161. When the Plan Falls Apart: Parenting, Values, and Asking the Hard Questions

Sometimes the plan for the episode… totally sucks. In this conversation, I scrap my original idea mid-recording and bring you into what’s actually alive in my world right now: parenting an 11-year-old, navigating big emotions, asking scary questions, and coming back (over and over) to my values as a mom.

We talk about what it means to hold space for your kids’ real struggles, why “because I said so” isn’t a value, and how to stay in the room when your child is wrestling with belonging, insecurity, and the very human fear of not being liked. It’s an honest peek into how I’m fumbling, regulating, repairing, and choosing relationship on purpose.

TOPICS & TANGENTS:

• Life updates: Colorado snow, moving (again), and starting 2026 in a new home
• Parenting an 11-year-old: hormones, friendship dynamics, and fitting in
• The conversation no parent wants to have: asking your child directly about self-harm
• Why kids need us to ask the hard questions out loud
• Creating safety: therapy for boys, emotional literacy, and modeling vulnerability
• Why “because I said so” is not a parenting value
• Mutual respect, consequences, and holding boundaries after a big emotional moment
• Curiosity as a parenting tool: better questions than “How was your day?”
• When your child’s biggest fear mirrors your own (and what to do with that)
• Remembering: you can’t be the parent you want to be from a dysregulated state

POINT OF THE STORY:
You will never feel “ready” or fully qualified for the version of parenting you’re in, it’s all first-time territory. But when the plan falls apart, coming back to your core values, staying curious, and being brave enough to ask the hard questions builds the kind of relationship where your kids actually bring you their real life.

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MORE ABOUT ASH
I am the definition of duality — I swear like a sailor and break rules like it’s my job, but I also hold incredible space for my clients and work my ass off to help them achieve the success they’re after. But I'm also here for the non-preneur woman, too. My background in counseling gives me a unique perspective on what it means to show up, serve, & create connection for those who feel like they've never belonged before.

LINKS:

• Become the Regulated Woman
• Get emails that feel like your best friend (if your best friend was a therapist and actually told you the truth).
• Use code BB20 to get The Burnout Breakthrough for only $7
• Follow me on IG (dropping in once a quarter for updates & gossip)
• Website: ashmcdonaldmentoring.com

Work with me 1:1

• Therapeutic Mentorship
• Business Therapy (therapy + strategic mentorship)
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