November 12, 2025 • 55 mins
The holiday rush came roaring back and, for a weekend, the mall felt alive again. We landed a two-week pop-up at the Bangor Mall, solved a tough layout challenge, and ended up with a space that felt like our own shop—clean sightlines, a long counter for checkout, and room for people to browse without bumping shoulders. Pair that with neighbors selling handcrafted American flags and our tees hanging in the windows all week, and we saw what seasonal storefronts can do: bring community into the brand and remind us why relationship retail matters.
We share the small wins that add up to real momentum: doubling last year’s numbers at the same event, reconnecting with loyal families who show up every time, and feeling the old-school buzz of busy hallways and shared smiles. That energy sparked bigger thinking. A full-time shop may not fit our model, but strategic pop-ups during the right seasons could blend the best of brick-and-mortar and e-commerce—deep relationships in person and lasting connections online. We talk candidly about planning for lean months, restocking smart, and choosing events that match our audience instead of chasing every fair on the map.
Then we turn to something heavier and more important. The headlines about a young pro athlete’s death by suicide shook us, and a recent night of worry for someone close brought the topic home. We unpack a simple “onion” approach to mental health: start with the people at your center and work outward, checking in with real questions and real time. Tell folks you love them. Tell them you want them to stay. Make space for “I’m not okay” without judgment. It’s not about fixing everything—it’s about being there long enough for hope to return.
If this resonated, share it with someone who needs the reminder, leave a review to help more listeners find the show, and hit follow so you don’t miss what’s next. And if you need someone to listen, reach out. It’s okay to not be okay—and you don’t have to carry it alone.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
On this week's episode of Share the Struggle
Podcast, we over here at LoudProud American catch that
holiday buzz.
We get a little taste of what itwould be like to have our own
storefront.
And we wrap up the show with anunfortunate but necessary
conversation on mental health.
(00:23):
Let me tell you something.
Everybody struggles.
The difference is some peoplechoose to go through it and some
choose to grow through it.
The choice is completely yours.
Which one you choose will have avery profound effect on the way
you live your life.
(01:33):
What it how did it do?
Am I so excited to be back withyou?
Oh, it is true.
It is damn true.
Episode 279, and I hope y'all befeeling oh so fine.
Because you know I am.
I'm feeling oh so fine becauseit is you and me together again.
(01:56):
Oh, it's true, baby.
279 consecutive weeks thisweekly podcast brought to you by
the fine folks over to LoudProud American, where we do all
things American, bringing backAmerican manufacturing, focusing
on American jobs, andemphasizing that American
spirit.
This here podcast is properly,precisely, beautifully,
(02:19):
perfectly named Share theStruggle.
Because the truth is, boys andgirls, chipmunks and squirrels,
everybody struggles.
We know it to be true.
But we also know the truth iswhen you will share your story,
when you have the strength toshare your story, then there is
strength that comes from thatstory.
And together we can all growfrom that story.
(02:42):
We gather here week to week toshare whatever it is that we are
going through, growing throughthe highs, the lows, the
difficulties, every which way wego.
Mm-mm.
279 weeks, man.
I I uh every time I push recordon the podcast and I just
mention that little fun fact,and I think about the fact that
(03:03):
we've been doing this week afterweek, and as the numbers keep
going up and we cross two years,three years, four years, five
years, it's uh it'sheartwarming, it's impressive,
it's uh I don't even know how tosummarize it, y'all.
I just want to say thank you.
I want to say thank you to eachand every one of you.
If you're a day one, a loyalone, you've been here since the
(03:26):
beginning, get your ones up.
I appreciate you.
I acknowledge you.
You know that I love you.
If you are a day one, as in thisone, just happens to be your
first one, then welcome.
We here at uh Share the TrugglePodcast are building this
positive tribe, this positivevibe, and we welcome you to join
(03:49):
us.
It's crazy to think through allthe years, and I think maybe I'm
starting to feel a littlenostalgic as we get into the
holiday season and we startthinking about um, you know,
being grateful and counting ourblessings, and I'm certainly
going to count each and everyone of you as blessings as we
gather around the LibertyThanksgiving table this year.
So maybe that's why, you know,as you start to um get in that
(04:12):
that mode of really justappreciating things, which I
encourage you to do that at alltimes of the year.
Don't wait for Hallmarkprescribed opportunity.
But I just came from a Christmasfair, so maybe that's what it
is.
I'm starting to get the spiritin the air, but I just wanted to
take the time to say thank you.
If this is your first time, ifyou've been here um all the
(04:32):
time, I appreciate you, and itmeans a lot to me that you
continue to be here.
And uh it's funny you run intosome people that were listening
to the show solid for like ayear or so, then we lose them,
and then they come back, andit's um, you know, we all go
through seasons of life, so alot of listeners come and go,
and um, I'm here with open armswhenever you decide to uh show.
(04:55):
So I appreciate you.
Just wanted y'all to know that.
In the little preview of today'sshow, I mentioned that us here
at Loud Proud America, and wehave caught the holiday bug.
The old Christmas spirit is inthe air around here, and um, I
think maybe that it goes with alot of things.
(05:15):
Number one, the the temperaturein the air is dropping, right?
So when that starts to happen,y'all know what's coming.
It's getting cold out there.
We've seen, I shall say, a fewsnowflakes the other day.
So just putting that out intothe atmosphere as well.
So we're hunkering down, we'regearing up for that, and we just
(05:36):
had another road show, anotherevent.
We went to Bangor, to the BangorMall, and this is a unique event
for us.
We did this last year, but weonly did one weekend last year,
and this year we're signed upfor both weekends.
So it's a Saturday, Sunday show,two weeks in a row, and we were
able to get ourselves into anactual storefront, which to kind
(06:00):
of paint the picture, somebodyunderstands what this is like.
There's a company over there, afurniture store.
This lady Kathy owns a furniturestore, and she does an amazing
job uh putting everythingtogether.
So she books hundreds ofvendors, and vendors take over
all the walkways all through themall.
They take over all the abandonedstorefronts.
Some of the small stores, maybeone vendor, will have this whole
(06:22):
store.
Some of the larger stores, youcould have 30 different vendors
in there, and um, it's just areally cool thing to see.
It gives an opportunity forcrafters and small business
owners, entrepreneurs all tocome together and uh showcase
their products, but it gives youthe feeling of uh being in the
mall, of actually having astorefront, having a brick and
(06:44):
mortar for those of us thatdon't have one.
Last year, this was a reallycool feeling.
We had a um shitty, let's justget the confession out the way.
I had a shitty location lastyear.
It was dark, it was dingy, wedidn't get a warm reception.
The um some of the otheroccupants of the room, let's
say, didn't really welcome uswith open arms, and there's some
(07:06):
tenants in there that justcaused issues and were smashing
into our tent and just raising aruckus.
So I refuse to go back to thatroom.
And the walkways, the the aislesin the mall are tremendous for
foot traffic, but I almost feellike people aren't allowed to
shop because it's so damn busy,you can't slow down to shop.
(07:27):
And with the being in thehallway or the walkway of the
mall, you have to pack up andleave at the end of the weekend.
If you can get a storefront, youcan book it for two weeks in a
row.
So for us, we're able to show upon a Friday, set up our display,
and then be open Saturday,Sunday, close the doors, go
home.
They lock the doors to thestorefront, and I can return on
(07:47):
Saturday and open back up and beopen Saturday, Sunday, then pack
up and come home.
So that in itself has addedanother layer of believability
when you start to think abouthaving your own store.
So I hope I've done an okay jobof kind of creating the uh the
image of what's going on here,and I wish I could include some
(08:08):
some video to show you how thisactually looks, but um, it's a
really amazing feeling.
And the best way I can describethis to you guys is when you're
there and the hustle and bustlepicks up and things just take
off.
It reminds me of the mall atChristmas time when I was a kid.
Like it reminds me of going outon Black Friday and just
(08:34):
defending yourself and thecrowd.
You know what I mean?
Going out there bargain shoppingand uh just making things
happen.
That's what it reminds me of.
It's been so busy there thatit's hard for me to actually get
video to show everybody likewhat it looks like, what's going
on out there.
Um and but I I went out thereand I ended up having a
(08:55):
conversation.
I was stopped by some of myregulars and favorite customers
and great family, uh theTracy's.
They had stopped me.
Uh they came in to see me, theycome in to see me every time.
Actually, they'll come in bothweekends, and uh they spend a
tremendous amount of money andand really just support us and
love us, and that's part of thereasons why, or some of the most
important reasons why wecontinue to go back to some of
(09:16):
these northern locations.
But I was talking to them in thewalkway and just people
everywhere, and I said, Man,this is what I remember being a
kid.
This is what I remember aboutthe stores when I was a kid.
Over the past few years,especially since COVID, brick
and mortar relationship retailhas really suffered.
It's gone by the wayside.
(09:36):
People can't afford to payemployees.
There's people that just don'twant to work anymore.
Everybody appreciates theconvenience of ordering shit
from their couch, and you losethe social aspect of shopping,
you lose the customerexperience, you lose the buying
experience, you lose thatrelationship retail that we love
(09:57):
about our product and we loveabout what we do.
We meet people, we fosterconnections and relationships.
That's what we like about beingon the road and selling our
product.
We want to know the people thatare wearing our stuff.
It's more exciting for us tohear from somebody hey man, I
love this stuff.
Seeing the look on their facewhen they find us for the first
time or they come back for thehundredth time, that just makes
(10:19):
it all worthwhile.
That makes the sacrifice, thatmakes the journey, that makes
the ups and downs seemworthwhile.
It's also tremendous to have abunch of sales come in on your
website.
I'm gonna be honest.
But getting out there andmeeting people, it just special,
right?
And we have really built thefoundation and the philosophy
that if we go out and reallypound the pavement for so many
(10:41):
years, we can build therelationships that hopefully
continue with us online so wedon't have to be on the road as
much, and I can be more presentfor my family and um attend all
the little important things thatPaisley has to go to, right?
So that's part of the big planat hand.
But those things, thoseexperiences suffered, they've
suffered since COVID.
People don't uh go out and shopanymore.
(11:02):
You go out, you becomeaccustomed to getting shitty
service, waiting in long lineswith piss poor customer service,
and um it's just sad, right?
It's just sad, and you've goneaccustomed to going to your
local mall and seeing that youknow 60-70% of the mall is
vacant.
It's um closed stores with barsin the windows, and um they're
(11:24):
just the the building itself isnot up kept like it used to be.
I remember one of the coolestthings and one of the greatest
accomplishments when you were inas a young child, that rite of
passage when you were allowed tobe left at the mall alone with
your friends.
That was incredible.
Then as you graduated to thepoint of you and your friends
(11:46):
driving to the mall together,whether you're spending time in
the arcades, the food court,you're buying things, you're
raising all kinds of heckeverywhere you go.
That was a rite of passage, thatwas an achievement, that was an
accomplishment.
We spent all damn weekend at themall, right?
That was a big deal.
And I don't think kids give twohoots about the mall anymore.
(12:08):
So standing in the walkways onuh Sunday and being run over by
people, I just felt nostalgic.
I felt like this is the way it'ssupposed to be, this is what um
businesses need, this is whatsmall business needs, this is
what um social uh skills need,like this is what people need.
(12:28):
You understand what I'm saying?
We need to get off our damncouches, we need to be out of
our houses, we need to havesocial interaction, we need to
have fellow companions andreactions, we need to have that
experience.
And I just felt like we werehaving that over the weekend,
and and I really just wanted tohighlight that.
And it was so busy, and you justfelt like this just seems so 20
(12:52):
years ago, it just felt right.
And I know if um I was in a in amall every weekend, I wouldn't
get the same feeling that I justhad over this past week, and I
understand that, but it wastremendous, and I really
appreciated it.
So I hope that kind of set thescene, and now I can kind of
pave the road and and and giveyou the story that needs to be
told.
So last week I mentioned Iborrowed a vehicle, I borrowed a
(13:15):
box truck from my cousin, and uhwe hit the road.
The first leg of the journey iscomplete.
We made it there safe and sound,and uh um that in itself was an
accomplishment.
I'm just gonna put that outthere.
And all things were possiblebecause number one, my cousin
allowed me to use his box truck.
Number two, another cousin ofmine, Hannah's allowing us to
(13:35):
stay at her house.
That's saving us money as well.
So, all good things in thesedifficult times that we find
ourselves in.
I booked our location to bethere for two weeks to not have
to move, and when I got there, Inoticed it wasn't gonna work.
The way that they had me set up,I was blocking a door for a
loading dock.
(13:56):
I was um blocking otherdisplays, I was in a room where
I wasn't really going to beseen, and I needed to kind of
stand my ground on this one.
And we talked to the promoter,and uh, they weren't really
understanding it.
So I just opened my tent up andhave them had them come back and
say, This is the problem wehave.
And they said, You're right,this isn't gonna work.
Let me find you a new room, anduh and they did, it was right
(14:17):
next door, and at first I wasnervous um because I'm kind of
out in the middle becausethere's a big 18-foot like um
checkout area right behind mytent that sits off the wall by a
few feet with a bunch ofcabinets, so it pushed me out of
line for everybody else, andthey had to reconfigure
basically the entire room I wasin to accommodate us to make it
(14:41):
work.
But I will say everybodybasically got an upgrade out of
it, so I think that was a goodthing.
So um I get this spot, andinitially I was kind of nervous
about it.
As you're going down the hall,it seems to be like it could be
kind of difficult to see me, butwe get excited and we um just
start to find a positive spinand we just start building
everything.
And as we do, we realize wow,this checkout counter behind us
(15:03):
is pretty incredible for a fewthings.
Number one, I put my tent rightup to it, and then I I left an
opening in the grid wall wherewe could actually use their
counter space as our cash outcheckout window, and then um
behind that there's all thesecabinets, and there's our like
18-foot checkout area.
We put totes at each end, andlittle Paisley could run back
(15:25):
and forth and entertain herself.
It was like she had her own packand play, um, play pen play area
with cabinets and toys and allthese things, and it really gave
us even more room in ourstorefront to showcase our
products to allow customers toshop, and it gave us the feeling
of owning our own store.
And we had all this countertops,and we're folding stuff and and
(15:48):
and organizing things,restocking things, selling
things, bagging things, sendingthings, enjoying all things, and
everything about that felttremendous.
There was this overwhelmingsense of accomplishment, this
overwhelming sense of wow, wecould do this.
I think it's so important inlife and in business to always
be looking ahead, to always havegoals, to always have hopes,
(16:11):
dreams, and aspirations forwhatever you want, whether it's
like I said, your home life,your personal life, your work
life, or your business life,your entrepreneurial life.
What's next?
What can I do?
What can I shoot for?
What can I strive for?
I never really envisioned ushaving a storefront, but the
experience I had over theweekend really made me long for
(16:32):
that ability.
And I can't say that having astorefront, you know, 24-7, 365
would be the right answer forus.
But holiday seasons, uh, certaintimes of the year where we could
actually have an open storefrontfor people, I think would be
pretty tremendous.
And you need to be in an areathat's an attraction that's
(16:52):
bringing people.
But this has all really got myuh my gears turning.
It's got my creative juicesflowing, it's got me thinking,
it's got me optimistic, it's gotme trying to find other avenues
and consider new platforms.
And that's all you can hope forwhen you own your own business
and you're trying to make it andyou're trying to make ends meet,
(17:13):
and you find yourself in therut, you find yourself in the
mud, in the struggle.
You need those things to pullyou through to motivate you.
And this weekend did that for uson so many levels.
Just the feeling of having ourown storefront was tremendous.
And then everything started tocheck out.
We had literally, when we wentinto the room to start setting
(17:33):
up, there was a lady in therealready set up and wearing a Loo
Proud American Desert Rosesweatshirt, like she's already
supporting our brand rightthere, selling her merchandise,
wearing our apparel.
The fella next to us does thesecustom frames.
He was such a great neighbor.
He actually gave um Paisley aChristmas present on his way out
(17:53):
the door.
And in the main entrance isthese big um like pillars and
all glass windows, and it's agreat curb appeal.
And we were like, when we firstgot there, we're like, man,
that'd be great to have.
But the counter spot actuallyworks great for us.
And I said to Allie, I reallyhope whoever goes over there
doesn't have some big, you know,uh tent or something that blocks
(18:15):
the view so you can still seeus.
Well, the next morning when Iarrived, to my surprise, the
people that were in there, theywere selling wooden American
flags, and they were sellingred, white, and blue crosses and
all patriotic product and woodgoods.
They were a perfect fit.
They didn't block our view, theybrightened our view, they
(18:36):
welcomed you.
Uh, Barnes Woodworking, greatpeople.
They're from northern Maine, anduh they have some awesome
products.
And they immediately came overand introduced themselves.
I said, We're so excited to haveyou in here.
And we just started talkingabout our connections and
partnerships.
They had us hang some of ourt-shirts on pillars uh in the
windows.
(18:56):
So we're closed all week.
I'm here right now recordingthis podcast.
And if you're shopping at theBangor Mall, you can see our
goods hanging in a storefront atthe Bangor Mall.
All that just builds credibilityand it builds faith and
confidence in me.
So I'm so thankful for thisexperience.
Thankful for our neighbors, themembracing us.
(19:16):
And I just want to say that wehad a tremendous weekend.
We're not setting uh worldbeater records, it's not like
we're going there and we'rebeating uh, you know, like fair
numbers, but it was a greatweekend for us.
Last year, when we did thisevent, and our two days, our
Saturday and Sunday, we didbetter than that on either one
(19:38):
of our individual days thisweekend.
Um, we have uh more than doubledour event there last year with a
new location and a new approach.
So completely blessed by that.
And it was just a tremendousexperience to um have that
feeling and and the babiesrunning around and like it just
(20:00):
that holiday, the Christmashustle and bustle, the energy.
I'm playing Christmas music.
People are coming in and havingconversation and buying from us,
and things are going great, andwe're we're beating and
achieving and overachieving ourgoals and numbers, and it just
starts to feel like that boostof confidence and energy and
motivation that we needed, andI'm truly blessed and grateful
(20:21):
and thankful for it.
When I was rolling in uh to setup, there was some kids in our
room that were setting up, andthey ended up moving locations,
but there was um these uh highschool and college kids, and
they saw my tent go up, and Iseen them looking at my tent,
and they were shaking their headand saying something.
And um I just knew that I couldhad the reaction that they were
(20:44):
saying, Hey, um I know this is athis guy's gonna be a Charlie
Kirk guy.
And um I said to Allie, I waslike, I don't know if this is
negative or positive, but Icould tell by the interaction
that they're making thatassumption.
And as luck would have it, thefirst uh clothes rack that I
rolled in, there's a big rollingrack full of clothes on the
(21:05):
front of it was our Freedomt-shirt.
And as soon as I walked in therein the middle of their setup, in
the middle of a conversation,they all just started shaking
their head, yes.
And um, I was like, this couldbe good or bad, but they that my
assumption and their and theirassumptions were correct.
And while we were setting up,this young lady walked over to
my wife and said, I love yourstuff.
And she left and came back, andthen we had conversations with
(21:29):
these young kids over theweekend, and they started a
turning point USA chapter herein Maine.
These kids started TP USAPenobscot, and I gave them a
follow on social media.
They're great kids.
They came in and bought somestuff and just shared great
conversations, and um it was soinspiring to meet young, young
(21:53):
people, young folks that arethey're the answer to the chaos,
they're the answer to um thisworld, this society.
They're the cure for the USA,they're the cure for us because
this is the reason why CharlieKirk focused on college campuses
and and um wanted to reallychange the tide in this country
(22:13):
and and provide leadership anddirection for kids because
they're the ones that are goingto change this country.
And um, it was so heartwarmingand refreshing to have those
conversations and to meet thesefolks.
I actually met two people thatrun turning point chapters in my
state, and I was able to givesome follows and have some great
conversations, and it gave mesome hope, much like when I was
(22:37):
at the Scott Hegan Fair and umand I met Isaiah, and I
mentioned to you guys how Ireally feel like that gave me
hope for the next generation,that there are there are youth
out there that still live withpassion and compassion and do
things the right way, the way wewere brought up.
So meeting Isaiah and then beingthere and meeting these kids
(22:58):
from um turning point chaptersin my own state, it was
heartwarming.
And uh, I just felt welcomed andI felt appreciated, and I wanted
them to feel the same.
But this entire weekend was agreat experience for us.
It was um truly uplifting andfulfilling.
And we had a great weekend, itwas a great success.
(23:20):
Um, we achieved some some greatsales for ourselves, and um, we
feel like this could be theturning point, shall I say, the
tipping point to start to put uson that right path to get us out
of um, you know, the uh thechaos we've created.
And we've talked about that overthe past few weeks.
(23:40):
That I feel like there is alight and we will find a way,
and I'm committed to findingthat way.
And this weekend was a shot ofuh hope and uh placed us in in a
new direction, so much so thatI've been eagerly looking for
other events to try to get into.
Again, it's gonna be more of achallenge, so I don't really
have the vehicles for it movingforward, but um I'm seeking
(24:03):
different avenues andopportunities.
One thing that that like peopleneed to understand is for me,
one of the worst months you canhave in this business is January
and February because people willgear up and start to spend money
for Christmas and um you knowthe holidays and such.
But once Christmas is over,people start to think about
things.
(24:24):
Number one, I gotta start payingoff the credit cards that I use
over the holidays.
Number two, I might need oil, Imight need propane, I need fuel,
um, I need to take care of myfamily and all those things.
Maybe I also got new clothes forChristmas and such.
So buying apparel from peoplelike me goes on the back burner.
And with the uh the debt and theoverhead that I've created um
(24:45):
for the business and for myself,I need to prepare myself for
those dark months.
Usually I come out of fairseason with enough cash flow to
handle those months.
This year I don't have that, soI'm pushing hard towards that.
But it was an encouragingweekend for that.
I had some ideas, it'sphilosophies, and I started
reaching out to other places togo.
And unfortunately, those haven'tcome through yet.
(25:06):
A lot of those places arealready booked up, and we have
to be um selective too, becausea traditional just um
run-of-the-mill Christmas craftfair, we probably ain't gonna
sell much there.
There needs to be the rightattraction, the right um
demographic.
So we're looking for those whoare trying to figure those
things out.
In the meantime, um, I had tocome home and buy more product,
(25:28):
restock more product to getready for next weekend.
Our Freedom t-shirts.
I brought a bunch of Freedomt-shirts, and um, by the time I
left on Sunday, I have onesmall, and then it jumps to a to
a 2x and then a 4x and a 5x.
That's all that's left.
So I've got a busy week ahead ofme getting um product stocked up
(25:49):
and ready to rock and roll, buttremendously encouraging
weekend, and um I need to becreative and I need to uh stay
on it and to get things done.
So look forward more excitingthings from us in the future.
But hopefully, if you're in thearea, uh you want to come out
and see the way things used tobe, if you want to experience
(26:10):
the holidays, the Christmasshopping craziness that used to
happen.
If you want to go back tostanding in a mall and seeing
people just running aroundendlessly, happy, having a good
time, spending money, then findus, meet us, greet us, come see
us at the Bangor Mall thisweekend.
I appreciate you, and I hope tosee you.
(26:32):
Gotcha! LauProud American is alifestyle brand dedicated and
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(26:56):
and support American, head onover to
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Together, we can bring backAmerican manufacturing.
Alright, alright, alright.
Appreciate y'all giving me theopportunity to uh celebrate and
appreciate and uh share thesuccess of our last weekend, and
(27:20):
hopefully it inspired y'all toget into the Christmas season.
You know what I'm saying?
I hope that um that was anencouraging story.
Literally, I don't want to keeppounding on it, but it it just
felt different.
It felt familiar and different.
It felt different from the shitthat we've been going through,
but familiar from the things andstuff that we went through that
(27:40):
we grew up with.
And for just a moment in time,it felt like people weren't
stressed about the economy,people weren't stressed about
social distancing, peopleweren't stressed about um our
differences.
It was just sharingconversation, having a good
time, and uh getting out in thecommunity and supporting each
other and small businesses.
So it was encouraging.
(28:02):
But this whole episode can't beum all warm and fuzzy.
This whole episode can't be justum, you know, just ribbons and
ice cream and fart and unicornsand glitters and romantic uh
Christmas scenes.
That was a ridiculous way ofsaying I'm gonna start talking
(28:23):
about something a littledifficult, something a little
bit depressing.
And um I mentioned it in thebeginning of the show saying
that I wanted to have an umuncomfortable but necessary
conversation about mentalhealth.
And um we often go through lifeand we just put the mental
health aspect of life behind us,and we don't think about the
(28:47):
people in our lives and um whatthey're going through, what
they're struggling with untilsomething happens, right?
And we've had many of episodeson here where you know something
happens.
Like I've had conversations overthe past five years over um, you
know, an acquaintance, beautifulyoung girl with her whole life
ahead of her committing suicide,of an athletic director and
(29:10):
school teacher committingsuicide, and these things that
come out of nowhere that youwouldn't expect.
And over the past few months, mywife has been brave enough and
bold enough to share the storyof her mother committing
suicide.
So we have these conversationsabout mental health, but we
don't always have them until atragedy kicks in.
And um, over the past few weeks,my family has um dealt with uh
(29:34):
some struggles and and haddifficult conversations and
those things, those things arelife, but it also brought to the
forefront the importance oflistening and the importance of
having conversations becauseeven when you communicate with
people on a regular basis, maybeeven a daily basis, maybe even a
constant basis, you might notrealize that they're struggling.
(30:00):
Might not know that they'rehaving a hard time because they
might appear to be the rock,they might appear to be the
foundation.
You understand what I'm saying?
They are the rock solid onesthat you just don't worry about.
But maybe you didn't ask, andmaybe you weren't listening uh
closely enough.
So if there's people in yourlife that maybe you see and talk
(30:21):
to on the daily or constantly,and you still don't really know
what they're feeling and howthey're handling life, what
about the folks that you don'ttalk to so often?
Start to work yourself back fromthe center to the outside.
Let's go from the core of theonion and we're gonna work our
way all the way back to the peeland ask yourself the same
question.
If you live with somebody andand and you you love somebody
(30:43):
and you share conversations, youdon't always know what they're
thinking.
Think about how difficult it isto have a relationship, right?
As men, we always say, Man,women, I don't know what they're
thinking.
And as women, you might say,Men, I doubt they're even
thinking, right?
Think about that for a minute.
So when you have that scenario,ask yourself, how confident are
(31:03):
you that you know your spouse isokay?
Now, remove yourself from thecenter.
Go back a few layers on theonion.
Maybe there's a parent or asibling that you um don't talk
to every day, but you talk to,you know, once a week or once
every other week or something.
How confident are you in knowinghow they feel?
How confident are you in knowingthat they are okay, that they
(31:26):
don't need something from you?
Now, at that point, let's workour way out of the onion some
more.
Let's go back a few layers ofthe onion and ask yourself maybe
there's somebody you only seeonce a month.
Are you confident in how they'refeeling?
Are you confident when they gohome they're okay?
Now think about the friends andfamily that you only see on the
holidays.
(31:47):
Think about the friends andfamily, those close best friends
that you grew up with that youhaven't talked to in years.
Do you know how they're feeling?
Do you know they're okay?
Do you know they're notstruggling?
Or is there any remote sense ofdoubt or question that maybe
they're going through something?
Maybe they're having a difficulttime dealing with something.
(32:09):
All these questions we don'thave answers for.
And I'm confident if you're likeme, the further you get away
from the center of the onion,the more vague it becomes, the
less convicted you are in yourquestions.
And I say these things becauseoftentimes, just like the
stories I've shared about peoplethat have passed that have taken
(32:31):
their life, you assume they'regood.
You assume they're okay, but wedon't know they're okay until we
hear from another close friend.
Hey, did you hear so-and-so tooktheir life?
Now, I'm saying all thesethings, and I'm gonna make some
connections, and I'm gonna leadinto things, and this all
becomes a melting pot here, butI'm gonna use some recency bias
(32:53):
here and some things that haveprovoked this conversation.
Y'all already know, if you'vebeen listening, I'm a major
sports fan, and uh, I'm adiehard Cowboys fan and Yankees
fan.
And this past week for me was adifficult time as a fan because
I woke up one morning and I wason my phone checking um, you
know, like all my my sportsconnections and such, and they
(33:15):
were all saying, I'm prayingthis isn't true.
All these beat reporters for theCowboys and certain players and
people that I follow, they weresaying, I hope this is made up,
and if this is made up, this isdisgusting.
I pray this isn't true.
And I knew something wasobviously bad, and I started
fishing around, and I found outthat there's a young Dallas
Cowboys defensive player,Marshawn Nealan.
(33:37):
He's 24 years old, and uhMarshawn was drafted, I believe,
out of Western Michigan um lastyear.
Not this past draft, but theyear before.
So this is his sophomore year asa cowboy.
He was drafted um two seasonsago, and in his first season, he
came on strong.
He was looking great, he had aninjury, it cost him his whole
(33:58):
season, and he rehabbed like ananimal, and he came back this
year, and he's looked good.
He's had ups and downs, but atthe start of the year, he
started off with his first evercareer sack, and um two weekends
ago, the last game the Cowboysplayed because last weekend they
had a bye.
He actually recovered a fumblefor a touchdown, his first ever
(34:19):
fumble recovery and first evertouchdown.
24-year-old young man with hisentire life ahead of him, a
locker room favorite.
By everything that I've read,he's an extremely hard worker,
and uh, he's a quiet kid with animpressive, bold, beautiful
smile, and um just chiseled likea Greek god, right?
(34:43):
He's a good-looking kid, he'she's just shredded in great
shape with a dynamic smile andjust a super hardworking kid.
He doesn't believe in going outand partying, he doesn't believe
in any of the nonsense.
He's a hardworking kid.
And um his his teammates histeammates loved him.
Now, I can only see anindividual play on Sunday,
(35:04):
right?
And you can and I I'm a junkie,so I'll watch interviews and all
these things.
I don't know enough about theman, but everything that I know
of him says that he's a greatindividual, great hard-working
young man.
And me as a fan, I'm excited tosee where his future goes.
I did not know that he has umbeen dealing with some mental
demons.
And his mother died a littlewhile ago.
(35:27):
I'm not sure of the time frame,but I found out that he's been
struggling with that.
Anybody that's lost a parent,much like myself or my wife has
recently, you struggle withlosing a parent and being 24 on
the cusp of you know his wholelife being ahead of him, right?
And when I say on the cusp of, Ishould say on the cusp of uh his
(35:48):
NFL career really taking off.
He just scored his firsttouchdown, and he's got his
first deal, like he's making it,he's achieving his dream that so
many people don't get toachieve.
Like, think of the likelihood ofsomeone wanting to play in the
NFL and actually getting to dothat, being drafted in the
second round, having your wholecareer and life ahead of you,
losing his mother at a youngage.
(36:09):
And um, I listened to someCowboys reporters say we had
interviews with him and we askedhim about his mother, and he
broke down and started crying.
And um, you realize thatsomeone's really struggling, but
you don't know any of this,right?
And I'm saying all this to kindof you know create an image to
paint a picture for y'all.
If you're not sports fans, freeto understand this young man
(36:30):
with a whole life ahead of him,and apparently he's been
battling these mental demons,and it came to a head one night
last week, and he actually wasin an argument um with his
family, and he told hisgirlfriend that um I'm just
gonna end all of it.
And he left in a fit of rage,and she had to call the police
(36:53):
and do a wellness check and say,This is him, this is what he's
driving, uh, he's carrying aweapon, like he's a threat to
himself, you know, and I needyou to um try to stop him to
intervene.
And uh think about having tomake that phone call first off,
and then number two, um thedifficult thing here is as she's
(37:16):
making this phone call and she'stalking to I believe it was
Dallas Fort Worth PoliceDepartment, they were already in
pursuit with his vehicle becausethey caught him speeding through
town, so they ended up in apursuit of his vehicle, and um
he ends up outrunning the copsfor for you know a certain
period of time.
They come out around this cornerand they find his vehicle off in
(37:38):
the woods.
And I believe they had to bringin air support to try to find
him.
They get out looking for him,he's not in the vehicle.
They later find him in thewoods, deceased from a
self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Twenty-four years old, hisentire life ahead of him, living
and fulfilling his dreams.
(38:00):
He shoots himself, he killshimself, he removes himself from
this world, he removes himselffrom his dreams, he removes
himself from this tremendouslife that he's built for
himself.
Can you imagine that?
We think about the difficultythat we go through, that we grow
through in life.
(38:20):
We have this podcast, Share theStruggle, where we come on here
and share our struggles, and Italk to you about financial
struggles, I talk to you aboutlosing family members, I talk to
you about being pushed out,thrown out, and kicked out.
By all accounts, here's thisyoung man living the life of his
dreams, and he ends it all.
(38:42):
I would have to say, the peoplein his circle, the people in the
center of that onion, not all ofthem knew his struggles.
The Dallas Cowboys as a team,and I can selfishly proclaim
this, they're one of the bestorganizations when it comes to
mental health because DakPrescott, say what you want
about the person as a player,but as a man, as one of the
(39:05):
greatest leaders in sports, andhis brother committed suicide.
Dak does so much for mentalhealth, he actually won the man
of the year award for his workin mental health.
Solomon Thomas, anotherteammate, is the same way.
And these two have done so muchfor mental health, they have
programs set up for the teamright there at the facilities.
(39:29):
So for them to miss this, forthem to not know this, and then
for them to um literally findout that their brother was
struggling this way with all thelifelines that are there, with
all that is there uh to supportthem, to help them, and still
have this happen, it'sunbelievable, right?
(39:52):
It's heartbreaking.
Solomon and Dak have livedthrough family members
committing suicide.
So I'm sure as having a brotherin the locker room having this
happen, it has to really tearthem apart and and and bring
back so much hurt, and thenstart it all over again.
And I want to share this quote,this message that Solomon Thomas
(40:16):
put out, because I think thatthis is um eye-opening and
really drives home the messageI'm trying to I'm trying to make
here today.
Brother Marshawn, I love you.
I wish you knew it was going tobe okay.
I wish you knew the painwouldn't last and how loved you
are.
I wish you knew how bad wewanted you to stay.
(40:37):
My heart breaks for you and yourloved ones.
We will lift your spirit upevery day.
I wish you knew it was gonna beokay.
I wish you knew this painwouldn't last.
I wish you knew how much weloved you.
I wish you knew that we wantedyou to stay.
Go back to your onion, go backto your center.
When you get down to the centerand we start to work our way
(40:59):
out, do the people that areclose to you, do they know that
you love them?
Do they know that you want themto stay?
Do they know if they're hurting,if there's pain, that you will
help them make sure that it allgoes away?
As you start to remove yourselffrom the center and you start to
go back in those layers of theonion, people you start to see,
you know, once a week or talk toonce a week or once every other
(41:21):
week, do they know it's gonna beokay?
Do they know that you love them?
Do they know that you want themto stay?
When you get to the outer shellof that onion, when you get to
the outer peel, the flaky,crappy stuff, you gotta take off
the onion before you start tocry and cut and and and have
tears running down your face.
That outside, useless layer ofthe onion.
Do those people living on thefringe of the onion know that
(41:44):
you love them, that you wantthem to stay?
Do they know the pain will goaway?
Do they know that you want themhere?
I think it's impossible for allof us to listen and to talk and
to say, everybody that revolvesaround my onion that revolves
around me knows I love them andI want them here to stay.
(42:09):
That's a tough thing aboutmental health, folks.
We never really know.
So, what do we do?
What can we do?
If I think about the Cowboysteam, they have all these
meetings, all theseconversations about hey man, I'm
here for you.
All these support groups andoptions and hotlines, and yet
this still happened.
(42:29):
Yet these conversations maybenever took place, or maybe they
did take place and they justweren't effective.
We don't know.
I do know there's a thing thatcomes down to um just surefire,
I guess, masculinity when itcomes to men, when it comes to
um men in sports, primarily, Iguess you would say where it's
(42:52):
hard to say I'm not okay.
And I'm sure that you women wereraised the same way, many of
you, but I can just say that theway I am and the man that I am
and and growing up, it was notalways okay to say I'm not okay.
You looked weak to say, I'm notokay.
(43:14):
I'm the person that playedsports and would you know break
fingers and ankles and this andthat and tape them up and say,
I'm gonna be okay.
My dad's adage was always, I'mokay, I'm always gonna be okay.
Everything is gonna be okay.
So you are breaking history, youare breaking the oak, you are
(43:36):
changing the hands of time toput your hand up and say, I'm
not okay.
We're raised in the way ofsaying everything is gonna be
okay, refusing to acknowledgethat we are not okay, we get
looked down upon when we saywe're not okay.
People get criticized for havingthose mental breakdowns.
(43:56):
People get called out, made funof, um, over sharing that
they're not okay.
So, how do we resolve this?
How do we answer this?
I wish I had all the answers forthis because if I did, then
maybe we wouldn't have theproblems that we're having, but
that's it's not the case, right?
There's no perfect answer.
(44:17):
I think that we just we can'tfix all of society, we can't
change the world that's aroundus, but we can make a difference
on the people that are around usby letting them know that you're
always willing to have aconversation.
I guess it comes down to uscreating an environment that
(44:38):
says, Hey man, I'm always okayto talk to.
Hey man, I'm never gonna judgeyou when you're having a
difficult time.
I'm never gonna turn my shoulderon you, I'm never gonna look
different towards you.
It's okay to not be okay.
I would much rather have thebreakdown and you not be okay
than to have the other side ofthat and then you be gone and
(45:02):
not be around, and then I too amnot okay, that us together are
not okay because we will neverbe together again.
Those decisions are final, myfriend.
I'm having this conversationbecause I want anybody listening
today to know I love you, and Iwant you to be here.
(45:22):
Whatever it is that you're goingthrough that you're growing
through, this too shall pass.
You will get through it, we willget through it.
We have built a positive vibeand a positive tribe.
And even if you wanted to turn amicrophone on and talk to
everybody listening and say, heyman, I'm going through something
and I need some help, and youwanted to be anonymous or
whatever you wanted to do, Iwould give that to you.
(45:44):
If you needed to talk to me atany time, at any hour, I would
give that to you.
Because I care about you.
And I think it's important forus to have that open,
transparent line ofcommunication that says, Hey,
people, I care about you, andI'm always willing to listen to
you, and I'm always willing tobe here for you.
We always have those, you know,hey, how you doing?
(46:08):
How you been?
How's your mom and them?
Greetings when we meet people.
And generally you want to knowthat people are that that people
are okay, but is anybody everreally going to be like, you
know what, dude?
Life sucks and I'm struggling.
And if they say that, are yougonna slow down and you're like,
whoa, man, let's you okay?
Or are you gonna be like, dude,I was just asking, like, figure
(46:29):
your speech if you're y'allgood?
You know what I mean?
Like, how you doing?
Because I don't think thatinteraction that, hey, how you
doing?
How you been?
Everything okay?
Things are okay?
I don't think that really getsthe response that we need when
someone is struggling.
And I'm a habitual offender ofasking people that I care about,
you okay?
Is everything good?
(46:51):
And sometimes I think that maybeI do that so much that it just
annoys them and they start tosay, dude, would you expect me
to not be okay?
But I care about you and I worryabout you, so I want you to be
okay.
So I hope that I'm not a youknow an over-asker, I guess you
should say, right?
I hope not the habitual offenderof uh wanting you to know that
(47:12):
I'm here for you, but but it'sthe truth, man.
I think that life is too short.
There's no guarantee on you andme, and I would hate to make my
exit without the people that Ilove most knowing that I love
them.
And I would hate to know thatthe people I love most took an
early exit because they didn'tthink I was here for them.
So we're having this awkwardconversation, this um difficult
(47:36):
conversation, because I hopesomething comes of this
conversation.
I hope this provokes you to umopen yourself up to the people
you care about, start workingfrom the layers of your onion
and checking in on some folksand letting them know, man, I
love you.
I got you.
It's been a long time, man.
I know life ain't easy.
I hope you all are okay.
If you need me, I'm here, man.
(47:56):
Those conversations need tohappen.
We need to have thoseconversations, and I implore
you, I empower you, and I hopefor you to have those
conversations.
Last week, outside of thisMarshawn Nealan story, there was
a situation in my life where Iwas extremely worried about
somebody, and um, I was drivingaround at night in the pouring
(48:17):
rain, heartbroken and concernedfor somebody.
And um that's not a goodfeeling, and um that's extremely
difficult.
And uh I'm not gonna sayanything about the person or the
situation because I don't wantto um violate any trust, and I
(48:40):
don't want to make this aboutanybody or anything other than
trying to give you something torelate to, to hopefully provoke
you to check in on your people,to listen to your people.
Because during those moments offear, driving around endlessly
looking where I would assumethis person might be, where this
(49:00):
friend could be, thinking, was Inot a good enough friend?
Thinking that I not do enough,thinking that this person that I
cared about so much not know howmuch I care about them?
The conversation we had, thethings that were shared, did
(49:21):
they not understand my level ofcommitment in love?
Thinking that if this could meaneither the end of a friendship,
or even worse, someone actuallydoing something to themselves,
(49:45):
and then whether I could evenlive with myself.
That feeling, that fear isparalyzing.
When you start to roleplay yourconversations, when you start to
play them back in your mind, youstart to walk yourself back and
you think, Did I not listen?
(50:06):
Did you think, were there signsthat I did not interject my
feelings?
You start thinking, Did Iprovoke these feelings?
You start thinking, did myactions, did my way of talking,
did my way of communicating, wasthat misinterpreted?
Did I do things to them thatmade them feel inadequate?
(50:29):
Did I do things and say thingsto them that made them not feel
loved?
Did I do things and say thingsto them where they didn't think
I was ever going to be there forthem?
You start to think about that.
And you start to ask yourself,what could I have done and what
did I do?
And you start to think about thefact that you don't know all the
things that your friends andfamily and loved ones are going
(50:52):
through.
Even if they shared all thesethings with you, you don't
really truly know everything.
And the further you get from thecenter of your onion, the less
you know.
So I share this with you to hopethat you can do better to be
better, to do a better job to bea better friend, a better
(51:16):
brother, sister, mother, son,father, daughter, cousin,
husband, wife, co-worker.
Do better to be better.
That can be for all of us.
I will say that thankfully, myquest in the night driving
(51:37):
around to find somebody to makesure they were okay, that all
ended okay.
That all ended well.
It was scary for me to wake up afew days later and hear the
story of Marshawn Nealand andrealize, wow.
I didn't know what that personwas truly going through.
(51:58):
This could have been theoutcome.
And then I've spent the pastweek thinking about all the
people in my life that havetaken themselves from my life
and I didn't know what they werefeeling and what they were
thinking.
So I was gonna take thisopportunity to say to any of you
listening that I don't know whatyou're thinking and how you're
(52:18):
feeling, but if you needsomebody to know what you're
thinking and how you're feeling,if you need somebody to bounce
ideas off, to find strength in,to confide in, then I'm here for
you.
And I have this conversation toimplore everybody to do better,
to be better, do a better job ofbeing the better version of you.
(52:38):
I think this all starts withlistening and looking for clues
and then asking yourself, am Icommunicating correctly?
And do these people that I careabout truly know that I am here
for them and I never want tolose them.
I pray to God this conversationmade some kind of difference.
(52:59):
I know having theseconversations over the past week
has made a difference in mylife, and I hope I don't lose
sight of that difference.
I truly appreciate and thank andlove each and every one of you.
Please know it's okay to not beokay.
It's not okay to not tellsomebody that you're not okay.
(53:21):
Do better and be better.
I love each and every one ofyou.
Thank you for supporting myAmerican dream.
Now go wash.
You filthy hits.
You feel the animal.
I gotta change it to myChristmas movie.
That was uh Home Alone.
Yeah.
Christmas time.
You know what I mean?
They get all the hits.
Love ya.
That's it, and that's all,Biggie Smalls.
(53:57):
If you're allowed ProudAmerican, and you find yourself
or find me on YouTube, Facebook,allowed Proud American Facebook,
I'm just if you're famous, ifyou want to find me on
Instagram, tickety talk on thetickety talk.
(54:18):
You can find me on all of thoseunderscore underscore things,
the voice of the structure ofthe background.
(54:41):
You are enjoying what you'rehearing.
(55:13):
Now go wash your fucking hands,you filthy savage.
On this week's episode of Share the Struggle
Podcast, we over here at LoudProud American catch that
holiday buzz.
We get a little taste of what itwould be like to have our own
storefront.
And we wrap up the show with anunfortunate but necessary
conversation on mental health.
(00:23):
Let me tell you something.
Everybody struggles.
The difference is some peoplechoose to go through it and some
choose to grow through it.
The choice is completely yours.
Which one you choose will have avery profound effect on the way
you live your life.
(01:33):
What it how did it do?
Am I so excited to be back withyou?
Oh, it is true.
It is damn true.
Episode 279, and I hope y'all befeeling oh so fine.
Because you know I am.
I'm feeling oh so fine becauseit is you and me together again.
(01:56):
Oh, it's true, baby.
279 consecutive weeks thisweekly podcast brought to you by
the fine folks over to LoudProud American, where we do all
things American, bringing backAmerican manufacturing, focusing
on American jobs, andemphasizing that American
spirit.
This here podcast is properly,precisely, beautifully,
(02:19):
perfectly named Share theStruggle.
Because the truth is, boys andgirls, chipmunks and squirrels,
everybody struggles.
We know it to be true.
But we also know the truth iswhen you will share your story,
when you have the strength toshare your story, then there is
strength that comes from thatstory.
And together we can all growfrom that story.
(02:42):
We gather here week to week toshare whatever it is that we are
going through, growing throughthe highs, the lows, the
difficulties, every which way wego.
Mm-mm.
279 weeks, man.
I I uh every time I push recordon the podcast and I just
mention that little fun fact,and I think about the fact that
(03:03):
we've been doing this week afterweek, and as the numbers keep
going up and we cross two years,three years, four years, five
years, it's uh it'sheartwarming, it's impressive,
it's uh I don't even know how tosummarize it, y'all.
I just want to say thank you.
I want to say thank you to eachand every one of you.
If you're a day one, a loyalone, you've been here since the
(03:26):
beginning, get your ones up.
I appreciate you.
I acknowledge you.
You know that I love you.
If you are a day one, as in thisone, just happens to be your
first one, then welcome.
We here at uh Share the TrugglePodcast are building this
positive tribe, this positivevibe, and we welcome you to join
(03:49):
us.
It's crazy to think through allthe years, and I think maybe I'm
starting to feel a littlenostalgic as we get into the
holiday season and we startthinking about um, you know,
being grateful and counting ourblessings, and I'm certainly
going to count each and everyone of you as blessings as we
gather around the LibertyThanksgiving table this year.
So maybe that's why, you know,as you start to um get in that
(04:12):
that mode of really justappreciating things, which I
encourage you to do that at alltimes of the year.
Don't wait for Hallmarkprescribed opportunity.
But I just came from a Christmasfair, so maybe that's what it
is.
I'm starting to get the spiritin the air, but I just wanted to
take the time to say thank you.
If this is your first time, ifyou've been here um all the
(04:32):
time, I appreciate you, and itmeans a lot to me that you
continue to be here.
And uh it's funny you run intosome people that were listening
to the show solid for like ayear or so, then we lose them,
and then they come back, andit's um, you know, we all go
through seasons of life, so alot of listeners come and go,
and um, I'm here with open armswhenever you decide to uh show.
(04:55):
So I appreciate you.
Just wanted y'all to know that.
In the little preview of today'sshow, I mentioned that us here
at Loud Proud America, and wehave caught the holiday bug.
The old Christmas spirit is inthe air around here, and um, I
think maybe that it goes with alot of things.
(05:15):
Number one, the the temperaturein the air is dropping, right?
So when that starts to happen,y'all know what's coming.
It's getting cold out there.
We've seen, I shall say, a fewsnowflakes the other day.
So just putting that out intothe atmosphere as well.
So we're hunkering down, we'regearing up for that, and we just
(05:36):
had another road show, anotherevent.
We went to Bangor, to the BangorMall, and this is a unique event
for us.
We did this last year, but weonly did one weekend last year,
and this year we're signed upfor both weekends.
So it's a Saturday, Sunday show,two weeks in a row, and we were
able to get ourselves into anactual storefront, which to kind
(06:00):
of paint the picture, somebodyunderstands what this is like.
There's a company over there, afurniture store.
This lady Kathy owns a furniturestore, and she does an amazing
job uh putting everythingtogether.
So she books hundreds ofvendors, and vendors take over
all the walkways all through themall.
They take over all the abandonedstorefronts.
Some of the small stores, maybeone vendor, will have this whole
(06:22):
store.
Some of the larger stores, youcould have 30 different vendors
in there, and um, it's just areally cool thing to see.
It gives an opportunity forcrafters and small business
owners, entrepreneurs all tocome together and uh showcase
their products, but it gives youthe feeling of uh being in the
mall, of actually having astorefront, having a brick and
(06:44):
mortar for those of us thatdon't have one.
Last year, this was a reallycool feeling.
We had a um shitty, let's justget the confession out the way.
I had a shitty location lastyear.
It was dark, it was dingy, wedidn't get a warm reception.
The um some of the otheroccupants of the room, let's
say, didn't really welcome uswith open arms, and there's some
(07:06):
tenants in there that justcaused issues and were smashing
into our tent and just raising aruckus.
So I refuse to go back to thatroom.
And the walkways, the the aislesin the mall are tremendous for
foot traffic, but I almost feellike people aren't allowed to
shop because it's so damn busy,you can't slow down to shop.
(07:27):
And with the being in thehallway or the walkway of the
mall, you have to pack up andleave at the end of the weekend.
If you can get a storefront, youcan book it for two weeks in a
row.
So for us, we're able to show upon a Friday, set up our display,
and then be open Saturday,Sunday, close the doors, go
home.
They lock the doors to thestorefront, and I can return on
(07:47):
Saturday and open back up and beopen Saturday, Sunday, then pack
up and come home.
So that in itself has addedanother layer of believability
when you start to think abouthaving your own store.
So I hope I've done an okay jobof kind of creating the uh the
image of what's going on here,and I wish I could include some
(08:08):
some video to show you how thisactually looks, but um, it's a
really amazing feeling.
And the best way I can describethis to you guys is when you're
there and the hustle and bustlepicks up and things just take
off.
It reminds me of the mall atChristmas time when I was a kid.
Like it reminds me of going outon Black Friday and just
(08:34):
defending yourself and thecrowd.
You know what I mean?
Going out there bargain shoppingand uh just making things
happen.
That's what it reminds me of.
It's been so busy there thatit's hard for me to actually get
video to show everybody likewhat it looks like, what's going
on out there.
Um and but I I went out thereand I ended up having a
(08:55):
conversation.
I was stopped by some of myregulars and favorite customers
and great family, uh theTracy's.
They had stopped me.
Uh they came in to see me, theycome in to see me every time.
Actually, they'll come in bothweekends, and uh they spend a
tremendous amount of money andand really just support us and
love us, and that's part of thereasons why, or some of the most
important reasons why wecontinue to go back to some of
(09:16):
these northern locations.
But I was talking to them in thewalkway and just people
everywhere, and I said, Man,this is what I remember being a
kid.
This is what I remember aboutthe stores when I was a kid.
Over the past few years,especially since COVID, brick
and mortar relationship retailhas really suffered.
It's gone by the wayside.
(09:36):
People can't afford to payemployees.
There's people that just don'twant to work anymore.
Everybody appreciates theconvenience of ordering shit
from their couch, and you losethe social aspect of shopping,
you lose the customerexperience, you lose the buying
experience, you lose thatrelationship retail that we love
(09:57):
about our product and we loveabout what we do.
We meet people, we fosterconnections and relationships.
That's what we like about beingon the road and selling our
product.
We want to know the people thatare wearing our stuff.
It's more exciting for us tohear from somebody hey man, I
love this stuff.
Seeing the look on their facewhen they find us for the first
time or they come back for thehundredth time, that just makes
(10:19):
it all worthwhile.
That makes the sacrifice, thatmakes the journey, that makes
the ups and downs seemworthwhile.
It's also tremendous to have abunch of sales come in on your
website.
I'm gonna be honest.
But getting out there andmeeting people, it just special,
right?
And we have really built thefoundation and the philosophy
that if we go out and reallypound the pavement for so many
(10:41):
years, we can build therelationships that hopefully
continue with us online so wedon't have to be on the road as
much, and I can be more presentfor my family and um attend all
the little important things thatPaisley has to go to, right?
So that's part of the big planat hand.
But those things, thoseexperiences suffered, they've
suffered since COVID.
People don't uh go out and shopanymore.
(11:02):
You go out, you becomeaccustomed to getting shitty
service, waiting in long lineswith piss poor customer service,
and um it's just sad, right?
It's just sad, and you've goneaccustomed to going to your
local mall and seeing that youknow 60-70% of the mall is
vacant.
It's um closed stores with barsin the windows, and um they're
(11:24):
just the the building itself isnot up kept like it used to be.
I remember one of the coolestthings and one of the greatest
accomplishments when you were inas a young child, that rite of
passage when you were allowed tobe left at the mall alone with
your friends.
That was incredible.
Then as you graduated to thepoint of you and your friends
(11:46):
driving to the mall together,whether you're spending time in
the arcades, the food court,you're buying things, you're
raising all kinds of heckeverywhere you go.
That was a rite of passage, thatwas an achievement, that was an
accomplishment.
We spent all damn weekend at themall, right?
That was a big deal.
And I don't think kids give twohoots about the mall anymore.
(12:08):
So standing in the walkways onuh Sunday and being run over by
people, I just felt nostalgic.
I felt like this is the way it'ssupposed to be, this is what um
businesses need, this is whatsmall business needs, this is
what um social uh skills need,like this is what people need.
(12:28):
You understand what I'm saying?
We need to get off our damncouches, we need to be out of
our houses, we need to havesocial interaction, we need to
have fellow companions andreactions, we need to have that
experience.
And I just felt like we werehaving that over the weekend,
and and I really just wanted tohighlight that.
And it was so busy, and you justfelt like this just seems so 20
(12:52):
years ago, it just felt right.
And I know if um I was in a in amall every weekend, I wouldn't
get the same feeling that I justhad over this past week, and I
understand that, but it wastremendous, and I really
appreciated it.
So I hope that kind of set thescene, and now I can kind of
pave the road and and and giveyou the story that needs to be
told.
So last week I mentioned Iborrowed a vehicle, I borrowed a
(13:15):
box truck from my cousin, and uhwe hit the road.
The first leg of the journey iscomplete.
We made it there safe and sound,and uh um that in itself was an
accomplishment.
I'm just gonna put that outthere.
And all things were possiblebecause number one, my cousin
allowed me to use his box truck.
Number two, another cousin ofmine, Hannah's allowing us to
(13:35):
stay at her house.
That's saving us money as well.
So, all good things in thesedifficult times that we find
ourselves in.
I booked our location to bethere for two weeks to not have
to move, and when I got there, Inoticed it wasn't gonna work.
The way that they had me set up,I was blocking a door for a
loading dock.
(13:56):
I was um blocking otherdisplays, I was in a room where
I wasn't really going to beseen, and I needed to kind of
stand my ground on this one.
And we talked to the promoter,and uh, they weren't really
understanding it.
So I just opened my tent up andhave them had them come back and
say, This is the problem wehave.
And they said, You're right,this isn't gonna work.
Let me find you a new room, anduh and they did, it was right
(14:17):
next door, and at first I wasnervous um because I'm kind of
out in the middle becausethere's a big 18-foot like um
checkout area right behind mytent that sits off the wall by a
few feet with a bunch ofcabinets, so it pushed me out of
line for everybody else, andthey had to reconfigure
basically the entire room I wasin to accommodate us to make it
(14:41):
work.
But I will say everybodybasically got an upgrade out of
it, so I think that was a goodthing.
So um I get this spot, andinitially I was kind of nervous
about it.
As you're going down the hall,it seems to be like it could be
kind of difficult to see me, butwe get excited and we um just
start to find a positive spinand we just start building
everything.
And as we do, we realize wow,this checkout counter behind us
(15:03):
is pretty incredible for a fewthings.
Number one, I put my tent rightup to it, and then I I left an
opening in the grid wall wherewe could actually use their
counter space as our cash outcheckout window, and then um
behind that there's all thesecabinets, and there's our like
18-foot checkout area.
We put totes at each end, andlittle Paisley could run back
(15:25):
and forth and entertain herself.
It was like she had her own packand play, um, play pen play area
with cabinets and toys and allthese things, and it really gave
us even more room in ourstorefront to showcase our
products to allow customers toshop, and it gave us the feeling
of owning our own store.
And we had all this countertops,and we're folding stuff and and
(15:48):
and organizing things,restocking things, selling
things, bagging things, sendingthings, enjoying all things, and
everything about that felttremendous.
There was this overwhelmingsense of accomplishment, this
overwhelming sense of wow, wecould do this.
I think it's so important inlife and in business to always
be looking ahead, to always havegoals, to always have hopes,
(16:11):
dreams, and aspirations forwhatever you want, whether it's
like I said, your home life,your personal life, your work
life, or your business life,your entrepreneurial life.
What's next?
What can I do?
What can I shoot for?
What can I strive for?
I never really envisioned ushaving a storefront, but the
experience I had over theweekend really made me long for
(16:32):
that ability.
And I can't say that having astorefront, you know, 24-7, 365
would be the right answer forus.
But holiday seasons, uh, certaintimes of the year where we could
actually have an open storefrontfor people, I think would be
pretty tremendous.
And you need to be in an areathat's an attraction that's
(16:52):
bringing people.
But this has all really got myuh my gears turning.
It's got my creative juicesflowing, it's got me thinking,
it's got me optimistic, it's gotme trying to find other avenues
and consider new platforms.
And that's all you can hope forwhen you own your own business
and you're trying to make it andyou're trying to make ends meet,
(17:13):
and you find yourself in therut, you find yourself in the
mud, in the struggle.
You need those things to pullyou through to motivate you.
And this weekend did that for uson so many levels.
Just the feeling of having ourown storefront was tremendous.
And then everything started tocheck out.
We had literally, when we wentinto the room to start setting
(17:33):
up, there was a lady in therealready set up and wearing a Loo
Proud American Desert Rosesweatshirt, like she's already
supporting our brand rightthere, selling her merchandise,
wearing our apparel.
The fella next to us does thesecustom frames.
He was such a great neighbor.
He actually gave um Paisley aChristmas present on his way out
(17:53):
the door.
And in the main entrance isthese big um like pillars and
all glass windows, and it's agreat curb appeal.
And we were like, when we firstgot there, we're like, man,
that'd be great to have.
But the counter spot actuallyworks great for us.
And I said to Allie, I reallyhope whoever goes over there
doesn't have some big, you know,uh tent or something that blocks
(18:15):
the view so you can still seeus.
Well, the next morning when Iarrived, to my surprise, the
people that were in there, theywere selling wooden American
flags, and they were sellingred, white, and blue crosses and
all patriotic product and woodgoods.
They were a perfect fit.
They didn't block our view, theybrightened our view, they
(18:36):
welcomed you.
Uh, Barnes Woodworking, greatpeople.
They're from northern Maine, anduh they have some awesome
products.
And they immediately came overand introduced themselves.
I said, We're so excited to haveyou in here.
And we just started talkingabout our connections and
partnerships.
They had us hang some of ourt-shirts on pillars uh in the
windows.
(18:56):
So we're closed all week.
I'm here right now recordingthis podcast.
And if you're shopping at theBangor Mall, you can see our
goods hanging in a storefront atthe Bangor Mall.
All that just builds credibilityand it builds faith and
confidence in me.
So I'm so thankful for thisexperience.
Thankful for our neighbors, themembracing us.
(19:16):
And I just want to say that wehad a tremendous weekend.
We're not setting uh worldbeater records, it's not like
we're going there and we'rebeating uh, you know, like fair
numbers, but it was a greatweekend for us.
Last year, when we did thisevent, and our two days, our
Saturday and Sunday, we didbetter than that on either one
(19:38):
of our individual days thisweekend.
Um, we have uh more than doubledour event there last year with a
new location and a new approach.
So completely blessed by that.
And it was just a tremendousexperience to um have that
feeling and and the babiesrunning around and like it just
(20:00):
that holiday, the Christmashustle and bustle, the energy.
I'm playing Christmas music.
People are coming in and havingconversation and buying from us,
and things are going great, andwe're we're beating and
achieving and overachieving ourgoals and numbers, and it just
starts to feel like that boostof confidence and energy and
motivation that we needed, andI'm truly blessed and grateful
(20:21):
and thankful for it.
When I was rolling in uh to setup, there was some kids in our
room that were setting up, andthey ended up moving locations,
but there was um these uh highschool and college kids, and
they saw my tent go up, and Iseen them looking at my tent,
and they were shaking their headand saying something.
And um I just knew that I couldhad the reaction that they were
(20:44):
saying, Hey, um I know this is athis guy's gonna be a Charlie
Kirk guy.
And um I said to Allie, I waslike, I don't know if this is
negative or positive, but Icould tell by the interaction
that they're making thatassumption.
And as luck would have it, thefirst uh clothes rack that I
rolled in, there's a big rollingrack full of clothes on the
(21:05):
front of it was our Freedomt-shirt.
And as soon as I walked in therein the middle of their setup, in
the middle of a conversation,they all just started shaking
their head, yes.
And um, I was like, this couldbe good or bad, but they that my
assumption and their and theirassumptions were correct.
And while we were setting up,this young lady walked over to
my wife and said, I love yourstuff.
And she left and came back, andthen we had conversations with
(21:29):
these young kids over theweekend, and they started a
turning point USA chapter herein Maine.
These kids started TP USAPenobscot, and I gave them a
follow on social media.
They're great kids.
They came in and bought somestuff and just shared great
conversations, and um it was soinspiring to meet young, young
(21:53):
people, young folks that arethey're the answer to the chaos,
they're the answer to um thisworld, this society.
They're the cure for the USA,they're the cure for us because
this is the reason why CharlieKirk focused on college campuses
and and um wanted to reallychange the tide in this country
(22:13):
and and provide leadership anddirection for kids because
they're the ones that are goingto change this country.
And um, it was so heartwarmingand refreshing to have those
conversations and to meet thesefolks.
I actually met two people thatrun turning point chapters in my
state, and I was able to givesome follows and have some great
conversations, and it gave mesome hope, much like when I was
(22:37):
at the Scott Hegan Fair and umand I met Isaiah, and I
mentioned to you guys how Ireally feel like that gave me
hope for the next generation,that there are there are youth
out there that still live withpassion and compassion and do
things the right way, the way wewere brought up.
So meeting Isaiah and then beingthere and meeting these kids
(22:58):
from um turning point chaptersin my own state, it was
heartwarming.
And uh, I just felt welcomed andI felt appreciated, and I wanted
them to feel the same.
But this entire weekend was agreat experience for us.
It was um truly uplifting andfulfilling.
And we had a great weekend, itwas a great success.
(23:20):
Um, we achieved some some greatsales for ourselves, and um, we
feel like this could be theturning point, shall I say, the
tipping point to start to put uson that right path to get us out
of um, you know, the uh thechaos we've created.
And we've talked about that overthe past few weeks.
(23:40):
That I feel like there is alight and we will find a way,
and I'm committed to findingthat way.
And this weekend was a shot ofuh hope and uh placed us in in a
new direction, so much so thatI've been eagerly looking for
other events to try to get into.
Again, it's gonna be more of achallenge, so I don't really
have the vehicles for it movingforward, but um I'm seeking
(24:03):
different avenues andopportunities.
One thing that that like peopleneed to understand is for me,
one of the worst months you canhave in this business is January
and February because people willgear up and start to spend money
for Christmas and um you knowthe holidays and such.
But once Christmas is over,people start to think about
things.
(24:24):
Number one, I gotta start payingoff the credit cards that I use
over the holidays.
Number two, I might need oil, Imight need propane, I need fuel,
um, I need to take care of myfamily and all those things.
Maybe I also got new clothes forChristmas and such.
So buying apparel from peoplelike me goes on the back burner.
And with the uh the debt and theoverhead that I've created um
(24:45):
for the business and for myself,I need to prepare myself for
those dark months.
Usually I come out of fairseason with enough cash flow to
handle those months.
This year I don't have that, soI'm pushing hard towards that.
But it was an encouragingweekend for that.
I had some ideas, it'sphilosophies, and I started
reaching out to other places togo.
And unfortunately, those haven'tcome through yet.
(25:06):
A lot of those places arealready booked up, and we have
to be um selective too, becausea traditional just um
run-of-the-mill Christmas craftfair, we probably ain't gonna
sell much there.
There needs to be the rightattraction, the right um
demographic.
So we're looking for those whoare trying to figure those
things out.
In the meantime, um, I had tocome home and buy more product,
(25:28):
restock more product to getready for next weekend.
Our Freedom t-shirts.
I brought a bunch of Freedomt-shirts, and um, by the time I
left on Sunday, I have onesmall, and then it jumps to a to
a 2x and then a 4x and a 5x.
That's all that's left.
So I've got a busy week ahead ofme getting um product stocked up
(25:49):
and ready to rock and roll, buttremendously encouraging
weekend, and um I need to becreative and I need to uh stay
on it and to get things done.
So look forward more excitingthings from us in the future.
But hopefully, if you're in thearea, uh you want to come out
and see the way things used tobe, if you want to experience
(26:10):
the holidays, the Christmasshopping craziness that used to
happen.
If you want to go back tostanding in a mall and seeing
people just running aroundendlessly, happy, having a good
time, spending money, then findus, meet us, greet us, come see
us at the Bangor Mall thisweekend.
I appreciate you, and I hope tosee you.
(26:32):
Gotcha! LauProud American is alifestyle brand dedicated and
determined to represent theAmerican spirit with an
unrelenting commitment toprovide made in the USA
products.
If you would like to join the 2%of Americans that buy American
(26:56):
and support American, head onover to
www.looproudamerican.shop.
Together, we can bring backAmerican manufacturing.
Alright, alright, alright.
Appreciate y'all giving me theopportunity to uh celebrate and
appreciate and uh share thesuccess of our last weekend, and
(27:20):
hopefully it inspired y'all toget into the Christmas season.
You know what I'm saying?
I hope that um that was anencouraging story.
Literally, I don't want to keeppounding on it, but it it just
felt different.
It felt familiar and different.
It felt different from the shitthat we've been going through,
but familiar from the things andstuff that we went through that
(27:40):
we grew up with.
And for just a moment in time,it felt like people weren't
stressed about the economy,people weren't stressed about
social distancing, peopleweren't stressed about um our
differences.
It was just sharingconversation, having a good
time, and uh getting out in thecommunity and supporting each
other and small businesses.
So it was encouraging.
(28:02):
But this whole episode can't beum all warm and fuzzy.
This whole episode can't be justum, you know, just ribbons and
ice cream and fart and unicornsand glitters and romantic uh
Christmas scenes.
That was a ridiculous way ofsaying I'm gonna start talking
(28:23):
about something a littledifficult, something a little
bit depressing.
And um I mentioned it in thebeginning of the show saying
that I wanted to have an umuncomfortable but necessary
conversation about mentalhealth.
And um we often go through lifeand we just put the mental
health aspect of life behind us,and we don't think about the
(28:47):
people in our lives and um whatthey're going through, what
they're struggling with untilsomething happens, right?
And we've had many of episodeson here where you know something
happens.
Like I've had conversations overthe past five years over um, you
know, an acquaintance, beautifulyoung girl with her whole life
ahead of her committing suicide,of an athletic director and
(29:10):
school teacher committingsuicide, and these things that
come out of nowhere that youwouldn't expect.
And over the past few months, mywife has been brave enough and
bold enough to share the storyof her mother committing
suicide.
So we have these conversationsabout mental health, but we
don't always have them until atragedy kicks in.
And um, over the past few weeks,my family has um dealt with uh
(29:34):
some struggles and and haddifficult conversations and
those things, those things arelife, but it also brought to the
forefront the importance oflistening and the importance of
having conversations becauseeven when you communicate with
people on a regular basis, maybeeven a daily basis, maybe even a
constant basis, you might notrealize that they're struggling.
(30:00):
Might not know that they'rehaving a hard time because they
might appear to be the rock,they might appear to be the
foundation.
You understand what I'm saying?
They are the rock solid onesthat you just don't worry about.
But maybe you didn't ask, andmaybe you weren't listening uh
closely enough.
So if there's people in yourlife that maybe you see and talk
(30:21):
to on the daily or constantly,and you still don't really know
what they're feeling and howthey're handling life, what
about the folks that you don'ttalk to so often?
Start to work yourself back fromthe center to the outside.
Let's go from the core of theonion and we're gonna work our
way all the way back to the peeland ask yourself the same
question.
If you live with somebody andand and you you love somebody
(30:43):
and you share conversations, youdon't always know what they're
thinking.
Think about how difficult it isto have a relationship, right?
As men, we always say, Man,women, I don't know what they're
thinking.
And as women, you might say,Men, I doubt they're even
thinking, right?
Think about that for a minute.
So when you have that scenario,ask yourself, how confident are
(31:03):
you that you know your spouse isokay?
Now, remove yourself from thecenter.
Go back a few layers on theonion.
Maybe there's a parent or asibling that you um don't talk
to every day, but you talk to,you know, once a week or once
every other week or something.
How confident are you in knowinghow they feel?
How confident are you in knowingthat they are okay, that they
(31:26):
don't need something from you?
Now, at that point, let's workour way out of the onion some
more.
Let's go back a few layers ofthe onion and ask yourself maybe
there's somebody you only seeonce a month.
Are you confident in how they'refeeling?
Are you confident when they gohome they're okay?
Now think about the friends andfamily that you only see on the
holidays.
(31:47):
Think about the friends andfamily, those close best friends
that you grew up with that youhaven't talked to in years.
Do you know how they're feeling?
Do you know they're okay?
Do you know they're notstruggling?
Or is there any remote sense ofdoubt or question that maybe
they're going through something?
Maybe they're having a difficulttime dealing with something.
(32:09):
All these questions we don'thave answers for.
And I'm confident if you're likeme, the further you get away
from the center of the onion,the more vague it becomes, the
less convicted you are in yourquestions.
And I say these things becauseoftentimes, just like the
stories I've shared about peoplethat have passed that have taken
(32:31):
their life, you assume they'regood.
You assume they're okay, but wedon't know they're okay until we
hear from another close friend.
Hey, did you hear so-and-so tooktheir life?
Now, I'm saying all thesethings, and I'm gonna make some
connections, and I'm gonna leadinto things, and this all
becomes a melting pot here, butI'm gonna use some recency bias
(32:53):
here and some things that haveprovoked this conversation.
Y'all already know, if you'vebeen listening, I'm a major
sports fan, and uh, I'm adiehard Cowboys fan and Yankees
fan.
And this past week for me was adifficult time as a fan because
I woke up one morning and I wason my phone checking um, you
know, like all my my sportsconnections and such, and they
(33:15):
were all saying, I'm prayingthis isn't true.
All these beat reporters for theCowboys and certain players and
people that I follow, they weresaying, I hope this is made up,
and if this is made up, this isdisgusting.
I pray this isn't true.
And I knew something wasobviously bad, and I started
fishing around, and I found outthat there's a young Dallas
Cowboys defensive player,Marshawn Nealan.
(33:37):
He's 24 years old, and uhMarshawn was drafted, I believe,
out of Western Michigan um lastyear.
Not this past draft, but theyear before.
So this is his sophomore year asa cowboy.
He was drafted um two seasonsago, and in his first season, he
came on strong.
He was looking great, he had aninjury, it cost him his whole
(33:58):
season, and he rehabbed like ananimal, and he came back this
year, and he's looked good.
He's had ups and downs, but atthe start of the year, he
started off with his first evercareer sack, and um two weekends
ago, the last game the Cowboysplayed because last weekend they
had a bye.
He actually recovered a fumblefor a touchdown, his first ever
(34:19):
fumble recovery and first evertouchdown.
24-year-old young man with hisentire life ahead of him, a
locker room favorite.
By everything that I've read,he's an extremely hard worker,
and uh, he's a quiet kid with animpressive, bold, beautiful
smile, and um just chiseled likea Greek god, right?
(34:43):
He's a good-looking kid, he'she's just shredded in great
shape with a dynamic smile andjust a super hardworking kid.
He doesn't believe in going outand partying, he doesn't believe
in any of the nonsense.
He's a hardworking kid.
And um his his teammates histeammates loved him.
Now, I can only see anindividual play on Sunday,
(35:04):
right?
And you can and I I'm a junkie,so I'll watch interviews and all
these things.
I don't know enough about theman, but everything that I know
of him says that he's a greatindividual, great hard-working
young man.
And me as a fan, I'm excited tosee where his future goes.
I did not know that he has umbeen dealing with some mental
demons.
And his mother died a littlewhile ago.
(35:27):
I'm not sure of the time frame,but I found out that he's been
struggling with that.
Anybody that's lost a parent,much like myself or my wife has
recently, you struggle withlosing a parent and being 24 on
the cusp of you know his wholelife being ahead of him, right?
And when I say on the cusp of, Ishould say on the cusp of uh his
(35:48):
NFL career really taking off.
He just scored his firsttouchdown, and he's got his
first deal, like he's making it,he's achieving his dream that so
many people don't get toachieve.
Like, think of the likelihood ofsomeone wanting to play in the
NFL and actually getting to dothat, being drafted in the
second round, having your wholecareer and life ahead of you,
losing his mother at a youngage.
(36:09):
And um, I listened to someCowboys reporters say we had
interviews with him and we askedhim about his mother, and he
broke down and started crying.
And um, you realize thatsomeone's really struggling, but
you don't know any of this,right?
And I'm saying all this to kindof you know create an image to
paint a picture for y'all.
If you're not sports fans, freeto understand this young man
(36:30):
with a whole life ahead of him,and apparently he's been
battling these mental demons,and it came to a head one night
last week, and he actually wasin an argument um with his
family, and he told hisgirlfriend that um I'm just
gonna end all of it.
And he left in a fit of rage,and she had to call the police
(36:53):
and do a wellness check and say,This is him, this is what he's
driving, uh, he's carrying aweapon, like he's a threat to
himself, you know, and I needyou to um try to stop him to
intervene.
And uh think about having tomake that phone call first off,
and then number two, um thedifficult thing here is as she's
(37:16):
making this phone call and she'stalking to I believe it was
Dallas Fort Worth PoliceDepartment, they were already in
pursuit with his vehicle becausethey caught him speeding through
town, so they ended up in apursuit of his vehicle, and um
he ends up outrunning the copsfor for you know a certain
period of time.
They come out around this cornerand they find his vehicle off in
(37:38):
the woods.
And I believe they had to bringin air support to try to find
him.
They get out looking for him,he's not in the vehicle.
They later find him in thewoods, deceased from a
self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Twenty-four years old, hisentire life ahead of him, living
and fulfilling his dreams.
(38:00):
He shoots himself, he killshimself, he removes himself from
this world, he removes himselffrom his dreams, he removes
himself from this tremendouslife that he's built for
himself.
Can you imagine that?
We think about the difficultythat we go through, that we grow
through in life.
(38:20):
We have this podcast, Share theStruggle, where we come on here
and share our struggles, and Italk to you about financial
struggles, I talk to you aboutlosing family members, I talk to
you about being pushed out,thrown out, and kicked out.
By all accounts, here's thisyoung man living the life of his
dreams, and he ends it all.
(38:42):
I would have to say, the peoplein his circle, the people in the
center of that onion, not all ofthem knew his struggles.
The Dallas Cowboys as a team,and I can selfishly proclaim
this, they're one of the bestorganizations when it comes to
mental health because DakPrescott, say what you want
about the person as a player,but as a man, as one of the
(39:05):
greatest leaders in sports, andhis brother committed suicide.
Dak does so much for mentalhealth, he actually won the man
of the year award for his workin mental health.
Solomon Thomas, anotherteammate, is the same way.
And these two have done so muchfor mental health, they have
programs set up for the teamright there at the facilities.
(39:29):
So for them to miss this, forthem to not know this, and then
for them to um literally findout that their brother was
struggling this way with all thelifelines that are there, with
all that is there uh to supportthem, to help them, and still
have this happen, it'sunbelievable, right?
(39:52):
It's heartbreaking.
Solomon and Dak have livedthrough family members
committing suicide.
So I'm sure as having a brotherin the locker room having this
happen, it has to really tearthem apart and and and bring
back so much hurt, and thenstart it all over again.
And I want to share this quote,this message that Solomon Thomas
(40:16):
put out, because I think thatthis is um eye-opening and
really drives home the messageI'm trying to I'm trying to make
here today.
Brother Marshawn, I love you.
I wish you knew it was going tobe okay.
I wish you knew the painwouldn't last and how loved you
are.
I wish you knew how bad wewanted you to stay.
(40:37):
My heart breaks for you and yourloved ones.
We will lift your spirit upevery day.
I wish you knew it was gonna beokay.
I wish you knew this painwouldn't last.
I wish you knew how much weloved you.
I wish you knew that we wantedyou to stay.
Go back to your onion, go backto your center.
When you get down to the centerand we start to work our way
(40:59):
out, do the people that areclose to you, do they know that
you love them?
Do they know that you want themto stay?
Do they know if they're hurting,if there's pain, that you will
help them make sure that it allgoes away?
As you start to remove yourselffrom the center and you start to
go back in those layers of theonion, people you start to see,
you know, once a week or talk toonce a week or once every other
(41:21):
week, do they know it's gonna beokay?
Do they know that you love them?
Do they know that you want themto stay?
When you get to the outer shellof that onion, when you get to
the outer peel, the flaky,crappy stuff, you gotta take off
the onion before you start tocry and cut and and and have
tears running down your face.
That outside, useless layer ofthe onion.
Do those people living on thefringe of the onion know that
(41:44):
you love them, that you wantthem to stay?
Do they know the pain will goaway?
Do they know that you want themhere?
I think it's impossible for allof us to listen and to talk and
to say, everybody that revolvesaround my onion that revolves
around me knows I love them andI want them here to stay.
(42:09):
That's a tough thing aboutmental health, folks.
We never really know.
So, what do we do?
What can we do?
If I think about the Cowboysteam, they have all these
meetings, all theseconversations about hey man, I'm
here for you.
All these support groups andoptions and hotlines, and yet
this still happened.
(42:29):
Yet these conversations maybenever took place, or maybe they
did take place and they justweren't effective.
We don't know.
I do know there's a thing thatcomes down to um just surefire,
I guess, masculinity when itcomes to men, when it comes to
um men in sports, primarily, Iguess you would say where it's
(42:52):
hard to say I'm not okay.
And I'm sure that you women wereraised the same way, many of
you, but I can just say that theway I am and the man that I am
and and growing up, it was notalways okay to say I'm not okay.
You looked weak to say, I'm notokay.
(43:14):
I'm the person that playedsports and would you know break
fingers and ankles and this andthat and tape them up and say,
I'm gonna be okay.
My dad's adage was always, I'mokay, I'm always gonna be okay.
Everything is gonna be okay.
So you are breaking history, youare breaking the oak, you are
(43:36):
changing the hands of time toput your hand up and say, I'm
not okay.
We're raised in the way ofsaying everything is gonna be
okay, refusing to acknowledgethat we are not okay, we get
looked down upon when we saywe're not okay.
People get criticized for havingthose mental breakdowns.
(43:56):
People get called out, made funof, um, over sharing that
they're not okay.
So, how do we resolve this?
How do we answer this?
I wish I had all the answers forthis because if I did, then
maybe we wouldn't have theproblems that we're having, but
that's it's not the case, right?
There's no perfect answer.
(44:17):
I think that we just we can'tfix all of society, we can't
change the world that's aroundus, but we can make a difference
on the people that are around usby letting them know that you're
always willing to have aconversation.
I guess it comes down to uscreating an environment that
(44:38):
says, Hey man, I'm always okayto talk to.
Hey man, I'm never gonna judgeyou when you're having a
difficult time.
I'm never gonna turn my shoulderon you, I'm never gonna look
different towards you.
It's okay to not be okay.
I would much rather have thebreakdown and you not be okay
than to have the other side ofthat and then you be gone and
(45:02):
not be around, and then I too amnot okay, that us together are
not okay because we will neverbe together again.
Those decisions are final, myfriend.
I'm having this conversationbecause I want anybody listening
today to know I love you, and Iwant you to be here.
(45:22):
Whatever it is that you're goingthrough that you're growing
through, this too shall pass.
You will get through it, we willget through it.
We have built a positive vibeand a positive tribe.
And even if you wanted to turn amicrophone on and talk to
everybody listening and say, heyman, I'm going through something
and I need some help, and youwanted to be anonymous or
whatever you wanted to do, Iwould give that to you.
(45:44):
If you needed to talk to me atany time, at any hour, I would
give that to you.
Because I care about you.
And I think it's important forus to have that open,
transparent line ofcommunication that says, Hey,
people, I care about you, andI'm always willing to listen to
you, and I'm always willing tobe here for you.
We always have those, you know,hey, how you doing?
(46:08):
How you been?
How's your mom and them?
Greetings when we meet people.
And generally you want to knowthat people are that that people
are okay, but is anybody everreally going to be like, you
know what, dude?
Life sucks and I'm struggling.
And if they say that, are yougonna slow down and you're like,
whoa, man, let's you okay?
Or are you gonna be like, dude,I was just asking, like, figure
(46:29):
your speech if you're y'allgood?
You know what I mean?
Like, how you doing?
Because I don't think thatinteraction that, hey, how you
doing?
How you been?
Everything okay?
Things are okay?
I don't think that really getsthe response that we need when
someone is struggling.
And I'm a habitual offender ofasking people that I care about,
you okay?
Is everything good?
(46:51):
And sometimes I think that maybeI do that so much that it just
annoys them and they start tosay, dude, would you expect me
to not be okay?
But I care about you and I worryabout you, so I want you to be
okay.
So I hope that I'm not a youknow an over-asker, I guess you
should say, right?
I hope not the habitual offenderof uh wanting you to know that
(47:12):
I'm here for you, but but it'sthe truth, man.
I think that life is too short.
There's no guarantee on you andme, and I would hate to make my
exit without the people that Ilove most knowing that I love
them.
And I would hate to know thatthe people I love most took an
early exit because they didn'tthink I was here for them.
So we're having this awkwardconversation, this um difficult
(47:36):
conversation, because I hopesomething comes of this
conversation.
I hope this provokes you to umopen yourself up to the people
you care about, start workingfrom the layers of your onion
and checking in on some folksand letting them know, man, I
love you.
I got you.
It's been a long time, man.
I know life ain't easy.
I hope you all are okay.
If you need me, I'm here, man.
(47:56):
Those conversations need tohappen.
We need to have thoseconversations, and I implore
you, I empower you, and I hopefor you to have those
conversations.
Last week, outside of thisMarshawn Nealan story, there was
a situation in my life where Iwas extremely worried about
somebody, and um, I was drivingaround at night in the pouring
(48:17):
rain, heartbroken and concernedfor somebody.
And um that's not a goodfeeling, and um that's extremely
difficult.
And uh I'm not gonna sayanything about the person or the
situation because I don't wantto um violate any trust, and I
(48:40):
don't want to make this aboutanybody or anything other than
trying to give you something torelate to, to hopefully provoke
you to check in on your people,to listen to your people.
Because during those moments offear, driving around endlessly
looking where I would assumethis person might be, where this
(49:00):
friend could be, thinking, was Inot a good enough friend?
Thinking that I not do enough,thinking that this person that I
cared about so much not know howmuch I care about them?
The conversation we had, thethings that were shared, did
(49:21):
they not understand my level ofcommitment in love?
Thinking that if this could meaneither the end of a friendship,
or even worse, someone actuallydoing something to themselves,
(49:45):
and then whether I could evenlive with myself.
That feeling, that fear isparalyzing.
When you start to roleplay yourconversations, when you start to
play them back in your mind, youstart to walk yourself back and
you think, Did I not listen?
(50:06):
Did you think, were there signsthat I did not interject my
feelings?
You start thinking, Did Iprovoke these feelings?
You start thinking, did myactions, did my way of talking,
did my way of communicating, wasthat misinterpreted?
Did I do things to them thatmade them feel inadequate?
(50:29):
Did I do things and say thingsto them that made them not feel
loved?
Did I do things and say thingsto them where they didn't think
I was ever going to be there forthem?
You start to think about that.
And you start to ask yourself,what could I have done and what
did I do?
And you start to think about thefact that you don't know all the
things that your friends andfamily and loved ones are going
(50:52):
through.
Even if they shared all thesethings with you, you don't
really truly know everything.
And the further you get from thecenter of your onion, the less
you know.
So I share this with you to hopethat you can do better to be
better, to do a better job to bea better friend, a better
(51:16):
brother, sister, mother, son,father, daughter, cousin,
husband, wife, co-worker.
Do better to be better.
That can be for all of us.
I will say that thankfully, myquest in the night driving
(51:37):
around to find somebody to makesure they were okay, that all
ended okay.
That all ended well.
It was scary for me to wake up afew days later and hear the
story of Marshawn Nealand andrealize, wow.
I didn't know what that personwas truly going through.
(51:58):
This could have been theoutcome.
And then I've spent the pastweek thinking about all the
people in my life that havetaken themselves from my life
and I didn't know what they werefeeling and what they were
thinking.
So I was gonna take thisopportunity to say to any of you
listening that I don't know whatyou're thinking and how you're
(52:18):
feeling, but if you needsomebody to know what you're
thinking and how you're feeling,if you need somebody to bounce
ideas off, to find strength in,to confide in, then I'm here for
you.
And I have this conversation toimplore everybody to do better,
to be better, do a better job ofbeing the better version of you.
(52:38):
I think this all starts withlistening and looking for clues
and then asking yourself, am Icommunicating correctly?
And do these people that I careabout truly know that I am here
for them and I never want tolose them.
I pray to God this conversationmade some kind of difference.
(52:59):
I know having theseconversations over the past week
has made a difference in mylife, and I hope I don't lose
sight of that difference.
I truly appreciate and thank andlove each and every one of you.
Please know it's okay to not beokay.
It's not okay to not tellsomebody that you're not okay.
(53:21):
Do better and be better.
I love each and every one ofyou.
Thank you for supporting myAmerican dream.
Now go wash.
You filthy hits.
You feel the animal.
I gotta change it to myChristmas movie.
That was uh Home Alone.
Yeah.
Christmas time.
You know what I mean?
They get all the hits.
Love ya.
That's it, and that's all,Biggie Smalls.
(53:57):
If you're allowed ProudAmerican, and you find yourself
or find me on YouTube, Facebook,allowed Proud American Facebook,
I'm just if you're famous, ifyou want to find me on
Instagram, tickety talk on thetickety talk.
(54:18):
You can find me on all of thoseunderscore underscore things,
the voice of the structure ofthe background.
(54:41):
You are enjoying what you'rehearing.
(55:13):
Now go wash your fucking hands,you filthy savage.
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