November 19, 2025 • 31 mins
A normal training day. A happy cocker spaniel. Then a sudden shift - arched back, tucked tail, fever, vomiting - and a rush into a world of labs, ultrasound, and impossible choices. We sit with Debbie as she relives Marley’s final hours, from the first quiet signs to an emergency diagnosis of gallbladder mucocele, a condition that often hides.
Beyond medicine lies the heart. Debbie names the shock few dare to say out loud: when a heart dog dies young, grief can break the body. We talk broken heart syndrome, anxiety spikes, and the odd, floating hours after the phone rings. Lauren shares the tools that helped ... therapy, journaling, structure, and a focus on gratitude that doesn’t erase pain but gives it shape. There’s no single right way to mourn. Some people wait before welcoming a new dog; others need a lead in hand. Both paths honour love.
Threaded through the sorrow is Marley’s legacy: tricks that sparked laughter, dance routines that built confidence, and games-based training that turned optimism into a daily habit. Debbie explains why she left aversive methods for kind, reward-based work and how better mechanics ... fading lures, clean reinforcement, simple setups ... made progress stick. At 72, she’s drafting a book, dreaming up a small online venture, and exploring a future with another American cocker, not to replace Marley, but to carry forward the joy he started.
If you’ve ever faced a sudden, devastating diagnosis ... or you want to be ready if it comes ... this conversation offers practical guidance and gentle company. Listen, share Marley’s name, and, if you need it, reach for help. Subscribe, leave a review to support the show, and tell us what legacy your dog left you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:09):
Welcome to the Absolute Dogs Text in a Squirrel
podcast.
I'm Lauren Langman.
I'm one of the world's leadingdog trainers, and it's my
mission to help owners becometheir dog's top priority.
In each episode, you'll discoverhow to gain trust and
communicate with your dog likenever before, creating
unbreakable bonds that make youthe most exciting part of their
world.
Sometimes owning a dog comeswith its downs.
(00:33):
And I actually think downs arefairly rare in owning dogs.
And I feel like I've had my mydog ownership sort of dream for,
I don't know, I've owned dogsfor over 30 years.
And I mean they haven't alwaysbeen my own, they've been family
dogs, but you know what, they'remy dogs in my head.
And some of the saddest timesare are losing a dog.
(00:54):
But I think even more sad thanlosing a dog is losing a dog in
trauma, tragedy, or a young dogor a sudden loss.
And I know that experiencingthat myself, Debbie, it was like
something I'd never felt before.
It was like worse than, and I Iknow you shouldn't say this, and
I'm gonna say it anyway.
(01:14):
For me, it was potentially worsethan losing my parents.
It was worse than losing any I Icouldn't imagine feeling any
more pain.
Like it was the most painfulexperience.
And not only did I go throughthat a year later, almost a year
to date, you went through it.
And it was a horrendousexperience because I was almost
(01:36):
reliving it with you.
You were messaging me, I wasmessaging you back, you're in
Florida, I'm in Devon.
What on earth happened?
Like what happened?
Because it was sudden, wasn'tit?
It was really quick.
SPEAKER_01 (01:47):
Very sudden.
SPEAKER_00 (01:47):
You had a really healthy, healthy dog.
So for those of you who don'tknow, I'm here with Debbie,
Debbie and Marley.
And Marley, I know, has beenloved in the community, as have
you, Debbie, actually.
You've been loved, your journeysall over like Paddington Bear.
You patch your marmalade, you'vegot your suitcase, and off you
go.
I know you won't mind saying howhow old are you and you're
traveling, Debbie?
(02:07):
72.
She's 72, she's traveling acrossthe world.
High five for that becausethat's just gorgeous.
And this little dog, thisspecial little dog, has taken
you on this adventure that youdidn't necessarily see coming.
And you said, like it's been themost amazing adventure.
SPEAKER_02 (02:21):
Yes, it has, very much so.
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
Met so many great people.
SPEAKER_02 (02:24):
I met so many people that are like family now to me.
And I've been here many times,and it is my second home.
SPEAKER_00 (02:32):
It's it's only a few hours away, isn't it?
Only a few.
And um when you you came on thisholiday of a lifetime, and then
you said it was once.
Once.
And how many times are we in?
Probably about eight times.
I love it.
And and yet this huge happinesshas been created, and this huge
joy, and there's this moment ofwhy me, and what the hell is
(02:55):
this about?
And what happened?
SPEAKER_02 (03:00):
Well, I can say that the last day that was normal for
us was on my birthday.
In the States, Memorial Dayfalls toward the end of May, and
May 26th was my birthday, and westarted the day like every other
day.
We had a new badge that we wereworking on, we were working on
(03:21):
Cavaletti.
And you're taking videos,everything looked great.
Everything looked great, and wedid not see anything that would
have looked remotely like aproblem.
The next morning, my husbandsaid he was fine outside, but
when I got up, he didn't come tome as quickly.
(03:44):
He was slower, he didn't seem ashappy, he wasn't wagging his
tail, and he didn't stay withme, he went and laid down.
And when I went over to him, Inoticed he was shivering a
little bit, and I I thought hewas hurting somehow.
Later in the morning, he wasn'twalking normally.
I went to take him out, and hisback was arched and his tail was
(04:07):
tucked, and he'd take a coupleof steps and he'd sit.
SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
So he was showing some pain.
SPEAKER_02 (04:11):
He was showing pain, and I thought he hurt his back.
That's all I could think of.
So I made an appointment withthe vet.
We had an appointment thatafternoon.
He did all kinds ofmanipulations, but right before
we left for the vet, he vomited.
And that's not really thatunusual because he's had times
in the past where he would havea tummy ache or something, and
it would be short-lived.
(04:34):
So we got to the vet and he didmanipulations on his all of his
extremities, down his back.
He said nothing that he couldfind was a problem there.
He jumped up to say hi to thevet tech.
And so, and he was a little moreactive because he was kind of
lethargic during the day beforethe appointment.
(04:56):
So he took his temp because Itold him about the shivering,
and it was 103.1.
And a high end for normal on adog is 102.5.
So it was starting to look likemaybe something was going on,
but because he had just had allof his lab work and his yearly
checkup in January, so just fourmonths prior, we didn't get
(05:21):
labs.
He sent him home withantibiotics just in case there
was something developing, and wehad anti-nausea medication, but
he couldn't keep him down.
And that night he vomited threemore times and again in the
morning.
So I called and I said, I wanthim checked.
I want to know what this is.
We were getting ready to go on acruise.
(05:43):
I'm not gonna leave if he's notwell, and I didn't want to leave
him with anybody, and that wasso close to happening and sad.
So I wanted him worked in withlab work with x-rays, and so
they brought him in thatafternoon.
And when he came when he got thex-rays and and the labs done, he
(06:05):
came in and he said, Is thereanything he could have eaten
that was toxic?
Because of his lab values werejust off the charts.
His liver enzymes were terrible,his white blood count was up.
But we hadn't seen him eatanything, and he's always with
us outside on a leash.
If he's out in the backyard onit by himself, he's always
supervised.
SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
And I remember at that point thinking, God, this
sounds way too familiar.
Like I couldn't understand it.
I couldn't understand what washappening.
I knew I was pushing you to getin faster and push for results
quicker and get blood stun.
And what happened next?
SPEAKER_02 (06:40):
So he said, because he was asking me that, do we
have sago palms in the yard?
Anything he could, and I said,no, that I really don't think
so.
And he said, Well, his liver'sfailing, and we need to get him
hospitalized today.
And we need he needs fluids, heneeds IV antibiotics, he needs
IV nausea medication.
(07:00):
And I didn't want to leave himat the vet because they didn't
have anyone there overnight.
SPEAKER_00 (07:06):
Which sounds completely sensitive.
SPEAKER_02 (07:07):
And you said that you had that same scenario.
SPEAKER_00 (07:09):
Yeah, the same scenario with Tokyo where they'd
said he's gonna stay in thesurgery, and I said no, he's not
staying here, there's no onehere.
And and Tokyo had had like he heneeded he needed 24-7, he needed
vet care.
Exactly.
And we were in a place wherethey didn't do 24-7, which was
very stressful.
Nobody had 24-7 in where we werein France.
You need 24-7 vet care, you needspecialist vet care at that
(07:30):
point.
SPEAKER_02 (07:30):
And and even though I've been going to that practice
for 30 years, we'd had two othercockers before Marley, but he
understood, and I said, We havea new ER right down the street
from us, a pet ER.
And he said, But before I callthe treatment plan, I want to
check his gallbladder.
And I think he was trying tojust think through what could
this be.
SPEAKER_01 (07:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (07:50):
So they took him back and did an ultrasound.
And he came back in and he saidhe has a gallplatter,
gallbladder muco seal.
I had never heard of it before.
He said it's an emergencysurgery.
We need to get it removed.
We don't want it to rupture.
Don't know if it had ruptured atthat point.
(08:11):
I've since learned that half thedogs have a rupture before
they're diagnosed.
Okay.
Because it happens so quickly.
It's a silent type of acondition.
But so we were going to try andget the surgery done that
afternoon.
But it was already 3:30, goingon four o'clock.
(08:31):
And the surgery center where wewere going did not have time.
The other option was an hour anda half away.
This one was 45 minutes away.
And because our vet had usedthem before and was comfortable
there, he said that if that'swhat I wanted to do, just let
him know and he would call itin.
They couldn't do it.
They said to bring him in ateight o'clock the next morning.
(08:53):
So I was a little nervous aboutbringing him home.
I just felt helpless because itwas I couldn't do anything until
the next morning.
But I also did call the poisoncontrol.
SPEAKER_01 (09:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:10):
Even though the the ultrasound did show a mucus
seal, and it looks like a slicedpiece of kiwi on an ultrasound.
It's very recognizable.
I did call poison control and Idid tell them all of his
abnormal labs and what was goingon with what the diagnosis from
RVET was.
(09:30):
And they said it was allconsistent with a gallbladder
mucocyal and that they did notfeel he had ingested anything
toxic.
So that made me feel a littlebit better.
SPEAKER_00 (09:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:41):
So we just had to wait until the next morning.
The surgeon felt that heactually gave me some hope.
Marley was acting more active.
He said he had great bodycondition, and most cockers that
come into them are overweight.
He said it makes it better forrecovery and anesthesia.
(10:03):
But he said it was going to be atwo-hour surgery.
But they did find a nodule onhis spleen, and they said that
they recommended him have hisspleen removed at the same time
because if it came back as amalignancy, they would have to
go back in after a new surgery,a big surgery.
So I agreed to that.
But now I'm starting to get alittle more nervous because now
(10:24):
two organs are going to beremoved.
So he said it would have added15 minutes to the surgery.
And we had already gone throughall the risk factors and
everything before, which is hardto do.
SPEAKER_00 (10:37):
Always, you know, when you sign the forms,
everyone, every you feel thesame.
You feel the same whether you'resigning it for yourself, a
child, whether you're signing itfor a dog, like a cat.
It's a horrible form to signbecause it always gives you the
worst case scenario.
SPEAKER_02 (10:49):
Because he said, I have to ask you the bad
question.
SPEAKER_00 (10:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (10:51):
You know, and it was hard for me even to talk about
it.
But so after an hour and 45minutes, he called back.
And I thought, well, it's alittle early.
Yeah.
But he said that he wanted toconfirm my wishes about CPR
because his heart had stopped onthe table.
It was due to a vagal responsein the body because of the
(11:15):
excessive bleeding from thegallbladder was so inflamed that
it caused excessive bleeding,which triggered that response
that can happen sometimes insurgery.
Unfortunately, it happened toMarley.
And he said it's very hard torecover them when that happens,
but they tried.
(11:39):
But it just it didn't work.
And it was a nightmare.
SPEAKER_00 (11:44):
And I think when something like that happens,
that phone call, thatconversation, that I remember
looking into the eyes of the vettech that came in and said to me
that the bloods for Tokyo werefatal, really, final.
Like if we didn't move him andget him on dialysis, he would
die.
But at that point you kind ofknow where you're going.
(12:05):
And we knew we couldn't get himthere because there was no
dialysis machine within six,seven hours.
SPEAKER_02 (12:15):
It was the most unreal, surreal experience.
It's like an out of body, isn'tit?
It's like you just it's theworst loss I've ever had.
And I even had my husband takethe second call because I just
didn't think I could deal withit.
And you just have to you justhave to try and somehow find a
(12:40):
way to come to grips with it.
And he was only six years old.
And it's one of those silentconditions that can develop so
quickly.
And the surgeon told me it'slike the straw that broke the
camel's back was when it wastotally blocked and not the bile
duct was blocked.
So all that toxin was backingup, the liver enzymes and
(13:04):
everything were high.
And it just that's when thesymptoms started.
He did tell me, because I askedhim a few days later when I had
to make my wishes known abouthis body.
I asked him, I said, Can I askyou a question?
Would it have made a differenceif we had had it done a day
(13:25):
early?
And he said, try not to do thewhat ifs.
SPEAKER_00 (13:28):
No.
SPEAKER_02 (13:29):
He said, I really don't think it would have made a
difference.
You know, his heart stoppedbecause of a condition of a
response with the body that itmight have happened if it had
been a day earlier.
But he said it had rupturedalready.
They found that it had ruptured,which meant his prognosis would
have been a lot poorer.
Probably less than 50%.
(13:50):
And I when I look at it now, Ithink I'm glad he didn't go
through a a two-week plusrecovery that could have been
painful and still he not makeit.
So I'm I'm glad that he didn'thave to go through that part of
it finding out it had ruptured.
So we just deal with not havinghim now.
SPEAKER_00 (14:14):
And I think that's that's probably one of the
hardest moments, isn't it?
The reality that it is what itis.
And I have had, as you know, a acouple of years of loss really.
I've had from from Tokyo to Easyto Dad.
I think uh loss is different andit's so different and it's so
individual.
(14:34):
It is, it's so individual.
Like I can't say that your lossis similar to anyone else's loss
or to anyone else's loss.
There the the feeling of griefis is huge, and the what ifs are
huge and if-onies, and but thereality is it is what it is, and
I think that's probably one ofthe hardest things to sit with
it.
SPEAKER_02 (14:51):
Yes, it is, because I didn't have another dog at
home to love.
And it did, I have to say,affected me physically.
And there is a syndrome calledbroken heart syndrome in with
medicine, and it's true.
But I was wearing a monitorbecause my cardiologist was
concerned about my my healthbecause I have a condition that
(15:14):
my heart will speed up realfast.
SPEAKER_00 (15:17):
So I already was wearing this monitor, but I
found out I had to go to the ERone time because I was having so
many palpitations and like thestress, the anxiety, and sudden
loss, isn't it?
I know Mum has had similar, Iknow you and Mama are chatting
away.
You're good friends, bestbuddies.
I think that that heart monitorshe has has very similar.
(15:40):
And it it when when that thereare those moments of high
stress, really it's high stress,and it is.
SPEAKER_02 (15:45):
And when I was followed up with my
cardiologist, he told me that Ihad a run of 218, which was part
of the syndrome that I have, andI didn't remember it.
And he said, You push thebutton, and I asked him when it
was, and it happened to be thesame date and time as when my
husband brought his ashes home.
So it's just it can reallyphysically affect stress and
(16:08):
emotions can really affect you.
SPEAKER_00 (16:11):
So I suppose knowing your journey with Mali, give us
some of the highlights becausethere are some amazing
highlights.
And I know the same for me.
I you can't the best bit is youcan't take away from what you
had, right?
You you had something amazing,and I think that's something
I've sat with a lot for myselfthat's helped.
These things did happen, andthese things were amazing.
(16:33):
So go on, give us a couple ofhighlights, a couple of really
good moments.
SPEAKER_02 (16:36):
Just being in this community has been one of the
biggest highlights.
SPEAKER_00 (16:41):
And you've been such a brilliant inspiration to the
community.
I know you're part of a cockercommunity, and I know you go in
there and you there with them,don't you?
SPEAKER_02 (16:47):
And they're he's become really popular in both
both the groups, and it makes mefeel good that he is.
But it's also I think one of ourmost favorite things to do
besides just training ingeneral.
And I developed a passion fordog training.
SPEAKER_00 (17:03):
Oh, didn't you just?
Because I mean you were ahairdresser, a nurse, and you
said you've never found yourpurpose.
SPEAKER_02 (17:08):
Never found a lot.
And this is just something thatlit me up every day.
And I think that's what's hardright now, because I don't have
that.
But he loved tricks, absolutelyloved tricks.
SPEAKER_00 (17:21):
And they just made you and him light up, didn't
you?
Like you just and they gave youa bit of a mission and a goal.
SPEAKER_02 (17:26):
He had the biggest smile and that little tail would
wag, and and then we went intodance.
SPEAKER_00 (17:32):
Yeah, absolutely.
And and and your dance and withhim, it was just gorgeously
connected, right?
Just loved it.
SPEAKER_02 (17:40):
And it it really did help his confidence.
He loved Cavalletti.
SPEAKER_00 (17:45):
Yeah, and then hoop.
He was brilliant, that too,wasn't he?
He was a hoop star.
He did.
He was a hoop star.
So I know you said you don'thave that yet.
And I think that's reallyimportant when you said you
don't have another dog at homeand you don't have that sort of
yet.
I think Debbie, you're anamazing trainer.
You've got a huge passion.
(18:06):
And I think this is somethingthat we spoke on this, and you
said you'd never found a passionlike this, right?
Like explain that to everyone.
SPEAKER_02 (18:59):
It's just unless you've unless you've never had
it and then experienced it, it'shard to explain it.
I mean, I was the oldest ofeight kids.
I went cosmetology school, Iwent to nursing school, I spent
25 years as a hairdresser, 20years as a nurse.
And they were nice professions.
It just didn't, it didn't, Ididn't realize how much I was
(19:23):
missing by not having thepassion that I have now with dog
training.
And it just made me so excitedto get up every day and to work
with a little dog like him.
SPEAKER_00 (19:37):
You loved it.
You loved it.
You loved it.
SPEAKER_02 (19:39):
And I am a friend, good friend, suggested that I
write a book.
So I have started doing that.
I've gotten the first threechapters written.
Gorgeous.
And quite a few of the otherlittle parts.
SPEAKER_00 (19:57):
Because I think talking about it and writing it
down or journaling or all ofthose things.
Now, we also said you haven'tgot that at home right now.
What are your plans?
SPEAKER_02 (20:09):
I'm working and in contact with a few breeders, and
there's some options for laterin the year, first part of next
year, that I want to get anotherAmerican cocker.
I just love the breed.
He'll be it would be my fourthone.
I was just worried about my agea little bit because if the next
(20:29):
one lives as long as Marley'spredecessor was 17, Buddy was
17.
And I thought he was the bestdog.
He was not reactive to things.
He took everything in stride.
He lived to 17.
And if Marley lives to, I mean,if our next one lives to 17,
I'll be let's not.
SPEAKER_00 (20:50):
Let's not.
You've got a lot of a communityaround you, you don't even need
to think about it.
So I think the biggie here, andI think this is this is
important, is that actually youare looking forward.
Yeah.
So as much as you have lovedyour journey here, there's still
an opportunity to look forward.
SPEAKER_02 (21:09):
And I am considering a business.
SPEAKER_00 (21:13):
Oh, listen to this.
I love this.
Go on, tell everyone about it.
SPEAKER_02 (21:16):
Well, it's in the early stages, but I can't plug
it.
I've had I a couple of yearsago, I started a website and
never finished it.
And the business was going to bejoyful wiggle butts.
SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
Yeah, because they do have a wiggle butt, don't
they?
Katie has this wiggle butt.
Like she really wiggles.
SPEAKER_02 (21:36):
I just I kept I have imposter syndrome really bad.
And I'm worried about my age.
And but I am gonna think I'mgonna start developing that
more.
And I want to do online, maybestick with puppies or even just
pop spaniels.
And tricks and tricks, and yeah,and just show how tricks can be
(21:57):
strung together into danceroutines.
And even though they weren'tperfect dances, they were
perfect for us.
SPEAKER_00 (22:03):
Oh, they were so beautiful, and you and him just
had that sync, that connection.
Now, you talked about workingwith a couple of other breeders
to try and find maybe yourfuture, your future pal.
And I think this is somethingthat so many people get they
they feel very guilty about, orthey feel very like they're
trying to replace something, orand and I think this is
something that's important totalk on.
We've lost two young dogs.
(22:24):
We lost Riot, who um was Matt'syoung dog, that must be about 12
years ago, I would guess, 13years ago, a long time ago.
We lost him at four, and we lostTokyo at five.
And for me, we both dealt withthat very differently.
Matt didn't want another dog,and I desperately did.
And some people heal in one way,and some people heal in another,
(22:45):
and some people need a realabsence, and other people need a
connection.
And whichever you are, andwhichever you guys are at home,
it's okay, and it's okay to bethat.
And I know that Molly wouldalways love to see you happy in
training and doing all the goodthings.
SPEAKER_02 (23:01):
Well, I think as would you him.
I think that I can use what hetaught me to help other people.
SPEAKER_00 (23:08):
And for example, you started Molly in what in what
way?
How did how did Molly's trainingstart?
Because he didn't always startwith games-based learning,
right?
SPEAKER_02 (23:15):
And that's how it led me to absolute dogs, is
because there were some methodsthat I was being told to use
that I just didn't agree with.
And when the the last trainerused the choke chain, and I just
couldn't, I couldn't feelcomfortable using it.
And she told me, well, for somereason he doesn't think he needs
(23:36):
to listen to you.
You're too nice.
And that was like the turningpoint right there, because I'm
not gonna change who I am.
I'm not gonna change the way Ithink a dog should be treated.
And I knew there had to be akinder way out there.
And when I found you guys, itjust I really got tears.
SPEAKER_00 (23:55):
Oh, I love that.
And I love that you immediatelyfelt that you'd found your home,
hadn't you?
You'd found your home in dogtraining and you haven't really
been anywhere since.
To the point that actually youwere scared to go to another dog
training class because youdidn't ever want him to go
through that.
You didn't want him to gothrough that.
And and this is, I suppose, oneone of those sort of good things
that you'll get to do.
(24:16):
You'll get to do it from thestart.
SPEAKER_02 (24:18):
Does that excite you?
It it does.
And there's some things that Iknow that I can do better.
For example, I didn't realize, Imean, he learned very well with
luring, and I did not fade itquick enough to where it was
very hard because he expected tobe shown always watching my
(24:39):
hands, and I think that knowingmore about mechanics now, I
mean, I love your your classeson that, that I think that's
gonna make some of the stageseasier.
SPEAKER_00 (24:50):
Way easier.
SPEAKER_02 (24:52):
And so, even some lessons that I learned.
I mean, there was one point thatwe've had hurricanes several
times.
And just because of all thegames that we played for
confidence and optimism, thehurricanes were just not a big
deal.
We got through that, we playedgames, he didn't, he was not
(25:14):
scared, he was a little nervousbecause of the loud noise, but
it just it was wonderful.
And also, I filmed a lot of oursessions a lot.
I have thousands.
SPEAKER_00 (25:26):
That's I mean, that's such a lovely thing,
isn't it?
Because for me, I find it hardto go back and watch Tokyo.
I haven't had a dog like that.
He's like one of a kind um forme, and I have had other dogs
and I've still got other dogs,and for me, uh, it goes through
your head, isn't it?
Why him?
Yeah, why why him?
Why him?
And again, you might feel guiltyfor saying that.
(25:48):
I did, I felt guilty for sayingit, but I was like, why him when
there are so many dogs that areaggressive, unwanted, out there
not in pounds, like on put tosleep registers, or have bitten,
or why this dog?
Why this dog?
SPEAKER_02 (26:01):
And yet, I suppose they're gonna leave some kind of
legacy behind.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
When you watch those videos, you also realize quite
how when you watch those videos,you also realize quite how how
much they've also been able toteach the world, how much
they've been able to becauseyour journey, you've got people
all over the world, haven't you?
This week here in Devon, peoplehave come up and said, Debbie,
Debbie with Marley.
SPEAKER_02 (26:25):
I know, they know me, and I I wish I knew
everybody that has it just I'mso I love that he touched
people.
SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
And I hope he can continue to touch people with
your journey, your journey has,your journey has, and the more
that you're sharing, I've saidyou've got full permission to
share as much as you like in thecommunity.
You have full permission if youwant to put things on the
absolute dogs page, there isfull permission.
I think that a journey like thatis so special.
It's so special, and I thinkit's your way of I remember
(26:57):
watching a movie and andbasically it said we're not
forgotten until it stops playingor stops being talked about.
SPEAKER_01 (27:03):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (27:04):
And I like that.
I think it's maybe uh maybe aMexican tradition or something
similar, Native American maybe,but but it was definitely that
type of mentality of the it'sthe tradition of when you stop
talking about it, that's whenit's done.
Let's not stop.
SPEAKER_02 (27:18):
Yeah, and everybody up here has been so wonderful
and supportive, and it's reallyhelped me get through some of
the the pain.
SPEAKER_00 (27:25):
Being here alone.
Being here alone, you can seethat you've healed day by day.
Yeah.
So each day you seem a littlebit stronger, a little bit more
level, a little bit morebreathing in the air, taking in
the countr countryside, takingin the culture, like that you're
in your happy place.
SPEAKER_02 (27:39):
It's only been nine weeks, so it's still fairly very
early days.
But I know that I can getthrough it, and I I'm in the
best place to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (27:47):
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
Now, Debbie, anybody who'slistening, I know they're gonna
love hearing about Marley,seeing Marley.
Guys, if you want to see more onMarley, I know that Debbie,
you've got more to share.
So we'll make sure some goes outon the um absolute dogs page.
Let's put a video together andlet's maybe have that out on the
absolute dogs main page sopeople can see it.
And please share in thecommunity in the circle space as
(28:10):
well.
For anyone who's listening,who's struggling, who's had a
tough time.
You know what the other thingI'm gonna say, and I'm gonna say
this completely aware of it formyself.
I I did have a level of therapyafter losing my dog.
And I can see that it was it wasall of it was all of it for me,
losing everyone, but probably mydog most.
And so don't feel shy of havingsome help.
(28:31):
I think having help for me, itgave me huge perspective, it
gave me huge gratitude, it gaveme an ability to anchor on what
was good, and it also gave me anability to hold on to what we
had had and also appreciatewhere we were, where we are now.
And so, if there is anopportunity for you to receive
(28:51):
help, whether that in the UK wehave free help that we can get,
like talk sort of works that youcan get hold of, or various
through GP or through yourdoctor, equally there is paid
help as well.
And and that's what I did.
I went and got a great, a greattherapist actually, and she's
worked with me ever since losingTokyo because I I just didn't
have I didn't have a handle onit.
(29:11):
I really didn't have a handle onit.
I just couldn't get with it.
And and for me, the trauma of itis different.
It's I've lost lots of dogs,I've lost elderly dogs.
I I lost my first dog, Baron,when I was four, and I was
there, and I I I remember like Ilost Bella, I lost Lucy, I
remember losing them.
I remember Poppy putting tosleep in the field.
I remember all those moments,but never had I felt sadness
like this.
SPEAKER_02 (29:31):
It's the same with me.
I had many dogs die over theyears, and it just was not like
this.
SPEAKER_00 (29:36):
This is a trauma.
This is a trauma.
I never had a heart dog thatthey what they call a heart dog,
and now I understand completelywhat that was, and the trauma of
for me hearing your hearing yourmessages and realizing there was
like a point at what you reallylean in, and there's a point at
what to run away from it becauseI could feel every bit of that.
SPEAKER_01 (29:55):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (29:55):
Like I I knew it so well, and and it being a year
since I'd lost Tokyo, I knew itall so well, like I was feeling
it all for you, and and I thinkthat level of trauma is so
different.
So, guys, if you're listeningand you need some help, don't be
scared to reach out, don't bescared to find the therapy or
the talkworks or whatever is thefree service local to you, or
for me it was a paid service.
(30:16):
And um, I work with a lady stillevery three to four weeks, and I
have a session, I process, Italk it through.
It's just given me better umskills to deal with it.
SPEAKER_02 (30:27):
And I just want to thank everybody in the community
that gave me so many lovelymessages.
I couldn't respond individuallyto everybody, but they meant so
much to me, knowing that he wasloved like he was, and it just
meant a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (30:43):
Thank you for being here, Debbie.
Thank you for telling everybodyyour story.
SPEAKER_02 (30:46):
Thank you so much for letting me share his story.
SPEAKER_00 (30:48):
And let's keep sharing his story, and everyone
cannot wait to hear about yourfuture.
Welcome to the Absolute Dogs Text in a Squirrel
podcast.
I'm Lauren Langman.
I'm one of the world's leadingdog trainers, and it's my
mission to help owners becometheir dog's top priority.
In each episode, you'll discoverhow to gain trust and
communicate with your dog likenever before, creating
unbreakable bonds that make youthe most exciting part of their
world.
Sometimes owning a dog comeswith its downs.
(00:33):
And I actually think downs arefairly rare in owning dogs.
And I feel like I've had my mydog ownership sort of dream for,
I don't know, I've owned dogsfor over 30 years.
And I mean they haven't alwaysbeen my own, they've been family
dogs, but you know what, they'remy dogs in my head.
And some of the saddest timesare are losing a dog.
(00:54):
But I think even more sad thanlosing a dog is losing a dog in
trauma, tragedy, or a young dogor a sudden loss.
And I know that experiencingthat myself, Debbie, it was like
something I'd never felt before.
It was like worse than, and I Iknow you shouldn't say this, and
I'm gonna say it anyway.
(01:14):
For me, it was potentially worsethan losing my parents.
It was worse than losing any I Icouldn't imagine feeling any
more pain.
Like it was the most painfulexperience.
And not only did I go throughthat a year later, almost a year
to date, you went through it.
And it was a horrendousexperience because I was almost
(01:36):
reliving it with you.
You were messaging me, I wasmessaging you back, you're in
Florida, I'm in Devon.
What on earth happened?
Like what happened?
Because it was sudden, wasn'tit?
It was really quick.
SPEAKER_01 (01:47):
Very sudden.
SPEAKER_00 (01:47):
You had a really healthy, healthy dog.
So for those of you who don'tknow, I'm here with Debbie,
Debbie and Marley.
And Marley, I know, has beenloved in the community, as have
you, Debbie, actually.
You've been loved, your journeysall over like Paddington Bear.
You patch your marmalade, you'vegot your suitcase, and off you
go.
I know you won't mind saying howhow old are you and you're
traveling, Debbie?
(02:07):
72.
She's 72, she's traveling acrossthe world.
High five for that becausethat's just gorgeous.
And this little dog, thisspecial little dog, has taken
you on this adventure that youdidn't necessarily see coming.
And you said, like it's been themost amazing adventure.
SPEAKER_02 (02:21):
Yes, it has, very much so.
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
Met so many great people.
SPEAKER_02 (02:24):
I met so many people that are like family now to me.
And I've been here many times,and it is my second home.
SPEAKER_00 (02:32):
It's it's only a few hours away, isn't it?
Only a few.
And um when you you came on thisholiday of a lifetime, and then
you said it was once.
Once.
And how many times are we in?
Probably about eight times.
I love it.
And and yet this huge happinesshas been created, and this huge
joy, and there's this moment ofwhy me, and what the hell is
(02:55):
this about?
And what happened?
SPEAKER_02 (03:00):
Well, I can say that the last day that was normal for
us was on my birthday.
In the States, Memorial Dayfalls toward the end of May, and
May 26th was my birthday, and westarted the day like every other
day.
We had a new badge that we wereworking on, we were working on
(03:21):
Cavaletti.
And you're taking videos,everything looked great.
Everything looked great, and wedid not see anything that would
have looked remotely like aproblem.
The next morning, my husbandsaid he was fine outside, but
when I got up, he didn't come tome as quickly.
(03:44):
He was slower, he didn't seem ashappy, he wasn't wagging his
tail, and he didn't stay withme, he went and laid down.
And when I went over to him, Inoticed he was shivering a
little bit, and I I thought hewas hurting somehow.
Later in the morning, he wasn'twalking normally.
I went to take him out, and hisback was arched and his tail was
(04:07):
tucked, and he'd take a coupleof steps and he'd sit.
SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
So he was showing some pain.
SPEAKER_02 (04:11):
He was showing pain, and I thought he hurt his back.
That's all I could think of.
So I made an appointment withthe vet.
We had an appointment thatafternoon.
He did all kinds ofmanipulations, but right before
we left for the vet, he vomited.
And that's not really thatunusual because he's had times
in the past where he would havea tummy ache or something, and
it would be short-lived.
(04:34):
So we got to the vet and he didmanipulations on his all of his
extremities, down his back.
He said nothing that he couldfind was a problem there.
He jumped up to say hi to thevet tech.
And so, and he was a little moreactive because he was kind of
lethargic during the day beforethe appointment.
(04:56):
So he took his temp because Itold him about the shivering,
and it was 103.1.
And a high end for normal on adog is 102.5.
So it was starting to look likemaybe something was going on,
but because he had just had allof his lab work and his yearly
checkup in January, so just fourmonths prior, we didn't get
(05:21):
labs.
He sent him home withantibiotics just in case there
was something developing, and wehad anti-nausea medication, but
he couldn't keep him down.
And that night he vomited threemore times and again in the
morning.
So I called and I said, I wanthim checked.
I want to know what this is.
We were getting ready to go on acruise.
(05:43):
I'm not gonna leave if he's notwell, and I didn't want to leave
him with anybody, and that wasso close to happening and sad.
So I wanted him worked in withlab work with x-rays, and so
they brought him in thatafternoon.
And when he came when he got thex-rays and and the labs done, he
(06:05):
came in and he said, Is thereanything he could have eaten
that was toxic?
Because of his lab values werejust off the charts.
His liver enzymes were terrible,his white blood count was up.
But we hadn't seen him eatanything, and he's always with
us outside on a leash.
If he's out in the backyard onit by himself, he's always
supervised.
SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
And I remember at that point thinking, God, this
sounds way too familiar.
Like I couldn't understand it.
I couldn't understand what washappening.
I knew I was pushing you to getin faster and push for results
quicker and get blood stun.
And what happened next?
SPEAKER_02 (06:40):
So he said, because he was asking me that, do we
have sago palms in the yard?
Anything he could, and I said,no, that I really don't think
so.
And he said, Well, his liver'sfailing, and we need to get him
hospitalized today.
And we need he needs fluids, heneeds IV antibiotics, he needs
IV nausea medication.
(07:00):
And I didn't want to leave himat the vet because they didn't
have anyone there overnight.
SPEAKER_00 (07:06):
Which sounds completely sensitive.
SPEAKER_02 (07:07):
And you said that you had that same scenario.
SPEAKER_00 (07:09):
Yeah, the same scenario with Tokyo where they'd
said he's gonna stay in thesurgery, and I said no, he's not
staying here, there's no onehere.
And and Tokyo had had like he heneeded he needed 24-7, he needed
vet care.
Exactly.
And we were in a place wherethey didn't do 24-7, which was
very stressful.
Nobody had 24-7 in where we werein France.
You need 24-7 vet care, you needspecialist vet care at that
(07:30):
point.
SPEAKER_02 (07:30):
And and even though I've been going to that practice
for 30 years, we'd had two othercockers before Marley, but he
understood, and I said, We havea new ER right down the street
from us, a pet ER.
And he said, But before I callthe treatment plan, I want to
check his gallbladder.
And I think he was trying tojust think through what could
this be.
SPEAKER_01 (07:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (07:50):
So they took him back and did an ultrasound.
And he came back in and he saidhe has a gallplatter,
gallbladder muco seal.
I had never heard of it before.
He said it's an emergencysurgery.
We need to get it removed.
We don't want it to rupture.
Don't know if it had ruptured atthat point.
(08:11):
I've since learned that half thedogs have a rupture before
they're diagnosed.
Okay.
Because it happens so quickly.
It's a silent type of acondition.
But so we were going to try andget the surgery done that
afternoon.
But it was already 3:30, goingon four o'clock.
(08:31):
And the surgery center where wewere going did not have time.
The other option was an hour anda half away.
This one was 45 minutes away.
And because our vet had usedthem before and was comfortable
there, he said that if that'swhat I wanted to do, just let
him know and he would call itin.
They couldn't do it.
They said to bring him in ateight o'clock the next morning.
(08:53):
So I was a little nervous aboutbringing him home.
I just felt helpless because itwas I couldn't do anything until
the next morning.
But I also did call the poisoncontrol.
SPEAKER_01 (09:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:10):
Even though the the ultrasound did show a mucus
seal, and it looks like a slicedpiece of kiwi on an ultrasound.
It's very recognizable.
I did call poison control and Idid tell them all of his
abnormal labs and what was goingon with what the diagnosis from
RVET was.
(09:30):
And they said it was allconsistent with a gallbladder
mucocyal and that they did notfeel he had ingested anything
toxic.
So that made me feel a littlebit better.
SPEAKER_00 (09:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:41):
So we just had to wait until the next morning.
The surgeon felt that heactually gave me some hope.
Marley was acting more active.
He said he had great bodycondition, and most cockers that
come into them are overweight.
He said it makes it better forrecovery and anesthesia.
(10:03):
But he said it was going to be atwo-hour surgery.
But they did find a nodule onhis spleen, and they said that
they recommended him have hisspleen removed at the same time
because if it came back as amalignancy, they would have to
go back in after a new surgery,a big surgery.
So I agreed to that.
But now I'm starting to get alittle more nervous because now
(10:24):
two organs are going to beremoved.
So he said it would have added15 minutes to the surgery.
And we had already gone throughall the risk factors and
everything before, which is hardto do.
SPEAKER_00 (10:37):
Always, you know, when you sign the forms,
everyone, every you feel thesame.
You feel the same whether you'resigning it for yourself, a
child, whether you're signing itfor a dog, like a cat.
It's a horrible form to signbecause it always gives you the
worst case scenario.
SPEAKER_02 (10:49):
Because he said, I have to ask you the bad
question.
SPEAKER_00 (10:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (10:51):
You know, and it was hard for me even to talk about
it.
But so after an hour and 45minutes, he called back.
And I thought, well, it's alittle early.
Yeah.
But he said that he wanted toconfirm my wishes about CPR
because his heart had stopped onthe table.
It was due to a vagal responsein the body because of the
(11:15):
excessive bleeding from thegallbladder was so inflamed that
it caused excessive bleeding,which triggered that response
that can happen sometimes insurgery.
Unfortunately, it happened toMarley.
And he said it's very hard torecover them when that happens,
but they tried.
(11:39):
But it just it didn't work.
And it was a nightmare.
SPEAKER_00 (11:44):
And I think when something like that happens,
that phone call, thatconversation, that I remember
looking into the eyes of the vettech that came in and said to me
that the bloods for Tokyo werefatal, really, final.
Like if we didn't move him andget him on dialysis, he would
die.
But at that point you kind ofknow where you're going.
(12:05):
And we knew we couldn't get himthere because there was no
dialysis machine within six,seven hours.
SPEAKER_02 (12:15):
It was the most unreal, surreal experience.
It's like an out of body, isn'tit?
It's like you just it's theworst loss I've ever had.
And I even had my husband takethe second call because I just
didn't think I could deal withit.
And you just have to you justhave to try and somehow find a
(12:40):
way to come to grips with it.
And he was only six years old.
And it's one of those silentconditions that can develop so
quickly.
And the surgeon told me it'slike the straw that broke the
camel's back was when it wastotally blocked and not the bile
duct was blocked.
So all that toxin was backingup, the liver enzymes and
(13:04):
everything were high.
And it just that's when thesymptoms started.
He did tell me, because I askedhim a few days later when I had
to make my wishes known abouthis body.
I asked him, I said, Can I askyou a question?
Would it have made a differenceif we had had it done a day
(13:25):
early?
And he said, try not to do thewhat ifs.
SPEAKER_00 (13:28):
No.
SPEAKER_02 (13:29):
He said, I really don't think it would have made a
difference.
You know, his heart stoppedbecause of a condition of a
response with the body that itmight have happened if it had
been a day earlier.
But he said it had rupturedalready.
They found that it had ruptured,which meant his prognosis would
have been a lot poorer.
Probably less than 50%.
(13:50):
And I when I look at it now, Ithink I'm glad he didn't go
through a a two-week plusrecovery that could have been
painful and still he not makeit.
So I'm I'm glad that he didn'thave to go through that part of
it finding out it had ruptured.
So we just deal with not havinghim now.
SPEAKER_00 (14:14):
And I think that's that's probably one of the
hardest moments, isn't it?
The reality that it is what itis.
And I have had, as you know, a acouple of years of loss really.
I've had from from Tokyo to Easyto Dad.
I think uh loss is different andit's so different and it's so
individual.
(14:34):
It is, it's so individual.
Like I can't say that your lossis similar to anyone else's loss
or to anyone else's loss.
There the the feeling of griefis is huge, and the what ifs are
huge and if-onies, and but thereality is it is what it is, and
I think that's probably one ofthe hardest things to sit with
it.
SPEAKER_02 (14:51):
Yes, it is, because I didn't have another dog at
home to love.
And it did, I have to say,affected me physically.
And there is a syndrome calledbroken heart syndrome in with
medicine, and it's true.
But I was wearing a monitorbecause my cardiologist was
concerned about my my healthbecause I have a condition that
(15:14):
my heart will speed up realfast.
SPEAKER_00 (15:17):
So I already was wearing this monitor, but I
found out I had to go to the ERone time because I was having so
many palpitations and like thestress, the anxiety, and sudden
loss, isn't it?
I know Mum has had similar, Iknow you and Mama are chatting
away.
You're good friends, bestbuddies.
I think that that heart monitorshe has has very similar.
(15:40):
And it it when when that thereare those moments of high
stress, really it's high stress,and it is.
SPEAKER_02 (15:45):
And when I was followed up with my
cardiologist, he told me that Ihad a run of 218, which was part
of the syndrome that I have, andI didn't remember it.
And he said, You push thebutton, and I asked him when it
was, and it happened to be thesame date and time as when my
husband brought his ashes home.
So it's just it can reallyphysically affect stress and
(16:08):
emotions can really affect you.
SPEAKER_00 (16:11):
So I suppose knowing your journey with Mali, give us
some of the highlights becausethere are some amazing
highlights.
And I know the same for me.
I you can't the best bit is youcan't take away from what you
had, right?
You you had something amazing,and I think that's something
I've sat with a lot for myselfthat's helped.
These things did happen, andthese things were amazing.
(16:33):
So go on, give us a couple ofhighlights, a couple of really
good moments.
SPEAKER_02 (16:36):
Just being in this community has been one of the
biggest highlights.
SPEAKER_00 (16:41):
And you've been such a brilliant inspiration to the
community.
I know you're part of a cockercommunity, and I know you go in
there and you there with them,don't you?
SPEAKER_02 (16:47):
And they're he's become really popular in both
both the groups, and it makes mefeel good that he is.
But it's also I think one of ourmost favorite things to do
besides just training ingeneral.
And I developed a passion fordog training.
SPEAKER_00 (17:03):
Oh, didn't you just?
Because I mean you were ahairdresser, a nurse, and you
said you've never found yourpurpose.
SPEAKER_02 (17:08):
Never found a lot.
And this is just something thatlit me up every day.
And I think that's what's hardright now, because I don't have
that.
But he loved tricks, absolutelyloved tricks.
SPEAKER_00 (17:21):
And they just made you and him light up, didn't
you?
Like you just and they gave youa bit of a mission and a goal.
SPEAKER_02 (17:26):
He had the biggest smile and that little tail would
wag, and and then we went intodance.
SPEAKER_00 (17:32):
Yeah, absolutely.
And and and your dance and withhim, it was just gorgeously
connected, right?
Just loved it.
SPEAKER_02 (17:40):
And it it really did help his confidence.
He loved Cavalletti.
SPEAKER_00 (17:45):
Yeah, and then hoop.
He was brilliant, that too,wasn't he?
He was a hoop star.
He did.
He was a hoop star.
So I know you said you don'thave that yet.
And I think that's reallyimportant when you said you
don't have another dog at homeand you don't have that sort of
yet.
I think Debbie, you're anamazing trainer.
You've got a huge passion.
(18:06):
And I think this is somethingthat we spoke on this, and you
said you'd never found a passionlike this, right?
Like explain that to everyone.
SPEAKER_02 (18:59):
It's just unless you've unless you've never had
it and then experienced it, it'shard to explain it.
I mean, I was the oldest ofeight kids.
I went cosmetology school, Iwent to nursing school, I spent
25 years as a hairdresser, 20years as a nurse.
And they were nice professions.
It just didn't, it didn't, Ididn't realize how much I was
(19:23):
missing by not having thepassion that I have now with dog
training.
And it just made me so excitedto get up every day and to work
with a little dog like him.
SPEAKER_00 (19:37):
You loved it.
You loved it.
You loved it.
SPEAKER_02 (19:39):
And I am a friend, good friend, suggested that I
write a book.
So I have started doing that.
I've gotten the first threechapters written.
Gorgeous.
And quite a few of the otherlittle parts.
SPEAKER_00 (19:57):
Because I think talking about it and writing it
down or journaling or all ofthose things.
Now, we also said you haven'tgot that at home right now.
What are your plans?
SPEAKER_02 (20:09):
I'm working and in contact with a few breeders, and
there's some options for laterin the year, first part of next
year, that I want to get anotherAmerican cocker.
I just love the breed.
He'll be it would be my fourthone.
I was just worried about my agea little bit because if the next
(20:29):
one lives as long as Marley'spredecessor was 17, Buddy was
17.
And I thought he was the bestdog.
He was not reactive to things.
He took everything in stride.
He lived to 17.
And if Marley lives to, I mean,if our next one lives to 17,
I'll be let's not.
SPEAKER_00 (20:50):
Let's not.
You've got a lot of a communityaround you, you don't even need
to think about it.
So I think the biggie here, andI think this is this is
important, is that actually youare looking forward.
Yeah.
So as much as you have lovedyour journey here, there's still
an opportunity to look forward.
SPEAKER_02 (21:09):
And I am considering a business.
SPEAKER_00 (21:13):
Oh, listen to this.
I love this.
Go on, tell everyone about it.
SPEAKER_02 (21:16):
Well, it's in the early stages, but I can't plug
it.
I've had I a couple of yearsago, I started a website and
never finished it.
And the business was going to bejoyful wiggle butts.
SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
Yeah, because they do have a wiggle butt, don't
they?
Katie has this wiggle butt.
Like she really wiggles.
SPEAKER_02 (21:36):
I just I kept I have imposter syndrome really bad.
And I'm worried about my age.
And but I am gonna think I'mgonna start developing that
more.
And I want to do online, maybestick with puppies or even just
pop spaniels.
And tricks and tricks, and yeah,and just show how tricks can be
(21:57):
strung together into danceroutines.
And even though they weren'tperfect dances, they were
perfect for us.
SPEAKER_00 (22:03):
Oh, they were so beautiful, and you and him just
had that sync, that connection.
Now, you talked about workingwith a couple of other breeders
to try and find maybe yourfuture, your future pal.
And I think this is somethingthat so many people get they
they feel very guilty about, orthey feel very like they're
trying to replace something, orand and I think this is
something that's important totalk on.
We've lost two young dogs.
(22:24):
We lost Riot, who um was Matt'syoung dog, that must be about 12
years ago, I would guess, 13years ago, a long time ago.
We lost him at four, and we lostTokyo at five.
And for me, we both dealt withthat very differently.
Matt didn't want another dog,and I desperately did.
And some people heal in one way,and some people heal in another,
(22:45):
and some people need a realabsence, and other people need a
connection.
And whichever you are, andwhichever you guys are at home,
it's okay, and it's okay to bethat.
And I know that Molly wouldalways love to see you happy in
training and doing all the goodthings.
SPEAKER_02 (23:01):
Well, I think as would you him.
I think that I can use what hetaught me to help other people.
SPEAKER_00 (23:08):
And for example, you started Molly in what in what
way?
How did how did Molly's trainingstart?
Because he didn't always startwith games-based learning,
right?
SPEAKER_02 (23:15):
And that's how it led me to absolute dogs, is
because there were some methodsthat I was being told to use
that I just didn't agree with.
And when the the last trainerused the choke chain, and I just
couldn't, I couldn't feelcomfortable using it.
And she told me, well, for somereason he doesn't think he needs
(23:36):
to listen to you.
You're too nice.
And that was like the turningpoint right there, because I'm
not gonna change who I am.
I'm not gonna change the way Ithink a dog should be treated.
And I knew there had to be akinder way out there.
And when I found you guys, itjust I really got tears.
SPEAKER_00 (23:55):
Oh, I love that.
And I love that you immediatelyfelt that you'd found your home,
hadn't you?
You'd found your home in dogtraining and you haven't really
been anywhere since.
To the point that actually youwere scared to go to another dog
training class because youdidn't ever want him to go
through that.
You didn't want him to gothrough that.
And and this is, I suppose, oneone of those sort of good things
that you'll get to do.
(24:16):
You'll get to do it from thestart.
SPEAKER_02 (24:18):
Does that excite you?
It it does.
And there's some things that Iknow that I can do better.
For example, I didn't realize, Imean, he learned very well with
luring, and I did not fade itquick enough to where it was
very hard because he expected tobe shown always watching my
(24:39):
hands, and I think that knowingmore about mechanics now, I
mean, I love your your classeson that, that I think that's
gonna make some of the stageseasier.
SPEAKER_00 (24:50):
Way easier.
SPEAKER_02 (24:52):
And so, even some lessons that I learned.
I mean, there was one point thatwe've had hurricanes several
times.
And just because of all thegames that we played for
confidence and optimism, thehurricanes were just not a big
deal.
We got through that, we playedgames, he didn't, he was not
(25:14):
scared, he was a little nervousbecause of the loud noise, but
it just it was wonderful.
And also, I filmed a lot of oursessions a lot.
I have thousands.
SPEAKER_00 (25:26):
That's I mean, that's such a lovely thing,
isn't it?
Because for me, I find it hardto go back and watch Tokyo.
I haven't had a dog like that.
He's like one of a kind um forme, and I have had other dogs
and I've still got other dogs,and for me, uh, it goes through
your head, isn't it?
Why him?
Yeah, why why him?
Why him?
And again, you might feel guiltyfor saying that.
(25:48):
I did, I felt guilty for sayingit, but I was like, why him when
there are so many dogs that areaggressive, unwanted, out there
not in pounds, like on put tosleep registers, or have bitten,
or why this dog?
Why this dog?
SPEAKER_02 (26:01):
And yet, I suppose they're gonna leave some kind of
legacy behind.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
When you watch those videos, you also realize quite
how when you watch those videos,you also realize quite how how
much they've also been able toteach the world, how much
they've been able to becauseyour journey, you've got people
all over the world, haven't you?
This week here in Devon, peoplehave come up and said, Debbie,
Debbie with Marley.
SPEAKER_02 (26:25):
I know, they know me, and I I wish I knew
everybody that has it just I'mso I love that he touched
people.
SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
And I hope he can continue to touch people with
your journey, your journey has,your journey has, and the more
that you're sharing, I've saidyou've got full permission to
share as much as you like in thecommunity.
You have full permission if youwant to put things on the
absolute dogs page, there isfull permission.
I think that a journey like thatis so special.
It's so special, and I thinkit's your way of I remember
(26:57):
watching a movie and andbasically it said we're not
forgotten until it stops playingor stops being talked about.
SPEAKER_01 (27:03):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (27:04):
And I like that.
I think it's maybe uh maybe aMexican tradition or something
similar, Native American maybe,but but it was definitely that
type of mentality of the it'sthe tradition of when you stop
talking about it, that's whenit's done.
Let's not stop.
SPEAKER_02 (27:18):
Yeah, and everybody up here has been so wonderful
and supportive, and it's reallyhelped me get through some of
the the pain.
SPEAKER_00 (27:25):
Being here alone.
Being here alone, you can seethat you've healed day by day.
Yeah.
So each day you seem a littlebit stronger, a little bit more
level, a little bit morebreathing in the air, taking in
the countr countryside, takingin the culture, like that you're
in your happy place.
SPEAKER_02 (27:39):
It's only been nine weeks, so it's still fairly very
early days.
But I know that I can getthrough it, and I I'm in the
best place to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (27:47):
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
Now, Debbie, anybody who'slistening, I know they're gonna
love hearing about Marley,seeing Marley.
Guys, if you want to see more onMarley, I know that Debbie,
you've got more to share.
So we'll make sure some goes outon the um absolute dogs page.
Let's put a video together andlet's maybe have that out on the
absolute dogs main page sopeople can see it.
And please share in thecommunity in the circle space as
(28:10):
well.
For anyone who's listening,who's struggling, who's had a
tough time.
You know what the other thingI'm gonna say, and I'm gonna say
this completely aware of it formyself.
I I did have a level of therapyafter losing my dog.
And I can see that it was it wasall of it was all of it for me,
losing everyone, but probably mydog most.
And so don't feel shy of havingsome help.
(28:31):
I think having help for me, itgave me huge perspective, it
gave me huge gratitude, it gaveme an ability to anchor on what
was good, and it also gave me anability to hold on to what we
had had and also appreciatewhere we were, where we are now.
And so, if there is anopportunity for you to receive
(28:51):
help, whether that in the UK wehave free help that we can get,
like talk sort of works that youcan get hold of, or various
through GP or through yourdoctor, equally there is paid
help as well.
And and that's what I did.
I went and got a great, a greattherapist actually, and she's
worked with me ever since losingTokyo because I I just didn't
have I didn't have a handle onit.
(29:11):
I really didn't have a handle onit.
I just couldn't get with it.
And and for me, the trauma of itis different.
It's I've lost lots of dogs,I've lost elderly dogs.
I I lost my first dog, Baron,when I was four, and I was
there, and I I I remember like Ilost Bella, I lost Lucy, I
remember losing them.
I remember Poppy putting tosleep in the field.
I remember all those moments,but never had I felt sadness
like this.
SPEAKER_02 (29:31):
It's the same with me.
I had many dogs die over theyears, and it just was not like
this.
SPEAKER_00 (29:36):
This is a trauma.
This is a trauma.
I never had a heart dog thatthey what they call a heart dog,
and now I understand completelywhat that was, and the trauma of
for me hearing your hearing yourmessages and realizing there was
like a point at what you reallylean in, and there's a point at
what to run away from it becauseI could feel every bit of that.
SPEAKER_01 (29:55):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (29:55):
Like I I knew it so well, and and it being a year
since I'd lost Tokyo, I knew itall so well, like I was feeling
it all for you, and and I thinkthat level of trauma is so
different.
So, guys, if you're listeningand you need some help, don't be
scared to reach out, don't bescared to find the therapy or
the talkworks or whatever is thefree service local to you, or
for me it was a paid service.
(30:16):
And um, I work with a lady stillevery three to four weeks, and I
have a session, I process, Italk it through.
It's just given me better umskills to deal with it.
SPEAKER_02 (30:27):
And I just want to thank everybody in the community
that gave me so many lovelymessages.
I couldn't respond individuallyto everybody, but they meant so
much to me, knowing that he wasloved like he was, and it just
meant a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (30:43):
Thank you for being here, Debbie.
Thank you for telling everybodyyour story.
SPEAKER_02 (30:46):
Thank you so much for letting me share his story.
SPEAKER_00 (30:48):
And let's keep sharing his story, and everyone
cannot wait to hear about yourfuture.
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