December 20, 2024 • 42 mins
So many men get it wrong in the bedroom... Trying to be nice... Unsure of how to take the lead... And even ashamed of their own desire... If you've ever felt these ways, you’re not alone (and I have to regularly work on this too). In this episode, Layla Martin and I dive deep into how you can sexually unleash your primal masculine energy - in a way that’s bold, conscious, attuned, and deeply sexy.
🔴 🎥 You can also watch this episode on Youtube.
In this episode you'll discover why women crave a man’s powerful presence - one that combines focus, strength, desire, the ability to ravish with care... And you'll discover how to embody it in a way that transforms your sexual relationships and ignites desire.
You'll also learn a transformative practice Layla calls “fuck and kill to consciousness,” which will probably be really confronting for you - in a good way... It's an exercise to help you integrate your raw, primal instincts and channel them into connection, confidence, sexual pleasure and leadership in the bedroom.
This episode is your invitation to stop holding back, to own your power unapologetically, and show up as the man you’re truly capable of being — magnetic, present, powerful and unforgettable. Join us!
❤️🔥 CONNECT WITH LAYLA:
🔸 The Tantric Mastermind for Couples (Upcoming in 2025)
🔸 Layla’s Youtube Channel
🔸 Layla’s Podcast "This Tantric Life"
🔸 Layla’s Instagram
🔱 CONNECT WITH TAYLOR:
🔸 The Orgasmic Mastery Course (February 2025)
🔸 Taylor’s Youtube Channel
🔸 Taylor’s Podcast "Sex Upgraded"
🔸 Taylor’s Website
#sexualleadership #menshealth #personalgrowth
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Layla Martin (00:00):
then, to receive pleasure from that, to have
orgasms for the man who'spresent inside of his cock and
his heart and he, like, knowshis sexual power, he knows his
worth and he's present.
It's literally like, wow, like,truly, it's like the best drug
I've ever taken.
Taylor Johnson (00:19):
Welcome back to part two of my interview with
Layla Martin on the Sex UpgradedPodcast.
Thank you for being here.
My name is Taylor, I'll be yourhost for this episode and today
I'm joined by Layla Martin, who, in my opinion, is one of the
best teachers in the realms ofsacred sexuality, tantric
sexuality and overall justsexual health and vibrance and
wellness in general.
It's a treat today's episodeand I'm so glad you're here.
(00:42):
This is part two, so if youwant an introduction to Layla,
that's in part one, and in partone we also did a look at one of
the main areas men get stuckwhen they're trying to improve
their sex lives.
In this part two we're going toexplore some taboo and edgy
stuff around male sexuality andwhy the world and relationships
actually need this and want this, and why it's so hard for men
(01:06):
to feel like we can actually doit, myself included.
I'm still working on the thingsthat we're talking about today
as well.
So we're in this together andthere are some really beautiful
words that Layla says to men ingeneral that if you're a man
listening could feel so just atleast I'll speak for myself felt
so nourishing to hear from awoman who's done a lot of work
in this realm, so I'm so excitedto get into it today.
(01:27):
Thank you for being here andwithout further ado, let's get
into part two.
I'm curious to talk about thestate of men, which people hear
that sentence and they're like,oh shit.
Layla Martin (01:42):
I'm a wild feminist and I'm angry and I'm
coming for you.
Taylor Johnson (01:46):
Yeah, but you at the Aristertree, like you
started with this reallybeautiful, uh kind of reverent
welcome to men.
That I was just like wow,that's fucking awesome.
And I'm wondering like how,what do you appreciate about men
?
How do you feel about men ingeneral?
Is that even a yeah?
Layla Martin (02:07):
men?
How do you feel about men ingeneral?
Is that even yeah, yeah, thankyou?
No, I would love to share aboutthat.
So, first of all, let mequalify the joke I just made,
which is like, originally, whenI started doing this work and
everyone was like those angryfeminists they're so angry and
then I was like, okay, like,let's take a step back here,
because, like, let's just saytheoretically that you like took
all the economic, social andpolitical power from a class of
people for like, let's take astep back here, because, like,
let's just say theoreticallythat you like took all the
(02:28):
economic, social and politicalpower from a class of people for
like, let's say like a fewthousand years, and then taught
them to hate and shamethemselves and sexually repress
themselves and made their normalfunctioning like having a
menstrual cycle, something thateveryone should be like, really
scared of and ashamed of, andmedicalize their body and all of
that, and didn't even let themhave a checking account and like
allowed rape culture toperpetuate.
Like and like.
(02:49):
When you had a moment of likelooking around and being like,
oh shit, would you not be angryfor?
Like, like, there's like amoment for some rage, and to me,
this is what's happening inculture in these little moments
is people are really waking upto the toxicity and like the
fucked upness of what happenedand being like holy shit, like
that was horrible, like I'mpissed off, like that wasn't
(03:11):
cool, right, like I still when Itap into it and I'm like I grew
up watching clueless of likeyou have to be that skinny and
that dumb and that vapid for anyman to like you.
Like, if that doesn't fill mewith a little rage sometimes,
then like I'm not payingattention Totally and I give
women a ton of credit that, likemost women that I know, and
especially women doing the work,are like well, that sucks water
(03:35):
under the bridge.
Like how do we make it better?
Right, like like how do weactually build a better world, a
better society, a morebeautiful world?
And so when I look out at that,that's what I see is a number
of people who are like holy shit, that sucked, okay, what's next
?
How do we do this?
And so I can't judge anyone forhaving their moment of anger.
(03:55):
I think that's so essential forreestablishing power and
boundaries and beyond that, it'slike anyone who's really doing
the work.
The anger's a phase and thenyour heart opens and unlocks.
And when my heart opened all theway and I really started
listening to men, I justrealized how much they've been
(04:21):
through.
And a really big moment for mewith men was I uncoupled from an
eight and a half yearpartnership and I started dating
again and like I, you know,just literally ego chip on my
shoulder.
You know, like I was like doyou think, nba players and
Grammy award-winning musiciansand like whatever, like the
reason I say this is and likeyou know, titans of business.
(04:44):
And the reason I say this isbecause I would have expected in
our culture that those menwould feel worthy, right Like,
handsome, capable, accomplishedand what I was seeing.
Because I had stopped, I haddone enough healing work on
myself that I wasn't just usingthem as a token to prove
something about myself.
There was still some layersthere, but I actually wanted to
(05:06):
know them and universally,during that year of dating, it
struck me how even the mostprivileged men among us were
struggling so hard withworthiness.
They were doubting themselves,they were hating themselves,
they were having such a hardtime with the feminine, with
women.
They were questioning theirpath, they were confused in
(05:29):
their spirituality, they werelost in their bodies, Like, and
I was like, oh shit, Like I justspent 15 years working with
women.
I worked with men before that,but I really focused on women
for a long time and I really gotinto this world of seeing
women's pain on this planet.
And when I really focused onwomen for a long time and I
really got into this world ofseeing women's pain on this
planet, and when I really openedmy eyes, I was like, oh shit,
(05:49):
Like the men are in so much painand they just they don't.
I think what's harder for men isthat at least as women were
like well, that was a shittybargain.
Like I was in that much painand like and I like couldn't
fucking have have any money, orlike get divorced or whatever,
and like or like report hersexual harassment.
(06:11):
So like, fuck this Right, we'relike.
I like that didn't work for me,I'm out of here.
But a lot of men still subtlybelieve that the system is
working for them, and so they'reactually still fighting for a
system that's been just as toxicfor them as it is for women.
So the way that I see men isdivine, fucking warriors.
And I don't mean a divinewarrior like a perfect man, I
(06:32):
mean a divine warrior with allyour sensitivity, with the times
that you've cried and failedand like not been able to get
off the floor, the moments thatyou feel yourself in your
relationship, with all of youraddictions and lazy behaviors,
Like I mean including that menare warriors and Kings and gods.
And when I have seen men embodythat through breath, work,
(06:56):
through sacred sexuality,practices like touch that inside
of themselves, the whole roomgoes electric.
So there's a specific vibrationthat happens when the women get
lit and there's a, there's afrequency when the men return to
their true, God-given universe,given biology, given power,
(07:16):
however you want to think of.
It makes my hair stand on endand one of the things that it
made me see was that men haveactually lost their true power
even more than women, but wedon't see it because they have
the appearance of power andculture, but they don't have
that true power, the spiritualpower like the spine of power,
(07:39):
like the values that give youpower, your open heart, your
cock and your testicles and yourmystical center all aligned,
kind of power, and it's justgetting worse.
And so when I first welcomedmen into the retreat, I do it
from A an acknowledgement thatmen feel really unseen right now
(08:00):
in society and really judgedand really criticized.
And B, it's kind of scary whenyou've had a certain kind of
power and it feels like eventhat's getting taken away and
see a distrust of women thatthey're, they're against them or
they don't see them or theyjudge them, and so for me it's
really important to acknowledgethem but also let them know like
I am as devoted to you as I amto the feminine and in fact
(08:23):
right now I think on this planetthe true masculine is even more
rare.
Like if I was going to be indeepest service to this planet
right now, I would serve menbecause I feel like they are
hurting more and not in like aoh, poor victims.
I need to save them, in a kindof like I see what the fuck you
are and I want you to live thislife in your full power in any
(08:44):
way that I can be a guardian anda support on your journey, in
that Like I'm here for that andI love that there's more and
more leaders of men like you,Taylor, who, like, really hold
this mantle of like.
One of the things I was sotouched by in the retreat is how
authentically you lead and howvulnerably you share from,
(09:04):
because it's like this exquisiteportrait of what a man can be,
but without any of the bullshitof like oh, it's got to be this.
And this fronting and thispretending it's like, it's so
real.
It includes your teenageawkwardness, it includes the
doubts that you still have, andit also includes building a
really successful business andhaving the dopest partner and
(09:25):
like.
All of that.
You know it's, it's all of it.
So that's how I feel about them.
Taylor Johnson (09:34):
Cheers to that, cheers, yeah, and thank you for
that reflection, you know, andas somebody who leads people
like, well, first, as a studentof different people throughout
time, I have really appreciatedwhen people who are leading me
through things are transparentand authentic and vulnerable
about what's going on for them,cause I'm like, oh, you're human
(09:56):
, great, now I can learn fromyou.
You're not up here on thispedestal Like your shit stinks
too, you know.
So, yeah, I try to.
I try to do that.
It's important to me and itfeels good.
And and you said, you said apiece around there's this like
really powerful kind of primalenergy that can happen for men
when they stand in their truepower.
And you mentioned heart and cockand balls and spiritual
(10:19):
openness, all connected at thesame time.
And that kind of dovetails withthe question like what have you
seen lacking, you know, and itsounds kind of like that.
And what have women said thatthey've been lacking from men?
And also, when I've looked atyour course for men, like one of
the pieces you have in there inthe beginning is this exercise
(10:40):
called the fuck kill, you know.
And I'm like, all right, let'stalk about that, cause I also
heard you speak to it and in apodcast recently with Om Rupani,
there's this sort of like edge,right, there's a we'll call it
a masculine edge of that's likethis really kind of fierce, yet
attuned um state ofconsciousness that can feel
(11:02):
really enlivening for women, youknow, and for the world
ultimately.
But I'd love for you to justspeak a little bit about that.
What, what is this fuck killthing and why?
Layla Martin (11:14):
Well, it's fuck, kill to consciousness.
And it's a really cool practiceand it does.
It encapsulates this teaching.
Hold on, I'm really cravingsitting with my legs crossed and
not knocking a vase of flowersover.
So if you are not watching on,I'm really craving sitting with
my legs crossed and not knockingan invasive flowers over.
So if you are not watchingvisually, I'm just rearranging
my body right now.
Okay, okay.
So in fuck, kill theconsciousness.
(11:36):
This is a practice that Iinnovated for men because I was
like wait, what is this corething that men are repressing,
that their female partners arehungering for and that they're
even hungering for in themselves?
And what I thought about wasthese two forces of masculine
impulse right, one is to kill.
Every man has the capacity tokill.
(11:57):
Every human does.
But in men, that capacity tokill, it can be the shadowiest
of shadow, right, it can be likethe darkest of dark, but it can
also be the highest service ofshadow.
Right, it can be like thedarkest of dark, but it can also
be the highest service, like,if you're defending your child,
you're defending your wife,you're defending your family,
right, then it is the highesthonor, that capacity to kill.
(12:18):
And that capacity to killcreates a deep sense of safety
in the feminine.
Like we are designedbiologically to be protected,
like we're also badasses and wecan also go out there and, like
do our own thing.
And when I'm eight monthspregnant, I need warriors to
protect me.
And so, in that feeling, thisessence of kill in a man is so
(12:42):
erotic, it's so important, andfor a man to feel that in
himself.
But what's happened is thatit's become divorced and there's
all this shame on it and allthis self-judgment and all this
fear of that primal impulse.
So, in fact, kill theconsciousness.
You have a, you have a pillowthat you're sitting on and you
turn to your left and you likekill the pillow, like you give
it your kill instinct, likeyou're punching it, you're
(13:04):
screaming, you're stabbing it,you're stomping on it, like
whatever that instinct to killis, and you do that just full
out or like no control.
Then you go back to the pillowand you meditate and you use
this kill instinct, but you'remeditating, you're like, fully
present.
And then you do another roundwhere you open your heart and
your kill instinct comes fromyour heart.
(13:26):
And while that sounds so strangeto us, I got really into these,
like old warrior epics.
I talk about this in arrows too.
I'm like a mega nerd, if youhaven't picked up on it yet.
So I've been reading.
I read the Iliad and then Iread Gilgamesh and these are
like these ancient heroic epicsof male warriors different
(13:50):
heroic epics of male warriorsand in this men are like
chiseled and they're warriorsand they're killing and they're
poets and they are filled withlove for their cultures and
their gods and their familiesand they're also human.
But there's like this warriorspirit that has love in it and
to me that's what every manwants to know in himself is I
will never misuse my instinct tokill.
(14:11):
I will not take out my rage onpeople that I love, but I would
absolutely kill to defend myfamily and I would do that from
my presence, right, and thatinstinct as well, like women
feeling that in you is so hot,like a man who's like unstable
and his kill instinct isterrifying, and that instinct as
well.
Like women feeling that in youis so hot.
Like a man who's like unstableand his kill instinct is
terrifying and we're like, whoa,stay away from there.
But a man who's got his killinstinct as he walks down the
(14:32):
street when he's present with it.
It's like so sexy, so it's liketake these power instincts but
merge them with meditation andmerge them with love.
It's the same thing with fuck,right, fuck also has one of the
deepest shadows, and any womanwho's ever been fucked by a man
who doesn't have hisconsciousness and his heart in
it is like that's horrifying,like it's literally horrifying.
(14:55):
You feel like you're beingmasturbated into.
You feel like this object,right.
And so a lot of men have beenlike okay, well, no one wants my
fuck, or my fuck is bad, or myfuck could be a rapist or it
could hurt someone, right.
And so there men are walkingaround right now, disconnected
from kill, but they're alsodisconnecting from fuck.
And so in that same meditation,in that same process, it's like
(15:17):
meditate and then give yourfuck and then open your heart
and then give your fuck.
And so this disconnection ifI'm not present and my heart's
not in it, these impulses in mengive us some of the greatest
shadows on the planet.
But as soon as a man is presentand opens his heart, then your
fuck is the greatest gift.
(15:37):
Because I know women, I knowmyself, and we all want to be
consensually fucked by a man whoknows his killer instinct and
is in touch with his primalsexual power and has his heart
open and knows how to be presentwith all of it.
And that's, to me, where menrestore their power, because I
feel like they've started tofeel okay in society by
(16:00):
disconnecting themselves fromthese primal forces, rather than
truly re-empowering by usingmeditation in their heart.
Taylor Johnson (16:07):
Yeah, yeah.
I think this is one of thebiggest things in the realm of
sex and intimacy between men andwomen right now, because I hear
all these women who are sayinglike I just want to be ravished,
I want to be taken, I want tobe held and like done all these
things too.
And then, at the same time, Ihear all these men saying like I
(16:29):
don't want to be the man who'swho's hurting the woman with my
sexual desires.
Like I don't want to be toooverbearing, I don't want to
like I have fear around beingtoo much.
You know my desire.
Being too much or being likethe bad man or something like
that is pervasive.
It's pervasive right now.
It's wild.
Layla Martin (16:42):
So Well, I understand why that would be
confusing, because pretty muchevery woman, without exception,
right Like I, had horrificexperiences.
But even beyond that, like wehave all met a man who has used
his sexuality in a negative orabusive or just harmful way.
(17:05):
Like as a young spiritualpractitioner, I didn't have a
single male teacher for 15 yearswho didn't try to fuck me and
like not in, like a cool, likethis is special or in love kind
of way, like uh, this is like myright to do kind of way.
And so there is this likefeminine contraction around the
(17:33):
male expression of rage oraround the male expression of
fuck, because we've experiencedit so much disconnected and I
think one of the great mysteriesof life is that we crave it
when it is connected.
I think for men to reallyunderstand that is really
important and also that womenhave to do our healing.
(17:54):
We have.
I had to let go of my painaround the masculine.
I had to do rituals around allmy daddy issues.
I had to let go of all of mydisappointments from the past.
I had to let my pain body go sothat I could let a man be a man
, because as long as I was in somuch pain from my father, from
(18:15):
my upbringing, from early badexperiences with boys or men,
because I was hurting so much Icouldn't see the man in front of
me and I just did a podcastwith my beloved Bobak and he
said like thank you, lila, forall of the work you did before
you met me.
Like I went into a darknessretreat and I worked out my pain
(18:36):
with every man in my life,starting with my father, up into
the most recent man I dated andI went through it ceremonially
until I got to forgiveness andthen until I got to gratitude,
because I was like the next manI meet, I want to be able to see
him and I want to be able tohonor him and I don't want to do
to him what I did to previouspartners, which is I saw them
(18:58):
through the lens of my own painand I still see my beloved
through the lens of my own pain,but far, far less than I ever,
ever did before.
And I think, as women, if yousay you want a warrior and a man
and his power, you'll stillhave to deal with the fact that
you can't fucking push themaround and like it's the same
with me, like I'm a queengoddess, and like my beloved is
(19:19):
always like can't, cannot pushyou around, not the, not the way
I used to.
Cannot outrun, you Cannotoutsmart, you Cannot tell you
what to do, because I stand inmy fierce power.
But the thing is now.
So does he right, like I haveto want to be with someone
inhabiting his warrior king?
And you know he still dealswith his own stuff and is in his
(19:41):
own process, like he's not likehe's perfect, but in his power.
Right, it's a differentcalculus.
I can't emasculate him.
I don't even want to.
I can't tell him what to do,nor would I want to.
I can give him my truth and mydiscernment, but I let him be
free and that and I don't meanlike sexually free, like we have
a strong container and strongagreements, but I let him be
(20:01):
free and that and I don't meanlike sexually free, like we have
a strong container and strongagreements, but I let him be
free to be himself.
And I was not raised in the artof letting a man to be himself.
I was raised in the art oftelling a man what to do.
And especially tell a man whatto do If you feel in any way
like upset, make him change hisbehavior.
Like upset, make him change hisbehavior.
(20:22):
And I really had to learn theart of let a man be so that you
can have great polarity and bothbeing your power.
Taylor Johnson (20:30):
Yeah, hmm, hmm.
Yeah, there's a piece around.
What I've seen and what I'veexperienced too, is that men and
women I'll speak for men for asecond like we can, we can
become very siloed in our, inour own worlds, you know, and
have this like othering or likeagainst women, or like, oh,
(20:54):
women don't understand us, theydon't know what the pain is.
And then I see on the other sidethere's like, oh well, men
don't understand us, we don'tknow what the pain is.
And I want to be like, hey,we're all actually experiencing
problems, we're all actuallyexperiencing pain.
And there's like it's a usefulempathy to be able to understand
that.
And like a piece, you said, no,you didn't have a male teacher
for 15 years that didn't try tofuck you Like damn, like I'm
(21:25):
sorry, and that's a big deal,you know, and of course that
would leave an imprint and ofcourse that would impact all the
interactions you have with menup until you do, you know, work
around that to shift some things.
And so I think a little bit ofempathy, going across the aisle
both ways is like a reallybeautiful and necessary part of
the growthful experience andunderstanding that we all have,
all have work to do.
Layla Martin (21:40):
Yeah, I think one of the things that I got to put
myself, I think, puttingyourself in someone else's shoes
.
It sounds so simple and it.
I think I was in my latethirties before I learned how to
do it.
Um and like, I put myself inmen's shoes and I was like, oh,
to be a part of the patriarchalsystem, you had to dehumanize a
(22:03):
lot of people.
Like to participate indehumanizing capitalism or the
economic, political and socialdisempowerment of people based
on, like, their race or theirgender or their sexual
orientation.
Like to dehumanize anyone elseand justify taking away their
resources, you have todehumanize yourself first, and
what I saw was this massdehumanization of men, like
(22:28):
almost a brainwashing that leftthem so disconnected, when the
vast majority of men are goodhumans who are actually like,
beautiful and magical andspiritual beyond belief, and to
have to be in such a toxicsystem was so deeply toxic.
(22:48):
And so when I say patriarchy, Isay it with just a tremendous
compassion for what that did toeveryone and that makes me
understand that, like, thefuture that I see is just
everyone being in their powerand their connection and their
leadership, and that shouldn'tbe too much to ask, because I do
(23:10):
think that is the way thatwe're made, and I don't think
men sometimes put theirthemselves in the shoes of women
enough to be like.
What would it feel like to walkaround the world feeling
physically unsafe as much as youdo?
What would it have felt likethat?
Like my own mother couldn't geta checking account.
(23:32):
My mom was like one of thefirst to go to college, right
Like to grow up and like there'sno men who can be CEOs or
presidents or leaders.
Men who can be CEOs orpresidents or leaders.
Like you know, if anyone isstill to this day like I, don't
think most men even understandwhat it's like if you experience
sexual assault, how horrificthe courts are, the way that the
(23:53):
police still treat women it's,it's abhorrent, it's disgusting
and it's news to most men Like Ifeel like most of us walk
around disconnected from whatit's like to be in the other
person's shoes, and that, to me,is what creates this deep, deep
, deep separation.
Taylor Johnson (24:10):
Yeah, yeah, well said.
And so, circling back around tothe joining in connection piece
, like we talked about this,this fuck kill consciousness and
how enjoyable it is for you andfor women to experience.
I'm wondering, from theperspective of somebody who
receives that from men, who hasreceived, you know, the, the
(24:34):
full spectrum, heart version ofthat, can you just like describe
that a little bit more?
Like what's it like to receivethat from a man?
How can you tell that that'shappening in a moment?
You know, like, what happensfor you?
Layla Martin (24:48):
like the same way that you can feel when someone's
really listening to you.
It's like they're there withyou, versus when someone's like
checked out or paying attentionto their phone, and you know
when someone's really listeningto you.
It makes you want to tell yourwhole story.
It makes you want to like shareyourself to me.
(25:12):
It's the same thing sexually,like when someone's in their
head or they're checked out orthey're fantasizing.
It's like I don't want to sharemyself, like I don't even
really want to be here becauseyou don't really want to be here
.
And that same way that you canfeel that in a conversation, you
can feel that during sex, whena man shows up, that power of
(25:37):
your presence is like holy shit.
It's like.
It's like that feeling of itbeing like Christmas and New
Year's all at the same time andyou're going to get like all of
the best gifts.
It literally feels like a giftto open your heart into that, to
sell, be celebrated and adoredfrom that place.
Again, it's like wow, wow, wow.
(26:01):
Like men, I want you to knowwhat a gift you are.
And like what that feels likeThen to receive pleasure from
that, to have orgasms for theman who's present inside of his
cock and his heart and he like,knows his sexual power, he knows
his worth and he's present.
It's literally like wow, liketruly, it's like the best drug
(26:25):
I've ever taken doesn't compareto being on the ride of a
present man that I love in hisheart and in his fuck and in his
power his power is better thanany drug.
That's literally what it feelslike.
That level of ecstasy, thatlevel of gratitude, that level
of magic.
(26:46):
To be able to share that withsomeone else, even just once, I
feel like, makes it all worth.
It makes this whole life worthit.
So, men, like when you're doingthese practices, when you're
coming home to yourself, whenyou're finding your power, just
know what a gift you become toeveryone in your life, but
especially your beloved.
Taylor Johnson (27:08):
Yeah, let's, let's take another breath to
that.
Yeah, and not a gift from thisego place of like, oh, I'm a
gift to you, but like trulybeing this yeah, I don't even
know if I need to put words toit Like you just said it so
(27:29):
beautifully Like you, you justexisting in that space as a man
is is a gift.
Layla Martin (27:34):
Yeah, it's like the sunshine.
Taylor Johnson (27:38):
And it sounds like you didn't say these words,
but it sounds like you mightsay it's something you could
relax into or feel held by.
Would you say so?
Layla Martin (27:47):
Yeah, yeah, and that's some of my greatest work.
My nervous system is still likenope.
But, yes, to be in thosemoments where my nervous system
(28:13):
feels safe and I feel held inthat way by my beloved, it feels
so incredibly good and good theway that human life is meant to
feel good.
Taylor Johnson (28:17):
Yeah, there's this word that I've been hearing
a lot of this year, year and ahalf or so, and you talked about
it in your podcast with OM aswell but containment and that
world seems really appropriatehere.
You know, I'm wondering if youcould just, in your words, speak
to what that, what that is.
Layla Martin (28:40):
It's an energetic holding and the way that Om
Rapani talks about it that Ithink is very helpful is to feel
it like being a mountain Right,like you're not going to fuck
with a mountain's peace orpresence, and you can feel that
in someone.
And when a woman feels that ina man, like I'm here and I'm
(29:02):
spacious, and I think thebiggest piece of containment
that we don't often get is thatcontainment has a coolness to it
.
So like my beloved was trainedas a surgeon and an
anesthesiologist.
So when you're treating a childmedically right, you're not
like, oh my god, the child's notokay.
(29:22):
And like you know, should we dosomething, should we move in
here or anything Right, it'slike I fucking got this Right
and you are present and you arecalm and collected and slow.
So the biggest mistake if youwant to call it that or maybe
misunderstanding is a betterword that men have around
pleasing the feminineenergetically or sexually is
(29:44):
like I got to do this or no,maybe I should do that or I
should try this thing, or Ithink she likes this, let me try
something else.
It's going to feel better, orlike speed up or whatever,
whereas actually like one of thegreat secrets of the clitoris
right Is like when a womanstarts feeling an increase in
pleasure, usually don't changeyour pressure or speed, you just
keep going right.
(30:05):
That's a kind of containment interms of I'm attuned to you and
I'm bigger, my field is biggerthan whatever you could bring to
me energetically, sexually,emotionally.
What that does is it allows youto feel like you can relax into
this space, like I've got youand I don't have you like, oh,
(30:29):
my god, is everything okay?
Have I solved every problem?
Have I crossed every t?
Have it done every I?
It's like a spaciousness that'sso big and the two biggest ways
that men can cultivate that.
Number one is meditation.
And number two do hard thingsevery day, whether it's lifting
weights, whether it's surfing,whether it's hiking out in the
(30:49):
mountains, whether it's doing anice bath.
When you do hard things, youhave to contain your own fear,
right, like when you do hardthings, it's not that you never
feel fear, it's that you'rebigger than your fear.
And that's what containmentfeels like to a woman.
It's like, oh, he's bigger thanmy petty grape right now, or
he's bigger than my currentclosure, he's bigger than my
(31:10):
tears.
And when you have that feeling,it's like, oh, that that's how
you can rest inside of it andthat's far sexier.
Om Rupani really taught me thisand I find it to be extremely
true.
That feeling is far sexier tothe feminine than like a
mothering feeling of like, oh,are you okay?
And like, let me make you tea.
And like, oh, that's beautifulsometimes Cause, like everybody
(31:32):
feels loved by that.
But, like my partner, making metea doesn't make me want to
have an orgasm.
But him, like, standing in hiswarrior power, with this kind of
coolness of like you couldbring me absolutely everything
and I would just stay here withit Like that's hot.
Taylor Johnson (31:49):
I bet you there's a way he could make you
tea that would make you want toorgasm.
Practice, practice thecombining of those things.
Yeah, so for the sake ofnerding, ner nerding out on this
, it's like there's the fuckkill consciousness that you
could then bring to your partnerin sex, and then the act and
(32:09):
the choice of placing yourawareness on your partner while
embodying that level ofconsciousness and feeling like
that is the, the piece aroundcontainment.
There's like a care, butthere's also an equanimity with
that.
Layla Martin (32:22):
Yes, yeah, when I'm inhabiting containment with
people that I'm working with,it's literally like nothing you
could do could disrupt mynervous system, and this is the
thing I've had to train thatRight.
So people can literally screamat me now, and not from a place
of dissociation.
Scream at me now and not from aplace of dissociation.
(32:45):
It's just my sense of safetyand the bigness of the moment
and the trust of the moment isso much bigger than whatever
they're experiencing that it'slike it doesn't disrupt me.
And I'm not saying it's like ahundred percent, but I'm pretty
unshakable and that is thisfeeling of like whatever you
bring to me shakable, and thatis this feeling of like whatever
you bring to me, it's okay,right.
And there there's a spirituallevel of trust, there there's a
(33:06):
training that's in there.
There is, um, there's almostlike a compassion in there too.
That's like built in, which islike, if you start screaming at
me as a teacher now, like you'rein pain, like you're, you're in
pain, right, and so like itkeeps me out of any story about
any one person and like, asquickly as possible, I get to
(33:31):
understanding.
And so that's why containment,even though it's like this
simple sounding word, it's awhole bunch of interlocking
skills that actually include theability to feel someone and to
almost feel them deeper thanthey're currently feeling
themselves, which is somethingthat you train, and I think
(33:51):
that's actually something that alot of men are missing because
they got conditioned todissociate from themselves.
So there's a certain level ofdecision.
Taylor Johnson (33:59):
Yeah, totally.
Layla Martin (34:01):
As opposed to like I'm feeling you deeper than
you're feeling yourself rightnow.
That's how you offer someonethe gift of giving them the
desire that they don't even yetknow they have too.
Taylor Johnson (34:11):
Like it's not like you always have to be in
that space holder role.
Like for me, it's nice to layback and receive a blow job
sometimes, you know, like that'sa beautiful part of the
experience too, and I might nothave to hold that same level of
acute awareness.
And I just know there might besome people listening who are
thinking like, oh, I've got todo that all the time, constantly
(34:33):
in sex for it to be good fromnow on.
I'm like no, but it's a flavorof the experience that you could
choose to step into sometimes.
Layla Martin (34:41):
Totally, and it's so important for I know you're a
big proponent of this as a manto like lay back and receive
sometimes.
Taylor Johnson (34:48):
Yeah, I like that.
I recognize there are peopleout there who might not like
that as much, but I think it's abeautiful gift and honestly,
like actually for me when Ithink about some of the things
that have been most helpful inmy own journey with sex, like
learning to receiveenergetically, physically, uh,
(35:08):
though, like that actuallyopened me up to the realm of
non-ejaculatory orgasms, andlike longer lasting sex.
And so there's like thiscircuit that can happen Right
and I'm like, oh wow, I can, Ican actually intake more, I can
breathe more and more energy canenter me, More pleasure can
enter me because I'm open toreceiving and through that act
I'm able to give more andexperience more.
That was a huge, huge lightbulb experience for me, Not just
(35:32):
trying to do, do, do, train,train, train.
But there was another switch toflip Totally the receiving
switch.
Layla Martin (35:39):
Totally, and I think that can be the danger of
too much polarity teachings ortoo much gendered stuff.
Some of my greatest sexualgifts and magnetism as a woman
is from the power of mymeditation.
I had this crazy tantric guruin the jungle.
He used to make us do poseslike, basically until we would
fall over, so that you would,you know, make peace with your
(36:01):
pain.
And I did the longest out ofany man any woman has.
Like I will meet the center ofmy pain right, which was a
tantric meditation.
Go to the Vignan Bhairav Tantra, go to the center of your pain
and be still right.
And so sometimes I think womenunderestimate the power of these
(36:25):
kinds of trainings, because tosurrender you have to feel so
safe with yourself, you have toknow what you're capable of
right.
And so training yourself intopower is so huge and for so many
men to know, like the bliss ofKundalini Ma, the goddess
(36:46):
herself, like riding throughyour body right, or what it
feels like to receive the depthof love and beauty in your heart
, right.
This allows you to have theseother qualities that I've been
talking about of empathy, orfeeling someone super deeply or
putting yourself in someoneelse's shoes.
So it's like I think we've alsogendered these like practices
sometimes.
But honestly, fucking part ofbeing a great human, a sexy
(37:06):
human, powerful human, is doingall of it.
Taylor Johnson (37:09):
For sure.
Yeah, you could show up withcontainment and fuck, kill
consciousness too, and that'swhat it is, with the right
person in the right context.
Like we could all hold thosedifferent energies.
Layla Martin (37:22):
Look, I love being a woman so much, it's like such
a cosmic gift, and I also, Iwould be a great man Nice.
Taylor Johnson (37:32):
So yeah, we're coming to the closing part of
the conversation.
I just want to ask you did wedid talk about the fuck kill,
it's a consciousness exercise?
But if there are men listeningright now who are thinking, oh,
about the fuck kill toconsciousness exercise, but if
there are men listening rightnow who are thinking, oh, I
really want to like dip my toesinto this or step into these
energies a little bit more.
Are there other practices orthings that you would recommend
for them to do, or to listen toor to study?
(37:53):
Like, what would you say tothose men?
Layla Martin (37:55):
Yeah, totally.
Um, I mean, I have lots of freeresources, some really great
YouTube videos of like men ingiant furry penis costumes, my
friend Parker, who's a musician,who fully consensually agreed
to do it with me teaching aboutmulti-orgasmic practices, things
like that, um.
But I think, cultivating as youteach as well any kind of
(38:16):
pleasure practice, any 10 to 15minutes once a week or several
times a week, where you practiceyour breath work, you practice
your energy circuits, youpractice the movement of energy
through your body, if you wantto do some of those deeper
psychological practices likefuck, kill.
The consciousness comes from mymen's sexual mastery training,
which is a seven module trainingwhere it's like, yeah, when men
(38:38):
do that program, sometimesthey're like, wait, I'm getting
you to have like conversationslike that, work out your shit
with your dad, cause I'm likeyou, like, truly, that is the
key to your multi-orgasmic poweris releasing some of this pain,
some of this trapped energy.
Um.
And then, if you want to workreally deeply with me and my
partner, we have a really coolprogram called the tantric
(39:00):
mastermind, which is a fourmonth container for couples to
experience all of this.
And we do live retreats in acastle in England, also in
Sedona and the really magicaldesert, and yeah, so you can
check any of those pieces out onmy website, which is
leilamartincom.
Taylor Johnson (39:17):
Awesome, yeah, that sounds great.
Thank you, and sounds like also.
We didn't explicitly say this,but perhaps if a man's wanting
to do some of thoseself-pleasure sessions, he could
bring in practice bringing inthe consciousness of fuck kill
to the pleasure session, rightLike, try to embody that while
while doing the pleasure.
Layla Martin (39:35):
Yeah, totally.
I mean, if you want, if youwant to bust out a little fuck,
kill to consciousness, for real,you would literally set up a
pillow that you can sit on apillow to your left and a pillow
to your right and you set atimer so you can use insight
timer.
So it's 90 seconds each phaseand the first 90 seconds you're
just gonna fuck the pillow toyour left, right.
At the end of that 90 secondsyou're gonna come back and
(39:57):
meditate.
Then the other 90 seconds, like, so the bell is going on for
each one.
You're going to now fuck, sorry, you're going to kill the
pillow.
So sorry, first, first phase,is kill.
So you kill completely.
Then you meditate on whatever'scoming up inside of you.
Then you take the consciousnessof meditation to kill the
pillow.
Then you sit back on the pillowand you meditate with an open
heart and then you kill thepillow with an open heart.
(40:18):
So killing is like you'rehitting the pillow, you're stom
it, you just you're letting outthat like rageful impulse, and
then you come back and youmeditate and then, next bell,
you're going to turn to yourright and you're going to fuck
that pillow.
So that's literally like, like,like, give it to the fucking
pillow with your pelvis likesuper hard.
Bell goes off.
You're going to come back, sitand meditate.
(40:39):
Bell goes Now you're're gonnafuck with presence and
consciousness.
Bell goes.
You're gonna sit back onto thepillow.
You're gonna open your heartand meditation.
Bell goes and now you're gonnafuck with your open-hearted
presence.
And then you're gonna sit onthe pillow one final time and
you're gonna meditate with yoursexual primal fuck.
Energy activated, your heartopen in your full presence.
(41:02):
You could do that and then likeany of the practices they've
learned from you intoself-pleasure, and that will
surely unlock a portal to yourpower.
Taylor Johnson (41:11):
Yeah, yeah, and that seems like one of the most
important parts is actuallyinternally feeling the
difference of doing those thingswith presence and with heart
compared to without.
Yes, what that does to thewhole consciousness and
embodiment and everything.
Layla Martin (41:23):
Totally, I find.
I mean it works for everybody,but for men especially, like,
rather than telling you once youfeel it, you're like oh right
For sure?
Taylor Johnson (41:33):
Yeah, yeah, awesome, thanks so much.
And so you mentioned thetantric mastermind.
Are you going to do anotherAeros retreat?
Is that on the horizon?
Are you not sure?
Like I'm curious, cause thiswas the first one you ever did,
a month ago.
Layla Martin (41:45):
Totally, totally.
Taylor Johnson (41:46):
Yes.
Layla Martin (41:46):
Um, I definitely want to do an Aeros retreat in
the future.
It was so powerful and sowonderful Um.
I would love if, if you'll comeback for you and I need to be a
part of that.
It was so beautiful co-creatingwith you, so, so, so wonderful,
um, and probably, yeah, in in ayear, a year and a half, it's,
it's, it's a lot of work and Iabsolutely want to do it again
awesome, cool.
Taylor Johnson (42:07):
Well, I had a great time with the retreat and
I had a great time thisconversation.
Thank you, layla, so much forbeing here and sharing all the
things you share with us, andthank you for listening.
If you're listening, pleasetake this into action in your
lives and your partnerships.
And if you want to know moreabout Layla, I'll put a bunch of
her links in the notes section,some of my links as well.
And, yeah, what a gift.
(42:28):
Thanks so much.
I hope you all have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day.
See you next time.
then, to receive pleasure from that, to have
orgasms for the man who'spresent inside of his cock and
his heart and he, like, knowshis sexual power, he knows his
worth and he's present.
It's literally like, wow, like,truly, it's like the best drug
I've ever taken.
Taylor Johnson (00:19):
Welcome back to part two of my interview with
Layla Martin on the Sex UpgradedPodcast.
Thank you for being here.
My name is Taylor, I'll be yourhost for this episode and today
I'm joined by Layla Martin, who, in my opinion, is one of the
best teachers in the realms ofsacred sexuality, tantric
sexuality and overall justsexual health and vibrance and
wellness in general.
It's a treat today's episodeand I'm so glad you're here.
(00:42):
This is part two, so if youwant an introduction to Layla,
that's in part one, and in partone we also did a look at one of
the main areas men get stuckwhen they're trying to improve
their sex lives.
In this part two we're going toexplore some taboo and edgy
stuff around male sexuality andwhy the world and relationships
actually need this and want this, and why it's so hard for men
(01:06):
to feel like we can actually doit, myself included.
I'm still working on the thingsthat we're talking about today
as well.
So we're in this together andthere are some really beautiful
words that Layla says to men ingeneral that if you're a man
listening could feel so just atleast I'll speak for myself felt
so nourishing to hear from awoman who's done a lot of work
in this realm, so I'm so excitedto get into it today.
(01:27):
Thank you for being here andwithout further ado, let's get
into part two.
I'm curious to talk about thestate of men, which people hear
that sentence and they're like,oh shit.
Layla Martin (01:42):
I'm a wild feminist and I'm angry and I'm
coming for you.
Taylor Johnson (01:46):
Yeah, but you at the Aristertree, like you
started with this reallybeautiful, uh kind of reverent
welcome to men.
That I was just like wow,that's fucking awesome.
And I'm wondering like how,what do you appreciate about men
?
How do you feel about men ingeneral?
Is that even a yeah?
Layla Martin (02:07):
men?
How do you feel about men ingeneral?
Is that even yeah, yeah, thankyou?
No, I would love to share aboutthat.
So, first of all, let mequalify the joke I just made,
which is like, originally, whenI started doing this work and
everyone was like those angryfeminists they're so angry and
then I was like, okay, like,let's take a step back here,
because, like, let's just saytheoretically that you like took
all the economic, social andpolitical power from a class of
people for like, let's take astep back here, because, like,
let's just say theoreticallythat you like took all the
(02:28):
economic, social and politicalpower from a class of people for
like, let's say like a fewthousand years, and then taught
them to hate and shamethemselves and sexually repress
themselves and made their normalfunctioning like having a
menstrual cycle, something thateveryone should be like, really
scared of and ashamed of, andmedicalize their body and all of
that, and didn't even let themhave a checking account and like
allowed rape culture toperpetuate.
Like and like.
(02:49):
When you had a moment of likelooking around and being like,
oh shit, would you not be angryfor?
Like, like, there's like amoment for some rage, and to me,
this is what's happening inculture in these little moments
is people are really waking upto the toxicity and like the
fucked upness of what happenedand being like holy shit, like
that was horrible, like I'mpissed off, like that wasn't
(03:11):
cool, right, like I still when Itap into it and I'm like I grew
up watching clueless of likeyou have to be that skinny and
that dumb and that vapid for anyman to like you.
Like, if that doesn't fill mewith a little rage sometimes,
then like I'm not payingattention Totally and I give
women a ton of credit that, likemost women that I know, and
especially women doing the work,are like well, that sucks water
(03:35):
under the bridge.
Like how do we make it better?
Right, like like how do weactually build a better world, a
better society, a morebeautiful world?
And so when I look out at that,that's what I see is a number
of people who are like holy shit, that sucked, okay, what's next
?
How do we do this?
And so I can't judge anyone forhaving their moment of anger.
(03:55):
I think that's so essential forreestablishing power and
boundaries and beyond that, it'slike anyone who's really doing
the work.
The anger's a phase and thenyour heart opens and unlocks.
And when my heart opened all theway and I really started
listening to men, I justrealized how much they've been
(04:21):
through.
And a really big moment for mewith men was I uncoupled from an
eight and a half yearpartnership and I started dating
again and like I, you know,just literally ego chip on my
shoulder.
You know, like I was like doyou think, nba players and
Grammy award-winning musiciansand like whatever, like the
reason I say this is and likeyou know, titans of business.
(04:44):
And the reason I say this isbecause I would have expected in
our culture that those menwould feel worthy, right Like,
handsome, capable, accomplishedand what I was seeing.
Because I had stopped, I haddone enough healing work on
myself that I wasn't just usingthem as a token to prove
something about myself.
There was still some layersthere, but I actually wanted to
(05:06):
know them and universally,during that year of dating, it
struck me how even the mostprivileged men among us were
struggling so hard withworthiness.
They were doubting themselves,they were hating themselves,
they were having such a hardtime with the feminine, with
women.
They were questioning theirpath, they were confused in
(05:29):
their spirituality, they werelost in their bodies, Like, and
I was like, oh shit, Like I justspent 15 years working with
women.
I worked with men before that,but I really focused on women
for a long time and I really gotinto this world of seeing
women's pain on this planet.
And when I really focused onwomen for a long time and I
really got into this world ofseeing women's pain on this
planet, and when I really openedmy eyes, I was like, oh shit,
(05:49):
Like the men are in so much painand they just they don't.
I think what's harder for men isthat at least as women were
like well, that was a shittybargain.
Like I was in that much painand like and I like couldn't
fucking have have any money, orlike get divorced or whatever,
and like or like report hersexual harassment.
(06:11):
So like, fuck this Right, we'relike.
I like that didn't work for me,I'm out of here.
But a lot of men still subtlybelieve that the system is
working for them, and so they'reactually still fighting for a
system that's been just as toxicfor them as it is for women.
So the way that I see men isdivine, fucking warriors.
And I don't mean a divinewarrior like a perfect man, I
(06:32):
mean a divine warrior with allyour sensitivity, with the times
that you've cried and failedand like not been able to get
off the floor, the moments thatyou feel yourself in your
relationship, with all of youraddictions and lazy behaviors,
Like I mean including that menare warriors and Kings and gods.
And when I have seen men embodythat through breath, work,
(06:56):
through sacred sexuality,practices like touch that inside
of themselves, the whole roomgoes electric.
So there's a specific vibrationthat happens when the women get
lit and there's a, there's afrequency when the men return to
their true, God-given universe,given biology, given power,
(07:16):
however you want to think of.
It makes my hair stand on endand one of the things that it
made me see was that men haveactually lost their true power
even more than women, but wedon't see it because they have
the appearance of power andculture, but they don't have
that true power, the spiritualpower like the spine of power,
(07:39):
like the values that give youpower, your open heart, your
cock and your testicles and yourmystical center all aligned,
kind of power, and it's justgetting worse.
And so when I first welcomedmen into the retreat, I do it
from A an acknowledgement thatmen feel really unseen right now
(08:00):
in society and really judgedand really criticized.
And B, it's kind of scary whenyou've had a certain kind of
power and it feels like eventhat's getting taken away and
see a distrust of women thatthey're, they're against them or
they don't see them or theyjudge them, and so for me it's
really important to acknowledgethem but also let them know like
I am as devoted to you as I amto the feminine and in fact
(08:23):
right now I think on this planetthe true masculine is even more
rare.
Like if I was going to be indeepest service to this planet
right now, I would serve menbecause I feel like they are
hurting more and not in like aoh, poor victims.
I need to save them, in a kindof like I see what the fuck you
are and I want you to live thislife in your full power in any
(08:44):
way that I can be a guardian anda support on your journey, in
that Like I'm here for that andI love that there's more and
more leaders of men like you,Taylor, who, like, really hold
this mantle of like.
One of the things I was sotouched by in the retreat is how
authentically you lead and howvulnerably you share from,
(09:04):
because it's like this exquisiteportrait of what a man can be,
but without any of the bullshitof like oh, it's got to be this.
And this fronting and thispretending it's like, it's so
real.
It includes your teenageawkwardness, it includes the
doubts that you still have, andit also includes building a
really successful business andhaving the dopest partner and
(09:25):
like.
All of that.
You know it's, it's all of it.
So that's how I feel about them.
Taylor Johnson (09:34):
Cheers to that, cheers, yeah, and thank you for
that reflection, you know, andas somebody who leads people
like, well, first, as a studentof different people throughout
time, I have really appreciatedwhen people who are leading me
through things are transparentand authentic and vulnerable
about what's going on for them,cause I'm like, oh, you're human
(09:56):
, great, now I can learn fromyou.
You're not up here on thispedestal Like your shit stinks
too, you know.
So, yeah, I try to.
I try to do that.
It's important to me and itfeels good.
And and you said, you said apiece around there's this like
really powerful kind of primalenergy that can happen for men
when they stand in their truepower.
And you mentioned heart and cockand balls and spiritual
(10:19):
openness, all connected at thesame time.
And that kind of dovetails withthe question like what have you
seen lacking, you know, and itsounds kind of like that.
And what have women said thatthey've been lacking from men?
And also, when I've looked atyour course for men, like one of
the pieces you have in there inthe beginning is this exercise
(10:40):
called the fuck kill, you know.
And I'm like, all right, let'stalk about that, cause I also
heard you speak to it and in apodcast recently with Om Rupani,
there's this sort of like edge,right, there's a we'll call it
a masculine edge of that's likethis really kind of fierce, yet
attuned um state ofconsciousness that can feel
(11:02):
really enlivening for women, youknow, and for the world
ultimately.
But I'd love for you to justspeak a little bit about that.
What, what is this fuck killthing and why?
Layla Martin (11:14):
Well, it's fuck, kill to consciousness.
And it's a really cool practiceand it does.
It encapsulates this teaching.
Hold on, I'm really cravingsitting with my legs crossed and
not knocking a vase of flowersover.
So if you are not watching on,I'm really craving sitting with
my legs crossed and not knockingan invasive flowers over.
So if you are not watchingvisually, I'm just rearranging
my body right now.
Okay, okay.
So in fuck, kill theconsciousness.
(11:36):
This is a practice that Iinnovated for men because I was
like wait, what is this corething that men are repressing,
that their female partners arehungering for and that they're
even hungering for in themselves?
And what I thought about wasthese two forces of masculine
impulse right, one is to kill.
Every man has the capacity tokill.
(11:57):
Every human does.
But in men, that capacity tokill, it can be the shadowiest
of shadow, right, it can be likethe darkest of dark, but it can
also be the highest service ofshadow.
Right, it can be like thedarkest of dark, but it can also
be the highest service, like,if you're defending your child,
you're defending your wife,you're defending your family,
right, then it is the highesthonor, that capacity to kill.
(12:18):
And that capacity to killcreates a deep sense of safety
in the feminine.
Like we are designedbiologically to be protected,
like we're also badasses and wecan also go out there and, like
do our own thing.
And when I'm eight monthspregnant, I need warriors to
protect me.
And so, in that feeling, thisessence of kill in a man is so
(12:42):
erotic, it's so important, andfor a man to feel that in
himself.
But what's happened is thatit's become divorced and there's
all this shame on it and allthis self-judgment and all this
fear of that primal impulse.
So, in fact, kill theconsciousness.
You have a, you have a pillowthat you're sitting on and you
turn to your left and you likekill the pillow, like you give
it your kill instinct, likeyou're punching it, you're
(13:04):
screaming, you're stabbing it,you're stomping on it, like
whatever that instinct to killis, and you do that just full
out or like no control.
Then you go back to the pillowand you meditate and you use
this kill instinct, but you'remeditating, you're like, fully
present.
And then you do another roundwhere you open your heart and
your kill instinct comes fromyour heart.
(13:26):
And while that sounds so strangeto us, I got really into these,
like old warrior epics.
I talk about this in arrows too.
I'm like a mega nerd, if youhaven't picked up on it yet.
So I've been reading.
I read the Iliad and then Iread Gilgamesh and these are
like these ancient heroic epicsof male warriors different
(13:50):
heroic epics of male warriorsand in this men are like
chiseled and they're warriorsand they're killing and they're
poets and they are filled withlove for their cultures and
their gods and their familiesand they're also human.
But there's like this warriorspirit that has love in it and
to me that's what every manwants to know in himself is I
will never misuse my instinct tokill.
(14:11):
I will not take out my rage onpeople that I love, but I would
absolutely kill to defend myfamily and I would do that from
my presence, right, and thatinstinct as well, like women
feeling that in you is so hot,like a man who's like unstable
and his kill instinct isterrifying, and that instinct as
well.
Like women feeling that in youis so hot.
Like a man who's like unstableand his kill instinct is
terrifying and we're like, whoa,stay away from there.
But a man who's got his killinstinct as he walks down the
(14:32):
street when he's present with it.
It's like so sexy, so it's liketake these power instincts but
merge them with meditation andmerge them with love.
It's the same thing with fuck,right, fuck also has one of the
deepest shadows, and any womanwho's ever been fucked by a man
who doesn't have hisconsciousness and his heart in
it is like that's horrifying,like it's literally horrifying.
(14:55):
You feel like you're beingmasturbated into.
You feel like this object,right.
And so a lot of men have beenlike okay, well, no one wants my
fuck, or my fuck is bad, or myfuck could be a rapist or it
could hurt someone, right.
And so there men are walkingaround right now, disconnected
from kill, but they're alsodisconnecting from fuck.
And so in that same meditation,in that same process, it's like
(15:17):
meditate and then give yourfuck and then open your heart
and then give your fuck.
And so this disconnection ifI'm not present and my heart's
not in it, these impulses in mengive us some of the greatest
shadows on the planet.
But as soon as a man is presentand opens his heart, then your
fuck is the greatest gift.
(15:37):
Because I know women, I knowmyself, and we all want to be
consensually fucked by a man whoknows his killer instinct and
is in touch with his primalsexual power and has his heart
open and knows how to be presentwith all of it.
And that's, to me, where menrestore their power, because I
feel like they've started tofeel okay in society by
(16:00):
disconnecting themselves fromthese primal forces, rather than
truly re-empowering by usingmeditation in their heart.
Taylor Johnson (16:07):
Yeah, yeah.
I think this is one of thebiggest things in the realm of
sex and intimacy between men andwomen right now, because I hear
all these women who are sayinglike I just want to be ravished,
I want to be taken, I want tobe held and like done all these
things too.
And then, at the same time, Ihear all these men saying like I
(16:29):
don't want to be the man who'swho's hurting the woman with my
sexual desires.
Like I don't want to be toooverbearing, I don't want to
like I have fear around beingtoo much.
You know my desire.
Being too much or being likethe bad man or something like
that is pervasive.
It's pervasive right now.
It's wild.
Layla Martin (16:42):
So Well, I understand why that would be
confusing, because pretty muchevery woman, without exception,
right Like I, had horrificexperiences.
But even beyond that, like wehave all met a man who has used
his sexuality in a negative orabusive or just harmful way.
(17:05):
Like as a young spiritualpractitioner, I didn't have a
single male teacher for 15 yearswho didn't try to fuck me and
like not in, like a cool, likethis is special or in love kind
of way, like uh, this is like myright to do kind of way.
And so there is this likefeminine contraction around the
(17:33):
male expression of rage oraround the male expression of
fuck, because we've experiencedit so much disconnected and I
think one of the great mysteriesof life is that we crave it
when it is connected.
I think for men to reallyunderstand that is really
important and also that womenhave to do our healing.
(17:54):
We have.
I had to let go of my painaround the masculine.
I had to do rituals around allmy daddy issues.
I had to let go of all of mydisappointments from the past.
I had to let my pain body go sothat I could let a man be a man
, because as long as I was in somuch pain from my father, from
(18:15):
my upbringing, from early badexperiences with boys or men,
because I was hurting so much Icouldn't see the man in front of
me and I just did a podcastwith my beloved Bobak and he
said like thank you, lila, forall of the work you did before
you met me.
Like I went into a darknessretreat and I worked out my pain
(18:36):
with every man in my life,starting with my father, up into
the most recent man I dated andI went through it ceremonially
until I got to forgiveness andthen until I got to gratitude,
because I was like the next manI meet, I want to be able to see
him and I want to be able tohonor him and I don't want to do
to him what I did to previouspartners, which is I saw them
(18:58):
through the lens of my own painand I still see my beloved
through the lens of my own pain,but far, far less than I ever,
ever did before.
And I think, as women, if yousay you want a warrior and a man
and his power, you'll stillhave to deal with the fact that
you can't fucking push themaround and like it's the same
with me, like I'm a queengoddess, and like my beloved is
(19:19):
always like can't, cannot pushyou around, not the, not the way
I used to.
Cannot outrun, you Cannotoutsmart, you Cannot tell you
what to do, because I stand inmy fierce power.
But the thing is now.
So does he right, like I haveto want to be with someone
inhabiting his warrior king?
And you know he still dealswith his own stuff and is in his
(19:41):
own process, like he's not likehe's perfect, but in his power.
Right, it's a differentcalculus.
I can't emasculate him.
I don't even want to.
I can't tell him what to do,nor would I want to.
I can give him my truth and mydiscernment, but I let him be
free and that and I don't meanlike sexually free, like we have
a strong container and strongagreements, but I let him be
(20:01):
free and that and I don't meanlike sexually free, like we have
a strong container and strongagreements, but I let him be
free to be himself.
And I was not raised in the artof letting a man to be himself.
I was raised in the art oftelling a man what to do.
And especially tell a man whatto do If you feel in any way
like upset, make him change hisbehavior.
Like upset, make him change hisbehavior.
(20:22):
And I really had to learn theart of let a man be so that you
can have great polarity and bothbeing your power.
Taylor Johnson (20:30):
Yeah, hmm, hmm.
Yeah, there's a piece around.
What I've seen and what I'veexperienced too, is that men and
women I'll speak for men for asecond like we can, we can
become very siloed in our, inour own worlds, you know, and
have this like othering or likeagainst women, or like, oh,
(20:54):
women don't understand us, theydon't know what the pain is.
And then I see on the other sidethere's like, oh well, men
don't understand us, we don'tknow what the pain is.
And I want to be like, hey,we're all actually experiencing
problems, we're all actuallyexperiencing pain.
And there's like it's a usefulempathy to be able to understand
that.
And like a piece, you said, no,you didn't have a male teacher
for 15 years that didn't try tofuck you Like damn, like I'm
(21:25):
sorry, and that's a big deal,you know, and of course that
would leave an imprint and ofcourse that would impact all the
interactions you have with menup until you do, you know, work
around that to shift some things.
And so I think a little bit ofempathy, going across the aisle
both ways is like a reallybeautiful and necessary part of
the growthful experience andunderstanding that we all have,
all have work to do.
Layla Martin (21:40):
Yeah, I think one of the things that I got to put
myself, I think, puttingyourself in someone else's shoes
.
It sounds so simple and it.
I think I was in my latethirties before I learned how to
do it.
Um and like, I put myself inmen's shoes and I was like, oh,
to be a part of the patriarchalsystem, you had to dehumanize a
(22:03):
lot of people.
Like to participate indehumanizing capitalism or the
economic, political and socialdisempowerment of people based
on, like, their race or theirgender or their sexual
orientation.
Like to dehumanize anyone elseand justify taking away their
resources, you have todehumanize yourself first, and
what I saw was this massdehumanization of men, like
(22:28):
almost a brainwashing that leftthem so disconnected, when the
vast majority of men are goodhumans who are actually like,
beautiful and magical andspiritual beyond belief, and to
have to be in such a toxicsystem was so deeply toxic.
(22:48):
And so when I say patriarchy, Isay it with just a tremendous
compassion for what that did toeveryone and that makes me
understand that, like, thefuture that I see is just
everyone being in their powerand their connection and their
leadership, and that shouldn'tbe too much to ask, because I do
(23:10):
think that is the way thatwe're made, and I don't think
men sometimes put theirthemselves in the shoes of women
enough to be like.
What would it feel like to walkaround the world feeling
physically unsafe as much as youdo?
What would it have felt likethat?
Like my own mother couldn't geta checking account.
(23:32):
My mom was like one of thefirst to go to college, right
Like to grow up and like there'sno men who can be CEOs or
presidents or leaders.
Men who can be CEOs orpresidents or leaders.
Like you know, if anyone isstill to this day like I, don't
think most men even understandwhat it's like if you experience
sexual assault, how horrificthe courts are, the way that the
(23:53):
police still treat women it's,it's abhorrent, it's disgusting
and it's news to most men Like Ifeel like most of us walk
around disconnected from whatit's like to be in the other
person's shoes, and that, to me,is what creates this deep, deep
, deep separation.
Taylor Johnson (24:10):
Yeah, yeah, well said.
And so, circling back around tothe joining in connection piece
, like we talked about this,this fuck kill consciousness and
how enjoyable it is for you andfor women to experience.
I'm wondering, from theperspective of somebody who
receives that from men, who hasreceived, you know, the, the
(24:34):
full spectrum, heart version ofthat, can you just like describe
that a little bit more?
Like what's it like to receivethat from a man?
How can you tell that that'shappening in a moment?
You know, like, what happensfor you?
Layla Martin (24:48):
like the same way that you can feel when someone's
really listening to you.
It's like they're there withyou, versus when someone's like
checked out or paying attentionto their phone, and you know
when someone's really listeningto you.
It makes you want to tell yourwhole story.
It makes you want to like shareyourself to me.
(25:12):
It's the same thing sexually,like when someone's in their
head or they're checked out orthey're fantasizing.
It's like I don't want to sharemyself, like I don't even
really want to be here becauseyou don't really want to be here
.
And that same way that you canfeel that in a conversation, you
can feel that during sex, whena man shows up, that power of
(25:37):
your presence is like holy shit.
It's like.
It's like that feeling of itbeing like Christmas and New
Year's all at the same time andyou're going to get like all of
the best gifts.
It literally feels like a giftto open your heart into that, to
sell, be celebrated and adoredfrom that place.
Again, it's like wow, wow, wow.
(26:01):
Like men, I want you to knowwhat a gift you are.
And like what that feels likeThen to receive pleasure from
that, to have orgasms for theman who's present inside of his
cock and his heart and he like,knows his sexual power, he knows
his worth and he's present.
It's literally like wow, liketruly, it's like the best drug
(26:25):
I've ever taken doesn't compareto being on the ride of a
present man that I love in hisheart and in his fuck and in his
power his power is better thanany drug.
That's literally what it feelslike.
That level of ecstasy, thatlevel of gratitude, that level
of magic.
(26:46):
To be able to share that withsomeone else, even just once, I
feel like, makes it all worth.
It makes this whole life worthit.
So, men, like when you're doingthese practices, when you're
coming home to yourself, whenyou're finding your power, just
know what a gift you become toeveryone in your life, but
especially your beloved.
Taylor Johnson (27:08):
Yeah, let's, let's take another breath to
that.
Yeah, and not a gift from thisego place of like, oh, I'm a
gift to you, but like trulybeing this yeah, I don't even
know if I need to put words toit Like you just said it so
(27:29):
beautifully Like you, you justexisting in that space as a man
is is a gift.
Layla Martin (27:34):
Yeah, it's like the sunshine.
Taylor Johnson (27:38):
And it sounds like you didn't say these words,
but it sounds like you mightsay it's something you could
relax into or feel held by.
Would you say so?
Layla Martin (27:47):
Yeah, yeah, and that's some of my greatest work.
My nervous system is still likenope.
But, yes, to be in thosemoments where my nervous system
(28:13):
feels safe and I feel held inthat way by my beloved, it feels
so incredibly good and good theway that human life is meant to
feel good.
Taylor Johnson (28:17):
Yeah, there's this word that I've been hearing
a lot of this year, year and ahalf or so, and you talked about
it in your podcast with OM aswell but containment and that
world seems really appropriatehere.
You know, I'm wondering if youcould just, in your words, speak
to what that, what that is.
Layla Martin (28:40):
It's an energetic holding and the way that Om
Rapani talks about it that Ithink is very helpful is to feel
it like being a mountain Right,like you're not going to fuck
with a mountain's peace orpresence, and you can feel that
in someone.
And when a woman feels that ina man, like I'm here and I'm
(29:02):
spacious, and I think thebiggest piece of containment
that we don't often get is thatcontainment has a coolness to it
.
So like my beloved was trainedas a surgeon and an
anesthesiologist.
So when you're treating a childmedically right, you're not
like, oh my god, the child's notokay.
(29:22):
And like you know, should we dosomething, should we move in
here or anything Right, it'slike I fucking got this Right
and you are present and you arecalm and collected and slow.
So the biggest mistake if youwant to call it that or maybe
misunderstanding is a betterword that men have around
pleasing the feminineenergetically or sexually is
(29:44):
like I got to do this or no,maybe I should do that or I
should try this thing, or Ithink she likes this, let me try
something else.
It's going to feel better, orlike speed up or whatever,
whereas actually like one of thegreat secrets of the clitoris
right Is like when a womanstarts feeling an increase in
pleasure, usually don't changeyour pressure or speed, you just
keep going right.
(30:05):
That's a kind of containment interms of I'm attuned to you and
I'm bigger, my field is biggerthan whatever you could bring to
me energetically, sexually,emotionally.
What that does is it allows youto feel like you can relax into
this space, like I've got youand I don't have you like, oh,
(30:29):
my god, is everything okay?
Have I solved every problem?
Have I crossed every t?
Have it done every I?
It's like a spaciousness that'sso big and the two biggest ways
that men can cultivate that.
Number one is meditation.
And number two do hard thingsevery day, whether it's lifting
weights, whether it's surfing,whether it's hiking out in the
(30:49):
mountains, whether it's doing anice bath.
When you do hard things, youhave to contain your own fear,
right, like when you do hardthings, it's not that you never
feel fear, it's that you'rebigger than your fear.
And that's what containmentfeels like to a woman.
It's like, oh, he's bigger thanmy petty grape right now, or
he's bigger than my currentclosure, he's bigger than my
(31:10):
tears.
And when you have that feeling,it's like, oh, that that's how
you can rest inside of it andthat's far sexier.
Om Rupani really taught me thisand I find it to be extremely
true.
That feeling is far sexier tothe feminine than like a
mothering feeling of like, oh,are you okay?
And like, let me make you tea.
And like, oh, that's beautifulsometimes Cause, like everybody
(31:32):
feels loved by that.
But, like my partner, making metea doesn't make me want to
have an orgasm.
But him, like, standing in hiswarrior power, with this kind of
coolness of like you couldbring me absolutely everything
and I would just stay here withit Like that's hot.
Taylor Johnson (31:49):
I bet you there's a way he could make you
tea that would make you want toorgasm.
Practice, practice thecombining of those things.
Yeah, so for the sake ofnerding, ner nerding out on this
, it's like there's the fuckkill consciousness that you
could then bring to your partnerin sex, and then the act and
(32:09):
the choice of placing yourawareness on your partner while
embodying that level ofconsciousness and feeling like
that is the, the piece aroundcontainment.
There's like a care, butthere's also an equanimity with
that.
Layla Martin (32:22):
Yes, yeah, when I'm inhabiting containment with
people that I'm working with,it's literally like nothing you
could do could disrupt mynervous system, and this is the
thing I've had to train thatRight.
So people can literally screamat me now, and not from a place
of dissociation.
Scream at me now and not from aplace of dissociation.
(32:45):
It's just my sense of safetyand the bigness of the moment
and the trust of the moment isso much bigger than whatever
they're experiencing that it'slike it doesn't disrupt me.
And I'm not saying it's like ahundred percent, but I'm pretty
unshakable and that is thisfeeling of like whatever you
bring to me shakable, and thatis this feeling of like whatever
you bring to me, it's okay,right.
And there there's a spirituallevel of trust, there there's a
(33:06):
training that's in there.
There is, um, there's almostlike a compassion in there too.
That's like built in, which islike, if you start screaming at
me as a teacher now, like you'rein pain, like you're, you're in
pain, right, and so like itkeeps me out of any story about
any one person and like, asquickly as possible, I get to
(33:31):
understanding.
And so that's why containment,even though it's like this
simple sounding word, it's awhole bunch of interlocking
skills that actually include theability to feel someone and to
almost feel them deeper thanthey're currently feeling
themselves, which is somethingthat you train, and I think
(33:51):
that's actually something that alot of men are missing because
they got conditioned todissociate from themselves.
So there's a certain level ofdecision.
Taylor Johnson (33:59):
Yeah, totally.
Layla Martin (34:01):
As opposed to like I'm feeling you deeper than
you're feeling yourself rightnow.
That's how you offer someonethe gift of giving them the
desire that they don't even yetknow they have too.
Taylor Johnson (34:11):
Like it's not like you always have to be in
that space holder role.
Like for me, it's nice to layback and receive a blow job
sometimes, you know, like that'sa beautiful part of the
experience too, and I might nothave to hold that same level of
acute awareness.
And I just know there might besome people listening who are
thinking like, oh, I've got todo that all the time, constantly
(34:33):
in sex for it to be good fromnow on.
I'm like no, but it's a flavorof the experience that you could
choose to step into sometimes.
Layla Martin (34:41):
Totally, and it's so important for I know you're a
big proponent of this as a manto like lay back and receive
sometimes.
Taylor Johnson (34:48):
Yeah, I like that.
I recognize there are peopleout there who might not like
that as much, but I think it's abeautiful gift and honestly,
like actually for me when Ithink about some of the things
that have been most helpful inmy own journey with sex, like
learning to receiveenergetically, physically, uh,
(35:08):
though, like that actuallyopened me up to the realm of
non-ejaculatory orgasms, andlike longer lasting sex.
And so there's like thiscircuit that can happen Right
and I'm like, oh wow, I can, Ican actually intake more, I can
breathe more and more energy canenter me, More pleasure can
enter me because I'm open toreceiving and through that act
I'm able to give more andexperience more.
That was a huge, huge lightbulb experience for me, Not just
(35:32):
trying to do, do, do, train,train, train.
But there was another switch toflip Totally the receiving
switch.
Layla Martin (35:39):
Totally, and I think that can be the danger of
too much polarity teachings ortoo much gendered stuff.
Some of my greatest sexualgifts and magnetism as a woman
is from the power of mymeditation.
I had this crazy tantric guruin the jungle.
He used to make us do poseslike, basically until we would
fall over, so that you would,you know, make peace with your
(36:01):
pain.
And I did the longest out ofany man any woman has.
Like I will meet the center ofmy pain right, which was a
tantric meditation.
Go to the Vignan Bhairav Tantra, go to the center of your pain
and be still right.
And so sometimes I think womenunderestimate the power of these
(36:25):
kinds of trainings, because tosurrender you have to feel so
safe with yourself, you have toknow what you're capable of
right.
And so training yourself intopower is so huge and for so many
men to know, like the bliss ofKundalini Ma, the goddess
(36:46):
herself, like riding throughyour body right, or what it
feels like to receive the depthof love and beauty in your heart
, right.
This allows you to have theseother qualities that I've been
talking about of empathy, orfeeling someone super deeply or
putting yourself in someoneelse's shoes.
So it's like I think we've alsogendered these like practices
sometimes.
But honestly, fucking part ofbeing a great human, a sexy
(37:06):
human, powerful human, is doingall of it.
Taylor Johnson (37:09):
For sure.
Yeah, you could show up withcontainment and fuck, kill
consciousness too, and that'swhat it is, with the right
person in the right context.
Like we could all hold thosedifferent energies.
Layla Martin (37:22):
Look, I love being a woman so much, it's like such
a cosmic gift, and I also, Iwould be a great man Nice.
Taylor Johnson (37:32):
So yeah, we're coming to the closing part of
the conversation.
I just want to ask you did wedid talk about the fuck kill,
it's a consciousness exercise?
But if there are men listeningright now who are thinking, oh,
about the fuck kill toconsciousness exercise, but if
there are men listening rightnow who are thinking, oh, I
really want to like dip my toesinto this or step into these
energies a little bit more.
Are there other practices orthings that you would recommend
for them to do, or to listen toor to study?
(37:53):
Like, what would you say tothose men?
Layla Martin (37:55):
Yeah, totally.
Um, I mean, I have lots of freeresources, some really great
YouTube videos of like men ingiant furry penis costumes, my
friend Parker, who's a musician,who fully consensually agreed
to do it with me teaching aboutmulti-orgasmic practices, things
like that, um.
But I think, cultivating as youteach as well any kind of
(38:16):
pleasure practice, any 10 to 15minutes once a week or several
times a week, where you practiceyour breath work, you practice
your energy circuits, youpractice the movement of energy
through your body, if you wantto do some of those deeper
psychological practices likefuck, kill.
The consciousness comes from mymen's sexual mastery training,
which is a seven module trainingwhere it's like, yeah, when men
(38:38):
do that program, sometimesthey're like, wait, I'm getting
you to have like conversationslike that, work out your shit
with your dad, cause I'm likeyou, like, truly, that is the
key to your multi-orgasmic poweris releasing some of this pain,
some of this trapped energy.
Um.
And then, if you want to workreally deeply with me and my
partner, we have a really coolprogram called the tantric
(39:00):
mastermind, which is a fourmonth container for couples to
experience all of this.
And we do live retreats in acastle in England, also in
Sedona and the really magicaldesert, and yeah, so you can
check any of those pieces out onmy website, which is
leilamartincom.
Taylor Johnson (39:17):
Awesome, yeah, that sounds great.
Thank you, and sounds like also.
We didn't explicitly say this,but perhaps if a man's wanting
to do some of thoseself-pleasure sessions, he could
bring in practice bringing inthe consciousness of fuck kill
to the pleasure session, rightLike, try to embody that while
while doing the pleasure.
Layla Martin (39:35):
Yeah, totally.
I mean, if you want, if youwant to bust out a little fuck,
kill to consciousness, for real,you would literally set up a
pillow that you can sit on apillow to your left and a pillow
to your right and you set atimer so you can use insight
timer.
So it's 90 seconds each phaseand the first 90 seconds you're
just gonna fuck the pillow toyour left, right.
At the end of that 90 secondsyou're gonna come back and
(39:57):
meditate.
Then the other 90 seconds, like, so the bell is going on for
each one.
You're going to now fuck, sorry, you're going to kill the
pillow.
So sorry, first, first phase,is kill.
So you kill completely.
Then you meditate on whatever'scoming up inside of you.
Then you take the consciousnessof meditation to kill the
pillow.
Then you sit back on the pillowand you meditate with an open
heart and then you kill thepillow with an open heart.
(40:18):
So killing is like you'rehitting the pillow, you're stom
it, you just you're letting outthat like rageful impulse, and
then you come back and youmeditate and then, next bell,
you're going to turn to yourright and you're going to fuck
that pillow.
So that's literally like, like,like, give it to the fucking
pillow with your pelvis likesuper hard.
Bell goes off.
You're going to come back, sitand meditate.
(40:39):
Bell goes Now you're're gonnafuck with presence and
consciousness.
Bell goes.
You're gonna sit back onto thepillow.
You're gonna open your heartand meditation.
Bell goes and now you're gonnafuck with your open-hearted
presence.
And then you're gonna sit onthe pillow one final time and
you're gonna meditate with yoursexual primal fuck.
Energy activated, your heartopen in your full presence.
(41:02):
You could do that and then likeany of the practices they've
learned from you intoself-pleasure, and that will
surely unlock a portal to yourpower.
Taylor Johnson (41:11):
Yeah, yeah, and that seems like one of the most
important parts is actuallyinternally feeling the
difference of doing those thingswith presence and with heart
compared to without.
Yes, what that does to thewhole consciousness and
embodiment and everything.
Layla Martin (41:23):
Totally, I find.
I mean it works for everybody,but for men especially, like,
rather than telling you once youfeel it, you're like oh right
For sure?
Taylor Johnson (41:33):
Yeah, yeah, awesome, thanks so much.
And so you mentioned thetantric mastermind.
Are you going to do anotherAeros retreat?
Is that on the horizon?
Are you not sure?
Like I'm curious, cause thiswas the first one you ever did,
a month ago.
Layla Martin (41:45):
Totally, totally.
Taylor Johnson (41:46):
Yes.
Layla Martin (41:46):
Um, I definitely want to do an Aeros retreat in
the future.
It was so powerful and sowonderful Um.
I would love if, if you'll comeback for you and I need to be a
part of that.
It was so beautiful co-creatingwith you, so, so, so wonderful,
um, and probably, yeah, in in ayear, a year and a half, it's,
it's, it's a lot of work and Iabsolutely want to do it again
awesome, cool.
Taylor Johnson (42:07):
Well, I had a great time with the retreat and
I had a great time thisconversation.
Thank you, layla, so much forbeing here and sharing all the
things you share with us, andthank you for listening.
If you're listening, pleasetake this into action in your
lives and your partnerships.
And if you want to know moreabout Layla, I'll put a bunch of
her links in the notes section,some of my links as well.
And, yeah, what a gift.
(42:28):
Thanks so much.
I hope you all have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day.
See you next time.
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