January 10, 2024 • 30 mins
As we hit the pause button on Sex Ed Debunked, a wave of nostalgia washes over us—Shannon's about to tie the knot, and Christine is diving headfirst into academia. It's been an epic journey of myth-shattering and sexual empowerment, from an AASECT award to a whopping 20,000 downloads, and we couldn't be more grateful. Celebrate with us one last time before our sabbatical as we crush the myth of "normal" sexuality and champion the spectrum of positive sexual experiences. It's not a farewell, but a promise to return with even more eye-opening conversations.
Throughout our series, we've ignited discussions on everything from sexual response to polyamory, sparking shifts in societal norms and challenging stereotypes. Dorothy Colvon and Dr. Cailey graced us with their insights, reminding us of the power in conversations that push boundaries and redefine expectations. We've become a springboard for dialogue that doesn't shy away from any topic—because when it comes to sexuality, every voice matters. As we step back to celebrate personal milestones, carry forward the spirit of our discussions and keep the dialogue alive in your own circles.
We owe a universe of thanks to our extraordinary volunteers—Meghan, Bella, Shaina, and Ezra—whose contributions have been critical to our success. Their dedication and the enlightening energy of our guests have allowed us to foster an inclusive approach to sex education that honors the evolving nature of sexuality and gender identities. So, while we take a break to recharge and focus on personal endeavors, remember that the journey of discovery and growth continues. Keep exploring, challenging norms, and breaking down barriers. We'll be back before you know it, ready to debunk more myths and share more wisdom. Keep the spirit of 'Sex Ed Debunked' thriving!
Follow us on social @sexeddebunked or send us a message at sexeddebunked@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, this is Sex.
Ed Debunked across-generational podcast
hosted by mother daughter duo,christine and Shannon Curley.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Every episode we tackle a new myth about sex,
sexuality and pleasure, and useresearch and expert insights to
debunk stereotypes andmisinformation from the bedroom
and beyond.
In 2022,.
We won the American Associationof Sexuality Educators,
Counselors and Therapists Awardfor Best Podcast and also
managed to not totally freak outour family and friends along
the way.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
We believe in healthy sex-positive, pleasure-focused
sex education backed by realresearch and real experience.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter
at Sex Ed Debunked or email usat SexEdDeBunked at gmailcom to
share your sex miseducationtales and the myths you'd like
to hear us debunk.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Hi, this is Sex Ed Debunked a cross-generational
podcast about sex education,sexual health and how we're
pretty sure Netflix stole ouridea about this podcast for the
final season of sex education.
What Pretty sure I mean noshade, it's fine Imitation is
the sincerest form of flattery,but also, if that's the case,
then I'm extremely flattered bythe last season of sex education
(01:06):
.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Oh, that's awesome.
Well, I have been saving thatwhole season for when I have
time, aka like now, becausenormally I use Netflix to go to
sleep at night and I don't wantto fall asleep over one of the
best shows ever produced ontelevision that gives good
education about sex education.
So thanks for the heads up,shannon.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, just don't be surprised if you think, hmm,
haven't I seen this podcast?
Have you seen this somewhere?
Because you have, and it's thispodcast.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Go on.
Maybe somebody's been listeningand we don't even know.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
No, I think we might be flattering ourselves here,
but it is interesting howsimilar it is.
But on this week's episode,actually, after nearly two and a
half years of Sex Ed Debunked,which is insane two and a half
years, I mean time hasdisappeared anyway in the last
few years.
None of us know what time it isanyway, but two and a half
years in of Sex Ed Debunked andover 20,000 downloads which is
(01:58):
crazy.
Thank you to our listeners.
We have decided to take asabbatical from Sex Ed Debunked
for a variety of reasons, but weknow we haven't been posting as
regularly as usual and it'sbecause we've been talking a lot
amongst each other and we'vebeen talking with the Trailblaze
team and we think that taking abreak to focus on some of our
other priorities right now isthe best thing for this show and
(02:20):
in the meantime we're hopingthat folks will continue to tune
in and continue to learn fromthe podcast while we focus on
those things.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
And we just want to stress that the things we're
taking a sabbatical for are good, excellent, wonderful things.
So, yes, don't take a pause,and Shan has one amazing thing
that we'll be planning for.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yes, I'm going to be spending the next six months
planning for a wedding.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
She said yes.
She said yes.
She said yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
So over two and a half years of Sex Ed Debunked,
with you guys hearing some of mypersonal stories and woe and
covering some episodes likecoming out and navigating
sexuality and navigating youridentity and I can be getting
heartbreak and communicationstyles and all these things.
I am now happily engaged to thelove of my life, so I will be
(03:08):
spending some time focusing onthat.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And we love Amanda too.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah, she's the best.
But also, christine, on yourside of things, is also going to
be focusing, now that you havesuccessfully defended your PhD
and been teaching at WesleyanUniversity, just continuing to
get engrossed in that educationpath and that academic path and
focusing on that.
But what we do want to, ofcourse, emphasize is that we're
calling this a sabbatical for areason.
We hope that we will be comingback, and when we do so, we will
(03:38):
do that with a whole new listof myths and a whole new list of
topics to cover, because weknow there's always going to be
more to debunk, and we've lovedevery minute of this show.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Always more to debunk and also we want to be able to
come back and be able to do evenmore for you and our listeners.
We want to think about aYouTube channel and TikToks and
things like that that we canreach even more people debunking
these myths that are really,really important to debunk.
But it goes without saying,we've absolutely loved every
(04:08):
minute of producing this podcastfor our listeners and are
astonished every day about thepeople that we've met and the
people who've said oh, Irecognize your voice, I think I
listened to your podcast.
How amazing is that?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah, it's been a fun little journey of becoming
weird little mini celebrities,mostly in Rhode Island.
But beyond two, we've had somefunny run-ins where people know
who we are and it's hard toimagine that two and a half
years ago we were sitting on abeach musing about oh, this
might be something we couldmaybe do.
We'll see how it goes.
And two and a half years laterwe have almost 100 episodes and
(04:42):
28,000 plus downloads, which isjust incredible.
And we do.
We want to continue to delivervalue to our audience and
continue to have thoseconversations.
So this is not a goodbye, it'sjust a see you later, until we
are set up to continue havingmore of those discussions.
But before we go, we wouldnever leave you without one last
(05:04):
myth before we take thisprobably six monthish break, but
we'll keep you posted on socialmedia.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
But we do have one last myth that we wanted to
debunk, and that is the myththat there is any normal way to
experience big air quotes as wedo normal way to experience sex
and sexuality which is arguablythe umbrella myth of all the
myths that we've talked about,and because if there's any
impact that we want this show tohave, is to hope that it's
(05:30):
opening your eyes to thepossibilities of sexuality and
positive sexuality and how itcan be such a healthy component
of your life.
So, with that.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
come on, dr Curley, let's jump into some research.
I felt good.
I like the sound of that it'sabout time, right.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
But in fairness, I think part of what we're going
to do today is revisit and kindof reframe all of the research
that we've talked about in thelast two and a half years.
I was reflecting on this theother day and I went to a
conference the end of Novemberthe sexuality conference and a
researcher, a fellow researcher,brought to my attention this
book called Not Always in theMood, and it talked about the
(06:13):
social norms around men andmasculinity.
Then I have like, as I said, Ihave amazing students at
Wesleyan.
The papers they wrote weredebunking social norms, social
myths.
But what, to bring it back to?
The most basic thing is our job, our task on this podcast and
our task in our lives is tobreak down the social norms and
(06:35):
allow ourselves to expand intosomething much greater.
And what I was thinking about,shannon, was you know, this
journey isn't that differentfrom the word self-care.
Now, your generation is prettyfamiliar with that right Right.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
And we even had a myth that we debunked about
self-care always being a goodthing and when self-care can
sometimes lead to self-sabotage.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
But my generation.
That wasn't anything that wetalked about.
We talked about workingourselves to the bone,
especially as women.
We were talking about all theroles we had, and self-care was
a generational process oflearning and now it's part of
our cultural vernacular right.
Taking time out for yourself,taking time for your wellness,
(07:21):
taking space Productivity is theonly thing that doesn't matter,
that matters.
All of these things are nowsomething most of us understand.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, and you know, when we go back and we talk
about, you know, the idea ofself-care and wellness, you know
that's kind of where yourresearch interest started was
the idea that wellness doesn'texclude sexual wellness and
sexual well-being, and so thatis the kind of perfect umbrella
topic to come back to two and ahalf years later.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Well, and I think what I want to, the last kind of
words before we go on thesabbatical that I want to talk
to you with everyone is the ideais we have accepted self-care.
Now it's time for us to embracethe concept of sexual self-care
, that thinking about oursexuality and really learning
about it, embracing it,accepting it, is just as valid
(08:15):
as the self-care revolution.
We should be having a sexualself-care revolution, but what
was required for that isunderstanding that we are not
held to the social norms thatwe've been raised with.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Exactly, and that's where this myth for today comes
from the idea that there is noquote, unquote, normal version
of sexual sexuality.
And again, we've had so manyepisodes with so many amazing
guests.
But even most recently we hadthe guests Jeremiah and Julia on
from Sex Vangelicals talkingabout having to break and how
difficult it was to break out ofthe norms that they were raised
with within the church and ofcourse the church can be a more
(08:48):
extreme example of the norms arelaid out right there in front
of you.
But even to your point, mom,the way you're raised and what
you are raised to think is rightwithin your family, within your
friends.
There is always opportunity inroom to revisit that, but you
have to allow yourselfpermission to revisit if it's
not serving your wellness.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You're exactly right, and what I wanted to highlight
is a couple of social norms thatmaybe we didn't really discuss
that much, and I found it reallyinteresting because a lot of
these were raised by my students, which is telling me that these
are still norms, right, becausethese are college students who
still understand that they areliving in this cultural quagmire
and in order to get out of it,we have to talk about it more.
(09:29):
So we've talked on this podcastabout the idea of gender
diversity.
There's not a normal gender,right, there's a diversity in a
spectrum.
There's orientation being on aspectrum, nothing normal.
How about the idea how societytreats masculine norms around
(09:50):
virginity?
And think about, for women,it's a gift, right, you hold
onto it.
You have a taken from you, youlose it.
For men, being a virgin islaughed at.
Think about every media movieand Shannon, I know you know all
our media references becauseyou're the media person Every
(10:10):
movie that portrays malevirginity Well, who are they?
Who are those men?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, there was the nerds, the nerds, the dorks, the
.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I'm just trying to get laid before I go to college
crowd or the 40-year-old virgin,and so there's a norm.
We haven't talked about that.
I want to say to all of ourlisteners, like there's no
normal time to have your firstsexual experience, there's no
normal time to have your firstgirlfriend, there's no or
boyfriend or partner.
That sexuality is somethinglike every other aspect of our
(10:43):
sexual identity that we shouldbe free to explore in our own
place.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
There's no normal and there's no fixed.
You can continue to explore andyou should continue to explore,
because exploration is part ofgrowth.
And it's interesting when wetalk about self-care, because we
do, of course, talk aboutgenerational differences a lot
on this podcast and, on the onehand, mom, your generation never
talked about self-care.
On the other hand, mygeneration maybe talks too much
(11:09):
about it, or talks too muchabout self-care in isolation
from other types of care, andwe've talked a few times about
studies and research that havesaid that the younger
generations aren't dating asmuch.
They're having sex later, andthere's so many things about
that where we've talked aboutokay, but connection is still
important.
And if your version ofself-care is that you're
(11:30):
shutting down because you don'twant to run the risk of being
hurt or whatever, you're kind ofshooting yourself on the foot
there too, and so what we wantto encourage people to do is
tread lightly, but still tread.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Well, and also, let's start talking everybody.
Hopefully, I know from talkingto my friends and colleagues and
people who have listened to thepodcast that what we've done in
this podcast is startconversations and, even though
we're going on sabbatical, keephaving those conversations, keep
talking about things andpushing those edges and pushing
those boundaries.
(12:01):
You know the social norm of thesexual response.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
You know we're talking about this myth of
normalcy, but you're absolutelyright that the conversations are
part of what necessarily blursthe lines of what normal is,
what necessarily expands thedefinition of quote unquote
normal.
And I think if I had to pickone thing that I'm most proud
about with this podcast, it'sthe conversations I've had with
people outside of the podcastabout things that they've
(12:29):
learned or takeaways they have.
Like, yesterday I was withsomeone, I was with a colleague
of mine, who's, you know, Ireport to them, and on his way
home from us meeting to grab adrink, he listened to the
episode about attachment stylesand when he got home he texted
me and he said, wow, that wasfascinating, I learned so much.
I never thought about thatbefore.
And you know, I remember, youknow, maybe six months ago we
(12:51):
had the episode about asexuality, which is a topic that isn't
discussed very often, and Iremember a friend of mine
reaching out and saying I thinkthat might be me, and it's like
huh, you know, and it's justgiving those voices and, to your
point, we might not be puttingout new episodes every single
week, but we have enoughmaterial out there that you have
(13:13):
the ability to have thoseconversations and I know, mom,
you've had experiences too withyou know saying to people here
listen to this episode, it mighthelp you.
And here we did these fourepisodes about X, y and Z, about
gender, about polyamory, aboutwhat to do when your kid comes
out, whatever it is.
You know, we are so proud, andI'm so proud, to have become a
resource that people can turn to, to have those conversations
(13:35):
and to expand the boundaries ofwhat quote, unquote, normal
might mean Exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
And you know, shannon , I'm really proud that we've
done this together because Ithink one of the things that I
hear from you know people ofmore of my generation or between
our generations is, wow, you dothis with your daughter, you
know, and I'm pretty quick tosay, well, I wasn't quite this
open when you were a teenager,but I'm still really grateful
and I think that doing thistogether has opened a lot of
(14:04):
parents' eyes and older folks'eyes to the possibilities that
they can have these discussionswith their preteens, their teens
, their college-age students,and it has also.
I've also had students say Iwant my mom to listen to this
podcast.
I believe my mom the podcast,and that sparks discussion and
(14:26):
fundamentally, the only way thatsocial norms are going to be
pushed into something that'sbroader and more expansive is if
we keep talking.
Absolutely All of us, even inlittle circles, little book
clubs, little Facebook groups,to just talk and be able to
express questions and askquestions.
(14:47):
I saw a recent post about andthis is one that I admit that I
know we had wanted to debunk itand we haven't done it, which
we'll probably do if we comeback from sabbatical is the idea
of discovering your sexualidentity at an older age, and
I've talked to people who I metat conferences who were like,
(15:08):
yeah, like I'm 45 and I justrealized that I'm really
attracted to women and I wasmarried for 20 years, and those
types of discussions, I think,are only going to benefit all of
our society as a whole right.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Absolutely, and it's funny I've played sort of
armchair therapist.
Sometimes it feels like withbooks that I've had these
conversations with, but it'slike I hope that listening to us
and the way that ourrelationship helps other people
realize that the people that areclose to you in your life are
going to be open and want tohave those conversations,
(15:45):
because I've had conversationswith people about everything
from their own sexual identityto their relationship with their
wife that they've been marriedto for 40 years.
I can talk to people because weyou and I, mom have made it
known that we're comfortablewith having these conversations.
I would encourage our listenersto also make it known that
they're comfortable with havingthose conversations, because
(16:06):
that's what makes people feellike they're safe to open up.
It's a two-way street.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
That's really important point, shannon, even
if it's just pointing a friendto the podcast, a podcast
episode, and then meeting themfor coffee and talking about it
and having a discussion, thesediscussions.
I think what we have shownthrough our discussions together
is and not everyone gets to seewhat happens behind the scenes
before we record.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
We talk a lot more than what makes the episode.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Sometimes the conversations are challenging as
we formulate scripts and weformulate episodes, but in the
end it's so worth it.
It's not really as scary as,once again, society and the
culture has made it sound.
This whole the talk, this thatno, always talk, always have
conversation.
I remember when it was almosttwo years ago now, when we had
(16:56):
Dorothy Colvon and she talkedabout talking to our four boys.
She was brave and vulnerableand gave them the information
they needed.
Ps, she's going to be grandma.
Woo-hoo, she's going to keephaving to educate, yes, but she
has found out, at leastprovisionally, that the
biological sex use looks like agirl.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
There you go, anyhow keep talking, keep having the
conversations.
You know what we are going togo on sabbatical.
We won't be producing newepisodes, but we'll still be
here.
We'll still have an Instagram.
It will.
It will be available atsexeddebonkgmailcom.
If anything comes up.
We will continue to be aresource and we're happy to do
so.
If you see us on the street,say hi and we might just get
(17:41):
into a real long conversation.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Or if you see it, at queer beers at Moniker.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, I'll be there too.
Don't be there.
Before we wrap up, I wanted topoint out some of our most
popular episodes because theythink it's interesting to see
the way that our viewers, ouraudience, has listened to our
episodes.
First of all, our number onemost downloaded episode, which
makes sense, is our firstepisode, which is the myth that
sexed in the US is comprehensive.
(18:09):
We know it's not.
We debunked that myth.
It's still a myth but it'sencouraging that so many people
even if we get a drop-off afterthat episode when they never
came back to the podcast everagain starting the conversation
about what comprehensive sexedmeans really important.
The other most popular episodes,which I find very amusing and
makes me wonder what thedemographic of our audiences is,
(18:31):
was the porn sex is real sexepisode with Nikki Davis
Fanbloom.
That was when we talked aboutthe representation and
misrepresentation of sex in thepornography and the adult
entertainment industry.
We talked about how there's alot more cleanup that goes on
behind the scenes than whatmakes it.
(18:51):
I remember Plucking in thebeginning.
I remember Nikki talking aboutbeing on set and watching
someone slip off the couch andthat didn't make the final cut.
That was a really amusingepisode that I enjoyed quite a
bit, and hearing her perspectiveas both a sex educator but also
as a sex journalist was reallyfascinating.
The next one that was mostlistened to was the masturbation
(19:12):
is easy myth.
I think it was good for us tostart expanding our to our
audience a little bit more, sopeople that might not
necessarily be in active sexualrelationships.
Of course, you can masturbatein any relationship.
It was interesting that wetalked a lot more about our male
identifying audience in thatepisode as well.
That was with Dr Kaley in DEC,who is a local roadie doctor.
(19:35):
We definitely appreciate Kaleythere.
That was a great episode.
Talking about masturbation ishard pun intended.
Sometimes you need it andsometimes it doesn't matter how
sexually fulfilled you are.
That's still a naturalbiological part of functioning
as a sexual being.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
That was fascinating to me that that was one of the
most popular episodes.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Yeah, pretty funny.
Then this one which doesn'tsurprise me because I think it
is one of the ones that we'verecommended the most is coming
out is a one time deal, the myththat you come out and it's one
and done.
I myself have directed a lot ofpeople to that episode,
especially parents or peoplethat I know who have children,
who are exploring their sexualidentity, but also, to your
(20:16):
earlier point, friends of minewho are saying I don't really
know how to have thisconversation with my parents and
then said, well, maybe sendthem this episode just to
understand that it's difficult.
We talked a lot in that episodeabout the fact that the reason
why it's not a one and done dealis because in most cases, you
are not broadcasting to everysingle person that you know
hello, by the way, I'm queer.
It's often that you come out toyour friends, you come out to
(20:40):
your family.
When you start any job, you haveto come out to coworkers, and
then you start another job, youhave to come out to them again.
So it's this process and we'vetalked so much on this show
about anticipated stigma andminority stigma and just the
fear.
I'm glad that that was one ofour most listened episodes
because it is really important,whether you're talking about
sexual identity, gender identity, whatever it is to remember
(21:01):
that the best way you can honorsomeone's identity is to honor
it when they're not in the room.
So, whether that'sunderstanding that it's not
their friend, it's theirgirlfriend, or understanding
that their pronouns or theirpronouns or their name is their
name, the best thing you can doto be an ally and be supportive
of someone who has amarginalized identity sexual
identity, gender identity is tohonor them even when you're not
(21:22):
there or they're not thereExactly, and you know all of
these episodes.
That and the last episode youhad listed as a popular episode
is sex is in a skill which, yes,the myth that sex is not a
skill, which we, I think, havealso dedicated a good portion of
this podcast to debunking.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
But I, but I, but I love that because it recognizes
that sexuality is something thatwe learn.
It's like it's like anythingelse we we learn how to read, we
learn how to write, we learnhow to do a relationship right,
oh, I just made a poll.
God, that was beautiful, butit's true.
And and I think that we as aculture have an expectation that
(21:59):
you're automatically supposedto know what to do and what you
know what to do you can do withevery partner, and it's going to
come to the same end, and Ireally think that the fact that
our listeners like, reallyenjoyed that episode says a lot
about where we're going in termsof accepting sexuality as part
of our identity and not justpart of something that that's
(22:23):
baby puts in a corner, Like youknow, dirty dancing yeah.
No, no, don't put your sexualityin a corner.
Make it part of you know whoyou are, part of your whole
lived experience andunderstanding you know.
Reading, going back, listening,going back and listening to
these bits kind of brings it allhome that at the end of the day
, our sexuality is part of ourwellness.
(22:45):
And as we break down socialnorms and we talk more about
sexuality, hopefully that stressof minorities and the rest of
us over sexuality will lessen,because it'll just be more
normalized, like self care hasbeen normalized over the last
you know couple of decades,because, trust me, shannon, was
(23:06):
not something your grandmatalked about.
Self care was not somethingthat was mentioned in the hope.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Yeah, Well, we're a different generation, Thank
goodness, but if it's any, youknow.
I think one thing that it'sgood to kind of end on here is
we've had over 20,000 downloads,as we said, and that means that
we have engaged over 20,000times with people who want to
learn more and want tounderstand more and who want to
be having these conversations,or at least overhearing these
(23:35):
conversations, in preparationfor conversations of their own,
and I think that, to me, isextremely encouraging about the
direction we're going in and, Ihope, for our listeners, it's
encouraging for you to know thatit's not just you who wants to
know more and it's not just youwho's interested in these
conversations.
There is a big community ofpeople that are actively
choosing to learn more and toexpand their thinking about sex
(23:55):
and sexuality.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I am similarly hopeful, shannon, and as I talk
to young people and I even talkto my cohort I feel encouraged
as well, and I think that themore we talk about our sexuality
, the healthier we'll all be.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Absolutely so.
Before we sign off, we ofcourse have to thank everyone
who has helped us to get sex eddebunked to where it is over the
last two and a half years.
First and foremost, chris andTrollblaze Media.
We appreciate all of thesupport in the last two and a
half years.
This idea started as a huh Iwonder if we could do a podcast
and has come this far.
So thank you for the ongoingsupport for the last two and a
(24:31):
half years.
Yeah amazing journey.
So happy to have produced thislocally with a local marketing
agency and with folks who reallybelieved in our vision.
So huge thanks to Chris.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Yeah, and I think just to underline that you know,
the belief you all had enoughis really what kept us going to
when we got really busy thebelief and the and knowing that
the product that we were puttingout was so good.
I also want to mention Liz atTrailblaze, who helped with the
design.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Yes, our beautiful logos that we've redesigned
multiple times.
Thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
They pop and I know that when I have, you know, new
students and new friends, listen, they're like oh, is that like
flowers?
Or saved by the bell?
Yes, that's what we were goingto Exactly.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yes, took our ticket to reality.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yes, and I want to do .
I like a short shout out to thepeople along the way who
stepped in and volunteered tohelp us with social media Right
now.
You know Megan has been doing abang up job, despite the fact
that they've been doing amazingwork.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Thank you, Megan.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
But before that, Bella, one of my interns, and
Shayna, of course who?
Speaker 3 (25:33):
yes, shayna, who was the Jane of all trades behind
the scenes to at Trailblaze,helping on the social side,
helping on the production side,sound engineering.
She kind of did it all behindthe scenes.
So big, big shout out andappreciation to Shayna
Wine-Trailob also.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
And, of course, the main man.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
The myth, the legend, ezra.
There's not anything we couldreally say to encompass the
amount of appreciation andgratitude we have for the love
you've put into this podcast andwe only hope that you know
we'll be back after thesabbatical and we can all work
on it again together, becauseEzra's passion and vision and
dedication to making this anincredible product is a huge,
(26:14):
huge reason why we were able toreach the people.
We did, and you know, send themessages we have and created the
conversations we have.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, most, most definitely.
I cannot tell you how manytimes Shannon people who I have
said, oh, listen to the podcast,reach back to me and go wow,
that was so professional, like Ithink they expected.
It was like, oh, I'm hangingout talking to my daughter about
sex right In cans and a YouTubechannel, yeah.
Consistently and honestly.
That's part of the reason wewon the award from the American
Association of SexualityEducators, counselors and
(26:44):
Therapists, because it was soprofessional.
And I want to add my part ofyou know, ezra, you're just one
of the best humans I've ever metand I am just, I feel, so
blessed to know you and to havefelt your energy and your
positivity, and to see your facewhen we were recording in
studio.
Just nodding and smiling wassome of the most wonderful
(27:06):
episodes that we recorded.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Absolutely, and to all of our guests, because that
same energy and that sameexcitement to have these
conversations.
You know, over and over againwe had these interviews with
folks and we would bring them inas experts.
But along the way we would alllearn from each other and it is
so incredibly rewarding to seeeveryone who's involved light up
as they realize that theconversations are continuing to
(27:29):
expand and that we can allbenefit and we can all learn
from each other.
And if that's, if there'sanything that could encompass
just the utter appreciation foreveryone who's been a part of
this show, it's the ability tohave learned together and
expanded our view of the worldtogether.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Exactly, and boy, I did learn a lot, and we sure did
learn a lot.
I learned an awful lot, and youknow that's.
That's what comes down right towhat we said at the beginning,
right, shannon's conversations.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yep.
So keep having theconversations.
We'll keep having them too.
We'll definitely keep havingthem too, and with any luck,
we'll be back, and we will, ofcourse, keep you all updated as
to when that is on our socials.
And in the meantime it's beenwell gosh.
I guess it's been a pleasure.
We got to end it with a pun.
(28:19):
I mean, it had to be.
It had to be.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
And you know, and then maybe the myth we're
putting to bed this week is themyth that we won't be coming
back because we will.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
We'll be back.
We'll be back.
So that's not another myth putto bed per se, but we'll say it
anyway.
That's another myth Put to bed.
That is a wrap on Sex EdDebunked.
We'll be on our sabbatical, butif you have any questions, any
comments, any myths you'd liketo debunk or any conversations
you'd like to start, we willcontinue to be available across
(28:51):
all the socials at Sex EdDebunked and available at
sexeddebunkedgmailcom.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Awesome.
Love you, bye.
Love you guys.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Bye.
Love you too, Shannon.
See you tomorrow.
Bye.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Thanks for tuning in for this week's episode of Sex
Ed Debunked During the course ofour podcast.
We have limited time together,which means that, unfortunately,
many identities, groups andmovements may not be represented
each week.
The field of sexuality andgender orientations, identities
and behaviors are changing,growing rapidly, and we remain
committed to being as inclusiveas possible.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
Please remember that all of us, including us, are
learning in this area and mayoccasionally slip up.
We ask that we all continue tobe kind to one another so that
we can create a truly inclusiveand accepting environment.
As always, if you have anyquestions or comments, please
feel free to reach out to us atSex Ed Debunked on Instagram,
facebook and Twitter.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Sex Ed Debunked is produced by Trailblaze Media in
Providence, Rhode Island.
Our sound producer is EzraWinters, with production
assistance from Shea Weintra.
Hi, this is Sex.
Ed Debunked across-generational podcast
hosted by mother daughter duo,christine and Shannon Curley.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Every episode we tackle a new myth about sex,
sexuality and pleasure, and useresearch and expert insights to
debunk stereotypes andmisinformation from the bedroom
and beyond.
In 2022,.
We won the American Associationof Sexuality Educators,
Counselors and Therapists Awardfor Best Podcast and also
managed to not totally freak outour family and friends along
the way.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
We believe in healthy sex-positive, pleasure-focused
sex education backed by realresearch and real experience.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter
at Sex Ed Debunked or email usat SexEdDeBunked at gmailcom to
share your sex miseducationtales and the myths you'd like
to hear us debunk.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Hi, this is Sex Ed Debunked a cross-generational
podcast about sex education,sexual health and how we're
pretty sure Netflix stole ouridea about this podcast for the
final season of sex education.
What Pretty sure I mean noshade, it's fine Imitation is
the sincerest form of flattery,but also, if that's the case,
then I'm extremely flattered bythe last season of sex education
(01:06):
.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Oh, that's awesome.
Well, I have been saving thatwhole season for when I have
time, aka like now, becausenormally I use Netflix to go to
sleep at night and I don't wantto fall asleep over one of the
best shows ever produced ontelevision that gives good
education about sex education.
So thanks for the heads up,shannon.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, just don't be surprised if you think, hmm,
haven't I seen this podcast?
Have you seen this somewhere?
Because you have, and it's thispodcast.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Go on.
Maybe somebody's been listeningand we don't even know.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
No, I think we might be flattering ourselves here,
but it is interesting howsimilar it is.
But on this week's episode,actually, after nearly two and a
half years of Sex Ed Debunked,which is insane two and a half
years, I mean time hasdisappeared anyway in the last
few years.
None of us know what time it isanyway, but two and a half
years in of Sex Ed Debunked andover 20,000 downloads which is
(01:58):
crazy.
Thank you to our listeners.
We have decided to take asabbatical from Sex Ed Debunked
for a variety of reasons, but weknow we haven't been posting as
regularly as usual and it'sbecause we've been talking a lot
amongst each other and we'vebeen talking with the Trailblaze
team and we think that taking abreak to focus on some of our
other priorities right now isthe best thing for this show and
(02:20):
in the meantime we're hopingthat folks will continue to tune
in and continue to learn fromthe podcast while we focus on
those things.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
And we just want to stress that the things we're
taking a sabbatical for are good, excellent, wonderful things.
So, yes, don't take a pause,and Shan has one amazing thing
that we'll be planning for.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yes, I'm going to be spending the next six months
planning for a wedding.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
She said yes.
She said yes.
She said yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
So over two and a half years of Sex Ed Debunked,
with you guys hearing some of mypersonal stories and woe and
covering some episodes likecoming out and navigating
sexuality and navigating youridentity and I can be getting
heartbreak and communicationstyles and all these things.
I am now happily engaged to thelove of my life, so I will be
(03:08):
spending some time focusing onthat.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And we love Amanda too.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah, she's the best.
But also, christine, on yourside of things, is also going to
be focusing, now that you havesuccessfully defended your PhD
and been teaching at WesleyanUniversity, just continuing to
get engrossed in that educationpath and that academic path and
focusing on that.
But what we do want to, ofcourse, emphasize is that we're
calling this a sabbatical for areason.
We hope that we will be comingback, and when we do so, we will
(03:38):
do that with a whole new listof myths and a whole new list of
topics to cover, because weknow there's always going to be
more to debunk, and we've lovedevery minute of this show.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Always more to debunk and also we want to be able to
come back and be able to do evenmore for you and our listeners.
We want to think about aYouTube channel and TikToks and
things like that that we canreach even more people debunking
these myths that are really,really important to debunk.
But it goes without saying,we've absolutely loved every
(04:08):
minute of producing this podcastfor our listeners and are
astonished every day about thepeople that we've met and the
people who've said oh, Irecognize your voice, I think I
listened to your podcast.
How amazing is that?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah, it's been a fun little journey of becoming
weird little mini celebrities,mostly in Rhode Island.
But beyond two, we've had somefunny run-ins where people know
who we are and it's hard toimagine that two and a half
years ago we were sitting on abeach musing about oh, this
might be something we couldmaybe do.
We'll see how it goes.
And two and a half years laterwe have almost 100 episodes and
(04:42):
28,000 plus downloads, which isjust incredible.
And we do.
We want to continue to delivervalue to our audience and
continue to have thoseconversations.
So this is not a goodbye, it'sjust a see you later, until we
are set up to continue havingmore of those discussions.
But before we go, we wouldnever leave you without one last
(05:04):
myth before we take thisprobably six monthish break, but
we'll keep you posted on socialmedia.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
But we do have one last myth that we wanted to
debunk, and that is the myththat there is any normal way to
experience big air quotes as wedo normal way to experience sex
and sexuality which is arguablythe umbrella myth of all the
myths that we've talked about,and because if there's any
impact that we want this show tohave, is to hope that it's
(05:30):
opening your eyes to thepossibilities of sexuality and
positive sexuality and how itcan be such a healthy component
of your life.
So, with that.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
come on, dr Curley, let's jump into some research.
I felt good.
I like the sound of that it'sabout time, right.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
But in fairness, I think part of what we're going
to do today is revisit and kindof reframe all of the research
that we've talked about in thelast two and a half years.
I was reflecting on this theother day and I went to a
conference the end of Novemberthe sexuality conference and a
researcher, a fellow researcher,brought to my attention this
book called Not Always in theMood, and it talked about the
(06:13):
social norms around men andmasculinity.
Then I have like, as I said, Ihave amazing students at
Wesleyan.
The papers they wrote weredebunking social norms, social
myths.
But what, to bring it back to?
The most basic thing is our job, our task on this podcast and
our task in our lives is tobreak down the social norms and
(06:35):
allow ourselves to expand intosomething much greater.
And what I was thinking about,shannon, was you know, this
journey isn't that differentfrom the word self-care.
Now, your generation is prettyfamiliar with that right Right.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
And we even had a myth that we debunked about
self-care always being a goodthing and when self-care can
sometimes lead to self-sabotage.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
But my generation.
That wasn't anything that wetalked about.
We talked about workingourselves to the bone,
especially as women.
We were talking about all theroles we had, and self-care was
a generational process oflearning and now it's part of
our cultural vernacular right.
Taking time out for yourself,taking time for your wellness,
(07:21):
taking space Productivity is theonly thing that doesn't matter,
that matters.
All of these things are nowsomething most of us understand.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, and you know, when we go back and we talk
about, you know, the idea ofself-care and wellness, you know
that's kind of where yourresearch interest started was
the idea that wellness doesn'texclude sexual wellness and
sexual well-being, and so thatis the kind of perfect umbrella
topic to come back to two and ahalf years later.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Well, and I think what I want to, the last kind of
words before we go on thesabbatical that I want to talk
to you with everyone is the ideais we have accepted self-care.
Now it's time for us to embracethe concept of sexual self-care
, that thinking about oursexuality and really learning
about it, embracing it,accepting it, is just as valid
(08:15):
as the self-care revolution.
We should be having a sexualself-care revolution, but what
was required for that isunderstanding that we are not
held to the social norms thatwe've been raised with.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Exactly, and that's where this myth for today comes
from the idea that there is noquote, unquote, normal version
of sexual sexuality.
And again, we've had so manyepisodes with so many amazing
guests.
But even most recently we hadthe guests Jeremiah and Julia on
from Sex Vangelicals talkingabout having to break and how
difficult it was to break out ofthe norms that they were raised
with within the church and ofcourse the church can be a more
(08:48):
extreme example of the norms arelaid out right there in front
of you.
But even to your point, mom,the way you're raised and what
you are raised to think is rightwithin your family, within your
friends.
There is always opportunity inroom to revisit that, but you
have to allow yourselfpermission to revisit if it's
not serving your wellness.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You're exactly right, and what I wanted to highlight
is a couple of social norms thatmaybe we didn't really discuss
that much, and I found it reallyinteresting because a lot of
these were raised by my students, which is telling me that these
are still norms, right, becausethese are college students who
still understand that they areliving in this cultural quagmire
and in order to get out of it,we have to talk about it more.
(09:29):
So we've talked on this podcastabout the idea of gender
diversity.
There's not a normal gender,right, there's a diversity in a
spectrum.
There's orientation being on aspectrum, nothing normal.
How about the idea how societytreats masculine norms around
(09:50):
virginity?
And think about, for women,it's a gift, right, you hold
onto it.
You have a taken from you, youlose it.
For men, being a virgin islaughed at.
Think about every media movieand Shannon, I know you know all
our media references becauseyou're the media person Every
(10:10):
movie that portrays malevirginity Well, who are they?
Who are those men?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, there was the nerds, the nerds, the dorks, the
.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I'm just trying to get laid before I go to college
crowd or the 40-year-old virgin,and so there's a norm.
We haven't talked about that.
I want to say to all of ourlisteners, like there's no
normal time to have your firstsexual experience, there's no
normal time to have your firstgirlfriend, there's no or
boyfriend or partner.
That sexuality is somethinglike every other aspect of our
(10:43):
sexual identity that we shouldbe free to explore in our own
place.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
There's no normal and there's no fixed.
You can continue to explore andyou should continue to explore,
because exploration is part ofgrowth.
And it's interesting when wetalk about self-care, because we
do, of course, talk aboutgenerational differences a lot
on this podcast and, on the onehand, mom, your generation never
talked about self-care.
On the other hand, mygeneration maybe talks too much
(11:09):
about it, or talks too muchabout self-care in isolation
from other types of care, andwe've talked a few times about
studies and research that havesaid that the younger
generations aren't dating asmuch.
They're having sex later, andthere's so many things about
that where we've talked aboutokay, but connection is still
important.
And if your version ofself-care is that you're
(11:30):
shutting down because you don'twant to run the risk of being
hurt or whatever, you're kind ofshooting yourself on the foot
there too, and so what we wantto encourage people to do is
tread lightly, but still tread.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Well, and also, let's start talking everybody.
Hopefully, I know from talkingto my friends and colleagues and
people who have listened to thepodcast that what we've done in
this podcast is startconversations and, even though
we're going on sabbatical, keephaving those conversations, keep
talking about things andpushing those edges and pushing
those boundaries.
(12:01):
You know the social norm of thesexual response.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
You know we're talking about this myth of
normalcy, but you're absolutelyright that the conversations are
part of what necessarily blursthe lines of what normal is,
what necessarily expands thedefinition of quote unquote
normal.
And I think if I had to pickone thing that I'm most proud
about with this podcast, it'sthe conversations I've had with
people outside of the podcastabout things that they've
(12:29):
learned or takeaways they have.
Like, yesterday I was withsomeone, I was with a colleague
of mine, who's, you know, Ireport to them, and on his way
home from us meeting to grab adrink, he listened to the
episode about attachment stylesand when he got home he texted
me and he said, wow, that wasfascinating, I learned so much.
I never thought about thatbefore.
And you know, I remember, youknow, maybe six months ago we
(12:51):
had the episode about asexuality, which is a topic that isn't
discussed very often, and Iremember a friend of mine
reaching out and saying I thinkthat might be me, and it's like
huh, you know, and it's justgiving those voices and, to your
point, we might not be puttingout new episodes every single
week, but we have enoughmaterial out there that you have
(13:13):
the ability to have thoseconversations and I know, mom,
you've had experiences too withyou know saying to people here
listen to this episode, it mighthelp you.
And here we did these fourepisodes about X, y and Z, about
gender, about polyamory, aboutwhat to do when your kid comes
out, whatever it is.
You know, we are so proud, andI'm so proud, to have become a
resource that people can turn to, to have those conversations
(13:35):
and to expand the boundaries ofwhat quote, unquote, normal
might mean Exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
And you know, shannon , I'm really proud that we've
done this together because Ithink one of the things that I
hear from you know people ofmore of my generation or between
our generations is, wow, you dothis with your daughter, you
know, and I'm pretty quick tosay, well, I wasn't quite this
open when you were a teenager,but I'm still really grateful
and I think that doing thistogether has opened a lot of
(14:04):
parents' eyes and older folks'eyes to the possibilities that
they can have these discussionswith their preteens, their teens
, their college-age students,and it has also.
I've also had students say Iwant my mom to listen to this
podcast.
I believe my mom the podcast,and that sparks discussion and
(14:26):
fundamentally, the only way thatsocial norms are going to be
pushed into something that'sbroader and more expansive is if
we keep talking.
Absolutely All of us, even inlittle circles, little book
clubs, little Facebook groups,to just talk and be able to
express questions and askquestions.
(14:47):
I saw a recent post about andthis is one that I admit that I
know we had wanted to debunk itand we haven't done it, which
we'll probably do if we comeback from sabbatical is the idea
of discovering your sexualidentity at an older age, and
I've talked to people who I metat conferences who were like,
(15:08):
yeah, like I'm 45 and I justrealized that I'm really
attracted to women and I wasmarried for 20 years, and those
types of discussions, I think,are only going to benefit all of
our society as a whole right.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Absolutely, and it's funny I've played sort of
armchair therapist.
Sometimes it feels like withbooks that I've had these
conversations with, but it'slike I hope that listening to us
and the way that ourrelationship helps other people
realize that the people that areclose to you in your life are
going to be open and want tohave those conversations,
(15:45):
because I've had conversationswith people about everything
from their own sexual identityto their relationship with their
wife that they've been marriedto for 40 years.
I can talk to people because weyou and I, mom have made it
known that we're comfortablewith having these conversations.
I would encourage our listenersto also make it known that
they're comfortable with havingthose conversations, because
(16:06):
that's what makes people feellike they're safe to open up.
It's a two-way street.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
That's really important point, shannon, even
if it's just pointing a friendto the podcast, a podcast
episode, and then meeting themfor coffee and talking about it
and having a discussion, thesediscussions.
I think what we have shownthrough our discussions together
is and not everyone gets to seewhat happens behind the scenes
before we record.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
We talk a lot more than what makes the episode.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Sometimes the conversations are challenging as
we formulate scripts and weformulate episodes, but in the
end it's so worth it.
It's not really as scary as,once again, society and the
culture has made it sound.
This whole the talk, this thatno, always talk, always have
conversation.
I remember when it was almosttwo years ago now, when we had
(16:56):
Dorothy Colvon and she talkedabout talking to our four boys.
She was brave and vulnerableand gave them the information
they needed.
Ps, she's going to be grandma.
Woo-hoo, she's going to keephaving to educate, yes, but she
has found out, at leastprovisionally, that the
biological sex use looks like agirl.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
There you go, anyhow keep talking, keep having the
conversations.
You know what we are going togo on sabbatical.
We won't be producing newepisodes, but we'll still be
here.
We'll still have an Instagram.
It will.
It will be available atsexeddebonkgmailcom.
If anything comes up.
We will continue to be aresource and we're happy to do
so.
If you see us on the street,say hi and we might just get
(17:41):
into a real long conversation.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Or if you see it, at queer beers at Moniker.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, I'll be there too.
Don't be there.
Before we wrap up, I wanted topoint out some of our most
popular episodes because theythink it's interesting to see
the way that our viewers, ouraudience, has listened to our
episodes.
First of all, our number onemost downloaded episode, which
makes sense, is our firstepisode, which is the myth that
sexed in the US is comprehensive.
(18:09):
We know it's not.
We debunked that myth.
It's still a myth but it'sencouraging that so many people
even if we get a drop-off afterthat episode when they never
came back to the podcast everagain starting the conversation
about what comprehensive sexedmeans really important.
The other most popular episodes,which I find very amusing and
makes me wonder what thedemographic of our audiences is,
(18:31):
was the porn sex is real sexepisode with Nikki Davis
Fanbloom.
That was when we talked aboutthe representation and
misrepresentation of sex in thepornography and the adult
entertainment industry.
We talked about how there's alot more cleanup that goes on
behind the scenes than whatmakes it.
(18:51):
I remember Plucking in thebeginning.
I remember Nikki talking aboutbeing on set and watching
someone slip off the couch andthat didn't make the final cut.
That was a really amusingepisode that I enjoyed quite a
bit, and hearing her perspectiveas both a sex educator but also
as a sex journalist was reallyfascinating.
The next one that was mostlistened to was the masturbation
(19:12):
is easy myth.
I think it was good for us tostart expanding our to our
audience a little bit more, sopeople that might not
necessarily be in active sexualrelationships.
Of course, you can masturbatein any relationship.
It was interesting that wetalked a lot more about our male
identifying audience in thatepisode as well.
That was with Dr Kaley in DEC,who is a local roadie doctor.
(19:35):
We definitely appreciate Kaleythere.
That was a great episode.
Talking about masturbation ishard pun intended.
Sometimes you need it andsometimes it doesn't matter how
sexually fulfilled you are.
That's still a naturalbiological part of functioning
as a sexual being.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
That was fascinating to me that that was one of the
most popular episodes.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Yeah, pretty funny.
Then this one which doesn'tsurprise me because I think it
is one of the ones that we'verecommended the most is coming
out is a one time deal, the myththat you come out and it's one
and done.
I myself have directed a lot ofpeople to that episode,
especially parents or peoplethat I know who have children,
who are exploring their sexualidentity, but also, to your
(20:16):
earlier point, friends of minewho are saying I don't really
know how to have thisconversation with my parents and
then said, well, maybe sendthem this episode just to
understand that it's difficult.
We talked a lot in that episodeabout the fact that the reason
why it's not a one and done dealis because in most cases, you
are not broadcasting to everysingle person that you know
hello, by the way, I'm queer.
It's often that you come out toyour friends, you come out to
(20:40):
your family.
When you start any job, you haveto come out to coworkers, and
then you start another job, youhave to come out to them again.
So it's this process and we'vetalked so much on this show
about anticipated stigma andminority stigma and just the
fear.
I'm glad that that was one ofour most listened episodes
because it is really important,whether you're talking about
sexual identity, gender identity, whatever it is to remember
(21:01):
that the best way you can honorsomeone's identity is to honor
it when they're not in the room.
So, whether that'sunderstanding that it's not
their friend, it's theirgirlfriend, or understanding
that their pronouns or theirpronouns or their name is their
name, the best thing you can doto be an ally and be supportive
of someone who has amarginalized identity sexual
identity, gender identity is tohonor them even when you're not
(21:22):
there or they're not thereExactly, and you know all of
these episodes.
That and the last episode youhad listed as a popular episode
is sex is in a skill which, yes,the myth that sex is not a
skill, which we, I think, havealso dedicated a good portion of
this podcast to debunking.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
But I, but I, but I love that because it recognizes
that sexuality is something thatwe learn.
It's like it's like anythingelse we we learn how to read, we
learn how to write, we learnhow to do a relationship right,
oh, I just made a poll.
God, that was beautiful, butit's true.
And and I think that we as aculture have an expectation that
(21:59):
you're automatically supposedto know what to do and what you
know what to do you can do withevery partner, and it's going to
come to the same end, and Ireally think that the fact that
our listeners like, reallyenjoyed that episode says a lot
about where we're going in termsof accepting sexuality as part
of our identity and not justpart of something that that's
(22:23):
baby puts in a corner, Like youknow, dirty dancing yeah.
No, no, don't put your sexualityin a corner.
Make it part of you know whoyou are, part of your whole
lived experience andunderstanding you know.
Reading, going back, listening,going back and listening to
these bits kind of brings it allhome that at the end of the day
, our sexuality is part of ourwellness.
(22:45):
And as we break down socialnorms and we talk more about
sexuality, hopefully that stressof minorities and the rest of
us over sexuality will lessen,because it'll just be more
normalized, like self care hasbeen normalized over the last
you know couple of decades,because, trust me, shannon, was
(23:06):
not something your grandmatalked about.
Self care was not somethingthat was mentioned in the hope.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Yeah, Well, we're a different generation, Thank
goodness, but if it's any, youknow.
I think one thing that it'sgood to kind of end on here is
we've had over 20,000 downloads,as we said, and that means that
we have engaged over 20,000times with people who want to
learn more and want tounderstand more and who want to
be having these conversations,or at least overhearing these
(23:35):
conversations, in preparationfor conversations of their own,
and I think that, to me, isextremely encouraging about the
direction we're going in and, Ihope, for our listeners, it's
encouraging for you to know thatit's not just you who wants to
know more and it's not just youwho's interested in these
conversations.
There is a big community ofpeople that are actively
choosing to learn more and toexpand their thinking about sex
(23:55):
and sexuality.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I am similarly hopeful, shannon, and as I talk
to young people and I even talkto my cohort I feel encouraged
as well, and I think that themore we talk about our sexuality
, the healthier we'll all be.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Absolutely so.
Before we sign off, we ofcourse have to thank everyone
who has helped us to get sex eddebunked to where it is over the
last two and a half years.
First and foremost, chris andTrollblaze Media.
We appreciate all of thesupport in the last two and a
half years.
This idea started as a huh Iwonder if we could do a podcast
and has come this far.
So thank you for the ongoingsupport for the last two and a
(24:31):
half years.
Yeah amazing journey.
So happy to have produced thislocally with a local marketing
agency and with folks who reallybelieved in our vision.
So huge thanks to Chris.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Yeah, and I think just to underline that you know,
the belief you all had enoughis really what kept us going to
when we got really busy thebelief and the and knowing that
the product that we were puttingout was so good.
I also want to mention Liz atTrailblaze, who helped with the
design.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Yes, our beautiful logos that we've redesigned
multiple times.
Thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
They pop and I know that when I have, you know, new
students and new friends, listen, they're like oh, is that like
flowers?
Or saved by the bell?
Yes, that's what we were goingto Exactly.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yes, took our ticket to reality.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yes, and I want to do .
I like a short shout out to thepeople along the way who
stepped in and volunteered tohelp us with social media Right
now.
You know Megan has been doing abang up job, despite the fact
that they've been doing amazingwork.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Thank you, Megan.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
But before that, Bella, one of my interns, and
Shayna, of course who?
Speaker 3 (25:33):
yes, shayna, who was the Jane of all trades behind
the scenes to at Trailblaze,helping on the social side,
helping on the production side,sound engineering.
She kind of did it all behindthe scenes.
So big, big shout out andappreciation to Shayna
Wine-Trailob also.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
And, of course, the main man.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
The myth, the legend, ezra.
There's not anything we couldreally say to encompass the
amount of appreciation andgratitude we have for the love
you've put into this podcast andwe only hope that you know
we'll be back after thesabbatical and we can all work
on it again together, becauseEzra's passion and vision and
dedication to making this anincredible product is a huge,
(26:14):
huge reason why we were able toreach the people.
We did, and you know, send themessages we have and created the
conversations we have.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, most, most definitely.
I cannot tell you how manytimes Shannon people who I have
said, oh, listen to the podcast,reach back to me and go wow,
that was so professional, like Ithink they expected.
It was like, oh, I'm hangingout talking to my daughter about
sex right In cans and a YouTubechannel, yeah.
Consistently and honestly.
That's part of the reason wewon the award from the American
Association of SexualityEducators, counselors and
(26:44):
Therapists, because it was soprofessional.
And I want to add my part ofyou know, ezra, you're just one
of the best humans I've ever metand I am just, I feel, so
blessed to know you and to havefelt your energy and your
positivity, and to see your facewhen we were recording in
studio.
Just nodding and smiling wassome of the most wonderful
(27:06):
episodes that we recorded.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Absolutely, and to all of our guests, because that
same energy and that sameexcitement to have these
conversations.
You know, over and over againwe had these interviews with
folks and we would bring them inas experts.
But along the way we would alllearn from each other and it is
so incredibly rewarding to seeeveryone who's involved light up
as they realize that theconversations are continuing to
(27:29):
expand and that we can allbenefit and we can all learn
from each other.
And if that's, if there'sanything that could encompass
just the utter appreciation foreveryone who's been a part of
this show, it's the ability tohave learned together and
expanded our view of the worldtogether.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Exactly, and boy, I did learn a lot, and we sure did
learn a lot.
I learned an awful lot, and youknow that's.
That's what comes down right towhat we said at the beginning,
right, shannon's conversations.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yep.
So keep having theconversations.
We'll keep having them too.
We'll definitely keep havingthem too, and with any luck,
we'll be back, and we will, ofcourse, keep you all updated as
to when that is on our socials.
And in the meantime it's beenwell gosh.
I guess it's been a pleasure.
We got to end it with a pun.
(28:19):
I mean, it had to be.
It had to be.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
And you know, and then maybe the myth we're
putting to bed this week is themyth that we won't be coming
back because we will.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
We'll be back.
We'll be back.
So that's not another myth putto bed per se, but we'll say it
anyway.
That's another myth Put to bed.
That is a wrap on Sex EdDebunked.
We'll be on our sabbatical, butif you have any questions, any
comments, any myths you'd liketo debunk or any conversations
you'd like to start, we willcontinue to be available across
(28:51):
all the socials at Sex EdDebunked and available at
sexeddebunkedgmailcom.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Awesome.
Love you, bye.
Love you guys.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Bye.
Love you too, Shannon.
See you tomorrow.
Bye.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Thanks for tuning in for this week's episode of Sex
Ed Debunked During the course ofour podcast.
We have limited time together,which means that, unfortunately,
many identities, groups andmovements may not be represented
each week.
The field of sexuality andgender orientations, identities
and behaviors are changing,growing rapidly, and we remain
committed to being as inclusiveas possible.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
Please remember that all of us, including us, are
learning in this area and mayoccasionally slip up.
We ask that we all continue tobe kind to one another so that
we can create a truly inclusiveand accepting environment.
As always, if you have anyquestions or comments, please
feel free to reach out to us atSex Ed Debunked on Instagram,
facebook and Twitter.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Sex Ed Debunked is produced by Trailblaze Media in
Providence, Rhode Island.
Our sound producer is EzraWinters, with production
assistance from Shea Weintra.
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