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April 14, 2024 17 mins

I'm all by myself for a special episode here today as you will be the first to hear the Audible Recording of the soon-to-be-released, all-new, 

Sober Cycle-Pedaling My Way Through Recovery One Day At a Time

As the soft hum of bicycle wheels on pavement echoes through my memories, I welcome you to an episode that pedals through the gritty terrain of recovery. Embark with me, Sherry, as I vulnerably unearth Chapter 1 of the newly revised edition of "Sober Cycle." You will hear the fear in my voice and the resolve in my spirit as I share a narrative steeped in both the despair and the ironic humor that addiction sprinkles throughout my journey. 

Here is the pre-order link for the hardcover and Audible Versions. https://a.co/d/i5q5mjD , which will be available on April 30! Head to shesurrenders.com and subscribe to our newsletter for all the fun details I discussed today. Thank you!





About the She Surrenders Podcast:

On the She Surrenders podcast we are talking about women, faith and addiction all on the same platform. There are many podcasts for women and sobriety, but very few for women seeking information and stories from others about faith-based recovery.

Help us reach more listeners: like, subscribe, review, and share.

Find us on Instagram @shesurrenders_sherry, on Facebook @shesurrenderssherry, and online at www.shesurrenders.com.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome back to the she Surrenders podcast.
My name is Sheri and my goalfor this podcast is to bring you
the good news that faith-basedrecovery works, and it is where
you will find the joy in lifethat you did not think was
possible while you were still inthe bondage of addiction.
The stories you will hear fromthe women, and sometimes men, of

(00:28):
those that have walked in yourshoes or alongside someone who
has, will inspire you to pursuethe freedom they have found.
That comes from surrenderingnot only our addictions but also
our guilt and our shame to God.
Matthew 19, verse 26, tells usthat Jesus said With man this is

(00:49):
impossible, but with God allthings are possible.
I pray you hear something todaythat brings you to a new
understanding that this is truefor you too, because it is Now
on to our guest too.
Because it is Now on to ourguest Hi there.

(01:10):
Thank you so much for joiningme here for another episode of
the she Surrenders podcast.
Today I'm going to share withyou one of the more daunting
things in life I've ever done.
So, as you know, or I hope youknow, the revised and updated
second edition of Sober CyclePedaling Through Recovery One
Day at a Time will be launchedinto the world at the end of

(01:31):
this month, and your support hasbeen nothing short of inspiring
.
As of now, sober Cycle thefirst release from April 2021,
has over 100 very positivereviews on Amazon, and each one
of these reviews has helpedimmensely to put a spotlight on

(01:51):
the topic of Christian women andalcohol addiction, and it's
provided strength andunderstanding for those who are
struggling.
So if you're one of theincredible women or a few of the
men who's left a review, thankyou so very much.
But in order to get amazon'sattention that's layman's terms

(02:11):
for an algorithm process I donot understand.
I would like to encourage youto pre-order the new edition and
it's beautiful new hardcover oryou can also pre-order the new
Audible version.
We are doing a really fungiveaway here at she Surrenders
for pre-orders and if you missedthe social media post about it

(02:33):
or the newsletter details, justhead over to shesurrenderscom
and subscribe to the newsletterto see all the ways to enter to
win the designer bag and signedcopy of the new book.
I am also going to post thepre-order link in our show notes
, which you can find atSheSurrenderscom slash podcast.
There's also an opportunity tojoin our Facebook group and be a

(02:56):
part of my SAG team On a biketrip.
The SAG team supports theriders and that's what you'll be
doing in this group, except I'mthe only writer but more
details on that in thenewsletter as well.
So what are you hearing today onthe podcast?
Well, it's the audible versionof Chapter 1 of the new book and

(03:18):
it's read by me.
Like I said, it's one of themost intimidating things I've
ever done.
I wasn't prepared forrevisiting some of those really
hard and emotional moments inthe book and then to read them
out loud.
You will hear my emotion, andthere were so many times I

(03:40):
couldn't believe that this wasme.
It kind of just blew my mind.
However, I did have fun readingthe pages of humor and sarcasm
because, well, what's thatsaying?
I speak fluent sarcasm, and Ido, which you'll hear as well.
So here you go Sober Cycle,chapter 1.
Chapter 1.

(04:01):
Unwelcome Invitation.
Chapter 1.
Unwelcome Invitation, september2010.
I had the worst hangover of mylife.
Instead of nursing it in thecocoon of my bed as usual, I was
surrounded by family andfriends and preparing to bike
with nine other riders fromHolland, michigan, to Grapevine,

(04:21):
texas 1,100 miles in 11 days.
My bags were being loaded intoa van and the motorhome going
with us was being stocked withfood and water.
Ride for Life 2010 was almostready to go.
This was the real deal.
I was in way over my head.
There was no way out.
I was going to be detoxingwhile riding a bike, 100 miles a

(04:45):
day.
I was on this ride for all thewrong reasons, most of them
selfish.
I signed up to free myself frommy destructive ways.
Plus, I would surely loseweight in the process the
ultimate motivator for all women.
But I didn't reap any of thosebenefits.
Instead, I was nursing aterrible hangover and hadn't

(05:06):
lost an ounce since I startedtraining for this insane bike
ride.
Why did I always find myself inthese predicaments with no
visible way out?
Actually, there was a way outof this one coming clean to
everyone and admitting that Iwas an alcoholic coming off a
three-day binge that endedearlier this morning.
I was incredibly hungover,possibly still inebriated, and

(05:31):
just needed to go home to bed,but there was no way I was going
to confess that to anyone.
I guarded my secret so closelythat I was choosing to suffer
through 100 miles a day on abike rather than expose myself.
How did I get here?
Why didn't I just go tomeetings like everyone else who
drank too much?
I always chose the hard way todo things.

(05:52):
This time it was more toimpress others than to heal
myself always an I'll-show-themway of thinking.
Instead of following a moreconventional path to sobriety, I
signed up for a fundraisingbike ride from Michigan to Texas
.
Surely there was an easier way,but when I remember who I was
when I received the invitationto join this trip an overweight,

(06:15):
out of shape, non-athletic,supposedly drying out alcoholic
there is no doubt it was a Godthing.
No-transcript.
Three months earlier, my husbandCraig and son Lauren were going

(06:36):
on an Alaskan cruise without me.
We had won the trip through ourbusiness, but I would not be
going for several reasons.
For one, our younger daughterwas graduating from eighth grade
and her graduation was duringthe cruise.
I hope she someday recalls thatit was mom who stayed back from
an Alaskan cruise for hereighth grade graduation.

(06:57):
I promised Craig that Iwouldn't drink while he was gone
, and I meant it.
I don't know what made thattime different.
I wanted him to have a goodtime without worrying about what
was happening at home.
Craig had no reason to believethat I would keep my promise
this time.
I'd broken so many in the past.
Truth be told, I was gratefulfor a valid excuse not to go,

(07:21):
even though I didn't voice thatto my family.
Based on past experience, Iknew I could not handle a cruise
where the drinks were free andflowed 24-7.
We had been a part of thisbusiness group for most of my
adult life and many of themembers knew I'd officially quit
drinking.
I was supposed to be sober If Iwent on that cruise.

(07:43):
I knew that I would drink andit would be 10 days of secrets,
blackouts and hiding games.
So my son went instead of me.
Plus, the trip took place overhis 21st birthday.
I couldn't go along andcelebrate a birthday.
That was all about drinking.
When I couldn't drink, my soncould and others would buy him

(08:03):
shots and I would watch andsalivate.
That party would have to go onwithout me.
They left.
I battled depression.
Why did I make that promise toCraig not to drink?
I wasn't working and I'd cutmyself off from any social life.
I just didn't know how to dolife socially sober.
It was easier to be alone.

(08:25):
I woke up each morning indarkness and stayed there.
I spent the first three daysgetting my daughter off to
school each morning and thendoing absolutely nothing but
attending my personal pity party.
It was an easy party to getready for, no shower or makeup
yesterday's clothes I just mademyself presentable by the time

(08:45):
my daughter Olivia came homefrom school Early one morning.
About four days into this lameparty I was hosting, my phone
rang.
The caller ID told me it wasthe Lakeshore Pregnancy Center,
lpc, where I used to work, andfor some reason I answered.
I didn't do that very oftenanswer the phone.

(09:05):
There really wasn't anyone thatI wanted to talk to.
Hi, sherry, how are you?
It was the assistant director.
I'd always liked her.
Hi, sherry, how are you?
It was the assistant director.
I'd always liked her Prettygood, thanks, I replied.
How are you?
It was good to hear her voiceDesperate.

(09:26):
We are so short of volunteerstoday that I was wondering if
there is any way you could comein.
If you could answer phones,that would really help us out.
I hesitated for a moment andlooked in the mirror from where
I sat on the bottom of thestaircase.
The woman in the mirror lookedpretty rough.
Maybe getting out of the housewas a good idea.
Okay, I said with as muchenthusiasm as Eeyore, then went

(09:47):
upstairs to take a shower andbegin a day away from myself.
As I got ready, I realized thatit felt good to have a purpose
for the day instead of justwandering around the house
thinking about all the things Ishould be doing.
I couldn't help but think thatthis was good.
A whole day would pass where Icould be safe and not drink.

(10:07):
I'd be one day closer to myhusband returning so I could
drink again.
Planning to drink after hisreturn was the only thing
keeping me sober while he wasgone.
I answered phones and caught upwith my former co-workers, many
of whom were good friends, justnot close enough to know my
secrets.

(10:28):
All day as I sat at that desk, Ikept thinking that no one had
any idea of the trouble I was in.
I kept thinking that no one hadany idea of the trouble I was
in.
I was filled with self-loathingalong with jealousy that no one
else was dealing with anaddiction like mine.
I was sure that I was one of akind who works in ministry,
directs children's choir, is ateam mom and respected member of

(10:55):
the community and drinks alonein her closet all day and cannot
stop An addict.
My shame level was at anall-time high.
I was surrounded by people butfelt completely alone.
At one point I took somemessages upstairs to our
executive director, mark.
He was a pastor in charge of awoman's pregnancy center and for
that reason alone I respectedhim.

(11:17):
When I handed him the messages,he looked right at me, or
possibly through me, and saidwhere have you been hiding?
Any strength to keep fakinglife left me.
As the mask I'd been hidingbehind slid off.
I sank down in the chairopposite his desk and hung my
head.
For once, I couldn't hide what Ididn't want anyone to see Get

(11:41):
it together.
I couldn't keep the tears fromfalling, any more than I could
stop the words spilling from mymouth which made me feel frantic
exposed.
Why here, why now?
My thoughts whirled as I triedto grasp what was happening.
I was destroying everything inmy path, mostly my marriage and

(12:02):
any other relationship withthose closest to me.
Notice, I used the word was inthis conversation.
My guard was always up and evenwhile confessing, I made sure
that Mark would be led to thinkI was successfully conquering
the battle of the bottle.
I've been sober for about fivemonths really, only five days

(12:22):
and I'm struggling to stay inrecovery, I said with tears
streaming down my cheeks Then,thank goodness I regained
control.
The only thing keeping me sobertoday is my promise to Craig
that I would not drink while heis gone.
So being here where it's safeis a blessing.
I thought this sounded verynoble, with just a touch of

(12:43):
needy.
A good place to end thisconversation and make an exit.
I had said enough.
I put my mask back on.
My loss of control had beenbrief and I was back to my
alcoholic way of thinking.
What good can talking tosomeone do?
He can't help me, nobody can.
The whole truth was tooshameful to share.
I was already fighting panicthat my secret was no longer a

(13:06):
secret at work.
My reputation was alreadyruined at home.
I couldn't lose it here.
Instead of feeling relief afterunloading my struggles, I was
mortified.
Why was I so stupid as to letmy guard down and expose my
fears?
I hadn't planned on spilling myguts Now.

(13:30):
They were all laid out well,most of them for examination.
Mark took a minute before sayinganything.
Just listen to what he has tosay, nod your head and say thank
you.
He'd probably recommendscripture or a meeting, maybe
even a friend I should talk towho was going through the same
thing.
What he said next completelysurprised me.
You need to join us on the ridefor life.

(13:52):
We need more women.
There you have it.
I hope you want to hear more,and if you do, head on over to
Amazon and pre-order the Audibleversion.
The link is in the show notes.
And if you do, head on over toAmazon and pre-order the audible
version, the link is in theshow notes.
And if you're doing that, youmight as well enter the contest,
so be sure to check that outtoo.

(14:15):
That's it for today.
There's so much happening thismonth.
I hope you decide to support mehere in this ministry.
We have some exciting guestscoming up here on the podcast
too.
But most of all, I covet yourprayers as I continue to work
hard to send the message thatfaith-based recovery works, that
you are not alone and there isa community waiting for you.
Thanks for being here.
I hope you enjoyed thisconversation, and if you know

(14:37):
someone else who could benefitfrom hearing this or another,
she Surrenders podcast.
Please share this podcast.
Let's get the word out aboutthe miracle of faith-based
recovery.
So like, share, subscribe,review all the things that
helped me get this into thehands of those who need to hear
it.
Have a great week and we'll seeyou back here next time.

(15:01):
Thank you, thank you.
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