October 4, 2023 • 15 mins
Ever wondered how a simple handkerchief or a pair of Doc Martens can tell a captivating story of identity and preference? Brace yourself for an enlightening journey through the intriguing world of non-verbal communication within the LGBTQ+ community. This episode promises to deepen your understanding of this lesser-known aspect of queer culture, commonly known as flagging. Discover how a color-coded bandana or the pocket it's tucked into can signal different preferences, and how earrings and keys play their part too. We also explore how flagging has evolved with pop culture influences, specifically hip-hop, and its role in the often delicate process of coming out.
But that’s not all! We also decode modern signaling trends you may have noticed but never understood. Carabiners, not just for rock climbing anymore, are now a proud symbol of the lesbian community. Doc Martens, a fashion statement for some, for others they’re a subtle indicator of non-heterosexuality. Even nail polish isn't just about vanity, but can signal relationship status. Ever seen an upside-down pineapple and wondered why it's upside-down? Well, it’s a sign of polyamory. And who would've thought that the color of a Loofah could carry a special meaning in certain adult communities in Florida! Prepare to have your mind blown as we reveal the hidden language of symbols within the LGBTQ+ community. Tune in and let's start this fascinating exploration together!
Follow us on social @sexeddebunked or send us a message at sexeddebunked@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shannon (00:03):
This is Study Sessions brought to you by Sex Ed
Debunked In these mini-sodes.
Christine (00:07):
We'll discuss a myth suggested to us by listeners
like you Like what you hear?
Shannon (00:12):
Want to hear more?
Follow us on Instagram,facebook and Twitter at Sex Ed
Debunked to suggest new myths,provide your own show notes and
give us ideas for what to talkabout next.
Christine (00:20):
Now take some notes.
The study group is in session.
Hi, this is Study Sessions, abi-weekly mini-sode from Sex Ed
Debunked, where we talk abouttopics brought to us by you, our
listeners.
Shannon (00:37):
On this week's episode, we're talking about flagging no
, not the different pride flags,because, honestly, who has the
time?
But flagging, which also issignaling and, of course, had to
grab that urban dictionarydefinition.
It's either this is great,thank you, urban dictionary.
It's either holding your bodyhorizontally while gripping onto
a pole to look like a flag thatsounds fun.
(00:59):
That's yeah, mm-hmm.
Or the definition that we'reactually going to go through
today, which is wearingsomething that signals your
sexual identity.
Christine (01:07):
So flagging, also known as signaling, started not
surprisingly as a way for LGBTQfolks to indicate their sexual
preferences to others in thecommunity without outing
themselves to people outside ofthe community.
The practice became verypopular, especially for gay men,
in the 1970s and, I'm familiarwith, in the 80s as well.
Shannon (01:30):
Yeah, yeah, we'll get into the different types,
because there are all differenttypes of flagging.
So, yeah, what do you think?
Christine (01:36):
of Well, I know traditionally most gay men.
Shannon (01:39):
it was mostly handkerchiefs, but in the 80s
and 90s we knew about theearrings Mm-hmm yeah, I Googled
that because Google is myco-pilot, but the right ear is
gay for anyone who's takingnotes.
Left ear straight as an arrow.
Christine (01:56):
Well, right ear the thing is.
Back in the 80s people startedwearing earrings as a thing and,
quite honestly, as being a partof the cis-het community.
At the time, we never couldkeep track which was which.
So, it really didn't help usout, but clearly they've been in
the community.
The gay men in the communityknew what they were doing.
Shannon (02:17):
Yeah well, god forbid you put the.
You know you're straight andyou put it in the wrong ear.
It is making a resurgence,though there's been a problem in
the last five years or so, alot due to hip-hop culture.
Christine (02:27):
There's been a resurgence of these single-ear
earring and it's not flagging,it's just style, and then it
went to two earrings, but thenthe gay men earrings would be
the ones that had a dangle.
Shannon (02:38):
Well, now, that's not the taste.
Now there's a dangle and soit's all at the window.
Or, if you're like us, you justgo to Claire's three days
before a wedding that youpromised you would wear earrings
for, and that's our story ofhow we got our ears pierced.
Christine (02:51):
But that's a little bit of history.
That's probably years ago.
Shannon (02:54):
Not necessarily current today.
Yeah, so anyway, back to thetopic of flagging.
There you go Back tohandkerchiefs.
Handkerchiefs, right.
So it kind of looks like a flag, but depending on the color of
the handkerchief and whichpocket it was in, it would
indicate different preferences.
So you know, blue might meanthey're atop and lavender might
mean they're into drag queens.
(03:14):
Hmm, yeah, and then, yeah, thepocket itself usually indicates
top or bottom.
So, like, left pocket usuallyhas to do with something that
someone likes to give versus theright pocket, which has to do
with something that someonelikes to receive.
Christine (03:28):
Ah, okay, so in the vernacular atop is a giver and a
bottom is a receiver.
Shannon (03:34):
Yeah, but it's like this was a really interesting
journey for me to be Googling it, because, I mean, we keep using
past tense, because it's notreally used as much anymore, and
so there's so many differentreference points and it's not
all the same, which, by the way,can imagine how complicated
that must be, being like, oh, isit the 2023 blue or is this the
1990?
(03:55):
Like, oh gee, retro blue,because one means that you like
this thing and the other onemeans something entirely
different.
Christine (04:01):
Lots of keep track of which we're trying to sort out
for you, our listeners, and, asyou can see, we had a hard time
sorting it out ourselves.
Shannon (04:08):
But it's an interesting topic because it is.
You know, we talk aboutmarginalized stigma and we talk
about, you know, minority stressand flagging and subtle ways of
signaling are a huge part ofthe coming out or not coming out
experience.
But there is still modernflagging.
So, even putting aside all ofthe colors and confusion around
(04:29):
what blue means what and which,by the way, was also funny
looking at, like the redditpages, because people are like
how do I know if it's fuchsia orjust regular pink?
I think there's so many choicesnow, but there's also actually
the before we get into modernstuff.
There's also the lesbianhistory of using keys as their
way of flagging.
(04:49):
So wearing a set of keys or akey ring on the left or right
side is similar to the flag inthe left pocket, or the right
back pocket, all right.
Christine (04:57):
So that is a revelation to me, because I know
, because you know there was atime in the you know 90s, early
20s, and all of a sudden youwould see, you know, women
having a key chain.
Shannon (05:07):
I am.
Christine (05:08):
I am.
I do not know that was a, Ijust thought it was utility.
What do you think all thosekeys are for?
I don't know Well.
Shannon (05:16):
I have a key chain.
Christine (05:18):
But I'm wondering now if I have to think twice now
where I hang my keys, becausewhen I'm wearing jeans and I
have two sets of keys, I'llthrow my key chain on the right
side.
So what does the right sidemean?
Shannon (05:30):
Uh, same thing as for meant for the gay male community
.
So left pocket is top rightpocket spot.
Christine (05:39):
Oh okay, so all right .
Shannon (05:40):
But also you're not a lesbian, so it would be weird
for you to pay any attention towhat your quote unquote signal
you're not signaling.
It's also not that widelyrecognized anymore, which again
we will get into what the moremodern signals are.
But it is funny that you saythat because I remember when I
was in like the preliminarystages of creeping around, read
it as like a young 19 year oldtrying to figure out my
(06:01):
sexuality, and I read thatwearing your belt to like one
side was also how much of thisis true, unclear.
But it was like if you wearyour belt slightly off center,
it's because you're gay.
And I was like, oh god, justconstantly read adjusting my
belt.
What if they know Like?
What if these people who barelyknow what being gay means,
(06:21):
somehow know that wearing yourbelt three inches to the right
means you're queer?
Christine (06:26):
So so it seems like even within the lgbtq community,
some of that signaling andflagging is not entirely set in
stone and might be dependent onthe community that you're in,
even like a particular you knowregion of the country or
something like that, in terms ofwhat different you know codes
or signals mean.
Shannon (06:45):
Yeah, but I do think and I keep believing to this.
But there are modern quoteunquote modern signals like, for
example, uh, it's funny, thecarabiner is a real big one.
Like Like really, yeah, lesbianwomen wearing carabiners.
You're like, oh, which is funny, because when you put that
together with the history ofwearing the keys, it's like, oh,
you know, kind of, but it's,it's like the evolution of the
(07:05):
sort of the evolution, becauseit's a little bit more subtle.
But yeah, I mean, you can.
It's always the joke that, likewhenever you're at like a pride
fester, you're at like you knowa ticket and set our concert,
you have like eight millioncarabiners present.
It's ridiculous.
And again, what are youcarabining?
Christine (07:22):
Unclear.
Okay, so there's something thatI'm learning again.
I thought you know.
Okay, so a carabiner can beused as a key chain, so I just
assumed once again utility, butit is actually a signal of being
part of the LGBTQ community orspecifically like the lesbian
community, specifically lesbians.
Shannon (07:39):
Yeah, actually Shay, who's one of the editors on this
show.
She and I run Queers and Beersin Rhode Island and we've talked
many times about getting Queersand Beers branded carabiners
because we're like, I mean, thecommunity wants it, we know they
want it, so stay tuned for that.
Maybe we'll do it for a sexidea, but I'm just really up the
(07:59):
number of carabiners in theProvidence population.
So carabiners are a big one.
And then unofficially but itfeels pretty official Doc
Martens oh okay, it's like a bigone.
You know, if you got a pair ofDocs, you're probably not a one
on the Kinsey scale.
Christine (08:16):
There's somewhere else on the spectrum.
That's good to know.
That's a big one.
Shannon (08:19):
Um, I mean, we've talked about it too on the show
and we've joked about it, butlike it does get harder when non
queer folks start doing thingslike wearing docks and flannel
at the same time and you're likebut I think, I think you, I
think you, I think you got thecarabiner down.
Yeah, we'll take the carabiner.
Take the carabiner, that's forus.
Christine (08:40):
I also saw when I was looking around Tiktok.
Apparently fingernails colorsare a thing, but I don't know if
that's necessarily.
I don't think it's a signalnecessarily of Straight and
LGBTQ.
It's kind of more of a I'mavailable or I'm not available?
Shannon (08:56):
I don't know, because I truly do not see anything on
tiktok because I avoid it likethe plague as the elder
millennial Good elder millennialthat I am, but I do know that
there is a history of nailpolish for the LGBTQ community.
Two different colored nailsgenerally indicates Luscious or
at least queer, some degree ofqueer, but so, like I think what
(09:18):
you're referring to on tiktokis the Certain colors indicate
like you're spoken for, taken,and then a different color means
you're single and ready tomingle and whatever, but that's
like.
All your nails are that colorversus flagging.
I polish in the queer communitywould be like your middle finger
and your ring finger twodifferent colors and that's like
the flag I.
Christine (09:37):
I also heard of the ace ring for the asexual
community, which is a black ringworn on the right middle finger
.
So that would that would signalto other people in the
community that that is theirorientation.
Shannon (09:49):
Yeah, not to be confused with the pair ring that
we talked about in this modernday.
Which could get very confusing,like are you very much
available or very much notinterested?
Christine (09:57):
It's like this is the black part that makes it
signaling pairings pretty close.
Shannon (10:04):
Yeah, the the nail polish for a single and taken
and whatever.
Also reminds me of likeStoplight parties.
Have you heard of a stoplightparty?
Christine (10:12):
I believe you educated me.
I think at one of our Firesidegatherings, you and Shay
educated me what a stoplightparty.
Shannon (10:20):
Well, so like.
Green means you're available,yellow means you're like, you
know, maybe available, kind ofjust test in the water is then
green, green or red means you'retaken stop lights.
So even even outside of thetraditional scope of LGBTQ
flagging, to your point, thereis also just relationship
flagging.
Christine (10:36):
Okay, so I went digging into some Reddit
searches myself.
Shannon (10:42):
How dare you know where it's mine.
Christine (10:45):
You know that, but I had you know so in the so not
necessarily LGBTQ community, butin the polyamorous committee,
there's the whole thing of theupside-down pineapple.
That signals that you're open.
Swingers, lifestyle swinger,sound so kind of it.
It sounds a little like 1970s,that is what people associate
the upside-down pineapple well,apparently, in the Adult, senior
(11:09):
adult community in Florida, thevillages, as you may have heard
, can get a little wild andcrazy.
Well, they've taken theupside-down pineapple to a new
level and they have actuallythose Lufas that they hang on
their cars.
That are different colors.
Lufas like from the bathtub,yes, like to hang on your car,
(11:29):
and so wait, so check this out.
White means you're a beginner,sure.
Black means you want it all.
Great, I got a spectrumunderstood, but teal is for
bisexual, purple are people wholike to watch, pink is a soft
swap and blue is plays well withothers and yellow is open but
nervous.
Do you think that?
Shannon (11:50):
the like.
The big people in the Lufaindustry are like what is
happening?
Why has there been a resurgencein Lufa sales?
Well, and also specifically inFlorida.
Well, to the bottom of.
Christine (12:01):
First of all, remember the villages is huge.
It's like literally tens ofthousands of communities,
although I did see a counterbeing like well, it's not really
to signal anything.
It's because people in thevillages don't know which car is
there, so they use it to walk.
Shannon (12:17):
Yeah that sounds like a bagel Sis internalized
situation.
I think we all know exactlywhat it's for.
Christine (12:25):
So I think the truth is probably somewhere in the
middle.
Shannon (12:27):
I suspect that there is some coding going on, because
there's a lot of they better getthe system sorted, because if
you're just trying to find yourcar with a what is it?
Hmm, with a black likes towatch, someone knocks on your
window hey, what's up?
Saw you're into.
I was just trying to find myHonda man.
Christine (12:46):
It would be Honda Civic, probably in that
community yeah, let's savor.
But it is true that there issome signaling in Polyamorous
and open communities, and someof it will be necklaces or
bracelets and they try to colorcode as well as to make Sure
that people know where everyonestands on that spectrum, because
, much like the Kinsey scale isa spectrum, so is the spectrum
(13:07):
of open relationships as well.
Shannon (13:09):
Yeah.
So I think you know the nicething if you want to come out of
this episode with a like oh,that's good is the reason a lot
of flagging and signaling andsort of traditional ways of
indicating sexual preferencehave gone away is because there
are more avenues now to justactually be open about your
preferences, whether that ismore normalized conversations
(13:29):
about sexual preference andsexual orientation, or it's the
abundance of apps, like wetalked about on the dating
episode a couple weeks ago,grindr has made it very easy to
say exactly what you like as agay man, rather than having to
go through the Pantone colorbooklet from 2023 every time you
want to have sex.
So it is good that that's sortof moved in that direction, and
(13:50):
maybe someday we'll reclaim thepineapple and it'll just get to
be a really delicious fruit oncemore.
Christine (13:57):
Just keep it right side up and cut it up and eat it
and put it in your pina coladaand you'll be fine.
It's really good for you.
Shannon (14:02):
It's really nice, but yeah.
So always good to revisit thehistory a little bit and always
good to talk about how it's beenmodernized, but again, it's a
good indicator that we've beenable to move away as a society
from always having to be subtleand actually being able to have
open conversations and becomfortable expressing to the
world our likes, dislikes andwhat we're into, man.
Christine (14:24):
That sounds great, and if you want to wear colors,
go right ahead.
Shannon (14:28):
Yeah, just be careful not to string the wrong loofah
up to your car.
Christine (14:32):
Good advice for anyone out there, anyone at all.
Shannon (14:36):
So that's a wrap on this week's study session.
Keep sending us the subjectsand questions you'd like us to
cover and we will get anotherfull episode coming your way on
Sex Ed Debunked next week.
Take care everyone.
Bye now.
Christine (14:55):
Sex Ed Debunked is produced by Trailblaze Media in
Providence, rhode Island.
Our sound producer is EzraWinters, with production
assistance from Shea WineDrunker.
This is Study Sessions brought to you by Sex Ed
Debunked In these mini-sodes.
Christine (00:07):
We'll discuss a myth suggested to us by listeners
like you Like what you hear?
Shannon (00:12):
Want to hear more?
Follow us on Instagram,facebook and Twitter at Sex Ed
Debunked to suggest new myths,provide your own show notes and
give us ideas for what to talkabout next.
Christine (00:20):
Now take some notes.
The study group is in session.
Hi, this is Study Sessions, abi-weekly mini-sode from Sex Ed
Debunked, where we talk abouttopics brought to us by you, our
listeners.
Shannon (00:37):
On this week's episode, we're talking about flagging no
, not the different pride flags,because, honestly, who has the
time?
But flagging, which also issignaling and, of course, had to
grab that urban dictionarydefinition.
It's either this is great,thank you, urban dictionary.
It's either holding your bodyhorizontally while gripping onto
a pole to look like a flag thatsounds fun.
(00:59):
That's yeah, mm-hmm.
Or the definition that we'reactually going to go through
today, which is wearingsomething that signals your
sexual identity.
Christine (01:07):
So flagging, also known as signaling, started not
surprisingly as a way for LGBTQfolks to indicate their sexual
preferences to others in thecommunity without outing
themselves to people outside ofthe community.
The practice became verypopular, especially for gay men,
in the 1970s and, I'm familiarwith, in the 80s as well.
Shannon (01:30):
Yeah, yeah, we'll get into the different types,
because there are all differenttypes of flagging.
So, yeah, what do you think?
Christine (01:36):
of Well, I know traditionally most gay men.
Shannon (01:39):
it was mostly handkerchiefs, but in the 80s
and 90s we knew about theearrings Mm-hmm yeah, I Googled
that because Google is myco-pilot, but the right ear is
gay for anyone who's takingnotes.
Left ear straight as an arrow.
Christine (01:56):
Well, right ear the thing is.
Back in the 80s people startedwearing earrings as a thing and,
quite honestly, as being a partof the cis-het community.
At the time, we never couldkeep track which was which.
So, it really didn't help usout, but clearly they've been in
the community.
The gay men in the communityknew what they were doing.
Shannon (02:17):
Yeah well, god forbid you put the.
You know you're straight andyou put it in the wrong ear.
It is making a resurgence,though there's been a problem in
the last five years or so, alot due to hip-hop culture.
Christine (02:27):
There's been a resurgence of these single-ear
earring and it's not flagging,it's just style, and then it
went to two earrings, but thenthe gay men earrings would be
the ones that had a dangle.
Shannon (02:38):
Well, now, that's not the taste.
Now there's a dangle and soit's all at the window.
Or, if you're like us, you justgo to Claire's three days
before a wedding that youpromised you would wear earrings
for, and that's our story ofhow we got our ears pierced.
Christine (02:51):
But that's a little bit of history.
That's probably years ago.
Shannon (02:54):
Not necessarily current today.
Yeah, so anyway, back to thetopic of flagging.
There you go Back tohandkerchiefs.
Handkerchiefs, right.
So it kind of looks like a flag, but depending on the color of
the handkerchief and whichpocket it was in, it would
indicate different preferences.
So you know, blue might meanthey're atop and lavender might
mean they're into drag queens.
(03:14):
Hmm, yeah, and then, yeah, thepocket itself usually indicates
top or bottom.
So, like, left pocket usuallyhas to do with something that
someone likes to give versus theright pocket, which has to do
with something that someonelikes to receive.
Christine (03:28):
Ah, okay, so in the vernacular atop is a giver and a
bottom is a receiver.
Shannon (03:34):
Yeah, but it's like this was a really interesting
journey for me to be Googling it, because, I mean, we keep using
past tense, because it's notreally used as much anymore, and
so there's so many differentreference points and it's not
all the same, which, by the way,can imagine how complicated
that must be, being like, oh, isit the 2023 blue or is this the
1990?
(03:55):
Like, oh gee, retro blue,because one means that you like
this thing and the other onemeans something entirely
different.
Christine (04:01):
Lots of keep track of which we're trying to sort out
for you, our listeners, and, asyou can see, we had a hard time
sorting it out ourselves.
Shannon (04:08):
But it's an interesting topic because it is.
You know, we talk aboutmarginalized stigma and we talk
about, you know, minority stressand flagging and subtle ways of
signaling are a huge part ofthe coming out or not coming out
experience.
But there is still modernflagging.
So, even putting aside all ofthe colors and confusion around
(04:29):
what blue means what and which,by the way, was also funny
looking at, like the redditpages, because people are like
how do I know if it's fuchsia orjust regular pink?
I think there's so many choicesnow, but there's also actually
the before we get into modernstuff.
There's also the lesbianhistory of using keys as their
way of flagging.
(04:49):
So wearing a set of keys or akey ring on the left or right
side is similar to the flag inthe left pocket, or the right
back pocket, all right.
Christine (04:57):
So that is a revelation to me, because I know
, because you know there was atime in the you know 90s, early
20s, and all of a sudden youwould see, you know, women
having a key chain.
Shannon (05:07):
I am.
Christine (05:08):
I am.
I do not know that was a, Ijust thought it was utility.
What do you think all thosekeys are for?
I don't know Well.
Shannon (05:16):
I have a key chain.
Christine (05:18):
But I'm wondering now if I have to think twice now
where I hang my keys, becausewhen I'm wearing jeans and I
have two sets of keys, I'llthrow my key chain on the right
side.
So what does the right sidemean?
Shannon (05:30):
Uh, same thing as for meant for the gay male community
.
So left pocket is top rightpocket spot.
Christine (05:39):
Oh okay, so all right .
Shannon (05:40):
But also you're not a lesbian, so it would be weird
for you to pay any attention towhat your quote unquote signal
you're not signaling.
It's also not that widelyrecognized anymore, which again
we will get into what the moremodern signals are.
But it is funny that you saythat because I remember when I
was in like the preliminarystages of creeping around, read
it as like a young 19 year oldtrying to figure out my
(06:01):
sexuality, and I read thatwearing your belt to like one
side was also how much of thisis true, unclear.
But it was like if you wearyour belt slightly off center,
it's because you're gay.
And I was like, oh god, justconstantly read adjusting my
belt.
What if they know Like?
What if these people who barelyknow what being gay means,
(06:21):
somehow know that wearing yourbelt three inches to the right
means you're queer?
Christine (06:26):
So so it seems like even within the lgbtq community,
some of that signaling andflagging is not entirely set in
stone and might be dependent onthe community that you're in,
even like a particular you knowregion of the country or
something like that, in terms ofwhat different you know codes
or signals mean.
Shannon (06:45):
Yeah, but I do think and I keep believing to this.
But there are modern quoteunquote modern signals like, for
example, uh, it's funny, thecarabiner is a real big one.
Like Like really, yeah, lesbianwomen wearing carabiners.
You're like, oh, which is funny, because when you put that
together with the history ofwearing the keys, it's like, oh,
you know, kind of, but it's,it's like the evolution of the
(07:05):
sort of the evolution, becauseit's a little bit more subtle.
But yeah, I mean, you can.
It's always the joke that, likewhenever you're at like a pride
fester, you're at like you knowa ticket and set our concert,
you have like eight millioncarabiners present.
It's ridiculous.
And again, what are youcarabining?
Christine (07:22):
Unclear.
Okay, so there's something thatI'm learning again.
I thought you know.
Okay, so a carabiner can beused as a key chain, so I just
assumed once again utility, butit is actually a signal of being
part of the LGBTQ community orspecifically like the lesbian
community, specifically lesbians.
Shannon (07:39):
Yeah, actually Shay, who's one of the editors on this
show.
She and I run Queers and Beersin Rhode Island and we've talked
many times about getting Queersand Beers branded carabiners
because we're like, I mean, thecommunity wants it, we know they
want it, so stay tuned for that.
Maybe we'll do it for a sexidea, but I'm just really up the
(07:59):
number of carabiners in theProvidence population.
So carabiners are a big one.
And then unofficially but itfeels pretty official Doc
Martens oh okay, it's like a bigone.
You know, if you got a pair ofDocs, you're probably not a one
on the Kinsey scale.
Christine (08:16):
There's somewhere else on the spectrum.
That's good to know.
That's a big one.
Shannon (08:19):
Um, I mean, we've talked about it too on the show
and we've joked about it, butlike it does get harder when non
queer folks start doing thingslike wearing docks and flannel
at the same time and you're likebut I think, I think you, I
think you, I think you got thecarabiner down.
Yeah, we'll take the carabiner.
Take the carabiner, that's forus.
Christine (08:40):
I also saw when I was looking around Tiktok.
Apparently fingernails colorsare a thing, but I don't know if
that's necessarily.
I don't think it's a signalnecessarily of Straight and
LGBTQ.
It's kind of more of a I'mavailable or I'm not available?
Shannon (08:56):
I don't know, because I truly do not see anything on
tiktok because I avoid it likethe plague as the elder
millennial Good elder millennialthat I am, but I do know that
there is a history of nailpolish for the LGBTQ community.
Two different colored nailsgenerally indicates Luscious or
at least queer, some degree ofqueer, but so, like I think what
(09:18):
you're referring to on tiktokis the Certain colors indicate
like you're spoken for, taken,and then a different color means
you're single and ready tomingle and whatever, but that's
like.
All your nails are that colorversus flagging.
I polish in the queer communitywould be like your middle finger
and your ring finger twodifferent colors and that's like
the flag I.
Christine (09:37):
I also heard of the ace ring for the asexual
community, which is a black ringworn on the right middle finger
.
So that would that would signalto other people in the
community that that is theirorientation.
Shannon (09:49):
Yeah, not to be confused with the pair ring that
we talked about in this modernday.
Which could get very confusing,like are you very much
available or very much notinterested?
Christine (09:57):
It's like this is the black part that makes it
signaling pairings pretty close.
Shannon (10:04):
Yeah, the the nail polish for a single and taken
and whatever.
Also reminds me of likeStoplight parties.
Have you heard of a stoplightparty?
Christine (10:12):
I believe you educated me.
I think at one of our Firesidegatherings, you and Shay
educated me what a stoplightparty.
Shannon (10:20):
Well, so like.
Green means you're available,yellow means you're like, you
know, maybe available, kind ofjust test in the water is then
green, green or red means you'retaken stop lights.
So even even outside of thetraditional scope of LGBTQ
flagging, to your point, thereis also just relationship
flagging.
Christine (10:36):
Okay, so I went digging into some Reddit
searches myself.
Shannon (10:42):
How dare you know where it's mine.
Christine (10:45):
You know that, but I had you know so in the so not
necessarily LGBTQ community, butin the polyamorous committee,
there's the whole thing of theupside-down pineapple.
That signals that you're open.
Swingers, lifestyle swinger,sound so kind of it.
It sounds a little like 1970s,that is what people associate
the upside-down pineapple well,apparently, in the Adult, senior
(11:09):
adult community in Florida, thevillages, as you may have heard
, can get a little wild andcrazy.
Well, they've taken theupside-down pineapple to a new
level and they have actuallythose Lufas that they hang on
their cars.
That are different colors.
Lufas like from the bathtub,yes, like to hang on your car,
(11:29):
and so wait, so check this out.
White means you're a beginner,sure.
Black means you want it all.
Great, I got a spectrumunderstood, but teal is for
bisexual, purple are people wholike to watch, pink is a soft
swap and blue is plays well withothers and yellow is open but
nervous.
Do you think that?
Shannon (11:50):
the like.
The big people in the Lufaindustry are like what is
happening?
Why has there been a resurgencein Lufa sales?
Well, and also specifically inFlorida.
Well, to the bottom of.
Christine (12:01):
First of all, remember the villages is huge.
It's like literally tens ofthousands of communities,
although I did see a counterbeing like well, it's not really
to signal anything.
It's because people in thevillages don't know which car is
there, so they use it to walk.
Shannon (12:17):
Yeah that sounds like a bagel Sis internalized
situation.
I think we all know exactlywhat it's for.
Christine (12:25):
So I think the truth is probably somewhere in the
middle.
Shannon (12:27):
I suspect that there is some coding going on, because
there's a lot of they better getthe system sorted, because if
you're just trying to find yourcar with a what is it?
Hmm, with a black likes towatch, someone knocks on your
window hey, what's up?
Saw you're into.
I was just trying to find myHonda man.
Christine (12:46):
It would be Honda Civic, probably in that
community yeah, let's savor.
But it is true that there issome signaling in Polyamorous
and open communities, and someof it will be necklaces or
bracelets and they try to colorcode as well as to make Sure
that people know where everyonestands on that spectrum, because
, much like the Kinsey scale isa spectrum, so is the spectrum
(13:07):
of open relationships as well.
Shannon (13:09):
Yeah.
So I think you know the nicething if you want to come out of
this episode with a like oh,that's good is the reason a lot
of flagging and signaling andsort of traditional ways of
indicating sexual preferencehave gone away is because there
are more avenues now to justactually be open about your
preferences, whether that ismore normalized conversations
(13:29):
about sexual preference andsexual orientation, or it's the
abundance of apps, like wetalked about on the dating
episode a couple weeks ago,grindr has made it very easy to
say exactly what you like as agay man, rather than having to
go through the Pantone colorbooklet from 2023 every time you
want to have sex.
So it is good that that's sortof moved in that direction, and
(13:50):
maybe someday we'll reclaim thepineapple and it'll just get to
be a really delicious fruit oncemore.
Christine (13:57):
Just keep it right side up and cut it up and eat it
and put it in your pina coladaand you'll be fine.
It's really good for you.
Shannon (14:02):
It's really nice, but yeah.
So always good to revisit thehistory a little bit and always
good to talk about how it's beenmodernized, but again, it's a
good indicator that we've beenable to move away as a society
from always having to be subtleand actually being able to have
open conversations and becomfortable expressing to the
world our likes, dislikes andwhat we're into, man.
Christine (14:24):
That sounds great, and if you want to wear colors,
go right ahead.
Shannon (14:28):
Yeah, just be careful not to string the wrong loofah
up to your car.
Christine (14:32):
Good advice for anyone out there, anyone at all.
Shannon (14:36):
So that's a wrap on this week's study session.
Keep sending us the subjectsand questions you'd like us to
cover and we will get anotherfull episode coming your way on
Sex Ed Debunked next week.
Take care everyone.
Bye now.
Christine (14:55):
Sex Ed Debunked is produced by Trailblaze Media in
Providence, rhode Island.
Our sound producer is EzraWinters, with production
assistance from Shea WineDrunker.
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