December 26, 2024 • 34 mins
In this special bonus episode of Shelf Criticism, Stephen takes a harrowing journey into the ill-advised world of made-for-TV sequels with Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure. Armed with his signature wit and scholarly insights, Stephen unpacks this cinematic misstep, exploring its threadbare plot, baffling production choices, and the unfortunate misuse of comedic legends like Ed Asner and Eric Idle.
Beyond the main feature, the episode also delves into the Shelfless Endeavors segment, where Stephen reviews three standout films: the delightful French romantic comedy Anaïs in Love, the screwball drama Anora, and the steamy yet tastefully crafted Babygirl. With his keen eye for storytelling and visuals, Stephen highlights what made each of these films shine, offering a palate cleanser after the rancid experience of Cousin Eddie’s escapades.
Tune in for a mix of humor, analysis, and cathartic critique as Stephen wraps up the holiday season and sets the stage for his year-end review in the next episode. Whether you’re a fan of cinematic flops, arthouse gems, or anything in between, this episode has something for everyone—except, perhaps, the makers of Christmas Vacation 2.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Shelf Criticism, where Stephen, your ever curious guide to the cinematic universe,
(00:16):
usually dives into the treasures and occasional trash of his sprawling DVD collection. But
today we're venturing beyond the confines of the Curio cabinet. That's right, it's
time for a special bonus episode of Beside My Shelf, where we leave the comfort of physical
media behind to examine a film that's not on the shelf. But maybe it should be, or maybe
(00:38):
it shouldn't. Either way, it's going under the microscope. As a literature and film scholar,
Stephen knows how to read between the lines of even the most chaotic screenplay, and his
love of cinema runs deep, from arthouse masterpieces to campy B-movie delights. So whether you're here
(00:58):
for analysis, a laugh, or just a fresh perspective on films you might not expect to hear about,
grab your favourite snack, settle in, and join us as we take this detour Beside My Shelf. It's
going to be a real adventure. Welcome to everyone. Some of you are still reeling from a holiday
(01:31):
hangover. Some literally, some figuratively. Others of you are sad to see it go. And there
are some of you who just wanted to crawl back into its cave and not rear its head again. Well,
not until department stores start rolling out merchandise in September so you can begin your
yearly tradition of griping about how early they start. I do hope all of you who celebrated
had a good time, and for those of you who didn't, I hope the Chinese food was good. I certainly had
(01:55):
an interesting time with Shelf Christmasism. It was lovely to go back and revisit Gremlins,
a film I have fond memories of. The Holiday was not my favourite film. And after going 21 years
somehow miraculously avoiding seeing Elf, I finally gave it a viewing, and rage hated it.
I know it's a beloved film to some of you, so my apologies if you're one of those. Let's just
(02:17):
nicely agree to disagree. However, in researching Elf, I came across an interesting tidbit,
something I was completely unaware of. Of the holiday films I do enjoy, Christmas Vacation
ranks high. My late wife and I used to watch it and die hard every Christmas without fail.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered there was a made-for-TV sequel from 2003,
the same year as Elf, Christmas Vacation 2, Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure. Incidentally,
(02:40):
I realized on the last podcast I said Uncle Eddie's Island Adventure, and he is an uncle to Audrey and
Russ, but it's Cousin Eddie. Partially though, because I'm a completist, and partially because
I like to torture myself with bad films, I found it on Amazon Prime and immediately purchased it.
Upon watching it, let's just say I had feelings. Feelings that I want to talk about. But I didn't
(03:02):
buy a DVD copy, though a peek at eBay tells me at some point it did get a DVD release. Instead,
I opted for streaming, thus it doesn't sit on my shelf. And it got me thinking, between Prime and
Fandango at home, used to be Voodoo, I have a pretty massive collection of films that I've
accumulated from streaming. Now a lot of those are digital copies included upon purchasing a DVD,
sure. But I've also been known to scroll around the service and grab something that was on sale.
(03:26):
There were times when I had the notion to watch something that was available only on a subscription
service. I've been known just to make a purchase. I never rent those because, I don't know, I just
figure if I like it, I might want to watch it again. And usually it's not that much more expensive
just to go ahead and own it. Plus, I guess I just like to waste money sometimes. So I came up with
this idea for bonus episodes every now and again. And in doing so, of course, I'm leaving the door
(03:47):
open for potentially more of them. And I'm simply going to call this beside my shelf, because I'm
going to run that shelf self-hunt as far as I can into the ground. Even though Christmas is over,
we still have the holidays. New Year's Day, Twelfth Night, Epiphany. Besides, Christmas Vacation 2 is
so bad, it would turn Buddy the Elf into the Grinch. Last episode I talked about that speech
(04:08):
Kate gives in Gremlins, how she hates Christmas because her father dressed as Santa to surprise
her and got stuck in the chimney and died. Well, this film is so bad, it has even more potential
to make a person hate Christmas. The newly reformed Grinch's heart would shrink four sizes after
watching this terrible film. After Scrooge's change of heart, if he were to turn on the boob
tube and see this, he would run right back over to the Cratchits and punch Tiny Tim in the face.
(04:31):
I knew it wasn't going to be any good, but come on, how bad could it be? Cousin Eddie's antics
in the vacation films are always hilarious. Snot, the pure Mississippi leg hound, is back.
Ed Esner did double duty in 03 of Christmas films, doing both Elf and this one. Lee Sung Hai is in it,
and I totally do not know her from a few spreads in a certain gentleman's magazine back in the 90s.
Definitely not ones hidden behind my bookcase where no one ever looked. This thing had the
(04:54):
potential to actually work, and it seemed like a decent enough idea, but so did the Rolling Stones
putting on a free concert at Altamont in 1969. For starters, unlike Vegas Vacation and that flat
vacation remake with Ed Helms and Christina Applegate, this one had National Lampoon's
production behind it. National Lampoon, of course, started out as a spinoff from the Harvard Lampoon,
(05:14):
a humor publication from that university. The rag had already expanded to radio, theater,
and albums before they went to film. Beginning with Animal House, the production released a spade of
films, varying qualities, but ones that would shape the American comedic landscape for generations
to come. Having those two words in front of the title doesn't guarantee success. As a matter of
fact, most of the output from the production company is actually pretty bad. Loaded Weapon 1,
(05:36):
anybody? Still, there are some solid entries in the catalog as well, such as the aforementioned
Animal House and of course Van Wilder. The first vacation was based on the short story, Vacation
58, written by John Hughes. And yes, that John Hughes. 16 candles. The only called Dad by the
narrator of the short story. The film gave us the high strung family man, Clark Griswold. It was a
runaway success in 1983, spawning the sequel European Vacation two years later. 1989 saw the
(06:01):
third film, Christmas Vacation. Hughes wrote the first and third, co-writing European Vacation with
Robert Klain and also getting a story credit. Vegas Vacation and the 2015 remake were notably
divested of the National Lampoon's label. And let's face it, neither were really all that good.
So National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2 was at least potentially a good start. Hughes didn't pin
(06:21):
this one, but Maddy Simmons did. He's perhaps not as well known a name as John Hughes, but Simmons
was the publisher of the aforementioned magazine, National Lampoon's from 1970 to 1989. And he had
also produced Animal House and all the vacations except for the reboot. He was executive producer
of the Christmas sequel as well. Nick Mark was brought into direct. Mostly a television director,
he'd worked on several well-known shows, including seven of the episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
(06:45):
Among them were Something Blue, one of the funniest in a show known for its wit and humor,
Conversations with Dead People, which is an absolute masterpiece, and Fans of the Show are
going to immediately squeal when they hear this, Fool for Love, which is generally considered at
least in the top 15 episodes of a highly critically acclaimed show that incidentally gave us 144 total
episodes. So, so far so good, right? And then on June 18th, 2003, Variety reported that Ed Asner,
(07:11):
Fred Willard, and Jake Thomas were signed onto the project. And incidentally, this is the only piece
of media I can find about this film. No reviews, nothing else from the trades, just this exists,
at least from what I've been able to dig up. Still, Ed Asner is a beloved comedic actor,
as is Fred Willard, and apparently Thomas was best known for Lizzie McGuire. I know nothing about him
(07:31):
or that show because I was in my 20s, I think, when it was playing and I had zero interest in it.
We also get Randy Quaid, duh, as cousin Eddie, who let's face it is probably the best part of
Christmas Vacation. And there are some great parts all around. Miriam Flynn, playing Catherine,
his long-suffering wife, is also returning. In perhaps the most interesting bit of casting,
Dana Berry reprises her role in the original Vacation of Audrey. It was tradition in the
(07:53):
Vacation film for the Griswold children, Audrey and Russ, to be played by different actors each
time. In fact, Baron is the only one to play one twice. Now, it does seem a bit strange since,
if the film is supposed to be a direct sequel to Christmas Vacation, even if it was 14 years later,
it seems as though Juliette Lewis would reprise the role. Likely they were unable to get her,
as she was a recognizable star. She had roles in Cape Fear, Strange Day, National Born Killers
(08:17):
after that, which had likely enhanced her star power. Baron, on the other hand, had worked mostly
on television and made for TV movies, and at least there was another actor with ties to the
franchise on board. The supporting cast is rounded out only by two other actors that might ring a
bell to some. I mentioned Lee Sung-Hai, a South Korean actor, mostly known for her B movies and
TV appearances, and of course, as mentioned before, a host of Playboy pictorials in the 1990s.
(08:41):
And if you get the sneaking suspicion she's only there to provide eye candy, well, tell your buddy
Sus to stop sneaking and strut proudly. You figured it out. And then there's Eric Idle. Yes,
Monty Python alum Eric freaking Idle, one of the funniest human beings on the planet. And of course,
that's also a callback to European Vacation, where he also makes a small cameo. Okay, so we're good,
right? It's got to be a good film. Now, never mind the red flags. They were there, beginning with the
(09:03):
made for TV label. Not that there haven't been some good films to come through this medium,
though I dare say most, say like Roots, North and South, they immediately come to mind,
are actually miniseries as opposed to movies. Last season, I tackled a couple of made for Canadian
television films, and I can personally attest that neither of them were a rewarding watch.
Vegas Vacation had flopped in 97, and with good reason. That's not to say a theatrical release of
(09:27):
Christmas Vacation 2 might not have drawn in a crowd. Holiday films tend to have a built-in
audience, and by this time, the original was a beloved favorite. But there is Red Flag number
two, right? No Chevy Chase, no Beverly D'Angelo. Can you really have a vacation film without Clark
and Ellen? It's almost like if we aren't going to go for a theatrical release with all the cast,
we probably don't have a good plan. Maybe just a cobbled together sloppy production that is nothing
(09:50):
but a cynical cash grab. There's that suspicion fella sleuthing around on tiptoe again. Focusing
on Cousin Eddie feels more like an Extended Universe kind of thing, and we're still five
years away from Iron Man at this point. But back to my earlier question, how bad can it be? Perhaps
it could be one of those so bad it's good films that I tend to enjoy. Manos, The Hand of Fate,
Howard the Duck, Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. No, it's just one of those films
(10:14):
that's plain bad, full stop. I'm seriously racking my brain over here trying to think of something
I've seen that is worse. Troll 2, Bio Dome, Glitter, Jiggly, all those films like the freaking
Godfather in comparison. Movie 43 may still have the claim to worst ever, or maybe not. I don't
know. At least I chuckled once or twice during that one, I think. Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure did
(10:36):
not elicit a single laugh from me. Heck, at least I laughed a couple of times when someone got hurt
in Elf. No, this film is as stupid as it is humorless. The threadbare plot feels more like
a bunch of cobbled together skits, none of which are funny, with no real focus or direction.
The only thing that got me through it was, first, my unadulterated spite, and when even that wasn't
(10:57):
enough, my sheer stubbornness as I was determined to outlast the tedium, an insult to not just
National Lampoon, but to the entire art of filmmaking. You know that mantra I have that
I'm always spewing? No such thing as a guilty pleasure. If you like it, own it, love it, be happy,
don't feel guilty about it. I try not to judge anyone over anything, out loud anyway. I silently
(11:18):
judge people all the time. What? I'm not St. Stephen over here. That's a Grateful Dead song.
There are precious few opinions that I draw the line at and openly criticize.
If you think it's okay to answer a phone call in the theater while a movie is playing,
you're just flat out wrong. If you order a steak well done and slathered in ketchup,
I can't abide by you. And if you think this is a good film,
(11:39):
regular listeners to this show will know I'm very good at finding positives about even the worst
films. I can give some credit, even when overall the movie is putrid. I literally cannot find a
positive thing to say about this film. So often when I watch a sequel, the word unnecessary comes
to mind. Most recently when I watched gladiator 2. With this sequel, yeah, unnecessary, but also
(11:59):
an affront and tarnishing the legend of the original come to mind. But don't just take my
word. Now I can't find a single professional critic who reviewed this film. So the critical
reception segment I usually do for shelf criticism is a no go. But get this, while it doesn't have a
tomatometer tomato meter on rotten tomato, meaning no professional reviews, it does have a popcorn
(12:20):
meter, which is what rotten tomatoes calls its user reviews. That score is generally far too
generous, reinforcing my deeply held belief that the general population are Philistines and
everything Matthew Arnold said in culture and anarchy is right. It's okay to say that. None of
the Philistines are going to know who Matthew Arnold is anyway. But back to this popcorn meter
voted on by viewers. Let's just put it this way. They gave grownups 62%. They gave this film 13%.
(12:45):
It has a 2.7 out of 10 on IMDb. This film is Philistine proof. I'm just going to go down the
line of the titles and reviews of IMDb. We have hall of shame, four exclamation points. If I could
choose zero stars, I would have me too friend. Me too. This movie makes you ashamed of the human
race. I agree. Kill me. Bit much, but I get your exasperation at least. You have to be dumber than
(13:10):
a monkey to like this one. I get the reference, but don't be rude to monkeys. They're smart enough
not to like this either. And then my personal favorite, one word, vomitous. You know, I thought
to myself, vomitous, wouldn't that just be nauseating? But I looked at Webster's and even
though it's almost never used, vomitous is actually a word. And I do think vomitous has so much more
(13:31):
connotation to it. So there's no better description than this. Vomitous. It's a shame that's already
claimed because moving into my take, that single word probably would have summed it up. But let me
take a little time to lay this out for you. So we began with Catherine and Eddie's son walking home
from school with a girl he's crushing on. Unlike the rest of the Johnsons, by the way, that's the
(13:51):
Eddie's surname. I didn't even think I knew that. This kid is actually smart, studious, at least
moderately cultured, which means he's ashamed of the rest of his horde. We also find out his name
is Clark Griswold Johnson III, but they just call him third. For the record, this is the point in the
film, I don't think yet a minute in, that I started reevaluating all my life's choices. I get it, you
(14:13):
want to nod to the actual franchise, but that's not the way naming works. And even if we let that
slide, why not call him Trey or Tripp as in short for triple? I know they wanted to make it as absurd
as possible, but I give up. I give up. This is the point where I should have stopped watching, but
life choices, right? Minor poor. So third tries to make his dad sound better than he is, saying he
(14:35):
works in a nuclear something or another. But we cut to Eddie at work and he's wearing some kind of
weird contraption on his head playing tic-tac-toe with a chimpanzee. And of course the chimp wins.
Apparently Eddie's working as a human test subject and they've been injecting him with some sort of
nuclear concoction. I don't know. All we know is that their budget is being cut and they're firing
Eddie because the ape is smarter. There's no point in summarizing the whole film. I'll just make it
(14:57):
quick. Eddie goes home. It's not to his home, by the way, but Audrey's. They lost their RV to the
bank. Remember the RV from Christmas vacation. Third is so disappointed in his father, yet again,
a lost job. After some shenanigans that are about as funny as stepping barefoot on a Lego block,
Eddie decides to go and ask for his job back, which is where he gets bitten on the butt by said chimp.
(15:17):
He never thinks of suing because that would require brains, but fearful that he will, the company
gives him an all-expense paid vacation to the South Pacific, which he gleefully accepts.
Audrey returns, having broken up with a man she was in love with because he was married.
She cries and, for plot reasons, she gets invited on the vacation too. Then Ed Asner, Uncle Nick,
shows up. Uncle Nick, get it? Nick. Like Saint Nick. He shows up because his wife ran off with her
(15:42):
masseuse or something. I don't even know. I don't remember what the guy was to her, but he was a
younger man anyway. His wife left him for her. And that's all you need to know. I could go back and
re-watch all that to be accurate, but that would mean I have to re-watch it. And I don't know what
I did to deserve the karma of having to see this the first time, but I dang sure haven't been so
bad that I'm going to be punished by watching it twice. Anyhow, Uncle Nick is also going with him
(16:03):
because apparently Eddie can just bring however many people he wants along on this vacation,
including folks like Ed Asner, who's just there because some people might remember Lou Grant and
watch long enough to see an ad or two. Oh, and they bring Snot along, of course, but they've
drugged him to keep him calm, though all that means is he farts a lot. And I've said this before,
as a matter of fact, a couple episodes ago with Elf, I love scatological humor if it's done well,
(16:25):
but you can't just pull a fart joke out of your butt, I guess. You have to set it up,
like Chaucer or Shakespeare does on Masterfly. Throughout this entire film, it's just dog farts
a lot and it stinks. We get to this nondescript South Pacific island, apparently that doesn't
matter. We're greeted by pretty women who kiss the men's cheeks, the men likey likey and want
more kisses, especially pervy Uncle Nick. You know, just because your wife ran off with a younger man,
(16:49):
that doesn't mean you can sexually harass the staff. Oh, Snot farts a few times. Lee's character
is named Mukalaka Mickey, she appears, and she's an employee of the nuclear research facility who's
paid to make sure Eddie and his crew are cared for, and of course, by default won't sue. We all know
she's really there because she's pretty and will be scantily clad. Oh, and also her name isn't
American, so we got jokes. It sort of sounds like Mele Kalikimaka. And this is a Christmas movie,
(17:14):
get it? He he. Also, we find out that she knows Jack about these islands because she's actually
from Milwaukee, which sounds like you get the point. That's all I could do at this moment not
to smash my television screen. Honestly, I might have been happier if I had Snot farts. You know,
what would have made this film better if they decided to spend more than $10 on the budget?
(17:35):
I don't know what it would cost to get Ed Asner, Eric Idle, or Dana Baron at this time,
but I can't help but think if they had maybe shot on location, not even South Pacific, just a beach.
I mean, it's in LA, right? It would have made the film a little bit better. It's so clearly the
film's back lot, artificially filled with sand and fake palms. And what isn't that is clearly
(17:55):
green screen work. And even by 2003 standards, it's less than impressive. Or in the case of
Eddie's reeling in a shark and the boat being pulled back and forth by it, it's just, it's
disgusting. I think you see how this goes. They wreck, they go into an uncharted aisle, Gilligan style,
only to realize it's close to Christmas. The crew consisting of Eddie, Catherine, Third, Audrey,
Uncle Nick, and Milwaukee, Maylee, Licka, Kamaki, let's make fun of a person of color's name, Lee,
(18:20):
rather than have a meltdown at being stranded, decided to make the best of Christmas being
stranded on an island. Seeing a chance to maybe redeem himself, cousin Eddie vows to do the
impossible. Kill a boar for Christmas dinner, build Catherine the house he was never able to give her,
and prove to Third he isn't just as useless as everyone thinks. Snort peas on some stuff, then
surprise, he farts. Eddie accidentally falls down with his spear on a boar. If you know how notoriously
(18:45):
hard boar are to kill, by the way, that's so ridiculous. And this is why both Uncle Nick and
Third, who's way too young to be doing so, both spy on Malekka Koshkaliki Makka Shamalama Ding Dong
while she's casually bathing in the lagoon, you know, because spying on women when they're naked
is funny and not at all stalker behavior that's illegal. Just in case you didn't know that's
sarcasm. Snort farts. Opinions, my opinions on this film. Speaking of snort farting, it's more
(19:11):
rancid than a snort fart. Standout performance. I mean, snot was cute. Little Rottweiler, right?
Jake Thomas, who was barely more than a zygote in this film, and by that I mean 13 years old,
he clearly misunderstood the assignment. You can tell he's trying earnestly to work with
whatever the snot fart of a script was he was given. Everyone else, it seems, understood they
(19:32):
were there to earn a paycheck and nothing else. Literally no one is trying except Jake Thomas.
So I guess for that earnestness, we'll give it to him. Next segment, trivia. This is the worst film
ever made. Whatever studio execs greenlit this, whoever thought it would at least draw some
eyeballs, nearly anyone and everyone who is the reason this abomination exists needs to hang their
(19:53):
head in shame. Pandora has been redeemed. Those responsible for releasing this into the world have
done more harm than she did. And I am so serious. Y'all know I don't give into hyperbole that often,
but if I had to choose between watching this now or I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry again,
well I would probably gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon. But if I had no choice, then I would
say bring on Adam Sandler and Kevin James, both of whom are less funny than passing a kidney stone.
(20:17):
I realize my last episode ran very long. I think the longest episode aside from Mulholland Drive,
which, you know, took a little while to get into just because I love gremlins. I enjoy talking
about that one. This may be the shortest and I'm okay with that too. Shelf esteem. Now again,
I don't have this on DVD, so it cannot actually physically exist on a shelf. But I don't know if
you know this or not. I don't literally put the DVDs on the shelf where I rank them either. It's
(20:41):
honestly just another way of saying one through five stars, but trying to be clever on my part.
And again, sarcasm. I'm sorry this film just has got me in a really cranky mood. Either way, the way
it works if you don't know is five shelves on the curio cabinet. So we use the bartender's model
top shelf for the best stuff. Bottom shelf for the rot gut, second shelf, mid shelf, fourth shelf.
(21:02):
If I did own this on DVD, I would douse it in holy water and bury it on hallowed ground. Even then,
it would probably come back to haunt me. Thankfully, I don't. That said, the metaphorical DVD and the
metaphorical shelf, I don't know that I can put on bottom shelf. The cellar. Just, I don't know.
Crush it under the the wheel of a giant dump truck. Just anything. Get this thing away from me. I never
(21:25):
want to think about this again. That's it. I'm done. No more. However, the show's not done. Those of
you who started listening to season two know that I brought in a new segment, Shelfless Endeavors.
So basically, I've decided I'm going to, with renewed vigor, go back and actually physically
visit the movie theaters as if my, you know, $10, $12 here and there are going to keep them in
(21:46):
business. However, I think we should support them, right? And as I mentioned before, sometimes it's
just not feasible to buy a DVD. So I do have a lot on streaming. Essentially what I'm doing with
Shelfless Endeavors, aside from yet again making a terrible pun, is I'm looking at films that are
either playing in the theater or streaming or in some way creating buzz. And basically, I'm just
(22:06):
giving a snap review to that. I'm not getting into any real depth. This is not like diving in and
talking about critical reception and stuff. Just, you know, my thoughts and whether or not I think
you should see them. So this will be a lengthy segment because I've actually got a few films
here that I've got to talk about. We'll start with the first one. Anais in Love. So there's a funny
thing about this one. A week or so ago, I was browsing titles on Fandango at home and I saw
(22:29):
this one. The first sentence of the description read, and it still reads, I'll go back and check,
make sure I didn't dream it. Now in theaters. It's not uncommon for films to have a concurrent
theatrical streaming release, so I assume that was correct. And as much as I love my town,
we have 12 screens. So a foreign language film is probably never going to play here.
It seemed ridiculously cheap for a dual release, so I bought it. Well, it turns out it premiered in
(22:52):
the United States in May of 2022. My guess is no one ever bothered to go back and update the synopsis.
Heck, it's playing on Hulu right now. I could have watched it for free, but since I watched it,
I figured I would do a review because a lot of you probably haven't seen it. Watch it. It's fantastic.
Anais is a 30 year old who can only be described as a human whirlwind, but a charming one. She's
(23:13):
quirky. For instance, so claustrophobic she can't be in an elevator. She's scatterbrained,
but she's utterly charming. She meets a man named Danielle at a party who's nearly old enough to be
her father. And then she cheats on her boyfriend with him. Danielle, by the way, is also having
an affair. He has a partner. They're not married, but a partner by the name of Emily, who is an
author. They've been together for eight years. When the affair goes south, Anais, who at one
(23:37):
point was enchanted by a photo on the wall of the couple's house, which was a close-up of Emily,
her back to the camera face barely visible in profile as her flaxen hair is windblown.
She picks up one of the woman's novels and is immediately enamored. She travels to a conference
that Emily is also attending and begins to fall for her. In other words, this is about the most
French plot the French ever Frenched, but it works well. Ana is a bit flighty and breezy and yeah,
(24:01):
she cheats on her boyfriend, yet somehow you just can't help but love her. So the actress is named
Anais de Mustier. Again, apologies to you French listeners. I know. I know I'm bad at this. But yes,
by the way, Anais in Love is played by a woman named Anais, which is really interesting because
the writer-director Charlene Bourgeois-Taquette has said she wrote the play specifically for her,
(24:22):
so I assume it's no coincidence. But nonetheless, de Mustier is brilliant in her performance.
I hate the overuse of the phrase tour de force, but being a French film, I think it's appropriate
here. She channels Audrey Tateau in her most charming. In fact, the film does have shades of
Amelie, though nowhere near as off the wall. It's almost like Bourgeois-Taquette is channeling one
(24:43):
half Jean-Pierre Genoux and one half Godard. There's seriously some Godard vibes here too.
The handheld camera is a staple. In one of the early scenes, Anais is frantically running around
her cramped Paris apartment where her landlady is also standing, and all the while the camera
moves and spins, and most of it's in a single take. It's so masterfully done. It captures the
(25:03):
frenetic nature of both the scene and also the kinetic personality of the protagonist.
The cuts and transitions are lack thereof, also remind me of Godard. And not for nothing,
there are plenty of moments where the characters look directly into the camera and speak as if
gabbing with the audience. It may just be that I have a predilection for French cinema, but I
adored everything about this film. It was lighthearted and airy while it still dealt with
(25:25):
themes like infidelity, unwanted pregnancy, and cancer relapsing, and all of it was juggled
quite masterfully. If nothing else, there's a scene where Amelie is dancing to Kim Karn's
Betty Davis eyes and she invites Anais to join her. It is perhaps the sexiest scene I've seen in half
a decade. They barely look at each other, but the looks on their faces, it's just pure joy.
(25:47):
Their bodies move in a tandem. It's this sensuous display of attraction. It's so simple, but it's
so effective. See the film for that scene, if nothing else, but I think you'll enjoy the whole
shebang. One film that is currently streaming and playing in cinemas is Anora, and I'd been
hearing so much about that film that when it was available to stream, I bought it almost immediately.
I knew the basic plot. An American woman of lower status and shall we just say questionable
(26:12):
employee marries the son of a Russian oligarch. All right, she's a stripper and a prostitute.
Obviously not thrilled, the family seeks to get the marriage annulled. I'd heard that and I'd
heard that Mikey Madison was serious Oscar bait for this one. I don't actually want to say too
much here because I think I might want to do another Beside My Shelf episode about it. I mean,
it's so good and I have many thoughts. Let me just say this for now, watch it and watch it immediately.
(26:36):
If Madison does not take home the Oscar, I may just fly to LA and pick it outside the academy.
Oh, and I thought the film was just going to be a straight up drama. There are dramatic moments,
yes, but it is more screwball comedy than anything else and it's done perfectly.
Matter of fact, I didn't really look, but I found out Sean Baker was behind this.
And if I had known this, I might have been prepared for the tonal tightrope he loves to walk.
(26:59):
Fans of Red Rocket or the Florida Project will feel right at home, but this one I think takes
that screwball sensibility to new heights. Be prepared to hold your sides with laughter,
but also be forewarned. There are going to be a couple of moments where those aren't tears of
laughter running down your face. I mean, it's got some real emotional punch. And then finally,
this morning, yes, I went to the theater at 11 a.m. It's Christmas break, man. I did go to the
(27:25):
theater and I saw Baby Girl. Again, I tried to know as little about it as I could. That's something
new I'm trying. You know, just walk in as blind as humanly possible. You know, you're going to see
trailers here and there. You may read something in the trades, but a lot of times I just like
watch a snippet of it and then I just tune it out to try to come in with, you know, knowing the least
that I can. I knew Nicole Kidman was in it and I knew her character was having an affair with an
(27:47):
intern and that it was a little saucy. That's about it. Well, I will tell you, yeah, it's certainly
erotic. A film like this has to walk a line, potentially being too prurient, maybe too
sensational or sometimes possibly farcical. Baby Girl walks that line wonderfully. There are moments
that make you think we're about to rehash an albeit gender swapped fatal attraction. It doesn't.
(28:11):
It's much more concerned about character and depth than it is cliche. You feel sympathy for Jacob,
Antonio Banderas' character, the husband who's having horns put on his head, but you also feel
that for Romy Kidman, who's placing those said horns, and also for Samuel, played by Harris Dickinson,
whose smarminess and vulnerability vacillates not just through the film, but even within scenes
(28:35):
sometimes. And it does so in a way that's believable. It feels earned. It's not uneven
characterization. The film is gorgeously shot. It's at Christmas time. We won't get into the whole
diehard debate with this one, but that means there are lights always in the background.
The wardrobe choices pop on the screen, and there are certain scenes that also were really visually
captivating. There's one where they go to a rave and you have the strobing lights everywhere and
(28:59):
packed full of people. It's so well done. And while it's spicy, it's tastefully done as well.
Now, it's not a film you're going to want to watch with, say, your grandparents, but it doesn't belong
on Cinemax After Dark circa 1992 either. There's some deeply intimate scenes, but Helene Erasian,
I think I'm saying that wrong. I apologize. The Dutch writer-director takes a less is more approach,
(29:22):
which honestly makes it even hotter. Often she'll pull in for these extreme close-ups of the couples
and she keeps the camera moving, teasing the frame to mostly hide, but sometimes reveal whatever
we're supposed to be seeing. You couple that with a perfectly catered soundtrack and you've got some
lightning in a bottle. Seriously, I'll never listen to in excesses, never tear us apart the same way
(29:42):
again. And George Michael's father figure, well, it was already creepy and cringe, but it made me
remember just how creepy and cringe, particularly in context. It's Kidman's film and the 57-year-old
actress plays to all her strengths and vulnerabilities. She can love her husband truly
while also being exasperated by her lack of sexual fulfillment. She can be an assertive,
(30:05):
downright aggressive CEO who desires nothing more than to fall to her obsequious knees behind closed
doors. It's a part that requires raw emotion, tapping into moments that are familiar to all of
us, but also intensely private. And she's displaying it on the big screen. The word fearless comes to
mind. Matter of fact, I do feel a little sorry for Kidman because this is an Oscar-worthy portrayal,
(30:27):
but don't come for Mikey Madison, not this year. This is her year, Ms. Kidman. You've had your
hours in the spotlight. See what I did there? At any rate, I went into this film expecting it to be
decent. I did not think I would walk out reconsidering my top five of 2024 list, but here we are.
Speaking of top five lists, Shelf Christmasesm is over, thank goodness, and very soon we'll be
(30:49):
getting back to business as usual. That said, we wave goodbye to 2024 and welcome in the quarter
century mark. So next week, there's going to be another Beside My Shelf bonus episode. I'll review
the year, talking about the films that surprised me most, disappointed me most, the best films I've
watched for the podcast, so on and so forth. We'll highlight some truly standout performances of
(31:09):
2024, and I'll try not to gush too much over Mikey Madison, maybe even ask WTF for some other
performances, and we'll end it all with my top five of the year. Now, sadly, I can't watch them all,
but I'll have seen many more films in the average bloke this year, I will say. Oh, and that's not
counting that before New Year's Eve, I'll have also watched Nosferatu and A Complete Unknown and
check those two off the list. Also in this episode, as eloquent as I may sound on this
(31:32):
podcast, and both Mackenzie and I would sound on Real It, we do occasionally get a little tongue
tied, and I've been sitting on some of those outtakes for a while. So what better place to
laugh at ourselves than on a year end wrap? So before you watch the ball drop, be prepared to
slap on the headphones and take a walk down memory lane with the Owls of Palace. Season two of Shelf
Criticism is also just getting started. I would love to tell you what the next film is, but I'm
(31:54):
still kind of racking my brain on that one. I don't know. We'll see. Something in my wheelhouse,
but I can tell you on Real It, for January Mackenzie and I are going to be reading the book
by Jean Rees and the two films, one from the 90s and one from the 2010s, the adaptations of Wide
Sargasso Sea. So you might want to break out your Jane Eyre and read that and then get into Jean
(32:15):
Rees. If you know, you know, if not, listen to the podcast and the Owls of Parliament, all three of
us, producer Reagan included, are planning on coming back together sometime very soon. We're
about to have a watch party and do another episode for Midnight Movie. This time, I'm not looking
forward to it. They kind of are, but I lived through the 90s. We're looking at the 1991 film
(32:35):
Cool as Ice. If you didn't know, Mr. Ice Ice Baby himself also made a film and it may be actually
worse than the album he put out. So as we look back on this year, think about what was the good,
the bad, the ups, the downs, we can smile and we can also look forward to 2025. We can look
to 2025 because there's so much more from Shelf Criticism, from Real Lit and from the Owls of
(32:59):
Palace coming up. If you want to talk about any of that, make suggestions, send me an email.
That's steven at shelfcriticism.com and my name is S-T-E-P-H-E-N. You can also find us on social
media at Shelf Criticism. And the same is also true for my other podcast where I'm joined by the
Indomitable McKenzie. You can find us on social media as well, Real Lit podcast. You can email us
(33:22):
Real Lit at Real Lit podcast. And remember that's R-E-E-L like a film reel. So looking forward to
all of that and getting ready to ring in the new year. Let me just say, remember DVD Enficiados
to treat yourself to a little Shelf Criticism of your own. Amelia, sing us home.
(33:43):
Shelf Criticism is an Owls of Palace production. This podcast is in no way connected with the
educational institutions the host is employed by. The opinions expressed herein are solely those of
the host and do not necessarily reflect the views of any other organization with which he is
affiliated. Most images displayed are public domain. Images and stills from films, descriptions of
(34:04):
scenes and passages from books are used for educational and critical purposes and not for
profit and therefore fall under the terms of fair use.
Snot peas on some stuff then surprise he farts.
Welcome to Shelf Criticism, where Stephen, your ever curious guide to the cinematic universe,
(00:16):
usually dives into the treasures and occasional trash of his sprawling DVD collection. But
today we're venturing beyond the confines of the Curio cabinet. That's right, it's
time for a special bonus episode of Beside My Shelf, where we leave the comfort of physical
media behind to examine a film that's not on the shelf. But maybe it should be, or maybe
(00:38):
it shouldn't. Either way, it's going under the microscope. As a literature and film scholar,
Stephen knows how to read between the lines of even the most chaotic screenplay, and his
love of cinema runs deep, from arthouse masterpieces to campy B-movie delights. So whether you're here
(00:58):
for analysis, a laugh, or just a fresh perspective on films you might not expect to hear about,
grab your favourite snack, settle in, and join us as we take this detour Beside My Shelf. It's
going to be a real adventure. Welcome to everyone. Some of you are still reeling from a holiday
(01:31):
hangover. Some literally, some figuratively. Others of you are sad to see it go. And there
are some of you who just wanted to crawl back into its cave and not rear its head again. Well,
not until department stores start rolling out merchandise in September so you can begin your
yearly tradition of griping about how early they start. I do hope all of you who celebrated
had a good time, and for those of you who didn't, I hope the Chinese food was good. I certainly had
(01:55):
an interesting time with Shelf Christmasism. It was lovely to go back and revisit Gremlins,
a film I have fond memories of. The Holiday was not my favourite film. And after going 21 years
somehow miraculously avoiding seeing Elf, I finally gave it a viewing, and rage hated it.
I know it's a beloved film to some of you, so my apologies if you're one of those. Let's just
(02:17):
nicely agree to disagree. However, in researching Elf, I came across an interesting tidbit,
something I was completely unaware of. Of the holiday films I do enjoy, Christmas Vacation
ranks high. My late wife and I used to watch it and die hard every Christmas without fail.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered there was a made-for-TV sequel from 2003,
the same year as Elf, Christmas Vacation 2, Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure. Incidentally,
(02:40):
I realized on the last podcast I said Uncle Eddie's Island Adventure, and he is an uncle to Audrey and
Russ, but it's Cousin Eddie. Partially though, because I'm a completist, and partially because
I like to torture myself with bad films, I found it on Amazon Prime and immediately purchased it.
Upon watching it, let's just say I had feelings. Feelings that I want to talk about. But I didn't
(03:02):
buy a DVD copy, though a peek at eBay tells me at some point it did get a DVD release. Instead,
I opted for streaming, thus it doesn't sit on my shelf. And it got me thinking, between Prime and
Fandango at home, used to be Voodoo, I have a pretty massive collection of films that I've
accumulated from streaming. Now a lot of those are digital copies included upon purchasing a DVD,
sure. But I've also been known to scroll around the service and grab something that was on sale.
(03:26):
There were times when I had the notion to watch something that was available only on a subscription
service. I've been known just to make a purchase. I never rent those because, I don't know, I just
figure if I like it, I might want to watch it again. And usually it's not that much more expensive
just to go ahead and own it. Plus, I guess I just like to waste money sometimes. So I came up with
this idea for bonus episodes every now and again. And in doing so, of course, I'm leaving the door
(03:47):
open for potentially more of them. And I'm simply going to call this beside my shelf, because I'm
going to run that shelf self-hunt as far as I can into the ground. Even though Christmas is over,
we still have the holidays. New Year's Day, Twelfth Night, Epiphany. Besides, Christmas Vacation 2 is
so bad, it would turn Buddy the Elf into the Grinch. Last episode I talked about that speech
(04:08):
Kate gives in Gremlins, how she hates Christmas because her father dressed as Santa to surprise
her and got stuck in the chimney and died. Well, this film is so bad, it has even more potential
to make a person hate Christmas. The newly reformed Grinch's heart would shrink four sizes after
watching this terrible film. After Scrooge's change of heart, if he were to turn on the boob
tube and see this, he would run right back over to the Cratchits and punch Tiny Tim in the face.
(04:31):
I knew it wasn't going to be any good, but come on, how bad could it be? Cousin Eddie's antics
in the vacation films are always hilarious. Snot, the pure Mississippi leg hound, is back.
Ed Esner did double duty in 03 of Christmas films, doing both Elf and this one. Lee Sung Hai is in it,
and I totally do not know her from a few spreads in a certain gentleman's magazine back in the 90s.
Definitely not ones hidden behind my bookcase where no one ever looked. This thing had the
(04:54):
potential to actually work, and it seemed like a decent enough idea, but so did the Rolling Stones
putting on a free concert at Altamont in 1969. For starters, unlike Vegas Vacation and that flat
vacation remake with Ed Helms and Christina Applegate, this one had National Lampoon's
production behind it. National Lampoon, of course, started out as a spinoff from the Harvard Lampoon,
(05:14):
a humor publication from that university. The rag had already expanded to radio, theater,
and albums before they went to film. Beginning with Animal House, the production released a spade of
films, varying qualities, but ones that would shape the American comedic landscape for generations
to come. Having those two words in front of the title doesn't guarantee success. As a matter of
fact, most of the output from the production company is actually pretty bad. Loaded Weapon 1,
(05:36):
anybody? Still, there are some solid entries in the catalog as well, such as the aforementioned
Animal House and of course Van Wilder. The first vacation was based on the short story, Vacation
58, written by John Hughes. And yes, that John Hughes. 16 candles. The only called Dad by the
narrator of the short story. The film gave us the high strung family man, Clark Griswold. It was a
runaway success in 1983, spawning the sequel European Vacation two years later. 1989 saw the
(06:01):
third film, Christmas Vacation. Hughes wrote the first and third, co-writing European Vacation with
Robert Klain and also getting a story credit. Vegas Vacation and the 2015 remake were notably
divested of the National Lampoon's label. And let's face it, neither were really all that good.
So National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2 was at least potentially a good start. Hughes didn't pin
(06:21):
this one, but Maddy Simmons did. He's perhaps not as well known a name as John Hughes, but Simmons
was the publisher of the aforementioned magazine, National Lampoon's from 1970 to 1989. And he had
also produced Animal House and all the vacations except for the reboot. He was executive producer
of the Christmas sequel as well. Nick Mark was brought into direct. Mostly a television director,
he'd worked on several well-known shows, including seven of the episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
(06:45):
Among them were Something Blue, one of the funniest in a show known for its wit and humor,
Conversations with Dead People, which is an absolute masterpiece, and Fans of the Show are
going to immediately squeal when they hear this, Fool for Love, which is generally considered at
least in the top 15 episodes of a highly critically acclaimed show that incidentally gave us 144 total
episodes. So, so far so good, right? And then on June 18th, 2003, Variety reported that Ed Asner,
(07:11):
Fred Willard, and Jake Thomas were signed onto the project. And incidentally, this is the only piece
of media I can find about this film. No reviews, nothing else from the trades, just this exists,
at least from what I've been able to dig up. Still, Ed Asner is a beloved comedic actor,
as is Fred Willard, and apparently Thomas was best known for Lizzie McGuire. I know nothing about him
(07:31):
or that show because I was in my 20s, I think, when it was playing and I had zero interest in it.
We also get Randy Quaid, duh, as cousin Eddie, who let's face it is probably the best part of
Christmas Vacation. And there are some great parts all around. Miriam Flynn, playing Catherine,
his long-suffering wife, is also returning. In perhaps the most interesting bit of casting,
Dana Berry reprises her role in the original Vacation of Audrey. It was tradition in the
(07:53):
Vacation film for the Griswold children, Audrey and Russ, to be played by different actors each
time. In fact, Baron is the only one to play one twice. Now, it does seem a bit strange since,
if the film is supposed to be a direct sequel to Christmas Vacation, even if it was 14 years later,
it seems as though Juliette Lewis would reprise the role. Likely they were unable to get her,
as she was a recognizable star. She had roles in Cape Fear, Strange Day, National Born Killers
(08:17):
after that, which had likely enhanced her star power. Baron, on the other hand, had worked mostly
on television and made for TV movies, and at least there was another actor with ties to the
franchise on board. The supporting cast is rounded out only by two other actors that might ring a
bell to some. I mentioned Lee Sung-Hai, a South Korean actor, mostly known for her B movies and
TV appearances, and of course, as mentioned before, a host of Playboy pictorials in the 1990s.
(08:41):
And if you get the sneaking suspicion she's only there to provide eye candy, well, tell your buddy
Sus to stop sneaking and strut proudly. You figured it out. And then there's Eric Idle. Yes,
Monty Python alum Eric freaking Idle, one of the funniest human beings on the planet. And of course,
that's also a callback to European Vacation, where he also makes a small cameo. Okay, so we're good,
right? It's got to be a good film. Now, never mind the red flags. They were there, beginning with the
(09:03):
made for TV label. Not that there haven't been some good films to come through this medium,
though I dare say most, say like Roots, North and South, they immediately come to mind,
are actually miniseries as opposed to movies. Last season, I tackled a couple of made for Canadian
television films, and I can personally attest that neither of them were a rewarding watch.
Vegas Vacation had flopped in 97, and with good reason. That's not to say a theatrical release of
(09:27):
Christmas Vacation 2 might not have drawn in a crowd. Holiday films tend to have a built-in
audience, and by this time, the original was a beloved favorite. But there is Red Flag number
two, right? No Chevy Chase, no Beverly D'Angelo. Can you really have a vacation film without Clark
and Ellen? It's almost like if we aren't going to go for a theatrical release with all the cast,
we probably don't have a good plan. Maybe just a cobbled together sloppy production that is nothing
(09:50):
but a cynical cash grab. There's that suspicion fella sleuthing around on tiptoe again. Focusing
on Cousin Eddie feels more like an Extended Universe kind of thing, and we're still five
years away from Iron Man at this point. But back to my earlier question, how bad can it be? Perhaps
it could be one of those so bad it's good films that I tend to enjoy. Manos, The Hand of Fate,
Howard the Duck, Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. No, it's just one of those films
(10:14):
that's plain bad, full stop. I'm seriously racking my brain over here trying to think of something
I've seen that is worse. Troll 2, Bio Dome, Glitter, Jiggly, all those films like the freaking
Godfather in comparison. Movie 43 may still have the claim to worst ever, or maybe not. I don't
know. At least I chuckled once or twice during that one, I think. Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure did
(10:36):
not elicit a single laugh from me. Heck, at least I laughed a couple of times when someone got hurt
in Elf. No, this film is as stupid as it is humorless. The threadbare plot feels more like
a bunch of cobbled together skits, none of which are funny, with no real focus or direction.
The only thing that got me through it was, first, my unadulterated spite, and when even that wasn't
(10:57):
enough, my sheer stubbornness as I was determined to outlast the tedium, an insult to not just
National Lampoon, but to the entire art of filmmaking. You know that mantra I have that
I'm always spewing? No such thing as a guilty pleasure. If you like it, own it, love it, be happy,
don't feel guilty about it. I try not to judge anyone over anything, out loud anyway. I silently
(11:18):
judge people all the time. What? I'm not St. Stephen over here. That's a Grateful Dead song.
There are precious few opinions that I draw the line at and openly criticize.
If you think it's okay to answer a phone call in the theater while a movie is playing,
you're just flat out wrong. If you order a steak well done and slathered in ketchup,
I can't abide by you. And if you think this is a good film,
(11:39):
regular listeners to this show will know I'm very good at finding positives about even the worst
films. I can give some credit, even when overall the movie is putrid. I literally cannot find a
positive thing to say about this film. So often when I watch a sequel, the word unnecessary comes
to mind. Most recently when I watched gladiator 2. With this sequel, yeah, unnecessary, but also
(11:59):
an affront and tarnishing the legend of the original come to mind. But don't just take my
word. Now I can't find a single professional critic who reviewed this film. So the critical
reception segment I usually do for shelf criticism is a no go. But get this, while it doesn't have a
tomatometer tomato meter on rotten tomato, meaning no professional reviews, it does have a popcorn
(12:20):
meter, which is what rotten tomatoes calls its user reviews. That score is generally far too
generous, reinforcing my deeply held belief that the general population are Philistines and
everything Matthew Arnold said in culture and anarchy is right. It's okay to say that. None of
the Philistines are going to know who Matthew Arnold is anyway. But back to this popcorn meter
voted on by viewers. Let's just put it this way. They gave grownups 62%. They gave this film 13%.
(12:45):
It has a 2.7 out of 10 on IMDb. This film is Philistine proof. I'm just going to go down the
line of the titles and reviews of IMDb. We have hall of shame, four exclamation points. If I could
choose zero stars, I would have me too friend. Me too. This movie makes you ashamed of the human
race. I agree. Kill me. Bit much, but I get your exasperation at least. You have to be dumber than
(13:10):
a monkey to like this one. I get the reference, but don't be rude to monkeys. They're smart enough
not to like this either. And then my personal favorite, one word, vomitous. You know, I thought
to myself, vomitous, wouldn't that just be nauseating? But I looked at Webster's and even
though it's almost never used, vomitous is actually a word. And I do think vomitous has so much more
(13:31):
connotation to it. So there's no better description than this. Vomitous. It's a shame that's already
claimed because moving into my take, that single word probably would have summed it up. But let me
take a little time to lay this out for you. So we began with Catherine and Eddie's son walking home
from school with a girl he's crushing on. Unlike the rest of the Johnsons, by the way, that's the
(13:51):
Eddie's surname. I didn't even think I knew that. This kid is actually smart, studious, at least
moderately cultured, which means he's ashamed of the rest of his horde. We also find out his name
is Clark Griswold Johnson III, but they just call him third. For the record, this is the point in the
film, I don't think yet a minute in, that I started reevaluating all my life's choices. I get it, you
(14:13):
want to nod to the actual franchise, but that's not the way naming works. And even if we let that
slide, why not call him Trey or Tripp as in short for triple? I know they wanted to make it as absurd
as possible, but I give up. I give up. This is the point where I should have stopped watching, but
life choices, right? Minor poor. So third tries to make his dad sound better than he is, saying he
(14:35):
works in a nuclear something or another. But we cut to Eddie at work and he's wearing some kind of
weird contraption on his head playing tic-tac-toe with a chimpanzee. And of course the chimp wins.
Apparently Eddie's working as a human test subject and they've been injecting him with some sort of
nuclear concoction. I don't know. All we know is that their budget is being cut and they're firing
Eddie because the ape is smarter. There's no point in summarizing the whole film. I'll just make it
(14:57):
quick. Eddie goes home. It's not to his home, by the way, but Audrey's. They lost their RV to the
bank. Remember the RV from Christmas vacation. Third is so disappointed in his father, yet again,
a lost job. After some shenanigans that are about as funny as stepping barefoot on a Lego block,
Eddie decides to go and ask for his job back, which is where he gets bitten on the butt by said chimp.
(15:17):
He never thinks of suing because that would require brains, but fearful that he will, the company
gives him an all-expense paid vacation to the South Pacific, which he gleefully accepts.
Audrey returns, having broken up with a man she was in love with because he was married.
She cries and, for plot reasons, she gets invited on the vacation too. Then Ed Asner, Uncle Nick,
shows up. Uncle Nick, get it? Nick. Like Saint Nick. He shows up because his wife ran off with her
(15:42):
masseuse or something. I don't even know. I don't remember what the guy was to her, but he was a
younger man anyway. His wife left him for her. And that's all you need to know. I could go back and
re-watch all that to be accurate, but that would mean I have to re-watch it. And I don't know what
I did to deserve the karma of having to see this the first time, but I dang sure haven't been so
bad that I'm going to be punished by watching it twice. Anyhow, Uncle Nick is also going with him
(16:03):
because apparently Eddie can just bring however many people he wants along on this vacation,
including folks like Ed Asner, who's just there because some people might remember Lou Grant and
watch long enough to see an ad or two. Oh, and they bring Snot along, of course, but they've
drugged him to keep him calm, though all that means is he farts a lot. And I've said this before,
as a matter of fact, a couple episodes ago with Elf, I love scatological humor if it's done well,
(16:25):
but you can't just pull a fart joke out of your butt, I guess. You have to set it up,
like Chaucer or Shakespeare does on Masterfly. Throughout this entire film, it's just dog farts
a lot and it stinks. We get to this nondescript South Pacific island, apparently that doesn't
matter. We're greeted by pretty women who kiss the men's cheeks, the men likey likey and want
more kisses, especially pervy Uncle Nick. You know, just because your wife ran off with a younger man,
(16:49):
that doesn't mean you can sexually harass the staff. Oh, Snot farts a few times. Lee's character
is named Mukalaka Mickey, she appears, and she's an employee of the nuclear research facility who's
paid to make sure Eddie and his crew are cared for, and of course, by default won't sue. We all know
she's really there because she's pretty and will be scantily clad. Oh, and also her name isn't
American, so we got jokes. It sort of sounds like Mele Kalikimaka. And this is a Christmas movie,
(17:14):
get it? He he. Also, we find out that she knows Jack about these islands because she's actually
from Milwaukee, which sounds like you get the point. That's all I could do at this moment not
to smash my television screen. Honestly, I might have been happier if I had Snot farts. You know,
what would have made this film better if they decided to spend more than $10 on the budget?
(17:35):
I don't know what it would cost to get Ed Asner, Eric Idle, or Dana Baron at this time,
but I can't help but think if they had maybe shot on location, not even South Pacific, just a beach.
I mean, it's in LA, right? It would have made the film a little bit better. It's so clearly the
film's back lot, artificially filled with sand and fake palms. And what isn't that is clearly
(17:55):
green screen work. And even by 2003 standards, it's less than impressive. Or in the case of
Eddie's reeling in a shark and the boat being pulled back and forth by it, it's just, it's
disgusting. I think you see how this goes. They wreck, they go into an uncharted aisle, Gilligan style,
only to realize it's close to Christmas. The crew consisting of Eddie, Catherine, Third, Audrey,
Uncle Nick, and Milwaukee, Maylee, Licka, Kamaki, let's make fun of a person of color's name, Lee,
(18:20):
rather than have a meltdown at being stranded, decided to make the best of Christmas being
stranded on an island. Seeing a chance to maybe redeem himself, cousin Eddie vows to do the
impossible. Kill a boar for Christmas dinner, build Catherine the house he was never able to give her,
and prove to Third he isn't just as useless as everyone thinks. Snort peas on some stuff, then
surprise, he farts. Eddie accidentally falls down with his spear on a boar. If you know how notoriously
(18:45):
hard boar are to kill, by the way, that's so ridiculous. And this is why both Uncle Nick and
Third, who's way too young to be doing so, both spy on Malekka Koshkaliki Makka Shamalama Ding Dong
while she's casually bathing in the lagoon, you know, because spying on women when they're naked
is funny and not at all stalker behavior that's illegal. Just in case you didn't know that's
sarcasm. Snort farts. Opinions, my opinions on this film. Speaking of snort farting, it's more
(19:11):
rancid than a snort fart. Standout performance. I mean, snot was cute. Little Rottweiler, right?
Jake Thomas, who was barely more than a zygote in this film, and by that I mean 13 years old,
he clearly misunderstood the assignment. You can tell he's trying earnestly to work with
whatever the snot fart of a script was he was given. Everyone else, it seems, understood they
(19:32):
were there to earn a paycheck and nothing else. Literally no one is trying except Jake Thomas.
So I guess for that earnestness, we'll give it to him. Next segment, trivia. This is the worst film
ever made. Whatever studio execs greenlit this, whoever thought it would at least draw some
eyeballs, nearly anyone and everyone who is the reason this abomination exists needs to hang their
(19:53):
head in shame. Pandora has been redeemed. Those responsible for releasing this into the world have
done more harm than she did. And I am so serious. Y'all know I don't give into hyperbole that often,
but if I had to choose between watching this now or I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry again,
well I would probably gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon. But if I had no choice, then I would
say bring on Adam Sandler and Kevin James, both of whom are less funny than passing a kidney stone.
(20:17):
I realize my last episode ran very long. I think the longest episode aside from Mulholland Drive,
which, you know, took a little while to get into just because I love gremlins. I enjoy talking
about that one. This may be the shortest and I'm okay with that too. Shelf esteem. Now again,
I don't have this on DVD, so it cannot actually physically exist on a shelf. But I don't know if
you know this or not. I don't literally put the DVDs on the shelf where I rank them either. It's
(20:41):
honestly just another way of saying one through five stars, but trying to be clever on my part.
And again, sarcasm. I'm sorry this film just has got me in a really cranky mood. Either way, the way
it works if you don't know is five shelves on the curio cabinet. So we use the bartender's model
top shelf for the best stuff. Bottom shelf for the rot gut, second shelf, mid shelf, fourth shelf.
(21:02):
If I did own this on DVD, I would douse it in holy water and bury it on hallowed ground. Even then,
it would probably come back to haunt me. Thankfully, I don't. That said, the metaphorical DVD and the
metaphorical shelf, I don't know that I can put on bottom shelf. The cellar. Just, I don't know.
Crush it under the the wheel of a giant dump truck. Just anything. Get this thing away from me. I never
(21:25):
want to think about this again. That's it. I'm done. No more. However, the show's not done. Those of
you who started listening to season two know that I brought in a new segment, Shelfless Endeavors.
So basically, I've decided I'm going to, with renewed vigor, go back and actually physically
visit the movie theaters as if my, you know, $10, $12 here and there are going to keep them in
(21:46):
business. However, I think we should support them, right? And as I mentioned before, sometimes it's
just not feasible to buy a DVD. So I do have a lot on streaming. Essentially what I'm doing with
Shelfless Endeavors, aside from yet again making a terrible pun, is I'm looking at films that are
either playing in the theater or streaming or in some way creating buzz. And basically, I'm just
(22:06):
giving a snap review to that. I'm not getting into any real depth. This is not like diving in and
talking about critical reception and stuff. Just, you know, my thoughts and whether or not I think
you should see them. So this will be a lengthy segment because I've actually got a few films
here that I've got to talk about. We'll start with the first one. Anais in Love. So there's a funny
thing about this one. A week or so ago, I was browsing titles on Fandango at home and I saw
(22:29):
this one. The first sentence of the description read, and it still reads, I'll go back and check,
make sure I didn't dream it. Now in theaters. It's not uncommon for films to have a concurrent
theatrical streaming release, so I assume that was correct. And as much as I love my town,
we have 12 screens. So a foreign language film is probably never going to play here.
It seemed ridiculously cheap for a dual release, so I bought it. Well, it turns out it premiered in
(22:52):
the United States in May of 2022. My guess is no one ever bothered to go back and update the synopsis.
Heck, it's playing on Hulu right now. I could have watched it for free, but since I watched it,
I figured I would do a review because a lot of you probably haven't seen it. Watch it. It's fantastic.
Anais is a 30 year old who can only be described as a human whirlwind, but a charming one. She's
(23:13):
quirky. For instance, so claustrophobic she can't be in an elevator. She's scatterbrained,
but she's utterly charming. She meets a man named Danielle at a party who's nearly old enough to be
her father. And then she cheats on her boyfriend with him. Danielle, by the way, is also having
an affair. He has a partner. They're not married, but a partner by the name of Emily, who is an
author. They've been together for eight years. When the affair goes south, Anais, who at one
(23:37):
point was enchanted by a photo on the wall of the couple's house, which was a close-up of Emily,
her back to the camera face barely visible in profile as her flaxen hair is windblown.
She picks up one of the woman's novels and is immediately enamored. She travels to a conference
that Emily is also attending and begins to fall for her. In other words, this is about the most
French plot the French ever Frenched, but it works well. Ana is a bit flighty and breezy and yeah,
(24:01):
she cheats on her boyfriend, yet somehow you just can't help but love her. So the actress is named
Anais de Mustier. Again, apologies to you French listeners. I know. I know I'm bad at this. But yes,
by the way, Anais in Love is played by a woman named Anais, which is really interesting because
the writer-director Charlene Bourgeois-Taquette has said she wrote the play specifically for her,
(24:22):
so I assume it's no coincidence. But nonetheless, de Mustier is brilliant in her performance.
I hate the overuse of the phrase tour de force, but being a French film, I think it's appropriate
here. She channels Audrey Tateau in her most charming. In fact, the film does have shades of
Amelie, though nowhere near as off the wall. It's almost like Bourgeois-Taquette is channeling one
(24:43):
half Jean-Pierre Genoux and one half Godard. There's seriously some Godard vibes here too.
The handheld camera is a staple. In one of the early scenes, Anais is frantically running around
her cramped Paris apartment where her landlady is also standing, and all the while the camera
moves and spins, and most of it's in a single take. It's so masterfully done. It captures the
(25:03):
frenetic nature of both the scene and also the kinetic personality of the protagonist.
The cuts and transitions are lack thereof, also remind me of Godard. And not for nothing,
there are plenty of moments where the characters look directly into the camera and speak as if
gabbing with the audience. It may just be that I have a predilection for French cinema, but I
adored everything about this film. It was lighthearted and airy while it still dealt with
(25:25):
themes like infidelity, unwanted pregnancy, and cancer relapsing, and all of it was juggled
quite masterfully. If nothing else, there's a scene where Amelie is dancing to Kim Karn's
Betty Davis eyes and she invites Anais to join her. It is perhaps the sexiest scene I've seen in half
a decade. They barely look at each other, but the looks on their faces, it's just pure joy.
(25:47):
Their bodies move in a tandem. It's this sensuous display of attraction. It's so simple, but it's
so effective. See the film for that scene, if nothing else, but I think you'll enjoy the whole
shebang. One film that is currently streaming and playing in cinemas is Anora, and I'd been
hearing so much about that film that when it was available to stream, I bought it almost immediately.
I knew the basic plot. An American woman of lower status and shall we just say questionable
(26:12):
employee marries the son of a Russian oligarch. All right, she's a stripper and a prostitute.
Obviously not thrilled, the family seeks to get the marriage annulled. I'd heard that and I'd
heard that Mikey Madison was serious Oscar bait for this one. I don't actually want to say too
much here because I think I might want to do another Beside My Shelf episode about it. I mean,
it's so good and I have many thoughts. Let me just say this for now, watch it and watch it immediately.
(26:36):
If Madison does not take home the Oscar, I may just fly to LA and pick it outside the academy.
Oh, and I thought the film was just going to be a straight up drama. There are dramatic moments,
yes, but it is more screwball comedy than anything else and it's done perfectly.
Matter of fact, I didn't really look, but I found out Sean Baker was behind this.
And if I had known this, I might have been prepared for the tonal tightrope he loves to walk.
(26:59):
Fans of Red Rocket or the Florida Project will feel right at home, but this one I think takes
that screwball sensibility to new heights. Be prepared to hold your sides with laughter,
but also be forewarned. There are going to be a couple of moments where those aren't tears of
laughter running down your face. I mean, it's got some real emotional punch. And then finally,
this morning, yes, I went to the theater at 11 a.m. It's Christmas break, man. I did go to the
(27:25):
theater and I saw Baby Girl. Again, I tried to know as little about it as I could. That's something
new I'm trying. You know, just walk in as blind as humanly possible. You know, you're going to see
trailers here and there. You may read something in the trades, but a lot of times I just like
watch a snippet of it and then I just tune it out to try to come in with, you know, knowing the least
that I can. I knew Nicole Kidman was in it and I knew her character was having an affair with an
(27:47):
intern and that it was a little saucy. That's about it. Well, I will tell you, yeah, it's certainly
erotic. A film like this has to walk a line, potentially being too prurient, maybe too
sensational or sometimes possibly farcical. Baby Girl walks that line wonderfully. There are moments
that make you think we're about to rehash an albeit gender swapped fatal attraction. It doesn't.
(28:11):
It's much more concerned about character and depth than it is cliche. You feel sympathy for Jacob,
Antonio Banderas' character, the husband who's having horns put on his head, but you also feel
that for Romy Kidman, who's placing those said horns, and also for Samuel, played by Harris Dickinson,
whose smarminess and vulnerability vacillates not just through the film, but even within scenes
(28:35):
sometimes. And it does so in a way that's believable. It feels earned. It's not uneven
characterization. The film is gorgeously shot. It's at Christmas time. We won't get into the whole
diehard debate with this one, but that means there are lights always in the background.
The wardrobe choices pop on the screen, and there are certain scenes that also were really visually
captivating. There's one where they go to a rave and you have the strobing lights everywhere and
(28:59):
packed full of people. It's so well done. And while it's spicy, it's tastefully done as well.
Now, it's not a film you're going to want to watch with, say, your grandparents, but it doesn't belong
on Cinemax After Dark circa 1992 either. There's some deeply intimate scenes, but Helene Erasian,
I think I'm saying that wrong. I apologize. The Dutch writer-director takes a less is more approach,
(29:22):
which honestly makes it even hotter. Often she'll pull in for these extreme close-ups of the couples
and she keeps the camera moving, teasing the frame to mostly hide, but sometimes reveal whatever
we're supposed to be seeing. You couple that with a perfectly catered soundtrack and you've got some
lightning in a bottle. Seriously, I'll never listen to in excesses, never tear us apart the same way
(29:42):
again. And George Michael's father figure, well, it was already creepy and cringe, but it made me
remember just how creepy and cringe, particularly in context. It's Kidman's film and the 57-year-old
actress plays to all her strengths and vulnerabilities. She can love her husband truly
while also being exasperated by her lack of sexual fulfillment. She can be an assertive,
(30:05):
downright aggressive CEO who desires nothing more than to fall to her obsequious knees behind closed
doors. It's a part that requires raw emotion, tapping into moments that are familiar to all of
us, but also intensely private. And she's displaying it on the big screen. The word fearless comes to
mind. Matter of fact, I do feel a little sorry for Kidman because this is an Oscar-worthy portrayal,
(30:27):
but don't come for Mikey Madison, not this year. This is her year, Ms. Kidman. You've had your
hours in the spotlight. See what I did there? At any rate, I went into this film expecting it to be
decent. I did not think I would walk out reconsidering my top five of 2024 list, but here we are.
Speaking of top five lists, Shelf Christmasesm is over, thank goodness, and very soon we'll be
(30:49):
getting back to business as usual. That said, we wave goodbye to 2024 and welcome in the quarter
century mark. So next week, there's going to be another Beside My Shelf bonus episode. I'll review
the year, talking about the films that surprised me most, disappointed me most, the best films I've
watched for the podcast, so on and so forth. We'll highlight some truly standout performances of
(31:09):
2024, and I'll try not to gush too much over Mikey Madison, maybe even ask WTF for some other
performances, and we'll end it all with my top five of the year. Now, sadly, I can't watch them all,
but I'll have seen many more films in the average bloke this year, I will say. Oh, and that's not
counting that before New Year's Eve, I'll have also watched Nosferatu and A Complete Unknown and
check those two off the list. Also in this episode, as eloquent as I may sound on this
(31:32):
podcast, and both Mackenzie and I would sound on Real It, we do occasionally get a little tongue
tied, and I've been sitting on some of those outtakes for a while. So what better place to
laugh at ourselves than on a year end wrap? So before you watch the ball drop, be prepared to
slap on the headphones and take a walk down memory lane with the Owls of Palace. Season two of Shelf
Criticism is also just getting started. I would love to tell you what the next film is, but I'm
(31:54):
still kind of racking my brain on that one. I don't know. We'll see. Something in my wheelhouse,
but I can tell you on Real It, for January Mackenzie and I are going to be reading the book
by Jean Rees and the two films, one from the 90s and one from the 2010s, the adaptations of Wide
Sargasso Sea. So you might want to break out your Jane Eyre and read that and then get into Jean
(32:15):
Rees. If you know, you know, if not, listen to the podcast and the Owls of Parliament, all three of
us, producer Reagan included, are planning on coming back together sometime very soon. We're
about to have a watch party and do another episode for Midnight Movie. This time, I'm not looking
forward to it. They kind of are, but I lived through the 90s. We're looking at the 1991 film
(32:35):
Cool as Ice. If you didn't know, Mr. Ice Ice Baby himself also made a film and it may be actually
worse than the album he put out. So as we look back on this year, think about what was the good,
the bad, the ups, the downs, we can smile and we can also look forward to 2025. We can look
to 2025 because there's so much more from Shelf Criticism, from Real Lit and from the Owls of
(32:59):
Palace coming up. If you want to talk about any of that, make suggestions, send me an email.
That's steven at shelfcriticism.com and my name is S-T-E-P-H-E-N. You can also find us on social
media at Shelf Criticism. And the same is also true for my other podcast where I'm joined by the
Indomitable McKenzie. You can find us on social media as well, Real Lit podcast. You can email us
(33:22):
Real Lit at Real Lit podcast. And remember that's R-E-E-L like a film reel. So looking forward to
all of that and getting ready to ring in the new year. Let me just say, remember DVD Enficiados
to treat yourself to a little Shelf Criticism of your own. Amelia, sing us home.
(33:43):
Shelf Criticism is an Owls of Palace production. This podcast is in no way connected with the
educational institutions the host is employed by. The opinions expressed herein are solely those of
the host and do not necessarily reflect the views of any other organization with which he is
affiliated. Most images displayed are public domain. Images and stills from films, descriptions of
(34:04):
scenes and passages from books are used for educational and critical purposes and not for
profit and therefore fall under the terms of fair use.
Snot peas on some stuff then surprise he farts.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.