January 19, 2025 • 48 mins
This week on Shelf Criticism, we’re diving headfirst into Alexandre Aja’s 2010 remake of Piranha. It’s a film that combines blood-soaked carnage, 3-D spectacle, and a surprising amount of social commentary—if you know where to look.
Stephen explores how Piranha 3D critiques the exploitative culture of Girls Gone Wild while also indulging in the same excesses it mocks. From the over-the-top gore to its biting satire of voyeurism, this film is as paradoxical as it is entertaining. Along the way, we’ll dig into the film’s connections to Joe Dante’s 1978 original, its deliberate parody of Spring Break debauchery, and the deeper meanings lurking beneath the surface.
Plus, we’ll talk about propeller girl, Derrick Jones’s sleazy empire, and why Steven R. McQueen is cool by default—hint: it’s all in the DNA.
Whether you’re here for the piranhas, the parody, or just the chaos, this episode is one you won’t want to miss. Tune in now to see where Piranha 3D lands on the Shelf.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Can you do this?
(00:01):
Better believe it. I don't pole dance for nothing.
You have a lot of explaining to do.
(00:24):
Welcome to Shelf Criticism.
Meet your host, Stephen, a scholar of literature and film by day.
And by night, a cinematic archaeologist with a penchant for everything from
art house to popular to outright trash cinema.
Over the past quarter century, Stephen has amassed an eclectic DVD collection,
now occupying five shells of a Curia cabinet in his living room.
(00:47):
Each week, he bravely selects one of these titles to dissect.
Join him as he unearths everything from obscure gems to cinematic missteps.
From blockbuster hits to forgotten flops, each film gets the critical once over
it probably doesn't deserve but will absolutely receive.
So grab your popcorn and settle in.
It's time to dive into the diverse world of Shelf Criticism.
(01:17):
Welcome to Shelf Criticism.
We're skimming along through season two, reshelving my collection at a seeming
breakneck pace.
For those of you who are new to this podcast, first of all, welcome.
Second, I hope you like animal horror cinema.
See, in academia we sometimes find ourselves going down some oddly specific
niche areas of study.
As a literary scholar who all too often turns his back on books in favor of film,
(01:40):
it's not like there's all that much left to say about Shakespeare or the
Hollywood Renaissance or what have you.
Of course, some clever folks can still find something groundbreaking to mine from
such texts, but I'm just not that clever.
So I branch out to unexplored or at least only lightly explored territory.
There are a small handful of other scholars studying the same material, the
closest to my knowledge to me, all the way out in Aurora, Colorado, and for some
(02:05):
reason animal horror cinema is a big deal in Sweden.
Who knew?
Either way, here I am, the resident animal attack fiction expert in these parts,
working on a monograph that no one asks for, occasionally presenting, publishing,
or speaking on the topic when I have a proposal accepted or, in my current case,
I'm invited to speak.
You see, Saturday, February 15th at 2 p.m., my co-host of my other podcast,
(02:28):
Mackenzie and I, will be speaking at the Florence Lauderdale Public Library in
preparation for this year's annual George Lindsay UNA Film Festival.
This year there will be a focus on costuming.
Thus, Mackenzie will be presenting threads of fantasy, setting the scene for
fantasy and folklore cinema.
Keeping the synchronicity, my talk is called Threads of Authority, the County
Brownie uniform in animal horror cinema.
(02:51):
I tell you this story not only to encourage you all to mark your calendars,
it's going to be an afternoon of laughs, analysis, and dad jokes, of course, but
also to set up the next few episodes of this podcast.
There are surprisingly a whole lot of films in this subgenre that contain a
county sheriff or a similarly uniformed park ranger, so I have a whole stack of
films to sift through.
To top it off, I have this day job thing where they expect me to like, you know,
(03:14):
teach and grade essays and advise.
I know, I know, how dare they?
But I have to be careful about saying anything about killing the proverbial
birds with one stone, not when covering Revenge of Nature films, but if I am
going to keep a weekly episode of this podcast, I am going to have to do double
duty, thus leading up to our eagerly anticipated library talk that will
(03:35):
undoubtedly draw people from our town and many nearby counties and states.
It's going to be that good, y'all.
The episodes of Shelf Criticism will feature animal attacks, specifically
ones that involve a character wearing the county brownie, though I don't plan
on harping on that point in these episodes.
Now, if you're really curious about what that uniform has to do with Barth's
mythological semiotics or Clover's concept of the final girl, you're just going
(03:58):
to have to swing on by the good old FLPL next month.
There is plenty more in today's film to plumb the depths of anyway.
It's a remake that diverges down a different path than its predecessor.
It's directed by a renowned French director known for his tension, you'll see
what I did there in a minute, and blood and gore.
So it has to be a serious romp, right?
It played in theaters in 3D, though watching it on the small screen doesn't
(04:21):
quite yield the same results.
There is a copious amount of skin on screen, so it is certainly not a film you
want to watch with your grandparents.
So get out your swimsuits, slather on your sunscreen, and hop on the wild,
wild girl's boat.
There's nothing dangerous lurking below the surface, promise.
Today we're taking a bite out of Alexandra Ajah's 2010 3D remake of Piranha.
(04:43):
Beginning with my shelf pick, we'll take a look at the DVD.
I have the 2011 Blu-ray issue of this film.
The front cover has a woman in a bikini casually lounging on a float in the
middle of the water, her hand dipped below the surface as she suns herself.
Above her in red text reads, from the director of The Hills Have Eyes and the
producer of 300.
I did not know he produced 300 until I read that actually.
(05:05):
Below her, the text menacingly reads, there's something in the water.
The water incidentally gets murkier and darker the lower we go down the case.
At about dead center we get the title, Piranha, again in red letters, all caps.
Then back to a bluish-gray hue before we're treated to a critics quote,
it's jaws gone wild.
Oh, in Gleiberman Entertainment Weekly.
I don't know if it's Gleiberman or Gleiberman, but I'm going by the German
(05:28):
pronunciation, which would be Gleiberman.
Then beneath this, we see the open fanged jaws of several of the fish,
partially obscured by the darkness of the depths, but unmistakably there.
On the back we have another quote, this movie is a complete blast.
Run, don't walk, says Christy LaMire of the Associated Press.
Beneath this we have a photo of a woman's back submerged in water, bare aside
(05:50):
from a pair of red bikini bottoms.
Though we can't see above the small of her back, we know she's topless, because
the bikini top is floating down to the bottom on her left side.
And of course there's an entire school of the carnivorous fish swimming towards her
menacingly.
Our synopsis reads, From director Alexandre Aja, The Hills Have Eyes,
comes the sexy new action thriller Piranha.
Every year the population of sleepy Lake Victoria explodes from 5,000 to 50,000
(06:15):
for spring break, a riot of sun and drunken fun.
But this year there's something more to worry about than hangovers and complaints
from local old timers.
A new type of terror is about to cut loose on Lake Victoria.
After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating
fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from
(06:36):
becoming fish food for the area's new razor-toothed residents.
This film stars Jessica Zor, TV's Gossip Girl, Stephen R. McQueen, TV's The
Vampire Diaries, Elizabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott,
Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Lloyd, and Kelly Brooke.
Beneath this is a red band that gives us the special features, Filmmakers
(06:57):
commentary, deleted scenes with optional commentary, 10 behind-the-scenes
featurettes, and deleted storyboard sequences.
Beneath that we have a strip of four pictures that are scenes from the film.
Zor's Kelly up on the counter avoiding the rising water of the sinking boat.
I might also mention there is a righteous Dutch angle going on, which is actually
logical in this case because the boat is capsizing and tilting in one direction.
(07:21):
O'Connell's Derek Jones in the water frantically reaching up for help on the
next picture.
Then Shue's Cheryl Foster, Scott's Novak, and a deputy on the boat reaching down
to help the partiers who are being devoured up to safety.
And lastly, Rhames' deputy Fallon when he goes medieval in the piranhas, grabbing
the motor of the boat and using the propeller to do some major damage.
(07:43):
Love that scene.
Honestly, this might be the best cover copy I've seen since starting this
podcast.
No grammatical issues.
I mean, I wish they'd italicized film and TV titles instead of just throwing
them in quotes, but that's a losing battle I'm fighting.
Otherwise, there's nothing misleading at least.
If anything, despite teasing a bit of skin and eroticism, the cover doesn't hint
at just how libidinous this film really is.
(08:06):
It's been a while since we've talked about nudity on this podcast, but that
streak ends today.
But first, let's talk about how I came to own it.
When I discussed Rogue, I mentioned that I was once asked to be a guest on the
Buddies with Film Degrees YouTube channel to talk about the Idris Elba film
Beast, which also dealt with lion attacks.
As that channel, which by the way, I highly recommend you subscribe to and
(08:27):
enjoy as well.
It has an even more screwball off the wall tone than my podcast.
They gave my credentials as professional animal attacker, and that did give me a
chuckle, but it's misleading at best.
Still, it's amusing, and I sometimes use it myself for funsies.
Well, I wasn't always a professional animal attacker.
I didn't start this line of research until 2016, over half a decade after Piranha
(08:51):
3D hit theaters.
But I still loved bad horror movies, as did my wife, and I was already familiar
with the original 1978 Roger Corman produced film.
As I've said before, my wife too had a penchant for campy horror comedy, so of
course we found ourselves sitting in a theater with 3D glasses on our heads
laughing and taking it all in.
I remember at least once after its theatrical run, my wife and I sitting
(09:12):
down and rewatching it on one of the premium networks, and we laughed and
relived some of the more hammy moments.
At some point it wound up as a fixture on our DVR, one of the selections with
the stipulation not to delete, even if the hard drive got full, which it did
often, mostly from her recording every rerun of Dr. Phil and Syndication.
Hey, the two of us agreed on a lot of entertainment for our viewing pleasure,
(09:35):
but not all of it.
Speaking of which, I also recall that we watched the 1978 version together.
A version I insisted was the superior of the two, but she vehemently disagreed
with that take.
The DVD, however, found its way to my shelf around 2021.
A proposal I'd made for an academic conference, and this one was virtual
because the world was still partially shut down from COVID, had been accepted.
(09:57):
The title was Redfish, Bluefish, the disappearing ecological message of the
Piranha reboot.
In preparation for this, I ordered the original Piranha, the original sequel,
Piranha 2, The Spawning, though why the heck does this exist TV movie remake
from 1995?
I think the first appearance of Mila Kunis, which is the only remarkable
thing about that film.
(10:18):
Also, of course, the 2010 remake under consideration today was ordered, as
was its sequel, titled, I kid you not, Piranha 3DD.
Never say I'm not thorough.
And also be forewarned that more Piranha-related content could spawn itself
at any moment on this podcast, as I have four of the DVDs I could cover.
I will also offer this word of caution.
(10:39):
The presentation I gave at that conference was relegated to 20 minutes, and I
actually talked for almost 30, but I still had to cut a lot.
How much, you ask?
Well, I always just write and let myself go crazy for a first draft, and then I
go back and cut later.
So when I timed my first go-round on this particular presentation, it was
nearly an hour and 15 minutes.
(11:00):
And guess what?
A lot of what I had to cut may just resurface on this episode.
So forgive me if I get a little bit more academic than usual.
Speaking of the pros, let's go into critical reception.
You know how I said several episodes back that I was just going to stop
speculating what the critics had to say about any given film?
Well, that truly is a best practice.
Rotten Tomatoes gives this film a 75% on the Toma...
(11:23):
I always want to say Tomatometer, the Tomatometer, I'm assuming it is.
Metacritic is less congratulatory, ranking it at a 53.
Still, that weighted score just means the critics saw some flaws, but
overall thought the film wasn't bad.
There's a very small window of those surveyed who found it overwhelmingly
negative.
The moviegoers are far less kind.
The popcorn meter on RT ranks it at 45%.
(11:44):
While Metacritic's user rating does slightly elevate its estimation at a 5.3.
For the critical review, I'm going with Betsy Sharkey.
And I swear I didn't choose her just for her tangentially relevant last name.
Her publication is in the LA Times.
It's a mostly negative review, which bears the exceptionally clever title of
movie review colon Piranha3D.
Incidentally, I'm not throwing any shade at Sharkey.
(12:06):
Titles are usually an editor's choice.
And I just want to say up front that while this is the first review I've read
from this critic, and while I'm going to disagree with her a bit, it is
incredibly well written.
This woman can turn a phrase, and just reading her prose was a true delight.
That said, let's get these disagreements going.
She writes, Piranha3D, the film that asks you to question, how do you like
(12:29):
your human's fillade and answers, in large numbers please, is trying so hard
for the laughs and the allusions amid all the gore and endless blood bath of
bare naked ladies that it completely forgets to frighten anyone.
And seriously, though it's impossible to be serious about a film like this,
the top priority for any horror movie maker, even when the tongue is placed
firmly in cheek, should be building a better scare factor rather than
(12:52):
figuring out how many 3D boobs can be captured in a single frame.
Ah, but bodies and body parts, ripped, shredded, chewed, and in the case of
a particularly significant male body part, spit out in all its 3D glory,
are really what this Jaws and Piranha3D horror parody is all about.
You see what I mean? It's good writing.
(13:13):
Such a nice flow, smooth, liquid prose, clever turns of phrase.
There's a musicality there that you just can't teach.
But regardless of topic, there are certain people who were just born to
compose the written word, and I guess Sharky's just one of them.
Kudos.
Let's start with our initial claims. Is this a scary film?
I mean, there are moments. I know Ajay as a director quite well by this point.
(13:37):
Matter of fact, during the previous season of Shelf Criticism,
back when we were doing our October run of Halloween fun,
I covered another film he helmed, Mirrors.
I didn't like it as much as I thought I had on first viewing,
though the scares and terror were somewhat present.
I'd only seen his Hills Have Eyes remake once, but I did not like that one at all.
Then there's the French film that made his reputation.
The French language haute tension, or something along those lines.
(14:00):
High tension is how we translate it here.
We uncultured American swine who can't speak French.
That film, while having a questionable twist at the end,
one that is effective for a shock but maybe doesn't hold up so well under post-viewing scrutiny,
the film is at least well executed. Let's just say that.
And then there's 2019's Crawl, which I do like.
It's another entry in the animal horror cinema,
(14:22):
and in many ways the polar opposite of Piranha.
It doesn't go for the spectacle of 3D.
It doesn't feature any nudity, much less of the gratuitous nature.
It isn't campy or self-aware.
And even if it breaks no new ground in the genre,
it's 90 minutes of bare-knuckle suspense
as we watch Haley and her father try to survive the battering of a hurricane
while bloodthirsty gators invade their ever-flooding house.
(14:45):
Yet the constant in all these films, whether I thought they worked or didn't,
is the fact that they are all suspenseful, even scary.
Aja may sometimes tease us with fake jump scares
or a cacophonous orchestral stinger to elicit a cheap startle,
but he has a way of curating an atmosphere of suspense that very few like him are able to do.
And I would argue there are a few isolated moments where Piranha is also able to accomplish this,
(15:07):
but I would agree with Sharkey that those moments are much more sporadic
than any of Aja's other output, prior or subsequent.
The tone of this film, however, is just simply different.
Aja leans heavier into the lasciviousness of the story, but effective or not,
I think that naughtiness plays a significant role in what the film is going for.
So let's talk those 3D boobs and body parts for a second, to use Sharkey's phrasing,
(15:31):
and all in an academic detached manner, which reminds me to toss out the disclaimer.
While this podcast and all Alza Palace productions strive to maintain a clean rating
free of any explicit content, we also do not shy away from discussing
some potentially offensive content raised by the media under discussion.
As we continue, discussions of nudity, sexuality, and graphic violence will be broached,
(15:53):
thus listener discretion is advised.
So that out of the way. It's clear to me this film, while ostensibly marketed as a horror,
or at least horror comedy, has a main focus of doing something other than merely creating those jumps
that send popcorn flying into the air.
Without getting too deep into the original 1978 film, since it's on my DVD shelf as well,
and one I do intend to cover at some point on this podcast,
(16:16):
suffice it to say that that film was campy, violent, fun, but it also had a clear message behind it.
Now while I'm no fan of self-citation, as it feels self-congratulatory and self-aggrandizing,
it is better than self-plagiarism.
So allow me to remark that some of what I'm about to say was part of that aforementioned presentation
that I delivered at the 2021 Acida Conference on the symbolic imagination.
(16:39):
Since I did that on this podcast, is it also shelf citation? Sorry, couldn't resist.
Where was I? Oh yeah.
The 1978 film, incidentally directed by Joe Dante of Gremlin's fame,
had a barely masked underlying ecological message.
As these piranhas were genetically altered with the plans to be released into the waterways controlled by the Viet Cong,
(17:02):
only to be stored away in a mountain reservoir as the war had ended before they could be deployed,
the film delivered a stern rebuke to the military industrial complex.
Specifically, it alluded to the environmental damage the United States did to Vietnam during the conflict.
Widespread use of chemical defoliants like Agent Orange, which destroyed vast areas of forest,
impacting biodiversity and causing long-term soil contamination,
(17:25):
affected both wildlife and human populations through exposure to dioxins.
This included damage to mangrove forests along the coast, significantly altering the ecosystem.
And if you're really interested in all that historical information and how the film evokes it,
just send me an email and I'll be happy to send you a copy of my notes for that presentation.
I might even get into a little bit of the ideas when I do eventually get around to covering that DVD.
(17:47):
But today's focus is on the 2010 remake, so let me circle back around to that.
My presentation delved into the aforementioned reading,
also noting that the titular aquatic aggressors in the 2010 film were simply prehistoric vestiges,
surviving trapped in an underwater cave that was sealed until freed by an earthquake.
Not the slightest suggestion of anthropogenic meddling causes this catastrophe.
(18:10):
It's just simply nature being cold, uncaring nature.
By the way, check out my discussion of themes of nihilism and naturalism in my episode on Eatin' Alive
if you want to explore that idea further.
Man, I'm just with the shameless plugs today, aren't I?
Going with a full-blown new historicism approach for my presentation,
I argued that upon the 1978 film's release, environmentalism wasn't a partisan issue.
(18:33):
Both sides were concerned with conservation.
Heck, it was President Nixon who signed the EPA into existence and declared the first Earth Day.
However, somewhere in the late 80s, early 90s onward, gradually and deliberately,
there was a push to make anything environmentally focused seem like a far-left, hippie-dippie idea,
with the right becoming recalcitrant to any efforts to alleviate climate change or preserve the ecosystem.
(18:56):
Thus, I argued the 2010 release avoided this potentially divisive topic.
Republicans, after all, buy movie tickets, too.
That's not to say this film doesn't also try to have some sort of message,
one touching on another topic closer to the cultural zeitgeist, though perhaps coming a few years too late.
Incidentally, some of what I am going to say here was cut from my presentation due to time constraints.
(19:17):
As such, I focused almost solely on the 1978 film and its message,
mostly noting the remake just abandoned the ecological message.
But a large portion of the plot in Ajay's remake deals with sleazeball Derek Jones, played by Jerry O'Connell.
He's founder, producer, even part-time cameraman for Wild Wild Girls.
This organization goes to crazy hotspots for spring break, mingling with the drunken revelers
(19:41):
with the explicit purpose of talking them into exposing themselves for the camera,
presumably to be marketed and sold later as DVDs or other forms of visual consumption.
Now, if that sounds familiar, particularly to folks around my age,
that's because it is a deliberate parody of Girls Gone Wild.
See, the name is even really, really close.
Girls Gone Wild was founded by a man named Derek J.
(20:02):
No, I mean, Joe Francis.
They went to wild hotspots for spring break, mingling with, yeah, you get the similarities.
From a span of the late 90s to the early aughts,
if you happen to be bitten by the insomnia bug and were flipping around late night TV,
there is no way you weren't privy to infomercials of Francis peddling his smut.
In 2003, for instance, according to Vegas Inc Magazine,
(20:26):
Girls Gone Wild spent over $21 million in advertising.
Heck, they practically kept E, BET, and Comedy Central in the air.
Francis and his crew would find those revelers and encourage them to show some skin for the camera
in exchange for sometimes cash, but often trinkets even less enticing,
such as just ball caps or t-shirts.
Still, folks do tend to make poor decisions when under the influence.
(20:48):
And bear in mind, this was before the ubiquity of the internet
or everyone having a camera on their phone, or even having a phone in their pocket for that matter.
No one was really thinking about the potential long-term deleterious effects
of risque behavior caught on camera.
And this was around the same time, I should say, that I started making trips
numerous times a year to New Orleans.
Once famous for the beads for boobs bartering,
(21:10):
this didn't just take place during Mardi Gras or spring break.
I mean, you could walk down Bourbon Street on a Tuesday afternoon in September and see this happen.
So Girls Gone Wild took its cues from this idea.
Many of their DVD releases taking place on said fabled street during the fabled Mardi Gras season.
Again, as this company began producing content in 97, my freshman year of college,
I do know more than one woman who appeared in a montage of Francis produced films.
(21:35):
Living in Alabama, we took a lot of trips to New Orleans, particularly as college students.
That was our spring break spot, not Florida.
And I will also say that as someone who tries his best not to pass judgment,
and certainly someone who is far from uptight,
every woman that I do know who's done this has told me they regret that decision,
just for what it's worth.
The Girls Gone Wild franchise would peak around 2005 or 2006
(21:56):
when Snoop Dogg made an appearance on one of their videos.
Warning! This video contains explicit material not suitable for children.
If you think Girls Gone Wild was wild before,
just wait until you see what these girls do when Snoop Dogg is unleashed and takes control of the camera.
It's not sold in stores and can't be shown on TV,
so call now and get the all-new Girls Gone Wild Doggy Style,
hosted by Snoop Dogg, yours on video or DVD for just $9.99.
I know, it's hard to believe the fellow we now jokingly think of as America's uncle
(22:20):
was once far less than urbuncular.
Then again, go back and listen to Doggy Style.
How soon we forget.
It is perhaps worth noting that his appearance was in conjunction with a charitable promotion,
with all proceeds going to aid with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
Hey, at least Francis gave back to the city that had made him a multimillionaire
with its raucous annual celebration.
And some of that may have been a Hail Mary to try and whitewash his image.
(22:44):
By that point, Francis was embroiled in dozens of legal scandals,
from deceptive marketing practices that made consumers think they were buying a single DVD
only to lock them into a subscription,
to numerous women suing to have themselves removed from the footage, claiming they were also deluded.
As increasingly more dirt was unearthed on Francis,
the already sleazy reputation of himself and his company became further besmirched,
(23:07):
culminating in the company filing for bankruptcy in 2013 and Francis serving a year in prison.
And I won't go into all the details, but I will say there's a three-part documentary
called Girls Gone Wild, The Untold Story.
It's available on Peacock, and if you're interested,
just let them dish on the litany of questionable to downright illegal deeds
that were performed under the banner of GGW.
Thus, what Sharkey highlights in her critique.
(23:30):
Remember Sharkey? Yeah, I know, we've made quite a detour here,
but we are talking about the critique, and it is all relevant.
Rather than settling for a simple gorefest,
Piranha 3D parodies and critiques the culture that enabled someone like Joe Francis to become rich.
Like the Piranhas providing the film scares,
that culture spawned a swarm of imitators preying on female partygoers.
While some critics have branded this film misogynistic,
(23:53):
claiming it revels in violence against women, like, let's face it, so many horror films do,
I think this is a deliberate, symbolic choice.
Many of the film's grotesque scenes linger on the Piranhas devouring these scantily clad,
or sometimes entirely naked women, but this mirrors the on-screen exploitation of Derek Jones
and Wild Wild Girls, much like Francis in Girls Gone Wild.
(24:14):
The film doesn't just depict exploitation, however, it also implicates us in it.
Like Jones' camera, the film invites us to feast, metaphorically with our eyes,
on these exposed bodies, forcing us to confront the very culture it satirizes.
Now that doesn't make this film the second coming of Betty Friedan, however.
It's another one of those films that wants to, as the cliché goes, have its cake and eat it too.
(24:36):
Or, perhaps in this case, have its commentary and exploitation too.
Like so many films who push the implications of our voyeuristic tendencies,
be they salacious desire for gore or nudity, they do so focusing and lingering on those very elements.
Piranha is paradoxically a scathing indictment of our bloodthirsty and lubricious desires,
while also catering to and immersing us in those very same vices.
(25:00):
The film's relentless displays of skin and violence are necessary to make its parody clear,
but their sheer frequency forces us to both confront and indulge the very excesses that it mocks.
Speaking of indulgences, thank you for allowing me to go down that path.
I've been sitting on that since having to cut it from that presentation in 2021.
It feels good to free that little tidbit from my file folder that I call the Isle of Misfit commentary.
(25:24):
Perhaps we should go back to our critique. Remember that?
Sharky continues, now forgive me if I don't get all this science right,
but basically these bad boys, that's the Piranha, are the scary dino version of our modern day nibblers,
which essentially means they are even uglier and angrier and remarkably precise.
They can, for instance, remove a bikini top without drawing blood, though they do invariably go back for the kill.
(25:47):
There's nothing I can say here to add anything. It's punchy, it's hilarious,
and I'm making a mental note here to go back and read everything this woman has ever written.
I may have found a worthy inheritor to the rhetorical craftsmanship of Pauline Kael and Roger Ebert.
As a matter of fact, why don't I just read a few more snippets of Sharky's snarky prose?
Our central good kid is Jake, the sheriff's oldest son, played by Stephen McQueen, grandson of the late great.
(26:11):
Gossip Girl's Jessica Zor plays Kelly, the hometown girl he pines for.
Most of the rest of the cast comes with descriptions rather than names.
There's Drunk Kid, Drunk Dumb Jock, Drunk Laughing Jock, Girl Cut in Half, and my personal favorite, Propeller Girl.
So two quick notes here. One, y'all know how much I love it when a film gives actors crazy credits.
(26:34):
And yeah, Propeller Girl? Stop. I love it.
Two, when I first saw our lead was Stephen R. McQueen, my first thought was, Lord, not another.
Of course, there is the director, Stephen McQueen, who helmed such great flicks as Widows and Twelve Years a Slave.
Then there is the legend, the, to borrow a phrase from Drive by Truckers,
(26:56):
coolest doggone mother scratcher on the silver screen.
And like Truckers frontman Patterson Hood, there was a time I could say Bullet was my favorite movie I'd ever seen.
Though I, unlike him, did not total my go-kart, trying to imitate that chase scene.
That must thing had six hood cats know what I mean. And I love the way they all flew off and let it in everything.
(27:19):
Stephen McQueen, Stephen McQueen, I was a little boy I wanted to grow.
Well, it turns out Stephen R. McQueen is actually the grandson of that doggone mother scratcher.
I won't say I was blown away by his performance. Wasn't bad. Wasn't great.
But the fact that a quarter of his DNA comes from THE Steve McQueen, well that alone skyrocketed him in my estimation.
(27:44):
Grandson McQueen, your proximity to greatness makes you cool by default.
I bet you could slip behind the wheel of a 68 Mustang GT390 Fastback and just tear through the streets of San Francisco on instinct alone.
Those who know, know. You get that digression.
Anyway, Sharky continues. As to the actual story, well, there's a lake packed with drunk, see above,
(28:06):
hotties and bikinis. They're forever taking off. There are big piranha packs swarming.
A few scientists stop by to throw in lines like you're not going to believe this.
A few law enforcement types scream, get out of the water now.
Mayhem everywhere. Enough that the fake blood and severed limb budget was probably the film's biggest expenditure.
I tried describing the gore, but words just can't do justice to the damage a massive Mesozoic underbite and the occasional outboard motor can do.
(28:35):
Honestly, I have nothing to add or take issue with here. I just wanted to read that because it's so well written.
Mesozoic underbite? Zing?
I suppose I could simply remark that while Sharky seems to be presenting the over-the-top violence as a negative, we all know how I feel.
She concludes her review by saying, though there are many laughs, Piranha3D never reaches the smart observational satire of, say, scream,
(28:58):
and it goes seriously overboard on the gore. The upside? You'll never be afraid to go into the water again.
Alright, well, reviewing the review, it does lose some steam there at the end, but to be fair, it's hard to keep up that level of clever for a full film critique.
At least she does end with turning the famous Jaws tagline on its head.
I'm not sure how much this film is attempting to be a meta commentary, though.
(29:19):
I mean, sure, there's some of the aforementioned scopophilic lingering on boobs and blood, but I don't think it's fair to compare it to a film like Scream.
It's not trying to do the same thing.
Besides, even when meta films are done fairly well, like Cherry Falls, Funny Games, Behind the Mask, even the clear runner-up to the Scream franchise, Cabin in the Woods,
none of it can quite hit the same level as the one who set the bar in the first place.
(29:42):
Piranha is a hilariously funny movie in places. At no point does it stop being fun.
It bays in its excesses and I suppose either endears it to you or reviles you to it.
I'm the former, while Betsy Sharkey, apparently, is the latter. Not a problem. Agree to disagree.
While what Sharkey sees as shortcomings are mostly strengths in my eyes, that's not to say Piranha 3D is not without its faults.
(30:06):
While what Sharkey sees as shortcomings are mostly strengths in my eyes, that's not to say Piranha 3D is without its faults.
Moving into my take, let's wade into some of the deeper waters and talk about where this film starts to sink.
So for a few years before Piranha's release, 3D was making a comeback in theaters, now with the technology much improved.
However, it wasn't until the previous year's Avatar began making waves that it seemed everyone had jumped on the bandwagon.
(30:31):
And horror is a genre particularly suited for the medium. Going all the way back to the 50s with its limited technology,
filmmakers have treated us to a depth of field experience for a long time.
The year before gave us the My Bloody Valentine remake.
SAW 3D appeared the same year, and like Piranha 3D, this did not denote the third entry into the series.
Though, confusingly, this was actually the seventh SAW film.
(30:52):
Of course, we might be primed to think that because Jaws 3 was also in 3D and was called Jaws 3D.
You know, even the aforementioned Cabin in the Woods got a 3D release.
Unlike many 3D films, though, Piranha was filmed in 2D and converted in post-production.
This doesn't necessarily make for a bad film.
I mean, Marvel films like Thor and Captain America the First Avenger, as well as some of the Harry Potter franchise, were also given the same treatment.
(31:16):
However, as this new trend became popular, let's face it, not in the least due to the elevated ticket prices that kept the box office inflated as compared to 2D,
many of the films that were shot were not expecting that added feature, and this showed on screen.
Regardless of its road there, though, Piranha was always envisioned as a 3D film.
Due to some of the requirements, such as shooting underwater, it simply wasn't financially feasible to begin in 3D.
(31:40):
It's estimated that the studio saved over a million dollars by going down this road.
Now, I do remember the experience in theaters.
In the opening sequence where the fisherman Matt drops the empty beer bottle and we watch it slowly sink to the bottom while the seaweed behind it waves, wisps significantly, yeah, that felt authentic.
And speaking of the relentless TNA, it was also framed for 3D, and the film revels in that as much as anything else.
(32:03):
Boobies in 3D. Remember the famous or infamous underwater scene?
Two of the wild, wild girls are swimming below the surface wearing nothing but swim fins and being filmed through the glass bottom of the boat.
At one point, the cameraman Andrew sophomorically remarks, they're like fish with boobies.
It's a sequence that goes on too long, way too long.
(32:26):
But prurience aside, it is gorgeous just the way it was shot. The angles, the rays of sun penetrating the water, their motion so fluid and poetic.
Seeing that in 3D makes it visually stunning.
Only watching it on my own television, especially a larger sized one, it looks blurry and artificial, almost like bad CGI rendering.
So do the fish in a lot of places, most notably when they're devouring a person.
(32:50):
In short, and this is unfair critique I suppose because it's not meant to be seen this way, but the film does suffer while being viewed only in 2D.
There are some plot holes that are obvious and bothersome.
The most egregious comes from the complete disappearance of the aforementioned Andrew, played by the character actor Paul Scheer.
Ajay himself said in an interview that they had a death scene written and storyboarded for the ill-fated camera operator, but budgetary restrictions forced them to eschew shooting it.
(33:15):
I understand that films often shoot scenes out of order, so when Jake, Kelly, Laura, and Zane, and almost Danny, but you can't be both a wild, wild girl and a final girl.
When they're saved, the filmmakers may have thought later that the scene where Andrew meets his maker was still going to be filmed.
I also get that if it was way too expensive to film his death scene, that going back and doing a reshoot of that scene would have been too big a price tag, I'm sure.
(33:39):
Still, it just never ceases to baffle me when studios just carelessly drop threads and think moviegoers will be none the wiser.
Then again, maybe not everyone watches films as close as I do. I wonder how many viewers just forgot about this character.
Incidentally, Scheer reprises the role of Andrew in the sequel, yet again titled Piranha 3 Double D.
I'm guessing they throw out some explanation out there of where he was, maybe even make a meta-end joke.
(34:01):
I don't know. I mean, I have seen the sequel, but only once, and that was a long time ago.
And I guess I am doing a rewatch of that one too, which is moderately terrifying at this point.
After Christmas Vacation 2, I have sequel phobia.
But even with blurry fish and vanishing characters, the cast of Piranha 3D brings their own bite to the chaos.
Let's take a look at who made the biggest splash in standout performance.
(34:24):
The film is camp, which always makes it hard to pick a winner here.
Almost everyone in it seems they're overacting, hamming it up, chewing on scenery.
I know that's a cliche I use often, but in a film about piranhas, it does kind of seem to fit the motif.
Case in point, Jerry O'Connell as Derek Jones.
So sleazy, so greedy, so self-absorbed, so geeked up on blow that you can practically smell the testosterone and Axe body spray oozing through the television.
(34:50):
Likewise, in a small but memorable role, Christopher Lloyd as the resident ichthyologist gives off nutty professor and mad scientist vibes all at once.
But it's perhaps a bit too close to Doc Brown to really make him stand out.
As a seismologist sent to Lake Victoria to investigate the earthquake, only to realize the town is crawling with scantily clad spring breakers,
Ricardo Chavira's near whiplash-inducing rubbernecking at all the cleavage and thongs is certainly amusing.
(35:15):
But his role is barely longer than a cameo. He's fish food pretty quickly.
It is, however, kind of cool that last episode I talked about Eva Longoria a good bit, and now we're mentioning her TV husband from Desperate Housewives, Carlos.
Speaking of cameos, Eli Roth is the announcer for the wet t-shirt contest.
Just, if you've seen it, you know. If you haven't, you'll immediately know when you do see it.
(35:36):
Ving Rhames is as always a commanding presence on the screen.
He's fun to watch as the faithful deputy, and it seems like he's mostly playing it down the middle,
up until the final carnage drench set piece where he goes unhinged and starts to do major damage with the trolling motor.
Of the principal cast, as I remarked before, Stephen R. McQueen is perfectly competent.
Jessica Xhoras Kelly has some dramatic moments, and actually, I think she captures them pretty well.
(36:00):
It's a place where a lot of actors may play it too big, especially in a film that's already soaked in excess, but she's actually pretty good here.
Elizabeth Shue does play the straight man, and she does so quite effectively.
She's a tough, no-nonsense sheriff of the town, and she has to be because of her gender. She finds a way to earn respect.
Officer, it was a mistake.
(36:22):
Can't we just work something out here?
No, mistake or no mistake, you just destroyed public property.
And from the smell of your breath, I suggest you take the ticket, maybe get a ride home with your friends.
Oh, I don't know, I was kind of hoping you might drive me home.
Touching an officer's uniform is considered assault. Were you aware of that?
Come on, you look pretty hot in tan.
(36:44):
It's not tan, it's beige.
Hey, you think you can take it easy on us?
If you boys take one more step, you'll be pissing lightning bolts into next week, okay?
Now we all know Shue can act. She deservedly has a golden statue on her shelf for her role in Leaving Las Vegas.
She was so freaking good in Paul Meadow and Cousin Bet.
If you haven't seen her bonkers role where she plays a crazy version of herself in Hamlet 2, well, just trust me.
(37:09):
That alone is worth watching that film.
I will say, however, that because my current research is looking in particularly to sheriffs in these films,
I may have been watching her too closely this go-round.
And then again, if her performance was able to stand up to even closer scrutiny, that's testament to her acting chops,
even in a silly film like this one.
Nonetheless, you know I like to make a less than obvious choice.
(37:31):
Kelly Brooke plays Dani, the one wild, wild girl you can actually stand.
Like the others, she exudes a sort of raw sensuality.
She's aware of her effect on men and she straight up owns it.
She's unapologetically seductive, yet she's also kind and considerate.
Immediately upon meeting Jake, she's genuinely friendly and nice to him.
The obligatory nerd outcast who everyone else, Kelly also accepted here, treats like crap.
(37:57):
And I know the freakishly handsome McQueen as a social pariah is quite the stretch, but Hollywood logic.
Dani does get so close to making it through this bloodbath and frankly by this point, we're rooting for her.
Her death may hit the hardest in the film for this reason.
Well, her or Rames, who we also assume is eventually overtaken by the fish, but guess who else turns up in the sequel?
(38:20):
So let's give the outstanding performance to Brooke.
In a movie where piranhas aren't the only ones circling their prey, Brooke manages to swim against the current.
She's confident and kind and let's be honest, she deserved better.
Rest in peace, Dani. You deserve to be in the sequel more than Paul Scheer did.
Generally, our next segment is cultural context.
You want more cultural context?
(38:41):
Dude, I've talked at length about the film's predecessor, Joe Francis, the 3D trend.
You already got your cultural context. Let's move on to trivia.
Speaking of cameos, I'm sure you all caught Richard Dreyfuss as the drunk fisherman at the beginning of the film.
You probably even laughed that he's singing Show Me The Way To Go Home to himself.
So yeah, acknowledging that Jaws is this film's granddaddy.
(39:04):
But did you also know he's credited as Matt Boyd, as in let's get as close to Matt Hooper as we can without getting sued?
Dreyfuss being Dreyfuss said in an interview, I don't know anything about piranha other than the work I did on the film.
I worked for two days in the middle of the desert, got my check and then left.
Speaking of other cameos, Christopher Lloyd also has a very brief role.
(39:26):
Lloyd and Shue had worked together, of course, on Back to the Future 2 and 3, where Shue played Jennifer, Marty McFly's girlfriend.
The original actress, Claudia Wells, had taken a hiatus from acting because her mother had been diagnosed with cancer.
Also, speaking of our winner of the ever prestigious Outstanding Performance Award, Kelly Brooke, a Brit, auditioned with an American accent.
(39:47):
But Aja insisted she use her natural brogue, believing it to be more charming.
Also, speaking of Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild founder was adamant that if any overt mentions of Derek Jones being him were made, he would take legal action.
During the promotional interviews upon the film's release, O'Connell literally said on more than one occasion that he played Joe Francis.
(40:08):
After receiving a cease and desist letter from Francis' lawyer, O'Connell said at the next interview, I get to play Joe Francis.
Oh, wait, for legal reasons, I'm supposed to say I play someone loosely based on Joe Francis.
Also, speaking of segues, I've been really lazy on this segment, haven't I?
And also, speaking of lazy segues, it's time to put this darling on a shelf.
(40:31):
So those of you who are new listeners or those who need a refresher, I have five shelves on my DVD Curio, so I simply treat this with a bartender's model.
The best stuff goes on the top shelf, rock gut goes on the bottom shelf, and then we have second shelf, mid shelf, and fourth shelf.
So what to do with this one? I like this film a lot, more than I should.
Honestly, I do find the 78 version far superior, but that doesn't detract from my enjoyment of watching this one.
(40:57):
Yes, it's the film of excess that proudly displays them like the women in the wet t-shirt contest.
No, no, no, let's let's skip that simile.
The film is providing me with a lot of scholarly fodder for my research.
This episode is going to be much longer than most on shelf criticism, and I did get a bit more academic than I usually do.
And I haven't even talked about Elizabeth Shue's costuming or how that County Brownie uniform ties into Roland Barthes concept of mythological semiotics.
(41:25):
I will, however, do that at the Florence Lauderdale Public Library on February 15th at 2 p.m.
You know I was going to get one more shameless plug in there, didn't you?
That said, I also like a lot of trash, and also a film doesn't have to have quality to be studied.
In case you want evidence to support that claim, I've also done scholarly work on the Sharknado franchise.
And speaking of those excesses, sorry, I'll stop now.
(41:48):
But those excesses are what most of those who take a negative view of this film will point out.
For me, they're some of the film's greatest strengths, alongside some solid performances by Shue, Brooke, and a few others.
Now, really, my biggest gripe with this film comes from viewing it in 2D.
At least, I think. You know, like I said, I saw it once in 3D and I remember it vividly, the underwater ballet scene,
(42:09):
because of just how visually impressive it was in 3D, y'all. Not for perverted reasons. Don't pin that on me.
I also remember a few gags that were perhaps cheap, but also fun.
You know, there's a scene where a reveler is shaking the nozzle of beer on a beer keg and it splashes its contents towards the screen,
and it seems like they're going to come right out and soak you, like you'd have to be worried of getting a DUI driving home if you got pulled over because you reeked of booze.
(42:31):
And then there's also the worm's eye, or maybe fish eye, since we're technically in the water view, that Kelly, when she leans over the boat and vomits,
and it makes you think it's about to spill into your lap. And okay, yes, that's kind of gross, but it does keep the film's flip-up tone.
What I don't recall are the scenes of gore, particularly the ones underwater. But viewing them in 2D, they look awful.
(42:54):
I've had much to say about bad CGI before. Rogue, anyone?
And when the fish attack in this movie, it makes that horribly rendered lion in that film look like a living, breathing creature traversing the savanna majestically.
I would honestly like to view this film again in 3D, just to see if those scenes are lacking there as well.
I can't imagine they aren't, if they look this bad on 2D, and that I don't really remember those scenes as being memorable the first time I saw it.
(43:20):
So tack in the plot holes to that and the numerous hiccups and congruity that I didn't even really dwell on, and that's going to affect this shelving tremendously.
Since I'm working off the DVD and not a 3D cut on the big screen, I guess I'm going to shelf it by those merits instead.
Perhaps the 3D iteration would land on the fourth shelf, but for this disc, I'm... I really gave that one away, didn't I? No more suspense.
(43:42):
Totally anti-climactic drum roll.
Drum roll.
It's going on the middle shelf.
Unless you have a strong aversion to some really fake looking carnage, or are just strongly offended by the nude female form, or god awful CGI, there's so much to like about this wacky ride across Lake Victoria.
(44:03):
In his Movie.com review, Dave Scott called it the Citizen Kane of Killer Piranha movies.
Okay, well, first off, to my knowledge, there are only five films in that narrow category, and the 78 film is still the best.
Still, today's version is at least the godfather of Killer Piranha movies.
Come for the camp, stay for the... well, the camp, but it's an enjoyable 90 minutes.
(44:25):
You know, when Piranha hit theaters, Steven Spielberg himself called it the best Jaws ripoff he'd ever seen.
And honestly, that's high praise, considering how many shameless knockoffs followed.
If you want to taste a pure schlock, check out the Italian film Great White.
It's essentially a mashup of Jaws and Jaws 2, with worse acting, worse writing, and somehow even worse special effects.
(44:47):
I mean, I love Jaws, but that shark.
But one of the boldest Jaws ripoffs came a year later, and it's not even set in the water.
This one takes the terror to dry land, but still hits all the same beats.
While Jaws had Sheriff Brody, this film gives us part Ranger Michael Kelly, same authority figure, similar uniform, and even some mythological symbolism, if you want to get all Roland Barthes about it.
(45:09):
And okay, yes, I'm going to mention it again.
I'll be covering this in my talk on February 15th at the Florence Lauderdale Public Library.
You know I had to slip that in one more time.
But next week's episode has me so excited, I can barely contain myself.
I know, I know, terrible pun.
I'll show myself out.
But not before I tell you that we'll be talking about the rip roaring good time that is 1976's Grizzly.
(45:33):
The film is streaming on Prime, so you've got no excuse not to take a cinematic stroll through this Ursine infested park.
If you check it out, or you just want to mock my love for killer fish movies, email me at steven at ShelfCriticism.com, and that's Steven with a P-H, or find us on social media at ShelfCriticism.
And don't forget about my other podcast, Real Lit, where I'm joined by the Splendiferous McKenzie.
(45:57):
Our January episode is coming up soon.
We'll be looking at Gene Reese's novel and both the 1995 and 2008 film adaptations Wide Sargasso Sea.
If you've seen that film, love it. Love Jane Eyre. Love Gene Reese, as we all do.
Want to talk about the NC-17 rating and why the heck that film got it?
I mean, it's saucy, but it's not that saucy, is it? Or am I just completely immune to all this?
(46:23):
Again, I blame the French literature. Either way, anything you want to talk about, just say hi.
Tell us you're coming to the Florence Lauderdale Public Library on February 15th.
Send us an email as well. Our email address is reallit at reallitpodcast.
You can also find us on social media at reallitpodcast or visit our official website, reallitpodcast.com.
(46:45):
Just remember that's R-E-E-L, as in a film reel.
Now, as promised, I'm going to shut up right after I remind you.
Until next time, DVD aficionados, remember to treat yourself to a little shelf indulgence of your own.
Amelia, sing us home.
Chelf criticism is an owls of palace production.
(47:17):
This podcast is in no way connected with the educational institutions the host is employed by.
The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the host and do not necessarily reflect the views of any other organisation with which he is affiliated.
Most images displayed are public domain.
Images and stills from films, descriptions of scenes and passages from books are used for educational and critical purposes and not for profit and therefore fall under the terms of fair use.
(47:54):
Nice horn.
Thanks.
Nice boobs.
Thanks.
Who are you waiting for?
My brother Jake.
He's 17.
I like your boobs too.
I all do.
Can you do this?
(00:01):
Better believe it. I don't pole dance for nothing.
You have a lot of explaining to do.
(00:24):
Welcome to Shelf Criticism.
Meet your host, Stephen, a scholar of literature and film by day.
And by night, a cinematic archaeologist with a penchant for everything from
art house to popular to outright trash cinema.
Over the past quarter century, Stephen has amassed an eclectic DVD collection,
now occupying five shells of a Curia cabinet in his living room.
(00:47):
Each week, he bravely selects one of these titles to dissect.
Join him as he unearths everything from obscure gems to cinematic missteps.
From blockbuster hits to forgotten flops, each film gets the critical once over
it probably doesn't deserve but will absolutely receive.
So grab your popcorn and settle in.
It's time to dive into the diverse world of Shelf Criticism.
(01:17):
Welcome to Shelf Criticism.
We're skimming along through season two, reshelving my collection at a seeming
breakneck pace.
For those of you who are new to this podcast, first of all, welcome.
Second, I hope you like animal horror cinema.
See, in academia we sometimes find ourselves going down some oddly specific
niche areas of study.
As a literary scholar who all too often turns his back on books in favor of film,
(01:40):
it's not like there's all that much left to say about Shakespeare or the
Hollywood Renaissance or what have you.
Of course, some clever folks can still find something groundbreaking to mine from
such texts, but I'm just not that clever.
So I branch out to unexplored or at least only lightly explored territory.
There are a small handful of other scholars studying the same material, the
closest to my knowledge to me, all the way out in Aurora, Colorado, and for some
(02:05):
reason animal horror cinema is a big deal in Sweden.
Who knew?
Either way, here I am, the resident animal attack fiction expert in these parts,
working on a monograph that no one asks for, occasionally presenting, publishing,
or speaking on the topic when I have a proposal accepted or, in my current case,
I'm invited to speak.
You see, Saturday, February 15th at 2 p.m., my co-host of my other podcast,
(02:28):
Mackenzie and I, will be speaking at the Florence Lauderdale Public Library in
preparation for this year's annual George Lindsay UNA Film Festival.
This year there will be a focus on costuming.
Thus, Mackenzie will be presenting threads of fantasy, setting the scene for
fantasy and folklore cinema.
Keeping the synchronicity, my talk is called Threads of Authority, the County
Brownie uniform in animal horror cinema.
(02:51):
I tell you this story not only to encourage you all to mark your calendars,
it's going to be an afternoon of laughs, analysis, and dad jokes, of course, but
also to set up the next few episodes of this podcast.
There are surprisingly a whole lot of films in this subgenre that contain a
county sheriff or a similarly uniformed park ranger, so I have a whole stack of
films to sift through.
To top it off, I have this day job thing where they expect me to like, you know,
(03:14):
teach and grade essays and advise.
I know, I know, how dare they?
But I have to be careful about saying anything about killing the proverbial
birds with one stone, not when covering Revenge of Nature films, but if I am
going to keep a weekly episode of this podcast, I am going to have to do double
duty, thus leading up to our eagerly anticipated library talk that will
(03:35):
undoubtedly draw people from our town and many nearby counties and states.
It's going to be that good, y'all.
The episodes of Shelf Criticism will feature animal attacks, specifically
ones that involve a character wearing the county brownie, though I don't plan
on harping on that point in these episodes.
Now, if you're really curious about what that uniform has to do with Barth's
mythological semiotics or Clover's concept of the final girl, you're just going
(03:58):
to have to swing on by the good old FLPL next month.
There is plenty more in today's film to plumb the depths of anyway.
It's a remake that diverges down a different path than its predecessor.
It's directed by a renowned French director known for his tension, you'll see
what I did there in a minute, and blood and gore.
So it has to be a serious romp, right?
It played in theaters in 3D, though watching it on the small screen doesn't
(04:21):
quite yield the same results.
There is a copious amount of skin on screen, so it is certainly not a film you
want to watch with your grandparents.
So get out your swimsuits, slather on your sunscreen, and hop on the wild,
wild girl's boat.
There's nothing dangerous lurking below the surface, promise.
Today we're taking a bite out of Alexandra Ajah's 2010 3D remake of Piranha.
(04:43):
Beginning with my shelf pick, we'll take a look at the DVD.
I have the 2011 Blu-ray issue of this film.
The front cover has a woman in a bikini casually lounging on a float in the
middle of the water, her hand dipped below the surface as she suns herself.
Above her in red text reads, from the director of The Hills Have Eyes and the
producer of 300.
I did not know he produced 300 until I read that actually.
(05:05):
Below her, the text menacingly reads, there's something in the water.
The water incidentally gets murkier and darker the lower we go down the case.
At about dead center we get the title, Piranha, again in red letters, all caps.
Then back to a bluish-gray hue before we're treated to a critics quote,
it's jaws gone wild.
Oh, in Gleiberman Entertainment Weekly.
I don't know if it's Gleiberman or Gleiberman, but I'm going by the German
(05:28):
pronunciation, which would be Gleiberman.
Then beneath this, we see the open fanged jaws of several of the fish,
partially obscured by the darkness of the depths, but unmistakably there.
On the back we have another quote, this movie is a complete blast.
Run, don't walk, says Christy LaMire of the Associated Press.
Beneath this we have a photo of a woman's back submerged in water, bare aside
(05:50):
from a pair of red bikini bottoms.
Though we can't see above the small of her back, we know she's topless, because
the bikini top is floating down to the bottom on her left side.
And of course there's an entire school of the carnivorous fish swimming towards her
menacingly.
Our synopsis reads, From director Alexandre Aja, The Hills Have Eyes,
comes the sexy new action thriller Piranha.
Every year the population of sleepy Lake Victoria explodes from 5,000 to 50,000
(06:15):
for spring break, a riot of sun and drunken fun.
But this year there's something more to worry about than hangovers and complaints
from local old timers.
A new type of terror is about to cut loose on Lake Victoria.
After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating
fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from
(06:36):
becoming fish food for the area's new razor-toothed residents.
This film stars Jessica Zor, TV's Gossip Girl, Stephen R. McQueen, TV's The
Vampire Diaries, Elizabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott,
Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Lloyd, and Kelly Brooke.
Beneath this is a red band that gives us the special features, Filmmakers
(06:57):
commentary, deleted scenes with optional commentary, 10 behind-the-scenes
featurettes, and deleted storyboard sequences.
Beneath that we have a strip of four pictures that are scenes from the film.
Zor's Kelly up on the counter avoiding the rising water of the sinking boat.
I might also mention there is a righteous Dutch angle going on, which is actually
logical in this case because the boat is capsizing and tilting in one direction.
(07:21):
O'Connell's Derek Jones in the water frantically reaching up for help on the
next picture.
Then Shue's Cheryl Foster, Scott's Novak, and a deputy on the boat reaching down
to help the partiers who are being devoured up to safety.
And lastly, Rhames' deputy Fallon when he goes medieval in the piranhas, grabbing
the motor of the boat and using the propeller to do some major damage.
(07:43):
Love that scene.
Honestly, this might be the best cover copy I've seen since starting this
podcast.
No grammatical issues.
I mean, I wish they'd italicized film and TV titles instead of just throwing
them in quotes, but that's a losing battle I'm fighting.
Otherwise, there's nothing misleading at least.
If anything, despite teasing a bit of skin and eroticism, the cover doesn't hint
at just how libidinous this film really is.
(08:06):
It's been a while since we've talked about nudity on this podcast, but that
streak ends today.
But first, let's talk about how I came to own it.
When I discussed Rogue, I mentioned that I was once asked to be a guest on the
Buddies with Film Degrees YouTube channel to talk about the Idris Elba film
Beast, which also dealt with lion attacks.
As that channel, which by the way, I highly recommend you subscribe to and
(08:27):
enjoy as well.
It has an even more screwball off the wall tone than my podcast.
They gave my credentials as professional animal attacker, and that did give me a
chuckle, but it's misleading at best.
Still, it's amusing, and I sometimes use it myself for funsies.
Well, I wasn't always a professional animal attacker.
I didn't start this line of research until 2016, over half a decade after Piranha
(08:51):
3D hit theaters.
But I still loved bad horror movies, as did my wife, and I was already familiar
with the original 1978 Roger Corman produced film.
As I've said before, my wife too had a penchant for campy horror comedy, so of
course we found ourselves sitting in a theater with 3D glasses on our heads
laughing and taking it all in.
I remember at least once after its theatrical run, my wife and I sitting
(09:12):
down and rewatching it on one of the premium networks, and we laughed and
relived some of the more hammy moments.
At some point it wound up as a fixture on our DVR, one of the selections with
the stipulation not to delete, even if the hard drive got full, which it did
often, mostly from her recording every rerun of Dr. Phil and Syndication.
Hey, the two of us agreed on a lot of entertainment for our viewing pleasure,
(09:35):
but not all of it.
Speaking of which, I also recall that we watched the 1978 version together.
A version I insisted was the superior of the two, but she vehemently disagreed
with that take.
The DVD, however, found its way to my shelf around 2021.
A proposal I'd made for an academic conference, and this one was virtual
because the world was still partially shut down from COVID, had been accepted.
(09:57):
The title was Redfish, Bluefish, the disappearing ecological message of the
Piranha reboot.
In preparation for this, I ordered the original Piranha, the original sequel,
Piranha 2, The Spawning, though why the heck does this exist TV movie remake
from 1995?
I think the first appearance of Mila Kunis, which is the only remarkable
thing about that film.
(10:18):
Also, of course, the 2010 remake under consideration today was ordered, as
was its sequel, titled, I kid you not, Piranha 3DD.
Never say I'm not thorough.
And also be forewarned that more Piranha-related content could spawn itself
at any moment on this podcast, as I have four of the DVDs I could cover.
I will also offer this word of caution.
(10:39):
The presentation I gave at that conference was relegated to 20 minutes, and I
actually talked for almost 30, but I still had to cut a lot.
How much, you ask?
Well, I always just write and let myself go crazy for a first draft, and then I
go back and cut later.
So when I timed my first go-round on this particular presentation, it was
nearly an hour and 15 minutes.
(11:00):
And guess what?
A lot of what I had to cut may just resurface on this episode.
So forgive me if I get a little bit more academic than usual.
Speaking of the pros, let's go into critical reception.
You know how I said several episodes back that I was just going to stop
speculating what the critics had to say about any given film?
Well, that truly is a best practice.
Rotten Tomatoes gives this film a 75% on the Toma...
(11:23):
I always want to say Tomatometer, the Tomatometer, I'm assuming it is.
Metacritic is less congratulatory, ranking it at a 53.
Still, that weighted score just means the critics saw some flaws, but
overall thought the film wasn't bad.
There's a very small window of those surveyed who found it overwhelmingly
negative.
The moviegoers are far less kind.
The popcorn meter on RT ranks it at 45%.
(11:44):
While Metacritic's user rating does slightly elevate its estimation at a 5.3.
For the critical review, I'm going with Betsy Sharkey.
And I swear I didn't choose her just for her tangentially relevant last name.
Her publication is in the LA Times.
It's a mostly negative review, which bears the exceptionally clever title of
movie review colon Piranha3D.
Incidentally, I'm not throwing any shade at Sharkey.
(12:06):
Titles are usually an editor's choice.
And I just want to say up front that while this is the first review I've read
from this critic, and while I'm going to disagree with her a bit, it is
incredibly well written.
This woman can turn a phrase, and just reading her prose was a true delight.
That said, let's get these disagreements going.
She writes, Piranha3D, the film that asks you to question, how do you like
(12:29):
your human's fillade and answers, in large numbers please, is trying so hard
for the laughs and the allusions amid all the gore and endless blood bath of
bare naked ladies that it completely forgets to frighten anyone.
And seriously, though it's impossible to be serious about a film like this,
the top priority for any horror movie maker, even when the tongue is placed
firmly in cheek, should be building a better scare factor rather than
(12:52):
figuring out how many 3D boobs can be captured in a single frame.
Ah, but bodies and body parts, ripped, shredded, chewed, and in the case of
a particularly significant male body part, spit out in all its 3D glory,
are really what this Jaws and Piranha3D horror parody is all about.
You see what I mean? It's good writing.
(13:13):
Such a nice flow, smooth, liquid prose, clever turns of phrase.
There's a musicality there that you just can't teach.
But regardless of topic, there are certain people who were just born to
compose the written word, and I guess Sharky's just one of them.
Kudos.
Let's start with our initial claims. Is this a scary film?
I mean, there are moments. I know Ajay as a director quite well by this point.
(13:37):
Matter of fact, during the previous season of Shelf Criticism,
back when we were doing our October run of Halloween fun,
I covered another film he helmed, Mirrors.
I didn't like it as much as I thought I had on first viewing,
though the scares and terror were somewhat present.
I'd only seen his Hills Have Eyes remake once, but I did not like that one at all.
Then there's the French film that made his reputation.
The French language haute tension, or something along those lines.
(14:00):
High tension is how we translate it here.
We uncultured American swine who can't speak French.
That film, while having a questionable twist at the end,
one that is effective for a shock but maybe doesn't hold up so well under post-viewing scrutiny,
the film is at least well executed. Let's just say that.
And then there's 2019's Crawl, which I do like.
It's another entry in the animal horror cinema,
(14:22):
and in many ways the polar opposite of Piranha.
It doesn't go for the spectacle of 3D.
It doesn't feature any nudity, much less of the gratuitous nature.
It isn't campy or self-aware.
And even if it breaks no new ground in the genre,
it's 90 minutes of bare-knuckle suspense
as we watch Haley and her father try to survive the battering of a hurricane
while bloodthirsty gators invade their ever-flooding house.
(14:45):
Yet the constant in all these films, whether I thought they worked or didn't,
is the fact that they are all suspenseful, even scary.
Aja may sometimes tease us with fake jump scares
or a cacophonous orchestral stinger to elicit a cheap startle,
but he has a way of curating an atmosphere of suspense that very few like him are able to do.
And I would argue there are a few isolated moments where Piranha is also able to accomplish this,
(15:07):
but I would agree with Sharkey that those moments are much more sporadic
than any of Aja's other output, prior or subsequent.
The tone of this film, however, is just simply different.
Aja leans heavier into the lasciviousness of the story, but effective or not,
I think that naughtiness plays a significant role in what the film is going for.
So let's talk those 3D boobs and body parts for a second, to use Sharkey's phrasing,
(15:31):
and all in an academic detached manner, which reminds me to toss out the disclaimer.
While this podcast and all Alza Palace productions strive to maintain a clean rating
free of any explicit content, we also do not shy away from discussing
some potentially offensive content raised by the media under discussion.
As we continue, discussions of nudity, sexuality, and graphic violence will be broached,
(15:53):
thus listener discretion is advised.
So that out of the way. It's clear to me this film, while ostensibly marketed as a horror,
or at least horror comedy, has a main focus of doing something other than merely creating those jumps
that send popcorn flying into the air.
Without getting too deep into the original 1978 film, since it's on my DVD shelf as well,
and one I do intend to cover at some point on this podcast,
(16:16):
suffice it to say that that film was campy, violent, fun, but it also had a clear message behind it.
Now while I'm no fan of self-citation, as it feels self-congratulatory and self-aggrandizing,
it is better than self-plagiarism.
So allow me to remark that some of what I'm about to say was part of that aforementioned presentation
that I delivered at the 2021 Acida Conference on the symbolic imagination.
(16:39):
Since I did that on this podcast, is it also shelf citation? Sorry, couldn't resist.
Where was I? Oh yeah.
The 1978 film, incidentally directed by Joe Dante of Gremlin's fame,
had a barely masked underlying ecological message.
As these piranhas were genetically altered with the plans to be released into the waterways controlled by the Viet Cong,
(17:02):
only to be stored away in a mountain reservoir as the war had ended before they could be deployed,
the film delivered a stern rebuke to the military industrial complex.
Specifically, it alluded to the environmental damage the United States did to Vietnam during the conflict.
Widespread use of chemical defoliants like Agent Orange, which destroyed vast areas of forest,
impacting biodiversity and causing long-term soil contamination,
(17:25):
affected both wildlife and human populations through exposure to dioxins.
This included damage to mangrove forests along the coast, significantly altering the ecosystem.
And if you're really interested in all that historical information and how the film evokes it,
just send me an email and I'll be happy to send you a copy of my notes for that presentation.
I might even get into a little bit of the ideas when I do eventually get around to covering that DVD.
(17:47):
But today's focus is on the 2010 remake, so let me circle back around to that.
My presentation delved into the aforementioned reading,
also noting that the titular aquatic aggressors in the 2010 film were simply prehistoric vestiges,
surviving trapped in an underwater cave that was sealed until freed by an earthquake.
Not the slightest suggestion of anthropogenic meddling causes this catastrophe.
(18:10):
It's just simply nature being cold, uncaring nature.
By the way, check out my discussion of themes of nihilism and naturalism in my episode on Eatin' Alive
if you want to explore that idea further.
Man, I'm just with the shameless plugs today, aren't I?
Going with a full-blown new historicism approach for my presentation,
I argued that upon the 1978 film's release, environmentalism wasn't a partisan issue.
(18:33):
Both sides were concerned with conservation.
Heck, it was President Nixon who signed the EPA into existence and declared the first Earth Day.
However, somewhere in the late 80s, early 90s onward, gradually and deliberately,
there was a push to make anything environmentally focused seem like a far-left, hippie-dippie idea,
with the right becoming recalcitrant to any efforts to alleviate climate change or preserve the ecosystem.
(18:56):
Thus, I argued the 2010 release avoided this potentially divisive topic.
Republicans, after all, buy movie tickets, too.
That's not to say this film doesn't also try to have some sort of message,
one touching on another topic closer to the cultural zeitgeist, though perhaps coming a few years too late.
Incidentally, some of what I am going to say here was cut from my presentation due to time constraints.
(19:17):
As such, I focused almost solely on the 1978 film and its message,
mostly noting the remake just abandoned the ecological message.
But a large portion of the plot in Ajay's remake deals with sleazeball Derek Jones, played by Jerry O'Connell.
He's founder, producer, even part-time cameraman for Wild Wild Girls.
This organization goes to crazy hotspots for spring break, mingling with the drunken revelers
(19:41):
with the explicit purpose of talking them into exposing themselves for the camera,
presumably to be marketed and sold later as DVDs or other forms of visual consumption.
Now, if that sounds familiar, particularly to folks around my age,
that's because it is a deliberate parody of Girls Gone Wild.
See, the name is even really, really close.
Girls Gone Wild was founded by a man named Derek J.
(20:02):
No, I mean, Joe Francis.
They went to wild hotspots for spring break, mingling with, yeah, you get the similarities.
From a span of the late 90s to the early aughts,
if you happen to be bitten by the insomnia bug and were flipping around late night TV,
there is no way you weren't privy to infomercials of Francis peddling his smut.
In 2003, for instance, according to Vegas Inc Magazine,
(20:26):
Girls Gone Wild spent over $21 million in advertising.
Heck, they practically kept E, BET, and Comedy Central in the air.
Francis and his crew would find those revelers and encourage them to show some skin for the camera
in exchange for sometimes cash, but often trinkets even less enticing,
such as just ball caps or t-shirts.
Still, folks do tend to make poor decisions when under the influence.
(20:48):
And bear in mind, this was before the ubiquity of the internet
or everyone having a camera on their phone, or even having a phone in their pocket for that matter.
No one was really thinking about the potential long-term deleterious effects
of risque behavior caught on camera.
And this was around the same time, I should say, that I started making trips
numerous times a year to New Orleans.
Once famous for the beads for boobs bartering,
(21:10):
this didn't just take place during Mardi Gras or spring break.
I mean, you could walk down Bourbon Street on a Tuesday afternoon in September and see this happen.
So Girls Gone Wild took its cues from this idea.
Many of their DVD releases taking place on said fabled street during the fabled Mardi Gras season.
Again, as this company began producing content in 97, my freshman year of college,
I do know more than one woman who appeared in a montage of Francis produced films.
(21:35):
Living in Alabama, we took a lot of trips to New Orleans, particularly as college students.
That was our spring break spot, not Florida.
And I will also say that as someone who tries his best not to pass judgment,
and certainly someone who is far from uptight,
every woman that I do know who's done this has told me they regret that decision,
just for what it's worth.
The Girls Gone Wild franchise would peak around 2005 or 2006
(21:56):
when Snoop Dogg made an appearance on one of their videos.
Warning! This video contains explicit material not suitable for children.
If you think Girls Gone Wild was wild before,
just wait until you see what these girls do when Snoop Dogg is unleashed and takes control of the camera.
It's not sold in stores and can't be shown on TV,
so call now and get the all-new Girls Gone Wild Doggy Style,
hosted by Snoop Dogg, yours on video or DVD for just $9.99.
I know, it's hard to believe the fellow we now jokingly think of as America's uncle
(22:20):
was once far less than urbuncular.
Then again, go back and listen to Doggy Style.
How soon we forget.
It is perhaps worth noting that his appearance was in conjunction with a charitable promotion,
with all proceeds going to aid with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
Hey, at least Francis gave back to the city that had made him a multimillionaire
with its raucous annual celebration.
And some of that may have been a Hail Mary to try and whitewash his image.
(22:44):
By that point, Francis was embroiled in dozens of legal scandals,
from deceptive marketing practices that made consumers think they were buying a single DVD
only to lock them into a subscription,
to numerous women suing to have themselves removed from the footage, claiming they were also deluded.
As increasingly more dirt was unearthed on Francis,
the already sleazy reputation of himself and his company became further besmirched,
(23:07):
culminating in the company filing for bankruptcy in 2013 and Francis serving a year in prison.
And I won't go into all the details, but I will say there's a three-part documentary
called Girls Gone Wild, The Untold Story.
It's available on Peacock, and if you're interested,
just let them dish on the litany of questionable to downright illegal deeds
that were performed under the banner of GGW.
Thus, what Sharkey highlights in her critique.
(23:30):
Remember Sharkey? Yeah, I know, we've made quite a detour here,
but we are talking about the critique, and it is all relevant.
Rather than settling for a simple gorefest,
Piranha 3D parodies and critiques the culture that enabled someone like Joe Francis to become rich.
Like the Piranhas providing the film scares,
that culture spawned a swarm of imitators preying on female partygoers.
While some critics have branded this film misogynistic,
(23:53):
claiming it revels in violence against women, like, let's face it, so many horror films do,
I think this is a deliberate, symbolic choice.
Many of the film's grotesque scenes linger on the Piranhas devouring these scantily clad,
or sometimes entirely naked women, but this mirrors the on-screen exploitation of Derek Jones
and Wild Wild Girls, much like Francis in Girls Gone Wild.
(24:14):
The film doesn't just depict exploitation, however, it also implicates us in it.
Like Jones' camera, the film invites us to feast, metaphorically with our eyes,
on these exposed bodies, forcing us to confront the very culture it satirizes.
Now that doesn't make this film the second coming of Betty Friedan, however.
It's another one of those films that wants to, as the cliché goes, have its cake and eat it too.
(24:36):
Or, perhaps in this case, have its commentary and exploitation too.
Like so many films who push the implications of our voyeuristic tendencies,
be they salacious desire for gore or nudity, they do so focusing and lingering on those very elements.
Piranha is paradoxically a scathing indictment of our bloodthirsty and lubricious desires,
while also catering to and immersing us in those very same vices.
(25:00):
The film's relentless displays of skin and violence are necessary to make its parody clear,
but their sheer frequency forces us to both confront and indulge the very excesses that it mocks.
Speaking of indulgences, thank you for allowing me to go down that path.
I've been sitting on that since having to cut it from that presentation in 2021.
It feels good to free that little tidbit from my file folder that I call the Isle of Misfit commentary.
(25:24):
Perhaps we should go back to our critique. Remember that?
Sharky continues, now forgive me if I don't get all this science right,
but basically these bad boys, that's the Piranha, are the scary dino version of our modern day nibblers,
which essentially means they are even uglier and angrier and remarkably precise.
They can, for instance, remove a bikini top without drawing blood, though they do invariably go back for the kill.
(25:47):
There's nothing I can say here to add anything. It's punchy, it's hilarious,
and I'm making a mental note here to go back and read everything this woman has ever written.
I may have found a worthy inheritor to the rhetorical craftsmanship of Pauline Kael and Roger Ebert.
As a matter of fact, why don't I just read a few more snippets of Sharky's snarky prose?
Our central good kid is Jake, the sheriff's oldest son, played by Stephen McQueen, grandson of the late great.
(26:11):
Gossip Girl's Jessica Zor plays Kelly, the hometown girl he pines for.
Most of the rest of the cast comes with descriptions rather than names.
There's Drunk Kid, Drunk Dumb Jock, Drunk Laughing Jock, Girl Cut in Half, and my personal favorite, Propeller Girl.
So two quick notes here. One, y'all know how much I love it when a film gives actors crazy credits.
(26:34):
And yeah, Propeller Girl? Stop. I love it.
Two, when I first saw our lead was Stephen R. McQueen, my first thought was, Lord, not another.
Of course, there is the director, Stephen McQueen, who helmed such great flicks as Widows and Twelve Years a Slave.
Then there is the legend, the, to borrow a phrase from Drive by Truckers,
(26:56):
coolest doggone mother scratcher on the silver screen.
And like Truckers frontman Patterson Hood, there was a time I could say Bullet was my favorite movie I'd ever seen.
Though I, unlike him, did not total my go-kart, trying to imitate that chase scene.
That must thing had six hood cats know what I mean. And I love the way they all flew off and let it in everything.
(27:19):
Stephen McQueen, Stephen McQueen, I was a little boy I wanted to grow.
Well, it turns out Stephen R. McQueen is actually the grandson of that doggone mother scratcher.
I won't say I was blown away by his performance. Wasn't bad. Wasn't great.
But the fact that a quarter of his DNA comes from THE Steve McQueen, well that alone skyrocketed him in my estimation.
(27:44):
Grandson McQueen, your proximity to greatness makes you cool by default.
I bet you could slip behind the wheel of a 68 Mustang GT390 Fastback and just tear through the streets of San Francisco on instinct alone.
Those who know, know. You get that digression.
Anyway, Sharky continues. As to the actual story, well, there's a lake packed with drunk, see above,
(28:06):
hotties and bikinis. They're forever taking off. There are big piranha packs swarming.
A few scientists stop by to throw in lines like you're not going to believe this.
A few law enforcement types scream, get out of the water now.
Mayhem everywhere. Enough that the fake blood and severed limb budget was probably the film's biggest expenditure.
I tried describing the gore, but words just can't do justice to the damage a massive Mesozoic underbite and the occasional outboard motor can do.
(28:35):
Honestly, I have nothing to add or take issue with here. I just wanted to read that because it's so well written.
Mesozoic underbite? Zing?
I suppose I could simply remark that while Sharky seems to be presenting the over-the-top violence as a negative, we all know how I feel.
She concludes her review by saying, though there are many laughs, Piranha3D never reaches the smart observational satire of, say, scream,
(28:58):
and it goes seriously overboard on the gore. The upside? You'll never be afraid to go into the water again.
Alright, well, reviewing the review, it does lose some steam there at the end, but to be fair, it's hard to keep up that level of clever for a full film critique.
At least she does end with turning the famous Jaws tagline on its head.
I'm not sure how much this film is attempting to be a meta commentary, though.
(29:19):
I mean, sure, there's some of the aforementioned scopophilic lingering on boobs and blood, but I don't think it's fair to compare it to a film like Scream.
It's not trying to do the same thing.
Besides, even when meta films are done fairly well, like Cherry Falls, Funny Games, Behind the Mask, even the clear runner-up to the Scream franchise, Cabin in the Woods,
none of it can quite hit the same level as the one who set the bar in the first place.
(29:42):
Piranha is a hilariously funny movie in places. At no point does it stop being fun.
It bays in its excesses and I suppose either endears it to you or reviles you to it.
I'm the former, while Betsy Sharkey, apparently, is the latter. Not a problem. Agree to disagree.
While what Sharkey sees as shortcomings are mostly strengths in my eyes, that's not to say Piranha 3D is not without its faults.
(30:06):
While what Sharkey sees as shortcomings are mostly strengths in my eyes, that's not to say Piranha 3D is without its faults.
Moving into my take, let's wade into some of the deeper waters and talk about where this film starts to sink.
So for a few years before Piranha's release, 3D was making a comeback in theaters, now with the technology much improved.
However, it wasn't until the previous year's Avatar began making waves that it seemed everyone had jumped on the bandwagon.
(30:31):
And horror is a genre particularly suited for the medium. Going all the way back to the 50s with its limited technology,
filmmakers have treated us to a depth of field experience for a long time.
The year before gave us the My Bloody Valentine remake.
SAW 3D appeared the same year, and like Piranha 3D, this did not denote the third entry into the series.
Though, confusingly, this was actually the seventh SAW film.
(30:52):
Of course, we might be primed to think that because Jaws 3 was also in 3D and was called Jaws 3D.
You know, even the aforementioned Cabin in the Woods got a 3D release.
Unlike many 3D films, though, Piranha was filmed in 2D and converted in post-production.
This doesn't necessarily make for a bad film.
I mean, Marvel films like Thor and Captain America the First Avenger, as well as some of the Harry Potter franchise, were also given the same treatment.
(31:16):
However, as this new trend became popular, let's face it, not in the least due to the elevated ticket prices that kept the box office inflated as compared to 2D,
many of the films that were shot were not expecting that added feature, and this showed on screen.
Regardless of its road there, though, Piranha was always envisioned as a 3D film.
Due to some of the requirements, such as shooting underwater, it simply wasn't financially feasible to begin in 3D.
(31:40):
It's estimated that the studio saved over a million dollars by going down this road.
Now, I do remember the experience in theaters.
In the opening sequence where the fisherman Matt drops the empty beer bottle and we watch it slowly sink to the bottom while the seaweed behind it waves, wisps significantly, yeah, that felt authentic.
And speaking of the relentless TNA, it was also framed for 3D, and the film revels in that as much as anything else.
(32:03):
Boobies in 3D. Remember the famous or infamous underwater scene?
Two of the wild, wild girls are swimming below the surface wearing nothing but swim fins and being filmed through the glass bottom of the boat.
At one point, the cameraman Andrew sophomorically remarks, they're like fish with boobies.
It's a sequence that goes on too long, way too long.
(32:26):
But prurience aside, it is gorgeous just the way it was shot. The angles, the rays of sun penetrating the water, their motion so fluid and poetic.
Seeing that in 3D makes it visually stunning.
Only watching it on my own television, especially a larger sized one, it looks blurry and artificial, almost like bad CGI rendering.
So do the fish in a lot of places, most notably when they're devouring a person.
(32:50):
In short, and this is unfair critique I suppose because it's not meant to be seen this way, but the film does suffer while being viewed only in 2D.
There are some plot holes that are obvious and bothersome.
The most egregious comes from the complete disappearance of the aforementioned Andrew, played by the character actor Paul Scheer.
Ajay himself said in an interview that they had a death scene written and storyboarded for the ill-fated camera operator, but budgetary restrictions forced them to eschew shooting it.
(33:15):
I understand that films often shoot scenes out of order, so when Jake, Kelly, Laura, and Zane, and almost Danny, but you can't be both a wild, wild girl and a final girl.
When they're saved, the filmmakers may have thought later that the scene where Andrew meets his maker was still going to be filmed.
I also get that if it was way too expensive to film his death scene, that going back and doing a reshoot of that scene would have been too big a price tag, I'm sure.
(33:39):
Still, it just never ceases to baffle me when studios just carelessly drop threads and think moviegoers will be none the wiser.
Then again, maybe not everyone watches films as close as I do. I wonder how many viewers just forgot about this character.
Incidentally, Scheer reprises the role of Andrew in the sequel, yet again titled Piranha 3 Double D.
I'm guessing they throw out some explanation out there of where he was, maybe even make a meta-end joke.
(34:01):
I don't know. I mean, I have seen the sequel, but only once, and that was a long time ago.
And I guess I am doing a rewatch of that one too, which is moderately terrifying at this point.
After Christmas Vacation 2, I have sequel phobia.
But even with blurry fish and vanishing characters, the cast of Piranha 3D brings their own bite to the chaos.
Let's take a look at who made the biggest splash in standout performance.
(34:24):
The film is camp, which always makes it hard to pick a winner here.
Almost everyone in it seems they're overacting, hamming it up, chewing on scenery.
I know that's a cliche I use often, but in a film about piranhas, it does kind of seem to fit the motif.
Case in point, Jerry O'Connell as Derek Jones.
So sleazy, so greedy, so self-absorbed, so geeked up on blow that you can practically smell the testosterone and Axe body spray oozing through the television.
(34:50):
Likewise, in a small but memorable role, Christopher Lloyd as the resident ichthyologist gives off nutty professor and mad scientist vibes all at once.
But it's perhaps a bit too close to Doc Brown to really make him stand out.
As a seismologist sent to Lake Victoria to investigate the earthquake, only to realize the town is crawling with scantily clad spring breakers,
Ricardo Chavira's near whiplash-inducing rubbernecking at all the cleavage and thongs is certainly amusing.
(35:15):
But his role is barely longer than a cameo. He's fish food pretty quickly.
It is, however, kind of cool that last episode I talked about Eva Longoria a good bit, and now we're mentioning her TV husband from Desperate Housewives, Carlos.
Speaking of cameos, Eli Roth is the announcer for the wet t-shirt contest.
Just, if you've seen it, you know. If you haven't, you'll immediately know when you do see it.
(35:36):
Ving Rhames is as always a commanding presence on the screen.
He's fun to watch as the faithful deputy, and it seems like he's mostly playing it down the middle,
up until the final carnage drench set piece where he goes unhinged and starts to do major damage with the trolling motor.
Of the principal cast, as I remarked before, Stephen R. McQueen is perfectly competent.
Jessica Xhoras Kelly has some dramatic moments, and actually, I think she captures them pretty well.
(36:00):
It's a place where a lot of actors may play it too big, especially in a film that's already soaked in excess, but she's actually pretty good here.
Elizabeth Shue does play the straight man, and she does so quite effectively.
She's a tough, no-nonsense sheriff of the town, and she has to be because of her gender. She finds a way to earn respect.
Officer, it was a mistake.
(36:22):
Can't we just work something out here?
No, mistake or no mistake, you just destroyed public property.
And from the smell of your breath, I suggest you take the ticket, maybe get a ride home with your friends.
Oh, I don't know, I was kind of hoping you might drive me home.
Touching an officer's uniform is considered assault. Were you aware of that?
Come on, you look pretty hot in tan.
(36:44):
It's not tan, it's beige.
Hey, you think you can take it easy on us?
If you boys take one more step, you'll be pissing lightning bolts into next week, okay?
Now we all know Shue can act. She deservedly has a golden statue on her shelf for her role in Leaving Las Vegas.
She was so freaking good in Paul Meadow and Cousin Bet.
If you haven't seen her bonkers role where she plays a crazy version of herself in Hamlet 2, well, just trust me.
(37:09):
That alone is worth watching that film.
I will say, however, that because my current research is looking in particularly to sheriffs in these films,
I may have been watching her too closely this go-round.
And then again, if her performance was able to stand up to even closer scrutiny, that's testament to her acting chops,
even in a silly film like this one.
Nonetheless, you know I like to make a less than obvious choice.
(37:31):
Kelly Brooke plays Dani, the one wild, wild girl you can actually stand.
Like the others, she exudes a sort of raw sensuality.
She's aware of her effect on men and she straight up owns it.
She's unapologetically seductive, yet she's also kind and considerate.
Immediately upon meeting Jake, she's genuinely friendly and nice to him.
The obligatory nerd outcast who everyone else, Kelly also accepted here, treats like crap.
(37:57):
And I know the freakishly handsome McQueen as a social pariah is quite the stretch, but Hollywood logic.
Dani does get so close to making it through this bloodbath and frankly by this point, we're rooting for her.
Her death may hit the hardest in the film for this reason.
Well, her or Rames, who we also assume is eventually overtaken by the fish, but guess who else turns up in the sequel?
(38:20):
So let's give the outstanding performance to Brooke.
In a movie where piranhas aren't the only ones circling their prey, Brooke manages to swim against the current.
She's confident and kind and let's be honest, she deserved better.
Rest in peace, Dani. You deserve to be in the sequel more than Paul Scheer did.
Generally, our next segment is cultural context.
You want more cultural context?
(38:41):
Dude, I've talked at length about the film's predecessor, Joe Francis, the 3D trend.
You already got your cultural context. Let's move on to trivia.
Speaking of cameos, I'm sure you all caught Richard Dreyfuss as the drunk fisherman at the beginning of the film.
You probably even laughed that he's singing Show Me The Way To Go Home to himself.
So yeah, acknowledging that Jaws is this film's granddaddy.
(39:04):
But did you also know he's credited as Matt Boyd, as in let's get as close to Matt Hooper as we can without getting sued?
Dreyfuss being Dreyfuss said in an interview, I don't know anything about piranha other than the work I did on the film.
I worked for two days in the middle of the desert, got my check and then left.
Speaking of other cameos, Christopher Lloyd also has a very brief role.
(39:26):
Lloyd and Shue had worked together, of course, on Back to the Future 2 and 3, where Shue played Jennifer, Marty McFly's girlfriend.
The original actress, Claudia Wells, had taken a hiatus from acting because her mother had been diagnosed with cancer.
Also, speaking of our winner of the ever prestigious Outstanding Performance Award, Kelly Brooke, a Brit, auditioned with an American accent.
(39:47):
But Aja insisted she use her natural brogue, believing it to be more charming.
Also, speaking of Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild founder was adamant that if any overt mentions of Derek Jones being him were made, he would take legal action.
During the promotional interviews upon the film's release, O'Connell literally said on more than one occasion that he played Joe Francis.
(40:08):
After receiving a cease and desist letter from Francis' lawyer, O'Connell said at the next interview, I get to play Joe Francis.
Oh, wait, for legal reasons, I'm supposed to say I play someone loosely based on Joe Francis.
Also, speaking of segues, I've been really lazy on this segment, haven't I?
And also, speaking of lazy segues, it's time to put this darling on a shelf.
(40:31):
So those of you who are new listeners or those who need a refresher, I have five shelves on my DVD Curio, so I simply treat this with a bartender's model.
The best stuff goes on the top shelf, rock gut goes on the bottom shelf, and then we have second shelf, mid shelf, and fourth shelf.
So what to do with this one? I like this film a lot, more than I should.
Honestly, I do find the 78 version far superior, but that doesn't detract from my enjoyment of watching this one.
(40:57):
Yes, it's the film of excess that proudly displays them like the women in the wet t-shirt contest.
No, no, no, let's let's skip that simile.
The film is providing me with a lot of scholarly fodder for my research.
This episode is going to be much longer than most on shelf criticism, and I did get a bit more academic than I usually do.
And I haven't even talked about Elizabeth Shue's costuming or how that County Brownie uniform ties into Roland Barthes concept of mythological semiotics.
(41:25):
I will, however, do that at the Florence Lauderdale Public Library on February 15th at 2 p.m.
You know I was going to get one more shameless plug in there, didn't you?
That said, I also like a lot of trash, and also a film doesn't have to have quality to be studied.
In case you want evidence to support that claim, I've also done scholarly work on the Sharknado franchise.
And speaking of those excesses, sorry, I'll stop now.
(41:48):
But those excesses are what most of those who take a negative view of this film will point out.
For me, they're some of the film's greatest strengths, alongside some solid performances by Shue, Brooke, and a few others.
Now, really, my biggest gripe with this film comes from viewing it in 2D.
At least, I think. You know, like I said, I saw it once in 3D and I remember it vividly, the underwater ballet scene,
(42:09):
because of just how visually impressive it was in 3D, y'all. Not for perverted reasons. Don't pin that on me.
I also remember a few gags that were perhaps cheap, but also fun.
You know, there's a scene where a reveler is shaking the nozzle of beer on a beer keg and it splashes its contents towards the screen,
and it seems like they're going to come right out and soak you, like you'd have to be worried of getting a DUI driving home if you got pulled over because you reeked of booze.
(42:31):
And then there's also the worm's eye, or maybe fish eye, since we're technically in the water view, that Kelly, when she leans over the boat and vomits,
and it makes you think it's about to spill into your lap. And okay, yes, that's kind of gross, but it does keep the film's flip-up tone.
What I don't recall are the scenes of gore, particularly the ones underwater. But viewing them in 2D, they look awful.
(42:54):
I've had much to say about bad CGI before. Rogue, anyone?
And when the fish attack in this movie, it makes that horribly rendered lion in that film look like a living, breathing creature traversing the savanna majestically.
I would honestly like to view this film again in 3D, just to see if those scenes are lacking there as well.
I can't imagine they aren't, if they look this bad on 2D, and that I don't really remember those scenes as being memorable the first time I saw it.
(43:20):
So tack in the plot holes to that and the numerous hiccups and congruity that I didn't even really dwell on, and that's going to affect this shelving tremendously.
Since I'm working off the DVD and not a 3D cut on the big screen, I guess I'm going to shelf it by those merits instead.
Perhaps the 3D iteration would land on the fourth shelf, but for this disc, I'm... I really gave that one away, didn't I? No more suspense.
(43:42):
Totally anti-climactic drum roll.
Drum roll.
It's going on the middle shelf.
Unless you have a strong aversion to some really fake looking carnage, or are just strongly offended by the nude female form, or god awful CGI, there's so much to like about this wacky ride across Lake Victoria.
(44:03):
In his Movie.com review, Dave Scott called it the Citizen Kane of Killer Piranha movies.
Okay, well, first off, to my knowledge, there are only five films in that narrow category, and the 78 film is still the best.
Still, today's version is at least the godfather of Killer Piranha movies.
Come for the camp, stay for the... well, the camp, but it's an enjoyable 90 minutes.
(44:25):
You know, when Piranha hit theaters, Steven Spielberg himself called it the best Jaws ripoff he'd ever seen.
And honestly, that's high praise, considering how many shameless knockoffs followed.
If you want to taste a pure schlock, check out the Italian film Great White.
It's essentially a mashup of Jaws and Jaws 2, with worse acting, worse writing, and somehow even worse special effects.
(44:47):
I mean, I love Jaws, but that shark.
But one of the boldest Jaws ripoffs came a year later, and it's not even set in the water.
This one takes the terror to dry land, but still hits all the same beats.
While Jaws had Sheriff Brody, this film gives us part Ranger Michael Kelly, same authority figure, similar uniform, and even some mythological symbolism, if you want to get all Roland Barthes about it.
(45:09):
And okay, yes, I'm going to mention it again.
I'll be covering this in my talk on February 15th at the Florence Lauderdale Public Library.
You know I had to slip that in one more time.
But next week's episode has me so excited, I can barely contain myself.
I know, I know, terrible pun.
I'll show myself out.
But not before I tell you that we'll be talking about the rip roaring good time that is 1976's Grizzly.
(45:33):
The film is streaming on Prime, so you've got no excuse not to take a cinematic stroll through this Ursine infested park.
If you check it out, or you just want to mock my love for killer fish movies, email me at steven at ShelfCriticism.com, and that's Steven with a P-H, or find us on social media at ShelfCriticism.
And don't forget about my other podcast, Real Lit, where I'm joined by the Splendiferous McKenzie.
(45:57):
Our January episode is coming up soon.
We'll be looking at Gene Reese's novel and both the 1995 and 2008 film adaptations Wide Sargasso Sea.
If you've seen that film, love it. Love Jane Eyre. Love Gene Reese, as we all do.
Want to talk about the NC-17 rating and why the heck that film got it?
I mean, it's saucy, but it's not that saucy, is it? Or am I just completely immune to all this?
(46:23):
Again, I blame the French literature. Either way, anything you want to talk about, just say hi.
Tell us you're coming to the Florence Lauderdale Public Library on February 15th.
Send us an email as well. Our email address is reallit at reallitpodcast.
You can also find us on social media at reallitpodcast or visit our official website, reallitpodcast.com.
(46:45):
Just remember that's R-E-E-L, as in a film reel.
Now, as promised, I'm going to shut up right after I remind you.
Until next time, DVD aficionados, remember to treat yourself to a little shelf indulgence of your own.
Amelia, sing us home.
Chelf criticism is an owls of palace production.
(47:17):
This podcast is in no way connected with the educational institutions the host is employed by.
The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the host and do not necessarily reflect the views of any other organisation with which he is affiliated.
Most images displayed are public domain.
Images and stills from films, descriptions of scenes and passages from books are used for educational and critical purposes and not for profit and therefore fall under the terms of fair use.
(47:54):
Nice horn.
Thanks.
Nice boobs.
Thanks.
Who are you waiting for?
My brother Jake.
He's 17.
I like your boobs too.
I all do.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.