October 27, 2024 • 15 mins
Join me as I chat about what it takes to keep the passion alive in marriage and the heart of true intimacy. Through real talk I'll dive into practical ways you can keep the fire burning in your bedroom from a God-centered perspective. I'll also break down barriers that can prevent you from having a sex life that is full of passion and I'll explain why great sex should start with an open heart, trust and a willingness to grow closer with your spouse.
Biblical Scripture: "I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened and if the pomegranates are in bloom - there I will give you my love." (Song of Solomon 8:6).
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Ladies, your natural instinct is to worry You worry
about your children, yourhealth, your relationship, and
everything else under the sun.
It's a classic case of worryWart syndrome if you tend to
worry needlessly you not alone.
Welcome to the She Strives withFaith Podcast with Bethea
(00:23):
Jackson. Bethea is a two timedivorcee single mother and war
veteran who suffered fromanxiety, but learned to let go
and let God Bethea will share,captivating and down to earth
conversations on how to striveby faith. Here's your host,
Bethea Jackson.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Hello, beautiful.
Ladies, welcome back to the SheStrives with Faith podcast. I'm
your host, lady b Celeste.
Ladies. Ladies, ladies, have Igot a hot topic for you today?
Let's talk about somethingthat's on a lot of people's
minds, keeping great sex alivein marriage. My sister friends
(01:24):
always ask me, girl, how didyou keep the fire going when
you were married? Hey, listen,let's face it, we all know that
over time, routine sets in lifegets busy. We become mothers,
we're working, going to school.
And listen, sometimes thatspark can feel more like a
(01:45):
flicker, if you know what Imean. You know, I always tell
my sister friends that greatsex begins with great hearts.
It starts with the heart of Godwho wants his love and life to
flow into every part of ourmarriage, including our
physical connection. And thenit's about our own hearts, both
(02:07):
partners willing to let Godshape them from the inside out.
When we do that, the passion weshare feels deeper, more
fulfilling, and it sets thestage for an intimacy that's
more than just physical. Now,listen, when I was married, sex
(02:27):
was my favorite activity, baby.
But looking back, I realized Ididn't fully understand
intimacy. You see, I grew up ina family that didn't discuss
it. So most of what I learnedcame from Harlequin romance
novels. My mom bought me thosenovels and I devoured them
getting lost in those storiesof heroes, sweeping women off
(02:50):
their feet. Oh my goodness, I'deven walk miles to the library
just to get more of them. Thosenovels, baby, were my main
education on love and intimacy,and some were pretty steamy.
But as much as I love thosestories, they didn't teach me
(03:12):
the full picture. They didn'tshow me the deep God-given
design for intimacy that I nowunderstand. I thought that if
you love someone, you simplyhad sex with them, and that was
all there was to it. I had noidea how to build real God
center intimacy. And you know,the Bible doesn't hold back.
(03:36):
When it comes to intimacy, itactually celebrates it. Take
the Song of Solomon, forexample. It's full of beautiful
language that captures realpassion and connection. Song of
Solomon, chapter one, verse twosays, Ooh , let him kiss me
with the kisses of his mouth.
(03:57):
For your love is moredelightful than wine
girlfriend. That's not just ametaphor. It's a reminder that
God made intimacy to be fullyenjoyed and deeply shared, but
deeply shared by marriedpeople. Some of y'all might not
agree with me on that, but I'mjust keeping it real and I'm
(04:19):
keeping it biblical Anyway. Sohow do we keep that connection
alive? Well, let me give yousome practical ways. Number
one, show appreciation openlyin the Song of Solomon. The
couple is constantly expressingtheir admiration for each
other. When's the last time yougenuinely told your spouse that
(04:40):
you love about , um, when yougenuinely told your spouse what
you love about them? Becausewhen you say it out loud, it
keeps the spark alive and itfuels the attraction on both
sides. Number two, you gottasee sex as a gift to each
other. You see, the Biblespeaks about intimacy as
(05:03):
something that's about giving,not just taking. One .
Corinthians chapter seven,verse three says, the husband
should fulfill his marital dutyto his wife, and likewise the
wife to her husband. It's aboutloving each other selflessly,
which naturally creates a cycleof love and trust and desire,
(05:25):
and it keeps that flame burninggirl. Number three, build
anticipation. In Song ofSolomon, there's this sense of
waiting and excitement. Littlegestures like planning time
alone, sending a sweet messageor doing something unexpected.
(05:46):
All of that can keep thatanticipation alive. And girl,
it doesn't have to be nothingelaborate, just something
intentional that buildsexcitement. That's all. Number
four, nurture emotionalintimacy. Physical closeness
naturally flows from emotionalcloseness. And so when you take
(06:10):
time to talk, listen and trulyconnect, it strengthens the
foundation for intimacy that'sdeeply satisfying for you and
your man, your husband. Okay,number five, pray together
about your intimacy. Now, thisone might feel a little strange
at first, but inviting God intothis space is powerful. You
(06:35):
see, when we pray together, itstrengthens our unity and helps
us align our desires with God'spurpose for our relationship.
So keeping great sex aliveisn't about learning new
techniques or following ascript, although it is kind of
fun learning new positions andthings like that . Oh , okay.
(06:57):
Did I say that? I sure did.
Anyway, let me keep it moving.
So, like I said, it's not aboutfollowing a script, it's not
about being robotic, it's aboutcreating a connection that's
authentic, trusting and alignedwith God's design. You know,
(07:19):
the Bible says that the bedroomis undefiled, right? So you can
have all the fun you want , doall the crazy acrobatic things
that you want to do if you'rethat flexible, okay, let me be
good. I'm misbehaving. Let meget back to what I was saying.
Anyway, so what I was saying isthat in order to keep that
(07:46):
spark alive, and if you want toenjoy every bit of what God
intended for intimacy in themarriage, you have to let the
passion flow naturally. Okay?
I'm not talking aboutpornography 'cause we don't
(08:07):
want that in our marriage.
Mm-hmm. That's not good. Butlet you know, just let it be.
Just let it flow and benatural, okay? You don't have
to compete with anybody youknow, it's just you and your
husband just having a great oldtime, just loving on each
(08:27):
other. Just like it says in theSong of Solomon. There is no
shame in what you do in yourbedroom. So listen ladies, I
hope this was helpful becausesex is a great thing that God
intended for men and women toenjoy. And I know that some
(08:53):
women are afraid to exploresexual intimacy on a deeper
level. They're afraid toexplore different , um, things
that they can do in the bedroomto enhance their sexual
intimacy with their husbands.
But you cannot be approved. Youjust can't, you know, be
(09:15):
adventurous. You know, dosomething that you hadn't done
before. Have fun with it, girl.
And make sure y'all putting onlingerie. Listen, don't be
wearing no head wrapped to bed.
Don't be wearing them flannelpajamas. No, no, no. Burn that
(09:38):
stuff. Put it in the furnace.
Cut it up and throw it in thetrash. You gotta keep the flame
alive by giving him somethingthat is going to cause him to
(10:03):
desire you. You know, and I'mtelling you, wearing flannel
pajamas or flannel nightgown, Idon't know if that's gonna
work, ladies. So go toVictoria's Secret or some other
(10:26):
place that sells beautifullingerie and invest, invest in
you some lingerie. Invest inyou a nice , um, negligee. You
(10:46):
know what I'm saying? Ain'tnothing wrong with that. And
for some of you religious girlswho have been told that sex is
dirty or evil, or some of youhave been told that as a wife,
you are just supposed tosubmit, give him sex whenever
he wants. Lay there like a log.
(11:08):
Just do it. Get it over withbecause that's your wifely
duty. I feel for you ladies.
Like, I feel bad for youbecause that is misinformation.
That's not how God intended itto be. So my prayer is that you
(11:30):
would get rid of that advicewherever you got it from,
whoever you receive that from.
Get rid of that. Don't believeit. Don't accept it. Sexual
intimacy should be fun andenjoyable. But if there is
(11:53):
something that your husband isasking you to do as it relates
to , um, having sex, and if itmakes you feel uncomfortable,
then that requires openness andtransparency. And you're going
(12:13):
to have to have thatconversation with your husband
no matter how difficult itmight be. You gotta tell him,
I'm not comfortable with that.
I don't want to do that. Andjust be honest and prayerfully,
if he loves you, then he'llunderstand. But you shouldn't
(12:35):
be made to do anything orparticipate in something that
makes you feel uncomfortable,period. Point blank . And so
you have to be assertive inthat way, in a loving way. So
hopefully your husband, againwill be understanding. But
anyway, girl, that's it. Iain't got nothing else to say
(12:56):
about that other than have fun,enjoy sex. God made it fun. He
made it enjoyable. And youknow, go with the flow. Go with
the flow. Don't be don't beshy, don't be, you know, afraid
to try new things. Alright ? Sothat's what I have for you
(13:21):
ladies today. I hope this washelpful. And , um, please do
share this podcast with othersister friends. Okay? So until
we meet again, keep faith alivegirl, and keep that flame
flowing in that marriage. Allright? Don't let the flame go
(13:41):
out. Keep the sex on fire.
Alright , I'll catch y'alllater. Bye for now.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Thank you for listening to the She Strives
with Faith Podcast. To hearmore about how you can tap into
the power of striving withFaith, join her next week. If
you found value in the episode,give her a rating or tell a
friend about the show. FollowBethea on Facebook and
Instagram for a more personalchat. Until next time, strive
(14:14):
to keep faith alive.
Ladies, your natural instinct is to worry You worry
about your children, yourhealth, your relationship, and
everything else under the sun.
It's a classic case of worryWart syndrome if you tend to
worry needlessly you not alone.
Welcome to the She Strives withFaith Podcast with Bethea
(00:23):
Jackson. Bethea is a two timedivorcee single mother and war
veteran who suffered fromanxiety, but learned to let go
and let God Bethea will share,captivating and down to earth
conversations on how to striveby faith. Here's your host,
Bethea Jackson.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Hello, beautiful.
Ladies, welcome back to the SheStrives with Faith podcast. I'm
your host, lady b Celeste.
Ladies. Ladies, ladies, have Igot a hot topic for you today?
Let's talk about somethingthat's on a lot of people's
minds, keeping great sex alivein marriage. My sister friends
(01:24):
always ask me, girl, how didyou keep the fire going when
you were married? Hey, listen,let's face it, we all know that
over time, routine sets in lifegets busy. We become mothers,
we're working, going to school.
And listen, sometimes thatspark can feel more like a
(01:45):
flicker, if you know what Imean. You know, I always tell
my sister friends that greatsex begins with great hearts.
It starts with the heart of Godwho wants his love and life to
flow into every part of ourmarriage, including our
physical connection. And thenit's about our own hearts, both
(02:07):
partners willing to let Godshape them from the inside out.
When we do that, the passion weshare feels deeper, more
fulfilling, and it sets thestage for an intimacy that's
more than just physical. Now,listen, when I was married, sex
(02:27):
was my favorite activity, baby.
But looking back, I realized Ididn't fully understand
intimacy. You see, I grew up ina family that didn't discuss
it. So most of what I learnedcame from Harlequin romance
novels. My mom bought me thosenovels and I devoured them
getting lost in those storiesof heroes, sweeping women off
(02:50):
their feet. Oh my goodness, I'deven walk miles to the library
just to get more of them. Thosenovels, baby, were my main
education on love and intimacy,and some were pretty steamy.
But as much as I love thosestories, they didn't teach me
(03:12):
the full picture. They didn'tshow me the deep God-given
design for intimacy that I nowunderstand. I thought that if
you love someone, you simplyhad sex with them, and that was
all there was to it. I had noidea how to build real God
center intimacy. And you know,the Bible doesn't hold back.
(03:36):
When it comes to intimacy, itactually celebrates it. Take
the Song of Solomon, forexample. It's full of beautiful
language that captures realpassion and connection. Song of
Solomon, chapter one, verse twosays, Ooh , let him kiss me
with the kisses of his mouth.
(03:57):
For your love is moredelightful than wine
girlfriend. That's not just ametaphor. It's a reminder that
God made intimacy to be fullyenjoyed and deeply shared, but
deeply shared by marriedpeople. Some of y'all might not
agree with me on that, but I'mjust keeping it real and I'm
(04:19):
keeping it biblical Anyway. Sohow do we keep that connection
alive? Well, let me give yousome practical ways. Number
one, show appreciation openlyin the Song of Solomon. The
couple is constantly expressingtheir admiration for each
other. When's the last time yougenuinely told your spouse that
(04:40):
you love about , um, when yougenuinely told your spouse what
you love about them? Becausewhen you say it out loud, it
keeps the spark alive and itfuels the attraction on both
sides. Number two, you gottasee sex as a gift to each
other. You see, the Biblespeaks about intimacy as
(05:03):
something that's about giving,not just taking. One .
Corinthians chapter seven,verse three says, the husband
should fulfill his marital dutyto his wife, and likewise the
wife to her husband. It's aboutloving each other selflessly,
which naturally creates a cycleof love and trust and desire,
(05:25):
and it keeps that flame burninggirl. Number three, build
anticipation. In Song ofSolomon, there's this sense of
waiting and excitement. Littlegestures like planning time
alone, sending a sweet messageor doing something unexpected.
(05:46):
All of that can keep thatanticipation alive. And girl,
it doesn't have to be nothingelaborate, just something
intentional that buildsexcitement. That's all. Number
four, nurture emotionalintimacy. Physical closeness
naturally flows from emotionalcloseness. And so when you take
(06:10):
time to talk, listen and trulyconnect, it strengthens the
foundation for intimacy that'sdeeply satisfying for you and
your man, your husband. Okay,number five, pray together
about your intimacy. Now, thisone might feel a little strange
at first, but inviting God intothis space is powerful. You
(06:35):
see, when we pray together, itstrengthens our unity and helps
us align our desires with God'spurpose for our relationship.
So keeping great sex aliveisn't about learning new
techniques or following ascript, although it is kind of
fun learning new positions andthings like that . Oh , okay.
(06:57):
Did I say that? I sure did.
Anyway, let me keep it moving.
So, like I said, it's not aboutfollowing a script, it's not
about being robotic, it's aboutcreating a connection that's
authentic, trusting and alignedwith God's design. You know,
(07:19):
the Bible says that the bedroomis undefiled, right? So you can
have all the fun you want , doall the crazy acrobatic things
that you want to do if you'rethat flexible, okay, let me be
good. I'm misbehaving. Let meget back to what I was saying.
Anyway, so what I was saying isthat in order to keep that
(07:46):
spark alive, and if you want toenjoy every bit of what God
intended for intimacy in themarriage, you have to let the
passion flow naturally. Okay?
I'm not talking aboutpornography 'cause we don't
(08:07):
want that in our marriage.
Mm-hmm. That's not good. Butlet you know, just let it be.
Just let it flow and benatural, okay? You don't have
to compete with anybody youknow, it's just you and your
husband just having a great oldtime, just loving on each
(08:27):
other. Just like it says in theSong of Solomon. There is no
shame in what you do in yourbedroom. So listen ladies, I
hope this was helpful becausesex is a great thing that God
intended for men and women toenjoy. And I know that some
(08:53):
women are afraid to exploresexual intimacy on a deeper
level. They're afraid toexplore different , um, things
that they can do in the bedroomto enhance their sexual
intimacy with their husbands.
But you cannot be approved. Youjust can't, you know, be
(09:15):
adventurous. You know, dosomething that you hadn't done
before. Have fun with it, girl.
And make sure y'all putting onlingerie. Listen, don't be
wearing no head wrapped to bed.
Don't be wearing them flannelpajamas. No, no, no. Burn that
(09:38):
stuff. Put it in the furnace.
Cut it up and throw it in thetrash. You gotta keep the flame
alive by giving him somethingthat is going to cause him to
(10:03):
desire you. You know, and I'mtelling you, wearing flannel
pajamas or flannel nightgown, Idon't know if that's gonna
work, ladies. So go toVictoria's Secret or some other
(10:26):
place that sells beautifullingerie and invest, invest in
you some lingerie. Invest inyou a nice , um, negligee. You
(10:46):
know what I'm saying? Ain'tnothing wrong with that. And
for some of you religious girlswho have been told that sex is
dirty or evil, or some of youhave been told that as a wife,
you are just supposed tosubmit, give him sex whenever
he wants. Lay there like a log.
(11:08):
Just do it. Get it over withbecause that's your wifely
duty. I feel for you ladies.
Like, I feel bad for youbecause that is misinformation.
That's not how God intended itto be. So my prayer is that you
(11:30):
would get rid of that advicewherever you got it from,
whoever you receive that from.
Get rid of that. Don't believeit. Don't accept it. Sexual
intimacy should be fun andenjoyable. But if there is
(11:53):
something that your husband isasking you to do as it relates
to , um, having sex, and if itmakes you feel uncomfortable,
then that requires openness andtransparency. And you're going
(12:13):
to have to have thatconversation with your husband
no matter how difficult itmight be. You gotta tell him,
I'm not comfortable with that.
I don't want to do that. Andjust be honest and prayerfully,
if he loves you, then he'llunderstand. But you shouldn't
(12:35):
be made to do anything orparticipate in something that
makes you feel uncomfortable,period. Point blank . And so
you have to be assertive inthat way, in a loving way. So
hopefully your husband, againwill be understanding. But
anyway, girl, that's it. Iain't got nothing else to say
(12:56):
about that other than have fun,enjoy sex. God made it fun. He
made it enjoyable. And youknow, go with the flow. Go with
the flow. Don't be don't beshy, don't be, you know, afraid
to try new things. Alright ? Sothat's what I have for you
(13:21):
ladies today. I hope this washelpful. And , um, please do
share this podcast with othersister friends. Okay? So until
we meet again, keep faith alivegirl, and keep that flame
flowing in that marriage. Allright? Don't let the flame go
(13:41):
out. Keep the sex on fire.
Alright , I'll catch y'alllater. Bye for now.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Thank you for listening to the She Strives
with Faith Podcast. To hearmore about how you can tap into
the power of striving withFaith, join her next week. If
you found value in the episode,give her a rating or tell a
friend about the show. FollowBethea on Facebook and
Instagram for a more personalchat. Until next time, strive
(14:14):
to keep faith alive.
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