Settling Is Bullshit

If you struggle with a mean inner critic, then this episode is for you, buddy. Unfortunately, it won’t offer a magic solution or quick fix to ridding yourself of that inner voice, but it will help explain what the fuck is going on and offer a pathway to a life filled with greater self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-care.

In this conversation with art therapist and marriage and family therapist Celine Redfield (they/them), we ...

If we don’t have clarity about what's most important to us, about the principles we try to live our lives by, it’s no wonder that we end up wandering around feeling a bit aimless. It’s also no wonder that we get into the same arguments over and over again. Values are at the root of most conflict, we just don’t tend to see it that way.

In this blog episode, I cover some ways to clarify your values and offer some perspective on how to...

While it’s tremendously important for each of us to have support when things are rough, we also need support when things are awesome. And sometimes, it helps to have a model to follow!

Active constructive responding (ACR) is a framework for how we can actively communicate encouragement and support. It’s a useful tool/concept to help all of us show up as better friends, lovers, and general cheerleaders. It provides a clear pathway fo...

Do you gravitate toward certain colors in your life? Do you find yourself looking at the world through rose colored glasses (either literally or figuratively)? Well, it turns out that we’re all in relationship to the world of color, whether we’ve got a picture of our aura or not.

In this delightful conversation with aura photographer Selena Bakakis, she walks us through the rainbow – and what the colors in our field can reveal about...

No matter how much we cognitively “know” about how trauma works, none of us are immune from the grip it can have on our capacity to deal with life. Thankfully, there are ways out, and writing is one of them.

Dr. Stacey Hettes knows this firsthand. In spite of her PhD in neuroscience and decades of teaching it to undergraduate students, a tense campus event in 2019 triggered a debilitating post-traumatic stress response tracing all t...

Consider this your “In Case of Emergency” episode, my dear. It’s ready for you the next time you’re in an anxiety spiral, a weepy meltdown, or any other overwhelming set of feelings that you might call a freak out.

If you can’t (or don’t want to) call somebody, you can press play and listen to me remind you that you’re going to be okay, and it’s totally normal to freak out sometimes.

We’ll take some deep breaths together, we’ll co-re...

How often are you getting to do the things that you are already good at? Do you wake up each day knowing that you’re going to get to show up in the world in the ways that you naturally shine? If not, then it’s time to change that, darlin.

In this conversation with strengths coach Lee Peterson, we talk about how important it is to our wellbeing for us to lean into doing the things we’re naturally good at – instead of being in a never...

We all know that sleep is good for us, but it turns out that play is super good for us, too! Both are vital for healthy brain functioning – though, obviously, sleep is most important in that category. But we need both rest and play in order to live vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful lives.

And we don’t have to earn them!! Rest and play are our birthrights. We are allowed to both rest AND play regardless of how “productive” we have or ha...

We usually don't like to look at it this way, but the truth is that we’re all just making things up as we go along. Life isn’t scripted. And embracing the improv comedy concept of “yes, and” can help us move through the world with greater flexibility, less self-criticism, and an increased capacity to be truly present.

This episode is all about helping us learn to tolerate ambiguity, let go of perfectionism, and live from a place of ...

Here is my spontaneous love note to anyone struggling with self-doubt, self-criticism, or the shitty fucking stories that like to get their grips on us. In particular, this is for my NeuroSpicy folks, my friends in recovery, and anyone who just feels like it's impossible to fit into the box of what "normal" is supposed to look like.

Here's your pep talk, here's your empathy, here's your reminder that the voice that's telling you you...

It’s that time again – Mercury is going retrograde and things are going to get wacky. But if you want to have a better sense of what that actually means and how it might impact your life in particular, we are here for you!

In this conversation with astrologer and energy worker Fi Russell, they walk me through what the heck Mercury retrograde means, why the sign it’s going retrograde through matters, and how to look at the implicatio...

The world is bananas right now. A lot of us are angry, afraid, and struggling to stay out of the pit of despair. And that makes sense! It’s totally understandable. AND… my offering to you in this episode is the idea that centering ourselves in joy is what will fuel our ability to keep showing up.

Joy isn’t the byproduct of things being amazing, it’s the lighter fluid for keeping ourselves alight.

If we don’t center our joy, we will ...

Why do we do the things we do? And, more importantly, why do we keep doing them? Taking the time to reflect – to slow down, look back, and ask ourselves whether the path we’ve been on is the one we want to stay on – helps us be the person we want to be.

In this conversation with Dr. John Miles, a writing professor and academic assessment specialist (and my former boss), we talk about the importance of reflective practices to help us...

What would it be like to live in a world filled with unconditional love? A world where we fully trusted in ourselves, where we felt utterly supported in showing up for the lessons the universe has laid out for us? It’s aspirational, for sure. But maybe it’s not quite so out of reach as we often feel.

In this soul-nourishing conversation with spiritual counselor Julie Day, we talk about how to put that kind of spiritual conviction an...

Especially in the midst of chaos, grief, and what very much seems like the apocalypse, what there is to do is show up for each other – in whatever ways we can. The trick, of course, is in recognizing our own capacities and only offering what we actually have to give. Which may not be a lot right now, and that’s okay.

But participating in relationships with people we care about means leaning on each other. It means having the willing...

Spirituality, presence, mindfulness, enlightenment… whatever you want to call it, we don’t just get there through thinking about it all the time. Or even through not thinking about it, if we’re trying the meditation route. Instead, connecting with our sense of being in the world (joyful or uncomfortable as that may be in any given moment) comes through both our thoughts and our bodily experiences. Mind and body aren’t actually sepa...

Are you on the struggle bus, my friend? If so, you are not alone – even if it super duper feels like it a lot of the time. And, as much as it sucks, the struggle is just a normal part of being human. What there is to do is persist and remember to connect when you can.

This episode isn't here to cheer you up or drown you in my usual ebullient positivity. Instead, I'm just offering empathy, witnessing, and some virtual companionship i...

What if your intuition could be your secret weapon for changing the world? Seriously! What would shift if you thought about listening to your inner wisdom as a downright revolutionary act on both the personal and collective stage?

In this lovely conversation with depth coach Andrea Leda, we unpack the magic and power of feminine intuition as a tool for breaking free from societal expectations and living authentically. And, ya know, ...

It's a new year, same you, my love! Except not the same. Because SOMETHING has changed since the last new year. And this little hybrid episode is a pep-talk for setting an intention for who you want to be in 2025 rather than getting lost in the details of all the goals you want to accomplish. (Though we do still love our goals. Gold stars all year!)

In this episode, I read and reflect on the post I wrote for New Year's 2023: "Forget...