Camper Confessions: Finding Faith at the Fair

Sometimes the hardest moments reveal our greatest blessings. From the comfort of my wife's camper instead of the school bus I planned to sleep in, this episode takes you on the raw, unfiltered journey of a small business owner fighting for survival at the Skowhegan State Fair.

What does it feel like to open your booth in 95-degree heat, wait five hours for your first sale, and end a 10-hour day with just $120 in your pocket? I'm holding nothing back as I share the mental battle between the demon whispering "give up" and the angel reminding me why I started. Every entrepreneur knows this struggle—watching your savings dwindle while bills pile up and wondering if you're crazy for believing in your dream.

But amidst this struggle, unexpected blessings emerge. Friends driving hours to transport my camper without being asked. My 18-year-old new friend Isaiah working the night shift at a dairy farm, then volunteering at my booth during the day. When a young man with a severe cut stumbles through the fairgrounds, Isaiah's EMT training proves more valuable than the actual first responders who arrive late and unhelpful.

This episode evolved in real-time over two recording sessions, allowing you to hear my optimism in the morning transform into raw vulnerability by day's end. It's the most transparent I've ever been about my faith, my fears, and the divine timing that keeps me going when logic says quit.

If you're facing your own seemingly impossible challenge, or if you've ever wondered what keeps a small business owner fighting when the numbers don't add up, this conversation might be exactly what you need to hear today. Sometimes the village that supports your dream becomes the greatest blessing of all.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This week's episode of Share the Struggle Podcast is
another Camper Studio episode,because this week I am recording
live well, I guess it'spre-recorded for all of you, but
I'm live doing it, which I'm anidiot.
Basically, what I'm trying tosay here, folks, is I am at the

(00:22):
Skowhegan State Fair and I amrecording this week's episode of
the podcast from the Wifey'sNew Camper.
So this week's show is how didwe get here, how's it going and
why we must keep counting ourblessings?
Let me tell you somethingEverybody struggles.
The difference is some peoplechoose to go through it and some

(00:45):
choose to grow through it.
The choice is completely yours.
Which one you choose will havea very profound effect on the
way you live your life.
If you find strength in thestruggle, then this podcast is
for you.
This podcast is for you.
You have a relationship that iscomfortable with uncomfortable

(01:08):
conversations.
Uncomfortable conversationschallenge you, humble you and
they build you.
When you sprinkle a little timeand distance on it, it all
makes sense.
Most disagreements, they stemfrom our own insecurities.
You are right where you need tobe Back on time.

(01:33):
We can fight for our rights thewhole day gone.
We'll be fine Too fast and thewaves will be slow.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
What it do, what it do, what ithot Do-do-do-do.
Good Lord Almighty, am I soexcited to be back with you?

(01:55):
Oh, it is true, it is damn true.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
How do you do, baby boo?
Welcome to another camperrecording session.
This is the first recording inthe new camper.
I'm trying to recall the namethe wife came up with.
I think it's like Nalia orsomething.

(02:16):
I don't know.
We name all of our campers, sowe had Tallulah Matilda.
I think this is Nalia.
It's an Indian spirit name ofsome sort.
I'll have her explain it.
I don't know.
But anyways, I'm recording thisepisode of the podcast from the
camp and I know some of youlistening right now are asking
yourself.
You're saying to yourself self,didn't this some of a bitch?

(02:39):
Tell me he was going to beliving in a school bus?
Well, it pays to have goodfriends.
Okay, it pays to have greatfriends.
I shall say it's also a keyingredient to have a loving wife
who thinks things out anddecides that old boy's going to

(03:00):
suffer.
And yeah, maybe I should helpfigure out a way to make this
happen.
And I know he's not going toask for help, so I'll do it,
because that's just how I'mwound.
All right, I don't really tendto ask for help.
I guess that's a guilty faultof mine.
Full confessional Get theCabela's catalog.

(03:20):
Put the old left hand on theCabela's catalog, beady little
eyes to the sky.
Truth from the sky.
I don't ask for help.
So here's the scenario.
The plan was I was going tostay in the old Hulabas because
our tow vehicle situation hasn'tgone the way we thought it

(03:41):
would go.
So we had to make a little bitof a pivot.
Nothing crazy.
We just kind of had to changeplans and also get ourselves a
vehicle that would be a bigfamily vehicle.
So I'm going to share somedetails on this in a further
episode because I'm saving thiswhole conversation.
But I really just kind of wantto give you guys a little

(04:02):
understanding as to why I wasplanning on bringing the school
bus.
So the new vehicle that we havethat's going to be the family
vehicle and the tow vehicle forthe camper isn't quite ready to
haul.
And when I say that, what Imean is when you put the camper
on the old girl, she what, what,squats a lot, um, like a, like

(04:29):
a hen on an egg.
Okay, that's, I got nothing.
It's been a long week, allright, but uh, it squats, the
old truck ski a little too much.
So we're not going to haul thecamper two hours under said
conditions.
And, um, it needed to be gonethrough.
We just got this vehicle.
So, again, I'm being very vaguefor a reason, because someday in

(04:51):
the future I'm going to sharethis story.
But uh, I have plans for it.
So you just quit, quit judgingme, judy.
Just let me finish my story,would you?
Joe brown, god, there's nothingI hate more than being judged
on a freaking Tuesday morning ina camper.
Wow, you know of all thedisrespect.

(05:12):
Anyways, we said this isn't theright time to use this vehicle
for this situation.
I'm just going to take the bus,I'm going to be on my own, I'm
going to be solo.
It is what it is.
We're going to make it all work.
I'll put an AC in the bus, Imounted a TV to the wall.
I did all those things and thewife said no, I'm not going to
let this happen.

(05:32):
So she called one of my greatfriends, toby Reynolds, and she
said hey, tobe, any chance youcould pick up our camper.
And he said done, deal.
And the next thing I know he'scalling me saying hey, I'm
picking up your camper tomorrow.
What time do you want to leave?
And if you think about this,this is somebody that he's 45
minutes an hour away from me.
He's going to drive to my house, meet me in the morning, hook

(05:54):
onto my camper.
He's going to drive two hoursnorth, help me set my camper up,
and then he's going to drivetwo hours back home.
So, going out of his way tohelp, and it's something that I
wouldn't ask somebody for thatlevel of help because I feel bad
asking.
It's a guilty fault of mine.
We just discussed this.
I just confessed to you.
Why are you questioning meabout it?

(06:15):
Okay, so, wow, my phone justkeeps going off.
Sorry, I usually silence myphone, but I'm at the fair.
This is a new fair for me andI'm supposed to be opening here
soon, so I have my phone on incase I need to get down there
for some reason, some scenario,someone needs to get a hold of

(06:37):
me, so that's the reason forthat.
I apologize.
What the hell were we talkingabout?
Oh, I was confessing about thefact that I'm a loser that
doesn't like to ask for help,and I don't want to
inconvenience people more thannecessary, right, but I learned
something, and that's where thisis going.

(06:58):
Hear me say that I'm blessed andwe talk about, you know,
counting our blessings.
We had an episode justcompletely on appreciation,
living with gratitude,developing that gratitude
attitude, that positivementality and mindset, and it
just continues.
And this week, when I've hadsome slow time, some downtime, I

(07:21):
sit around and think about howblessed I am by the village of
support that I have in my life,each and every one of you that's
listening right now, so many ofyou that have been listening
since day one.
We have five years of episodes,week after week after week,
since July 2020.
Y'all been tuning in my dayones get your ones up All my day

(07:43):
ones, my original ones, theones that have been here since
episode one.
I love you and I appreciate you, and all along the way, we've
gathered and gained some loyalones, some new ones.
To each and every one of you.
I thank you and I appreciateyou.
It's because of you that Icontinue to find the time, to
make the time, to dedicate thetime to this here podcast, to
this here show.
This is why I'm in my camperright now, with the AC off, when

(08:07):
it's 95 degrees out, and I'mbuilding a sweat lodge
confessional in here because I'mcommitted to you, because I
love you and you guys arecommitted to me.
You're one layer of theappreciation.
You're one layer of theblessings, the many blessings
that I have in my life and I'mrealizing that this week as I
sit back and I see all theamazing things that are

(08:29):
happening for me, around me andso many of those things I'm not
even asking for.
And that's incredible To haveone of my best friends show up,
hook onto my camper, drive twohours, a four-hour trip, out of
his way just to get me set upfor an event that my family
depends on, that my businessdepends on.
He goes out of his way,inconveniences himself and his

(08:51):
business.
He's a business owner, so heputs his things on the back
burner to help me, to get me ina position where I can succeed,
because he knows that I need itand he knows that I shouldn't be
sleeping in the bus when it's95 degrees out here.
So he does that.
That's one layer, that's onestep for me.
Me being at this fair took atremendous push from friends of

(09:14):
mine, from Matt and SarahPerkins, saying, hey, I think
this would be a good thing foryou.
This is a good opportunity foryou, matt getting me the contact
info to get in my friends, kyleand Julia from Underdog Metal,
them being here and Kylereaching out saying, hey, man,
I'm going too.
You should do this.
At least you'll know somebodyelse that's there.
You should be there.
So there's all these layers ofpushing and these layers of

(09:34):
people in my life that careabout me and my family and our
success and our health and ourwell-being.
So when you're sitting back andyou're slow and you start
thinking about those things andyou realize, man, I am blessed.
I am so incredibly blessed.
So as I'm sitting back and I'mthinking about these things, I
also think about my wife and mymother and them changing their

(09:55):
schedules around for me to behere.
I usually bring my mom to andfrom work.
Now one of my mom's co-workersis doing that, replacing me from
those duties.
My wife has one of her greatfriends, allie, watching Paisley
On the days that my mom's nothome.

(10:15):
My wife's leaving early,grabbing the baby working from
home, all these moving parts,all this effort that goes into
me being here.
And then, as I talk to youabout the new family vehicle
that we have for a futureepisode.
I'm going to share the detailslater.
We talk about that, my friendsand family, that and I say
friends and family For thepeople that are listening on day

(10:36):
one, this is your new episodefor you.
I want you to understand thatmy friends become my family when
we break bread and shed tearstogether and we go through
trials and tribulations together, highs and lows together, ups
and downs together.
When you go around this worldtogether and you are loyal to
each other, you become family.

(10:58):
The truth is to me is itdoesn't take blood to be related
to me, because when the truthcomes from me, most people that
are blood to me no longer loveme or appreciate me.
So it's the friends and familyout there that I've made along
the way that prove to be loyal,that prove to be dedicated, that

(11:19):
prove to be genuine right.
That's family to me.
When you often hear me say youknow one of my best friends, my
brother, my sister, like thesepeople, are my family.
Y'all listening you become myfamily, you're a part of my
family.
If you listen week to week, youknow more about me than my
blood knows about me.
You understand what I'm sayingso.

(11:40):
I have a big, extended family.
One of the biggest blessings inmy life is knowing that my
little girl is going to grow upwith a million aunts and uncles,
and when she goes to school,kids are going to be like how
big is your family?
How many aunts and uncles doyou have?
That's because loyalty isthicker than blood, if you ask
me so.
I am super blessed and I amsuper fortunate.
So when I talk about my familyover to the garage Chris and

(12:04):
Noah when I'm talking about themwhich I'm going to share more
details on a future episodewhat's incredible to me is I'm
here, starting out at a fair andlike opening day or opening
setup type of scenario, andChris and Noah go to my house,
pick up our vehicle, bring it totheir place and start working

(12:26):
on it, and then I'm getting theupdates on this is what we're
doing, this is what we have.
Then they're bringing thevehicle back to my house,
hooking it up to a horse trailer, checking on it, bringing it
back home.
I'm getting constant messages,constant updates.
All these things are happeningwithout me moving, without me
asking these people in my life,this family that I've developed

(12:47):
along the way, is the greatestblessing that I could ever
possibly imagine and I'mthankful for them each and every
day.
Think about it, folks.
When you're sitting back andsweating in a tent in a field 95
degrees you're slightlydelususional, you're on the cusp
of blacking out, you haven'tmade sales in some time, but you

(13:10):
see like your security camerago off and a friend of yours is
bringing your vehicle home or tothe garage and you didn't ask
or you didn't know about it.
When you know a friend iscoming to your eyes calling you
I'll be at your house at 7 inthe morning to haul the camper
for you and you didn't ask forit it's overwhelmingly amazing.

(13:33):
And to sit back and think aboutthe blessings that I have and
to sit back and think about howmany people and how much effort
it takes to build a business, tobuild a brand, to try to
overtake this task at hand right, it's bigger than me.

(13:54):
This business and this missionis bigger than me.
Loud Proud American doesn'texist without these blessings,
these family members that arepulling and pushing and trying
for me.
It doesn't happen.
Without them, I am DOA.
Without them, it doesn't happen.
This podcast doesn't continuewithout each and every one of

(14:16):
you.
So, when you stop and thinkabout it, the people that are
listening right now that I'vementioned your name.
You've kept me in business.
You've kept me alive.
You've kept my dream alive.
You've kept the future for myfamily alive.
That's not lost on me.
I appreciate you more than youpossibly know.
Each and every one of youlistening to this podcast right

(14:37):
now.
You've kept this dream alive.
We continue to strive becauseyou continue to come back, week
after week after week.
When I'm sitting back and I'mhaving another challenging week,
a big old, sweaty ass week,it's not lost on me that this
opportunity wouldn't be here forme if it wasn't for each and

(14:58):
every one of you.
Now, the key to this is I startto peel back the onion and core
out.
The center of this littlescenario is that it makes it
impossible for a boy like me togive up on a dream like this
because of each and every one ofyou that puts us as a priority

(15:18):
in your life.
It's special, it's overwhelming, it can be hard to understand,
but, lord, do I appreciate it?
Man, I could literally sit backand just outline all the people
that have reached out, thathave made an impact, that have

(15:38):
made a difference in this weekfor me to be here and for us to
have this opportunity, and thatseems to happen week after week
after week.
So the old saying that it takesa village it's the absolute
truth, man.
We wouldn't be in businesswithout this village.
I wouldn't be living the life Ilive without this village and I

(16:00):
am steadfast, determined andcommitted to the fact that this
business will work, this brandwill work, and when I get to
where we need to be, it will notbe lost on me that I didn't get
there without each and everyone of you pulling me, pushing
me and encouraging me to getthere, me to get there.

(16:31):
I love y'all oh so friggin much.
It is the truth, y'all.
So that's the long-windedscenario for each and every one
of you, to understand why I'mactually getting the benefits of
air conditioning and a fullyfurnished camper, as opposed to
living in a school bus in themiddle of the field.
All right, not saying Icouldn't do it, but I didn't
have to do it because of eachand every one of you.
So, with that aside, let's setthe scene on this little
rendezvous fair.

(16:54):
How do you do so?
I'm excited to be here.
It's got a nice layout here.
There's a lot of potential here.
I'm not entirely stoked about mylocation Shocker, right, I seem
to be the trend every time I gosomewhere for the first time.
Most importantly, the reasonwhy I'm not so stoked about this
one's location is I'm on likereclaim and gravel and sand, and

(17:18):
it's one of the hottest weeksof the year, so it's incredibly
dusty and there's a racetrackbehind me, a horse track, so it
gets pretty damn dusty whenthey're dragging the track.
I got to shut my doors and Ihave to constantly, um, try to
either water my dirt frontfrontage or, uh, I've gone over

(17:39):
to the Walmart and stuff aroundhere trying to find outdoor rugs
and I haven't found any thatwere the right size or the right
price here.
But occasionally I get waterand water down the dirt inside
my booth because I don't wantthe dust to come up and ruin all
the garments.
So that's been a challenge.
Okay, that's been a challenge.
The temperature has been achallenge.

(18:02):
We are on a stretch of 90degrees here.
When you just have like abig-ass open field with no shade
and you're inside of a tent aprimarily black, red, white and
blue tent it gets a little hot.
Okay, so we're running a coupleof fans.
It's making it steamy, I willsay because of the temperatures.

(18:23):
I feel like the fair has beennot as well attended as we would
have hoped for.
I guess it's common that thisweek tends to be hot in general,
but a lot of people just aren'tcoming out during the day.
When it cools down at nightthey'll show up and the
nighttimes have been beautiful,as miserable as the day is when

(18:45):
it's 95, 100 degrees.
At night it's like 75 andperfect.
But I will say we rolled inhere on Wednesday.
Me and Toby set the camper upand then I went over and started
building my shell for thevendor display.
I started building at about 1030 am and I was done at probably
about 9 pm, took a few breaksfor heat exhaustion and lunch,

(19:09):
but it was a long setup to builda 20 by 20 by yourself and it
was super hot.
It was miserable, right, let'sbe honest.
And the next day we open up forthe fair and I went five hours
without my first sale.
Oh boy, what a doozy that was.

(19:36):
Think about it, when you spendlike 10 hours building a tent
the day before, plus all thelead up time that goes to the
fair right, the things you'remaking, the load time like the
travel time, a couple hours, theputting the camper and all that
stuff.
You start to think about allthe time you have in and then
you open the doors and you'reall excited.

(19:56):
You're like Jojo, the Indiancircus boy with a shiny new pet,
and five hours goes by beforeyour first sale and your first
big sale is $15 off yourclearance rack.
That folks will kick you in themotivational clusters, I'll
tell you the truth.
But we must remain positive andvigilant.

(20:18):
You understand, by the end ofthe night I had a remarkably
encouraging first day.
I said well, for a Thursday,this actually is not bad at all.
This is pretty good.
Maybe night times is my time.
So then on Friday I came intoFriday incredibly encouraged,
ready to rock and roll, and wedid okay Friday.

(20:40):
But it fell far short of what Iexpected for a Friday.
Traffic was pretty light andI'll also say one other
observation that I had made isit actually took me six sales on
Friday to reach $100.
That's almost impossible to doin my tent, but it showed me

(21:02):
that people are conserving moneythis week and that people were
coming in and buying $5 koozies,they were buying stickers, they
were buying items off theclearance rack.
When it takes six sales toequal $100, it's challenging to
get there.
It's hard to come up with thatnumber combination.
So it showed me that peoplewere conserving money and you

(21:22):
know that can be concerning.
But I do think the end week ofthe fair is always the better
part of the fair, so I didn'tlet it beat me up.
Friday was an okay day.
I expected Saturday to doublemy Friday and it didn't.
It actually fell a few bucksshort of my Friday.

(21:43):
So an overwhelminglydisappointing Saturday at a fair
in the state of Maine.
So that's a bummer.
And on Sunday it was so slowthat the fair actually closed
two hours early.
Now we're just going to analyzethe facts.
Okay, we are not doing as wellas we hoped for.

(22:03):
We are not doing as well as wehoped for, and I think that I've
got a reputation this year ofover forecasting and getting
over excited about events untilI get there and then them not
fulfilling my prophecy or myhopes, dreams or aspirations.
So maybe partially this is myfault.
Okay, but for a fair of thissize there's no way we shouldn't

(22:26):
be doing better.
Now I will say it seems to beeverybody around me, with the
exception of one, that is havingthis same struggle.
So that is what it is.
The unfortunate thing for me isthe one exception that's doing
well is in the same business asme and that's been a hard pill

(22:47):
to swallow.
But the difference is thattheir claim is that proceeds go
to these veteran causes, sopeople feel like they're giving
back.
So I think that that is kind ofthe difference, because their
quality and their designs, Iknow, aren't better than what we

(23:08):
are providing and their pricingis higher.
But it's still a hard pill toswallow, right.
So you're dealing with thatother kick to the confidence
clusters right there.
But overall, everybody'sfeeling down.
Overall, everybody that's beenhere before is telling me hey,
um, this isn't, this isn'tnormal.
So I'm hopeful by the end ofthe week, when, hopefully,

(23:32):
temperatures cool a little bit,people get some money in their
pockets and they want to comeout and spend at the end of the
week.
It's all going to work out.
Oftentimes, when you do thesefairs, the days that you expect
to be busy, they can be affectedby heat, they can be affected
by rain, they can be infected bya bunch of random things and

(23:52):
you might surprise yourself byhaving a random weekday be ultra
successful.
So you never really know if afair is really worth it or not
until the end of the fair andyou kind of divide it all up,
count the money and figurethings out.
With all that said, through thetrials, tribulations, ups and
downs, I will still come out andsay next year I will put this

(24:15):
fair back on my schedule and Iwill return to this fair because
I feel encouraged about thepotential and the possibility
that's here at this fair.
So that tells me I've alreadyput two events on my schedule
this year that will remain on myschedule for next year.
I've tried a multitude ofevents this year that are new,

(24:36):
but I can't guarantee I'm goingto keep all of them, but this is
one of them.
So I'm encouraged by that right, and I do think that things are
going to get better, that thisis going to get better.
This too shall pass.
I feel like tonight's going tobe a good night.
That's Demolition Derby tonight.
I feel like that's going to begood, but there's definite
challenges here.
Right, it's beyond hot.

(24:57):
I'm the new guy in town.
I've got the old dusty locationon the edge of town.
I don't know that.
All just kind of sounded good.
The schedule here is kind ofdifferent too.
We open at 1 o'clock in theafternoon and we close at 11 pm,
which is late, especially whenit's slow.
It's real late.
Now.

(25:19):
I could go out there and open alittle bit early, which I'm
pushing noontime on Monday asI'm recording this.
So I've got to wrap up and getback out there.
But it's 100 degrees, bro, andwhen I get out there and I just
start sweating, I'm going tohurry up and sweat, to hurry up
and wait.
I'm going to sit around and donothing.
So it's the old catch-22.
Do you try to get out there andhope to get an extra sale, or

(25:42):
are you just going to sweat yourass off for an extra hour or
two for no reason?
It's a battle, it's a dilemma.
Okay, it's a tough one, buthere we are fighting that good
fight.
So that's been the struggle, Iwill say, the first couple of
days I was here.
Another struggle was sleeping.
If you are closing at 11o'clock and then you come back

(26:04):
and you're super tired andyou're ready for bed, um, right
next to me there's one kind ofrun-down raggedy camper of some
I don't know carnival workers orother vendors that come rolling
in late night and make a bunchof noise.
The first night they wereunpacking their groceries at
midnight and setting off thehorn, locking the doors,

(26:27):
smashing doors, so that was kindof tough to sleep.
And then I woke up in themorning to six tents being set
up right outside my camper.
I had a real tent city outthere and them folks liked to
party all night.
So you crank the AC up, turnthe TV up and try to sleep.
But oftentimes you get doneworking at 11, you walk back and

(26:48):
maybe have a light snack, youtry to settle in and then you're
wide ass awake laying in bedjust thinking about what you got
to do, what you didn't do, whatyour family's doing, what your
baby's up to, what your wifey'sdoing.
All these things start rollingin your head and you look around
and you go son of a bitch, it's2 in the morning.
I got to sleep.
So that's been a challenge.
Okay, it's been a challenge,but I think I'm starting to

(27:11):
settle in with the routine here.
I think we're going to kick itinto high gear here and things
are going to happen.
I can feel it.
I can feel positivity about tohappen.
Another interesting, fun, coolthing has happened this week is
I made a friend out here, okay,which, when you're on the road

(27:31):
you make a bunch of friends,right?
That's just what you'resupposed to do, man.
If you're being true to you andyour brand and your cause and
you're just provokingconversation and having positive
conversation, you're gonna meetlike-minded people along the
way, you're gonna formconnections and, hopefully,
friendships and eventually youadd them folks to your family,
right?
Well, this week I met a coupleof young bucks, a couple of

(27:53):
18-year-old dudes that arefloating around here, you know,
looking for their nextgirlfriend, so to speak, and I
met a real nice young fellanamed Isaiah.
He's 18 years old, he's a realhardworking kid and we just kind
of hit it off havingconversation and like the next

(28:14):
day he came over to the tent andhe was eating some lunch or
something and he had a couple ofRed Bulls with him and I was by
myself and the tent was slow.
So I said, hey, man, have aseat if you want.
So he came on back and sat downand started having some snacks
and I put his drink in thefridge and then we just started
chatting and getting to knoweach other and then the next

(28:35):
thing you know he's there tillabout close and as I'm talking
to him, real awesome young man,right, and he gives a positive
beacon of hope for thisgeneration, because we're
talking about an 18 year old kidwho's done his EMT training,
that's done his fire one and twotraining.
He works with a fire departmentand he works on a dairy farm and

(28:59):
he works on a dairy farm thathis grandmother's worked on for
25 years and he often gets towork with his grandmother at the
same time.
So now this young fellow iswith me on a Saturday night and
he leaves.
We close at 11, 11 and heleaves, I don't know, right
around 10, 11 o'clock, somethinglike that.
He goes home, gets a quick nap,gets up for one in the morning

(29:20):
to go to work at the dairy farm,to get out at nine, to then
take a quick nap and before youknow it he's reporting to duty
at the Lound, proud Americanbooth, coming in and with his
cowboy hat on and a couple ofRed Bulls, and he comes in and
pops a squat and hangs out andgreets people and talks to
people and helps me put shirtson the shelf and he just kind of

(29:41):
covers the booth when I go tothe bathroom and we just kind of
hang out and swap life storiesand just kind of hang out and
we've spent a couple of daystogether and I've learned about
Isaiah.
I've learned a little bit abouthis life and his upbringing and
just his roots and hispersonality, his motivation, and

(30:05):
I'm just going to say it'sencouraging.
It's rather encouraging to meetan 18-year-old man trying to
find his way, trying to learnhis way, and I know a lot of you
heard me say 18-year-old manand you're saying, at 18, he's
not a man.
And I'm telling you, this youngman is.
He has the right mindset, he'sfocused, he's motivated, he has

(30:28):
a plan, he has direction.
It is refreshing, it isencouraging, it is hopeful to
meet a young man this committed,this focused, this prideful.
How many 18-year-olds do youknow that'll spend all day at a

(30:49):
fair, that'll sleep for a halfan hour, that'll get their ass
up and go to work at one in themorning at a dairy farm, bust
their ass for eight, nine hoursand come back and do it all over
again?
Not too many.
So as I'm having theseconversations with him, I'm
encouraged, I'm hopeful thatthere's more kids like him out

(31:11):
there that can save this countryand this generation, because we
know it takes our youth to fixthis country.
And when you see some of thethings going on in this country,
when you see the socialistcould-be governor in New York
and you see some of thesefreeloading people that don't
want to work for nothing, thatexpect everything to be given to
them that can ruin this country, you get hopeful, you get

(31:34):
encouraged.
When you meet an Isaiah, youknow there's promise.
When you meet an Isaiah,there's a lot of things going on
right now where, like my wifewas telling me, if you go on
TikTok right now and you searchEBT, there's people freaking out
that their EBT benefits aregetting cut.
There's people freaking outthat the government's not paying

(31:54):
for their groceries anymore.
There's people freaking outthat they have to go to work if
they want benefits.
That's the way it should be.
A handout isn't something foryou to live on.
A handout is something to helpyou get back on your feet.
Now the difference is and thetrickle-down effect for all of
us small businesses is thosepeople that are used to getting
their groceries for free nolonger have the disposable
income to buy t-shirts from me.

(32:16):
So I understand that that ispart of what I have to deal with
, part of the growing pains thatI have to go through, that I
have to grow through.
But those people that aredependent on those benefits they
need to learn and they need totry better for themselves.
They can't depend on us to tryharder for them than they try
for themselves.

(32:36):
So I'm in agreement with allthese directions, but they're
all cause and effect for mybusiness as well.
But it's interesting to me tosee these people that could be
20, 30, 40 years old complaining, able-bodied, working
individuals, complaining aboutnot getting benefits when they

(32:57):
could be getting benefits butthey don't want to work.
And then I have an 18-year-oldyoung man in my tent, shooting
this shit with me, that's goingto work at one in the morning to
bust his ass to provide forhimself, who is living on his
own, who is doing all things forhimself with a goal and a
direction in mind.
What a polarizing differencethat is, but what an encouraging

(33:20):
difference that is.
Lord, I hope and pray there'smore Isaiahs out there than
there are people with theirhands out there, because America
needs more Isaiahs.
America needs more young kidsthat are committed, like you and
me.
America needs more people thatwant to work, like you and me,
that are motivated, that aredriven, that are prideful like

(33:40):
you and me.
America needs Loud ProudAmericans.
If you ask me, gotcha, me,gotcha.
Loud Proud American is alifestyle brand, dedicated and
determined to represent theAmerican spirit, with an

(34:02):
unrelenting commitment toprovide made-in-the-USA products
.
If you would like to join the2% of Americans that buy
American and support American,head on over to
wwwlalproudamericanshop.
Together, we can bring backAmerican manufacturing.

(34:24):
All right, all right, all right.
Y'all might hear somedifference in my voice.
Y'all might experience a littleslowness, a little doneness, a
little overdone in my voice.
I decided to do something alittle bit different.

(34:46):
Okay, we ended the last segment, I went into a beautiful little
gut check and then I walked mysweet little ass on down to the
fairgrounds and I opened up andI had me a self another day.
Okay, I did this because, well,two reasons I was running late

(35:08):
and then, uh, number two mostimportantly, I thought this was
a great idea.
I wanted you to experience theroller coaster of a fair.
Okay, and, in all honesty, Ihad full intentions of doing
this for the entire episode.
I wanted to record a little biton Wednesday when I started to
set up.
I wanted to record a little biton a Thursday when I was

(35:31):
opening for the first time, youknow, on a Friday I wanted to
just do like a daily thing andyou guys could literally learn
and understand the manic chaosthat goes through the mindset of
a small business owner at afair, because it's crazy, the
ups and the downs and theturnarounds that goes through

(35:53):
your little brain is maddening.
But I've been way too tired todo that every freaking night.
So I apologize, that's a.
You know, that's on me.
Okay, I'm going to own it.
Cinderella, I own it.
It's my fault, all right.
But yesterday I said, well, wecan do, we can do it at least
once.
Right, we can swing it once.
You can force yourself intothis conversation At the end of

(36:17):
the night.
Last night I sat at my kitchentable with the microphone and I
was ready to record, but mybrain was toast and I couldn't
give to y'all the energy that itdeserved.
So I said I'll do it in themorning.
And right now I'll do it in themorning and I, right now I
regret that choice.
I'm working on the shittiestcup of coffee I've ever made.

(36:40):
Hang on, oh God, it'sdisgusting, but I need it.
Yeah, you ever do that.
Wow Gotta get it in mybloodstreamstream, regardless of
how bad it is.
Anyhow, I'm struggling a bigtime today and I and I think

(37:01):
it's because it's the firstnight I got real sleep we
actually closed early yet again,not a good sign.
Um, was a little bit early lastnight and we're not going to
open till later today, and I'mabout to tell you why in a
little bit early last night andwe're not going to open until
later today.
And I'm about to tell you whyin a little bit.
So, with that said, I actuallygot some sleep and then I woke
up at a normal hour and I forcedmyself to take a little cat nap

(37:23):
and that was a bad choice.
Okay, I'm just going to putthat out there.
That was a bad choice.
But here's the thing we nowhave the ability for you to ride
the dragon.
That is the fair circuit, andwe can connect last segment with
this segment with a couple offun stories.
All right, first things first.
I actually saw on the news thatadults quote unquote air quote

(37:51):
adults are buying pacifiers.
Have you all seen this?
This is, this is not a joke.
People have taken fidgetspinners to a whole new level.
People are now buying pacifiers, and people who claim to be
consider themselves to be adultsare buying adult pacifiers.

(38:13):
They range from $1 to like $150.
And they say, when they'refeeling stressed or overworked
at the job site, at the jobplace, they will pop in a binky
and it reminds them of theirchildhood and they can calm the
fuck down.
I share this with you because,number one, this shouldn't be

(38:37):
true.
Right, like, I limit the amountof exposure that Paisley has to
a binky because I don't wanther to be addicted to it.
And we have adults buyingbinkies.
If you worked for me and youwere tugging on a binky, I'd
slap the shit out of you.
That's going to be why I workfor myself now, because I

(38:59):
wouldn't let myself have a binky.
No, because I would slap theshit out of an employee.
I'm not fit for humanconsumption anymore.
Okay, I've served my time ofrunning and managing groups of
people.
Not anymore.
Man, I can't be trusted.
I'm not allowed to have a crewof employees.

(39:19):
Not anymore, because clearly Icouldn't contain my true
feelings and that would get meinto some trouble.
So I want to put things intoperspective.
We have so-called adults outthere buying binkies to get
through the workday, layingaround at home tugging on a

(39:42):
binky, scrolling on their phone,and then we have my young
friend, isaiah, out thereworking his ass off.
Friend Isaiah out there workinghis ass off.
And here is a great Isaiahstory for you.
Yesterday I go down and I openthe tent at 12 o'clock, about an
hour early.
I open the tent it issweltering, it is over 90

(40:15):
degrees, feels like 2 million.
Okay, we might as well beselling t-shirts in afghanistan,
because it is insanely hot andincredibly dusty.
Now, about one o'clock ish, Iwant to say isaiah reports for
duty, comes into the uh tent tohang out.
He's got his cowboy hat on andhis emt bag with him, drops the
emt bag in the corner and, um,you know, he goes out and is
chatting people up and walkingaround and hanging out and um,

(40:36):
mind you, he just worked fromone in the morning till nine in
the morning.
And um, next thing, you know,he comes into the tent and a
family comes into the tent andthere's a young boy with him.
Maybe, I don't know, five orsix or so.
I'm still not good with age.
Maybe I don't know five or sixor so I'm still not good with
age and he's got blood runningall down his arm and apparently

(40:56):
the guy had a good size scab.
He ripped it off and he wasbleeding everywhere.
But the kid was in a panic likehe thought he was dying.
Isaiah brought him into thetent, took out the EMT bag, put
on the rubber gloves, cleanedthe little guy up, talked him
through it, bandaged him up andsent him on his way.
So he was outside talking tosome other vendors, saw the kid

(41:18):
go by and took care of thesituation.
Don't really expect that froman 18-year-old kid these days,
not when I tell you a storyabout kids sucking on bankies,
am I right?
Well, fast forward to the end ofthe night and this is when
things get interesting.
Sun's going down, demolitionderby's happening behind the

(41:43):
tent starts at seven o'clock.
I'm over at Underdog Metal'stent talking to Julia and we're
all kind of in this littlecorral where we can see each
other's booths so we help eachother out.
I'm over there talking to herand I see this
boyfriend-girlfriend scenarioSkinny kid coming across the lot
, probably late teens, early 20slooks white as a ghost and he's

(42:04):
holding his hand.
He has his hand balled up andshe's keeping him balanced.
And I look and he's got bloodrunning out of the bottom of his
hand.
I could tell he definitely cuthimself.
I can't tell at this point howbad the scenario is, but judging
by the look on his face, itactually looks pretty damn bad.
So Isaiah's over at the pretzel,stand down the way and I see

(42:24):
this couple coming towards meand they're trying to find
somebody and they're in a panic.
And I said that fellow rightthere in the red t-shirt and the
cowboy hat can help you.
And then I can assess howfrightened this couple is.
So I yell across thefairgrounds, Isaiah, and he
looks over at me and I was likeneed to help this fellow.

(42:45):
And he comes running over tothe guy and then sees the amount
of blood loss and the massivegash in his hand and he runs to
the tent to grab the EMT bag.
And we have a quickconversation in passing that
results in yeah, I need to goget somebody.
Like I need to find a medic aswell, because this is going to

(43:07):
go beyond what he needs tohandle right now.
So he grabs the bag, he runsover to take care of him and I
said I'm going to go find one ofthese sheriffs.
Now I say I'm going to go findone of these sheriffs because
there's multiple sheriffswalking around here during the
course of the day.
That's one of the best thingsabout this fair.

(43:28):
You can clearly see thatthey're prepared.
There is multiple sheriffs.
I'm willing to bet and I say 17or so as an exaggeration but I
feel like at all times there'ssix or eight sheriffs that are
working.
They're always traveling ingroups of two.
I've seen multiple differentsheriffs on duty, so I assume

(43:49):
that there's a very highlikelihood as soon as I turn the
corner, I'm going to run intoone.
The fair is not that big and Isee them like all day long.
So my thought process is I'mgoing to run over and find a
sheriff, get them to respond tothis and they can call an
ambulance if they need to.
They can handle the scenario,but let's get them on scene

(44:12):
assisting Isaiah and get thistaken care of.
And uh, at this point myassumption is like my phone's in
my tent, I'm not at my vendortent and, um, I feel like it's
going to be quicker for me toliterally just go find a sheriff
than it is for me to make anykind of phone call.
So I go off in one directionand Julia goes over to help

(44:34):
Isaiah and then apparently shetakes off in another direction
to find some sheriffs.
When she encounters sheriffs,they argue with her about
finding an ambulance, which Imean not helpful, am I right?
So I start walking or jogging, Iguess you shall say, and I'm

(44:55):
looking and I can't find asheriff, and I can't believe it.
Like, how is there no sheriffover here?
Because I need to find one.
And I keep going and going andgoing, and then I said to myself
self they'll be at the beertent.
So I run over to the beer tentarea.
I look nobody there, no copsthere.
I remember Kyle telling me thatthere was cops down on the
other end of the grandstands,which is at the very end of the

(45:16):
fairgrounds.
I start huffing over there,thinking they got to be over
there, maybe patrolling for thederby.
Then, at the very end of thefair, I see an ambulance.
So I start running.
Did you hear me?
I'm running?
Okay, not cool bro.
Hear me, I'm running.

(45:37):
Okay, not cool bro.
I just painted a picture ofAfghanistan and here I am
running.
This isn't safe.
Not safe for me, not safe forcivilians, in my way, okay, we
don't need two medicalemergencies here.
I run up to the ambulance, getto the doorway and this
individual is coming out Firstoff.
When you see a 300 plus poundman running up to the ambulance,
get to the doorway and thisindividual is coming out First
off.
When you see a 300 plus poundman running up to the ambulance
and tells you there's anemergency, that someone has been

(46:00):
cut, they've lost a lot ofblood and they've passed out,
you should take that serious.
Okay, that wasn't really thecase and I'm going to say
something controversial here,but it's factual here and when I
say this I'm going to try to beas PC as possible about this.
A transgender individual was theperson in the emergency truck,

(46:24):
okay, and I just honestlythought it was a guy.
I thought this person was a guy, honestly thought it was a guy.
I thought this person was a guy.
And then I you know, throughoutthis entire process, I noticed
that maybe some hormonal thingshad been taken and I noticed
that the name of said individualwas Sophia and then I kind of

(46:48):
made the connection.
I didn't really make this fullconnection until the end.
But I guess you could say maybethis doesn't have any
importance on the story, but Ikind of feel like it does,
because this was a verypiss-poor, embarrassing
interaction with firstresponders and I'm frustrated by

(47:13):
it.
I'm still frustrated by itbecause I go to the truck and I
tell them what's going on andthis person is not taking me
serious.
They're just looking around forstuff and I was like I'm sorry,
what happened?
There's maybe a late teenageindividual cut himself, he has
lost a lot of blood and he'sdown here at the other end of

(47:33):
the fairgrounds and he passedout, okay, and they're looking
around and I said you know, Ihad a friend with me who is EMT
certified and or has EMTtraining and he had an emergency
kit with him and he's helpinghim right now.
But this young fellow needshelp.

(47:54):
He definitely needs help.
This person procrastinates andtakes so long looking around for
things.
I was running, okay, I wasrunning, and we are a long ways
away and I literally said tothem it's a pretty good distance
away.
You might want to drive there,you might want to hurry up and
get down there and nope, not thecase, right?
So this individual I believe itwas Sophia was the name comes

(48:19):
out of the truck, starts walkingwith me and then goes, oh, I
should get my gloves, yep, youmight want those.
Goes back to the truck, getsgloves, then comes out and we
start walking further and thensays, oh, I should grab a radio.
And then turns around, gets aradio, like has to go back to
the ambulance to get the radioand then explain to um their

(48:42):
boss what's going on.
And I assume it's their boss,because this person is reporting
back to them and that one seemsto be carrying on like they
have a clue.
And this individual says tothem like this is what's going
on.
And I said, yeah, he's got apretty deep cut, he's losing a
lot of blood and passed out.

(49:03):
I'm sorry what he's passed out?
Yes, he's passed out.
How many times do I have to saythis?
So we start going and then thisperson starts questioning me
Okay, so was the individualresponsive when you left?
No, no, he wasn't.
My friend is helping him rightnow.
Was he responsive?
No, his eyeballs were behindhis head.

(49:24):
I looked back at him and he wasout cold.
Then they start to pick up thepace, or Sophia starts to pick
up the pace slightly.
I'm still miles ahead and I'mslowing down Like come on, let's
go.
At this point Sophia begins tocounsel me.
So for future reference, itwould be better if you just
called 911.

(49:44):
Listen, I'm at a fair and I'mnot near my phone and I honestly
thought it'd be quicker for meto find one of the 17 sheriffs
or one of the multipleambulances that are always at
this fair.
I just assumed that'd bequicker than me trying to call
911 and then them trying todispatch me over to somebody to

(50:05):
just explain to them where I am,for me to say pretzel stand,
listen, I just thought it'd be alot quicker.
It's not my fault, I couldn'tfind a sheriff.
And it's the Derby.
There's always ambulances overhere, so get off of me.
First off, why are youcounseling me?
Why are you trying to talk downto me?
Instead you should be like hey,thanks for coming to get us.

(50:25):
My apologies for not takingthis serious.
As we're going, there is otherfair goers, other patrons that
are saying to the EMT down hereon the corner, down here on the
corner, over here on the right,just a little bit further.
They all knew this was serious.
So as we get up to the scene.

(50:47):
I go directly to the scene whereIsaiah is and I look and Sophia
is heading in the other way andI'm like over here.
Go directly to the scene whereIsaiah is and I look and Sophia
is heading in the other way andI'm like over here.
Oh no, no, this person's on theradio trying to make sure that
the ambulance can make itthrough.
How about you go over to theactual person that is
unconscious in the dirt at thefair?
Well, when I get over to thescene, this young fella is alert

(51:09):
and Isaiah has his woundcleaned up to the best of his
ability.
He has the bleeding stopped andhis hand is wrapped in gauze
and he's keeping him alert andhaving conversations with him.
I guess I didn't need to goanywhere because he handled it
right.
This EMT first responder.

(51:33):
Not only did they try todiscipline me for doing what I
assumed to be the right thing,they now go into lecturing the
kid on the ground.
Well, first off, it's like whatdid you do?
And he's, you know, tellingthem.
And they're being sarcastic tothe sense of like.
Telling him, and they're beingsarcastic to the sense of like.
Well, I guess I'll just takethis off and see.

(51:54):
And they begin to question anddiscipline the dude that was
unconscious on the ground.
Sofia says what happened?
This happened in the derby, yep, happened with my derby car.
You do know there's anambulance inside the, inside the
.
You know fairgrounds over thereby the, by the derby, and why
would you lecture somebody thatwas just unconscious and didn't

(52:17):
know where he was?
He apparently wakes up, youknow, in that question and she's
like grilling him about it andhe says I was on this side of
the track, I was over here.
I later found out from anothervendor he was actually passed
out laying on the ground, outfrom another vendor.
He was actually passed outlaying on the ground, basically
behind my tent, and they got upand walked to the closest area
that had people that hadpopulation.

(52:39):
Why would an EMT literally talkdown to and discipline somebody
that has a major cut, a majorwound, so much blood loss and
pain that they passed out twotimes?
Come on, do better, be better.
Don't try to educate me whenI'm trying to help.

(53:01):
Don't try to educate somebodythat was a first responder doing
your job, helping out, and thendon't try to talk down to and
educate an individual that justwoke up from being unconscious
that's laying in the dirt.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Julia was holding his feet up,isaiah was wrapping him up and

(53:25):
your boy was running around thefairgrounds, only for a sorry
excuse of a first responder totalk down to discipline, to
lecture and to overall just makepeople feel like crap
Unbelievable.
I think maybe in this Littlescenario, sophia should invest

(53:46):
in a pacifier to sit in theambulance with and calm her
debts, because this was justridiculous.
The individual ended up leavingin the ambulance.
But I'm just sharing this storywith you because this is another
day in the life and times ofsomebody at a fairground, as a

(54:08):
small business owner at the fair.
But again it paints a realcontrasting picture between me
watching the news and hearingabout full grown ass adults
buying pacifiers to remindthemselves of their childhood,
to wash away their anxiety.

(54:28):
And then I have an 18-year-oldyoung man that literally jumps
in the face of fear at thispoint, because we have this
young man that is completelyfreaked out and scared and he's
passed out and he's bleedingeverywhere, and Isaiah jumps
into action and helps this youngman out, does more than the

(54:51):
first responders do, and then wehave these first responders
that are treating people likeshit for trying to help.
That's the contrasting world inwhich we live in.
That's the nonsense in which wedeal with.
I had to share that story withy'all.
I had to connect the dotsbetween the first segment and

(55:14):
the second one.
That story was too good not toshare, so I had to get it out
there.
But I've wanted to take you guyson the roller coaster ride that
is a small business owner onthe fair.
Because if you listen to theenthusiasm and the excitement of
me in the first part of theshow talking about, hey,

(55:35):
tonight's going to be a goodnight.
There's a demolition derby, Ithink today's going to be a
really good day for me.
Hearing that excitement in myvoice, me also telling you hey,
I'm definitely going to be backhere next year.
You're riding that positivewave with your boy.
Okay, I run down to the fair, Iopen an hour early and I sit
there for four and a half hoursbefore I make my first sale,

(56:03):
four and a half hours before Imake my first sale.
We closed a little bit early.
We closed at, I want to say,10-ish, maybe 10.30 by the time
I started closing and comingback, which is about a half an
hour early, but the fairactually shut down, maybe even
an hour early.

(56:24):
But I just kind of sat aroundhoping that people would walk
from um, like whatever they weredoing, to the cars out the exit
.
Maybe they would stop and buyfor me, and that, uh, didn't
really happen.
So you know, there's that, yeah.
So, um, let's just say this Iopened at 12.

(56:47):
I was closed around 10, 10.30.
So let's say, you know, nice10-hour workday and I made $120.
Yeah, $120.

(57:08):
While we're chatting, I'mactually going to open my phone
here and I'm going to check mybusiness app and I can actually
see the course of my day.
My first sale didn't happenuntil 4.21 in the afternoon
after opening up at 12, right.
I then didn't have another saleuntil almost 8 o'clock, so

(57:33):
another three hours.
So you go four plus hours firstsale, another three hours
before your next sale, and thenI had a sale 30 minutes later
and then one 40 minutes later.
My last sale was at 9 o'clockat night.
I had four sales over thecourse of the entire friggin'

(57:53):
day for $120 effin' dollars.
That's not good, as I just statethe obvious.
That's certainly not good whenyou really start to add

(58:14):
everything up, right, and youlook at the fact that my little,
beautiful, amazing 11-month-oldbaby girl is at home without
her daddy.
I'm inconveniencing all thesefamily and friends.
If you listen to the firstsegment, we talk about all the
people that went out of theirway to do something to help me
be here.

(58:35):
All those people are beinginconvenienced.
All those people are doing whatthey can to help me and my
family for me to be here and I'mrewarding them by making $120
and 10 plus hours of work.
I leave my wife and my baby andmy mother and I inconvenience

(58:56):
them and my friends and myfamily to make $120.
Not good, not good, not good.
It Not good.
I've been open for five days andwhen I add those five days up I

(59:16):
pull them all together.
What I've done here in fivedays I expected to do in just
one Saturday here.
The last fair I did was a tinylittle hometown fair.
That means a lot to me.
It's because it's the fair thatI grew up going to as a kid
Osprey Valley Fair.
It is a small fair, like areally small fair.

(59:39):
I don't know the expectedattendance at that fair maybe
8,000, 10,000 people.
I do believe this fair that I'mat expects like 60,000 people
In four days at that little townfair.
I've whooped the ass of mebeing here for five days now In

(01:00:05):
five days.
Here I'm not even close to whatI did there in four days.
This is an incredibledisappointment.
I'm not giving up.
I'm not giving up.
It's hot as all get out.
As I've explained multiple timesover and over and over, I'm
going to consider that part ofthe problem.

(01:00:26):
I'm not going to say that's theonly problem over.
I'm going to consider that partof the problem.
I'm not going to say that's theonly problem.
And you have to sit back andanalyze what you have and what
you're doing and how you'redoing it.
And you look around ateverything else and, as a
business owner, you beatyourself up.
But you work yourself throughit right.
You go through it, you growthrough it, you try to figure it
out and you try to pullyourself through it.
So that whole learning process,everything's happening right

(01:00:47):
and I'm observing and I'm doingeverything I possibly can and
I'm brainstorming and I'mworking things out and I'm
trying to talk myself intoremaining positive, because if
you're sitting around like abump on a log and you're
negative, you're only going toget negative results.
So I'm trying to remainpositive.
And I'm looking at it and Iunderstand that today's going to
be a challenge.
It's mid-90s today.
Today's going to be a challenge.

(01:01:07):
It's mid-90s today.
Today's going to be a challenge, tomorrow's going to be a
challenge, but maybe by Thursdaythings really start to change.
Maybe Friday night demo derbywe hit things in a major fashion
.
Maybe on Saturday, the last dayof the fair, we really
capitalize.
Maybe this somehow gets blownout of the water by a couple
amazing days, somehow gets blownout of the water by a couple of

(01:01:30):
amazing days.
But if those amazing days donot come, then this was all for
nothing.
That's the challenge.
That's the struggle of a smallbusiness owner that is living
and dying by attendance at afair, that is living and dying

(01:01:53):
by the dependence on peopleopening their wallets.
This is not easy for anybodyout there that says, yeah, I can
do that, give it a shot.
A lot of you can, a lot ofpeople can't.
It's not easy.
It is not easy to remainpositive and I am glad that I

(01:02:15):
recorded this podcast the way Idid that.
I took a break and I came back.
Number one we gained an amazingstory out of it.
But number two, you get toexperience the highs and the
lows that goes into doing what Ido.
You get full experience of,like the mental gymnastics that
goes into what's going on for meas a business owner.

(01:02:37):
Now, I'm not one to end shows onnegative notes, so I want to
put one positive spin on thisand to do that really quickly.
I'm going to outline some ofthe difficulty that went into me
being here and the difficultythat plays out for what's ahead
of me real quick, withoutgetting into too much details,

(01:03:01):
for me to be here at this fair.
I'm going to be honest.
I borrowed money to be here.
I borrowed money from my motherto actually pay my fees to get
here and I need to give her thatmoney back and that's not
something that's easy to say fora grown ass man that's trying
to fight for his business tostay alive.

(01:03:22):
The next thing I'm going totell you is I needed to make
certain amounts of money eachday to make payments that were
coming due.
The next thing is by Tuesday,which is when I'm finishing this
recording, I need to have Xamount of money to actually

(01:03:45):
order designs that I've made orthat I need to restock, so I
actually have enough designs toreplenish stock to go to windsor
fair, which is one of my biggerevents of the year.
That needs to happen today,that needs to go through today,
or that they won't be at myhouse in time.
The next part of this equationis I need to make enough money

(01:04:09):
by, let's say, thursday, toorder the apparel that goes with
those designs for those thingsto be at my doorstep when I get
home.
Because when I leave here on aSunday, by Monday I need to be
working on stock for the WindsorFair, because then I need to be
reporting to Windsor Wednesdayor Thursday to start building my

(01:04:31):
display for the next fair andfrom there I need to have enough
inventory to capitalize on thatfair.
And right now I'm not sittingon the right mix of things that
I need for that fair.
I'm low on sweatshirts andstuff and when it's this hot out
that's not that big of a deal.
But you know, in a couple ofweeks it will be.
That's how things work in Maineand I need those things because

(01:04:51):
they're some of my my biggestsellers.
So I have all these movingparts that are going on.
I also have large amounts ofmoney that needs to be dished
out for me to go to my largestevent of the year.
I need to purchase another tent, another display, which is
going to run me another 2,500bucks or so my entry fee into

(01:05:15):
that fair.
I still have thousands ofdollars to pay towards that.
It should have been paid by now.
All these things go in the backof my mind, right?
And when you're thinking aboutthose things and you're saying,
okay, I need this amount ofthousands of dollars to be ready
for this next event and I wouldroll out of that event in a
couple of days and then go backto New York and then I would be

(01:05:36):
home for a couple of weekstrying to get ready for my
biggest event, which is going torequire $20,000 more of product
.
I need $5,000 or $6,000 justfor fees and display stuff.
You start thinking about allthese things and in the middle
of that you're like $1,500 forthis.
You know I need $1,500 for mymortgage, I need this much for

(01:05:57):
my tractor, this much for this,this much for that insurance.
Yada, yada, yada, yada.
You start thinking, you startlaying all these things out and
you sit around and you wait fivehours with no sales and then
you spend 10 hours and you make$120.
The mental discipline it takesto not lose your ever-loving

(01:06:20):
mind is one of the mostchallenging things I've ever had
to experience.
I know some of you right noware listening and you're saying
to yourself I thought this sonof a bitch said he was going to
end on a positive note.
None of this sounds positive.
It sounds rather depressing.
What I can tell you that ispositive.
What I can tell you that is amiracle.

(01:06:44):
What I can tell you that is aplan, that is all part of the
plan.
As I was in my camper gettingready to go to work and I had
the news on and when the newsstopped it went into a church
service and the church servicestarted playing as I was putting

(01:07:05):
the last, finishing, you knowthings together to get ready to
go to work.
I sat down for a minute and Iwas watching this part of the
service and my phone goes offand I looked down at my watch
because my phone's across theroom and I saw the email

(01:07:25):
populate on my watch and Iclicked on it.
Phones across the room and Isaw the email populate on my
watch and I clicked on it and itwas my credit card processing
company telling me, bing, youhave a loan offer.

(01:07:46):
I often take loans against mycredit card processing company
and what happens is, when you'reselling things on credit cards,
it takes a bigger percentage ofthem to pay the loan back, and
I've used it to get through sometough times, but I still have
an open, active loan with them.
I'm still paying some back tothem.
I've paid almost 80% back.

(01:08:07):
So I'm back to them.
I've paid almost 80% back, andthey ding me and tell me here's
some more money Now.
I waited, thinking that I couldmake even more credit card
sales, maybe my loan wouldincrease, but that didn't happen
.

(01:08:30):
But what I'm here to say isthere's enough in there for me
to get ready to go to the nextfair, to pull me through these
dark times, to get me throughanother time of great struggle.
Can you all understand that?
Can you feel that?

(01:08:54):
Can you process that?
I just painted you a very smallpicture of what's going on in
my world.
I just painted you a very smallpicture of the struggle in my
life.
I'm blessed by the people in mylife that have come out of
nowhere to help me, to pull methrough, to drag me through, to

(01:09:16):
push me through.
I have many more stories I canshare.
It takes more than a village toget there.
I painted you a small pictureof the struggle in my life, of
the worry in my heart.
If you start connecting episodeafter episode after episode,
you've heard me say weeks agogive it to God.
You get to a point in lifewhere you just have to give it
to God.
And I know there's peoplelistening right now that maybe

(01:09:40):
they don't believe.
There's people listening rightnow that said, keith man, I come
here for practical advice.
I don't come here for spiritualwisdom.
And I tell you give it to God,man, even when you have the most
doubt, when you feel the mostchallenged, when you feel the

(01:10:01):
most down and out, give it toGod.
You have to, you have to, youhave to In this world.
If you don't have belief, thenit makes this world almost
impossible to complete.
And the divine timing is notlost on me.

(01:10:24):
I'm at my wit's end.
Y'all can imagine what's goingthrough my head.
Right, I am thousands uponthousands of dollars in debt.
I've created a crazy amount ofdebt for my business and for my
personal life.

(01:10:44):
Because I believe in what I'mdoing, because I see where this
is going to go.
I am in the middle of thegreatest challenge my business
has ever had and I continue toconvince myself, on the other
side of this, great challenge isgreat triumph.
I continue to convince myselfthat this is a test for myself

(01:11:06):
to see if I'm determined, tofind out how committed I am to
my cause.
These are challenges, these areobstacles.
These are placed in front of meto challenge me, to question me
, to ask me how bad do you wantit?
Are you serious about it?
But please understand the greatdifficulty that comes with
being by yourself on the roadaway from your beautiful baby

(01:11:30):
girl and your beautiful wife andyour mother and your family and
your friends.
And you're failing and you'refailing.
And you're waking up everysingle day and you're brushing
your teeth and you're looking atyourself in the mirror and
you're saying today is the day.
God help me today.
Today shall be the day I willget to where I need to be today.
And you go out there and it's ahundred degrees and you sit
there in the blistering sun andyou sweat your ass off and you

(01:11:53):
fight, and you fight and youfight and you try to remain as
positive as you possibly can befor each person that comes in
that tent because that might beyour only opportunity.
And at the end of the day youmake a hundred dollars and you
go back to your camper and youdust yourself off and you wake
up and you try again.
And every day you battle thedemon in your head that tells

(01:12:16):
you just give up.
You battle that demon that saysjust give up, be the
responsible person for yourfamily.
And on the other side of thatis the prideful son of a bitch
that says don't you dare turnback now.
You've invested your life inthis.
You know what this is going toprovide to your family and where

(01:12:37):
this is going for your family.
Don't you dare give up.
So when you fight those demonsand those angels and you say,
god, I don't know what else todo.
I need help, I need a sign fromyou.
And you're watching Fox Newsand it flips over to church and

(01:13:05):
you sit your ass down Just intime for your watch to tell you
here's a loan, keep on going.
I've run the risk of making myshow too spiritual.

(01:13:29):
I've hidden from talking aboutGod too much on this show, but
I've got to the point in my lifewhere it's all that's left.
We don't know what we arecapable of in this life until we

(01:14:02):
put ourselves in positions ofgreat challenge, and I have
certainly done that and I amcertainly learning what I am
capable of.
But it is not lost on me that Iam not capable of any of this

(01:14:24):
Without my Lord and Savior,jesus Christ.
God, I thank you for grantingme this day.
I thank you for granting methis day, god.
I thank you for granting methis opportunity.
God, I thank you each and everyday for my beautiful family and
I will not give up and I willgive all glory to you.

(01:14:47):
Today, I hope and pray thateach and every one of you take
time to have a relationship withGod.
I hope and pray that today,each and every one of you take
your hardships and yourdifficulties and you give them
to God.
I understand this might not bethe best look for me.

(01:15:08):
I understand that me sharing mypain, my fear, my failures,
being in a camp or having abreakdown is probably not the
best look for me.
But I do this and I share thisBecause there's one thing I want

(01:15:31):
from this I want anybodylistening right now that has
never had a conversation withGod to understand the power that
comes from that conversation,the power and the strength that
comes from that belief and thatconversation.

(01:15:56):
I did not plan for tears today.
I did not think in any way,shape or form, that my episode
of this podcast would result inthis ending.
But this just isn't me talkingtoday.
It is my duty and my purposetoday to reach and connect and

(01:16:17):
touch somebody else today,because a favor was done for me
and I need to repay it by givingthe greatest favor to one of
you that's listening right now,that's going through it, that's
dragging yourself through it,that's pulling yourself through
it, that's struggling.
I need you to know that todayyou need to talk to God.

(01:16:39):
Make today your day.
Wow, this is as transparent andpossibly as embarrassing as it
can be for a 42-year-old man,but I hope you feel the absolute

(01:17:00):
best of intentions from me.
I love each and every one ofyou.
Thank you for supporting mypodcast.
That's it and that's all.
Biggie Smalls.

(01:17:27):
If you're a loud, proud Americanand you find yourself just
wanting more, find me on YouTubeand Facebook at loud, proud
American, or the face page, asmy mama calls it.
If you're a fan of the GrahamCracker, want to find me on
Instagram or all the kids bytickety-talking on the TikTok.
You can find me on both ofthose at loud underscore, proud

(01:17:52):
underscore, american.
A big old thank you to the boysfrom the Gut Truckers for the
background beats and the themesong for this year's podcast.
If you are enjoying what you'rehearing, you can track down the

(01:18:13):
Gut Truckers on Facebook.
Just search Gut Truckers.
Give them motherfuckers.
A like too.
I feel the pain.
Make it bleed.
I hate to say I told you so.

(01:18:36):
I feel the pain.
Make it bleed.
I truly thank you forsupporting my American dream.
Now go wash your fucking hands,you filthy savage.