Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective

SWM 150 - Control, sex and marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Last month, I watched a great video by Gary Thomas and his wife Lisa on how a controlling spirit can harm a marriage. It got me thinking: In Christian circles, we often struggle to define the difference between healthy leadership and damaging control—both in marriage and in our relationship with God.

Why is it that surrendering to God is see...

SWM 148 - 14 red flags your marriage is drifting towards divorce, affairs or lifelong unhappiness. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Have you noticed how quickly disagreements turn into demonization these days? Whether it’s politics, religion, or even marriage, we’ve gotten stuck in a cycle of contempt—where the ‘other side’ isn’t just wrong, they’re evil. And it’s destroying relationships.

I see this in my mar...

SWM 147 - How do you know if you're sexually compatible? Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

The most common argument I hear for premarital sex is, "You need to know if you're sexually compatible before getting married. Otherwise, you might end up stuck in a sexless, unfulfilling relationship."

And it sounds like sound reasoning.  We test-drive cars before buying them.  We have probation periods for people we hir...

SWM 146 - Legalistic vs Loving Approach to Marriage - Shifting from Rules to Relationship. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

In my work as a marriage coach, I often see couples transition from one type of marriage to another. There’s no clear line between these states, no set of rules that definitively places someone in one category or the other. Yet, by observing how they handle conflict, express themselves, ...

Oct, Nov, Dec 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Talking about a lack of sex
• Not drive due to cancer treatments
• Wife doesn't want to use lube
• Our sex life is routine
• Strap-on to help with premature ejaculation
• Do husbands like handjobs?
• Can a married couple film themselves during sex?
• Is sex better on a full sto...

SWM 144 - Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life.

This led into a larger discussion about why women te...

August 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Exhibitionism
• No sex in 4 months
• Should I disclose previous porn struggles to fiancee
• Other resources
• What qualifies as mutual masturbation
• Need rougher sex to orgasm

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Dealing with differing sex drives in marriag...

Agust 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Wife trades chores for sex
• How to handle no sex due to birth
• Water-based lube that doesn’t cause UTIs
• Guy’s relationships always end in affairs
• Post-childbirth and penis size preferences
• Wife is a gatekeeper

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Sliq...

July 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Wife’s love dependent on mood
• Why don’t you direct people to God?
• Can’t seem to manage other positions
• Wife rejects exploration and being seen
• Nervous about sex outdoors
• Crossdressing rehash

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Responsive vs Spontane...

SWM 139 - Why won't my spouse do x? I would do it for them. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Recently, I’ve noticed a question popping up all over the place. It’s come up in our supporter forum, coaching sessions, emails, comments in our latest survey, and more. This question points to a fundamental tension in many marriages - at the root of it is a self-centric desire. The desire for our spouse to serve ou...

SWM 138 - BDSM Survey Results. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

During July and a bit of August, we ran a survey about people’s BDSM experiences. Depending on who you ask, it was either extensive or just dipping our toes into the topic. In the end, we received over 1,000 complete responses from a wide range of couples, some for whom BDSM is part of their daily life, others who were engaging in BDSM activities...

SWM 137 - Why we don't spank our children. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Last week, Gary Thomas posted an article on his substack on the topic of discipline vs. punishment—not taking a stance but rather offering it up as a controversial conversation starter. Reading it made me curious about something—does your view of hell change your parenting approach? After all, if God is our example, and you believe th...

June 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Wife thinks she has to be mean to our children
• Golden showers (again)
• Wife can’t decide if she loves me or not
• Just because you’re experienced, doesn’t mean you’re qualified

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• SWM 029 - Fantasy affairs, anal sex, ...

SWM 135 - It's good to try new things. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Most kids, when growing up, enter a picky stage at some point.  Some when they’re toddlers, some when they’re young children, some when they become teenagers.  When our 3rd or 4th kid entered this phase, everyone knew the response when they didn’t want to eat something new that we’d made.  “It’s good to try new things.”  They didn’t have ...

May 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• How often should a healthy man need sex?
• Clitoral piercing
• How do we start talking about sex without hurt feelings?
• Is it good to masturbate to stay in a sexless marriage
• Professional nude photos with a male photographer
• Newly married wife only interested in the same sexu...

SWM 133 - Loving your spouse where they are. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

I often give beginner homework to my coaching clients. A few of them will likely read this and think, “He was talking about me.” You’re not wrong, but you’re also not alone.

I give it out frequently because it helps combat some fundamental problems I see in many marriages: resentment, unmet expectations, and continued disappointment....

SWM 132 - Breast implants and body image issues. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

This episode I'm answer a question I received back in February that I forgot to answer. Here's the question:

Hi! To start, I just wanted to say thank you so much for what you do! Your podcast has been immensely eye-opening and helpful! Now, to my question.

I am in my 30s, and my husband and I have been together for 15 years. Ther...