June 17, 2024 • 47 mins
In this transformative episode, we conclude the "Unlock Your Sexual Desire Challenge" by revealing how to tap into your inner radiance and sustain desire, regardless of age or external factors like beauty or weight.
✨ Reflecting on previous sessions:
- Sexual desire matrix
- Awakening your inner passions
- Dismantling barriers to soulful intimacy
✨ Practical steps shared:
- Integrating psychotherapy, sacred sexuality, and couple therapy
- Becoming a sexually empowered, radiant woman
✨ Personal empowerment:
- Heartfelt testimonials, like Lenny's journey from hesitation to radiant freedom
- Recognizing the power within oneself
- Stop expecting fulfillment solely from a partner
- Investing in your internal work
✨ Key themes:
- Openness, trust, and emotional connection
- Reclaiming sexual energy
- Embracing self-discovery
- Feeling at peace with your body
- Owning your pleasure
- Expressing a full range of emotions
- Establishing flexible but firm boundaries
✨ Transformative daily practices:
- Ho'oponopono prayer
- Reconnecting with your body's wisdom
- Using your inner GPS for better relational choices
This is more than just a guide; it's an invitation to align your heart with your sexuality and live a more radiant, empowered life. Join us and take the first step towards your ideal relationship and personal fulfillment.
Your host:
Tarisha Tourok is the founder of the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement where women learn how to become radiant, confident and own the power and beauty of their sexuality no matter their size, shape, age or race.
FREE MINI COURSE: Unlock Your Sexual Confidence - Learn 5 Practices to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body & Your Sexuality
https://radiantwoman.xperiencify.io/tarishatourokbody/mini-course/
FREE WEBINAR: Women Over 40: Discover 5 Keys to Unlock Your Desire So You Enjoy Heart-Melting Intimacy
This is perfect for women who are in a relationship and feel frustrated with their love life, are single and don't want to repeat past hurtful patterns where they lose themselves and their voice, and women who want to feel confident expressing their longings and desires
Join Free Online where you'll learn 5 obstacles to your desire and 5 actionable strategies to activate your desire so you stop feeling frustrated with your love life www.shedesires.live
Visit our website at https://www.sexualempowermentforwomen.com to join the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome, welcome to our training how to sustain
desire and intimacy.
Day five of Unlock your SexualDesire Challenge.
Today we're going to talk aboutwhat are the steps that you
need to take.
Connect to your radiance so youshine brightly, so you become
the lighthouse of radiance andpeople just sail towards you
from everywhere Tauranga, leanne, from Tauranga Stacey, from
(00:23):
Idaho, ontario, canada, nice,we're really international here.
It's so beautiful to see you.
Maybe if you can just reflectbefore we go into this session,
what was useful for you, whatare your takeaways?
Maybe if you post in thecomments what are your takeaways
from these four days as we comeinto our last day today, where
we're going to tie it up alltogether.
(00:43):
That's where we've been.
Day one unlock the power of thesexual desire matrix.
It's the system that I'vedeveloped and I find it's really
helpful and I hope you took alot out of that.
Then, on day two, we went intoawakening your desire, creating
a vision of what's possible foryou.
Those comments and I hear timeand time again with women when
(01:03):
we go I'm 40, 50, 60, it's notpossible for me anymore, it's
too late for me and it's nottrue.
I know there are so manybeautiful men around who are
wanting that soulful intimacy.
It's not just women who arelooking for that.
If you're attracted to women,there are other women who want
the same.
So don't think it's notpossible for you.
(01:23):
Don't think you're too old.
It's actually perfect time,because the older we become, the
more we're connected to theessence of who we are.
The more attractive we become,the more radiant we become.
It's more about shiningbrighter.
It's more about who are weattracted to again, rather than
who's attracted to us.
Sometimes we're attracted topeople who are not safe for us,
(01:44):
who are not good for us, wherewe can't create a sustainable
relationship.
And what's important is, onceyou start to feel safe inside
yourself, the people you'reattracted to are quite different
.
When you become radiant, thereare plenty of people around who
will be attracted to you.
It's not about beauty, it's notabout age, it's not about shape
or weight.
It's about connecting to thesource of your radiance from
(02:06):
inside.
That's what I love teachingvery patient about teaching
women how to connect to theinner radiance.
Then people start to beattracted to them.
Today we're going to talk aboutwhat are the steps that you
need to take to connect to yourradiance so you shine brightly,
so you become the lighthouse ofradiance and people, just they
sail towards you from everywhere.
That was our day three overcomethe barriers to your desire.
(02:28):
I highly recommend you watchthe training as well.
If you haven't done so yet, thetrainings will be up till next
week, so please do catch up withthe trainings.
Yesterday we talked aboutcreating heart melting and
spirit infused intimacy, andI'll talk a little bit about
that.
To remind us where we've beenyesterday, it's nice, if you
take your journal, take thenotes from what you hear, what
(02:48):
resonates with you, and docomment as well Today.
How do we sustain desire andfulfilling intimacy?
So what we're going to covertoday is who is a sexually
empowered radiant woman?
What does it actually mean?
What are the steps practicalsteps that you can take to
become a sexually empoweredradiant woman?
I'll talk about five steps, andit's my sexually empowered
radiant woman method that I'vedeveloped, combining
(03:11):
psychotherapy, sacred sexualityand couple therapy.
How do we combine that togetherand create something
sustainable?
Also, we're going to be talkingabout how we go from comfort to
deep meaning, to deep intimacy,how we stop choosing safety,
even though it feelsuncomfortable, and start
preferring more aliveness whenwe're connected to deep meaning
(03:34):
in our life, when life feelsfulfilling rather than safe,
comfortable, but not sofulfilling.
We're also going to do designyour desire map.
So what are the steps that youneed to take?
And I know all of you areunique, all of you bring a lot
of gifts, and your past is thereas well.
Right, so it's different forevery woman.
Okay, jasmine, thank you.
Yes, and that's why I love towork with a group of women and I
(03:56):
do my course, 10-week course,in a group of women, because we
really start to see how I'm notalone and that it's doable, that
I can have a differentexperience of life, and also
that how society normalizes ourstruggles, how we normalize it
and say, oh, this is how it isand I can't do anything about it
.
Actually, taking responsibilityand I can do a lot about it,
(04:17):
especially when we have enoughsupport, we can change our life
experience completely.
Yeah, nice that you feel lessalone, huh, jasmine, monica,
yeah, monica, exactly that.
Once you connect to your innerradiance, men are going to
appear everywhere and it's goingto be more about who do I
choose, who am I attracted to?
That's where the trick is right, because sometimes, when we
(04:40):
bring the past and we feel shakyin our body.
We're attracted to people whoare risky.
When there's more excitement,it seems like there's more
passion, but actually it's notsustainable.
It doesn't nourish us, itdoesn't feed us.
I wonder if you relate to that.
Once we start shining,beautiful men are everywhere,
like I can assure you.
A gift of golden glitter is alove of Jess, yes, beautiful.
(05:03):
And then when I, my journey isprecious, my journey is sacred.
I'm only going to share mysexuality with someone who
honors me.
Now I'm going to treat myselfwith that honor Because we train
people in how they relate to us, and if I honor myself, then I
train other people to honormyself as well.
(05:25):
That's what we're working with.
Understand the powerful desirematrix, get deep insights into
your sexual desire, how toenhance it, learn the strategies
to overcome the barriers toyour desire and discover how to
start creating heart-meltingintimacy.
That's our mission.
I wonder how we're doing withthe mission.
Yeah, if you reflect, what kindof this is our last day?
(05:45):
If you reflect, what have youlearned?
Do you understand the sexualdesire matrix?
Do you see how to apply it inyour life?
Do you see the possibility foryou to enjoy heart-melting
intimacy?
My aim was really to live onthat mission.
I know I'm giving you a lot ofinformation and I know that to
take it further, to really havetransformation, we really need
(06:06):
to work together.
I'm giving information, but toreceive transformation I really
need to know where you're at,what's happening for you, and
because we don't see we haveblind corners, we don't see that
we need someone else to reallyhelp us to move forward.
So if you feel like this iswhat I'm sharing resonates with
you, I invite you to book asession with me and, as I said,
(06:26):
it's a free session during thechallenge, so you can book a
session.
I still have time for next week, the challenge, so you can book
a session.
I still have time for next weekand then we can talk and really
create a plan and see yourunique experience, your unique
vision and how can you get there.
You know that, as I said, whentrauma or disconnect happens in
(06:46):
the relationship, it needs toheal relationally.
That's why I still have mytherapist.
Therapist, I still have supportof a group of women that I work
with from a feminine power thatare really supporting me,
because I know that only in arelationship I can create
different experience of life formyself.
So please do book a session.
I'd be very happy to talk toyou, especially that I'm seeing
your comments and I'd love toconnect one-on-one with you.
(07:09):
It'll be beautiful.
You can really have a plan ofwhere to go from here.
So what we really looked at isthat two keys to creating deeply
fulfilling intimacy.
Key one is that we need toaccept the reality that probably
your partner is not going togive you a deep experience of
sex, of intimacy, on their ownaccord.
If you have a partner now orwith a future partner, it's not
(07:32):
about finding someone who canreally give that to you, but
it's about experiencing thatincredible power within yourself
and connecting to your ecstaticsexual energy and then inviting
your partner current one orfuture one into that experience
with you.
It's all in your power, it'sall in your hands.
I invite you, if you can, lookat your hands, put your hands in
(07:54):
front of you.
Look at your hands and say thepower is in my hands.
I can do it for myself.
No one else is going to do itfor me.
The power is in my hands, yeah,and really feel it.
I claim my power to create thelove life that I dream about,
(08:15):
that I so deeply desire.
I am claiming that the power isin my hands.
Being in stressful relationshipscauses declining health and
overall happiness.
I want to share this story fromLenny, and she's done the
course I think last year she'sdone it and she talks about it
that the power is in our hands.
Just listen to that.
I really love what she shares.
(08:36):
And also if, when you watch thewomen sharing, if we can really
bring a sense of gentleness andhonor, because in this work you
can imagine how it's not easyfor me to get video testimonials
from women because it's such asensitive area and still women
are willing because they got somuch out of the work that from
(08:58):
that they want to give it backto you.
So if you can really take itwith that honoring attitude that
these women are sharingsomething so precious because
they know how much it changedfor them and they want to do it
for you as well.
So if we listen to, Lenny.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
There's a sense of security that I've acquired deep
within myself.
I've empowered myself even morenow than what I have ever known
I could do with the help of youand the other ladies that were
in the course.
I don't have butterflies in mystomach talking about different
things with my partner anymore.
(09:33):
I open up way more readily andwe just enjoy being in that
space.
I've become softer insidetowards my partner.
I think it's helped usimmensely.
It has definitely helped us toform a bond that we didn't have
before.
We talk about things that neverentered our minds prior to doing
(09:53):
your course.
We've both had a couple ofsessions with you together,
which also has been amazinglyhelpful Definitely more open,
more trusting each other, moreto share what we've wanted to
say for the past three or fouryears since knowing each other.
Now we know we're in a safehaven to be able to do that
without any judgment or whateverthere was before I joined your
(10:16):
course.
So jointly, it's been brilliant.
We've really enjoyed it.
I think that the investment wasso worthwhile.
I'm thinking about that littleprison cell in my heart that I
was opening up quite oftenthrough the call it's wow, I can
do this now.
I don't have to hide in thatprison cell anymore.
Yeah, it's a fantastic feeling,to be honest, my heart's just a
(10:38):
lot softer and freer and morewilling to open up to things.
After doing the course, I feltradiant inside.
I felt as though I hadblossomed into a new flower.
I'm just more accepting ofmyself and of others.
Before I joined your course, Iwas putting a lot of my qualms
down to menopause, which inreality, is an excuse, because
(11:02):
we can all get ourselves out ofsituations that we think we're
in if we put our minds to it andour hearts as well.
I grew to realise that themenopause wasn't a factor.
It was more about me and how Iwas dealing with things
internally.
I've gone on HRT.
That's helped, but it's nothelped immensely.
I don't have time, is notreally relevant nowadays.
(11:25):
I know that I can put 10minutes aside for myself if I
really wanted to.
Wow.
Yeah, thank you.
Nobody else can do that for me.
You cannot do it, my partnercannot do it.
I have to do that, yeah, and Ilove this.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
And if we can all remember that and I love that
what Lenny is sharing that it'sup to us and how we can find a
lot of excuses of why things arenot working the way we want to.
But it's up to us and how wecan find a lot of excuses of why
things are not working the waywe want to.
But it's actually in our handsand our power.
The journey is not easy.
That's the thing that I thinkstops women.
They feel like it should beeasy or I don't have the energy.
(12:05):
But once we put our attentionas Lenny says beautifully our
mind and our heart to it, we canchange our whole life
experience.
We can create beautifulrelationships for ourselves.
Thank you, Lenny so much and Ihope you appreciate how deeply
she shared and it's just sobeautiful for me to see.
Yeah, I feel like a proud mama,sometimes sharing, guiding
(12:25):
women and then seeing how theytake it.
I know that it all depends onhow much their heart, their soul
they put into the work andthat's what they get out of it.
I see your comment, Jasmine.
It puts tears on my eyes aswell when I get these
testimonials, because it's justso beautiful and it's to
encourage you, so you have thepower to change your sexual
experience.
You can stop waiting.
(12:46):
You can connect to the ecstaticsexual energy in your body and
then you can invite your partnercurrent one, future one into
the delicious lovemaking withyou.
It's all possible for you.
It's not just because I'veexperienced it, but because
women I work with experience itas well.
I find when we work in a groupit's so much easier.
So that day one we worked it.
The importance of our sexualdesire, how it's not just about
(13:08):
sex, how it's about our desire,our zest for life.
Yeah, and that's the desirematrix.
If you remember this, and everytime you feel like there's a
sense of unease or you'remissing something, something's
not working out, I'd invite youto look back at the desire
matrix and see which pillar Ineed to focus on right now.
It's such a clear, easy map.
(13:30):
So when things are not workingthe way you want them to, when
you feel upset or there's angeror sadness or there's a sense of
stuckness, look at the desirematrix and see okay, which one
do I need to focus on?
Which one am I missing here?
What do I need to do?
Is it self-intimacy?
Is it that I need to expressmyself.
Is it that I need to findresonance with someone that I
(13:51):
need to express myself?
Is it that I need to findresonance with someone that I'm
actually feeling lonely?
I'm trying to do it all bymyself?
I really need that humanconnection.
Is it that I'm criticizingmyself a lot and I need to start
to appreciate my body?
Or is it that I need to go outand play, go on adventures and
go into that creativeexploration?
Yes, Kelly, and yeah, andthat's what?
(14:12):
At the end of the course, wehave this beautiful ritual at
the end, and it was amazing tosee Lenny and how she started to
shine and lots of women werereflecting.
We've just done a course wefinished in April.
It was so amazing and everyonewas like, wow, we can see the
radiance inside of you and itwas just so beautiful, Beautiful
, and I know it's possible foryou because one woman even
suggested I should do photos ofwomen before the course and
(14:33):
after the course and just in 10weeks.
It's amazing what starts toawaken, how that radiance just
shines through us and womennotice it.
That's the design matrix.
Take it with you.
That was our day two, creating anew story, and I hope you can
and I'll put more.
You'll listen to more womentalking about their experience.
It's all in service of you,seeing what's possible, creating
(14:56):
that new story for you.
Don't settle for less thandeeply fulfilling intimacy.
Don't settle for less thanfeeling beautiful, feeling
radiant in your own skin, nomatter your age, shape, size, it
doesn't matter.
The radiance is not a physicalthing.
I know that women who were morebeautiful when they're younger,
they really struggle when theystart to age because they lose
(15:17):
that physical beauty and theyhaven't connected to their
radiance.
That's what we've done in daytwo.
In day three we looked at ourbarriers, understood why we lose
sexual desire, identifiedinternal barriers.
Now I'll just remind what wedid yesterday.
So we'll talk a bit more aboutthat.
We audited your relationship andif you could, please send me,
(15:39):
email me, just the number.
What is the final number?
I'm not going to calculate thenumbers for everyone.
I've seen some of you sent me anumber for each question.
If you can add them and emailme at tarisha, at
radiantwomancoronavent, or youcan even post.
Actually it'll be nice if youpost on the group.
We talked about the old paradigm, the new paradigm and creating
a couple bubble.
(15:59):
If you haven't seen thetraining.
Please go and watch it becauseit's quite different from all
other days.
We've done it and that was theold paradigm, where we get
married, we stay together, wedie together, together.
We stay together becausesecurity is so important and we
don't have to do much work onthe relationship.
The new paradigm is creatingdeeply fulfilling intimacy.
(16:21):
Yeah, it's intimate relating,rather than an object, like a
thing, a relationship.
It's intimate relating, it's aprocess of relating with each
other.
I wonder what resonates.
Be nice to see more comments.
These are our two choices huh,yeah, waiting or actually doing
it for ourselves.
Watch it yesterday, recordingif you want to do the audit, and
(16:42):
then I'm going to send youwhere you're at in your
relationship to yourself and toothers In the relationship.
Again, how to apply the desirematrix to the relationship I'm
currently in or maybe to yourlast relationship if you're
single right now.
It's really good to see whichpart is missing in my
relationship.
If you look at yourrelationships through your life,
(17:04):
you see which pillar wasmissing.
Which pillar have I struggledwith?
So you can start seeing thepattern.
That's gonna give you a signal.
This is what I really need towork on, but it's really
eye-opening to look at yourrelationships and see what have
I missed, what hasn't worked.
For me, when I work withcouples, it's all about seeing
the pattern of how they dothings and it doesn't work.
(17:26):
And then what can we dodifferently and create a
different pattern that actuallydoes work?
I talk about it like when wedance and we just step on each
other's feet and it's reallypainful.
Then, if we see our steps, thenwe can change them so we can
create more harmony and beautyin our dance.
Nikki, we did watch ityesterday and I just want to
share it again so you see what'spossible.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'm really happy that we've been having intimacy
again, because we were prettymuch lacking for the beginning
of the course.
We didn't have intimacy formany months.
I felt maybe my heart soften alittle bit, also wanting to
practice being in my body,intimacy as well, feel that
desire coming back.
There's more connection thanwas there before.
(18:08):
It is really big.
I'm awakened more, more seedshave been planted for me.
I understand now my ownresponsibility, and it more
clearly, as well as the way I'vebeen asking for things from a
very emotional place in a lot ofmy relationship, which I feel
has caused a lot of disconnect.
I feel it's a gift tounderstand that more clearly.
(18:28):
Now I do feel my heart openmore.
I feel my body open more I feelmy yoga open, more I feel my
yoga practice change.
I feel the way I navigate mycommunication change.
So it's satisfying to do thiswork.
It's not easy, though.
It's also honestly helped meprocess my sexual rape and my
trauma.
I could see any womanbenefiting any stage of
(18:51):
navigation of theirrelationships or with themselves
.
I feel this is the part of ourworld that we're missing to be
taught these things.
Everything outside of our lifeis stemming from here.
Speaking more from my ownexperience of my trauma.
I really don't think there aremany places I ever felt in my
life that I could come into, besafe in this way.
(19:12):
And I would just say to anotherwoman it is a safe space and it
is expansive and it isdifficult, but they're worthy of
that.
I wouldn't say that it tookaway from the experience at all.
I think it was just as powerful, even in the same sense.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
That's another experience for actually what's
possible for me Now we're goingto look at the sexually
empowered radiant womanfive-step method.
And for me Now we're going tolook at the sexually empowered
radiant woman five-step method.
And my invitation for you takeyour journal and see which step.
What do I need to do?
What is my next step?
I know it can be overwhelmingwhen we look at the whole
picture, and I'm going to giveyou a bird's eye view, which is
really important to see.
But what is my next step?
(19:46):
First of all, if we look at whatdoes it mean to be a sexually
empowered radiant woman?
And now, take note, whichaspect is important for you?
I talk about it in five aspects, right, in terms of five
aspects, and it's all relational.
So aspect number one of being asexually empowered radiant
woman is your relationship toyourself and your value.
(20:08):
Yeah, and that goes toself-intimacy.
How does she relate?
She values herself, she feelslike my value is never in
question.
She's confident, she's solid inwho she is.
I feel deeply connected tomyself and she feels herself
with life, with joy, withpleasure.
She feels like I'm responsibleright for myself and I give
myself what I need.
(20:28):
Also, she's at peace with herchoices and for me that was a
big journey to actually choosemyself, choose my life and
choose all my choices.
I choose myself.
I know I've made some mistakes,I know I could have done
something different, but Ichoose all of that.
It happened and I'm okay.
I'm at peace with my choices.
So I wonder if that makes sense, but actually choosing whatever
(20:51):
we've done this is my past,this is what I'm at right now
and I'm choosing all of me.
I'm not trying to push any partof me aside.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
So that's the first aspect.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Then the next aspect is the relationship to her body.
It relates to the desire,matrix, appreciation of the body
and how she feels she's atpeace with her body.
Yeah, she feels at home in herbody.
My body is my temple.
She's comfortable in her ownskin, doesn't matter even if
she's not the side that shewants to be right shape, she
doesn't.
She's not, she doesn't want tobe.
(21:24):
She's still comfortable andshe's taking care of her body
and she doesn't punish herself.
She does it because she wantsto take care of her body rather
than I need to lose weightbecause then I'll be more
lovable.
Actually, I want to take careof myself.
I want to feel healthier and Iknow that's what's going to be
good for me.
Notice how it's quite different.
Instead of punishing, I'mtaking care of myself.
(21:46):
That's what it means to be asexually impoverished woman.
It doesn't mean that we have tobe looking perfect.
That's not what it is.
It's how do I relate to my body?
Am I taking care of myself oram I trying to punish and get
attention, get love, throughpunishing my body?
Does it make sense?
I'd love to see your commentsthere.
Next one next aspect isrelationship to her pleasure and
(22:08):
her sexuality.
Sexually empowered radiantwoman owns her pleasure.
She owns her sexuality.
She knows it's up to me to findwhat turns me on, what turns me
off.
She asks for what she wants andthat's where the erotic voice
comes in, and she enjoysemotionally connected sexuality.
She really feels empowered inher choices.
I know what I need, I can speakit, I can ask for it and I can
(22:33):
choose people who are good forme.
So that's aspect number three.
Aspect number four isrelationship to her emotions and
self-expression.
A sexually empowered, radiantwoman allows all of her emotions
to be there.
She doesn't say I can feel that, but not that.
Because if we don't feel onepart of our like, sometimes like
(22:53):
anger right, we don't want tofeel anger, we're pushed away,
but then we really reduce ouremotional expression and then we
can't feel as much joy, wecan't feel as much happiness.
We have to develop and expandour emotional range.
She's okay with all of heremotions and she sees her
emotions as messengers.
Emotions tell me.
(23:15):
What's of balance?
Where do I need to focus,rather than oh, I'm so emotional
, it feels so bad.
Actually, oh, I'm curious aboutmy emotions.
Where is this coming from?
What's happening?
What do I need to do?
What do I need to change?
She's fully embracing all ofher emotions and especially her
sexuality as well.
When making love, I don't haveto just be happy and joyful.
I can bring my sadness, myanger, my frustration to
(23:38):
lovemaking in a consensual waywith my partner and then
self-expression, what sheexpresses, but she attuned to
others and that's where we cometo the resonance place.
It's not that I'm just going toexpress whatever I want to
express, because this is who Iam, but actually I see the
effect I'm having on otherpeople and I'm going to be
(23:58):
attuned.
It's not just I have to justlet go of everything.
I'm expressing my emotions withthe intention of creating more
love and more connection.
That's very important.
What is my intention behindexpressing myself?
Because I want to create morelove and more connection, more
authenticity.
That's very important aspectthat I see.
Sometimes we lose when we'regoing to really starting to
(24:19):
express ourselves and then wemight hurt other people.
It happens we're going to hurtother people, but actually, okay
, I'm here to attune and expresswith the intention of creating
more connection.
I wonder if that makes sense.
So the last one relationship toothers.
That's the last aspect.
How does she relate right.
A sexually empowered womancreates safe and consensual
relationships.
She's really clear with herboundaries.
(24:40):
She knows what works for her,what doesn't work, but they're
not brick wall boundaries.
I'm talking about brick wallboundaries or chaotic boundaries
.
Chaotic is like when we're likewe just we can let people push
into us and then we push back.
We let people come too close orjust step on us and then we
push back, and that's chaoticboundary, break wall boundaries.
(25:01):
Nah, you're just right thereand don't come near me.
Flexible boundaries is where Isee where I'm at, I feel safe in
myself, I express myself andthen I see how other person
responds.
I check it out and if theyrespond in a way that feels good
for me, then I can come closerto them.
I can open up a bit more.
If it doesn't feel right, thenI can close and say no, that's
(25:26):
not my person.
But it's really that findingthat resonance, the flexible
boundaries how do you find theresonance?
And then the other piece withsexually impoverished women is
that she's able to surrender tolove Because she feels deeply
safe inside herself.
She's willing to open up andtake that risk and surrender.
She doesn't bring her past withher and all the hurts that
close her heart she's actually.
(25:47):
I know things might havehappened in the past, but right
now I feel safe in myself.
I've checked out this person,this resonance here, and I can
open and surrender to love.
I wonder, like what resonateswith you, what makes sense?
Yeah, thank you Jasmine.
But right, when we let peoplecross our boundaries, yeah, then
we might go back and push themback further, and I really would
(26:10):
love to invite you to changeyour language around it.
It's not that people arecrossing my boundaries, it's
that I'm letting other peoplecross my boundaries.
Notice how that's different,because if it's like they're
just crossing and I can't doanything about it, we feel
victimized, we feel powerlessand out of control.
But actually, oh, I'm lettingpeople, I'm being with people
(26:34):
that are not maybe good for me.
I'm letting people cross myboundaries.
Maybe I'm not saying clearlywhat I need from them.
Then I can do something aboutit.
Okay, so for now, I'd love youif you can journal which aspect
you feel is important for you.
What is your next step?
Is it the relationship toyourself and your value?
That my value is never inquestion?
Is it your relationship to yourbody?
That I'm taking care of my body, appreciate my body?
(26:54):
Is it the relationship to yourpleasure and your sexuality?
Is it the relationship to yourpleasure and your sexuality?
Is it the relationship to youremotions and self-expression, or
is it your relationship toothers?
What is the one like importantbit, which one do you feel like?
That's where I need to focus onmaybe you can just write it
down which is the importantaspect a relationship to
yourself and her value, arelationship to her body, to her
(27:17):
emotions and self-expression,to sexuality and others.
If I just check in with myself,what feels good, what doesn't,
and it's flexible that's why Icall them flexible boundaries I
check in, does it feel good ornot?
I totally trust myself, I'm inmy body.
(27:38):
Does it feel good or not?
And then I can let people in ormaybe not.
I keep on checking in ratherthan testing.
Checking in, right, I tune intomyself, checking in and having
flexible boundaries.
Monica, I understand that all ofthem are important, but if you
can choose one, because whenit's all, it's difficult, it's
overwhelming.
But what is the one piece thatfeels like yeah, and so I'll
(28:00):
just put them again, right?
What is the one piece that youfeel like?
That'll be, that's what'simportant for me right now.
That's what really jumps at me.
Which one is it?
Yeah, we cover all of them inthe 10-week course.
We really look at all of them.
If you want help again withthat, please do book a call with
(28:23):
me.
I think the link is right therein the comments.
We can have a chat and it'sfree of charge.
There are no strings attached.
If you want to work with mefurther, I'd be very happy.
If you don't, that's okay aswell, and we're going to look at
actually what are your nextsteps.
Yeah, monica, value yourself.
(28:44):
Yes, how would your life be ifmy value is never in question?
So it's nice to find what is mylinchpin.
What is the one?
next step, so I'm not gettingoverwhelmed.
What's important to know isthat it's not a problem that
resolves itself.
If we have past hurts, if wehave inner critical voice, it's
not going to heal by itself.
We actually need to focus.
If we have relational patternsthat are not working for us,
it's not going to change byitself.
It's up to you to change it.
(29:05):
Quite often, you do need newperspectives, you do need new
insights.
That's why I see, when we workwith a group of women, you get
perspective and insights fromother women it's not just from
me and it's become such apowerful container.
Then you can start enjoyingemotionally connected sexuality.
Then you can attract the personthat's right for you.
I'll just have a sip of waterand we'll watch this last video
(29:26):
and then we're going to go intothe five steps.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
It's bringing more of myself to everything.
It's that bigness againbringing more total version of
me to both myself and others.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Quite a different experience of life, huh, when
you bring more of you.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Yeah, A real sense of reconnecting with the body
itself, coming alive into it,having that aliveness come up
and affect everything More, thatsense of wholeness which I
didn't have before.
Doing this work From the feetup, from the ground up, having a
feeling of my whole being as asexual being, a totality, rather
(30:02):
than something just in one partof my body.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
I have to say it's one of the most powerful
workshops I've ever done in mylife.
I'm 54 and I've done a lot ofworkshops in my life.
Teresha rolls very beautifully,keeping everybody safe.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
She's just got so much experience.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
I feel more love for myself.
I feel more open.
I feel like my energy is justfast.
What more is possible?
I love that.
I love that.
What more is possible?
I feel more playful.
I just feel like I want todance around my lounge with my
cat or be a bit sillier or morecreative.
Speaker 6 (30:37):
It's just amazing.
Compared to where I was acouple of months ago, I feel so
much lighter and freer, but alsoconnected to myself as well,
and I am expressing myself more,which is wonderful.
It feels so healthy to actuallyspeak up about things that I've
kept down for so long.
(30:58):
It brings with it a sense ofcalm and peace as well.
I feel like I float more everyday as I move around, so thank
you, tricia.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Being more connected to myself, more connected to
living authentically both inmyself and with others, more
meaning.
I know I'm answering my needsfor connection in a different
way because I don't want anauthentic connection now, what
we're experiencing working withyou is boundary breaking, not
just personally, but culturally.
(31:30):
You share celebration orexcitement?
Speaker 6 (31:33):
There's something incredible about the way she
works and the techniques thatshe gives, so that you know
you're in control of everything.
You have everything inside youand it's the techniques to help
you draw it out in thesepractices, so you're in complete
control of your own journey andyour own healing.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
It's definitely opened stuff up for me and I
want to continue on this journey, being my true self.
I love myself fully.
It's helped me so so much.
I highly recommend this coursefor anybody who wants to grow.
Growing is amazing.
Thank you, teresa.
You are a bundle of love, andall the best to the beautiful
(32:13):
people out there More wonder,more magic, more possibility.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Beautiful, but that's what's possible for you as well
.
What's important is that you'rehere and you make the decision.
I'm not putting it on a backburner.
My fulfillment, my relationwith my body, my fulfilling
sexual life it's actually soimportant for me right now
because that's what's going tochange your life experience.
I can see clearly your question.
It doesn't make things confusingwhen our boundaries are
(32:42):
flexible.
But that's why I'm talkingabout intimate relating, not
being in a relationship, becausewith intimate relating, it's a
constant process and thingschange.
Right, we change from day today.
Being women, we're attuned tothe moon cycle.
We change and we can't say thisis, and when we have the break
boundaries, this is just the wayit is.
(33:03):
There are some places whereit's not negotiables right, it's
more about okay.
There are some places whereit's like it's not okay for you
to call me names, that's more ofthat's not my negotiable.
But then we have the flexibleboundaries where how much
boundary is more?
How much I open myself to you,how much I let you step into my
place, that we can check inevery day, we feel differently
(33:26):
Is our partner present with us?
Is the other person presentwith us?
But I keep on checking in.
How much can I open myself?
The thing is, the safer we feelinside ourselves, the more we
can open ourselves to love toother people, because we don't
feel like I'm going to getbroken and damaged and smashed
if the other person rejects me.
(33:46):
I feel safe inside myself and Ican open more and more because
I trust that I'm not going tocollapse.
I trust myself.
I feel the deep love for myselfinside myself.
So when the other person isdoing something that hurts me,
I'm actually okay within myselfand that's why I'm willing to
take the risk and open more.
The thing is, the more we openup, the more joy we start to
have, the more fulfillingrelationships we start to have.
(34:09):
I just spent time with my bestfriend and I told her I started
to feel like I don't feel likeyou love me as much now.
It was quite a vulnerable thingfor me to share with her, but I
can trust myself, right, I cantrust her.
She said, oh, just because it'swinter and I start to feel a
bit depressed and nothing feelsso right.
And then we came back intoconnection again.
Yeah, but if I feel like shedoes something and then I close
(34:30):
my heart, then it feels soconstricting for me and the love
is not flowing.
But actually taking the risk.
And even if she said no, Idon't love you anymore, I'd
still be okay, I wouldn'tcollapse.
So it's really important tofind that safety inside and
feeling.
How can I keep on opening up tomore love, invite more intimacy,
because I know I'm not going tocollapse because of that
(34:52):
rejection?
Does that make sense?
So this is the Radiant womanmethod five steps.
I'll give you a bit of apractice and write down what is
the step for you.
So first, we really need toactivate our potential.
We need to create a new storyof what's possible for us.
That's why I've been showingyou the videos of other women
right, that you can really step.
(35:14):
What's possible for me, thatit's not just from my past, what
I've experienced, but what ifmore is possible for me If I
open up to my deepest longings,to my deepest desires, which we
did in session two, if you wantto go back there, what's
possible for me?
It's so important to allowyourself dream, allow yourself
to step into that possibility.
I see how, when we're in agroup of women, it's so much
(35:37):
easier for us to open up to morepossibility.
When we're by ourselves, we canoften constrict ourselves, we
feel like, no, that's notpossible.
I'm either too old or it's toolate or the right person is not
there.
The mind creates thatconstriction in ourselves.
And checking with yourself ifthat happens for you Right now,
what do you feel is possible foryou?
If you just check in, you mightclose your eyes, lower your
(35:59):
gaze as it relates to your body,to your sexuality, to
relationships, to intimacy, whatdo you feel is possible for you
?
And this is the voice thattells you now that's not
possible for me, a voice thatrestricts, constrains you.
That's important to noticebecause if you don't let
yourself dream and feel what'spossible, you're going to settle
and you're not going to takethe action that's required.
(36:21):
If I feel it's not possible forme, I'm not even going to go
for that.
But if I deeply knew thatamazing, soulful feeling,
intimacy is possible for me,heart-melting intimacy is
possible for me, I'll have morewillingness, I'll have way more
motivation to actually take theactions.
So quite often we crumble on thefirst step.
I wonder if that resonates.
So then the next step we needto release past traumas.
(36:46):
We need to work with our innercritical voice and transform
that inner critical voice intoour support figure.
I do it through a lot ofpractices.
We can't think our way throughthis.
We actually need to experiencethe shift in our body and start
relating to ourselves in adifferent way.
Also in that step, it's reallyimportant to see what's been
passed down to us generationsfrom generations.
(37:07):
I do a process where we work onhow do I let go of the past,
how do I become clear and what'snot mine when I stop to carry
it and put that down and saythat stops with me, it's not
mine.
I can see it's been passed downto me, but I'm not willing to
let it affect me in the future.
Now I'd love to have a littlepractice and we're going to do
(37:29):
the Ho'oponopono prayer.
I invite you to maybe hugyourself or touch yourself
gently, maybe put your hand onyour heart hand on your belly
hand, on your belly hand, onyour urinary, whatever feels
comfortable for you.
I invite you to speak out loud,not in your head, but speak it
out loud.
Speak this prayer to yourselfI'm sorry, please forgive me.
Thank you, I love you.
(37:51):
And if you just keep onspeaking that, I'm sorry, please
forgive me.
Thank you, I love you.
Just keep on speaking, holdingyourself gently, and I invite
(38:31):
you to do that prayer and it'sbeautiful to look at yourself in
the mirror and say that prayerto yourself.
I'm sorry, please forgive me,thank you, I love you.
I'm sorry, please forgive me,thank you, I love you.
And it's just one of the ways Ioffer to work within a critic,
where we start to meld thosecritical voices inside and start
to meld the trauma they heard.
Tell me how that was for you.
I invite you to do five minutesof the practice Looking in the
(38:53):
mirror.
Nice, when you brush your teethin the morning, you just do
that practice.
Then we go to step number three.
And step number three we reallyneed to come back into the body
, start drop from living in thehead, coming back into the body
so we can unlock the ancientwisdom of our bodies, because
our bodies carry so much andconnecting to the body, so our
body becomes our inner GPS thatI'm not trying to think through
(39:17):
right when I'm meeting otherpeople.
It's not that I'm trying togive a list and what works, what
doesn't, even though it'suseful, but actually I have the
deeper trust in myself Is thisgood for me or not and I'm
willing to follow on it.
Yeah, that's very important andthere are a lot of practices of
how do we actually connect tothat inner body wisdom.
And also, in this step, I offerbody blueprints.
(39:37):
There are different bodyblueprints, how we relate to our
body, and when we see thatblueprint, it's quite
transformational for women whenthey start to see how they
relate to their body and then wego into the place where my body
is my home.
My body is a gift.
I think in session two wetalked more about that blueprint
, but it's so important toidentify where am I at right now
(39:58):
?
Quite often it's our blindcorner.
We can't see it by ourselves.
So then the next step is wereally need to start activating
the power of our sexuality.
But see how we can't activatethe power of our sexuality
before we clear the negativevoices and judgment and trauma,
before we connect our body.
Only then we can go intosexuality because it happens
right in the body, and we can'tactivate the power of our
(40:21):
sexuality if we have this in acritical voice all the time,
because that's going to shut usdown, that's going to make us
feel self-conscious.
So it's so important to gothrough the steps.
Can you see that?
Does it make sense that if I amjudging myself badly or if I
have past trauma, unprocessedpast sexual trauma, then I
actually can't bring them beauty?
I really need to see and it'snot that I need to heal all of
(40:43):
that, but I need to become clearwhat it is and then I can start
bringing beauty, creating thepower inside.
Also, in that step, what I seewomen, if they feel like it's
not safe for me to feel radiantand sexual, then they shut
themselves down as well.
So, again, we need to connectour body first so we can bring
that safety, we can startfeeling safe inside ourselves
(41:04):
and then we can bring thatradiance and sexuality.
But see how they all reallydepend on each other.
The steps I wonder if thatmakes sense.
Beautiful, thank you, jasmine.
Yes, then the next step wereally need to create our
radiance map, and what I mean bythat is that we need to have a
practice that we do every day,five minutes, 15 minutes a day.
(41:26):
I give lots of practice in mycourse, but it really depends
which one works for you, whichone opens up something in you.
But it's so crucial to actuallyhave a practice to sustain you,
to sustain your radiance tokeep on expanding, especially on
the days that we don't feelgood about ourselves.
So important to do the practice, because that's what's going to
shift your state.
What's important is that youshift your state where you're
(41:50):
living from right, where you'recommunicating, from where you're
relating to others and toyourself, from.
Practice is going to help youto shift your state.
It's so important to findsomething that really works for
you.
Okay, so these are the fivesteps of the Sexually Empowered
Radiant Woman Method.
Tell me which one feelsimportant for you and if you
need some help with this.
(42:10):
As we all need support and youare unique, I really invite you
to share your call with me andwe can diagnose what's going on
and design your unique map forwhere you need to go, how you
can awaken your desire, how youcan enjoy sexually connected
intimacy.
Maybe you need to align withwhat's possible, step into the
possibility.
Maybe you need to clear pastincidences that you're still
(42:31):
carrying.
Maybe you need to learn how toconnect your heart to your
sexuality.
I know sometimes we might feellike, oh, will this work for me?
You might have doubts inyourself, maybe you have doubt
in me, and then I'm not yourperson.
So that's important for me.
That's why I spend these fivedays with you, so you can see
the way I teach, if thatresonates with you.
I just want to tell you a story, because when I hear people say
(42:54):
, will this work for me, is thispossible for me, I really see
that people don't trustthemselves.
It's not about other people,but it's actually I don't trust
myself.
I feel like this is notpossible for me.
I remember myself when myparents immigrated to New
Zealand when I was 17.
We came from Russia and my dadsaid that I should be an
accountant and I thought, okay,I'll be an accountant.
(43:15):
I couldn't speak much English.
I felt quite depressed.
I loved being in Russia.
I missed Russia badly, missedmy friends.
I left my boyfriend there.
It was a really painful time.
So I decided to become anaccountant and then I worked for
Grand Thornton for four yearsand I started to feel like in a
straight jacket.
I started to feel like in astraight jacket.
(43:35):
I started to feel so like mylife was meaningless.
It was comfortable, I hadenough money, it was secure, but
I felt so distressed because itfelt like my aliveness, like I
was dying, and it washeartbreaking.
Yeah, it felt so heartbreakingthat here I am, I should be so
alive and I'm not feeling it.
And then I started to hear thiscall.
(43:58):
It's like you need to go, youneed to go, you need to leave.
So I left, I resigned and I'vedecided to become a therapist.
Yeah, I've decided that this isthat's my new path.
I remember how much doubt I had.
I was like I've already done myaccountancy degree.
I can't study anymore.
I can't speak English.
Who do I think I am?
(44:18):
I can't really help people.
It's just, it's not.
What can I do for other people?
I can't even fix myself here.
Irrespective of the doubt Ireally I was keeping on showing
up.
I've done the right courses.
I got so much support.
I went to university to study.
I'm so happy I did that becauseI really see how I went from
(44:40):
safety into actually what'smeaningful for me, what deeply
fulfills me, trusting myself andsponsoring myself.
Even when my dad kept on sayingI go back to accountancy, this
is not safe, this is not good,this is too much risk, I kept on
standing up for myself.
Now, like today, just in themorning, I have this beautiful
(45:01):
couple who are going through atough time, and just to see how
much love they have for eachother, how I can hold that space
for them.
It's really yeah, it soinspires me.
I know when I was an accountantI'd never have this meaningful
relationship with people.
I'd never have this meaningfulrelationship with people.
I'd never have something whereI could contribute so much.
(45:24):
And I'm sure if we go back, ifyou were there with me, you
would really support me.
I see my friends now thatsupport me that say no, you stay
with it because this is whatyou're meant to do.
You're so good at this.
So I really would love tosupport you that, if that deep
desire is there, please supportyourself, please sponsor
yourself, find help to supportyou in stepping into more
(45:46):
radiance, more confidence, increating that beautiful
relationship for yourself.
Please stand up for yourselfand feel if this is deeply
meaningful for you, make.
Make the choices and they couldbe tough choices.
Commit your time, commityourself to actually creating
that what you want in your life,because otherwise it's not
going to happen.
And, as Lenny beautifully said,we all can find the time, the
(46:10):
money to actually create thatlife for ourselves.
It's not because things happenoutside, because of men opposed,
because of menopause, becausewe don't have time because there
are not good people around.
It's all up to us.
That's what I really would loveto leave you with.
Please email me or you canprivate message me if you want
the session with me where we cantalk more.
If I'm not your person, findsomeone else who can support you
(46:31):
in that, but just know thatit's possible and you have to
commit yourself.
That's the home play for today.
If you can do the Ho'oponoponopractice again, please do share
your takeaways and comment on atleast three other women.
Please don't wait for heartmelting sex, but cause it to
happen in your life.
I've been so happy to be herewith you.
It's quite exciting for me tobe able to speak to you, and
(46:55):
please do email me.
Keep on contacting each other,keep on commenting and I'll see
you in the group with a big warmhug.
Bye.
Welcome, welcome to our training how to sustain
desire and intimacy.
Day five of Unlock your SexualDesire Challenge.
Today we're going to talk aboutwhat are the steps that you
need to take.
Connect to your radiance so youshine brightly, so you become
the lighthouse of radiance andpeople just sail towards you
from everywhere Tauranga, leanne, from Tauranga Stacey, from
(00:23):
Idaho, ontario, canada, nice,we're really international here.
It's so beautiful to see you.
Maybe if you can just reflectbefore we go into this session,
what was useful for you, whatare your takeaways?
Maybe if you post in thecomments what are your takeaways
from these four days as we comeinto our last day today, where
we're going to tie it up alltogether.
(00:43):
That's where we've been.
Day one unlock the power of thesexual desire matrix.
It's the system that I'vedeveloped and I find it's really
helpful and I hope you took alot out of that.
Then, on day two, we went intoawakening your desire, creating
a vision of what's possible foryou.
Those comments and I hear timeand time again with women when
(01:03):
we go I'm 40, 50, 60, it's notpossible for me anymore, it's
too late for me and it's nottrue.
I know there are so manybeautiful men around who are
wanting that soulful intimacy.
It's not just women who arelooking for that.
If you're attracted to women,there are other women who want
the same.
So don't think it's notpossible for you.
(01:23):
Don't think you're too old.
It's actually perfect time,because the older we become, the
more we're connected to theessence of who we are.
The more attractive we become,the more radiant we become.
It's more about shiningbrighter.
It's more about who are weattracted to again, rather than
who's attracted to us.
Sometimes we're attracted topeople who are not safe for us,
(01:44):
who are not good for us, wherewe can't create a sustainable
relationship.
And what's important is, onceyou start to feel safe inside
yourself, the people you'reattracted to are quite different
.
When you become radiant, thereare plenty of people around who
will be attracted to you.
It's not about beauty, it's notabout age, it's not about shape
or weight.
It's about connecting to thesource of your radiance from
(02:06):
inside.
That's what I love teachingvery patient about teaching
women how to connect to theinner radiance.
Then people start to beattracted to them.
Today we're going to talk aboutwhat are the steps that you
need to take to connect to yourradiance so you shine brightly,
so you become the lighthouse ofradiance and people, just they
sail towards you from everywhere.
That was our day three overcomethe barriers to your desire.
(02:28):
I highly recommend you watchthe training as well.
If you haven't done so yet, thetrainings will be up till next
week, so please do catch up withthe trainings.
Yesterday we talked aboutcreating heart melting and
spirit infused intimacy, andI'll talk a little bit about
that.
To remind us where we've beenyesterday, it's nice, if you
take your journal, take thenotes from what you hear, what
(02:48):
resonates with you, and docomment as well Today.
How do we sustain desire andfulfilling intimacy?
So what we're going to covertoday is who is a sexually
empowered radiant woman?
What does it actually mean?
What are the steps practicalsteps that you can take to
become a sexually empoweredradiant woman?
I'll talk about five steps, andit's my sexually empowered
radiant woman method that I'vedeveloped, combining
(03:11):
psychotherapy, sacred sexualityand couple therapy.
How do we combine that togetherand create something
sustainable?
Also, we're going to be talkingabout how we go from comfort to
deep meaning, to deep intimacy,how we stop choosing safety,
even though it feelsuncomfortable, and start
preferring more aliveness whenwe're connected to deep meaning
(03:34):
in our life, when life feelsfulfilling rather than safe,
comfortable, but not sofulfilling.
We're also going to do designyour desire map.
So what are the steps that youneed to take?
And I know all of you areunique, all of you bring a lot
of gifts, and your past is thereas well.
Right, so it's different forevery woman.
Okay, jasmine, thank you.
Yes, and that's why I love towork with a group of women and I
(03:56):
do my course, 10-week course,in a group of women, because we
really start to see how I'm notalone and that it's doable, that
I can have a differentexperience of life, and also
that how society normalizes ourstruggles, how we normalize it
and say, oh, this is how it isand I can't do anything about it
.
Actually, taking responsibilityand I can do a lot about it,
(04:17):
especially when we have enoughsupport, we can change our life
experience completely.
Yeah, nice that you feel lessalone, huh, jasmine, monica,
yeah, monica, exactly that.
Once you connect to your innerradiance, men are going to
appear everywhere and it's goingto be more about who do I
choose, who am I attracted to?
That's where the trick is right, because sometimes, when we
(04:40):
bring the past and we feel shakyin our body.
We're attracted to people whoare risky.
When there's more excitement,it seems like there's more
passion, but actually it's notsustainable.
It doesn't nourish us, itdoesn't feed us.
I wonder if you relate to that.
Once we start shining,beautiful men are everywhere,
like I can assure you.
A gift of golden glitter is alove of Jess, yes, beautiful.
(05:03):
And then when I, my journey isprecious, my journey is sacred.
I'm only going to share mysexuality with someone who
honors me.
Now I'm going to treat myselfwith that honor Because we train
people in how they relate to us, and if I honor myself, then I
train other people to honormyself as well.
(05:25):
That's what we're working with.
Understand the powerful desirematrix, get deep insights into
your sexual desire, how toenhance it, learn the strategies
to overcome the barriers toyour desire and discover how to
start creating heart-meltingintimacy.
That's our mission.
I wonder how we're doing withthe mission.
Yeah, if you reflect, what kindof this is our last day?
(05:45):
If you reflect, what have youlearned?
Do you understand the sexualdesire matrix?
Do you see how to apply it inyour life?
Do you see the possibility foryou to enjoy heart-melting
intimacy?
My aim was really to live onthat mission.
I know I'm giving you a lot ofinformation and I know that to
take it further, to really havetransformation, we really need
(06:06):
to work together.
I'm giving information, but toreceive transformation I really
need to know where you're at,what's happening for you, and
because we don't see we haveblind corners, we don't see that
we need someone else to reallyhelp us to move forward.
So if you feel like this iswhat I'm sharing resonates with
you, I invite you to book asession with me and, as I said,
(06:26):
it's a free session during thechallenge, so you can book a
session.
I still have time for next week, the challenge, so you can book
a session.
I still have time for next weekand then we can talk and really
create a plan and see yourunique experience, your unique
vision and how can you get there.
You know that, as I said, whentrauma or disconnect happens in
(06:46):
the relationship, it needs toheal relationally.
That's why I still have mytherapist.
Therapist, I still have supportof a group of women that I work
with from a feminine power thatare really supporting me,
because I know that only in arelationship I can create
different experience of life formyself.
So please do book a session.
I'd be very happy to talk toyou, especially that I'm seeing
your comments and I'd love toconnect one-on-one with you.
(07:09):
It'll be beautiful.
You can really have a plan ofwhere to go from here.
So what we really looked at isthat two keys to creating deeply
fulfilling intimacy.
Key one is that we need toaccept the reality that probably
your partner is not going togive you a deep experience of
sex, of intimacy, on their ownaccord.
If you have a partner now orwith a future partner, it's not
(07:32):
about finding someone who canreally give that to you, but
it's about experiencing thatincredible power within yourself
and connecting to your ecstaticsexual energy and then inviting
your partner current one orfuture one into that experience
with you.
It's all in your power, it'sall in your hands.
I invite you, if you can, lookat your hands, put your hands in
(07:54):
front of you.
Look at your hands and say thepower is in my hands.
I can do it for myself.
No one else is going to do itfor me.
The power is in my hands, yeah,and really feel it.
I claim my power to create thelove life that I dream about,
(08:15):
that I so deeply desire.
I am claiming that the power isin my hands.
Being in stressful relationshipscauses declining health and
overall happiness.
I want to share this story fromLenny, and she's done the
course I think last year she'sdone it and she talks about it
that the power is in our hands.
Just listen to that.
I really love what she shares.
(08:36):
And also if, when you watch thewomen sharing, if we can really
bring a sense of gentleness andhonor, because in this work you
can imagine how it's not easyfor me to get video testimonials
from women because it's such asensitive area and still women
are willing because they got somuch out of the work that from
(08:58):
that they want to give it backto you.
So if you can really take itwith that honoring attitude that
these women are sharingsomething so precious because
they know how much it changedfor them and they want to do it
for you as well.
So if we listen to, Lenny.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
There's a sense of security that I've acquired deep
within myself.
I've empowered myself even morenow than what I have ever known
I could do with the help of youand the other ladies that were
in the course.
I don't have butterflies in mystomach talking about different
things with my partner anymore.
(09:33):
I open up way more readily andwe just enjoy being in that
space.
I've become softer insidetowards my partner.
I think it's helped usimmensely.
It has definitely helped us toform a bond that we didn't have
before.
We talk about things that neverentered our minds prior to doing
(09:53):
your course.
We've both had a couple ofsessions with you together,
which also has been amazinglyhelpful Definitely more open,
more trusting each other, moreto share what we've wanted to
say for the past three or fouryears since knowing each other.
Now we know we're in a safehaven to be able to do that
without any judgment or whateverthere was before I joined your
(10:16):
course.
So jointly, it's been brilliant.
We've really enjoyed it.
I think that the investment wasso worthwhile.
I'm thinking about that littleprison cell in my heart that I
was opening up quite oftenthrough the call it's wow, I can
do this now.
I don't have to hide in thatprison cell anymore.
Yeah, it's a fantastic feeling,to be honest, my heart's just a
(10:38):
lot softer and freer and morewilling to open up to things.
After doing the course, I feltradiant inside.
I felt as though I hadblossomed into a new flower.
I'm just more accepting ofmyself and of others.
Before I joined your course, Iwas putting a lot of my qualms
down to menopause, which inreality, is an excuse, because
(11:02):
we can all get ourselves out ofsituations that we think we're
in if we put our minds to it andour hearts as well.
I grew to realise that themenopause wasn't a factor.
It was more about me and how Iwas dealing with things
internally.
I've gone on HRT.
That's helped, but it's nothelped immensely.
I don't have time, is notreally relevant nowadays.
(11:25):
I know that I can put 10minutes aside for myself if I
really wanted to.
Wow.
Yeah, thank you.
Nobody else can do that for me.
You cannot do it, my partnercannot do it.
I have to do that, yeah, and Ilove this.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
And if we can all remember that and I love that
what Lenny is sharing that it'sup to us and how we can find a
lot of excuses of why things arenot working the way we want to.
But it's up to us and how wecan find a lot of excuses of why
things are not working the waywe want to.
But it's actually in our handsand our power.
The journey is not easy.
That's the thing that I thinkstops women.
They feel like it should beeasy or I don't have the energy.
(12:05):
But once we put our attentionas Lenny says beautifully our
mind and our heart to it, we canchange our whole life
experience.
We can create beautifulrelationships for ourselves.
Thank you, Lenny so much and Ihope you appreciate how deeply
she shared and it's just sobeautiful for me to see.
Yeah, I feel like a proud mama,sometimes sharing, guiding
(12:25):
women and then seeing how theytake it.
I know that it all depends onhow much their heart, their soul
they put into the work andthat's what they get out of it.
I see your comment, Jasmine.
It puts tears on my eyes aswell when I get these
testimonials, because it's justso beautiful and it's to
encourage you, so you have thepower to change your sexual
experience.
You can stop waiting.
(12:46):
You can connect to the ecstaticsexual energy in your body and
then you can invite your partnercurrent one, future one into
the delicious lovemaking withyou.
It's all possible for you.
It's not just because I'veexperienced it, but because
women I work with experience itas well.
I find when we work in a groupit's so much easier.
So that day one we worked it.
The importance of our sexualdesire, how it's not just about
(13:08):
sex, how it's about our desire,our zest for life.
Yeah, and that's the desirematrix.
If you remember this, and everytime you feel like there's a
sense of unease or you'remissing something, something's
not working out, I'd invite youto look back at the desire
matrix and see which pillar Ineed to focus on right now.
It's such a clear, easy map.
(13:30):
So when things are not workingthe way you want them to, when
you feel upset or there's angeror sadness or there's a sense of
stuckness, look at the desirematrix and see okay, which one
do I need to focus on?
Which one am I missing here?
What do I need to do?
Is it self-intimacy?
Is it that I need to expressmyself.
Is it that I need to findresonance with someone that I
(13:51):
need to express myself?
Is it that I need to findresonance with someone that I'm
actually feeling lonely?
I'm trying to do it all bymyself?
I really need that humanconnection.
Is it that I'm criticizingmyself a lot and I need to start
to appreciate my body?
Or is it that I need to go outand play, go on adventures and
go into that creativeexploration?
Yes, Kelly, and yeah, andthat's what?
(14:12):
At the end of the course, wehave this beautiful ritual at
the end, and it was amazing tosee Lenny and how she started to
shine and lots of women werereflecting.
We've just done a course wefinished in April.
It was so amazing and everyonewas like, wow, we can see the
radiance inside of you and itwas just so beautiful, Beautiful
, and I know it's possible foryou because one woman even
suggested I should do photos ofwomen before the course and
(14:33):
after the course and just in 10weeks.
It's amazing what starts toawaken, how that radiance just
shines through us and womennotice it.
That's the design matrix.
Take it with you.
That was our day two, creating anew story, and I hope you can
and I'll put more.
You'll listen to more womentalking about their experience.
It's all in service of you,seeing what's possible, creating
(14:56):
that new story for you.
Don't settle for less thandeeply fulfilling intimacy.
Don't settle for less thanfeeling beautiful, feeling
radiant in your own skin, nomatter your age, shape, size, it
doesn't matter.
The radiance is not a physicalthing.
I know that women who were morebeautiful when they're younger,
they really struggle when theystart to age because they lose
(15:17):
that physical beauty and theyhaven't connected to their
radiance.
That's what we've done in daytwo.
In day three we looked at ourbarriers, understood why we lose
sexual desire, identifiedinternal barriers.
Now I'll just remind what wedid yesterday.
So we'll talk a bit more aboutthat.
We audited your relationship andif you could, please send me,
(15:39):
email me, just the number.
What is the final number?
I'm not going to calculate thenumbers for everyone.
I've seen some of you sent me anumber for each question.
If you can add them and emailme at tarisha, at
radiantwomancoronavent, or youcan even post.
Actually it'll be nice if youpost on the group.
We talked about the old paradigm, the new paradigm and creating
a couple bubble.
(15:59):
If you haven't seen thetraining.
Please go and watch it becauseit's quite different from all
other days.
We've done it and that was theold paradigm, where we get
married, we stay together, wedie together, together.
We stay together becausesecurity is so important and we
don't have to do much work onthe relationship.
The new paradigm is creatingdeeply fulfilling intimacy.
(16:21):
Yeah, it's intimate relating,rather than an object, like a
thing, a relationship.
It's intimate relating, it's aprocess of relating with each
other.
I wonder what resonates.
Be nice to see more comments.
These are our two choices huh,yeah, waiting or actually doing
it for ourselves.
Watch it yesterday, recordingif you want to do the audit, and
(16:42):
then I'm going to send youwhere you're at in your
relationship to yourself and toothers In the relationship.
Again, how to apply the desirematrix to the relationship I'm
currently in or maybe to yourlast relationship if you're
single right now.
It's really good to see whichpart is missing in my
relationship.
If you look at yourrelationships through your life,
(17:04):
you see which pillar wasmissing.
Which pillar have I struggledwith?
So you can start seeing thepattern.
That's gonna give you a signal.
This is what I really need towork on, but it's really
eye-opening to look at yourrelationships and see what have
I missed, what hasn't worked.
For me, when I work withcouples, it's all about seeing
the pattern of how they dothings and it doesn't work.
(17:26):
And then what can we dodifferently and create a
different pattern that actuallydoes work?
I talk about it like when wedance and we just step on each
other's feet and it's reallypainful.
Then, if we see our steps, thenwe can change them so we can
create more harmony and beautyin our dance.
Nikki, we did watch ityesterday and I just want to
share it again so you see what'spossible.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'm really happy that we've been having intimacy
again, because we were prettymuch lacking for the beginning
of the course.
We didn't have intimacy formany months.
I felt maybe my heart soften alittle bit, also wanting to
practice being in my body,intimacy as well, feel that
desire coming back.
There's more connection thanwas there before.
(18:08):
It is really big.
I'm awakened more, more seedshave been planted for me.
I understand now my ownresponsibility, and it more
clearly, as well as the way I'vebeen asking for things from a
very emotional place in a lot ofmy relationship, which I feel
has caused a lot of disconnect.
I feel it's a gift tounderstand that more clearly.
(18:28):
Now I do feel my heart openmore.
I feel my body open more I feelmy yoga open, more I feel my
yoga practice change.
I feel the way I navigate mycommunication change.
So it's satisfying to do thiswork.
It's not easy, though.
It's also honestly helped meprocess my sexual rape and my
trauma.
I could see any womanbenefiting any stage of
(18:51):
navigation of theirrelationships or with themselves
.
I feel this is the part of ourworld that we're missing to be
taught these things.
Everything outside of our lifeis stemming from here.
Speaking more from my ownexperience of my trauma.
I really don't think there aremany places I ever felt in my
life that I could come into, besafe in this way.
(19:12):
And I would just say to anotherwoman it is a safe space and it
is expansive and it isdifficult, but they're worthy of
that.
I wouldn't say that it tookaway from the experience at all.
I think it was just as powerful, even in the same sense.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
That's another experience for actually what's
possible for me Now we're goingto look at the sexually
empowered radiant womanfive-step method.
And for me Now we're going tolook at the sexually empowered
radiant woman five-step method.
And my invitation for you takeyour journal and see which step.
What do I need to do?
What is my next step?
I know it can be overwhelmingwhen we look at the whole
picture, and I'm going to giveyou a bird's eye view, which is
really important to see.
But what is my next step?
(19:46):
First of all, if we look at whatdoes it mean to be a sexually
empowered radiant woman?
And now, take note, whichaspect is important for you?
I talk about it in five aspects, right, in terms of five
aspects, and it's all relational.
So aspect number one of being asexually empowered radiant
woman is your relationship toyourself and your value.
(20:08):
Yeah, and that goes toself-intimacy.
How does she relate?
She values herself, she feelslike my value is never in
question.
She's confident, she's solid inwho she is.
I feel deeply connected tomyself and she feels herself
with life, with joy, withpleasure.
She feels like I'm responsibleright for myself and I give
myself what I need.
(20:28):
Also, she's at peace with herchoices and for me that was a
big journey to actually choosemyself, choose my life and
choose all my choices.
I choose myself.
I know I've made some mistakes,I know I could have done
something different, but Ichoose all of that.
It happened and I'm okay.
I'm at peace with my choices.
So I wonder if that makes sense, but actually choosing whatever
(20:51):
we've done this is my past,this is what I'm at right now
and I'm choosing all of me.
I'm not trying to push any partof me aside.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
So that's the first aspect.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Then the next aspect is the relationship to her body.
It relates to the desire,matrix, appreciation of the body
and how she feels she's atpeace with her body.
Yeah, she feels at home in herbody.
My body is my temple.
She's comfortable in her ownskin, doesn't matter even if
she's not the side that shewants to be right shape, she
doesn't.
She's not, she doesn't want tobe.
(21:24):
She's still comfortable andshe's taking care of her body
and she doesn't punish herself.
She does it because she wantsto take care of her body rather
than I need to lose weightbecause then I'll be more
lovable.
Actually, I want to take careof myself.
I want to feel healthier and Iknow that's what's going to be
good for me.
Notice how it's quite different.
Instead of punishing, I'mtaking care of myself.
(21:46):
That's what it means to be asexually impoverished woman.
It doesn't mean that we have tobe looking perfect.
That's not what it is.
It's how do I relate to my body?
Am I taking care of myself oram I trying to punish and get
attention, get love, throughpunishing my body?
Does it make sense?
I'd love to see your commentsthere.
Next one next aspect isrelationship to her pleasure and
(22:08):
her sexuality.
Sexually empowered radiantwoman owns her pleasure.
She owns her sexuality.
She knows it's up to me to findwhat turns me on, what turns me
off.
She asks for what she wants andthat's where the erotic voice
comes in, and she enjoysemotionally connected sexuality.
She really feels empowered inher choices.
I know what I need, I can speakit, I can ask for it and I can
(22:33):
choose people who are good forme.
So that's aspect number three.
Aspect number four isrelationship to her emotions and
self-expression.
A sexually empowered, radiantwoman allows all of her emotions
to be there.
She doesn't say I can feel that, but not that.
Because if we don't feel onepart of our like, sometimes like
(22:53):
anger right, we don't want tofeel anger, we're pushed away,
but then we really reduce ouremotional expression and then we
can't feel as much joy, wecan't feel as much happiness.
We have to develop and expandour emotional range.
She's okay with all of heremotions and she sees her
emotions as messengers.
Emotions tell me.
(23:15):
What's of balance?
Where do I need to focus,rather than oh, I'm so emotional
, it feels so bad.
Actually, oh, I'm curious aboutmy emotions.
Where is this coming from?
What's happening?
What do I need to do?
What do I need to change?
She's fully embracing all ofher emotions and especially her
sexuality as well.
When making love, I don't haveto just be happy and joyful.
I can bring my sadness, myanger, my frustration to
(23:38):
lovemaking in a consensual waywith my partner and then
self-expression, what sheexpresses, but she attuned to
others and that's where we cometo the resonance place.
It's not that I'm just going toexpress whatever I want to
express, because this is who Iam, but actually I see the
effect I'm having on otherpeople and I'm going to be
(23:58):
attuned.
It's not just I have to justlet go of everything.
I'm expressing my emotions withthe intention of creating more
love and more connection.
That's very important.
What is my intention behindexpressing myself?
Because I want to create morelove and more connection, more
authenticity.
That's very important aspectthat I see.
Sometimes we lose when we'regoing to really starting to
(24:19):
express ourselves and then wemight hurt other people.
It happens we're going to hurtother people, but actually, okay
, I'm here to attune and expresswith the intention of creating
more connection.
I wonder if that makes sense.
So the last one relationship toothers.
That's the last aspect.
How does she relate right.
A sexually empowered womancreates safe and consensual
relationships.
She's really clear with herboundaries.
(24:40):
She knows what works for her,what doesn't work, but they're
not brick wall boundaries.
I'm talking about brick wallboundaries or chaotic boundaries
.
Chaotic is like when we're likewe just we can let people push
into us and then we push back.
We let people come too close orjust step on us and then we
push back, and that's chaoticboundary, break wall boundaries.
(25:01):
Nah, you're just right thereand don't come near me.
Flexible boundaries is where Isee where I'm at, I feel safe in
myself, I express myself andthen I see how other person
responds.
I check it out and if theyrespond in a way that feels good
for me, then I can come closerto them.
I can open up a bit more.
If it doesn't feel right, thenI can close and say no, that's
(25:26):
not my person.
But it's really that findingthat resonance, the flexible
boundaries how do you find theresonance?
And then the other piece withsexually impoverished women is
that she's able to surrender tolove Because she feels deeply
safe inside herself.
She's willing to open up andtake that risk and surrender.
She doesn't bring her past withher and all the hurts that
close her heart she's actually.
(25:47):
I know things might havehappened in the past, but right
now I feel safe in myself.
I've checked out this person,this resonance here, and I can
open and surrender to love.
I wonder, like what resonateswith you, what makes sense?
Yeah, thank you Jasmine.
But right, when we let peoplecross our boundaries, yeah, then
we might go back and push themback further, and I really would
(26:10):
love to invite you to changeyour language around it.
It's not that people arecrossing my boundaries, it's
that I'm letting other peoplecross my boundaries.
Notice how that's different,because if it's like they're
just crossing and I can't doanything about it, we feel
victimized, we feel powerlessand out of control.
But actually, oh, I'm lettingpeople, I'm being with people
(26:34):
that are not maybe good for me.
I'm letting people cross myboundaries.
Maybe I'm not saying clearlywhat I need from them.
Then I can do something aboutit.
Okay, so for now, I'd love youif you can journal which aspect
you feel is important for you.
What is your next step?
Is it the relationship toyourself and your value?
That my value is never inquestion?
Is it your relationship to yourbody?
That I'm taking care of my body, appreciate my body?
(26:54):
Is it the relationship to yourpleasure and your sexuality?
Is it the relationship to yourpleasure and your sexuality?
Is it the relationship to youremotions and self-expression, or
is it your relationship toothers?
What is the one like importantbit, which one do you feel like?
That's where I need to focus onmaybe you can just write it
down which is the importantaspect a relationship to
yourself and her value, arelationship to her body, to her
(27:17):
emotions and self-expression,to sexuality and others.
If I just check in with myself,what feels good, what doesn't,
and it's flexible that's why Icall them flexible boundaries I
check in, does it feel good ornot?
I totally trust myself, I'm inmy body.
(27:38):
Does it feel good or not?
And then I can let people in ormaybe not.
I keep on checking in ratherthan testing.
Checking in, right, I tune intomyself, checking in and having
flexible boundaries.
Monica, I understand that all ofthem are important, but if you
can choose one, because whenit's all, it's difficult, it's
overwhelming.
But what is the one piece thatfeels like yeah, and so I'll
(28:00):
just put them again, right?
What is the one piece that youfeel like?
That'll be, that's what'simportant for me right now.
That's what really jumps at me.
Which one is it?
Yeah, we cover all of them inthe 10-week course.
We really look at all of them.
If you want help again withthat, please do book a call with
(28:23):
me.
I think the link is right therein the comments.
We can have a chat and it'sfree of charge.
There are no strings attached.
If you want to work with mefurther, I'd be very happy.
If you don't, that's okay aswell, and we're going to look at
actually what are your nextsteps.
Yeah, monica, value yourself.
(28:44):
Yes, how would your life be ifmy value is never in question?
So it's nice to find what is mylinchpin.
What is the one?
next step, so I'm not gettingoverwhelmed.
What's important to know isthat it's not a problem that
resolves itself.
If we have past hurts, if wehave inner critical voice, it's
not going to heal by itself.
We actually need to focus.
If we have relational patternsthat are not working for us,
it's not going to change byitself.
It's up to you to change it.
(29:05):
Quite often, you do need newperspectives, you do need new
insights.
That's why I see, when we workwith a group of women, you get
perspective and insights fromother women it's not just from
me and it's become such apowerful container.
Then you can start enjoyingemotionally connected sexuality.
Then you can attract the personthat's right for you.
I'll just have a sip of waterand we'll watch this last video
(29:26):
and then we're going to go intothe five steps.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
It's bringing more of myself to everything.
It's that bigness againbringing more total version of
me to both myself and others.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Quite a different experience of life, huh, when
you bring more of you.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Yeah, A real sense of reconnecting with the body
itself, coming alive into it,having that aliveness come up
and affect everything More, thatsense of wholeness which I
didn't have before.
Doing this work From the feetup, from the ground up, having a
feeling of my whole being as asexual being, a totality, rather
(30:02):
than something just in one partof my body.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
I have to say it's one of the most powerful
workshops I've ever done in mylife.
I'm 54 and I've done a lot ofworkshops in my life.
Teresha rolls very beautifully,keeping everybody safe.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
She's just got so much experience.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
I feel more love for myself.
I feel more open.
I feel like my energy is justfast.
What more is possible?
I love that.
I love that.
What more is possible?
I feel more playful.
I just feel like I want todance around my lounge with my
cat or be a bit sillier or morecreative.
Speaker 6 (30:37):
It's just amazing.
Compared to where I was acouple of months ago, I feel so
much lighter and freer, but alsoconnected to myself as well,
and I am expressing myself more,which is wonderful.
It feels so healthy to actuallyspeak up about things that I've
kept down for so long.
(30:58):
It brings with it a sense ofcalm and peace as well.
I feel like I float more everyday as I move around, so thank
you, tricia.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Being more connected to myself, more connected to
living authentically both inmyself and with others, more
meaning.
I know I'm answering my needsfor connection in a different
way because I don't want anauthentic connection now, what
we're experiencing working withyou is boundary breaking, not
just personally, but culturally.
(31:30):
You share celebration orexcitement?
Speaker 6 (31:33):
There's something incredible about the way she
works and the techniques thatshe gives, so that you know
you're in control of everything.
You have everything inside youand it's the techniques to help
you draw it out in thesepractices, so you're in complete
control of your own journey andyour own healing.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
It's definitely opened stuff up for me and I
want to continue on this journey, being my true self.
I love myself fully.
It's helped me so so much.
I highly recommend this coursefor anybody who wants to grow.
Growing is amazing.
Thank you, teresa.
You are a bundle of love, andall the best to the beautiful
(32:13):
people out there More wonder,more magic, more possibility.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Beautiful, but that's what's possible for you as well
.
What's important is that you'rehere and you make the decision.
I'm not putting it on a backburner.
My fulfillment, my relationwith my body, my fulfilling
sexual life it's actually soimportant for me right now
because that's what's going tochange your life experience.
I can see clearly your question.
It doesn't make things confusingwhen our boundaries are
(32:42):
flexible.
But that's why I'm talkingabout intimate relating, not
being in a relationship, becausewith intimate relating, it's a
constant process and thingschange.
Right, we change from day today.
Being women, we're attuned tothe moon cycle.
We change and we can't say thisis, and when we have the break
boundaries, this is just the wayit is.
(33:03):
There are some places whereit's not negotiables right, it's
more about okay.
There are some places whereit's like it's not okay for you
to call me names, that's more ofthat's not my negotiable.
But then we have the flexibleboundaries where how much
boundary is more?
How much I open myself to you,how much I let you step into my
place, that we can check inevery day, we feel differently
(33:26):
Is our partner present with us?
Is the other person presentwith us?
But I keep on checking in.
How much can I open myself?
The thing is, the safer we feelinside ourselves, the more we
can open ourselves to love toother people, because we don't
feel like I'm going to getbroken and damaged and smashed
if the other person rejects me.
(33:46):
I feel safe inside myself and Ican open more and more because
I trust that I'm not going tocollapse.
I trust myself.
I feel the deep love for myselfinside myself.
So when the other person isdoing something that hurts me,
I'm actually okay within myselfand that's why I'm willing to
take the risk and open more.
The thing is, the more we openup, the more joy we start to
have, the more fulfillingrelationships we start to have.
(34:09):
I just spent time with my bestfriend and I told her I started
to feel like I don't feel likeyou love me as much now.
It was quite a vulnerable thingfor me to share with her, but I
can trust myself, right, I cantrust her.
She said, oh, just because it'swinter and I start to feel a
bit depressed and nothing feelsso right.
And then we came back intoconnection again.
Yeah, but if I feel like shedoes something and then I close
(34:30):
my heart, then it feels soconstricting for me and the love
is not flowing.
But actually taking the risk.
And even if she said no, Idon't love you anymore, I'd
still be okay, I wouldn'tcollapse.
So it's really important tofind that safety inside and
feeling.
How can I keep on opening up tomore love, invite more intimacy,
because I know I'm not going tocollapse because of that
(34:52):
rejection?
Does that make sense?
So this is the Radiant womanmethod five steps.
I'll give you a bit of apractice and write down what is
the step for you.
So first, we really need toactivate our potential.
We need to create a new storyof what's possible for us.
That's why I've been showingyou the videos of other women
right, that you can really step.
(35:14):
What's possible for me, thatit's not just from my past, what
I've experienced, but what ifmore is possible for me If I
open up to my deepest longings,to my deepest desires, which we
did in session two, if you wantto go back there, what's
possible for me?
It's so important to allowyourself dream, allow yourself
to step into that possibility.
I see how, when we're in agroup of women, it's so much
(35:37):
easier for us to open up to morepossibility.
When we're by ourselves, we canoften constrict ourselves, we
feel like, no, that's notpossible.
I'm either too old or it's toolate or the right person is not
there.
The mind creates thatconstriction in ourselves.
And checking with yourself ifthat happens for you Right now,
what do you feel is possible foryou?
If you just check in, you mightclose your eyes, lower your
(35:59):
gaze as it relates to your body,to your sexuality, to
relationships, to intimacy, whatdo you feel is possible for you
?
And this is the voice thattells you now that's not
possible for me, a voice thatrestricts, constrains you.
That's important to noticebecause if you don't let
yourself dream and feel what'spossible, you're going to settle
and you're not going to takethe action that's required.
(36:21):
If I feel it's not possible forme, I'm not even going to go
for that.
But if I deeply knew thatamazing, soulful feeling,
intimacy is possible for me,heart-melting intimacy is
possible for me, I'll have morewillingness, I'll have way more
motivation to actually take theactions.
So quite often we crumble on thefirst step.
I wonder if that resonates.
So then the next step we needto release past traumas.
(36:46):
We need to work with our innercritical voice and transform
that inner critical voice intoour support figure.
I do it through a lot ofpractices.
We can't think our way throughthis.
We actually need to experiencethe shift in our body and start
relating to ourselves in adifferent way.
Also in that step, it's reallyimportant to see what's been
passed down to us generationsfrom generations.
(37:07):
I do a process where we work onhow do I let go of the past,
how do I become clear and what'snot mine when I stop to carry
it and put that down and saythat stops with me, it's not
mine.
I can see it's been passed downto me, but I'm not willing to
let it affect me in the future.
Now I'd love to have a littlepractice and we're going to do
(37:29):
the Ho'oponopono prayer.
I invite you to maybe hugyourself or touch yourself
gently, maybe put your hand onyour heart hand on your belly
hand, on your belly hand, onyour urinary, whatever feels
comfortable for you.
I invite you to speak out loud,not in your head, but speak it
out loud.
Speak this prayer to yourselfI'm sorry, please forgive me.
Thank you, I love you.
(37:51):
And if you just keep onspeaking that, I'm sorry, please
forgive me.
Thank you, I love you.
Just keep on speaking, holdingyourself gently, and I invite
(38:31):
you to do that prayer and it'sbeautiful to look at yourself in
the mirror and say that prayerto yourself.
I'm sorry, please forgive me,thank you, I love you.
I'm sorry, please forgive me,thank you, I love you.
And it's just one of the ways Ioffer to work within a critic,
where we start to meld thosecritical voices inside and start
to meld the trauma they heard.
Tell me how that was for you.
I invite you to do five minutesof the practice Looking in the
(38:53):
mirror.
Nice, when you brush your teethin the morning, you just do
that practice.
Then we go to step number three.
And step number three we reallyneed to come back into the body
, start drop from living in thehead, coming back into the body
so we can unlock the ancientwisdom of our bodies, because
our bodies carry so much andconnecting to the body, so our
body becomes our inner GPS thatI'm not trying to think through
(39:17):
right when I'm meeting otherpeople.
It's not that I'm trying togive a list and what works, what
doesn't, even though it'suseful, but actually I have the
deeper trust in myself Is thisgood for me or not and I'm
willing to follow on it.
Yeah, that's very important andthere are a lot of practices of
how do we actually connect tothat inner body wisdom.
And also, in this step, I offerbody blueprints.
(39:37):
There are different bodyblueprints, how we relate to our
body, and when we see thatblueprint, it's quite
transformational for women whenthey start to see how they
relate to their body and then wego into the place where my body
is my home.
My body is a gift.
I think in session two wetalked more about that blueprint
, but it's so important toidentify where am I at right now
(39:58):
?
Quite often it's our blindcorner.
We can't see it by ourselves.
So then the next step is wereally need to start activating
the power of our sexuality.
But see how we can't activatethe power of our sexuality
before we clear the negativevoices and judgment and trauma,
before we connect our body.
Only then we can go intosexuality because it happens
right in the body, and we can'tactivate the power of our
(40:21):
sexuality if we have this in acritical voice all the time,
because that's going to shut usdown, that's going to make us
feel self-conscious.
So it's so important to gothrough the steps.
Can you see that?
Does it make sense that if I amjudging myself badly or if I
have past trauma, unprocessedpast sexual trauma, then I
actually can't bring them beauty?
I really need to see and it'snot that I need to heal all of
(40:43):
that, but I need to become clearwhat it is and then I can start
bringing beauty, creating thepower inside.
Also, in that step, what I seewomen, if they feel like it's
not safe for me to feel radiantand sexual, then they shut
themselves down as well.
So, again, we need to connectour body first so we can bring
that safety, we can startfeeling safe inside ourselves
(41:04):
and then we can bring thatradiance and sexuality.
But see how they all reallydepend on each other.
The steps I wonder if thatmakes sense.
Beautiful, thank you, jasmine.
Yes, then the next step wereally need to create our
radiance map, and what I mean bythat is that we need to have a
practice that we do every day,five minutes, 15 minutes a day.
(41:26):
I give lots of practice in mycourse, but it really depends
which one works for you, whichone opens up something in you.
But it's so crucial to actuallyhave a practice to sustain you,
to sustain your radiance tokeep on expanding, especially on
the days that we don't feelgood about ourselves.
So important to do the practice, because that's what's going to
shift your state.
What's important is that youshift your state where you're
(41:50):
living from right, where you'recommunicating, from where you're
relating to others and toyourself, from.
Practice is going to help youto shift your state.
It's so important to findsomething that really works for
you.
Okay, so these are the fivesteps of the Sexually Empowered
Radiant Woman Method.
Tell me which one feelsimportant for you and if you
need some help with this.
(42:10):
As we all need support and youare unique, I really invite you
to share your call with me andwe can diagnose what's going on
and design your unique map forwhere you need to go, how you
can awaken your desire, how youcan enjoy sexually connected
intimacy.
Maybe you need to align withwhat's possible, step into the
possibility.
Maybe you need to clear pastincidences that you're still
(42:31):
carrying.
Maybe you need to learn how toconnect your heart to your
sexuality.
I know sometimes we might feellike, oh, will this work for me?
You might have doubts inyourself, maybe you have doubt
in me, and then I'm not yourperson.
So that's important for me.
That's why I spend these fivedays with you, so you can see
the way I teach, if thatresonates with you.
I just want to tell you a story, because when I hear people say
(42:54):
, will this work for me, is thispossible for me, I really see
that people don't trustthemselves.
It's not about other people,but it's actually I don't trust
myself.
I feel like this is notpossible for me.
I remember myself when myparents immigrated to New
Zealand when I was 17.
We came from Russia and my dadsaid that I should be an
accountant and I thought, okay,I'll be an accountant.
(43:15):
I couldn't speak much English.
I felt quite depressed.
I loved being in Russia.
I missed Russia badly, missedmy friends.
I left my boyfriend there.
It was a really painful time.
So I decided to become anaccountant and then I worked for
Grand Thornton for four yearsand I started to feel like in a
straight jacket.
I started to feel like in astraight jacket.
(43:35):
I started to feel so like mylife was meaningless.
It was comfortable, I hadenough money, it was secure, but
I felt so distressed because itfelt like my aliveness, like I
was dying, and it washeartbreaking.
Yeah, it felt so heartbreakingthat here I am, I should be so
alive and I'm not feeling it.
And then I started to hear thiscall.
(43:58):
It's like you need to go, youneed to go, you need to leave.
So I left, I resigned and I'vedecided to become a therapist.
Yeah, I've decided that this isthat's my new path.
I remember how much doubt I had.
I was like I've already done myaccountancy degree.
I can't study anymore.
I can't speak English.
Who do I think I am?
(44:18):
I can't really help people.
It's just, it's not.
What can I do for other people?
I can't even fix myself here.
Irrespective of the doubt Ireally I was keeping on showing
up.
I've done the right courses.
I got so much support.
I went to university to study.
I'm so happy I did that becauseI really see how I went from
(44:40):
safety into actually what'smeaningful for me, what deeply
fulfills me, trusting myself andsponsoring myself.
Even when my dad kept on sayingI go back to accountancy, this
is not safe, this is not good,this is too much risk, I kept on
standing up for myself.
Now, like today, just in themorning, I have this beautiful
(45:01):
couple who are going through atough time, and just to see how
much love they have for eachother, how I can hold that space
for them.
It's really yeah, it soinspires me.
I know when I was an accountantI'd never have this meaningful
relationship with people.
I'd never have this meaningfulrelationship with people.
I'd never have something whereI could contribute so much.
(45:24):
And I'm sure if we go back, ifyou were there with me, you
would really support me.
I see my friends now thatsupport me that say no, you stay
with it because this is whatyou're meant to do.
You're so good at this.
So I really would love tosupport you that, if that deep
desire is there, please supportyourself, please sponsor
yourself, find help to supportyou in stepping into more
(45:46):
radiance, more confidence, increating that beautiful
relationship for yourself.
Please stand up for yourselfand feel if this is deeply
meaningful for you, make.
Make the choices and they couldbe tough choices.
Commit your time, commityourself to actually creating
that what you want in your life,because otherwise it's not
going to happen.
And, as Lenny beautifully said,we all can find the time, the
(46:10):
money to actually create thatlife for ourselves.
It's not because things happenoutside, because of men opposed,
because of menopause, becausewe don't have time because there
are not good people around.
It's all up to us.
That's what I really would loveto leave you with.
Please email me or you canprivate message me if you want
the session with me where we cantalk more.
If I'm not your person, findsomeone else who can support you
(46:31):
in that, but just know thatit's possible and you have to
commit yourself.
That's the home play for today.
If you can do the Ho'oponoponopractice again, please do share
your takeaways and comment on atleast three other women.
Please don't wait for heartmelting sex, but cause it to
happen in your life.
I've been so happy to be herewith you.
It's quite exciting for me tobe able to speak to you, and
(46:55):
please do email me.
Keep on contacting each other,keep on commenting and I'll see
you in the group with a big warmhug.
Bye.
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