their
phone again because the ignorantshit they say out their mouth.
So you can't think thateverybody's blessed with the
intelligence y'all got.
So let me speak for one second.
So the man that's got thispriority of going to get the

(41:24):
money and shit like that, layingup with you, and that shit's
gonna come at the end of theday.
That's just not priority for me.
My priority for me is to be ableto provide and be a man to
fulfill all the deeds that I'msupposed to be able to do so you
can be a woman in your fullentirety.
So if I'm laying up with you allthe time and doing all that
shit, how the hell am I gonna dothat shit?

(41:44):
I don't got no, I don't daytrade.
I go out in the street and makemoney with my hands.
So I have to be active in theworld.
So how can I be active with youas much?
So that ain't a fair exchange.

SPEAKER_14 (41:56):
So basically, you ain't never have no thought in
your head about marriage.

SPEAKER_11 (41:59):
No, it's not that I ain't never had a thought about
my head about marriage.
I don't have a problem withmarriage, but the reason we not
getting married is because a lotof times we're jumping into
situations and neither party isstable, neither party has a
plan, neither party isdisciplined enough to stick to
the plan.
You gotta realize in apartnership, somebody's gonna
work the finance and somebodygonna do the hard work.
So if you're gonna do the hardwork, I mean, if you're gonna do

(42:22):
the finance and I'm gonna go dothe hard work, then I'm gonna
lead on all the aspects I wannalead in, and you're gonna lead
in the backfield.

SPEAKER_14 (42:28):
Okay, so if you get in a you're talking to a female,
then that female tells you I'mdating for marriage.
Okay, what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_11 (42:34):
Right.
That's fine if I'm in that ifI'm in at this point in time
now, that's fine.
Because I'm old enough, I'mmature enough.
But if she would have told methis three or four years, maybe
five or six years ago, no, I wasstill finding myself.
I was still finding financialstability, I was still learning
my reach, you know what I'msaying?
Seeing what I like about myself,like you said, you gotta take

(42:56):
time to learn yourself.
We rushed into life.
I had to get into life at 18,14, taking care of myself.
So, you get what I'm saying?
So, you can't take thatanything.
No, you need to have some waythat your partner can lean on
you for leadership.

SPEAKER_14 (43:10):
You can't depend on money for everything.

SPEAKER_11 (43:11):
No, but you gotta have something, some survival
instinct.

SPEAKER_14 (43:14):
Why even date a woman if you keep saying about
this money?

SPEAKER_11 (43:17):
I ain't say money, she just asked money.
I said, No, but you gotta havesome survival instinct to lead a
family in order to marry to bemarried.
Because how, like, if we was outin the wilderness again, I would
be able to hunt, I would be thewent out and did things with my
hands because I learned as a manversus sitting up in the house
with you, loving you.
I learned how to feed us, Ilearned how to kill, I learned

(43:39):
how to do the things that youdon't have to do, so you can be
a woman.
That's all I'm saying.
Most of us, most of us, most ofus not spending time doing that.
I'm pretty sure I could tell bythe way we dress, we all dressed
in here nice tonight.
We all take good care ofourselves, but I'm pretty sure
all of us got somebody in ourcall log or homeboy that could
be like, damn, bro, you could bedoing more, or you ain't doing
this for your kid, bro.

(43:59):
It's all of these type of thingsthat we not taking the time to
better ourselves as men or asindividual people to come
together to even be a unit.
How can you even be a unit whenyou ain't even what you have for
yourself?

SPEAKER_02 (44:10):
I just feel like it still should be like what he
said in the match, huh?
Like, we need to have standards,it still need to have standards,
you know.
You have to have standards andboundaries.

SPEAKER_03 (44:23):
Yes, I just think first thing you gotta have.
I do think while we oh what yougot something to say?
Oh, you got something to say?

SPEAKER_13 (44:33):
I think I'm no, I just feel like he's saying
everything about the money part.
The money can be here today andgone and gone tomorrow, yeah,
exactly.
But a good parlay lasts forever.

SPEAKER_03 (44:52):
Very tired, but anyway, while we aren't getting
married, I really just feel liketime has changed.
Um wow, not I don't everybody'snot looking for marriage no
more.
There's a lot of why would theylook for marriage though?
That's what I mean.
You're getting everythingwithout the marriage.
No, but we can't get married.

(45:13):
See, and that's that's a bigproblem.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm talking about just that'ssad.
But I'm saying you people thinkso much into getting married.
People don't think so much intohaving a baby that you have to
deal with for 18 years.

SPEAKER_11 (45:27):
I mean, think in society, they don't even they
don't even show us happyfamilies like that, bro.
Like, if you look at TV and shitlike that, like power, all of
these black shows, bro, it'svery rare.
What did I tell you?
A black happy family, like howyou see the Cosby's family
matters, like it's there, butit's buried.
You see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 (45:47):
So it's not there for us.
That's why we're not gettingmarried, it's not set, it's not
taught, it's not but you knowwhat's not what's pushed
anymore.
Back in the day, that's what youwas taught.
You have a baby, you getmarried.
That's what comes along withnow.
It's you can have a baby at thebaby shower alone.
So it's just that's why there'sno morals, there's no

(46:07):
principles.
You know, when we were comingup, you you was taught get
married, then have a baby.
Grandma's that's what I'msaying.
Times have changed, everybody isnot looking for the same thing
anymore.
There's a lot of people who areokay with being single, and
there's more stability in thatthan being in a relationship.
A lot of people look atrelationships, marriages as a
second job now.

(46:28):
They pretend so they just don'twant to, but time has changed
too, though.
A lot of people are morewillingly to look for their
happiness and focus on theirhappiness than somebody else.
You gotta think about it.
That's why I said why we anotherquestion was why aren't we
staying married?
Because a lot of people werestaying married for money for
the kids, and a lot of peopleare not doing that no more.

(46:48):
We're not doing that no more, sothat's why we're not staying
married.
You're unhappy, you're gettingup out of it.
You know what I mean?
We're not staying around for thekids no more.
Time stability, all of that.
Yeah, we're not staying inmarriages just to be staying in
marriages.
Y'all want this cute book andthis beautiful wedding, it's a
lot of work in a marriage.
But we're not fighting foranything anymore, we're giving

(47:10):
up so easily.
We walk in the way so fast, sothat's the reason why people not
stay in marriage.
But that's because they want towork on everything is no, we
look at everything to be perfectwhen nothing is perfect, but
that's why I said you got to dothe work on yourself.
You cannot get into a marriageand you are not okay with you
because y'all ain't gonna donothing but create toxic chaos.
If you not have not done thework on yourself first, before

(47:33):
you get into this relationshipwith this person who has also
done work on themselves first,it's just not gonna work.
You're gonna have toxic,annoying auto practice.
If you do the work on yourself,I've done the work on myself.
I know me and my my like on mymarriage, we are never ever
perfect, right?
But we're doing the work becauselife is, and I encourage people
to get married because to have apartner is so worthwhile.
If it's a partner, not somebodyyou just land with.

(47:55):
You want that partner to fightwith you because like it's hard
as hell.
We need somebody on your side,not you.

SPEAKER_11 (48:05):
That's but that's what I was saying.
Like, we we we're not taking thetime to hold on, sorry, hold on.
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 (48:10):
Somebody got a question.

SPEAKER_00 (48:11):
Okay, they have realized that when you children
are dogs are a little bitconditional, and men are little
better than the conditional.
That's a fact.
That's a fact.
That's a hundred.

SPEAKER_10 (48:24):
That's true.
That's true.

SPEAKER_09 (48:26):
We became uh aware of our son.

SPEAKER_05 (48:39):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (48:41):
Strong arm a hundred emotions.
Strong arm a hundred emotions.
We got another question.
Answer.
Okay.
Oh, come on.

SPEAKER_03 (49:00):
Exactly.
Exactly.

SPEAKER_07 (49:03):
And instead of us up to you, example.
Okay, my fiance hasendometriosis, she got
diagnosed, she's been out ofwork for three months.
She's gonna be out of work forat least four more months.
I'm not thinking, at least, I'mnot thinking how much time am I
gonna give?
I am thinking what I gotta do totake care of it.

(49:36):
That's my own, come on.

SPEAKER_05 (49:47):
Come on.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's exactly and too, yougotta do somebody in life.
Yeah, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 (49:58):
Do the work because marriage is not fun, it's not no
game, it's not something thatyou should ever take lightly.
I feel like do the work onyourself.
Yeah, you know, everybody needsto do the work.
Because if you do the work onyourself, you're gonna know.
You end it sustaining as youknow, you're gonna ain't no shot
clock, time clock.
Ain't gonna be none of that.
So if you do the work before youget into marriage, you'll be
successful.
So no six months, Kira.

(50:21):
There we go.

SPEAKER_02 (50:25):
In a marriage, yes.

SPEAKER_03 (50:27):
We gonna go ahead and switch gears because we
already figured out why people,you know, get up out of these
marriages.

SPEAKER_14 (50:36):
Okay, uh, so y'all know today it's so much men
versus women.
You know, every time you talk toa man or you try to somebody
talk to a man, you be like,Well, he ain't got enough money.
And he'd be like, Well, youalways want something.
You know, we want we want somecash, y'all want some ass.
You know, it's like it's alwayssomething.

(50:58):
I want to know why are weagainst each other?

SPEAKER_11 (51:01):
Y'all say we money hungry because I think the the
world done became so fucked upand people be so in need, like
this.
These type of things have beenalways around, though.
You know what I'm saying?
They was just taboo.

SPEAKER_14 (51:12):
You said what?

SPEAKER_11 (51:13):
Like these type of things always been around, like
cash.

SPEAKER_14 (51:16):
Oh, it's really bad now.

SPEAKER_11 (51:17):
Like, yeah, I know, but they be they became
acceptive of it.
Like it used to be shunned to bea hoe.
Now they got whole walks.
Come on, see what I'm saying?
You ain't laughing.
It used to be like for real,like this shit used to be
shunned.
You you man, they don't youdon't want to be no floozy, you
don't want to be no Jezebel, youall of these things.
Now you cry for learning.

(51:39):
Now, when your homegirl talks toyou, she addressed you like
this.
So, when people talk to you likethis, how could you expect any
different?
Like, you want people not evenholding you to the respect.
I mean, you're not even holdingyourself to the respect of what
you want to be garnered towardsyou.
You see what I'm saying?
So, these things it's hard toeven the society norm just
changed all of this, that'schanged all the standards.

(52:01):
Like back in the day, like atlike 12 o'clock or one o'clock,
the TV used to make static, andyou don't know what the fuck is
going on.
I remember, I remember HBO usedto have little fuzzy channels
and shit when I was a littlekid.
You know what I'm saying?
It ain't that no more.
Now you go straight to HBO, yourkid go straight to it go
straight to their phone.
You see what I'm saying?
Like it's act the access tothese things just became so

(52:25):
accessible that it changedsociety.
That's what I think.

SPEAKER_05 (52:27):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (52:29):
I don't know, Pierre.
I think it's very weird that Ithink it's very weird that it's
the even a man versus womanerror, you know.

SPEAKER_14 (52:35):
Then we all supposed to need each other, we was made
for each other, so I know, but Idon't know about they don't like
us for me, they just I don'tknow social media, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (52:45):
That's what see like it's weird.

SPEAKER_09 (52:46):
Social media changed a lot, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (52:49):
Social media changed they propagate negative stuff,
so like you never see when theman taking a girl out or taking
a son out.
You only see when we talking andbashing each other because this
is stuff that's going viral, youknow what I'm saying?
Like stuff not, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (53:04):
But then it made it women are speaking up for
ourselves.
We speaking up you heard what Ijust told you.
Yeah, uh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (53:11):
Women are not slow anymore.
Okay, we're not slow anymore.
Yeah, back in the day, it was alot of slow women.
I'm just saying, we we not thatanymore.

SPEAKER_14 (53:21):
We definitely go speak up now, you know.
We ain't letting men have sixwives and well.

SPEAKER_13 (53:27):
No, listen, we don't have the date no more because
you got this, you gotta take herout a thousand times.
This lady got it right here for40.
What you gonna do?
Financial, you ain't gonna doyou ain't gotta do no workable.
No workable.

SPEAKER_02 (53:44):
Thousand days are you thinking?

SPEAKER_13 (53:45):
Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01 (53:48):
Thousand days, thousand dates, one day.

SPEAKER_03 (53:56):
It's the reason behind that, dog.
You good what you pay for.
You good that's my custom.
That's my custom.

SPEAKER_13 (54:09):
No, it won't.

SPEAKER_10 (54:10):
You know, you know, the guys like the 40 bar.
You get what you pay for.
That is true.

SPEAKER_03 (54:15):
Come on.
You get what you pay for.
A$40 woman and a thousand dollarwoman is two different types of
different types of things.
So it depends on what you'relooking for.

SPEAKER_12 (54:28):
Good time.

SPEAKER_03 (54:29):
Oh, well, then you got a$40 home.
Now look.
I mean, hey.

SPEAKER_12 (54:34):
Now you still got to say, but what do you what do
y'all think, audience?

SPEAKER_14 (54:38):
What why do y'all think the man's is I think you
why are we looking for a goodtime?
She asked.
Man, like what?
Man, like man, I swear, I thinkthat's the only thing I that's
that's that's my answer toeverything.

SPEAKER_03 (54:52):
I don't even think it's that they don't like us.
They don't like us.
They do not like us.
Like women.
Why y'all think of that?
I think we say we we put thingsin our head that men don't put
in their head.
That's just like if we get readyto go to the club.
Women go to the club looking fortheir husband.

(55:13):
A man goes to the club lookingfor a home.
It's two different things.
We go to the club thinking thatwe're gonna find somebody to
answer all of our prayers.
They go to the club looking forsomebody that just take home
tonight.

SPEAKER_05 (55:27):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (55:28):
You might be the one, but you gotta get to know
that person to even figure thatout.
So it's like, what are youlooking for when you go out
dating?
You gotta know what you want,but you don't gotta figure it
out if it's$40 involved.
Everything is about money,that's what's wrong with the
world now.

SPEAKER_12 (55:48):
Money, money, that I told you the world's so fucked
up.

SPEAKER_03 (55:55):
Yeah, and feel the time.

SPEAKER_13 (56:01):
It depends on what time it is.

SPEAKER_03 (56:05):
Hello, we're not lying, and that's what women
don't realize.
Yeah, we looking for somethingthat they not looking for.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (56:14):
See, and look, this is something this is something
that I said.
Love is farther down on ourlist.
I told you.

SPEAKER_03 (56:20):
I don't think no man will.
Hold on, hold on, hold on,tonight.

SPEAKER_11 (56:24):
Let me get her.

SPEAKER_13 (56:25):
Let me get her.

SPEAKER_01 (56:26):
What you say?

unknown (56:30):
Oh.

SPEAKER_01 (56:31):
I might.
She's gonna stay with you anddefend it.
It depends on how good you are.
And I might.

SPEAKER_02 (56:42):
At all.
Come on.
At all.
And my auntie said that.
And they won't be.

SPEAKER_05 (56:49):
You're gonna leave us out of the way.

SPEAKER_13 (56:51):
I'm gonna dress you hold on.

SPEAKER_01 (56:54):
I'm coming for you.
You think you can needsomething?
I'm coming for you.
Now we gotta say something.

SPEAKER_13 (57:02):
Tell me.
Uh-huh.

unknown (57:05):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (57:13):
Everything that happens does not happen by that.

SPEAKER_07 (57:20):
She is not making materials.

SPEAKER_13 (57:24):
Let me tell you something.
Is you ready?
That's your husband next to you.

SPEAKER_01 (57:40):
Listen.

SPEAKER_13 (57:41):
Listen.
The panel wanna give me, nowy'all want to give me.

SPEAKER_03 (57:48):
All right, we're gonna we're gonna switch this
over to Dante.

SPEAKER_13 (57:51):
Oh, it's on me.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (57:54):
Let's see if you remember his.

SPEAKER_13 (57:56):
My question was what are some things we need to work
on within ourselves?

SPEAKER_05 (58:01):
Okay.
He didn't remember.

SPEAKER_13 (58:05):
Yeah, you.

SPEAKER_05 (58:06):
I want you to go.

SPEAKER_13 (58:11):
What are some things we need to work on within
ourselves?
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (58:24):
But you know what you said.

SPEAKER_13 (58:37):
But you know who we'll love me more?
Woo! Talk to me.
And I'ma have fifty next time.

SPEAKER_05 (59:00):
Okay, preach.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (59:02):
Yeah, a good time.
A good time.

SPEAKER_14 (59:06):
But um I'ma I'ma say we're gonna go down the line.
I'ma say healing.
Healing.
A lot of people are afraid toheal, which means being by
yourself.
Don't nobody want to heal.
You know why?
It hurts.
It hurts.

(59:26):
That loneliness, it scares you.
Them thoughts in your head, youdon't want all that toxic, so
heal.

SPEAKER_03 (59:35):
Okay, okay.
Something we need to work onwithin ourselves, I would say,
is learning to let go.
Yes, it's a part of the journey,you know.
We may have to release a friendor two, a partner, a kid.
There's some people who have torelease their kids, you know,
um, a job.
So learn, yes, and it's hard,but you have to learn to be okay

(59:58):
with it.
So learning to Let go becauseI'm the string of holding on to
all of them.
Yes.
Learn to let go.
Jen, I thought I already saidthat.
She took your answer.
She took your answer.

SPEAKER_13 (01:00:14):
Took your answer.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:15):
No, I no, I did.
I said forgive.
Oh, she's like, Oh, you forgive.
Yes.
It's a big one for me.
I am I'm a grudge holder.
I'm working on that.
It's bad, it's very bad, but Ifeel like you know, sometimes
you give so much of yourself topeople and you expect so much in

(01:00:37):
return.
So it's like learning how to notexpect myself from other people.
It's what teaching me toforgive.

SPEAKER_14 (01:00:45):
And don't stop being, don't stop doing what
you're doing.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:48):
Yeah, it keeps you hurt though.
Like expecting you from peopleand never receiving that.
It keeps you in a bad taste.
So to me, for myself, it's likeI have to learn that I'm gonna
be me and they're gonna be them.
And I gotta accept people forwho they are, yeah, and forgive
them and move on.
And sometimes learning, that'sall some people that's all they

(01:01:09):
can give in that moment.
I'm learning that that theydon't have anything to give you.
So it's like we don't know whennobody's at in that space.
Giving people grace.
Let's just learn that forgive.
Go ahead.
My sorry, Miss King.
I'm learning to forgive.

SPEAKER_14 (01:01:25):
Forgive too.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:26):
I'm learning to forgive.
That's been something I've beenworking on for a while now, but
really in this last year aftermy divorce is been hard because
I lost friends, I lost, yeah, Ilost a lot of people, even a

(01:01:47):
parent.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:49):
So forgiveness is something that I've really been
working on, and how I've beenworking through that is being in
my word.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:59):
Um, that's the only thing, and the only person that
can show me how to forgive is myLord and Savior.
And and that's just giving themgrace, you know.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:13):
On top of it, I'm I've been noticed, like even
like we're learning withforgiveness is that you do have
to give people grace becausenobody is perfect.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:23):
We all don't get it right, we all don't get it
right.
So forgiveness is for me.

SPEAKER_11 (01:02:28):
I be like, I can relate to all of these topics
that uh everybody just spoke on.
I done had to work on every oneof these individually.
I done lost parents in the lastthree years, I done had to go
through loss of jobs,expectations.
You got false expectations ofpeople.
I learned that uh you don't putyour faith in men, you put your

(01:02:51):
faith in God.
I stopped praying, all of that.
Man, I done been through everyobstacle that you could think
of.
Tried to go through it and justthug it out and be strong about
it till it broke me down, youknow what I'm saying?
That's why I'm telling you,like, men don't have avenues or
venues where they can speakabout things like this.
You don't know the day-to-daystruggle that your man goes

(01:03:12):
through just because he's in thesame 24 hours as you.
You know what I'm saying?
It's his job to hold it in.
You don't, you probably notgonna see him cry, you're not
gonna see him pray.
But no, he need it.
You know what I'm saying?
So I would say the thing that Ihad to work on the most in that
time was learning how to be bymyself, how to enjoy the time

(01:03:33):
that you spend with yourself.
Like, you sometimes you don'teven know what you actually like
because you're gonna spend somuch time around other people
and your and their habits.
Like somebody told me one day,like, uh man, you need to go
down to the water and just gosit down.
I'm like, why the hell would Igo do that and think about what
all the bad shit that's beengoing on?
Like, shit, let's keep this shitmoving.

(01:03:54):
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, man, and that's just thetype of person I am.
But when they told me that, Ididn't do that, you know what
I'm saying?
I found other outlets, but itshowed me that you do have to
take some time for yourself.
You give, like we all say, yougive so much to the world, you
give a lot to your job, you giveeverything to your kids, you

(01:04:16):
give everything to your mate.
But if you go back to the end ofthe day and you go back to the
drawing board and you look atall the you got 100% of energy.
If you look at the drawing boardand you gave out 90, 100% of
that energy, and you come backand none of that was making you
happy, then you failed.
Because how can you giveeverything to the world but
never pour into yourself?

(01:04:36):
So you gotta take time, yougotta take time to lose.

SPEAKER_03 (01:04:39):
Come on, come on.
That's a word.
All right, well, now that we'regetting ready to close, I
really, really, really justdon't say I am uh just in a
little bit of close.
I am very proud of myself forfollowing through creating
session 35.

(01:04:59):
Well, I just want to thank Kiraand Jen.
Y'all been on this roll with mefrom the very start.
I appreciate y'all.
I love y'all.
So, so so much.
So, so so much.
And then I want to thank Dante,Hila, and Brandon for hopping on
this journey.
They believed in whatever I wastalking about, so they was ready

(01:05:20):
with me.
I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:22):
Always believe in you, girl.
Y'all appreciate y'all gotsomething to say, T T.

SPEAKER_14 (01:05:29):
Y'all got something to say.

SPEAKER_13 (01:05:32):
Do I got anything to say?

SPEAKER_14 (01:05:34):
I just want to thank y'all.
Sorry, you weren't ready.
I just I just want to thank you,Crystal, for having us on this
journey.
You know, this was a longjourney.
We started in the kitchen,y'all.
So I'm gonna give y'all flowers.
These are my girls.
Um we started this journey inthe kitchen with us some food.

(01:06:00):
Crystal, she can cook, y'all.
She ain't cooked here.
We just want to thank you forputting she can cook, y'all.
Trying her chicken spinach dip,she can, but we just want to
thank you.
We love you so much.
She be trying to do everythingby herself by herself, and we

(01:06:21):
hate it, but we just thank youfor this journey.

unknown (01:06:24):
Thank y'all.

SPEAKER_11 (01:06:25):
Oh, Crystal, thank you.
We appreciate you.

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:32):
All right, so uh yeah, y'all.
Thank y'all for watching.
Oh, you got something.

SPEAKER_13 (01:06:37):
Yeah, I just want to say thanks, Crystal, for giving
me the opportunity to take thisjourney with you.
I mean, I know I don't get textmessages, but yes, it's like
they have text a thousand times.
I don't get it.
Then when that one text message,when that sir comes across the
screen, I gotta be like, damn,here she goes.
So I gotta get I just want tosay I'm I'm glad to be a part of

(01:06:59):
what's going on.
All right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:05):
Okay, I just want to say thanks for thinking of me,
girl.
I always, always, always, alwaysbelieved in you from the first
day I met you.
Like, like just everything.
When she first told me, girl, Igot a women's empowerment thing.
I want you to do like youremember that I want you to come

(01:07:26):
on with me.
I said whatever you need there,like always been down with her.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:32):
I love you.
Thank you for thinking of me,and I'm happy to be a part.

SPEAKER_11 (01:07:40):
I want to say thank you to everybody who part of the
podcast.
I'm glad to be a part of a panelof talented, well-educated
people that I've grown up with,grown to know y'all some
beautiful ladies that's doingbeautiful things in the world.
Y'all speak life into people.

(01:08:02):
Like, you know what I'm saying?
There's people out here that'slistening to everything that we
say and the energy that y'allbring to the podcast every
night, every time that wepodcast Wednesday.
I love that.
Crystal, I appreciate youbringing me on.
I started off as a guestappearance, you know what I'm
saying?
But I knew that your energy,your heart was in the right

(01:08:24):
place.
The words you speak, I thinkthat you believe them, so it
made me believe.
It's been time I done lostfaith, like you know what I'm
saying.
But I stuck and thugged it outwith you just because I believe,
and I just wanted to thankeverybody for um letting me be a
part of the podcast.

SPEAKER_13 (01:08:42):
Amen.
And look, and then another thingI always wanted to do, like
y'all know when somebody speaks,and then you hear that one clap
all the way in the back.
Like, I always wanted that.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:54):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_13 (01:08:58):
No, you gotta go slow.
We thought it's slow, I'm gonnamove.
Yeah, and then everybody elsestart.
That's what I always wanted.
Yeah, I wanted to.

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:08):
Well, thank y'all for being here with us tonight.
One of many, many more.
When we get ready to put ittogether, I expect for all of
y'all to be here again, frontand center.
We're giving y'all free VIP nexttime.
Yeah, that don't mean no how topay a ticket, it just means that
it's gonna be a front.
But I appreciate y'all, lovey'all.
And if y'all have not alreadytaken all those banana puddings,
strawberry, shortcase, andcaramel apple pies and puddies,

(01:09:30):
please take them.
You don't even have to pay thefull price, give a half, give a
dollar, what you gonna give?
But I can't take that stuff off.
So and please make sure y'allfollow us on all platforms on
Wednesday.

SPEAKER_14 (01:09:39):
Oh, yeah, shout out to social media.

SPEAKER_13 (01:09:41):
I'm gonna do you and you.

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:44):
Have a good night, y'all.