mini: how to find a therapist + start therapy

welcome to the new mental health minis series! every other monday, we will feature a five-minute mini-episode with content from a past she persisted episode. this week’s guest is dr. justin puder– a licensed psychologist who works with teens and young adults around many mental health difficulties including anxiety, depression, trauma, and loneliness.

in this mini-episode, you'll learn his tips for teens on starting therapy and how parents can help in this process. 

to listen to the full episode, click ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠!

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Happy Monday and welcome to yourmental Health Mini.
This week's guest is Doctor Justin Pooter and we are talking
all about therapy. What is your advice to teens
that are entering or beginning therapy?
What is your advice to both parents and teens in that
situation? It's such a great question.
This is important. I would want you to be able to

(00:20):
pause and ask yourself, what do I want?
What gets confounded for a lot of the teens is what your mom
wants for you. What your dad's telling you need
to change. What your teachers are telling
you at school needs to be different.
It's different when you can kindof pull back from that and say,
but what is it that I'm sitting with that I would want to be

(00:40):
different. And sometimes it's different.
Things come out. Some people be like, I would
like to be in a relationship. That's not what my mom's sending
me here for. That's not why I originally
walked through this door. But I would like to feel good
enough, confident enough that I could date somebody and be in a
relationship That's different because when you go inward and

(01:02):
you're like, how could this therapy really help me?
When you make progress along those lines, you really see how
therapy can be transformative versus when we're changing
something for someone else, which is the unfortunate burden
that gets put on a lot of the teens in having the conversation
of the what would be different? What would change?

(01:24):
I start to get a feel right awayfor how specific of goals people
have. Is it general like I want to
build self-confidence and even in that you can set specific
goals along the way of what would it mean?
How are you defining self-confidence for yourself of
like, well, I'd start talking topeople in my classes.
That's OK, Yeah. So what class are we talking

(01:44):
about? You know what I mean?
Scaling that goal even back of is there a specific person?
Like is there a way we start to build up to you asking someone
on a date? Because usually there's a lot of
steps of people feeling comfortable in their skin
between them. But you start to get a feel
early on the people being like, yeah, I can't, I'm not sleeping.
And that's really bothering me. And then it's what are the

(02:06):
reasonable steps and things we can get curious about now and
the things we can start testing,which is something I think a lot
of people in therapy don't quiteunderstand if they're new to
therapy, is you are experimenting as much as like, I
have this education and I can know the science and this and
that. I can't know exactly what's

(02:28):
going to work for Sadie. I can't.
We can get curious, we can test things out.
We can be like, how about we stop scrolling an hour before
bed and you might come back after a week and be like, it
didn't really make a difference.And then we're going to look at
some other things. We're like, what about let's
look at caffeine intake? And you're like, Oh yeah, I tend
to like having my dunk. Crew before bed.
I have my cold girl 5. What's the big deal?

(02:50):
Right? But these are the It's the
curiosity in therapy and the experimentation in your life
that leads to change because it's not the same for everyone.
And I think that's what makes therapy so interesting, so
unique. But understanding that when you
go into therapy that there'll bethings you have to test out and
you might not know how it's going to like, what the

(03:12):
outcome's going to be. And some might work better or
worse for you. That is real therapy is the
experimentation. And so with the parents, this
might feel weird for parents. Let your teen pick the
therapist. Trust me on this, let them pick.
I know you. You can even show them

(03:34):
psychologytoday.com. Just scroll some profiles.
If it feels overwhelming for them.
You could even like, it feels like a line up in a way, but you
could show them, send them 10 profiles or five if they don't
even want to do that work. There is.
The therapeutic relationship is so important with change.
It's the number one predictor ofoutcomes.
So if the parents pick the therapist, as soon as the team

(03:57):
walks in the room, they take onelook at them and they're like, I
don't feel comfortable with thisperson.
We know those factors exist and as much as you'd say, well, you
get to know them, try it. It's different when you empower
your team to be like, I'm going to let you pick again.
I can show you the resources or whatever, but let you choose.
It is a relationship, meaning with most relationships it takes

(04:19):
time. I have to get to know you.
I got to know your narrative. I got to know the things you
like and dislike and and get to know your personality.
Therapy is the same because every person is different.
And so the way you implement changed and the way you
emotionally, cognitively arrive in that session, you got to have
that therapeutic relationship for it to be effective.

(04:41):
So I, I'd want teens to know that the relationship building,
it doesn't happen in that first like 5055 minute session.
It it does take time. If you enjoyed this week's
mental health mini, you can listen to the full episode.
It is episode 167 featuring Doctor Justin Pooter.
A link to the full episode is inthe show notes.
As always, make sure to leave a review, subscribe, share with a

(05:03):
friend or family member, and follow along at at Sheep
Resisted Podcast. Thanks for listening.