"The Age of Aquarius" - Finding Harmony with Harmonie Krieger - Shebrew in the City

Episode Transcript
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Nicole Kelly (00:02):
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Hi, I'm Nicole Kelly and thisis she Bruin'd the City, and

(00:38):
today I am talking to HarmonyKrieger, who you may recognize
if you watch the hit Netflixshow Jewish Matchmaking.
Hi, harmony, thank you so muchfor taking the time to sit down
and talk with me.

Harmonie Kreiger (00:50):
Hi, nicole, so excited to be here.
Thank you so much for having me.

Yes, I love that you are so high energy, because
I feel like I'm nevercaffeinated enough, so I'm going
to draw your energy through.
I have my coffee, you got yourcoffee, you got your coffee.
I didn't have my coffee thismorning, so I will draw off of
your high energy.

And, by the way, it doesn't happen all the
time because I'm not a morningperson, just so people know it's
not all the time.

I'm not a morning person either.
I am very much, you know,because I was an actor for so
many years, that it's just likeI.
If it's before eight o'clock, Ifeel like it's just not, not my
, not my, not my thing.

But I love you .
You're speaking my language,but what about when you have a
child?

What happened?
Well, she.
It's very interesting becausewhen she was first born she kind
of adopted the actor hours.
So she will, if she naps, stayup super late with us and she's
got severe FOMO.
So that is my dream to have,like a child who uh, who's on,
who's on uh nighttime hours.
I know a lot of people.
They're like well, our kidwakes up at like 6, 30 in the
morning and I'm like that's notI literally have to train my

(01:52):
child, if I have one, to wake upwhen I wake up it's possible,
though.
The problem is is she goes topreschool now, so we have to be
there 8 45 and as she gets olderit gets earlier and earlier by
like 10 or 15 minutes each year.
So I have to kind of train I'mnot looking forward to it and I
have an 8 am class Tuesday andThursday this semester, so I
have to leave the house.

So now you're a morning person, nicole, I'm
going to force myself to be amorning person.

So, kind of coming back to our tangent about not
being morning people, I alwayslike to start off by asking
guests kind of where they'refrom, what their childhood was
like, their Jewish background,if any at all.
So if you could share a littlebit about that.

Sure, so I'm from New York City.
I was born on the Upper EastSide and then my parents moved
to Westchester, so I grew up inScarsdale, eastchester area and
it's about, you know, 25, 30minutes from the city.
So I always grew up kind ofhaving both the suburb and the
city life.
I was always, you know, I justloved going there on the

(02:51):
weekends and seeing the brightlights and that was always so
enticing.
And then I got to like grow upin a really great suburb where I
had a ton of friends but noneof them were Jewish.
Oh wow, yeah, so the area I wasin was very.
It was Italian Catholic and Iwas one of I don't know three or
four Jewish people in my entireschool.
Wow.

(03:12):
So it was very interesting,because my dad in the show I
talk about it but for those whohaven't seen it my dad was
raised Orthodox and he reallychose to go the opposite
direction and he sort of becamean atheist in a way, and so I
didn't grow up with hardly anyJudaism in my everyday world.

(03:32):
And then my mom startedteaching Hebrew school to young
children about, I would say,when she was about 40.
I must have been I don't knowhow old I was at the time, but
whatever it was, it was too latefor me to go to Hebrew school
at that time I kind of passedthe point.
So I never got that experienceand none of my friends were

(03:52):
Jewish.
So it's so interesting becausethen I went to Syracuse
University where all my friendswere Jewish.

Oh, so Syracuse is like a super.
I'm not as familiar withSyracuse as other universities.

Well, I guess the people that I hung out with
was and I was in the most Jewishsorority, sigma Delta, tau, sdt
as we say and I was the socialchair and I'm like what do you
mean?
I fit in.
And my parents were so worriedbecause I didn't have that
upbringing that I wouldn't fitin.

It's so interesting that you say that
your dad was raised Orthodox butdecided not to die.
My mother's family generationbefore her everybody's Orthodox,
Like they only spoke Yiddish inthe home, like very religious.
And then my mother had a sisterwho passed away when she was
very young, so it caused a lotof, I think, emotional trauma
obviously, and both her parentskind of shied away from religion

(04:39):
and my mom really didn't haveother than going to family
events at my great aunt's housethat I've talked about in other
episodes.
So she one of the reasons thatI had such like not like a
strict but like a cohesiveJewish upbringing is because she
felt that she was denied that.
So I feel like sometimes whenpeople grow up in like a very
extreme religious atmosphere,either they become, you know,

(05:01):
acclimated, that very extremereligious they maybe kind of go
like your dad or my mom'sparents did to kind of the other
end of that, because ofwhatever reason.

That's so interesting.

Yeah.

And also.
So my dad almost, I feel, wasforced into that.
So I think he kind of went theopposite.
But then my mom started becomingso interested in getting back
into her Judaism, because mygrandma loved to keep high
holidays, but she also wasn'treligious about it.
Then my mom was like, let meexplore a little bit more.
And then when she startedteaching, it really opened up,

(05:35):
finding it again, and I thinkthat's what's so special about
Judaism.
Of course, what's going on inthe world right now has brought
everybody so close to it.
However, I felt there wasalways a piece and not many
people know this missing from mylife in that sector, but I
didn't know what that meantbecause I didn't grow up with it
.
So you don't know what youdon't know.

Yeah, no.
So I almost felt like I wasfaking it.
You know what I mean.

I was faking it till I made it.
I went to high holidays and Idid some Shabbat dinners, but I
didn't know what anything meant.
So I felt like I was sort ofthis outcast, but I wanted to be
on the inside.
You know what I mean.
So I felt like I was yearningfor it.

I've heard other people say something like that,
like I have a cousin who wouldgo on to have like an adult bat
mitzvah and mentioned in herschool.
So I think, especially withpeople you know, millennials and
people you know I don't evenknow the generational names
anymore because there's so manyMe neither.

I don't even know what.

I am, by the way.

By the way, I need to know more about the
adult, because that's what Iwant to do.
I want to do an adult batmitzvah.

We're going to talk I.
So she kind of felt like otherthan and even like my mother had
mentioned that she, you know,kind of learned the prayers
they're going to synagogue withus but she never really
understood.
So I think a lot of people,maybe when they have children,
maybe when they become adults orthinking about having their own
families, they kind of findtheir way back in, which is what
really happened with me, like Iwas very religious growing up

(07:01):
and we were just home in LosAngeles and I was talking to my
sister and she's like you'rereally Jewish now, and my mom
was like she was always reallyJewish.
I don't know, like we do Shabbat, like we never did that growing
up, like I go to temple andshe's coming to visit in
February and my mom was like youshould go to services with her
and my sister is much moreculturally Jewish than
religiously Jewish and she'slike I don't know, and I was
like my mom was like she wasalways Jewish.

(07:22):
It's just that because I becamean actor and theater and music
became so much of my life.
It replaced the obsession Ihave with being Jewish and
Judaism.
So you know online resourcesand so many people who are in
the clergy being like availableto talk to people online.

(07:48):
And these Jewish educators likeon Instagram, kind of talking
about stuff.
There's a way for everybody tobecome educated, even if they
don't want to do, you know, likea formal Jewish intro class.

I love it and that's how I feel.
I almost feel like it'sculturally Jewish.
Now, to just like learn,because there are so many people
that could teach and they breakit down in such a digestible
way.
I think that's the other part,because people feel like they
have to be religious to beJewish, and it's the opposite.
You can have any, we're Jewishand that's it.

And that's one of the things I'm trying to do with
this podcast is show that thereare a million and a half ways
to be Jewish and everybody'sJudaism is valid, regardless of
whether or not they're SatmarOrthodox or their dad's Jewish,
and they just light a menorah.

And that's what Elisa from the show, the
matchmaker from the show, alwaystalks about.
There are a million ways to beJewish.
You're Jewish, and when I triedout to be the show, I thought
that I wasn't going to get theshow because I was not Jewish
enough.

Okay, well, we'll jump.
I I found out.
Wait, we'll jump into talkingabout the show.
So most of the people umlistening will, if they
recognize you, will recognizeyou from the Netflix reality
show Jewish matchmaking.
How did you get involved withthat?
I'm always so curious because Iwatched the bachelor sometimes
and they're always like I lovereality television.

(09:06):
It's the vice of mine.
My dad once told me when I wasstill actively performing.
He was like you know, you'retaking jobs away from actors
when you watch that.
And I was like I don't care,it's magnificent and I love it.
So, they'll advertise.
They'll say do you know someonewho would you know want to be?
You know, date our bachelor orbachelorette.
But I never.
I mean, maybe I'm in the wrongsocial sphere.

(09:26):
I never saw an advertisementfor Jewish matchmaking, so how
did you find out about this?

It's so interesting you said that.
Thanks, because I now that Ithink about it.
You're right, there's alwayssome sort of casting, okay.
So this is interesting myfriend in Los Angeles, j JD she
is a matchmaker and she matchedme with and I've never really
gone to a matchmaker before andI I know her husband from

(09:52):
college.
I ran into them at RunyonCanyon, which is a hike in.

Los Angeles.

And we had our dogs together and I'm like I
need to give this a try.
So she set me up with aboutthree.
I would say it was three dates,three different men.
All lovely, by the way, justnot my thing, not my jam.
And she reached out to me andshe said well, it's interesting,
my other friend, who's anothermatchmaker, you know in the

(10:18):
group of matchmakers becausethey all know each other by the
way.

Yeah, it's a very it's a very specific thing to be
a Jewish matchmaker.
It really is.

So she said she's cast, she's casting for
this show and I actually feellike this is your path and I'm
like what do you mean?
You know, and I and I did a lotof TV hosting in my day, so I'm
not shy in front of the camera.
However, I'm very private aboutmy love life, like.
I have never posted a photo ofanother guy that I was dating on

(10:47):
my Instagram in maybe 15 years,like I have never done anything
public when in my love life andthat's very, that's just very
personal to me Um, and being,you know, as a host and sort of
in the I don't know in thatworld, you almost want to stay
single, like stay single inquotes.

Yeah, yeah, that's the thing.
There's a long history ofpeople pretending to be single
or you know you want to stay.
I guess it's sexier to besingle than to have like a
family, I guess.
So I don't know.

You're right.
And then I think this was themoment she said try out, I'm
like I don't think.
Number one I don't think I'mJewish enough.

Number two I think I'm too old.

That's how I truly felt, because when they do
these shows, they're usuallyaskew a little bit younger, it's
so interesting.

You said that because we didn't watch the
season, but we started watchingthe Golden Bachelor.
Yes, we started watching thegolden bachelor.
Yeah, and it's so funny becausemy husband pointed out that for
a lot of these people it is,you know, it is maybe one of
their real because they're like75, their real last chance at
finding a spouse, where it'slike when on the regular batch,
it's like they're 21 and they'relike I'm never going to find
someone.
I know you are a child and yourbrain is not fully developed yet

(12:00):
, like it's going to be exactlygot plenty of time.
I also feel like my mother.
You know never.
I feel like I had theanti-Jewish mother when it came
to finding a family.
She was always like ouroptometrist his sister didn't
get married until she was in herforties and she was always like
Mark's sister didn't getmarried until she was in her
forties.
So there's no rush and itdoesn't.
So she was always very, which Ithink is the anti-Jewish mother

(12:23):
where it's normally they'relike you need to get married and
give me grandchildren.

So it's funny.
You said that my dad was likethat and my mom was very much do
your own thing, fly.
She knew I was always unique.
We're the same zodiac sign,Aquarius.
We're dreamers, we're out there, we don't do anything by the
book.
So she always said in your owntime, anything by the book.
So she always said in your owntime.
So she also was like theanti-Jewish mom.

(12:48):
She's the one that told me togo to LA, like fly your wings,
go, do what you want.
And my dad?
It's funny.
My dad said wait as long as youcan.
Well, look what happened.
He's like, literally, there'sso many guys out there, but you
know, just date as long as youcan.
And it's so funny.
What do you think he?
What do you think he says nowwhen are you getting married?
I'm like, yeah, because youtold me to wait this long.

Well, statistically, you've just
skipped your first divorce.

You know, that's my sister said that she's
like.

I've skipped my first divorce because I didn't
get married in my 20s.

I'm going to use that.
I would have been.
By the way, I would have beendivorced if I married any of
those people I was dating when Iwas younger, because I also
wasn't ready.
Yeah, and I knew.

I think especially and this is something that I
feel like a lot of youngerpeople in their 20s.
They're not interested in theidea of a marriage, but they
really want a wedding,especially with weddings
becoming such like a huge thing.
It's like a wedding and a partyis what I think people want,
but when it comes, when thewedding is over, the
relationship is a lot of workand I don't think people are
prepared for that.

It's a lot of work and I I never was dreaming
of the wedding until I watchedmy friends at 25 get married,
but I always knew that wasn'tthe wedding I wanted, yeah.
So there's something in me thatsaid, okay, but that's not
really what you want, go findwhat you want.
And I think it was about soulsearching and becoming a partner
that I was like I was happywith inside, because at that

(14:12):
point I was very selfish, I wasdoing my own thing, I was living
in New York city, I was boppingaround.
I was you know auditioning forhosting gigs.
I did not.
I had a boyfriend, but I didnot want marriage and I was
pretending like I did.

Because that's what I think society expects
We'll talk about that Especiallyof Jewish women is that you're
supposed to want all thesethings and it's okay not to get
married ever?
Like this is a valid option forpeople?

you know or have kids.
Yeah, that's a real thing.
And I have so many friendsright now that have chosen not
to have a child, and they arevery happy about it, and so
that's their journey.
And I just think that more andmore people are coming forward
with it's okay whatever you wantto do, where back in the day,
it was not okay, like this iswhat you were supposed to do.

(15:00):
So back to when I tried out forthe show, I think my video in
my audition with the producerwas so raw and real because,
number one, you have no ideawhat they're going to ask you,
right?
You also have no idea wherethat conversation is going to go
.
So I didn't know what she wasgoing to ask me.
I thought it was just like aslew of questions about my

(15:21):
dating history, what I want, butit went so deep and I just lost
it.
I mean, I started bawling aboutnot thinking I was going to get
married, not having a child.
I would regret that forever.
And why am I in this place at44 years old, when I knew I
could have gotten married backin the day?
And now I'm dealing with socialmedia and online dating apps

(15:43):
that are just not my thing.
And I just said to her my dadis really sick and to imagine my
dad not walking me down thataisle and my grandma passing
away because she was at thattime she was turning 99 and she
turned 100, thank God, but shepassed away.
But to not have those two mostimportant people in my life at

(16:05):
my wedding, I could not imaginethat.
I got myself to that placealmost as if I was blaming
myself, which was insane.
So I think she was my age, bythe way, who casted me and she
related so deeply because it wasso true.
What I was feeling, I believe,is what so many women my age are

(16:25):
feeling right now.

It's almost like, well, when you're past this age,
you're not deserving of love,which is ridiculous.
You know, I know so many peoplethat had unhappy marriages that
I feel like they rushed intobecause, well, that's what you
do and you know the divorcerates are super high.
Especially we talk about likeback in the day.
People like, well, that's whatyou do, well, they were
miserable.

Right.

Exactly.
But I think society really doespush this idea of like well,
you're past a certain age, youare this thing, you don't
deserve love, you don't deservea family, and I don't think
that's valid or right in any way.
It's really not.

And, by the way, I'm a product of divorce.
So this is the other part thatI think a lot of people can
resonate with who have divorcedparents.
I, my model for love was that,and so I love my parents dearly,
but they were fighting since Iwas seven and they did not get
divorced till I was 17.
So for 10 years I witnessed arelationship that was love in

(17:22):
the most combative, chaotic wayand that literally is embedded
in you when you go into adultrelationships.
So I was like, oh, I'm nevergoing to have a marriage like
that.
Well, fast forward and this isvery vulnerable for me to say,
but a lot of my youngerlong-term relationships, I
carried a lot of that chaoticbehavior into those

(17:44):
relationships and I'm like whyam I like this?
Why am I doing this?
Because this is what I saw.
Now I don't blame them, butit's embedded in you and you
have to break that pattern inorder to really become the
person that you know you are andwant to.
And I still battle with somethings that I'm very passionate
and I get aggressive.
And my boyfriend now is like,okay, you can calm down a little

(18:10):
bit.
And I'm like no, like I'm so,but it comes from like that
chaotic upbringing and so you're.
It's up to you to really likeregulate your own behavior and
nervous system and I was neverin that place.
So when I say that was my modelof love, I think a part of me
kind of pushes away anythingsuper healthy.

I can't relate to this in like from my parents,
because my parents are stillmarried.

Which is beautiful.

Yes, I know, when we got married, our cancer was
like both your parents are stillmarried.
That's so rare.
I was severely bullied when Iwas a small child.
I'm going to be, 38 in like amonth and even last night I was
like crying and my husband'slike I get.
This is real trauma that youhad and I'm carrying it from
when I was like in fourth gradeand I'm going to be 40 in a
couple of years.
So it is like a real thing thatyou carry a lot of these things,

(18:55):
that growing up can be reallyhard to get over and you know,
like you said, you can't blameyourself for this.
This stuff.

You can just try to overcome it and I never
really did and I'm so sorry thatyou went through that, because
any type of trauma is so realfor us and other people that
haven't experienced it don'tknow.
But I will say most people havea version of a trauma they've
experienced.

We all carry something.

Exactly, and I think the show and this is
something that was so powerful.
That was my gift, I feel like,from Hashem.
That was like this is your timeto own your story and this is
also when you're gonna breakyour pattern, because you don't
have a choice.
You're gonna tell the world andwhatever they show or edit, it
doesn't matter.
It's about you saying it alland just being vulnerable with

(19:41):
yourself.
It had nothing to do withanybody else and I think,
because I let it all go by theway, that was the first nobody.
This is the first time I eversaid my age on like in, like a
mall, like I said it to theworld, but in LA, as you know,
the land of acting and whatever.

Yes, you have to be like 12.
You do not say your age as awoman.
I know, oh, I know it's a realthing.

So I was always in my 30s.

It's a generic 30s .
There's a joke that my greatgrandmother because we don't
actually know how old she was,because people would lie when
they came through Ellis IslandRight.
And she didn't know what herbirthday was, because they were
using the Hebrew calendar.
So she picked December 25th.
Oh my gosh, because if it wasgood enough for Jesus, it was
good enough for her, but shewould like lie.

(20:25):
This woman was crazy.
I want to do an episode just onher.

Music (20:27):
I love that.

She would lie about her age, and she was 35
until my mom's dad, who was herson-in-law, turned 35 and then
she was 40.
So it's like she wasconsistently 35 for like over 20
years.

Yeah, and I love that.
I mean, I only went back threeor four years, I would.
I think I would say it was like39, 40.
But then obviously, when I getto 44, okay, I need to go 41.
But also for dating apps.
You know you're in a differentcategory.
Yeah, so if it was a two yeardifference, I didn't think it
was a big deal, but that was avery real moment for me where I
had to like save my real agebecause and that was another

(21:00):
thing that I think womenresonated with Okay you know,
can I still have a child?
Is there still hope for me?
The messages that I got fromyou know everyone all over the
world were literally that mystory was their story.

And that's why I feel like I went on that show,
so kind of going back toMatchmaker, so you had met with
a matchmaker before you metAliza, correct?

Yes, I didn't meet Aliza until the first day
we started filming Okay.

So was the experience with Aliza different
than with the other matchmaker.

Well, yeah, well, first, obviously we're
doing it for you know TV.
Yeah for TV, so it was a littlebit of a like a sped up process.
But first of all, when shewalked in my door I was like, oh
my God, who is this littlebeacon of light?
Her energy, as you know, it'sjust.
She is just like sunshine andrainbows.
I love her so much and I justknew the minute she walked in we
were meant to meet and connect,whether she set me up with my

(22:01):
future husband or whether wewere just meant to be friends or
whether she was going to bringJudaism back into my life.
That's how I felt when I mether.
So the process that she took methrough of like kind of going
through the things I want, thethings that I don't want, that
are non-negotiables, and gettingto know who I was, was
definitely a deeper dive,because I spent a lot of time
with her, so it was reallypersonal and she also was around

(22:25):
my age, so she reallyunderstood what I was looking
for and she realized, you know,I'm a high quality human and I
only will be with a high qualityhuman.
But what are the things thatare the most important to me and
what are the things I'm willingto compromise on and what?
What does it need to look like.
So she did give me a little bitof tough love, you know, like a
couple of things that I saidthat were important.

(22:46):
She's like yeah, I don't know,I think we could combine a
couple of things here, like doeshe have to be attractive?
And like passionate?
And I was like yes, what do youmean?
These are two different things,you know.
So she did get me to also ship.
The way I thought, though, aboutrelationships and getting older
, like, do you want a child?

(23:07):
Is that the most importantthing?
And I said, yes, okay, wellthen you might have to look at,
you know, a couple of otherthings that are not as important
.
Do they want children?
Wonderful, do they have a sixpack?
No, you know, like.
You know just getting me to seethings in a different light,
you know.

So that was a beautiful experience, so much
more personal than swiping.
I started dating my husbandbefore dating apps, so I never
experienced the magic of that.

Oh, that's so amazing.

Thankfully because I feel like I wouldn't be able
to deal with that very well.

It just wasn't fun.

And I was getting the same results over and over
again.

Because, think about it.
You're doing the same thingover and over again.
But I thought like if I'm outthere, you know and I'm special,
then somebody else is out there.

They're being special as well.

Exactly.

Yeah, it works for some people, I guess it does.
It does.
So Aliza has a lot of rules andone of her rules is no touching
for the first five dates.
Yeah, that's her big rule, soyou're a very friendly person.
Was yes, that's her big rule,so you're a very friendly person
.
Was this a really hard rule foryou to follow when you were
dating on the show?

Oh my God.
I mean, whoever saw the showand who didn't, it doesn't even
matter.
This is what happened.
I basically am a toucher andthat's how I communicate and
make people feel invited in andwarm, like, okay, I'm open,
that's how I feel.
So when somebody walks in for acoffee or I meet them, I
automatically give them a hug.

(24:30):
It doesn't even matter who youare, because that's how I invite
people like into my, into myworld, into my heart.
So she said to me Harmony,whatever you do, do not touch.
So my first date, aaron.
So he basically came up fromlike we were at a coffee shop
and he came up and tapped me onthe shoulder.
I didn't see what he lookedlike and the minute we stood up

(24:52):
I was like Aaron.
So I literally failed the rule.
Second one I'm like Aaron.
I hugged him.
I'm like, ah, it's amazingBecause it also makes it not be
awkward that's the other partand also not awkward for me,

(25:13):
because once I invite them in, Ifeel like I'm giving them an
opportunity to start talking orsharing.

I get that.
I'm not a touch person and myhusband is oh really, yeah, he
hugs everybody he's ever met inhis entire life.
And I'm like I don't hug familymembers and she wasn't mad at
me, but she was just laughingbecause she's like this is so
you Like I can't not touchpeople, so you spoiler alert you

(25:38):
did not end up finding yourmatch on the show.
Have you continued to work withAliza on finding someone?
I know you mentioned aboyfriend just now.

Yes, yeah, well, it's interesting, I would
say right.
So actually, my first date isnow engaged and Aliza set them
up, oh wow.

Yeah, that's so nice.

After I said no, she set him up and now
they're engaged.
It's amazing.
She definitely opened me up.
So I really believe thatwithout that show I don't know
if I would have been with myboyfriend now, because we met, I
did the show and you know it.

Yeah, it takes a long time, yeah, so you do it a
year before.

So I did the show, then I met him and then we
dated for very like threemonths.
But it was long distance, itwas so difficult.
We were totally in differentplaces.
He was looking for a new job.
He didn't know where he wouldland.
I wanted to be in LA, so itjust didn't work out Fast
forward.
We didn't speak for sevenmonths.
I had to tell him the show wascoming out because I wanted, out

(26:41):
of integrity, I wanted him toknow that I did not do this
while we were dating.

No, that makes complete sense.
You didn't want a scandal likeon the Bachelor, where they were
like he dumped his girlfriendand he'd go on the show.

Yeah, and you know it's Netflix.
I'm like he's going to see theshow.

Yeah, it was well promoted.

Right, and if he doesn't care it doesn't
matter, but I wanted him to know.
Bit of a back and forth at thatpoint conversation.
And then I was doing an eventwith the whole cast and Aliza in
New York City right after theshow aired and that's where we
met up for the first time.
After seven months he wascoming to see his parents and
then he's like okay, like let'slike see each other, you know,

(27:17):
so we did, and then we startedtalking again and he lives in
Miami.
So I'm like I don't know thisis the same thing all over again
.
But the way she positioned likeI want a child.
I'm looking for love.
I just saw it differently, andwe were both very committed to
seeing what this time aroundwould bring, because we were

(27:38):
both in a different place yeah,so you never know, because I'm
not really a believer of likegoing back, but it was almost
like as if there was so muchmore to explore, like we never
were really together together.
And now we are.
And so now I have to figure outif I'm coming to moving to
Miami, being in LA half time, soit's but, but Aliza, you can be
bi-coastal.

You can be bi-coastal.
It's a very you know real thing.

I was with Aliza last night, because we did
yeah, I know you guys weredoing an event we did an event
and she just said Harmony likethis is it.
He's such a high quality human.
I don't know what else you werelooking for, but this is it,
she's like she said the problemis me, not him.
I'm like okay.

So, like you said, you've done a lot of events
with Aliza.
Has she become a friend sinceyou did the show together?

Oh my God, such a friend.
I love her beyond.
I literally will WhatsApp herat like one o'clock in the
morning and now she's in Israel.
So it's perfect because hertime and my time, because I'm a
night owl.
We just line up and she'll justgive me some beautiful voice
notes and advice, and I try tosee her as much as I can when
she does these tours.
I'll hop on one city with her.

(28:51):
We did New York, we did here,we did California.
So it's great because it'sallowing me to also continue our
connection and spend more timetogether.

And you know when the show's over, the show's over
, but being with her is soexciting because it's as if
we're doing like almost like asecond part together.
What exactly do you do at theseevents?
Because I see her, I follow heron Instagram and I see, I mean,
I'm not.
I'm married, so I don't know ifthis is tailored toward me, but
what exactly do you guys do atthese events?

And if someone was interested in attending,
what would be your advice tothem?
Oh yeah, and she does abeautiful talk and presentation
about.
Also, it's for married.
There are so many marriedcouples at the event as well.
Oh, really, yeah, it's aboutdating to find someone, and also
dating in your marriage andstaying married.

Which is a real thing that I need to work on.

It is and she said you must, must, must, carve
out a date night If it's notevery week, it's every two weeks
, where it's just the two of youand you go somewhere and you do
something.
It could even be a double datewith another couple, but it's
just about you connectingoutside of the house but having
also a consistent date night,which I love because it really
like brings back sort of thespark and like discovering new

(30:04):
things, and she's really adamantabout that.
So she does that and thenshe'll bring me up and just to
talk about.
It's funny.
The last thing we talked aboutlast night was the no touch rule
.
And she's like Harmony is atoucher and has anyone you know
gone on a date where, like theycouldn't touch?
And she explained the wholereason behind it.
So she'll pull me up atdifferent things.

(30:25):
And then the last two events wedid in New York.
She also did a comedy event.
She pulled up my boyfriend.
So she'll pull up him and thenshe'll do a whole thing as to
you know how to like really dateand come together and when
you're on the same page, what itlooks like and how to be open
to it, and she'll pull in likedifferent elements from people.
And then she'll do livematchmaking on stage with three

(30:47):
singles usually different ages,so one in their 30s, one in
their 40s, 50s, 60s, it doesn'tmatter and she'll really dig
into the audience, askingquestions, getting to know them,
and then she'll say doesanybody have an idea?
For you know the women on stageBecause you know it's all about
like people in your history,like there's somebody in the
crowd that might know somebody,but you're not thinking that top

(31:09):
of mind.
So that's kind of how she leadsit and I think if anybody wants
to attend and get involved, youknow she's always at.
You know local Chabad's orJewish community events and I
think that it's really wonderfulto just go hear people in that
space speak and give advicebecause there's something that's
going to click for you Doesn'tmean you have to sign up for
matchmaking.
It just means there's somethingthat's going to click that she

(31:32):
says that applies to you.
That might shift the way youthink about love.

I love that so much and I definitely love the
idea of dating your spouse.
Like I said, that's something Ineed to work on.
I feel like when we're alone wetalk about our company and our
child, and I'm sure she's gotyou know rules about talking
about things that are not yourchildren.

If that's what it is, then she'll say don't
talk about the company and yourchild when you go out together
and if you're dating for thefirst time.
But obviously she doesn't wantyou to be fake about it, but I
think it's more about justreconnecting how you connected
when you first dated and thenalso doing like fun things
together that you might not doif your daughter was with you.
You know, take that away justfor like the evening, just for
one evening.

Yeah so what would be your advice to someone who's
interested in working with amatchmaker that they've kind of?
They either don't want to, orthey've exhausted the apps, or
they feel like they've dated alot of people in their city and
they're just looking for anotheroption which is like super old
school I feel like you know thisgoes back to like the shtetl in
, you know the 1800s and thatsort of thing.

(32:35):
But what would be your advicefor someone who's interested in
working with a matchmaker andyes, interested in working with
a matchmaker, I would say do.

I would say try a matchmaker.
Because what happens the minuteyou tell the universe, Hashem,
whatever you believe in, thatyou're doing it differently,
You're trying to find somebodydifferent?
It means that you arepositively trying to manifest
the love in your life, butyou're open and you're willing
to do it in a different way.

(33:03):
So come like, show me all theoptions, Because I was very
against going to a matchmaker.
I'm like, oh you know, peoplejust pay to do that, I don't
need to do that.

I feel like there's a stigma like before,
because I know there was Indianmatchmaking before and now
there's Jewish matchmaking.
But I feel like when I thoughtof matchmakers, I was like, oh,
this is what the ultra Orthodoxdo and it's the match these 17
year old girls and they don'tget to meet their husbands.
So it was very interesting tome to find out through TV shows
that this is still a very validway to find your special someone

(33:31):
.

It is, and I started putting just my name
into pools.
You know pools of matchmakers,which basically means you know
the man will pay for the serviceand then you're kind of
considered in the pool.
But I also did it where I'mlike you know what I'm going to
pay and just do somethingdifferently and try and go on
three dates, just as again, likeI'm just saying, I'm open, show

(33:55):
me all the ways.
And I think it's such abeautiful way to meet someone
because the matchmaker is soinvested in who you are.
She wants you to find love.
It's not like a dating appright, where you're just like
going through the motions and sothey really take an interest in
everything that you're lookingfor.
And Aliza especially, like hermission in life is to literally,
you know, bring people together.

(34:17):
I mean a certain level ofmatchmaking.
Then put yourself in a freepool or, you know, go about
contacting different matchmakersin your city or even, you know,
internationally, because younever know.

Where would you find these matchmakers?
Is this something you wouldjust kind of Google matchmaker?

Yeah, you can Google it in your city.
I mean, there are a bunch thatare also, like you know, if
you're going to contact, like anAliza, obviously, and then
there's, like you know, like aTalkify that's always advertised
and if you literally justGoogle like matchmakers in your
city or just ones that you youknow are interested in, a whole
bunch will go up.
And then I would say, go totheir site and like, vet them,

(35:03):
have a call.
Most of these services willhave an initial consultation
call with you and then you candecide.
You know what what speaks toyou.

So, going back to this show, uh, I know because I
watch a lot of reality TV it'sheavily scripted and sometimes
very, very fake.
However, in the communicationthat I've had with you prior to
this interview and obviouslytalking to you now, it seems
like you're a lot like you wereon the show.
Was this a properrepresentation of how you are in

(35:33):
real life?
Oh, definitely.

So you think that you were?

portrayed accurately.

I was, and you know, obviously, like knowing a
lot about TV in general, I wasa little nervous how they would
edit me and you never know howyou're going to be edited or
skewed and obviously they did acouple of things to make me like
this character, like thepassionate stuff and the
mushrooms, but like it wasexactly who I am.
There was literally not.
There wasn't one thing that wasscripted, there wasn't one

(35:59):
thing that they were likeleading me to say, which I
thought was amazing because theyjust let me be who I am.
How they edit it is how theyedit it, but was amazing because
they just let me be who I am.
How they edit it is how theyedit it, but everything they
edit was what I said.
So it was like an exactdepiction of who I am, every
single part.
Obviously, they're going to goheavy on certain aspects, right,
like a lot was about like mefinding someone that I'm

(36:20):
attracted to and passionate, buthonestly, like I don't mean
whatever, but like if you seewho they set me up with, it's
like okay, I asked for A and yougave me B.
It was just like okay, sheasked for this, though she's
real about this.
Like this is what she's lookingfor.
So I don't think any of it wasskewed.
I can't say that for everybodyelse.
I don't know how they feel, butI've been speaking with some of

(36:41):
the cast.
They feel amazing about it.
They exactly who they were.

That's so nice.
Was it weird going to like acoffee shop with someone you
just met and then cameras beinglike right here, like?
As an actor like you're used tolike.
It's like that's the normal way, but kind of just like
socializing I think that musthave been very strange.

It is, and I think you know you forget about
the cameras there for after awhile because you really just
are who you are and you're sortof like the cameras over there,
you're having a coffee.
But I think it's more awkwardfor the date.
Like for my first date, aaron.
I could tell he was so nervous.
He's never done anything likethis.
So I give him so much credit.
For a man to able like to beable to go on a show like that

(37:20):
that is so public and putthemselves out there is really a
big thing.
For me, I think because I haveso much like experience in TV,
it didn't bother me as much.
But I think to the averageperson who's never done anything
like this, it's intimidating.
Yeah, it's a lot.
Yeah, and I made my last date.
I went to a flower shop and didflower arranging and that was
so awkward because we never metbefore and like we had to make

(37:43):
flowers and speak as if we wereon a first date.
So I could tell Ben his name ishe was a little nervous as well
, but you don't realize thecameras after a while.

That's good to know.
I feel like I'm alwaysinterested in how the reality TV
show works, because people.

But you know a lot of the other ones are very
edited.

Well they have like strict NDAs too, but I'm
like I want all the details ofall of this, I just feel like
the Bachelor and all those Wellthey get those people very drunk
, very drunk.
We always joke about like whatwe would do if we were producers
on this show, because I thinkthese people are super
manipulative too.

Oh yeah, oh my God, it's like Like the love is
blind, Like the whole thingcame out, like how they you know
they get them so tired, sodrunk.

They don't I know so tired, so drunk, and then
there's someone being like well,I heard that so-and-so said
Exactly so this one, by the way.

so I'm like, please feed me drinks.

Like that's how I felt on this show, like, first
of all, I don't do mornings asyou know, Nicole, my first date
was at 1030 in the morning,which means I had to like get
ready.

Yeah, I was that's early you know it's like
when you're in there, for you'renot there yet.
But let me tell you, thecircles under your eyes start.
I'm like you guys, I do not domorning dates ever.
I'm only a night person.
So that first day I felt veryself conscious Because I'm like
how are they going to show me?
How am I going to look?
This is going to be horrible.
I'm not even.
I don't come alive till noon.
Okay, even this.

(39:10):
I was like oh my God, how am Igoing to, like, come alive?

You know, so, but anyway.

I'm like feed me drinks, so like there are a
couple of times I'm like Ineeded a little liquid courage.
But I also wanted to be veryclear and this was my time to be
own my truth and to be clear inwhat I wanted.
So I really wanted nothing tolike affect what I was saying.
That was very important to me.

Are there other dating reality shows that you
like, Like we?
I remember watching the firstseason of Married at First Sight
.
I love Married at.

First Sight, I'm addicted.
I'm addicted Because, first ofall, no show is longer than that
show.
Right, it's like 23 episodes ina season.
I'm embarrassed to say this,but I think I watched it in like
three, four or five days.
Whatever it is, it's so badbecause I am.
So at the beginning I'm kind oflike, all right, this is boring
, I'm bored, I'm bored.
Then, when they start to movein, I am so invested in all of

(40:06):
them and I and that one and Ilove love is blind, because I'm
just like I would never go onthat show, but to watch the
chaos and what happens, I'mfascinated by that show.

I would be terror.
I mean, I would be really goodreality tv, but I think it would
be terrible for my mentalhealth because I'm so I have
such social like anxiety and I'dbe like everyone hates me and
I'd be like the crazy girl thatthey'd show crying in all the
previews.
So I feel like I'd be, I'd begood reality tv, but I don't

(40:38):
think it's something that Iwould want it right, even if it
was.

Listen, you have to be strong for this.
You, in any show that you do, Ijust feel like you do have to
have a lot of self-confidenceand you have to be really just
bold in what you say and own it.
Because when you see thingsback, I know a lot of people on
these shows are like oh my God,I was edited so poorly.
That's not who I am, but it iswho you are.

(41:03):
The last Married.
At First Sight, there was agirl.
I'm like, oh my God, it is whoyou are.
The last Married.
At First Sight, there was agirl.
I'm like, oh my God, they'reshowing her in the worst light,
but she is doing these things.
So, how can you not be that wayin real life?
No, you are.
That's what you're doing.

It's some aspect of you in some way I get it.
My husband was listening to apodcast and my podcast started
right after and it was metalking.
I just went oh, and he's likedid you just oh your own podcast
?
And I was like yeah, I don'tlike the sound of my voice.
We are our own worst.
We are, we really are.

(41:38):
And I feel like it's reallyhard, especially as a woman,
like you said, as you get olderor you're not like the perfect
whatever, to kind of be reallyjudgmental about every aspect of
yourself and it's hard.

It is and it gets harder when you get older.
But I will say, when you getolder you do also get more like
I don't care.

Yeah, what people say Like this is who I am, this
is who I am, I don't care.

I wasn't like that in my 30s.
I don't think I could have donewhat I did in my 30s with this,
because I was scared you know,I was scared to put it out there
.

So you talked a little bit about the response
from fans, so they've beenencouraging.
It's been good because I alwaysfeel like you know, as your
social media following grows, itkind of opens you up to all
sorts of interesting people andtheir opinions.

The bigger the following, the worse it gets.
I mean, that's just anybodypublic in general, even the most
amazing, incredible humans inthe world get that, and that's
just people hating or peoplefeeling insecure about
themselves.
But I will say I mean I thinkit's been like 95, maybe 97%
positive.

(42:40):
I mean I wasn't expecting that.
I was expecting half and half.
I absolutely was, because Iremember when Netflix called
they have like a whole, you know, pr team.
That's like we need to prepareyou and also, you know, any like
anti-Semitic comments are goingto come your way and this is
before anything started,obviously, with what's going on
now.
So they prepare you and, youknow, they give you a little

(43:03):
prep and I'm like, I'm good,like, like I've been in this
world for a while.
I expect that there's going tobe some negativity especially.
You know, I don't.
I didn't want to come off likeany superficial or like whatever
, so but I have to say like thecomments were so encouraging and
positive I mean I screenshot somany of these comments so I can
remind myself my purpose ofgoing on the show, like just

(43:26):
your vibrant energy.
But you're leading the way forus and thank you for your story,
because they would just pourtheir story out to me
Unbelievable.
This is my story.
Thank you for sharing that.
You're 44 and you're trying tohave a child.
I've been trying to have achild.
My dad is sick, my mom is sickand I want to get married more
than anything, and you made mefeel not alone.

(43:47):
So I think that, of course, Igot like a million DMs from guys
that I could care less about,but also it was kind of great
because, like the 25-year-oldsthat are like, or the
20-year-olds that were like, canI take you out?
I'm like dear Lord, thank you,thank you for just at least
giving me this for a couple ofyears, right, I'm like.
You know how old I am.
I could be your mom.

You got this, you got it.

Yeah, but anyway that's nice to hear.

That's nice to hear.
It was beautiful.
So you talked a little bitabout like anti-Semitic stuff
and I know, since October 7th,you know, I have like less than
500 followers on Instagram and Ihave like three people who
follow me on TikTok, and one ismy sister-in-law's fiancee, um,
cause I like just started itlike last week, but they still

(44:33):
find me, they still find a wayto find me and are posting these
crazy things.
So how do you deal with thatwhen it does come about, cause I
feel like it can be reallydisheartening, especially with
everything going on right now,that there's these people that,
for no reason, are just like I.
Hate you as a person because ofhow you were born.

Absolutely.
It's not easy.
I think it goes with theterritory of just being Jewish
and then being on a Jewishpublic show.
They will find you and theywill say disgusting things that
I just delete.
I don't even read them, I'llsee, like the first, the
beginning of it, and I'll justmove on to the ones that are

(45:12):
like thank you so much forsupporting.
And I went down the rabbit hole, I will say, for a couple of
weeks where I felt verydepressed and very down about
what people were saying and notsaying Even just people.
I knew, like, why are peoplenot posting about what's going
on?
Even if you're not Jewish, youknow I would be posting about
everything.
Like just as a human, I wasdisappointed in humanity.

(45:35):
So I would just say I had totrain my brain to when I went to
my DMs or when I went to theselike requests which you know are
coming from people that whoknow bots, even their bots.

You have no idea.

I would get upset, but then I just started
to delete all of them and that'skind of how I just pushed
through.
I just knew, okay, this is mypurpose.
This has brought me closer tobeing more Jewish than I've ever
been.
More proud to be a Jewish womanon a show that's come out in a
time where we're dealing withall this anti-Semitic BS and

(46:14):
even more so.
I get to be a voice even more,and I never was that voice.
First of all, I'm the leastpolitical person in the entire
world.
I don't think I've ever postedone thing to do with the world,
you know, because I thought,leave that to the experts.
It's like you know, really, Ijust I didn't mean I didn't
believe in anything.
It doesn't mean you don't havea belief in what is right and

(46:36):
wrong, but I never used my voicefor that reason until now and I
felt like it was my duty and myobligation.
To start using my platformisn't huge.
I mean, I think I only havelike 9,000 followers, but those
9,000 followers are realfollowers and I'll lose.
By the way, I'll lose someevery single day.
Every day, I will lose, lose,lose when I post about Israel,

(46:59):
but I know that the right.
People are following me for areason and then it is my
obligation to also bring lightand joy back into people.
Because what happened to me andI think, so many people is that
I went down the depression holeof like, oh my God.
It was like a defeating feelingand I wasn't posting anything

(47:20):
joyful, I was posting everybodyelse's content and I'm like, oh
my God, I need to start bringingback the light and being the
light again.
That's who I was on the show.
That's why people enjoy me.
What am I doing?
So I felt like, oh, I need toget back to that.
So that's why I started notreading the negative comments,
because I just had to focus onbringing light back to people's

(47:41):
lives.

It's really hard.
I follow a lot of, like, allthe Jewish influencers and it's
just constant and it's veryimportant, it's very important
to talk about.
But sometimes I'm like let'stalk about something happy,
let's you know it almost likeyou know, but I feel like maybe
there's a sense of guilt ofposting something positive, yeah
, while there's people literallysitting in tunnels in Gaza so I
get it but I feel I'm all aboutthe idea of Jewish joy and kind

(48:06):
of bringing that big liketwo-bush fox coming up.
So it is important to me.
Yeah, there needs to be balance.

There's a place I think for both.
I felt guilty too.
I'm like, do I post about myfriend's birthday today when
this is going up?
But all I was posting was aboutwhat was going on in the world.
That I'm like, wait, this makesme feel good to post this, and
I know when I did, I remember itwas like a quote or something
inspirational.
So many people commented backlike thank you for that, because

(48:33):
they need to feel that.
You know, I think the Jewishjoy is so important.
I'm so glad you said that,because that's like what we need
to spread.

Yeah, I feel like a lot of Judaism, or just Jewish
holidays in general are sad.
We were talking about this lastnight when a friend was over
and I was like most Jewishholidays where they tried to
kill us.
They didn't, and now we eatlots of food.
Why is that?
Because there's been a lot ofpeople trying to kill us through
, you know, the last 5,000 years.
So I want to jump back to.
Something we talked about alittle bit earlier is the adult

(49:02):
bat mitzvah, so this issomething you'd be interested in
doing.

I want to do it so badly, I really do.
My cousin, who is a modernOrthodox, just said oh my God,
you need to go do it in Israel.
I don't know how to go aboutthis, but I must do this.
This is my mission.
I've talked to you.
I talked.

I don't remember which guest it was.
I'm terrible.
We'll have to figure out who itwas who had her bat mitzvah on
birthright in Israel, and I doknow that a lot of synagogues
also will do like a group adultb'nai mitzvah where it's like a
class where you like learn howto read Hebrew and then you get
to read part of your Torahportion.
So there's totally a lot ofoptions for that and now that
you're an adult you can havelike a banging party.

That's all.
That's what I want.
All your friends are able todrink.
Yeah, exactly, my boyfriendalso did not have a bar mitzvah.

Oh really.

So I'm like oh , my God, we could do this If we
stay together.
We could do this together.

Epic party, epic, epic party.
But yeah, you should definitelylike figure out.

Oh, I'm going to.
I'm going to talk to actually,my mom's rabbi at the Chabad,
who just did this event withAliza, and try and find out,
like how I can love to and, bythe way, and because I also want
to go to Israel, I haven't beento Israel so Ever, never.

I haven't either, and I feel like it's this deep,
dark secret.
Oh my God, okay, so we justshared a secret together.

I want to go so badly and my boyfriend has
family there, but I missed mybirthright trip and I never did
it.

I never did Birthright.
I know there were other options, but the problem is is like I'd
be like, okay, I'm going to doit, and then I'd book a show and
then something would happen.
So it was like I kept pushingback and I know Birthright, I
think the cutoff is like 26 andpeople were like they were like
but you can go later.
And I was just like we moved toNew York.
I was working full time tryingto like pay New York rent and
leave my multiple dogs andhusband behind for like 10 days.

(50:43):
And now I'm like, well, maybewe'll just wait until my
daughter's old enough to go, butlike I definitely want to go.
And I keep seeing these thingsabout like what do you call this
?
Like community, not communityservice?
Like they're helping peopleover there.

Yeah, they're doing the missions.

Yeah, like help missions and like I saw one
today and they're like hmm.

And I was like missions and like I saw one
today and they're like, and Iwas like I definitely want to do
it and now, obviously now morethan ever, you know, I think
I'll wait a little bit, but Iwant to go.

Yeah, for sure.
I definitely think it'simportant and I feel like I'll
be one of those people likekissing the ground when I get
off the plane.

Oh absolutely Absolutely.
I think we'll feel moreconnected Obviously we will more
than ever if we go that now.
So that's something I reallywant to do, and then I have to
figure out how to have a barmitzvah.

Yeah, you could.
You could do multiple.
You can do both, because I knowpeople who had like I have a
family friend who had atraditional bar mitzvah at our
synagogue and then went with agroup to Israel.

Music (51:38):
And.

I don't know if they do this for girls, because
he was a boy he had.
He read from the Torah at atthe Wailing Wall.

I've heard of that.
Actually, I know.

So you can do both , you don't need to choose.

You can do both.

This is my mission , so I want to ask you about
your name.
It's so unique and it's sofitting, and I definitely
believe that people are kind ofa product of your name.
Is there a story behind yourname?

Yeah, well, so my dad named me my mom had
nothing to do with it.
They had an agreement that if Iwas a girl, my dad picked the
name, if I was a boy, my mompicked the name.
And so it's interesting because, if you back in the day I was
born in 1978, by the way therewere no trendy names.
Okay, trendy names is now thatwas not a thing.
It was so by the book, andHarmony was obviously not in the

(52:26):
baby book, and my dad at thetime was so like a free, like,
almost like an ex-hippie, youknow, like so into music.
He wanted a name thatencompassed music, nature, peace
, calm, which is interestingconsidering my environment.
But anyway, he was obsessedwith music.
Obsessed, I mean, he had like500 vinyls.

(52:46):
I grew up like he played like avinyl every 30 minutes.
He was just with music obsessed.
I mean, he had like 500 vinyls.
I grew up like he played like avinyl every 30 minutes.
He was just into music and um,yeah, and he wanted something
that kind of like encompassedall of that.
He, I think he went toWoodstock.
He was like we used to wearturquoise jewelry and fur boots.
I'm like, if you met him now,you're like, okay, he's the most
conservative person, but he wasthe most like free spirit and

(53:07):
maybe that was going against youknow how he grew up.
Yeah, but I'll never forget thestory.
Like when he met my mom, he waswearing like these furry boots
at this party and like aturquoise necklace and my mom's
like ooh, he's so cool, you know.
So, anyway, he named me Harmonyand then I was born in this

(53:29):
like crazy snowstorm in New York, the snowstorm of 78.
Nobody could visit me.
The hospitals were basicallylike like only the people that
were born could like be there.
No one would come.
And I remember he said Harmonyis her name and nobody thought
that that would be my real name.
Like they're like, wait aminute, I've never heard of that
.
And they're like, trust me,this is her name.
Never heard of that.

(53:49):
And they're like trust me, thisis her name.
So it's wild because itactually is very.
It has like a Jewish heritageto it, like there is like a
meaning of it is connected toJudaism.
Because they're like that's nota Jewish name.
And so my dad was like, oh no,it is so fast forward.
I always wanted to just go byHarmony because I didn't have a
middle name.

(54:09):
They didn't think anything cango with it.
So I made one up when I wasyounger, because all my friends
who were Catholic had like twonames yeah so I'm like, okay, so
it was like Harmony, aaron, andI'm like, okay, it didn't go,
so anyway, the whole point oflike moving into this next
chapter of my life, which is sobeautiful, I'm like I finally
know why he named me this.
It's like my job in thisbeautiful world is to bring

(54:31):
harmony into other people'slives.
That was it, and I didn'treally get it until I got it,
and now I'm you know, I have mynew platform that's going to
come out, which is Life withHarmony, and it's about helping
people find the harmony in theirlife.

I said thank you, dad.
I do believe that names reallydictate people's personalities.
I feel like if you met like aChet, you know what Chet looks
like.

Oh my God, if I met a Chet.
It's so true.
I feel like he would like belike a stylist from like sex and
like be on a show like QueerEye for the Straight Guy or
something.

Yeah, you definitely.
Names are very important.
So you're very LA.
I feel like, because I grew upin LA, you were a very LA person
.
How did you end up in LosAngeles, from you know, living
20 minutes outside New York City?
How did that happen?

I think I always knew that I wanted to be
surrounded by nature and I waslooking for something that was
different than what I wassupposed to do.
So back to when my friends allgot married at 25, everybody was
living on the Upper East Sideof New York City.
So was I.
I was living witha boyfriend.
They were all getting engaged.
It was like my turn dogs and Ijust felt like I was in a box.

(55:43):
I literally felt so suffocated,like is this what we're paying?
Whatever?
Couple grand, you know, threegrand, whatever a month for a
couple grand?

Oh, this was, by the way, back in the day, back
in the day.

So I'm like I I I just knew this wasn't what I
was looking for.

Rose in Titanic says something very similar
before she tries to jump off theship where she's like I looked
at this and saw the rest of mylife and was like I can't do it.

That's right, oh my.

God yeah.

I literally assessed.
I remember I said I'm going togo for the summer to LA and if I
like it I'll see how I feel.
And I just knew that when Iwent I was never coming back.
And that's exactly whathappened.
And my boyfriend at the timesaid do you want to get another
apartment?
You know, we'll move intowhatever.
I'm there, two suitcases, I had$2,000 in my bank account not

(56:34):
enough to even put like a downpayment on anything, and I had
two suitcases of clothes and Inever came back.
I mean, then I came back tovisit but I mean I moved, was
told to do that.

(56:55):
I just wanted to fly and alsowanting to be a TV host.
That was where I was going, youknow like I just knew there was
more.
And it wasn't just about Ididn't want to become famous.
It wasn't about like the lightsand the glitter, it was just
more.
I wanted a differentenvironment that fed my soul,

(57:16):
and now that I'm there 18 years,I just know why.
I was looking for a place where, two hours away, you can be
anywhere mountains, beach desert.

My husband always says that from LA you can be the
desert, the mountains, the snow, the beach.

Exactly, and that's what I was looking so
like deep in my soul.
I just needed nature.
I really felt like it was thenature that drew me there.
Also a little bit of my dadbeing like you should be married
, you should do this.
I'm like, okay, I don't wantthat life.
I may struggle and take thehard path, but that path is for
me and that was another reason,I think subconsciously I moved
there, not knowing that was thepart of it, but it was.

(57:48):
So I love it there.
But now I'm in Miami and likemy boyfriend's here, and I'm not
a Florida person, so it's alittle bit difficult.

Florida is a very divisive subject now as well.
Yeah, I mean look.

Miami is good if it's going to be somewhere,
but, however, I'm such a neatlike I need the mountains and I
love hiking.

There's no hiking in Miami.
Yeah, no, no, no, there's a lotof hiking in LA.

You mentioned running and I just laughed
because you know, being from theValley, it's like let's go with
running and I do more likeMalibu Palisades.
But that's my jam.
I need to be in your water.
I like the.

Palisades.
I did a show in the Palisadeslike right out of high school.
You did, I did at the non-uniontheater and it I would drive on
the 405.

Oh my God.

Through traffic to go do a show at this theater.
Amazing, so you are the founderof Pop your Shop, which is a
which, basically, we createpop-up shops, correct?
Yes, yes, okay.
So what inspired you to startthis company and what are some
of the favorite pop-ups thatyou've worked on?

Um, yeah, so again, like not going with the
rules, I was working forAngelina Magazine, which is a
luxury lifestyle magazine in LosAngeles, so it's great.
It talks about all things youknow real estate, food, hot
places to go, what's trending,fashion, beauty, all of it and I
was doing all their events.
I beauty all of it and I wasdoing all their events.
I was the event director thereand I was working with tons of

(59:17):
brands.
And I just thought it's whenpop-ups were just coming out, by
the way, like Target would dotheir Christmas pop-up I mean,
it was so new and I just thought, oh my God, all these brands
really want their own store orjust want their own area to like
showcase their product.
Why don't I do this on my own?
And I just thought I could dothis on my own.
Well, it's not so easy.
But I just thought let me savefor a year at my job and break

(59:41):
off and see what clients I couldkind of take with me.
And then I started popular shop.
I think it was.
Oh my God, when did I say 2000?
I would say I think it was 2013.
I started it, or 14, somethingaround that arena.
Yeah, I think it was 14.
And I just thought I wanted tocreate my own experiences for
people.
It goes back to bringing joy.

(01:00:02):
I wanted to like really bringpeople to a place where they
could feel, touch, see newproducts and experience a fun
event.
And why did I need to work foran entity?
I could just do this by myself,so that was kind of like what
really inspired me behind it andI've always been an
entrepreneur I just didn't knowif I can make it as an
entrepreneur.
And even now, like I still feellike, ah, is it imposter

(01:00:24):
syndrome?
I've had it all these years,but now I'm shifting into a
different realm and I don't knowhow to.
It's almost like I don't knowhow to reinvent myself again.
But you really do know it comesfrom within.
It's like you doing the podcast.
It's I want to do a podcast, bythe way, for five years.
I'm just going, I'm jumpingbecause it's for a reason,
because-.

Nicole Kelly (01:00:39):
Mazel tov, thank you, but I never did it because
I just didn't know how toreinvent myself again.
Imposter syndrome is also likea very real thing, but I feel
like everyone, unless they'renarcissists secretly has
imposter syndrome.
I agree, I think that it'snormal if you're successful in
any capacity where you feel likeyou don't deserve success.

Harmonie Kreiger (01:00:59):
But then you just got to do it right and I
still haven't done it becauseI'm like, oh my God, how is it
going to look?
What are people going to think?
You know, go back to pop yourshop.
When I left, I didn't knowanything, nicole, Like literally
, what do I know about running abusiness?

I knew just how to put on an event.
I feel exactly the same waywhen we start our business.
We were like I have a degree inmusical theater and I have to
deal with like a CPA.
Now, exactly, I don't know whatI'm doing.

I still don't know what I'm doing, but I know
what I'm good at and I know whatI'm not.
So when I did this, I justthought I'm good enough in my
craft and people love me andlove what I bring that that's
enough to start it, and theother stuff will work itself out
.
So, yeah, I mean like mybusiness.
By the way, it was all referral.
I didn't do any marketing.

(01:01:47):
I should have, because if I didmarketing, I probably would
have gotten a ton more, but Iknew that pop-ups were not the
only thing I wanted to do.
So that's the other part.
Like I didn't want to scale it.
I could have scaled it in everycity and I just thought, no, I
did that, like I'm good there.
I want to go back to reallylike inspiring and helping
people.
I don't want to work withbrands anymore, but one of my
favorite ones I ever did was atwo of them them bcbg.

(01:02:10):
I did like this amazing beautypop-up.
They were going to the beautyspace.
They just launched this in 2020, um, which they're known for
fashion, and they we did thislike influencer experience where
everybody got to like try it on, but be at this like gorgeous
social, uh, club, private club.
And they got to like have um,makeup artists put it on, like
they just it was very like.

(01:02:31):
It was very experiential in thefact that they got to touch
everything, see everything andexperience what it would feel
like to, you know, just to havelike the beauty around them, as
opposed to just going into astore picking it up and like
trying on some blush.
We had like a couple of momentsthat, yeah, it just made them
feel special and I came up withsome fun concepts for them to

(01:02:56):
take part in.
And then I did one for LOLDolls, which is like the kids
dolls.
They were launching a movie andI did this like amazing,
amazing, pop up with like theirnew line and really just to
bring joy to kids.
And we had all these funInstagram moments and people can
like you know, there's like somany fun things.

(01:03:16):
It was like Disneyland, likeyou can just play.
So, yeah, I just love creatingfun, innovative things that are
new, like in the sense thatpeople could just like feel that
they're a part of something,and then also connecting with
others, because I think a lot ofthese influencers too, like
when I'm doing this, they justgo, they take their selfie or

(01:03:36):
picture and then they leave, andso what I was really about with
Pop your Shop was creating newexperiences where people can
connect and share informationand feel like they've made a new
friend at an event.

That's much more fun, in my opinion, I think,
think than just kind of snappinga picture and leaving so this
last portion I do this with allmy guests is very much like the
actor's studio, so these arejust kind of short form
questions.
You don't need to like thinktoo much about it, okay, so what
is your favorite yiddish word?

uh, let's, uh, I, I would say chutzpah ch
Chutzpah.
It's a good one.
What I say I try to have allthe time and I love other
people's chutzpah.

What is your favorite Jewish holiday?

Well, I don't know if I would say holiday.
I think Shabbat, though, is myfavorite thing.
It's just connected me so muchmore to pausing, turning off all
my devices and connecting withthe people that I love.
That has changed everything forme.

I need to disconnect my devices at least
every once in a while.
I need to work on that.
I'm bad at it, it's sodifficult.
So we talked about this.
If you had a bat mitzvah today,what would your theme be?

Oh, Barbie for sure.
But everybody would be like adifferent Barbie and everybody
would be a different Ken.

What profession other than your own would you
want to attempt?

Oh, my goodness, so many.
I love trying new things andbeing like.
Every time I go to Starbucks Ifeel like I would love to be a
barista because I had no ideahow to do any of those things.
But it boggles my mind how muchthey know and how friendly they
are when they deliver, like thecoffee drinks, like I feel like
I would want to do that Also.

(01:05:24):
I have a dream I would be aprofessional dancer, 100%, where
I perform.
That is like the dream of alldreams 100% where I perform.

That is like the dream of all dreams, If heaven
is real and God is there towelcome you what would you like
to hear them say?

Harmony, you truly made an impact on the
world, and everybody that youlove is going to be okay, and
they will meet you here whenthey're ready.

So is there anything you want to plug so
that anybody listening knowsabout?
I know you talked about yourpodcast.
If you want to talk a littlebit about that or anything else
you're working on.

I would love to plug the podcast because it's
finally going to come out nextmonth after five years.
So it will be Life with harmonyand it will be focused on
personal development, but it'llbe solo cast, interviewing
experts and really bringingharmony into your life and, in
the areas where you feel stuck,giving you digestible tools to

(01:06:26):
really get you there.
And I'm my own client in thispodcast, so everything that I
was like going through when Idid turn 40, it's for everybody,
but especially people that feelstuck at a certain age, really
getting them through those timesbut helping them navigate with
tools where they can kind of getout of their own head.
That's really what the podcastis about.

(01:06:46):
And then new information in allsectors, so it'll be everything.
Wellness too, especially forwomen, because our hormones
start to change and I didn'tknow that.
Oh yeah, it'll be introducing alot of experts and like
practitioners in those fields aswell To kind of bring in new
information, and that will justbe.
My Instagram Will be at HarmonyKrieger, which will be the same

(01:07:08):
Instagram.
I'll have life with Harmony,but that will be the.
It will be all under really oneumbrella.
And then I'm also working on I'mdoing.
I already created a Jewishsupport group for women in LA,
but I'm going to expand thecommunity and open that up and
start to do events for Jewishwomen all over.

(01:07:28):
Oh, cool.

Well, when you're in New York, please let me know
I would love to come and I havea few people in New York that
please let me know I would loveto come, and I have a few people
in New York that I'mcollaborating with, so maybe we
can chat too and see how we canbring.
Yeah, let me know we will.
You have my info.
I will.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
It has been a pleasure talkingto you.

(01:07:57):
When the moon is in the seventhhouse and Jupiter aligns with
Mars, then peace will guide theplanets and love will steer the
stars.
This is the dawning of the ageof Aquarius.
The age of Aquarius, aquarius,aquarius.

(01:08:26):
Harmony and understanding,sympathy and trust abounding, no
more falsehood or derision,golden living dreams of visions,
mystic crystal revelation andthe mind's true liberation
Aquarius, aquarius, aquarius,aquarius, aquarius, aquarius,

(01:08:54):
aquarius.
When the moon is in the seventhhouse and Jupiter aligns with
Mars, then peace will guide theplanet and love will stay the

(01:09:17):
same.

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"The Age of Aquarius" - Finding Harmony with Harmonie Krieger

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}"The Age of Aquarius" - Finding Harmony with Harmonie Krieger