Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective
Answering questions about married sexuality and intimacy
Episodes
SWM 154 - Sex before marriage - when you remove covenant from intimacy. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
In my last episode, I talked about how sex is an act of worship because having sex, the way God intended, gives worth to Him. It honours what He created by using it as He intended.
However, our society is doing its best to invert that by taking away elements of God’s plan so as to distort sex. To make it no...
SWM 153 - Sex as an act of worship. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
The other night, after my wife and I had sex, we were lying there in that sweaty, happy pile you end up in when the oxytocin kicks in. As I often do, I asked her what she was thinking about. She’ll tell you I probably ask that too often, because I’m endlessly curious about what’s going on in her head.
Her answer surprised me. She said, “Sex i...
June - August 2025 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
- My wife’s nightclothes are killing my attraction
- Is using a vibrator wrong?
- How do I get my husband to initiate sex?
- Need something to spice up our sex life
- How does scent factor into spouse selection
- Recovery after pregnancy
- Is using classical conditioning on you...
Jan - June 2025 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
- Do men enjoy cunnilingus after ejaculation?
- Should I feel bad for refusing oral after anal?
- My spouse says I should accept substitutes for sex
- Feeling unloved due to lack of physical affection
- Guilt over sexual desires shaped by past porn use
- When one spouse wants B...
SWM 150 - Control, sex and marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
Last month, I watched a great video by Gary Thomas and his wife Lisa on how a controlling spirit can harm a marriage. It got me thinking: In Christian circles, we often struggle to define the difference between healthy leadership and damaging control—both in marriage and in our relationship with God.
Why is it that surrendering to God is see...
SWM 148 - 14 red flags your marriage is drifting towards divorce, affairs or lifelong unhappiness. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
Have you noticed how quickly disagreements turn into demonization these days? Whether it’s politics, religion, or even marriage, we’ve gotten stuck in a cycle of contempt—where the ‘other side’ isn’t just wrong, they’re evil. And it’s destroying relationships.
I see this in my mar...
SWM 147 - How do you know if you're sexually compatible? Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
The most common argument I hear for premarital sex is, "You need to know if you're sexually compatible before getting married. Otherwise, you might end up stuck in a sexless, unfulfilling relationship."
And it sounds like sound reasoning. We test-drive cars before buying them. We have probation periods for people we hir...
SWM 146 - Legalistic vs Loving Approach to Marriage - Shifting from Rules to Relationship. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
In my work as a marriage coach, I often see couples transition from one type of marriage to another. There’s no clear line between these states, no set of rules that definitively places someone in one category or the other. Yet, by observing how they handle conflict, express themselves, ...
Oct, Nov, Dec 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
- Talking about a lack of sex
- Not drive due to cancer treatments
- Wife doesn't want to use lube
- Our sex life is routine
- Strap-on to help with premature ejaculation
- Do husbands like handjobs?
- Can a married couple film themselves during sex?
- Is sex better on a full sto...
SWM 144 - Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life.
This led into a larger discussion about why women te...
August 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
- Exhibitionism
- No sex in 4 months
- Should I disclose previous porn struggles to fiancee
- Other resources
- What qualifies as mutual masturbation
- Need rougher sex to orgasm
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
Agust 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
- Wife trades chores for sex
- How to handle no sex due to birth
- Water-based lube that doesn’t cause UTIs
- Guy’s relationships always end in affairs
- Post-childbirth and penis size preferences
- Wife is a gatekeeper
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
July 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
- Wife’s love dependent on mood
- Why don’t you direct people to God?
- Can’t seem to manage other positions
- Wife rejects exploration and being seen
- Nervous about sex outdoors
- Crossdressing rehash
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
SWM 139 - Why won't my spouse do x? I would do it for them. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
Recently, I’ve noticed a question popping up all over the place. It’s come up in our supporter forum, coaching sessions, emails, comments in our latest survey, and more. This question points to a fundamental tension in many marriages - at the root of it is a self-centric desire. The desire for our spouse to serve ou...
SWM 138 - BDSM Survey Results. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
During July and a bit of August, we ran a survey about people’s BDSM experiences. Depending on who you ask, it was either extensive or just dipping our toes into the topic. In the end, we received over 1,000 complete responses from a wide range of couples, some for whom BDSM is part of their daily life, others who were engaging in BDSM activities...
SWM 137 - Why we don't spank our children. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
Last week, Gary Thomas posted an article on his substack on the topic of discipline vs. punishment—not taking a stance but rather offering it up as a controversial conversation starter. Reading it made me curious about something—does your view of hell change your parenting approach? After all, if God is our example, and you believe th...
June 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
- Wife thinks she has to be mean to our children
- Golden showers (again)
- Wife can’t decide if she loves me or not
- Just because you’re experienced, doesn’t mean you’re qualified
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
SWM 135 - It's good to try new things. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.
Most kids, when growing up, enter a picky stage at some point. Some when they’re toddlers, some when they’re young children, some when they become teenagers. When our 3rd or 4th kid entered this phase, everyone knew the response when they didn’t want to eat something new that we’d made. “It’s good to try new things.” They didn’t have ...
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