The Strength of Relationships Behind Bars w/ Montreanna & Manny Culbreath

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
She bold, she real, and she's definitely ready.
Hey guys, welcome back toanother episode of the she Bold
Crew Podcast.
It's your girl, smiley B andEva G, and we are here with a

(00:23):
special guest today.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
And we are back with another episode.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
There we go.
Listen, you ain't got tocorrect me.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
I'm excited about the guest.
I'm excited about the guest Idone skipped the intro.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm ready to get to the guest.
No, but for real y'all.
We have a guest today and I'msuper excited to speak with her.
We have Ms Matriana.
Matriana, do you want tointroduce yourself?
Just kind of let us know whereyou're from, just some like you
know.
Quick little get to know you.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
Of course, hi y'all.
I'm Matriana.
I'm originally from Chicago,but I'm branched off to the
country.
Um I live in isla now.
Um, I'm a content creator and aprison wife okay, yes, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
So if y'all want to know, you know how we came
across miss matriana and Ireached out to her.
Um, I came across a video thatI seen her in on a YouTube
channel Titled love, don't judge, and from my perspective it was
like a whole bunch of Couplesgiving their stories like Some

(01:34):
would consider like Non orunconventional Relationships
type situation.
But I really found her storyinteresting and I thought it
would be, you know, great toReach out and, by the grace of
God, she was willing to.
But I really found her storyinteresting and I thought it
would be great to reach out andby the grace of God, she was
willing to speak with us today.
So we're super excited to get toknow her some more.
But before we do that, you know, you guys, we like to do our

(01:55):
WTH moment.
So you got a WTH moment.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
My WTH moment and anybody that is living in
Columbus Ohio.
I think we all have the samewth moment.
Why the hell is there thisyoung lady going viral right now
?
She has been, she's been goingviral on the internet.
She's been on radio stations.
She is going viral for being onlive while she was dropping her

(02:20):
children off to children'sservices because she said
willingly they didn't come andtake her kids.
She came to drop her childrenoff, recorded the whole thing on
live and said you know, shejust overwhelmed, she didn't
want them, she couldn't do it.
My question is why the hellwould you record that on live?

Speaker 1 (02:38):
yeah, no for sure.
And, um, this is a good one,being that, you know, it's
mother's day weekend and when Iseen the video because I watched
the videos in like backwardsorder and I didn't know I just
seen somebody share it because,like you said, it was going
viral, so I clicked on it andI'm watching it and I'm
literally like in tears watchingthis video because I'm like I'm

(03:01):
you know, I'm a single mom.
I can relate like to beingoverwhelmed, and this and that
but then kicks in my sense ofdiscernment when I'm like
something told me, like let mego to her page, let me get a
little bit more insight aboutthis young lady because
initially, as a mother, somebodywho loves helping people, who
loves reaching out, my, my urgewas to initially reach out and I

(03:21):
think I want to reach out youknow.
But then I did some more diggingand I'm like something ain't
right about this story and, loand behold, you know, everybody
is in the up for on social mediaabout it right now.
Like, like you said, she wasjust on a radio station.
Um, of course, I'm sure a lotof people are reaching out to
her to do interviews and this,this and that.
But I'm looking at the biggerpicture, like I need to

(03:44):
understand the whole scopebefore I start judging.
Or you know, trying to reachout or trying to do this or do
that, and, lo and behold, we raninto the other side.
The other side, the baby daddyand the baby daddy's family and
let's just say it's.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
It's two sides to a story and they want to come on
to the podcast and get a spill,so stay tuned you know, we got
something for y'all and anybodywho's who knows that you know
and listen to our podcast.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
We don't do like none of our topics we don't.
We don't typically get intolike messy stuff, like we we're.
Our overall goal is to empower,educate build uplift, be a
support of our listeners and allof that, but at the end of the
day, I think it's a biggerpicture to it.
I feel like anything peoplepost on social media, whether

(04:35):
sad, happy, whatever people takeit and run with it and they
don't really know the facts.
And it's not always ourbusiness to know the facts.
But when you're talking about awoman on facebook crying,
dropping her kids off the cps bysaying she's overwhelmed, but
then you see a video or a postwhere you talking about you,
about to be outside, shakingyour, your, your ass and no she

(04:58):
didn't.
And it's people donating money,people over here crying me over
here, sad.
You know what I'm saying andyou know and, like I said, I
don't know the you know herscope, like what her mental
health status is or none of that.
So I'm not passing judgment,I'm just more so want to pray
for the young lady.
But I think that it is alwaysimportant to understand the full

(05:19):
story, exactly because we willbe hearing it's not.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah that's it.
I think that play a part inlike intention, kind of like you
were saying that it sets thetone.
Because I feel like you, yougot to think about it.
Every time we go on socialmedia it's an influence with
anything, so you don't know whatsomebody else is looking at
them.
They like, oh she can get allthis per se clout off doing this
, let me do it, you know.
And now they just take certainsteps and do certain things.

(05:47):
That ain't we don't really wanteverybody to do this.
Just, you know if somebodycould have actually needed the
support and the help that theyneed, that and now you done
burnt us.
So now we look at the nextperson somebody posted.
I ain't gonna necessarily be soquick to help them, because the
last one, right he wasn'treally genuine, so right, and
then it's like, yeah, becauseit's like, I understand.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
But that's just so scary that the world we live in
right now, in the times that welive in that people feel like
they have to go that far, likeyou're going to give up your
kids whether you really gavethem up or not like and record
it to get help.
Really, you know it's peopleout here that do need help, but
you don't.
The fact that you feel like youhave to go that far to get help
, and the thing about it ispeople want everything so

(06:33):
instant.
If you're working hard and it'smeant for you, it's going to be
for you.
You have to be patient.
You know what I'm saying.
You have to trust the process,but me, as a, I just could not
never see myself doing.
I mean I done been overwhelmed,don't get me wrong.
I have been overwhelmed, like alot, and I feel like any mother

(06:53):
is, whether they are a singlemother or not.
Being a parent is one of thescariest, most stressful jobs in
the world.
You're responsible for anotherhuman body.
Like what do you mean?
Like that's just.
You know it in a nutshell.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
But it's overwhelming for women, period Married
mothers and two parent householdmothers.
I mean it's an overwhelming jobbut all of the stress that I've
ever had with you know, or thehard times that I've had with
being a parent, that has nevercrossed my mind to just go drop
them off at children you knowthat has never crossed my mind,

(07:31):
you know for sure I might havewanted to drop them off at my
mama house or somebody, but notthat right.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
When we do that, I think, um, my whole thing with
dropping them off to somewherelike that, it would just be.
You know, people that grow upin foster homes don't tend to
have like really goodexperiences sometimes.
I know what I I would be justlike.
This would be the absolute lastresort.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yes, like, like y'all would have to come pry my kids
out of my hand, like I willalmost have to be physically not
able to take care of my kidslike physically, like wheelchair
bound, can't walk, can't see,like that is what it would take
like for me to like hand over mykids.
I'm not like going, like I'mjust not, because those were,

(08:14):
they were blessings to me.
There's women out here thatcan't bear children, that want
you know that's what they livefor.
They, they want to have a baby.
And they can't have that andI'm not going to take for
granted the blessing that theLord gave me because I'm
overwhelmed because I chose tohave these kids.
You know what I'm saying?
Like no, um, so yeah, that's,that's a deep one right there,
y'all.
So keep tuned in.

(08:36):
You know, we, we, we might havesomething in the works coming
with this other side, but not onno messy or, you know,
judgmental or trying to bashnobody.
It's really just trying to hearboth sides and really
understand, because this isserious.
You're you're talking aboutsomebody's character.
You're talking about somebody'sparenting you're talking about

(08:58):
you're on here saying some crazyallegations and I feel like
everybody should have a platformand I feel like, as women, it
is a gift and a curse that weare, um, you know, babied in a
sense, yeah, like we're, like Ifeel like everybody jumped to
her aid because she's a womanand everybody's like, oh, she's

(09:18):
a woman.
We're looked at as more delicateand helpless.
But that's why these men actlike they do too, because they
feel like I'm damned if I do,damned if I don't.
It's I can't win for nothing,whether I tell my story, whether
I don't, because I'm the manand I'm always got to be looked
at wrong in a situation, andit's like no I love that women
can be handled delicately andpeople can flock to them and

(09:39):
support them.
But I think that it's.
It's scary that somebody canget on there and say, oh, this,
this and that about anotherindividual or you know a man,
and people just like, oh yeah, Fhim, he ain't nothing, we're
going to help you.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
And it's like, and there's just so much that you
have to post the things onsocial media Like you have to be
so good.
This is going to follow her forthe rest of her life, her
child's father for the rest ofher life, her child's father for
the rest of her life, her kidsfor the rest of their life.
Oh my gosh, yeah, that's deep.
Yeah, I just would never.
I would try.
My heart is to never put mykids.

(10:15):
I would try not to put my kidsin that situation period, but I
damn sure would never post it.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
Yeah, on social media that is, that's very public.
Like you said, you can neverdelete that.
You don't even people probablyscreen recorded that.
This is what I'm hearing about.
I haven't heard about it herebut, like you said, it's plenty
of women that there's a lady outhere she just went to jail for
they say she kidnapped her sonbut she gets visitation hours
with him and she's a dang goodmom.

(10:41):
They even like here um, for thesimple fact like I don't like
to get my kids um, what is it?
Vaccines I try to like it is asmany as I can't like that.
I try to stray away from theones that are not required, but
the one prior I have to get them.
They came to a point where theywere like you can get your kids
taken for not getting them torequire vaccines.

(11:03):
Um, this is, it's illegal tonot get them vaccinated and they
actually took a child away fromthe mother for not getting
their kids vaccinated.
They said that was neglect.
So it's people that actuallywant their kids and they don't
have the opportunity to havethem in for someone to just take
and those are the people whosestory we will want to, you know,

(11:24):
hear.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Those are the people whose story we will want to, you
know, hear.
Those are the people that wouldactually get the help and the
resources.
I mean because this young womanwho you know in columbus that
posted this I mean people are,you know, cash shopping or all
type of money she's getting paidfor um interviews and, uh, just
all kinds of you know, like Isaid, she was on the radio and
so she's getting a lot ofresources and a lot of help and

(11:45):
there are so many people thatare really, really trying and
could really use that no, forsure my husband called y'all
okay.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
So, guys, as I stated , um Montriana, I came across
her and her profile and herstory with her, her journey with
her husband, who is currentlyincarcerated, um on a YouTube
channel and um, I thought it wasvery interesting because, you
know, a lot of people had a lotto say about, like her decision

(12:21):
to marry her husband while he isin prison and serving what is a
life sentence.
You know, and you know, I feellike it's just really important
to understand people and wherethey're coming from.
I feel like, like we saidbefore, everybody's so quick to
pass judgment.
There was so many comments, youknow, and I just was, I just

(12:45):
was like wait, like y'all don'tknow this young girl, y'all
don't really know and even inthe video.
It was like an eight minutevideo, um, you know it wasn't
long at all, so it's like youcan't really learn nothing from
an eight minute video.
For you.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
The great thing about our um episode that y'all won't
get from that video is weactually have her husband, manny
.
He's going to be calling in andhe's going to be joining, so we
will hear his perspective aswell.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
So, yeah, yeah, so, and that we didn't have that
plan we just thought we wasgonna be chatting with miss but
she's uh, you know, speakingwith him right now.
He's calling in on her otherphone, so she's just kind of
giving him the rundown, and ofcourse I'm sure he wasn't
expecting it either, but shesaid she seemed that he seems
like he'll be pretty open to it.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
So yes, awesome that'd be really dope his
perspective.
Yeah, I love hearing maleperspectives about everything
anyways, no, for sure, for sureI think, it's important.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
Like I said, the world is not made of just all
women for a reason there's menand women and I feel like yeah,
my bad y'all Okay.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
so he talked about.
He said he's definitelyinterested if y'all had any
questions for him or just wantedhim to.
Definitely yes, let's see ifyou can hear him, though.
Hello.

Speaker 4 (14:03):
We can hear clearly Hi Mannyny, how are you doing?

Speaker 1 (14:08):
I'm doing all right.
That's good.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
I'm smiley and I'm even oh, I got joy if I want me
to talk to y'all tomorrow.
Happy mother's day oh, thankyou we appreciate that, yes, so
much.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Well, we, we're excited that you're, um, you
know, open to speaking with ustoday.
We didn't we didn't expect it,we didn't plan for it, so we're
super excited and we appreciateyou taking the time.
I know you want to speak towifey um, but yeah, we, we
appreciate both of you guyscoming on and um just chatting
with us.
Like I was explaining to thelisteners, we reached out to um,

(14:44):
your wife, because I seen yourguys's story on the YouTube
channel the Love Don't JudgeYouTube channel and I thought it
was so interesting and I just,like you know, I feel like
people don't really try to takethe time to really understand
people for who they are.
They just look at a situationand they just start judging and
giving their opinions and youknow's.
All fine, everybody has anopinion, it's you know.

(15:07):
But I think it's important tolearn the substance of
situations and and get to knowpeople in their situation so
that you can learn to understand.
That's what life's about.
If we don't learn to understanddifferent things, that that may
not be normal to us, then like,what is, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (15:21):
you know, right, and I mean I so many questions and I
don't know if I want to directthem to.
I don't know which one of y'allwant to answer, but it's just.
You know, how did y'all meet?
How did this start?
How did the proposal go Like?
Tell us.

Speaker 3 (15:35):
We got two different stories about how we met.

Speaker 4 (15:53):
We made up a whole little scenario about walking me
home like that's a whole lifeyou could start explaining how
you feel like we and like no,for real, for my cousin.
Like she said my cousin hadintroduced us, but I don't, I
don't know if she did or not.
All I can remember is me justseeing her.
When I see, I just tease hardas hell, like like I know me,

(16:18):
like people first, or somethingthat I don't shy from and I
don't run from that.
But it's like when I'm sayinghi, like I had a thing, like
damn, who, like I can't speak, Ican't talk tight.
Did you feel me?
So oh, like I don't know, butlike, eventually, eventually, my
cousin, she said she didintroduce us.
Oh, this is my cousin, this ismy cousin, this is my cousin,

(16:46):
this is, was it so?

Speaker 3 (16:47):
I mean, when we were in high school, and then from
there on out she took it.
From there, yeah, my birth.
He came, he inboxed me and thenhis cousin said something to me
about him because I wasignoring him, because it was I
had just moved to this city.
So it wasn't really, you knowmany people I knew, but I knew
her because we went to schooltogether and I saw her.
I never really saw him becausehe wasn't in class, you know.

(17:08):
You know you weren't doing theclass thing, right, you should
have been in class, right.
She ended up introducing me tohim after, like I guess he was
asking her about me.
He never walked me home fromschool.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
He never made sure I got there.
He didn't never walk me homefrom school, but he never made
sure I got there safely.
He never got me home.
That is so cute okay yes, forsure.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Like I think that's so cute, the fact that he's like
oh no, I could not stopcheesing like uh-huh, I see
everything.
I'm like, yeah, she's pretty.
Like I want to talk to her whenI like her vibe, like I want to
get to you know, know her andlike you know their story.
I think that is veryinteresting and I feel like,
even though for some people itmay be common, for some people
it's not, but, like I said, youknow, of course, to each his own

(18:01):
, but, like I said, it's stillimportant to try to get to
understand and know people youknow.
So one of the things that a lotof people say is like you know,
y'all met and started dating umin high school um and then um
was it?
Y'all broke up and wentseparate ways and then got back

(18:23):
together later.
Um so, with that, you know,with your husband being
incarcerated, they, you knowI've seen like people saying,
like you know that's selfish ofhim to want to marry you or to,
you know, lock you down in asense of like being, you know,
faithful and having that, that,that commitment, while he's
locked up.

(18:44):
But I'm and my aspect I'm likejust because somebody is
incarcerated doesn't mean thatthey don't deserve love.
You know what I'm saying, ifthat was there.
If they have genuine, real love, like who's to say that because
of the circumstances, that hedoesn't deserve that?

Speaker 3 (18:58):
right, all right, I understand that.
So with other what he he'sgonna call that but, um, with
other people they may feel likelike you other he's going to
call back, but with other peoplethey may feel like, like you
said that he's selfish, but Itruthfully don't feel like he
got a choice.
You can't make me stop talkingto you Period Because, like he
could leave you for two.
So like that's like saying,okay, I want you to have a

(19:21):
broken heart because I feel likeyou don't need to be with him.
So you're telling me he'sselfish because he's allowing me
to date him, but that's who heloves.
Like he, he wanted to date mejust as much as I want to date
him, regardless of where he's at.
If he's making me happy andhe's fulfilling these needs
besides physical, then what'sthe problem with that?
I don't feel like that'sselfish.
He's not holding me back fromanything.

(19:43):
Like I go where I want to go, Ido what I want to do.
I just don't do stuff likeother people.
I don't mess around with people.
That's the same as people onthe outside.
Like they could say that, withyou dating a man for six years,
are you saying that he's holdingyou back and he's selfish
because he's dating you.
The only difference is he'sincarcerated.
So is he's incarcerated.

(20:06):
So most people are like, yeah,you don't have.
You don't have the opportunityto explore other people.
But when you're in arelationship with a man on the
outside, you don't have theopportunity to explore other
people.
So how is it?
How is it any different?
It's just I'm in a relationshipwith someone I'm choosing to
love, just like he's choosing tolove me.
We it's.
It's not to say I'm notoblivious to reality.
It could very much well notwork out, which is something

(20:26):
that we've had a discussionabout.
We don't feel like it won'twork out, but we know it could
possibly not.
But right now he's fulfillingthose needs.
Right now he's making me happy.
So why would I leave somebodybased off a risk of wasting time
, when everybody faces that riskin a relationship every day?

Speaker 1 (20:45):
you know what I'm saying exactly exactly, and I
think that what you said was soimportant.
Like you said, we choose tolove.
You know that.
That's always.
You know, everybody has thatchoice and it's for someone to
judge you for who you choose tolove.
That that's it's really, youknow, insane to me because, like
you said, at the end of the day, the only thing that's missing

(21:06):
is the physical, and that seemsto be the thing that everybody
always focuses on, and that'swhat's the shock value.
There is like he's notphysically there with you and
even though ideally we made that, you know in our heads that
that's what a picture perfectrelationship looks like, like we
live together, we're home witheach other every night, and this
is the night and this is thenight, but, like you said,

(21:27):
there's relationships out here,on the outside, that don't look
like that you know, there'srelationships out here, where
their husband's in the serviceand he only can come home every
three months for three days orwhatever or relationships.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
People don't judge that relationships where you
know one of the people might bedisabled and there might be a
lack, of you know physical therewe see that a lot and people
are in relationships and they'resingle mothers.

Speaker 3 (21:53):
I've seen that that's more frequent.
You have single parents in ahousehold with a man that don't
do nothing, don't help, don'tlike.
So it's like come on, I have a,a man that he calls his
daughter every day.
He helps with my kids, whetherit's my son or my oldest son's
autistic.
He talks to the therapist everyWednesday with me.

(22:14):
We recap with them.
He helped me, um, build a planfor my son on a schedule,
because I have a hard timemaintaining schedules and
staying focused.
He created a focal point andplan for me to live by.
So it was like he balances them, points the parts of me.
So it's like if he's fulfillingthat and he's doing his job

(22:37):
from there, he get extra pointsto me because it's been here and
they say, like you know, he gotmore than enough time he should
be, he better be doing this.
And it's like it's men that arein there that aren't doing
these same things and it's alsomen that choose to do the wrong
thing.
It's also men that choose to doother things while they're
incarcerated.
So the fact that he's choosingto do the right thing and help

(22:58):
and fulfill my needs in his freetime.
That?

Speaker 2 (23:01):
that shows me a lot no, for sure I love that his
dad's out here.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah, that's not doing that much, it's like he he
really making up for that forthe physical, because that's
what.
Those are the things that areimportant to mothers.
Yeah, and and you know people,I heard that's raising kids and
guardians like it.
You need that backup support,like you.
Like we said earlier with thewth moment no, where is there a

(23:27):
rule book or a guide to being aparent?
But when you always have, whenyou're able to have that other
perspective or that other pointof view, be able to be like,
look, babe, maybe if you try itthis way and be able to call you
out on certain things or helpyou see things from, yeah, like
that is very valuable, like whatand, like you said, it's
important to mothers and justpeople.

Speaker 3 (23:49):
Period, like when we hear those things, like that's
what's important to me.
I'm not worried about aphysical man, I'm not worried
about a physical man or justhaving someone there more than
I'm worried about somebodytaking care of business and
things that I need to take care.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah, one of the hardest things for me personally
being a mom is having all ofthese to-do lists in my head and
all of these millions ofthoughts and things.
So to hear that he can help youorganize those thoughts and
like focus and prioritize andcreate schedules, because
schedules that's one of thebiggest things about you know,
parenting.
Getting on a schedule, I meaneven helping to take some of

(24:25):
that off like that is a bigweight, yeah no for sure I agree
for sure, but for the most partthey would do.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
What do you feel about people saying that you
selfish for um allowing me to bewith you?

Speaker 4 (24:42):
man everybody gonna have their own opinion,
definitely from like me and allthe situations me being locked
up for the moment, for the timeright now.
She's young, she got a lot oflife ahead of her.
Let her live her life.
He's selfish Y'all got a thirdbut for real, for like that,
don't like be on my end.
Like I give her that boost andthat confidence and that push

(25:05):
like hey, boost, boost.
Like you is a face that peopleneed to see on TV and I be
trying to give her that push andI told her before like I want
you to move and I want you tolike expand, like expand like
your brand, like you doing a lotyou stand for like the rock
you're going, like it's asuccessful out and like there's

(25:26):
not too much going on in thatreport.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
So I want her to like go to, like the big cities and
stuff like that, but like so Ishould turn around on me what I
feel like he's saying is that,like he's not holding me back
for anything, because he'sencouraging me, if anything, to
do more and to expand more.
And if I'm having doubts aboutnot going so far because I don't

(25:51):
want to be too far away fromhim, he's like, okay, let's do
this, and he also puts in thateffort, he'll transfer, he'll do
this or offer other suggestions, just things to fulfill and
fill in that distance.
It's just things that we're notfiguring out at that moment.
Basically, he's pushing me tomove forward if anything.
As far as selfish.

(26:12):
Do you feel like it's selfishthat we're together?

Speaker 4 (26:17):
Hell, Paul, I ain't so loose.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
I know that's right.
No, for sure yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah, because y'all's story is giving love at first
sight.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
No, it is.
It's very admirable.

Speaker 4 (26:33):
Oh, yeah, yeah, like.
And then when we young, wedon't even know what love at
first sight was, mm-hmm, thatold saying.
When you know, you know Mm-hmm,old times.
I'm being new, but the young,young, dumb, naive me.
I just let people get in myhead and feel my head away
bullshit, nonsense and let themtell me about my woman.

(26:54):
The whole time I said listen tomy woman, it's a lie, I'll tell
you so he's talking about iswhy we broke up the whole time
I've been through why we brokeup.

Speaker 3 (27:05):
Okay, yeah, whole time off being, though why we
break up I had.
I was talking to a girl whileme and him were in a
relationship.
He told me that he knew I likedwomen, but I was talking to a
girl while me and him wastogether and he knew about it.
I told him or everything, butit's people.
Other people started to findout what he was allowing.

(27:27):
They was getting in his headlike you shouldn't be letting
her do this and that's not rightand just making him feel bad
about that.

Speaker 4 (27:34):
So that that broke us up and to this day we have the
same talk, but like me likegoing, developing and definitely
coming into, like the societyI'm in now, being around all
these other grown men growing uparound all these other grown
men like my mental, like itelevated and developed.
Then I always used to careabout what people think, how

(27:56):
people view me and all that.
Now it's like I don't careabout that no more, like I'm
living my life now.
I used to live with otherusually other people last and
now I'm doing all right.
This is so.
It taught me a lot.
You like your loss or that themenu now can't hear me about men
.
You can't hear me aboutwatching us, only watch you on
the TV.
But watch on.
That's how you.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
I feel like that's big reason why we don't like.
Like when people opinions, Idon't take them into
consideration because I thinkit's a cycle, like you know how
sometimes when you make amistake the first time, you kind
of learn the second time not tolet that same mistake do things
.
So it's kind of like we'velearned that outside people are
going to have a lot of.
They don't make good points too, but it's not a point proven to

(28:39):
me, because your good pointabout you saying like you can't
get to live your life, to youthat's a good point, but to me
I'm doing the same thing, youknow.
So it's not proven.
You know, correct, nobody getsto say something that's
convinced me that I'm doing thewrong thing, because if I'm
happy every day and I'm wakingup and I'm satisfied, I don't
get the problem.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
Correct To come and tell somebody how they're living
their life is wrong or itdoesn't.
Just because it doesn't, it'snot something that you would do
or it doesn't fit what yourordinary lifestyle looks like or
whatever.
At the end of the day, insteadof trying to understand like
okay, you know, for me it's justlike it.
Just, it made me inspired in asense of like wow, there is true

(29:22):
love out there that really doesexist, genuine love.
Where is true love out there,that that really does exist,
genuine love, where someone whodoesn't have that physical
access to another person andregardless of what you know, the
circumstances may look like inthis moment, they still willing
to love that personunconditionally and show that
loyalty and that you know,faithfulness to that person and
be like look I'm, I don't carewhat nobody say, like that's a

(29:45):
beautiful thing in itself.
So for people to want to justhit on all the surface level
stuff that doesn't like thatdoesn't really matter If this
person is happy and they'regenuinely loving this person,
like you said, because theychoose to, not because they feel
forced or obligated.
Because I know you said thatyou have children and he has a
child as well.
So, and some you?
You said that you have childrenand he has a child as well.
So in some, you know, in somepeople's eyes, it's like there's

(30:07):
nothing tying you to each other, and that's where the beauty
lies.
Like there's no nothing.
That is like, oh, I'm obligatedto this person.
I choose to, without of my ownwill, to love this person and
you know, do this thing calledlife with this person.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
We're going to figure it out every day and that's
just what it is right, somepeople have opinions too, and
they, they, they want to um,convince us to do things the way
they they would.
But if I lived for y'all, let'ssay I'll leave my husband alone,
not stop messing with him justbecause you say to do it.
But at the end of the day yougonna still go back and lay with

(30:44):
your life.
You still gonna go and liveyour life how you want to.
And I gotta wake up with abroken heart because I listen to
you you're not fulfilling what,what he was fulfilling.
You don't make me happy like hewas.
So it's like I'm not.
Why would I listen to somebodythat if you have no part of my
life, you don't know what'sgoing on or how I'm living it,
exactlyfully, exactly.

(31:05):
That's another thing we talkabout all day, every day,
because you know a lot of peoplelike they, like us, they love
us and then like a lot of morepeople like they don't want to
see us grow and be successfultogether and be together, type
shit like that.

Speaker 4 (31:19):
So and then another thing we talk about all the time
like all the native things thatpeople do say.
It's like we just take that andturn that like don't let it get
to us.
Like sometimes, like some ofthe things that they say I know
she was trying to roll it offher shoulder but I know like
like you can't help it Like someof the things that people do
say it gets to you.
But at the same time we got toturn this to motivation and just

(31:44):
who they ass want.

Speaker 3 (31:48):
Yes, I just don't like when people lie.
If people say like she outthere, fucking, I know she is,
you don't know me, that beblowing me.
I'm so irritated that be whatthey gonna do.
Yeah, you project it.
Say it as an opinion, not as afact.
When you say it as a fact, Ijust want to go off.
No, don't project it like sayit as an opinion, not as a fact.
Because when you say the fact,I just wanted like go.
Oh.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
No, don't say I'm lying on me, you lying, yeah,
you don't even know me.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah, so I know he messed with somebody in that.
What the whole on let's, let's.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
And that's just that judgment, and that's just like
you know what I'm saying.
It's so sick because, like yousaid, that's just stereotype in
the situation.
Oh, everybody that's in jailfor a long time is messing with
people in jail.
Or if your man in jail, thatfor you know, years on top of
years, you out here sleepingwith somebody, everybody's not
sex crave everybody ain't goteverybody's not.

(32:38):
Yeah, like people got controlover theyself, but some people
don't.
Them be the people that don'tthey be the ones that don't have
the control, and that's how italways is, those judgemental
people that's pointing fingersand saying all this stuff.
They're really just trying tomask their own insecurities and
their own issues.
Cause it be girls out here,baby daddy, go to jail for 15

(32:59):
days.
They don't sleep with Tom, dickand Harry, and you know what
I'm saying.
And if that's your choice,that's your choice, baby, but
don't put that on me.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Right, yes, we've been wanting to do that.
And since we talked about thetime aspect of it, are y'all
able to kind of explain, like Idon't know if you can talk about
the charges, or can you talkabout like how long will you be
away?
Do you know when you guys willbe able to what?

Speaker 3 (33:28):
does that look like?
So we the whole situation.
We can't talk about thesituation that would have
initially, but we can talk aboutthe charges.
So, right now, what was itConspiracy to?
It was conspiracy, it wasrobbery and was conspiracy, it
was robbery and then there wasmurder, but it's a felony murder

(33:50):
charge.
So it's basically like Someonehad died in commission of a
crime, while like a crime wasbeing committed.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Oh, okay, yeah, I've heard of that, and so how?

Speaker 2 (34:00):
How much time did they give you?

Speaker 4 (34:05):
They gave me, they gave me a life sentence.
Okay, like, like they gave me alife sentence, but like
everybody like and thecommission of crime like, if you
is like like this is a felonyand the commission of crime or
somebody, the commission offelony, somebody's bad, then it
turns over to a felony murder.
So when you and it turns overto a felony murder, so when you
and like you got co-defendants,which I had co-defendants, and I

(34:27):
went to trial with one of myco-defendants or whatever, a
joint criminal trial, so if yourco-defendant gets sentenced for
one thing, then youautomatically have to get, by
the time that 10 got to getsentenced, the same thing that
they get sentenced.
Seeing all how, like they duginto my end, dug into all the

(34:47):
evidence that pertained to me,that pointed to me, what they so
thought, they knocked chargesdown from me and gave me a
lesser charge than what theygave a couple other people.
That was on my case.
Why?
Because they were saying thatthere was really no
participation.
They were like there's noparticipation on my end, they
just do something.
Participation on my end.
They just threw something at mebecause of my past People could

(35:10):
change and shit like that.
So they just threw charges atme due to my past, whatever.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
I think the main thing with his case is everybody
on his case has first degreerobbery.
He's the only one with seconddegree because he's planning to
be there doing like a rivalry umalso in normally if, like we
said, with felony murder that'san automatic life sentence,
would you they charge you withwith murder for that?

(35:39):
They didn't charge everybodywith that.
So what I feel like isimportant is they know he didn't
unalive this person.
The mother um wrote a letter onhis behalf and she essentially
defended him.
He said he was a part of theco-defendants trial as well.
So it looked it looks reallybad.
Well, looked it really baduntil we go back to court in oct

(36:02):
.
Okay, so we're looking for,we'll be ready for that, right
In the name of Jesus.
Just to show all the thingsthat should have been taken into
account before.
It's a lot of stuff on thatcase that points and shows with
evidence that he didn't unalivethis person.
So if everybody don't have alife sentence and we see he

(36:23):
didn't unalive this person, doesthat mean that y'all are
letting out person that actuallydid kill the person in there
that didn't?
How is that fair, how is thatjustice and how is that?
That's what the main thing iswith that.
So, without saying too muchyeah, it's done.
Yep, we understand with my suit.

(36:44):
If you don't understand, I wasthere too, then I know that's
right.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
No, really, because, like you said, it just becomes a
matter of like y'all reallyfind this person's life that
invaluable that y'all would justhit him with a life sentence.
Because what?
Because he's a black man inamerica today, like, at the end
of the day, I feel likesometimes it's just to try to uh
make it seem like they'regiving justice to the family.

(37:12):
So it's like if we, we gottacharge somebody with this so
that we can look like we'regiving people justice and the
people out here like that's notjustice, that's not rightful
justice.
That's just you trying to dolike you know what I'm saying.
You trying to make like no, Iultimately the end I career,
feel like in this situationthere's no justice.

(37:32):
Really, be a sir today, I whatthey override a princess of day.

Speaker 4 (37:37):
They override a system so it's easy for them to
hand down a license.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
But it's hella, hella , harsh, dress for over when to
get that license up off you whenyou know you can't do it even
with evidence, like it's, evenwith the the jury, babe, she,
one of the jurors, was relatedto the family, so well, like, so
it's exactly.
How did y'all let that slipthrough?
And they said my husband saidthe judge was laughing and

(38:05):
joking with the family, but thiswas out now.
Granted, she was smart so sheain't do it during the case, but
after, obviously, you know theywant to give them their.
Yeah, during a recess.
I didn't even know that, see,but it's um, what is?
it did y'all ever seen that oneum black judge that hugged that
um police officer?

Speaker 2 (38:24):
I was just talking to somebody about that the other
day.
It was a female police officerthat I think she uh one man's
home.
Well, I don't know if she brokeinto his home or what, but he
was in his own home and she wentto his home and you know, shot
him and he passed away, right.
Yeah, he died and she and it wasa black female judge and she
came down and hugged the policeofficer that was crying, you

(38:45):
know, during the trial andeverything and, yeah, that that
was looked at as like it wasfrowned upon.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
Because, like, people look at the judge like,
although you may feel with this,but you it really makes you
look at it like the judge thatwas handling manny's case, for
instance.
He could have had somethinglike this happen to his family
member before, so he in a sensegetting justice for them too
through his ruling.
Like you never know whatsomebody is going through, you
could have been having a.
I've seen somebody on tiktok.

(39:13):
A judge posted on tiktok.
He said, realizing on my lunchbreak that I didn't have to get
him in three years in jail, Ijust was hangry oh wow and think
that's funny.
Like that's funny and very boldwith stuff like that, because
it's like it's hard to undo shitlike that.
It is it is.

Speaker 4 (39:34):
That's what I was just.
I was just talking to my cellyabout that just like a couple
nights ago.
It's like like us being black,like we really too much don't
have no black judges, reallyLike I'm talking about white
judges and the things thatpeople go through they can't
understand, they can'tcompromise, get off of what a

(39:54):
black child went through, beenthrough and all types of shit
like that, but a black judge can.
So a black judge can show likesome type of compassion or
anything.
Any such case versus a whitejuror who did like automatically
they're going to be theharshest time ever.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
But even sometimes compared, like all having
emotions, like as a human being,in that type of position is
kind of is sometimes the problem, because it's like like I was
saying, if they're relating tooclosely with the case, that can,
that can make their decision.
You got to realize, at the endof the day, with jurors, with
judges, these are human peoplewho have life outside of this

(40:33):
position.
So you never know who irritatedthem.
You never know if they're tired, exhausted, really just trying
to get it over with, just tryingto go it.
You have jurors where they'lljust go.
What the next juror is saying,just like I don't want to keep
prolonging this case, like theywhen you came to a conclusion in
three days, okay, I agree,let's all just go to get on the

(40:54):
same page, but that one jurorcould have could have changed
the whole case if they didn'tagree with everything everybody
else is saying.
So this is a few other humanswho have regular day lives is
responsible for another person'slife.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
They have a little troll over how somebody else's
life how?
Somebody's been the rest oftheir life, and that's insane.
And let me ask you guys, um,how old are y'all?

Speaker 3 (41:15):
I'm 24.
Okay 27.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
Okay, and how long have you been in prison?

Speaker 4 (41:25):
I've been here going on seven years.
I told her seven years, wow,how long have you been in prison
?
I've been in here going onseven years, october 11th is
going to be seven years, wow.
So for seven years you've beentrying to prove your innocence
and like, fight this, likeappeal this Appeal, yeah Right,
wow, like seven years Like itget overwhelming and stressful,
like you feel like you wouldlose yourself just trying to

(41:47):
fight so hard Cause it's likeyou know.
You like what did I go wrongwith?
What did I do?
I didn't do nothing to deserveall this time.
I deserve time like this period, and this is my first time
coming to the prison and I'llcome to prison and this is the
time that you get you know.
But for seven years you fightand fight and fight.
She gets stressed on over whenit's a point you want to give up

(42:09):
.

Speaker 3 (42:09):
But BPMB ain't no more fucking giving up, right
try to use that against him likewhen, um, they you don't have
to go deep into this part, butabout like with him losing his
sister.
They try to use that againstlike with him losing his sister.
They tried to use that againstlike him as a person, like they
feel like he's.
He's not necessarily like adanger to society, but like

(42:33):
moving emotionally, you know.
So they feel like he, he neededto be away from society, in a
sense remaining.
Do you know what I'm talkingabout, babe?

Speaker 4 (42:42):
when they had brought that up in the case yeah, yeah,
they brought up the fact thatsince my sister passed away, oh
well, I drifted off left or Iwent about things in a wrong way
, in a wrong manner, in a wayshape, fashion or form, but
totally like I did that, Likethey painted a picture for me,
they talked for me, they viewedme to the jury in a way that

(43:06):
they wanted to view me.
That's what that's about.
You can't get up and talk withyou how you want to on trial.
You can't just stop and justcorrect somebody right there and
talk down to them Right Likethere's none of that.
You got to sit there and letthem talk for you, Like you
can't just talk like you wantyou, like there's none of that.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
There were him.
He went with a public defenderthat when the other person that
was helping her try to raiseclaims, she was like, no, we're
not gonna do that.
And he had good points.
So it's kind of like she blew it, she, she, I don't know what
but she, she kind of blew it soshe was like she wasn't really

(43:48):
trying to help.
It seem like, but back to likewith his sister that she, she
had passed at a young age and itwas due to gun violence.
So that's why they would usethat and say it like she.
He has, um, dealings withpeople out here and gang
violence and it's just violence,violence, violence around him
and just painting that picturethat he, he needs to be locked

(44:10):
away oh wow, and so how old wasand so he already has.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
He has one child.
Yes, he has a daughter.
He has a daughter.
And so how old was she whenthis happened?
Like, how old is she?
He wasn't.
Like how old is she?
He wasn't born.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
He was 20 when he went to jail and I locked up for
the situation.
He was sentenced at 21 and shewas pregnant then.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
So how is that for?
I mean, I guess y'all married,so how is that for y'all's
daughter?
Do you feel like the kids Imean all the kids do you feel
like they have an understanding?
Do they ask y'all a lot ofquestions?

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Yes, his daughter in particular.
She understands my kids.
They say my youngest son, he'stwo.
He says stuff like I don't knowwhere he learned it at I think
it's Ms Rachel she be teachinghim a lot of stuff.
But he says something aboutjail and the police.
Like he was like, oh, that'sthe police, mama.

(45:14):
And he was like I'm going toput you in jail.
And I said, where did you getthis from?
Because, like we, of course,show him, like you know, super,
what do you get this from?
Because, like we, of course,show him, like you know, um,
this is what it is.
Like you know what I'm saying.
It's not for all bad people.
Some people do bad things andthey do have to go here and I
make sure I explain.
Like it is somewhere you don'twant to be, but just because

(45:35):
you're there.
You're not a bad person always,not not saying everybody there,
but you know, I just want tomake sure he doesn't get that
same view of people of justtrying to prejudge people based
off one, where they add whatthey look like.
I don't like that.
I was bullied when I was a kid,so I don't want him to grow up
and be a bully or tellingsomebody your dad's in jail or

(45:56):
you know like, I've seen kids,stuff like that.
So I want to make sure heunderstands all parts of life
and just you make your owninterpretation of people by your
introduction and yourexperience with them, not based
off somebody else.
So that's where we kind of likelet him get to know him first
and they met through the videofirst and it just eventually he

(46:19):
loves the heck out of me.
He called him dad, he, he, heprefer him over me most of the
time.
So it's just it's real cool tosee you know a kid kids really
do are like genuine people andthey don't and they're so
innocent so I would death.
I don't play by my kids.
Everybody will tell you I donot play by my kids.

(46:41):
So if I felt like this wasseriously like a situation where
I was unsure of, or this maynot be a great person to have my
kids around or just grow uplooking up to, I would not
introduce them at all or havethem around him.
It'd just be some playful stuff.
But marriage is serious.
That's something that's throughgod.

(47:01):
I'm a very spiritual person, Ibelieve in god 100 and I don't
play about stuff like that.
So I made this commitment withmy husband and god before god,
and I made sure this is going tobe somebody I wouldn't mind my
kids mimicking, you know, Iwouldn't mind if they grew up
and they was just like him atall.
I would hope so.
Just because he has thosecharacteristics and how he was

(47:22):
grew up like, he values women,he understands women.
So it is.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
I would rather that now, do you take um?
Do you and the kids go and likesee him?
Do you take his daughter too?
Do you take her to go see him?

Speaker 3 (47:38):
yes, I'm gonna start taking my little sister too.
I haven't took took her, butjust because my sister and his
daughter are really close,she'll tend to want to stay
there longer if she's there.
But she doesn't like to bethere too long.
I think it's just because sheis just a lot.
It's overwhelming for a kid toget those spaces for too long.

(47:58):
So I feel like with hisdaughter.
She know wants to be able toplay freely and you know you
gotta right because you don'twant to.
You don't want her to berunning around and or the kids
to be running around and causinga scene and you being looked.
They tell me you come out ofkids and it's just too monitored
.
So having kids there it's notbad, but it's not somewhere you

(48:19):
want to be for a long time withkids.
You gotta change pull-ups andgo to the bathroom.
You know kids like to keepdrinking stuff and they gotta
pee every two seconds.
It's hard to take kids anywherefor real.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
So like you sit in there, like how long do you sit
yeah?

Speaker 3 (48:41):
I can't sit up in there too long like that.
I sit there with you, but it'sjust.
I don't like people looking atme Like I get nervous.
I am shy, so I can't sit inthere too long without being
like, oh my gosh, they watchingus.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Right, we ain't got no privacy.
We can't just be in a room withjust us, right?

Speaker 3 (48:58):
They can't put us in a room.
They don't have to do that.
They'll put me in a room.

Speaker 4 (49:06):
I'm going to get the bitch took.
No, this is too long.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
No, I didn't know.
They let you rub feet up inthere, they let you do a lot.
Yes, that man took my shoes andmy socks.
I said, no, I'm nervous.
I'm up in here like uh-uh.
Hey, hold on, I don't know.
Like who's that, I'm justscared.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Like I don't, I'm scared so how long were y'all
back together, or how long y'allbeen together and married like
um since y'all got back together?

Speaker 3 (49:41):
we've been married since february.
Yeah, we just got married thisyear.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Well, congratulations , that's fairly recent, yeah,
newlyweds how did that?

Speaker 2 (50:00):
how did y'all like?
How did the?
How did y'all work that out?
How was the proposal like?
Was it just a discussion?
Was it surprised, like man, andyou get answered that?
How did that come about?

Speaker 3 (50:10):
yeah, how did that come about?

Speaker 4 (50:14):
what?
What about?
Like you actually married me,like I don't, like we, like I'm
being her goofy, you you beingme goofy?
I mean, we was like we wastalking, saying something, and I
forgot literally how I lit upto it.
But I was like you better startplaying on Baby Cinema.
I'm going to pay you.
And she's like see ya, bro.

(50:35):
I said I was playing, so wewere talking and talking and
talking and I was like you,forget about that, I'm about far
away.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
So we were talking, and talking, and talking and I
was like she's really about tohit me.
I'm about to overnight, I'mtalking.

Speaker 4 (50:51):
I mean, we talked about before we did it.
We talked about the codes andwe talked about the cars and
it's like oh, we talked aboutall that that surrounds all that
.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
Hell, yeah, we got into that restitution.
I was like, hold on, I have togo pay that shit while you
locked up.
Hold on, we got to pay for allthat shit.
But that's funny, babe, becausenow that I think about it, when
you propose to like theofficial proposal, it's kind of
like when we started dating.
You remember when we was datingand I had we was like talking

(51:23):
and you said something.
I was like we're not in arelationship and I said you
didn't ask me to be yourgirlfriend and you was like so
this whole time we've beentogether, I made you say will
you be my girl?
He was spelling it.
No, you need to spell willW-I-L-L-U-Y-O-U.
You know, high school we wasdoing too much, and I did the

(51:46):
same thing when we was married.
I was like but you neverproposed to me though, so
where's my proposal?
Man, that man had a wholeproposal in the next 30 seconds
of our conversation, Like hejust it be coming from the heart
.
So it's genuine.

Speaker 4 (52:05):
But I be like man your words make somebody's
panties come off in two seconds.
I was like she a baby man.
I'm not going to waste no time.
Like I know, I fucked up in thebeginning on how I let things
off and I always told myself Idon't care who I'm with, I don't
care why I'm mad at my lifewith them.
If I ever get the opportunity,the chance to get her back and

(52:26):
be back with her, they ass gone.
I'm going to get my woman back.
Fuck that.
She amazing, she smart, sheintelligent, she beautiful, she
strong this all that.
Like she is the one she been,the one she eat.
And like I waste time, I'm notgoing to waste no time.

Speaker 3 (52:46):
You should have heard them, babs.
Oh my God, he was shaking.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
And cheesing, I'm sure.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
He was shaking.
I was like I tried to hold hishand and just reassure him.
I was so nervous I don't likepeople watching me so I was like
mine was stronger than his.
Believe that it's trust.
And he was like that little assshit.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
No, and you know what's so crazy?
Because people always, like youknow, oh, when people are in
jail, you know it's just jailtalk, it's just this, this and
that.
Like you, people are in jail,you know it's just jail talk,
it's just this, this and that.
Like you know, they, they justtelling you this because of you
know their situation and this,this and that.
But it's like, like you said,and I don't know if it just
necessarily is a combination ofeverything, like being spiritual
, but to know what it feels likewhen somebody loves you, you

(53:37):
know what.
I'm saying and that and there isno physical, there's nothing
like I said before, there'snothing making this person feel
like they just have to do thatand it's like when you are
connected, in a sense, you knowthe real, you know what's real.
Some people do choose to, justSome people they do.
Some people choose to sellpeople's lives and some people

(53:57):
choose to buy it.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
And I know you know y'all have already made it clear
that you know everybody else'sopinions.
Y'all worried about y'all andwhat y'all got going on, but
when it came to being married,did y'all have a lot of support
from y'all's family on either onboth of y'all's sides?

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Yeah, I feel like we did.
I feel like I haven't seen andthat's that's another thing.
I keep people close to me thatthat's going to give me
supportive advice, even if youdon't agree with anything that
I'm doing.
Support me just because I Ifeel like, even if you don't
support me, hand it to me like,hand it to me in a supportive
way to where it's like my triana.

(54:40):
I know you're wrong.
Are you gonna do whatever youwant to do and I love you
regardless of what you do?
This is my fears with it.
I would love for you to proveme wrong, but do you feel like
this is this, is this, andreassure me of this?
That's the way to come in.
You know, telling me your fearswith things or just things that
you feel like can't work in ain a more positive way.
It's a way that you say thingsdon't say like well, I think

(55:03):
that's just stupid and dumb,because ain't nobody finna be
waiting.
This isn't like.
That's not the way to approachme with a situation.
I I want people that's gonna besupportive with it, just even
if they don't support, like whatI'm saying.
Do you get what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 (55:16):
like they don't have to, yeah you don't gotta support
my situation, but support meand my choice, like allow me to
freely make my choice and knowthat your love for me won't
change or your respect for mewon't change.
Now my true honor.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
Miss ma'am, I am 31 years old and when I tell you
you just gave me a word, likeyou are so mature, that handed
to me lightly, I need to takethat in because I'm such a blunt
person and how you justexplained that people have told
me all the time, like you know,I come off strong, I come, but I
just think that I'm just astraight shooter.
So, but how you just said that,even if you don't agree, like

(55:50):
you can hand it to me lightly,like I, I took some from that.
Thank you, that's something.
I definitely need to work on.

Speaker 3 (55:58):
I told you People tell me that all the time he be
trying to get me to talk topeople in there.
He'll put people on the phonelike, yeah, babe he going
through something.
I'm like, wait, wait, I'msitting here waiting.
Of course I'm a positive person.
I've learned a lot of ways thatI was.

(56:20):
I was approaching people orjust communicating with them.
It wasn't a if.
I'm wanting a result from you.
I don't want to attack you.
Understand where I'm comingfrom and I care and I love you.
But my friends, I getemotionally attached to their
situation.
So I have situations where I'mprobably is tired of hearing the
same thing, but at no pointever have to worry about me not

(56:42):
answering the phone for youbecause I don't want to hear me
not giving you supportive advice.
I don't ever tell my friendsleave that man alone, leave him,
stop talking to him.
That you don't want to hearthat like.
I want to always be your avenueand be somebody that you feel
like you have through this roughtime.
Although I may not agree, Idon't want to make your
decisions for you because if Itell you to leave that man and

(57:03):
he taking care of them kidswhich even though he he'd not
shit to you.
I can't fulfill his spot.
I'm telling you to leave him,but how am I going to help you
get to to where you was at whileyou was with him?
I don't want to be responsiblefor a downfall If it comes from
a decision you made based off myopinion Correct, and that was

(57:23):
me, but I love you.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
That was me, that was me all day.
And I think that as I grew andI mature and I listened to her
and, like her, my friends outsay well, you know, you seem
like this or you seem like this,or you seem like you're judging
, judging me, or you want me todo this and do that.
But, like you said, it's justyou love.
When you love somebody and youlove hard, you like you want to
protect them, you want them tobe like, you want them to have

(57:46):
everything they deserve and it'slike oh, I see that this ain't
what you deserve, but who am Ito say that, when your journey
is supposed to stop with thissituation or whatever, like I
have to allow you to ride thisjourney out, or whatever it is
that the lord is trying toreveal to you in this situation,
whatever lesson, I can't comein between that, because then
you're gonna resent me later andI don't want that I wish we

(58:09):
could have had this conversationyesterday.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
Y'all, because everything we're talking about
god is using.
Y'all, because I just toldsomebody to leave that man
yesterday and I had no business.

Speaker 3 (58:18):
I had no business, my god trying to take you, no, but
that's okay, you, sometimes wejust use our heart first, and
that's okay.
Oh god, don't charge my heart,you know you know I I don't, I
don't know, I just I be tryingto navigate.

(58:40):
I I pray a lot, I try to like,then, as they say, but I don't
know, I like, I just like tocome to like, I don't know,
manage or balance my energybecause I don't like to be upset
.
I don't like to upset otherpeople.
People feel like I'm a peoplepleaser because I don't want to
make nobody mad.
I don't like to bedisrespectful.
I've learned if somebody saysstuff to me, if you send them

(59:03):
comments, I try not to say badthings back.
Somebody.
Somebody says I'm by my mama,though they say she's like a
street walker.
I had to go there because hermom was like ain't, no way you
say my mom, I just had I had nobeautiful and she looks so young
like nothing about her gaystreetwalker nothing, but it was

(59:24):
the pimp suit, it was the um,the fur.
Yes, why did you go up here likethis?
What I'm saying, you know itnever gave streetwalker, though
I had to go to her mama picturesand I, just I went there.
But most people I don't do thatbecause I know God got a funny

(59:45):
way to put stuff back on you andmaking you feel the words you
made somebody else feel, so and.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
I did want to just go back to like I know, montreana,
you said you had a lot ofsupport from your family.
Manny, did you had a lot ofsupport from your family, manny?
Did you have a lot of supportfrom your family, too, when it
came to the whole?

Speaker 4 (01:00:11):
Proposing and getting married.
My auntie, cousin, all them, myex-boyfriend straight up.
I'm like, man, I got, like Iain't say it's out there, like
y'all support me in my situation, like I need you to marry while
I'm locked up, my auntie, I'mlike, yeah, we support you like

(01:00:31):
we never.
Like ain't nobody in our familymarried, so by me being married
, me being who I am, they'relike you as you sure you want to
get married, you sure you don'tget married, I, you don't want
to wait, you come home.
I told they at hell, no, Iain't gonna wait till I come
home.
Like, no, I want to get marriedright now.
I feel it, I want it, I'mtouching it, I want it, I need

(01:00:54):
it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Like that thing.
We was waiting till you gethome.
It's like we doing this now forus and god, like we're gonna be
if I'm not doing no wifey stuffwithout being a wife.
Hey, there's a lot of womenthat's that's being a girlfriend
and they going out of their wayand doing all this and doing
all that.

(01:01:14):
We've had that conversationlike the only way we can ensure
it and I know that you'reserious and we're seeing,
because I never made him stoptalking to nobody.
Initially I thought we were justgonna be like you know, talking
, we're gonna work our way backinto a relationship eventually,
but we, off the bat, we just waslike and that's what I

(01:01:40):
appreciate about you, babe, thatyou told them women like I
never told him that, but youknow how we always want the man
to make that move, like Ishouldn't have to tell somebody,
I shouldn't have to tell you hedid it.
I never said nothing about theother women, I never really knew
about them.
Like that.
He just was like, babe, I didthis, I did this and but he let

(01:02:01):
them know it's a lot of men thathave just dropped people and
they won't give them anexplanation or they won't like
give them that closure and hewas right.
And another thing he because hewas saying like they know who I
am, he's never been a cheater.
In no relationship has he evercheated on anybody, even his ex.
We had a conversation and sheeven said that like she gave him

(01:02:22):
his problem.
He's not a cheater, he don't dothat.
So that that was in a fear ofmine too, because they'll say
how do you know he's not talkingto other women.
I don't have that fear.
I don't fear him beingdishonest because he tells me
stuff.
So it's like I don't feel likeI need to have that part of with
him yeah, that's important,that communication and that

(01:02:44):
trust.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
That's very important my father's family.

Speaker 4 (01:02:50):
I feel like I do got this support.
I feel like I do like thissupport, that's good.

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
That's good.
That's always important.
You know to have that supportand other people because, like
you said, at the end of the daythere's always going to be the
negative, there's always goingto be the haters, there's always
going to be those people thattry to bring you down because
they're not happy.
So when you got those peoplegenuinely rooting for you, you
like that don't really matter tome.
Like these people know me, theyknow what I stand for, they

(01:03:19):
understand this union.
Like I ain't worried about thatExactly.
But, like being married tosomebody, of course you need
family support, friend support,like other family support as
well.

Speaker 4 (01:03:34):
So like that kind of situation like this, you need
support for real, for real.
So like that's a situation likethis, you need support for real
, for real.
Shit do get hard, shit do getoverbearing and stressful.
But I mean I can't let my angertake control while I'm doing
this time, because that's goingto be hard on me, it's going to
stress me out.
My son she's big on energy andshe pick up my energy as soon as

(01:03:54):
I say hello, hey, what's up.
What's up, what's up?
Oh wow, I ain't even going togo into a conversation.
What's wrong?
Like she pick me up on thatenergy.
She's dope.
Like I can't be mad at her andlet too much of this energy and
anger that's other things goingon Pursue me and stress me out
when I got other big problemsgoing on.

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
So if that don't stress me out, why would I let
other shit stress me out?
That's kind of what led us towell, to me to responding to
when you all had reached out andstuff.
Because I'm like, like I said,I'm big on energy and like I
have to read something a coupletimes before I respond, or just
fill it out or pray on it, and Iask God like, is this for this
for me?
You know, like I have to,because some people don't have

(01:04:41):
the best intentions.
You know, or some people willlike reach out to us and they
they're more more worried aboutmaking it like a a controversial
topic to have other peopleattack us.

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
You know what I mean and I did not feel that at all,
so it would it made it easier tolike communicate and move
forward, basically yes I'm likeliterally fighting back tears
because I that you guys are thesecond guest that we've had that
, have said that and we havebeen digging into a lot of like

(01:05:12):
deeper topics and, like I saidin the beginning of the podcast,
that's always been been theintention.
Like for me, I felt called byGod to create this platform to
be able to, um, you know, havethese conversations and, like I
said, learn how other people areliving their lives and like
what works for other people andlike just being of some support.

(01:05:33):
Like, at the end of the day, Iknow that, regardless, I'm not,
you know, the picture perfectperson and I love to be able to
share my testimony and I love tobe able to, for other people to
share their testimony with me.
And so for a guest to come onand say, no, not only did I
listen to your podcast and youhave good content, or this is an
ad, or I feel like you're,you're doing this, it's like

(01:05:56):
they felt led spiritually andthat's what I want.
I don't want no one to come onto the podcast because we have a
million views, or we are doingthis, or we're interviewing this
person or that person.
We want people to feel, youknow, called to be and sit with
us and conversate with us,because really that's what the
goal is.
Right, he said where y'alllocated.
I agree with that 100%.
I definitely feel led, becausereally that's what the goal is.

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
Right.
He said where y'all located.
I agree with that 100%.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
I definitely thank you so much.
We're in Columbus Ohio.

Speaker 4 (01:06:30):
I like y'all they're trying to make us cry and.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
I can't we emotional it's not the right weekend it's
just a lot of emotions.

Speaker 4 (01:06:44):
Y'all made me drop the phone.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
I ain't gonna put some more money on this we thank
you so much, manny, for talkingwith us.
We didn't, like we said, wedidn't expect that.
We would have never even askedfor that.
We appreciate you.

Speaker 4 (01:07:03):
Is our business going to end right now?

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
Yeah, he said we missed it, we got to hang up
right now.
No, nope, we don't have to hangup right now.
Did the phone hang up?

Speaker 3 (01:07:15):
No, he's about to hang up, he was just playing.

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
I want to play more about, like I know, montreal you
said you're like uh, did yousay you're an entrepreneur?

Speaker 3 (01:07:35):
well, yes, I got.
I'm about to start thisclothing situation here soon and
break.
Yeah, I sell hair as well yes,I seen your picture.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
I'm like her hair is slayed.
So do you do hair or you justsell it?

Speaker 3 (01:07:48):
I just sell it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:49):
Oh so you got a good girl down there that's slaying
your hair yes, I have a coupledifferent hair stylists but, I
typically go to Chicago Backhome to get my hair done.

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
Okay, because I was going to say when you said you
were in Iowa.
I didn't know, I didn't knowthere was a lot of Black people
in Iowa.
I'm going to just be honestwith you.

Speaker 3 (01:08:12):
Yes, my stylist Shamel.
She's In Iowa and she be doingmy Wow.
That's who did my hair in theum the yeah, don't judge.
Okay, she all right.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
Nope, yeah, my sister was just in iowa last weekend
with her friends and that's whyI said I said where you at um?
And she said iowa.
And I said where, because Inever heard nobody like going
down that Iowa kick.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
She said she had a good time like I would think
that would be such a cultureshock to go from.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
You said you're from, but Iowa is what?

Speaker 3 (01:08:45):
an hour away from Chicago it's about two and a
half, so it's about three, butit's not where I'm at.
In Iowa they have horrible food.
I have no good.
Yes, they only got a couplegood places out here.
It's so gross I hate it.
It's affordable, but the foodis gross.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
What?
How long have you been in Iowa?
Since 2019.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Okay, and you moving there, was it something Go ahead
?

Speaker 3 (01:09:16):
No 2009.
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:09:22):
And you moving there?
Did it have something to dowith, like, being closer to
manny or something, or did youalready know about something
that I would like?
What made you pick, choose to?

Speaker 3 (01:09:28):
move here.
My mom found a three-bedroomhouse.
It was five hundred dollars.
Oh, yeah, you said iowa.
Okay, yeah, that was 2009, butyeah, he moved um because of
that.
That was really it.
My aunt had lived here and sheshe said it was affordable and
it was safer because we're inchicago and she got a son and it

(01:09:50):
was just much going on.
She wanted a differentenvironment and experience.
So she moved us to iowa.
And it was so crazy becauseit's like I feel like that man
was made for me, so it was likeI was supposed to come.
Not, I was supposed to comedown before I was supposed to go
to that school.
Everything was supposed tohappen.
I used to pray when we hadbroken up, because I've always
been very close to God.

(01:10:11):
I used to pray all the time webroke up, like if it's meant to
be, it'll come back to me.
And it's so crazy because Ialways tell him that and I thank
god and I'm like you alwayscome through.
Even I was telling him if it'snot for me, okay, I wasn't gonna
accept that.
I know you got something better, but I ran into several
relationships and I feel like hewas building both of us up for

(01:10:32):
each other because I needed togo through the things that I
went through.
So I had to talk to a man and,just like a masculine man that's
soft with me, I've always beenthe the hard person and the one
that's often like I'm checkingthe nigga.
But I dealt with him and I hadto learn.
I had to learn to just pipedown and allow the man to be a

(01:10:52):
man.
But I'm only gonna allow you tobe a man if you you get me in
that soft girl area.
You you got to treat me right.
So I've learned.
But yes, I feel like he didthat for a reason we weren't
supposed to be together in highschool.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
We needed to go through that Absolutely, and I
think that you are so wise, Ithink that at your young age you
are teaching a lot of peoplethings like you know what I'm
saying and just differentperspective is so it's so deep
and I it just makes me thinkback because I feel like I
wasn't quite as young as you butI had somebody that I had a

(01:11:29):
friendship with since I was achild, like 12 years old and it
was.
You know we was callingourselves, you know, boyfriend,
girlfriend at a young age.
But it was just this.
It was like it was deeper thanthat.
It was like a friendship and wealways, no matter how long we
would go without speaking, wewould always reconnect and catch

(01:11:50):
up and it'll be like no timehad passed.
And when we reconnect, the lasttime he was in prison doing a
bid and you know, like you said,you know we connected and after
so, after so many months oftalking and you know, the
conversation came up if wewanted to pursue a relationship
now as adults, even with himbeing in his situation, and in
my mind I thought I could do it.

(01:12:11):
I thought I could do it.
I, you know, I was used toliving my life a certain way.
I had only been with my child'sfather for so long and so I'm
like, okay, yeah, like I knowthat the love is there, the
connection is there.
Why not?
It's going to be easy, you know, and you know, after some time
passed, it just got harder forme and I felt like, in that

(01:12:33):
sense, I felt him and I feellike I understand where I went
wrong about not being honest,like, okay, this isn't really
working for me too much, like Ithought it would be easier.
But I am a very, like,emotional person and I'll be.
I was going through a lot of thetime and I'm like I feel like I
physically need someone here,but really what I should have

(01:12:55):
been leaning on is like at thattime, is leaning on the Lord,
praying about it, and I didn'tdo that and I feel like that
tarnished our friendship and andit, it, it's messed up because
I can understand where he'scoming from.
Like I'm in the worst spot inmy life right now.
I feel like everybody turningback on me and he just didn't
expect that from me.
So even like you being so youngand being able to say, look, I

(01:13:18):
trust the God every way, fromthe beginning to the end, like I
pray, I spoke with God about it, like I can respect that and I
love that, I love there'snothing more.
I love to hear a young woman, ayoung man say is like I was
calling on the Lord because hereI am, I was getting advice from
other people and they liketelling me what people telling
you they're like girl, what youthis, you that you got this

(01:13:43):
going for yourself.
You don't need that you know, Idon't know, I was probably
supportive because I feel, likeyou were supportive because of
the person, because you knew himand you knew our situation.

Speaker 2 (01:13:50):
But I feel like you was kind of like because you
really think you're gonna, youknow, I feel like that's how you
was coming right, because evenfrom you know, hearing y'all's
situation of matriana, like eventhis, is making me, and that's
why it's so great to have theseconversations, because it's a
this hearing y'all's perspectiveand everything.
It's really, you know, changes,some thoughts and things that I

(01:14:11):
would have.
You know what I mean, because Idon't know if I was in your
situation, just to be blunt andput it out there, I don't know
how I could have handled that.
You know what.
I mean but to even hear y'all onthe phone, you can hear y'all's
love like you can hear y'all'sconnection like it's.
It's really I'm very, it'scontagious yes yes, y'all

(01:14:32):
smiling g with me and kind oflike because you know it's, it's
one-sided to people.

Speaker 3 (01:14:45):
So I feel like a lot of people's perspectives would
be different if they heard himspeak, because now it just looks
like, oh, this girl the lulu,and he's feeding her stuff and
you never, they don't hear himand how he communicates and just
how he talks and his maturityand just how he he averages,
like he's the other little sideof me, so that's, that's another

(01:15:07):
thing.

Speaker 4 (01:15:07):
But when they, when they be like, oh, she just moves
on, she naive, she dumb, yada,yada, yada for being about her
by his side while he locked upand did that in the third and I
go back to what you're sayingit's like what makes you happy,
who makes you happy?
What level makes you happy?
But in all actuality, everybodyin this world is dumb and
delusional for the motherfuckerthat they with in a way.

(01:15:28):
You better say it so.
So that's something that, likethat told me for a little bit.
It's like how can you talk downon somebody in that situation?
You messing with dude and heall messing with your cousin,
your sister, your auntie, yourfriend and you at home waiting

(01:15:52):
on him to come back home, andyou just don't know the
situations, calling you orwhatever the situation may be.

Speaker 3 (01:15:56):
You just don't know the situations.
And people definitely projectand they put a lot of stuff off
on us that they've done to otherpeople or they have experience
in their relationships andexpect me to just be like okay,
I'm going to make a decision andyou're not married.
You try to tell me you done had16 boyfriends and baby daddies
Well, not boyfriends, but babydaddies and you got me.

(01:16:16):
You didn't have 16 boyfriendsand baby daddy well, not
boyfriends, but baby daddies andyou got 27 kids.
And I'll post a list to youabout telling me that he me.
You gotta right, I'm not aboutto do that.
No, and this felt like that Ilove.
I've talked to a lot of marriedcouples.
I talked to a lot of justcouples.

(01:16:38):
I've talked to a lot of peoplethat have been married for years
and the first thing they say iscommunication.
And the second thing they sayis do not argue over little
things and fight hard, becauseit is okay to have disagreements
, but they always say like ify'all could get past it and you
could get over it in that nextsecond, don't make it a big deal

(01:16:58):
.
You never know when it's goingto be your last day with your
spouse.
Take advantage of having thattime.
I talk to older people on thephone all the time, and that's
the first.
That's what they say all thetime and I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
So I'm giving advice to them For sure, and, like he
said, being delusional for lovebecause if you want to take it
back to the biblical days, youknow what I'm saying even adam
was delusional.
I mean, he ate that apple aftergod told him don't eat, but
because his wife told him, theserpent told me, that this apple

(01:17:31):
will bless us, it will give usall the things that god don't
want us to have.
He ate that of that apple andtried to be like, but she said
no, yeah, she told you and youwent for it because you was the
little one for that love youknow.

Speaker 3 (01:17:45):
But now we all gotta suffer from that.
We all gotta have pain forperiod.
Listen, why not?

Speaker 1 (01:17:53):
listen, you know, but it all ends up being worth it
because, like you said, that'strue love you.
You don't come by that.
You don't come by that toooften, especially like I say,
and nowadays everybody's fixatedwith the money and getting a
bag or what he buying you, andthis is that nobody wants.
Social media yeah, nobody wantsto emotionally really tap in,

(01:18:15):
for whatever reason, maybe afear of being heartbroken or
hurt, or fear of beingvulnerable or whatever.
And but at the end of the day,what is life without love?
You know, real, genuine, truelove y'all are dope, y'all are
dope.
I'm so happy we did this.

Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
We're gonna have to do a uh, we're gonna have to get
later on too and get some um,what do you call it?

Speaker 1 (01:18:41):
uh, follow up follow up um yeah that was amazing yeah
, we.
So we thank you guys again somuch for taking the time out to
speak with us.
I know that this is the timey'all usually get to speak and
I'm you know, that the Lord wasable to deliver that energy
between us.
You know too, because I reachout to you, know people all the

(01:19:04):
time and I do that to the peoplethat I feel called.
So it's it's.
It goes both ways.
If I I see a lot of topics, alot of stuff, like I said, that
people talking about that, Ifeel like, ooh, this would be a
good or this would get a lot ofattention.
But for me that's not.
Like I said, that's not mypriority.
I don't want to just do things,just to do it.
I'm here to serve a purpose andI ain't trying to do nothing

(01:19:27):
that ain't you know, because I'mnot trying to miss my mark.
So I definitely.
Anything that I feel you know,anybody that I've reached out to
, is because I felt led to aswell, and the fact that is
reciprocated and that it wasable to come to fruition.

Speaker 3 (01:19:41):
I will always appreciate you guys for that yes
, and when you get out, wedefinitely be interested in the
part two period, period.

Speaker 1 (01:19:52):
We we here for we rooting for y'all definitely I
followed you, so I willdefinitely be, you know, keeping
up, you know from a distanceand yeah do you want to share?

Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt, but did you
want to share your instagram foranybody else that's listening
that might want to follow, doyou?

Speaker 3 (01:20:10):
um, my instagram is at ibtree tree, so I b?
E t-R-E.
His is on there too.
I think it's like Moneybag, yougonna.
I tag him all the time, yougonna feel, you gonna feel.
But that's my TikTok too, andmy Facebook is Montreana Cobra.

Speaker 2 (01:20:27):
Okay, yep, I found him, you right.
You sure do tag him.
He got some long hair.
Yep, it's Moneybag2x.

Speaker 3 (01:20:35):
Yep, jeff is money bag two times two X, yep, see,
yep, that is exactly it.

Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
Yep I just followed you.

Speaker 1 (01:20:43):
Thank you, yes y'all Tap in with Montriana.
She got her clothing linecoming through she got her hair,
that hair look good.

Speaker 3 (01:20:54):
I'm about to get on in with that that curly hair.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
I was loving that so.
I'm about to order me some, forsure, yes, I appreciate it.

Speaker 4 (01:21:00):
Thank y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:21:01):
Thank y'all, no problem, I'm praying for y'all
and y'all's babies and y'all'ssituation and y'all definitely
y'all got y'all supporters overhere.
I'm definitely supporting andencouraging y'all no-transcript.

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