Counting the Cost: A Bike Week Business Gamble 245

After our Daytona Bike Week adventure, we face the hard truth about whether the financial outcome justified the personal sacrifices made to attend the event. The tension between leaving family behind and achieving business results creates a powerful backdrop for exploring what "success" really means.

• Financial results fell short of expectations despite positive relationship-building
• Leaving a 5-month-old daughter behind created significant emotional struggle
• Being positioned off the main path dramatically reduced foot traffic
• Conversations with veteran vendors revealed this was an unusually slow Bike Week
• Event organizers were also struggling, firing staff and making changes mid-week
• Eagle sightings at key moments provided spiritual reassurance and connection to late father
• Breaking even financially but gaining valuable experience for future events
• Maintaining courage (the year's guiding word) meant pushing through despite challenges

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Last week on Share the Struggle podcast, we
recapped Daytona Bike Week forLoud Proud American.
We placed a major focus on themost important part for me the
people.
But the truth is it has to comedown to dollars and cents.
If you don't make enough, thenthe sacrifice doesn't make sense

(00:24):
.
Enough, then the sacrificedoesn't make sense.
So today on Share the Strugglepodcast, we dig into dollars and
cents and we discover if thisall makes sense.
Let me tell you somethingEverybody struggles.
The difference is some peoplechoose to go through through it
and some choose to grow throughit.

(00:44):
The choice is completely yours.
Which one you choose will havea very profound effect on the
way you live your life.
If you find strength in thestruggle, then this podcast is
for you.
Do you have a relationship thatis comfortable with

(01:06):
uncomfortable conversations?
Uncomfortable conversationschallenge you, humble you and
they build you.
When you sprinkle a little timeand distance on it, it all
makes sense.
Most disagreements they stemfrom our own insecurities.
You are right where you need tobe Back on time.

(01:30):
We can back off the whole daygone, but we're behind.
What in the world has been?
What in the heart did it do?
Good Lord, almighty, am I soexcited to be back with you.

(01:51):
Oh, it's true.
It is damn true.
How do you do?
I miss you, boo?
Welcome back to the podcast thatis proudly sponsored by, hosted
by, represented by loud proudamerican, that proudly made in

(02:12):
usa apparel that I put on dayafter day, and I beg of you to
do it the same way.
Sorry, get on my high horsethere, but this podcast is
brought to you by Loud ProudAmerican, that apparel brand
that represents the Americanspirit, with an unrelenting
commitment to providing onlymade and American products.

(02:34):
The name of this here podcastis Share the Struggle, because
everybody struggles, and thisweek we are going to recap the
greatest struggle for Loud ProudAmerican the trip to Daytona,
daytona Bike Week, the absolutemost out of the comfort zone

(02:54):
challenge that this brand hasever taken Leaving my wife and
my baby and my mama and myfamily and everybody behind,
which I'm going to tell youright now, before we really get
into the dollars and cents tosee if it all makes sense,
because that's what we're hereto talk about today.
One of the toughest things todo was to leave my child behind,

(03:15):
and I had multipleconversations with Brian during
the week about leaving my childbehind, about leaving my child
behind.
That's going to be a big focuson today's episode because, as I
reflect on the hard facts, as Ireflect on the results from the
bike week, that you just can'tput an emotional underlying

(03:41):
reasoning behind.
I know this sounds crazy, butallow me to elaborate here a
little bit.
When I had the recap last weekwhich thank you so much to so
many of you that reached out andsaid congratulations and
followed up on the episode andsaid, hey, man, that cliffhanger
has really got me cliffing andhanging over here I need to know
.
I need to know how things went.

(04:02):
How did it all go?
I appreciate each and every oneof you for those conversations
and reaching out and checking in.
The truth is, when we aretalking about dollars and cents,
there's no sugarcoating it.
I can't sprinkle emotion uponthe results.
When we look at last week'sepisode, I can dress it up

(04:24):
however I want.
My perception is my reality.
You've heard me say this many,many times before Perception is
reality.
However you perceive things tobe, it shall be, and for me, one
of the emphasis is always onpeople.
It's always on relationships.
Loud, proud, american.
For me is relationship retail.
It's not about a transaction.

(04:45):
It's not about one t-shirt,it's about all the t-shirts.
It's not just about the apparel, it's about the mission, it's
about the brand, it's about thetask at hand Relationship,
relationship, relationship.
I can justify so many decisionsI make based on the quality of
relationships that I make.
So I can sprinkle a whole lotof positivity on last week's

(05:05):
show.
I can sprinkle a whole lot ofpositivity on all the amazing
things that happened by going toDaytona, if I just start to
peel back the onion a little bitand I think about those things.
Number one, being accompaniedby a brother of mine, brian
Parmelo, and his boy, zach, themdoing a father-son trip, the

(05:27):
fact that I am just over a yearoff of losing my dad, and I'm
thinking about how much I wouldhave cherished making that
memory.
I think about the times thatI'm driving through the night by
myself, when the boys aretaking a nap, when it's my turn
to roll the wheel, and I'mthinking about my dad and my
choices.

(05:48):
Those things, those experiences.
That's a positive sprinkle.
I can sprinkle that positivityall over my little donut here,
the relationships that I've made, the connections that I made,
daniel Johnson, I can sprinkle awhole ton of sprinkles on my
little donut, thinking about therelationships and the
opportunities and thepossibility of making that

(06:09):
friendship, that brotherhood,when I think about all the
people that I've met, thoseconnections that we've made.
We did a great job in thecourse of a week of establishing
ourselves as regulars, betweenBrian Zach and Dirk and myself,
going out, meeting bartenders,becoming friends with Abby and
her, introducing us to otherpivotal people that are involved

(06:33):
in the local scene in that area.
Thinking about those things,those connections, those
relationships that could paymajor dividends for us if we
decide to go back.
Those are all positivesprinkles.
Major dividends for us if wedecide to go back.
Those are all positivesprinkles.
I can sprinkle the shit out ofpositivity, but the truth is the
reality is dollars and centsand if you don't make enough of

(06:54):
either, then it just doesn'tmake sense.
You need to make enough dollars, you need to make enough cents.
As I referenced, leaving littlePaisley Rain behind.
That's one of the mostchallenging things about this
entire experience, for more thanone reason.
Number one leaving my littlegirl behind, when, if you've
been listening in, then you knowthat I've become like daddy

(07:19):
daycare during the week.
It's my time to spend with mylittle girl.
During the week it's my time tospend with my little girl.
So since leaving Freiburg Fair,I spend every single day with
my little girl.
To be gone for a couple ofweeks isn't easy.
To be gone for a couple ofweeks and not turning the
results that you want.
When the results don't outweighthe sacrifice, some major head

(07:44):
games begin to happen.
I myself consider myself aveteran of this game.
I consider myself a veteran ofthe vendor lifestyle.
My wife likes to call it acarny lifestyle that we have to
live.
In.
The beginning I would ridethese highs and lows like you
could only imagine right.
Would ride these highs and lowslike you could only imagine
right.
If you would start an event offwith two negative days.

(08:08):
I could let that tail spin mein so many ways.
But I have trained myself, Ihave learned lessons the hard
way and I can now consider andcall myself a veteran of this
lifestyle.
I can figure it out, I can ridethe lows and I can just
capitalize on the highs.
So I've begun to become reallyequipped at talking myself off a

(08:33):
ledge at all times.
This particular adventurehappened to ramp up the amount
of difficulty because it's thefirst time that I've really left
home without my family.
Now, as hard as it is to leaveyour wife and go do these things

(08:53):
, leaving your wife and yourfive-month-old, who just happens
to turn six months old whileyou're on the road, it really
just ramps up the difficulty ofbeing away from home.
So if things aren't going theway you want them to go, it
becomes even more of a challengeto keep yourself away from

(09:16):
those negative thoughts.
But I do truly feel like I wasdoing the best I can because I
knew, no matter how great thesuccess, it needed to be a
triumphant result for me toreally be okay with leaving my
family behind.
Let's be honest, I'm not ascumbag, okay, so I'm not trying

(09:36):
to leave my family behind andjust book a vacation to uh, you
know, just dick off.
Okay, so I'm not a scumbag.
The results have to betremendous for me to be like oh
yeah, no problems here, becausethere's always going to be a
problem, there's always adifficulty in leaving your
family behind.
But doing it for the very firsttime, sprinkling on the distance

(09:57):
being the greatest distanceI've ever traveled for the
business, all those things layerinto a big donut of sensitivity
.
So I have this sensitivitydonut we're talking about.
I must be craving donuts.
That was wrong of me.
I have a sensitivity donut thatI'm sprinkling positivity
sprinkles all over and that'show I'm going to sum up bike

(10:18):
week.
Okay, you're going to leave thestate of Maine on your big,
just old-fashioned sensitivedonut and as you start adding
and stacking victories andencounters and relationships and
all these positives, you'restarting to sprinkle your
positive sprinkles on yoursensitive donut.

(10:39):
Okay, that's me in a diabeticnutshell.
I don't know why my fat ass iscraving a donut.
I don't even think this isabout donuts, but I'm just using
something I can relate to andapparently that is a donut.
And here I am finding myselframbling and you might already
tell that I might have spilledthe beans here a little bit,
because why in the ever-lovinghell would I start off talking

(11:03):
about missing my child andpositive sprinkles and a gosh
darn donut if I crushed bikeweek?
Well, this is not thecliffhanger that I was trying to
set up for today's show, butthe truth of the matter is it
didn't go the way I hoped itwould go.

(11:24):
Matter is it didn't go the wayI hoped it would go Now, when I
set out to do one of theselittle journeys or any event for
that matter, I set a level ofgoals.
I have a range of goals thatI'll forecast for myself and it
basically kind of sets up likean expectation and then like

(11:46):
your hopes and your aspirations.
So when I'm going out there,for anything I do, I will try to
set a break-even number.
Hey, we have to achieve this.
Once we cross this number, thenwe're starting to make money.
I always set that.
I set a realistic goal formyself that, hey, this is what
you should expect, this is whereyou would like to be.

(12:08):
I have an increase above that alittle bit.
That kind of makes me a littlebit happier.
And then I have the ever-lovinghome run.
And when you are robbing Peterto pay Paul and you're
maneuvering and doing all thesecrazy cost-cutting things and
pulling all these last-minutedeals to fund a trip, when

(12:29):
you're doing all these thingsand banking on the success of a
trip, when you put theexpectation in your head that
this trip could save yourbusiness and your brand, that
right there builds kind of anunrealistic home run goal.
That I'm not going to drag outtoday's episode and lead y'all

(12:54):
on.
I am not here to lead y'all on,I'm not trying to get you to
buy me dinner, to wine me anddine me.
No, no, no, I didn't hit thatnumber y'all.
When it comes right down to it,this venture, when it comes
down to dollars and cents,unfortunately didn't make enough
dollars and cents to consideritself a home run.

(13:16):
It didn't save the business.
It didn't launch us off for themost amazing, tremendous 2025.
It didn't do all the things Ineeded to just keep the business
alive.
Those things didn't happen.
Those things did not happen.
The truth is that we didn'tlose money, but we didn't set

(13:39):
any tremendous goals.
As I'm talking about thissensitive donut and I'm
factoring in hard-hittingresults, I always think about
those positive sprinkles, thoserelationships and those things
and those opportunities thathappened.
But I need to make decisionsbased off of results, and the

(14:01):
results weren't as successful asI had hoped for.
And, to be honest, if I were tojust make a business decision
off of numbers and numbers alone, if I was handed a spreadsheet
before this event and I wasgiven the opportunity to read

(14:22):
all the numbers and say, hey,you're going to leave your
family for over two weeks andyou're asking some close friends
of yours to leave their familyfor over a couple of weeks, and
this is your cost to play andthis is your final end result
for doing so.
If I looked on those numbers,and those numbers alone, and I

(14:43):
made my final decision, I wouldhave stayed home.
I would have stayed home.
It didn't equal out to all thatI wanted it to be, but if you've
been listening along, reallyeven just so far this year,
you've heard me talk about theguiding words.

(15:04):
Right, the wife and I had agreat episode about picking and
discovering, identifying yourguiding word, which please go
back and listen to that.
I think that's a powerful thing, it's a powerful message and
it's one that I've truly beenusing to make decisions and, to
you know, honestly guide my life, to guide my decisions.
Hence the name of the freakingword, a guiding word For me this

(15:28):
year.
It's about being courageous.
It's about making thosesacrifices, and if I was not
picking my events, if I was notfinalizing my decisions in line
with my guiding word, then Iwould have stayed home.
But I couldn't start the yearoff identifying that mission for

(15:49):
me, that guiding light for me,that word for me of being
courageous, and then, literallytwo months in back off of the
most courageous thing I couldpossibly do for my business.
Then what was the time spent on?
What was all the research, thethought and the whole process?
It was all for nothing If Ispent all that time identifying

(16:13):
something to motivate me for theyear and then very quickly, two
months into the year, I don'tutilize that philosophy.
I need to stick to my guns.
As I said to you by looking atthe numbers, if I was just based
off of a spreadsheet I wouldn'thave went.
But the truth is, if I removethe spreadsheet, I'm glad that I
went.
It's a major accomplishment,it's a milestone moment for us.

(16:36):
We learn so damn much and Iknow I'm kind of just rambling
here and going out of tune.
I've got a whole list of thingshere and I'm not even remotely
in order of the way I wanted totalk about today.
But I guess that's what happenswhen you turn on a microphone
and you just speak your truth.
You just give the time to yourheart to vent and uncork your

(16:59):
emotions.
The results were not what Ihoped them to be.
The results were not what Ihoped them to be and if you
listened last week you heard metalk about the two days that we
spent with Lisa from BentleySaloon and her giving us a
masterclass in promotion and thepep talks and everything and
the conversations with her andBentley about how well we were

(17:19):
going to do.
It was tough for me to admit toLisa that, hey, this really
didn't turn out financially likeI hoped it would.
And we had a great conversationat the end of bike week and she
said I need you to giveyourself some credit.
You've been in business forfive years.
In five years in business youjust put your brand on the map
in Daytona bike week.

(17:41):
People now know who you are.
At bike week we went out fordays meeting and greeting,
shaking hands or introducingourselves, putting information
out there, and when I thinkabout the hundreds of people
that now have loud, proudamerican merchandise on their
backs, in their suitcase, intheir closet, that's a

(18:04):
difference, that that's whatit's all about.
So to hear from Lisa and hersaying you got to give yourself
some grace here, man.
You've only been in businessfor five years and you just
tackled Daytona, that'ssomething that when you start
this business, when you startbuilding this brand, you kind of
write down a list of placesyou'd like to go, things you'd

(18:25):
like to achieve, and that's oneof them, that's one of the most
difficult ones and we've crossedit off.
So I'm going to give myself andmy friends and my family an
extreme level of grace andrecognition for pulling this off
.
So truly, I'm thankful for that, for pulling this off.

(18:47):
So, um, truly, I'm, I'm, I'mthankful for that.
And you know, to kind of getthings back on track, when we
rolled in there you've heard metalk about the 26 hours in the
bus to get there, to make ithappen, and rolling in and
seeing our location and beingextremely excited about our
location and being excited aboutour vendor spot.
As the time would peel off theclock, we would realize that our
vendor spot wasn't that greatbecause we were kind of set off

(19:10):
on an island and people nooffense are lazy and they're
just going to walk and shop theperimeter, they're going to
follow the line, they're goingto walk the road, across the
street.
So when it comes down to theamount of people that were
showing up, we really weren'tseeing more than a fraction of
those people.
So, you know, just kind ofthinking about people's shopping

(19:34):
tendencies, the laziness of aconsumer sitting back and
watching it for a week, Irealized that our spot was
working against us.
Now, what I'm about to talkabout is not excuses.
These are factual things that Ineed to file away and consider
when making my decision as towhether to return next year.
So we're just going to be jivetalking a conversation here and

(19:56):
I'm going to peel back the oniona little bit for you to
understand how I think, read andreact to what just happened and
whether we should do it again.
So, being there and havingthese conversations me and Brian
analyzing, you know, the buyingtendencies of people we begin
to think listen, with adifferent location, even in the

(20:16):
area that we're in, justflipping us over to the other
side, you got to think it's a 15to 20 percent increase right
off the bat in business, becauseyou can just see the amount of
people that are that areshopping there.
But the key is not enoughpeople were leaving those, those
vendor locations, with bags.

(20:38):
There just wasn't enough peoplethat were leaving with bags in
general.
So I need to begin to thinkabout that.
While I'm sitting there, I'mlooking around and I'm analyzing
everything that's happening.
I'm watching all the purchasesthat take place around me and
I'm trying to identify why wouldsomebody buy there and not here
?
What do they have?
What do I have?
What do we not have?
Are they a similar customer?

(20:59):
Is it not my customer base atall?
I know the overall attendee atbike week is absolutely my
customer base at all.
I know the overall attendee atbike week is absolutely my
customer base.
But I'm analyzing based off thelocation, the person.
You know what they're wearing,what they're into, what they're
riding.
I'm building a portfolio in mymind all day long about a
consumer profile, about a targetcustomer, about what's right

(21:21):
for me and my brand.
Even when I'm sitting on my assor I'm in the sunshine drinking
a bush light, I am analyzingand I am calculating every
single move that happens.
So, as the week starts, fridayand Saturday were actually
pretty damn good.
They weren't incredible days.

(21:42):
But when I talk about myexpectation at even a large
event for day one, this wasreally right there, because your
first day at a lot of events,um, is is not one of your best
events or one of your bestresults, I should say and um,
our first day was pretty damngood.
And I told the boys like listen, I know your expectations

(22:05):
because for them, they're comingout with this, this crazy
theory in their mind becausethey're excited Right, and I
want them to be excited andthey're like dude, we're going
to sell out by Wednesday.
We're going to make, you know,40, 50 grand in a week.
Like I'm trying to be more of arealist on what's happening and
what's taking place and tryingto kind of guide each other

(22:25):
through that to really balanceeach other out.
I love their confidence and Ineed that to give me the fuel to
get out there and push.
But at the end of the day onFriday I said, fellas, I know
this doesn't seem right to youbut based off of what I've
always been through, this iskind of in line and I think
we're going to be fine.
This is going to really workout.
And then Saturday came andSaturday was another pretty good
day.
It was not what I hoped for fora Saturday, but I can say that

(22:51):
as the weekend wrapped up, Isaid you know what we're going
to be breaking even here prettydamn quickly.
And you know, when you're acouple of days in and you're
like OK, I've paid for this.
I've paid for my event fee, myregistration fee, my camping fee

(23:11):
, I've paid for my fuel to gethere, you start crossing things
off the list.
I'm working on my fuel to gethome, my tolls, any transaction
that's made I'm checking andcross -preferencing because I'm
away from my family.
I want to make sure that thismakes sense.
So with every transaction, I'mthinking I'm calculating when
I'm selling something.
I'm thinking I'm calculatingwhen I'm selling something.
I'm like, okay, man, that's atank of fuel right there.
This is going to get me onestate away right here.
All that shit is what happensin my mind.

(23:33):
So we started things off prettydecent Not tremendous, but
pretty decent and I'm tellingmyself, if you can get out of
the weekend and put yourself ina position where you're just
starting to make gravy, thenit's all going to be okay.
Well, unfortunately, that's whenthe barrel fell out of the
basket and we began to get realdamn slow.

(23:54):
The week was an absolutestruggle.
I must also say I was surprisedby how cold it was in Florida,
and I was told they moved bikeweek up by about a week and in
doing so it was just a coldertime of the year.
There was not as many peopleriding, that was for certain.
I'm thankful they moved it upbecause ironically, there's a

(24:15):
lot of hurricanes or tornadoesthat have been happening and
they started happening over theweekend and we would have had to
have either packed up duringthose or drove straight through
them.
So I'm absolutely blessed thatwe've avoided and missed that
whole scenario.
But I was beginning to feel likethis is slow, this has to be
slow.

(24:35):
Something doesn't feel right.
So I started asking around andother vendors started to tell me
yeah, man, this doesn't seemright for bike week.
This feels pretty damn slow.
So we started having thoseconversations and Bruce, who's a
vendor that recommended me tobe there he's kind of my voice
of reason.
We're having theseconversations and chatting about
things and as I'm talking tohim he says listen, don't start

(24:58):
to count or criticize or thinkabout anything to do with this
location until Wednesday.
If you make money Friday,saturday, sunday, monday,
tuesday then great, becauseyou're going to have an amazing
day on Wednesday.
When Wednesday hits, that's oneof the biggest days of the week.
Here.
They have events here.
They have short peoplewrestling okay, midget wrestling

(25:22):
Across the street.
They have a coleslaw wrestlingand it just brings all the
people out.
So Wednesday's the day, andthen on Saturday they do those
events all over again, and whenI was heading out there.
I thought it would be open onSunday, that Sunday would be a
good business day for us, butthe location that we're at, they
cancel all their events onSunday.
Everything happens throughSaturday, and then Sunday

(25:45):
morning they're tearing the barsdown.
There's no bands, there's noentertainment, there's no reason
for somebody to be there.
So on Sunday we're just packingand rolling.
So instantly I lost a daygetting there because I didn't
realize that's how they planthings out.
So we roll into Wednesday.
Unfortunately, we did okay onthe day, but it was not what we

(26:06):
hoped for, because it wastremendously windy.
We had some rain.
It always looked like it wasgoing to be shit weather.
I heard that downtown Daytonawas pretty bad, so folks weren't
really leaving that area and itjust didn't pan out.
We weren't pounded by rain, butthe threat of it kept people
away.
We weren't pounded by rain, butthe threat of it kept people
away, and the temperaturescertainly kept people away.

(26:28):
So it was an okay day, butnothing that we had set our
expectations on.
Now, as I mentioned, we madethese conversations across the
street, so we would walk acrossthe street to the Cabbage Patch,
which we realized was a muchmore successful location, and
one that we should consider forourselves next year if we go

(26:50):
back.
They just have their vendorslaid out much better, the
traffic flow is extremely betterand their entertainment is
tremendously better.
There's always something goingon and, to be honest, our
location had some awful music.
They did a really shitty job atbooking bands.
Many of them sounded evenremotely decent.

(27:12):
They weren't good enough tokeep people around.
People would hear them and justleave and go across the street.
So there was no real reason tostay at our actual location.
So we were working against thatas well.
But we went across the streetand we were chatting with Abby,
our friendly bartender overthere, and she's, you know,
checking in and giving us adviceand saying you know, how did

(27:33):
you guys do today?
What was it like across thestreet?
And I'm giving her the recapand she's like well, don't beat
yourself up because, uh, thiswas one of the worst cabbage, uh
, patch, cold slaw wrestlingWednesdays of all of our bike.
Weeks Like this is historicallybad.
So I filed that away as okay, alittle food for thought.

(27:55):
Thursday, friday, you knownothing great, friday was a
little bit more of an increase,but Thursday was pretty well
turd.
Saturday the last day of bikeweek was our best day.
It was our most successful day.
It was the first time that itreally felt like a bike week.

(28:17):
There was constant traffic,there was a good flow of people.
What I got to say is that Iworked tremendously hard on
every single sale on Saturday.
I'm not the type of person thatlikes to really pressure people
into buying things.
I try to just interact with you, give you a good experience,

(28:37):
try to make a connection.
If I'm friendly enough, Ialways have the philosophy that
people want to spend money orgive money to people they like.
I mean, it's really a conceptthat you know bartenders have
used forever, right?
If you find a friendlybartender, one that you like,
then you're going to try to goback to them.
And when you're out thereshopping at these type of events
and you find one vendor thatgives you a great experience,

(28:59):
then you're going to go back tothem.
If you find a musician that youenjoy, you're going to go back
to them and you're going to tellyour friends to go back to them
.
So when I'm in this type ofevent, that's my philosophy.
But on Saturday I said shit, man, I have a family to take care
of and I'm going to press asmuch as I can within reason, and
I engaged with every singleperson that came in my tent and

(29:22):
I put a sales pitch on everysingle person, which isn't
genuinely my style.
But I'm glad that I did itBecause, number one, it made me
do something that I did not wantto do, which stepping out of
your comfort zone, I think isalways a good thing.
But number two, it resulted inmy best day of the week and when
we started the day, we kind ofput a number out there and said,
fellas, let's hit this number.

(29:43):
This is what we got to do tosave some face on this journey,
and we did it.
We stayed open past 11 pm atnight.
We were open I want to say10.30 am, 11 am and we worked
till 11.15, 11.30 pm, waysaround there, and, uh, we did it

(30:07):
.
We made the best that wepossibly could.
We put a positive end on theweek.
I wanted to leave bike week ona positive.
You always want to end yourjourney on some on some hope.
You want a little shot ofhopium and uh, we got that.
We really, um, you know, endedthings on a positive note.

(30:27):
That made us think aboutpossibilities and the way things
could be, and that's the way Iwanted it to be.
I didn't want to leave on a sadnote, on a negative note,
something you had to think aboutthe whole way home.
You'd much rather drive 26hours with a full dose of hopium
to think about and we workedreally hard and pushed really
hard to get to that and we did,and I'm proud of that.
I'm thankful of that.

(30:48):
So the final result on the weekis not what we hoped it to be,
but it wasn't a loss and youknow, and we learned a lot and
we analyzed a lot of things.
And to get back onto some ofthose things, when we talk about
location and I mentioned to youthat, hey, if we're on the
perimeter here, we might do alittle bit better.
If we're across the street, ourrent's going to go up, but I

(31:12):
think we could do a little bitbetter Would across the street
be a 20, 25% bump, 30% bump?
I don't know.
You know what's the differencegoing to be when you think about
the cost of being at a, youknow, a little more expensive
location.
Does that get you a little morepositive results or do they
cross each other out.
So more things to think aboutour time across the street

(31:35):
watching, noticing that vendorscan stay open.
Later there was moreentertainment over there and
it's more of like a horseshoepattern.
So every vendor's getting walkby, walk through traffic.
So there's a lot of positivesto potentially going back and
picking a little bit differentlocation.
After touring all the placesthat we went, we realized that a

(31:58):
few things.
Number one the place that wewere at was the cheapest rent of
all the places that we couldhave been, and when you compare
it to the more expensive ones,then it was by a long shot it
was the least busiest of all theplaces we probably could have
gone.
It had some of the worstentertainment of all the places

(32:20):
we could have gone.
But being there, I think we areallowed to present ourselves as
one of the best vendors at ourlocation, and what I mean by
that is we stuck out asprofessional, we stuck out as
quality, and when you put us upagainst some other major

(32:40):
national brands, then theperception for the consumer
might be that we're a littlemore backwards, that we're not
quite to their level ofpresentation and professionalism
, because they've been inbusiness for a long time and
they have $200,000 setups.
And when I roll in there with a$10,000 setup and their setups

(33:04):
are a couple hundred thousanddollars, I'm not talking about
what's inside the tent, I'mtalking about like the actual
like tent and location.
So if I roll into a place andmy actual structure costs me
about 10 grand and there'speople there with a hundred
$200,000 displays, you'regetting washed out.
When I'm in a location where Ihave a $10,000 structure and

(33:28):
most of the other vendorsstructures are $500, you see the
picture I'm painting right.
So there's a lot that goes intothat.
When you start to think aboutwhat's worth it, where to be,
what to do, it all plays into.
It's all a part of thatfact-finding mission that I'm on
.
What am I doing right?

(33:48):
What am I doing wrong?
How can I improve?
Is it worth coming back?
If I were to come back, whatcan I do differently?
Where should I be?
How do I do it?
All these things.
Every single day I'm thinkingabout these things.
Me and Brian are discussingthese things.
I'm on the phone with a wifetalking about these things.
I'm engaging with other vendorsjust kind of fact finding for

(34:10):
all these things.
So even when you're not selling, you're thinking and you're
analyzing and some more of thethings that go into my thought
process on this is not only whatI've witnessed, but the
interactions I have with othervendors and one of them in
particular.
There was another vendor thatwas, um, like basically right

(34:31):
across from me.
They were in a good location.
They were basically right nextto the stage.
They um had like a more of acarnival tent style and they
probably had 30 feet, 40 feetwide.
It was a.
It was a big, big display and,uh, they had a bunch of things
in there, like, you know, pipesand knives and all this stuff,

(34:53):
and they had apparel as well.
And, uh, right next to them wasa trailer that that made
apparel Like they actually madeit on the spot.
They had hats and t-shirts.
They do like a hat bar t-shirt.
You know a la carte scenariowhere you go over and pick what
you want and they'll make it foryou right there.
So I sat, you know, in my littlevendor location and I could

(35:13):
watch these guys all week long,you know, because it's like
you're staring at each other inan open field and the a la carte
hat and t-shirt people wereextremely slow.
I remember seeing days wherethey didn't sell anything.
And then when they did, it wasa couple of things here and
there and I definitely felt forthem and the people next to them

(35:37):
with a large tent they weredoing okay, right, they would
have some sales here and thereand at night they would sell
like their paraphernalia stuff,so they would be one of the last
vendors to close up.
And the busiest vendor that wasthere was a big like carnival
style tent as well, maybe a 40or 50 foot tent, and they sold
all bike week event t-shirtsright, just the shirts to

(36:00):
commemorate bike week 2025, andthey're all like 15, 20.
Uh, honestly, there's just nota lot of money in that when
you're selling them at this atthat price point and, um, then
they have everything that'sdated.
So as the week gets, um, youknow, later and later in the
week, those t-shirts are now 15bucks, 10 bucks, eight bucks,

(36:21):
and I don't know how they makemoney at that.
They have racks of stuff that'sfrom previous bike weeks for $5
.
But they just get pallets andpallets of clothes to sell.
But selling things at $8 or $10a piece has got to be tough.
But they were the busiest oneof the week but even then I
would look at them and saythey're not way busier than we

(36:45):
are, which they should be likethey should be.
They're much cheaper and a lotof people want the souvenir of
the event they're going to.
People travel to bike week.
They want to come back and showoff to their friends.
They went to bike week.
So you know they.
They want the shirt tocommemorate the event.
I didn't make one of thoseshirts because you know
everybody else does and I wasworried that if I was competing

(37:07):
with all those, then what thehell do I do with a whole stack
of shirts that say daytona, bikeweek 2025, and I'm back home in
maine with a mess of them likeI.
No one's gonna want that.
So I opted to not create one ofthose and thankfully I did that
.
Because did that?
Because I know I would have saton a bunch of.
I would have lost my ass onthis scenario because if I had

(37:30):
made a whole bunch of those andthey didn't move, based off the
amount of business that I saw, Iwould have washed away any
money that we actually made onthis event.
So I'm thankful I didn't dothat, but watching that other
person's business, I'm tellingmyself, man, those guys should
really be cranking right now.
So as I'm watching all thesevendors, I'm really telling

(37:53):
myself, man, you're kind of inthe mix with all of this, you're
not losing your ass to thesepeople.
There was a guy there sellingTrump t-shirts and hats and
stuff for five bucks.
How do you make a living?
Five bucks at a time?
What are you buying thosethings for?
Did you steal a truckload?
I don't understand how thatworks.

(38:14):
But getting back to my pointhere, there's one night where
I'm just kind of sitting around,I made a few sales and the
person directly across from methat has the carnival tent with
the paraphernalia and the randomtchotchkes and the t-shirts and
stuff, he comes over andintroduces himself and we just
kind of start chatting a littlebit and we had a really good
conversation.
He was friendly and, uh, youknow he was like man, what is

(38:38):
going on?
Like, uh, you know, how are youguys doing over here?
And I was telling him, you know, we're just kind of treading
water trying to figure it out.
And you know, both of us startedthe week off a lot more
optimistic, obviously, and he'dbeen doing this for a long time.
He'd been in business for over10 years, coming to this
location for 10 years he has hisyou know his trailer right

(39:01):
behind his tent.
So all of his overstock, hiscamper, everything's right there
.
And we're kind of chattingabout it and he said, man, this
is the slowest bike week I'veever seen.
Like, don't beat yourself up,this is the slowest bike week
I've ever been a part of.
And he said, if you watch thepeople that are walking around

(39:24):
here, so many people are lookingand they're not leaving with
anything.
And if you watch the peoplecoming from across the road, for
every 10 or 15 people maybethere's one or two bags that
people have purchased.
You know, he said in years pastthat's every other person with
a bag.
He's like this is down, this isway down for me.
And that was one conversation.

(39:46):
And then, you know, we hadanother conversation where, you
know, still being polite, but Ialmost felt a little bit like he
wanted to kind of piss on histerritory a little bit, to kind
of mark the territory and comeover and have a conversation
with me and ask if things havepicked up and said, you know, I
got to be honest, man, there'sno money in being an apparel

(40:07):
vendor at Daytona Bike Week.
There's no money in it.
He said I've been doing thisfor over 10 years and I don't
make money selling t-shirts andsweatshirts here.
And he said the person next tome actually sells sweatshirts
and I feel so bad for them thatI haven't put my sweatshirts out
.
And he began to tell me thatthe a la carte hat people that

(40:27):
were there.
He said I don't think they'reeven going to make their rent by
the end of the week.
I don't think they're going tohave enough money to cover their
cost of their rent, nevermindthe rest of their expenses.
And they're from Minnesota,they drove from Minnesota.
So feather in our cap thatwe're here and we're making

(40:48):
money, we're turning a profitand it's our first time.
So I'm filing that away as apositive.
But as I'm talking to thisfeller, he continues to say
there's really no money inapparel.
Man, look around, of all thevendors that are here, 90% of
them sell t-shirts.
Man, like how can t-shirtvendors make money here?
And he began to talk about allthrough Daytona, all these

(41:13):
t-shirts, all these options, allthese price points.
You could buy $5, $10 t-shirts.
You know why?
Try to do this.
And he said I'll be honest, Ionly do Daytona Bike Week to say
that I do it.
And he said he follows bikeweeks around.
He goes to all of these rallies, he chases rallies for business

(41:33):
and, uh, he says that Daytonais one of his least profitable
rallies, but he does it becausehe's able to put it on the list,
like I do Daytona bike week,which I can understand the value
in that.
He walked away and it was apositive interaction.
There was nothing negativeabout it.
But I almost felt like, wereyou trying to measure my dick

(41:54):
right here?
Is this a dick measuringcontest?
Are you here to tell me I'vebeen doing this for this long
and you're not going to makemoney doing this?
Because, son, I'll tell you,when somebody tells me that I
can't do something, whensomebody tells me what I'm doing
is not going to work, there'sno profit, there's no dollars,
it don't make sense.
That pisses me off.

(42:16):
And when it pisses me off, I'mone motivated son of a bitch and
I'll make it work.
I'll tell you right now, basedoff of the conversation that we
had, I turned to Brian and saiddude, that conversation makes me
want to come back here, just inspite, just to show him your

(42:37):
conversation.
Didn't push me away.
You can piss all over the lawn.
You're not marking theterritory, you're not the
biggest dog in the yard, I'm notscared of your bark.
I'll come back and I'll rubyour nose and your own piss
marks, you understand?
Sorry to get vulgar here, butthat's how I feel.
Don't call me out, don'tthreaten me, don't challenge me,

(42:59):
don't try to measure me.
It pisses me off and itmotivates me.
That's enough to make me drive26 hours to whoop your ass.
That's the truth.
But I got to use a little morecommon sense because now I'm a
family man, I got to look atthings differently and that was
one of the most difficult thingsfor me.
Because as we talk and I'vealready said it here today

(43:20):
perception is reality and whatyou are trying to forecast, the
image you're creating foryourself on this event and the
potential success of this event.
That's their goal, that's yourexpectation.
Whatever falls short of that,whatever your end result is, if
it doesn't attain thatexpectation, then it's felt like

(43:42):
a failure.
But if you reframe yourexpectation, if you reframe how
you're looking at things, if youchange your perception of the
event, then you can have asuccessful event.
Let me spell this out for you.
If let's just say I was asingle dude and didn't have a

(44:02):
family to worry about and thiswas my business and I was trying
to put it on the map and Iwanted to go out there and raise
hell and have some fun, thiswould have been an incredible
adventure.
The end result, based off ofgoing out all the way to bike
week, raising some hell and notlosing any money, and putting
myself on the map, I would havecome home pounded my chest and

(44:25):
just freaked out about it.
Right, think about that part ofit.
Perception is reality.
Reframing how you look at thingschanges a lot of things.
When I think about just me andmy wife, when I think about me
and my wife and being marriedand having the obligation to do
your absolute best for yoursignificant other to provide for
your family and do the bestthat you can, leaving my wife

(44:49):
and taking on this journey withtwo of my friends and going out
and doing this, I could say, man, I really wish my wife was here
.
I'm sad that I had to leave herfor a couple of weeks, but
she's doing what she has to dofor the family.
I'm doing what I have to do forthe family.
I managed to raise some helland have some fun with my
friends and I made some money.

(45:12):
I guess in the end it's allworth it.
When you leave the house and youleave your wife and you leave
your five-month-old child, whohas a six month birthday party
at the house with your motherand your wife and you know they
have balloons and you knowfrozen yogurt and all this

(45:34):
craziness and you're watching iton your phone in a school bus.
When you're leaving your childfor the first time since her
birth, let's say and being awayfor a couple of weeks, and
you're not rolling in the money,the sacrifice is not worth the
reward.
When you're not stacking money,it weighs on you.

(45:57):
It absolutely weighs on you.
When me leaving my obligationsand my to-do list to others,
weighing them down, when my wifehas to change everything she
does to take care of my list ofthings that I do, when she's
taking on all my chores, whenshe's taking on my schedule,
when we now have to reach out toa friend to cover days watching

(46:20):
Paisley because I'm not here todo it.
When my mom has to find friendsto get her to work because I'm
not here to do it.
My wife has to leave early toget my mom home from work
because I'm not here to do it.
All the sacrifices from othersweighs on my lack of reward.
When I have to face my friendsthat have left their family and

(46:40):
they're paying jobs at home tohelp me and we're not achieving
the results that we want toachieve.
It weighs on me.
One of the best and worst thingsthat I did all week was in the
daily messages of pictures andvideos of my little girl that my
wife and my mother would sendme.
One of them just stole my heartand I created an amazing

(47:02):
screensaver on my phone.
It was one of the greatest andworst things I could have done,
because every time I checked myphone to see if one of the
greatest and worst things Icould have done because every
time I checked my phone to seeif I had a message, every time I
flipped my phone over and itlit up.
Every time I checked the clockto see what time it was, there
was a beautiful, amazing photoof my beautiful little girl
looking me right in the face andguilt would set in.

(47:23):
Every time I would look at myphone, I would feel the guilt of
leaving my child at homewithout returning with a major
payload.
The moment it became obvious tome that this event was not going
to be all I hoped it to be, Ibegan to feel extremely guilty
looking at the pictures of mydaughter on my phone, those

(47:45):
conversations with home all thenights that you know.
You're up at three in themorning, you still haven't gone
to bed.
You can't sleep.
You're wide awake in your bus,standing at the ceiling, often
staring at your phone, full ofregret.
It's hard to handle, it's hardto process.

(48:07):
As the days were not panningout like I hoped them to do, I
began to not want to look at myphone because it tore me up,
because I realized you'resacrificing time that you can't
get back for results that arenot going to pay off.
That became extremely,extremely difficult.

(48:28):
I don't even know how toexplain it.
I truly don't know how to putit into words.
The feeling that I could get itwas at times so motivating to
see the picture and say, well,if daddy's away from home, he's
going to put in the work andwe're going to make some money
and I'm going to push for somesales.

(48:48):
But then there was times whenyou worked your ass off and you
hadn't sold anything for acouple of hours and you flip
your phone over and you see yourlittle girl waiting for you at
home and it tears you up inside.
That was the battle, that wasthe challenge of being there
that made it tough, of beingthere.
That made it tough Someencouraging things to speak of
is, you know, talking to othervendors and hearing their

(49:11):
results.
Actually, there was shoot, Iwant to say maybe two days or
three days left to go in bikeweek and this fellow was walking
by in a straw hat with asecurity shirt on and me and
Brian just started having aconversation with him and I
realized it was actually theowner Like he runs the entire

(49:32):
show and he, you know, wasintrigued that we approached him
and was having conversations.
So he was asking us how we weredoing and he encouraged us and
said you know, fellas, don'thold this one against yourselves
.
This is a different rally.
For some reason.
You know, this has been a toughweek and he was on the verge of

(49:54):
a panic attack and honestly, wewere kind of talking him off
the ledge, which was kind of aninteresting turn of events.
As he's telling me, he's losing$10,000 to $30,000 a day.
Here I am thinking about oursacrifices and the fact that
we're going to go home with afew bucks, and I got somebody
talking about losing $30,000 aday, $10,000 a day.

(50:18):
And I got somebody talkingabout losing $30,000 a day,
$10,000 a day.
These folks had also invested$250,000 into Biketoberfest,
which was rained out, and theywere unable to recoup their
$250,000.
They're now hosting a rally.
That's losing $10,000, $20,000a day Puts things in perspective

(50:38):
.
Right, perception is reality,man, and you should have to look
at these things and think aboutthese things.
So, as we're havingconversations, we have, you know
, no real skin in the game,nothing to lose.
We're going to be honest aboutour experiences and our input,
and maybe we kind of crossed theboundaries a little bit.
But we basically said thesebands here suck dude, they're

(51:02):
not keeping people here, man,they're scaring people away.
And the guy said you'reabsolutely right.
And I'm glad you said that,because we just fired the guy
that books all these bands,because we're done with this.
And I said well, that's a wisedecision because, unfortunately,
sometimes people in thatbusiness, they get to a point
where they're just comfortableand all they decide to do is

(51:22):
hire all their friends.
Instead of looking for talent,they look for buddies.
And he said that's exactly whathappened.
So we just fired our bookingagent and he started listing all
the things they're going to dodifferently, talking about some
of the bands they're targetingfor the next year and planning
all these things out and havingencouraging conversations with

(51:43):
us.
And then, maybe an hour later, agolf cart rolls up and it's his
right-hand man and the personthat I paid my rent to, that
gave me my location and he says,oh, I have to start calling you
the mayor.
And he comes over and startshaving a conversation.
And I'm thinking, oh, I'll haveto start calling you the mayor.
And he comes over and startshaving a conversation.
And I'm thinking, mayor, youmust have just had a
conversation with your boss, hada conversation with me?

(52:04):
That's the only person thatwe've talked to.
So, hmm, interesting.
But that turned into an eventsession about how shitty Bike
Week was going for them.
All the changes they wanted tomake, the people they let go,
and I'll give them credit.
They had staff even runningbathrooms and security guards
that were there at the beginningof the week.

(52:25):
They were let go.
By the end of it.
They had, you know, like shotgirls and bartenders that were
replaced by the end of the week.
They were making proactivechanges.
I can't fault them for that andyou know they were discussing
some of the things they're goingto do different and, um, I had
mentioned to the guy you knowthat, um, they have, they have
an MC that's did all theirevents the whole week.

(52:47):
And, uh, I don't like to give anegative review of somebody,
right, like especially somebodythat does what I do, because I
would not want somebody to walkaround and say that I suck at my
job.
But I'll just say that you know, I've experienced better, you
know, and I guess I expectedmore from this location, because

(53:09):
I thought at bike week for meto go there and sit back, I
could learn something.
I would learn something fromDJs, I would learn something
from entertainers and I wouldcertainly learn something from a
professional MC that I couldbring home with me and use and
adapt to what it is that I do.
And, uh, during the week I hadmany people come to me because I

(53:34):
was so grateful of all thefolks that I got to see from
home and from all over the placethat said dude, you should be
emceeing this place, you shouldbe doing things for this place
and I appreciated the feather inthe cap and all day, every day,
brian talked about how muchbetter it would be if I was
running things.
And when we were having thatconversation with the gentleman

(53:57):
that organizes a bunch of thisstuff, I said you know, back
home that's what I do.
I do this for Bentley Saloon.
And his ears perked up and hesaid oh, bentley Saloon, I love
Bentley.
And we started chatting and hestarted getting real curious
about my abilities and what Icould do and he said funny, you
should say this because my MCcame to me and said am I on the

(54:19):
chopping block too, like could Ilose my job?
And I told him everybody is onthe block after this week and
you have not given your bestthis week.
There was a wide open door forme to just put my pinky finger
on it and push it over and marchright in.

(54:39):
But I wasn't there to piss onsomebody's Cheerios man, and I
didn't really want to.
You know, step out on a limband really throw my hat in the
ring to take somebody else's job, because I wanted to go home
and also really haveconversations with my wife about
how has it been?
What was it like for you, forme, to be gone for so long?

(55:02):
Is Brian and Zach interested incoming back?
While I have the support, ifI'm emceeing, then you know
their workload would go up Likeall the sacrifice that has to
happen.
I wasn't going to, you know,without the research, without
the questions, without theconversations, just push the
door in because it's not mystyle.

(55:23):
I've got to a point in lifewhere I need to think
differently.
I need to think about my familyand, um, you know all the
sacrifices that was made.
So I didn't.
I didn't knock the door down,literally.
If I was a thousand percent sureI was going back next year, I
would have said to him in thatopportunity, you give me one of
your events.
You've got X amount of eventsleft for your week.

(55:45):
You pick any single one ofthose events.
You give me the microphone andaccess to some music and let me
work.
Give me one 20 minute event.
You see all you want to see.
If you like me, we'll have aconversation.
That's what I would have done.
That's what I could have done.
I didn't do that because Ididn't want to just take a man's

(56:07):
job from him.
That's not what my goal is.
If you see me and you like meand my ability more than what
you currently have and you wantto upgrade and hire me, then can
have a conversation and we canlook at things totally
differently.
Because if I'm going there witha guaranteed amount of money in
my pocket, it makes my decisionmaking a heck of a lot easier,

(56:27):
and I would love to put thefeather in my cap that I am see
Daytona Bike Week.
So putting that out there.
That was an interesting littlefactoid.
I overheard some conversationsbetween the two of them while I
was waiting in line for foodwhere literally I heard the
conversation of basically Ithink it was about me I'm not

(56:50):
going to say it was certainlyabout me but I heard them say
well, it's not like he wouldtravel here with all of his gear
with him.
You know, it's something alongthose lines.
He probably doesn't have hisgear here.
So I honestly think that partof them was saying, hey, if this
guy had all of his stuff wecould give him a shot.
Or maybe we let the guy go,that we have set the expectation

(57:14):
for the people that are herethat we mean business Like I
don't know man.
There was a lot of thingsfloating around that I think, um
, what it could have happened ifI pushed for it.
I think I could have made ithappen.
But I'm a family man now and Ineed to think about the weight
that gets placed on my familyand decide if these decisions
are right.
And every night me and Brianwould have a conversation.

(57:36):
Every morning we'd have anotherone.
We'd try to search out thepositive sprinkles to sprinkle
on that donut to figure it out.
And we had multipleconversations with me and him
and me saying life seems a wholelot different when I'm making
decisions for my daughter thanwhen I was making decisions for
just me and my wife.
And the accountability getsramped up and the dependency

(57:58):
that is.
And the accountability getsramped up and the dependency
that is placed on me gets rampedup.
So there's a lot that goes intoit.
There's a lot more thought thathas to go into it.
So I can't wholeheartedlyanswer right now whether I'm
going back next year.
It's absolutely up forconsideration.
The event as a whole was not aflop.

(58:19):
I'm thankful that we did it.
I'm grateful that weaccomplished it.
I'm so blessed by the supportthat we have and there's so many
blessings, so many positivesthat came from this trip.
If I didn't put the weight onme on a financial number that I
wanted to attain, then thisjourney would have felt a hell

(58:41):
of a lot more successful.
But there was something thathappened on Sunday and again on
Monday and then was sealed witha kiss on Tuesday that really
drove home for me that this wasokay and that you know, there's

(59:02):
somebody else that's proud of meand I'm absolutely acting in a
courageous way.
And this one gets a little bittougher to talk about.
But if you're a loyal listener,if you've been listening, not
even from day one, if you'vebeen listening for, let's say,
the past year and a half, thenyou know the story of me losing

(59:25):
my father and you would know thestory that on the first day on
this earth without my dad, I wasout doing chores in the morning
, getting ready to go to thefuneral home, and my wife
spotted a bald eagle circlingour farm that flew around and
checked out all the things wewere doing and went over to my

(59:49):
dad's workshop and flew over thehorse and the pig and just kind
of took everything in and spentenough time for my family to
see and acknowledge and torealize that's my father, that's
wholeheartedly my father.
And if you've listened to thoseepisodes, there's a lot of
symbolism that comes up with aneagle, a message that was given

(01:00:11):
to me, my wife finding a dreamcatcher with an eagle on it in
the trash as we're packing up,just days after my father landed
in the hospital All these signs, I know that my father comes to
me as an eagle.
On Sunday morning, brian, zachand myself are packing the bus

(01:00:32):
and we're down to the last twoor three items A chair, an
extension cord, a fan, the lasttwo or three items A chair, an
extension cord, a fan, the lasttwo or three items.
I'm pouring sweat, I'm tired,I'm ready to be home and I hear
Zach say holy shit, that'sabsolutely an eagle right there.
And I turned around and in thefield above our head is a bald

(01:00:58):
eagle Circling the field aboveour head is a bald eagle
Circling the bus, soaringthrough the skies, flying out of
sight.
I stood there in the fieldfighting back tears, watching
what I presumed to be my fatherfly out of sight, as he's

(01:01:19):
checking on me and saying, boy,you did it.
The results aren't what youhoped them to be.
But you did it and I'm proud ofyou.
There's nobody in my lifethat's ever been more proud of
me than my father.
My father was my biggestsupporter and cheerleader that I
will ever have in this life.

(01:01:41):
To know that he was there withme, to see him arrive and say,
boy, I've watched you all weekand you've done it that truly

(01:02:04):
wholeheartedly, was all I neededto see to really just justify
my decisions, to validate why Idid what I did.
The symbolism of my fatherbeing there, knowing that he was
by my side all week.

(01:02:25):
He guided me through the upsand downs, the bad conversations
, those inner struggles, thosemoments of regret.
He was with me when I had mysuccesses, when I, you know,

(01:02:45):
made new relationships and hadspecial encounters all those,
all those things you know he was.
He was there and and watchingover me and guiding me through
my first ever endeavor as afather, leaving my family behind
, knowing my father was there,thinking about all the time I
spent behind the steering wheel,thinking about my dad and

(01:03:11):
thinking about the fact that myone of my best friends is on
this trip with me, with his son,and how grateful I am to have
had the opportunity to get toknow his son.
But to draw the parallelsbetween what I'm going through,
having that conversation withmyself, that says, man, I wish I
was on this trip with my dadthat Sunday, knowing I was on

(01:03:36):
that trip with my dad, he was bymy side.
That, to me, was powerful.
As I'm telling this story, Iremember and I don't recall if
it was on the way to Florida, onthe way back from Florida or
the day before I left forFlorida, but in front of me was

(01:03:59):
a car.
That license plate abbreviatedthe words everything's going to
be okay.
My dad used to always tell medon't worry, everything's going
to be okay, I'm okay, I'm alwaysokay, I'm always going to be
okay, everything's okay.
That message always okay, I'malways going to be okay,
everything's okay.
That message from that platewas my father.

(01:04:22):
That Sunday morning beforehitting the road, was
wholeheartedly, absolutely myfather, and it lit a fire under
me to get home and to try, andit just justified every reason
why.
And it just justified everyreason why.

(01:04:42):
So we made our journey home andwe got stuck in traffic and
dealt with nonsense and allthose things.
Thankfully and gratefully, thebus ran fantastic and we made it
home and everything went smooth.
And the very next day my wifetook a little time off so that
the family could be together.
We were out to run errands.

(01:05:05):
On our way out to run errands,allie yelled to me, was telling
you about, and I looked up andthere was another eagle and she
said that eagle has moved intotown and I've started to see him
all around and she was tellingme the areas and, um, there was

(01:05:29):
another eagle as soon as I gothome.
It's like my dad guided me thewhole way, guided me the whole
way, and there he was yet againto say you made it bud and I'm
proud of you.
Another crazy connection with mydad and this trip was on monday

(01:05:50):
, as we were approaching ourfinal destination, as me and the
boys were within 15, 20 minutesof home, I was starting to hit
on the tunes, some songs thatwere important to me and just
kind of wrapping up our littlejourney.
And one song that I find myselfplaying when I'm on the road,

(01:06:14):
when I'm challenging myself,when I'm away from home, when
I'm often alone, is a song thatreminds me of my father that I
played at his funeral.
I put it in his slideshow.
It was a band that he opened myeyes up to, that we always had
a mutual connection to, and itwas Credence Clearwater.
And there's a song Long as ICan See the Light that I played.

(01:06:37):
And there's a song Long as ICan See the Light that I played,
like I said, at my dad'sservice in his slideshow, and I
put that song on, I put on Longas I Can See the Light and I had
my glasses on and I wasthinking about my dad and I was
tearing up and we wereapproaching home and I just

(01:06:58):
happened to be gazing out thewindow just kind of taking in
the moment, and as I was doingso, a trailer truck begins to
pass the bus and I look at thetruck because it's not hard to
notify or notice.
It's white and purple and itused to be my godfather's truck,

(01:07:20):
my dad's best friend, one of mydad's best friends, the best
man at my mother and father'swedding, big Alan Spencer.
Now again, I hate to keep sayingthis, but if you've been
listening in over the past yearor so, you know that after my
father passed I had some greatconversations with Alan.

(01:07:41):
I get to tell him that I'mabout to be a father.
He calls me and has an amazingconversation with me that leaves
me in tears.
As I tell my mother and my wife, I feel like the gal was saying
goodbye to me, and only a fewshort days later he passed away.
And just a few months afterlosing my father, I lost my

(01:08:02):
godfather, and my middlenamesake and his boys are
incredibly close to me.
We grew up together and his son,kyle, had called me to tell me
you.
You know I hate to do this, butI need to tell you that my dad
just passed.
They also asked me to speak atAlan's funeral and I had the

(01:08:27):
great honor of doing so, ofspeaking at his funeral and
sharing some memories.
And as I'm connecting thesedots, it's funny because I'm
realizing this now, but when Iwas at bike week a few days into
the week, I was surprised by afamiliar face.
I was surprised by Kyle Spencer, someone I consider a brother.

(01:08:50):
You know, we've often toldeverybody that we're all cousins
.
Kyle is Alan's son, hisyoungest son, and Kyle is the
one that called me to tell methat his father had passed.
And, you know, kyle conductedthe service for his dad, much
like I did for my dad and hisbrother, travis, also was a big

(01:09:14):
part of the service and theyasked me to be a part of it and
the connections and parallelsthat we share is uncanny because
they also lost their bigbrother, much like I did.
And then, you know, I lose myfather and then, shortly after,
they lose theirs.
But as I'm having thisconversation, kyle surprised me
in Florida and we took a picturetogether and I sent it to his

(01:09:38):
mother and to my mother and itwas a great, great moment in
memory.
But it goes beyond ironic thatwith the final few miles of our
trip, I'm playing a song thatreminds me of my father, that I
use for comfort when I'm awayfrom home, and at that exact

(01:09:58):
time I see Kyle and Travis'sfather's truck, my godfather
Alan Spencer's truck, his bigrig, his tractor trailer truck
that he sold right beforepassing away passes my bus.
Folks, I don't know how youfeel about God.

(01:10:20):
I don't know where your fate is, I don't know if to you it's
divine intervention, if it'sirony, if it's just timing or if
it's God's plan, but for me, Iand I absolutely believe and I

(01:10:45):
know that God, my Father and myGodfather were truly by my side
and there was many opportunitiesand signs placed in my path to
prove to me that everything isgoing to be okay and I'm doing

(01:11:08):
the right things.
I need to stay the course andkeep on keeping on, because as
long as I can see the light,I'll never give up this fight.
With that said, thank you toeach and every single one of you
for supporting my Americandream.

(01:11:29):
Now go.
Wash Fucking heads, fuckingsavage.
That's it and that's all.
Biggie smalls.

(01:11:53):
If you're a loud, proud americanand you find yourself just
wanting more, find me on YouTubeand Facebook at loud, proud
American, or the face page, asmy mama calls it.
If you're a fan of the grahamcracker, want to find me on
Instagram.
Or all the kids by ticketytalking on the tick tock.
You can find me on both ofthose at loud, underscore, proud

(01:12:18):
, underscore American.
A big old thank you to the boysfrom the Gut Truckers for the
background beats and the themesong for this year's podcast.
If you are enjoying what you'rehearing, you can track down the

(01:12:39):
Gut Truckers on Facebook.
Just search Gut Truckers.
Give them motherfuckers a liketoo.
Feel the pain, make it bleed, Ihate to say.

(01:13:01):
I told you so.
I truly thank you forsupporting my American dream.
Now go wash your fucking hands,you filthy savage.