December 10, 2024 • 33 mins
Talk to us, Shero! Talk to us!
Siscover the powerful journey of Nassira Ahamed, a celebrated author, visionary, and coach, who joins us to reveal how women can break free from societal constraints and embrace their true selves. Ever felt undervalued or stuck prioritizing others over your own dreams? Tune in as Nassira unravels the cultural conditioning that often holds women back, sharing her mission to guide them towards recognizing their intrinsic value and capabilities. Through the lens of balance, passion, and authenticity, she encourages women to redefine success and pursue joy in every aspect of life, far beyond financial achievements or job titles.
We'll explore the art of overcoming fear and self-doubt with Nasirra's insights on conscious awareness and mindfulness. Learn how decisive action and belief in one's unique path can transform hesitation into empowerment. Nasirra challenges listeners to make fear a familiar ally, taking small, meaningful steps toward personal growth. She shares heartfelt advice to her younger self about embracing self-worth and honoring one's unique gifts. Join us for this inspiring conversation as we invite you to connect, share, and embark on your own journey toward self-awareness and personal development.
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---Connect with Nasirra R Ahamed, IIM Nagpur, NLP, Spiritual Scientist plus bonus media to get to know her better---
Connect:
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coachnasirra@gmail.com
Nasirra R. Ahamed, founder of The Energy Architect™, empowers individuals to overcome fears, limiting beliefs, and inner child traumas, helping them create lives of clarity, freedom, and fulfillment. With 21+ years of corporate leadership experience, she integrates coaching, NLP, somatic practices, and mindset work to guide clients in reconnecting with their authentic selves. An IIM-Nagpur alumna, Dale Carnegie Certified Facilitator, and #1 International Bestselling Author (Women with Healing Gifts and The Mind Body Connection), Nasirra is also a mentor, speaker, and podcaster.
Recognized as one of India Today’s Top 10 Successful Indian Personalities of 2024 and listed in Mid Day’s Top 10 Inspiring Indian Personalities and Today Magazine’s Top 50 Under 50, Nasirra’s transformative work resonates with those see
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Deborah (00:03):
Hey Debbie,
Debbie (00:04):
hey De
Deborah (00:06):
Hey, I want to tell you I am really excited for today's
podcast interview.
We're going to be well, we'rehere today with Nasirra Ahmed
and I am just so excited aboutwhat she does and what the
ripple that she makes in theworld is just truly amazing.
(00:27):
So let me tell you a little bitabout y'all, Buckle up.
Let me tell you a little bitabout Nasirra.
She is a multiple renowned,number one international best
selling selling author,visionary, founder of a pod and
podcast, host of the energyarchitect, and I want to hear
(00:49):
some more about that and you donot want to miss this.
She is a speaker and a coach forleaders.
Her mission is to guide thosefeeling lost or stuck towards
their authentic selves, and sowhat I mean?
And then she has thecredentials right.
(01:10):
So she has a degree inpsychology and MBA and
entrepreneur management,post-grad work as a senior
certified coach when is my mouth?
Where are my words?
Senior certified coach when ismy mouth?
(01:30):
Where are my words?
And when?
And she's a mom, when do youhave time for all of this?
But not to mention that she has21 years of leadership
experience, as well as aholistic healer, Y'all.
Let me introduce Nasirra Ahamedand Debbie, take it away.
Debbie (01:50):
Nasirra welcome.
Nasirra (01:53):
Thank you so much, Debbie.
Thank you so much, Deborah, forsuch a warm, lovely welcome.
Thank you, it's an honor to behere today and I couldn't find
another reason to be moreexcited.
Thank you.
Debbie (02:11):
Good, we are excited to have you here as well.
You know, there's, I think, ofall the things that I've seen,
what you do, it' it's like yourdesire to make the world a
(02:31):
better place is huge.
So many people are out forthemselves and you know, I don't
mean to disparage anybody formaking money or going after
their dreams.
We should absolutely all dothat.
But I also saw that where youwere like a coach to women that
have like panic attacks and youempower women with resiliency
and help them see their huge andboundless potential, and I was
(02:59):
like how do you help somebodywho is feeling like there is no
hope but yet somehow move themout of that space into some
other space where they begin tosee maybe I can do this?
Would you share a little bitabout that?
Nasirra (03:21):
Yes, yes.
So, debbie, something that Irealized that I've been
extremely passionate about is tohelp people get unstuck,
especially women, who constantlyput themselves second.
What fills me with inspirationis this infinite potential
(03:44):
within every person that I workwith.
So people are so much moredeeper and they are much, much
more resilient and a lot morecapable than they really believe
they are.
So when I see women, the onething I do know is they are so
conditioned to self-sabotagingthemselves and I thought that
(04:12):
you know they need to understandtheir potential and I try and
help them open their eyes andsee their true value.
What I've also seen is, youknow, when people are applying
for jobs for the same job, womendon't think they're capable
enough to apply for the same jobif they don't tick off all of
(04:34):
those aspects, all of thoserequirements, requirements.
But if a man takes off eventhree or four, he believes that
he can, definitely he's perfectfor the job.
Debbie (04:57):
And women.
Even if they leave off two,they think that they can't do it
.
No-transcript.
Nasirra (05:11):
I think to some extent it is cultural and it's also
conditioning.
Women are conditioned to takecare and nurture and nurture
everybody, and they always putthemselves second.
So they also feel guilty.
Now if, at least in India, youwould see women who cook in the
(05:37):
morning, take care of theirentire families, go off to work,
come back and take care oftheir families again and clean
the place, and the man just getsup, gets ready, has breakfast
and leaves, comes back, dinneris ready, and so how will they
(06:01):
feel that they can do completejustice, you know to, to
whatever they are asked to do,because they feel their first
job is to actually nurture them,to take care of their families.
Debbie (06:16):
Yeah, it's not dissimilar here.
I mean not everywhere.
There are some people thatshare duties equally, but there
is a probably overwhelmingpercentage of exactly that
scenario as in well, you couldgo to work if you do all this
other stuff first, and two rightIf you do it also.
(06:40):
So what do you?
What do you?
How do you help this, thesewomen to see something different
, something better, somethingelse?
Nasirra (06:53):
I think it's about balance and really understanding
yourself and your passion To besuccessful.
Markers don't necessarily meanhow much money you earn or the
designation that you have, butit's more about really loving
what you do, because when youlove what you do, it does not
(07:16):
feel like work and you lookforward to it every day.
So I feel the pressure doescome down, and I would really
urge women to explore as to whatreally makes them tick.
What are they really passionateabout?
Debbie (07:33):
right, and maybe not just go to a job to make money,
but find a job that brings themjoy, brings them happiness.
And then there's more desire.
Well, maybe not even desire.
It seems like correct me if I'mwrong, but it seems like when
you're doing what you love,energy just shows up.
(07:54):
When you're doing what you love, energy just shows up, the
energy to get the job done, tobe part of it, to create it, to
whatever it is you're doing.
It seems like you just havemore energy.
Nasirra (08:07):
You know, what's beautiful about this is that
when you are passionate aboutwhat you do, you're being
extremely authentic, becauseyou're not making up something
that you don't feel.
So what also happens in this isthat when you show up
authentically, you are alsoconsistent.
Debbie (08:28):
I love authenticity.
Deborah (08:31):
Absolutely.
Debbie (08:32):
Yeah, it's like Deborah and I do a lot with self-care
and self-love and that bringsyou to a more authentic you.
Right, and um, there are somany people that are not
authentic, and I don't mean thatdisparagingly, but more like
(08:52):
how can you be something if youdon't know how to be that, right
?
No?
Deborah (08:58):
go ahead, go ahead.
I mean, one of the things thatwe've experienced um here
recently is that people having alack of awareness of what is in
their best interest or what isauthentically for them to do,
and so they're operating againsttheir best interest, against
their balance, and I think thathaving that awareness allows you
(09:22):
to provide the space to haveaccess to that balance.
Is that what you'recommunicating, teaching,
advocating for your clients?
Nasirra (09:35):
Yes, I am doing.
That's one of the things that Ido advocate for to really
understand who you are.
There's also something calledself-care, also understanding
that the sky is the limit.
We have to challenge ourselves,overcoming fear, ourselves
(09:58):
overcoming fear.
We need to look at fear in theeyes and say I'm going to do it
in spite of, in spite of feelingwhat I feel right now.
Uh, and the only way to reallyget through it is to get through
it, get into it even with theunderstanding that possibilities
, like you said, are endless,there are endless possibilities.
Deborah (10:15):
You can't even see all the possibilities, that
possibilities, like you said,are endless, there are endless
possibilities.
You can't even see all thepossibilities that you can open
up just by stepping past thatfear right.
Nasirra (10:22):
Absolutely, and that becomes your benchmark.
Then you've started from A,you've gone to B and you never
thought you could actually reachB.
But now, suddenly you're at Band like what?
That's all it was, that's all Ihad to do.
Now let me go to C and then,once you get to C, it's like I
can do more.
(10:43):
So challenge yourself, believe.
Believe that you are worth it,you are capable and you are
enough and you deserve it.
Deborah (10:54):
I love that.
Thank you.
Debbie (10:56):
You do too.
I do hear a lot of people saythe opposite I'm not worth it, I
can't do it, and I know thatone of your philosophies is to
help women design a life withintention, and you do that
through, like, setting goals andum.
(11:16):
I think you already mentionedthe values part um practicing
mindfulness.
When, when you say practicingmindfulness, um, give us a
little idea of what that meansto you sure.
Nasirra (11:34):
So for me, mindfulness is really to connect with who
you really are.
Again, it goes back toauthenticity.
It depends upon who you believeyou are, um, and what are your
benchmarks?
(11:54):
What are your um, what it isthat you believe success is okay
, and that can only happenthrough self-exploration.
You either wait for somebody totell you externally or you
understand this for yourself,because I believe that the
answers are deep within you.
So if you are looking atexternal validation, then your
(12:24):
opinion can.
You'll always be peoplepleasing.
If you depend upon your looks,then time can defy that, and if
you're thinking about money,there will always be that fear
of running out.
My approach to mindfulness andeven to really respond to
(12:45):
everything around me is toconnecting with myself.
It's like an inside outapproach, which means that the
external world does not shake meif my internal world is strong
and when I am rooted deeply,like, like my logo, you know,
you see the tree, the tree oflife and Deborah also has that
(13:08):
um it's.
Those roots are so strong andthat can only come in through
mindfulness and connecting withyourself, because then when you
go ahead, you go with thatconviction and the external
world cannot uproot you.
So even if there is a stormaround you, you're so deeply
(13:32):
rooted that it does not affectyou.
So the work really has to beinside, and whatever evolves
from there is what will reallychange the world around you as
well.
So you can't be blaming theworld for things that are
happening to you, but maybe youcreate this world, this strength
(13:56):
within yourself to reallyinfluence everything around you,
and that becomes your reality.
Debbie (14:03):
So when I talk about mindfulness, it's really
connecting with that, that deepsense of self and understanding
that Well, I know some of ourlisteners are decades old, maybe
five or six, maybe even seven,but probably the five and six
decades, 50s, 60s.
What do you say to a womanwho's still not feeling like
(14:30):
she's got it together?
She's still allowing otherpeople to determine her life for
her.
She doesn't like it, but shewants to start making those
decisions on her own, but she'safraid.
So does she have a chance togrow?
Is there hope for her?
(14:51):
Can you address that for ourlistening audience?
Nasirra (14:58):
Oh, thank you for that question.
So it doesn't matter where youare, as long as you start, and
starting is now, it's just now.
When we over intellectualizesomething, okay, we kind of find
reasons to not believe that wecan do it.
So when you know that this iswhat I want to do, you do not
(15:19):
overthink it.
It's one, two, three, do.
Debbie (15:24):
Start.
Nasirra (15:27):
Yeah, exactly that is what stops us.
It is our belief.
It is our belief.
It is us thinking of everyreason why I cannot do it.
So you need to not think aboutit, but you need to know that I
want to do it.
Deborah (15:45):
Right, right, that's so funny.
It reminds me of when I was ayoung child and I got on the
high, high, high, high dive,right, you know.
I was standing there foreveruntil I went one, two, three.
There I went, you know, and itjust you suspend that fear at
three and just go, and it's soeffective.
(16:08):
I forgot about that.
I'm going to use that more.
Debbie (16:12):
Oh, that's great everybody well, I said it's a
great visual.
It's like who has not climbedon a dive board or at least seen
someone else do it and had areaction?
I mean I, I know that I'veclimbed whatever 20, 30 feet and
been like, oh my god, and I'vejumped.
(16:35):
I have jumped.
I've jumped off of a bridgethat I know was a higher than
that and wish I hadn't.
Only because I learned jumped.
I've jumped off of a bridgethat I know is a higher than
that and wish I hadn't.
Only because I learned later Ididn't know what was underneath
the water like, oh my gosh, thatcould have been horrible, but I
don't think that's the visionwe're going for here, but to
know that there's that moment.
And then I've also looked atpeople that have that are going
(16:56):
to dive off of cliffs andthought that's too high for me.
But maybe I could incrementallywork up that way.
But the feelings are there, thefear can be there, but I can
also watch other people havefear and do it anyway, and that
gives me hope that maybe I canhave the fear but go ahead and
(17:17):
do that thing anyway, becausethey got through it.
Why can't I, right?
Why couldn't any of us?
It's a what did you say, nasira?
Did you use the word?
Nasirra (17:37):
conviction, or commitment or something Like
you've method to this, um, and Ihave this one motto that I just
take one step every day.
So, as long as I'm taking onestep every day in the direction
that I want to go, so that wayit doesn't seem overwhelming,
(18:01):
you don't beat yourself up, butit's just that one step and you
know, today doesn't seem likemuch, tomorrow doesn't seem like
much, day after it may not seemlike much, but after three
months you're like whoa, that'show far I got.
It was just that one step.
Debbie (18:23):
Right, that is really interesting.
Like you don't.
Like you might say I want to goto this particular place in my
life, but you don't go.
Why am I not there?
It's like I know that if I hadI don't know pick a direction
East, that if I had East, I'mgoing to get there because
that's where what I want lives,right?
So you start knowing that keepgoing.
(18:46):
Some days I'm sure you're goingto have more success than other
days, might even go back alittle bit, but to continue to
head in that direction.
I love that.
That's just such a fabulousvisual for me to know that you
can just take those little stepsand don't beat yourself up.
Go slow, take another step.
(19:06):
It's going to happen.
Keep going, keep going.
Very encouraging it reminds me.
Deborah (19:13):
You know, when you're on a balance beam or whatever,
you take that little step andthen you take the little time to
balance or whatever.
You take that little step andthen you take the little time to
balance yeah right, and thenyou get your balance and you
take the next step and just knowthat you're going to have to
take some time to lean into thatbalance before you want to take
the next step and that is why,deborah, that is why I would say
(19:36):
again I'm going to connect thisnow to what I said you said
balance, okay, and have fun, andthe only time, the only way you
can have fun is if you lovewhat you're doing.
Nasirra (19:52):
So, and then that is where authenticity comes back
again.
So, when you're having fun,you're taking that one step
every day and before you know it, you've covered a distance yes,
yes, I love, and so beautifully, yes joyfully, with grace yeah
but what stops?
(20:12):
But stop what, what standsbetween you, and that is your
fear.
So don't think about it, don'tintellectualize it, just do
action.
Deborah (20:26):
Or even make fear your friend, you know, say okay, here
you are, let's do this, youknow, blah, blah, blah blah,
because it informs you even andit gives you the direction that
you need to go in to overcomethat.
I love that.
Nasirra (20:42):
This is that gap between the knowing and the
doing.
Deborah (20:45):
Yes, I love that.
Debbie (20:50):
So if you could give advice to your younger self,
because you're a fairlyaccomplished woman, you've got a
lot of degrees and certificatesand certifications and whatnot
under your belt.
But if you could, like, giveadvice to that younger self,
whether you want to say what youwould have told yourself or if
(21:12):
you want to address the audience, completely up to you.
Whatever comes to mind for you,what would that be?
Nasirra (21:17):
Sure, sure.
I'd tell my younger self totrust that she's enough just as
she is.
I would remind her that there'sno need to chase external
validation or to feel like sheneeds to prove herself.
The real journey is more aboutaccepting and honoring my own
(21:41):
uniqueness.
You know my own quiet strengths, my infinite gifts, which are
innate and unique to me, and Itell myself that, even in
moments when I feel as thoughI'm not sure I'm lost, I'm
exactly where I'm meant to besure I'm lost.
(22:05):
I'm exactly where I'm meant tobe.
I'm learning what I need for myjourney ahead and even if I
don't know the path in front ofme, I know I need to start
walking and the path will revealitself cool, I mean by the same
kind of along those same lines.
Deborah (22:23):
What would you?
I mean, I suspect they might bethe same, but if you had a
single hope or desire for ouraudience, or for all women, all
your clients, or whatever, whatwould that be?
What would be the thing that ifyou could just go bing and it
would happen, what would that be?
Nasirra (22:47):
Interesting Challenge yourself.
When I was younger, the onething I always thought was I
wasn't enough.
Debbie (23:06):
Okay, I felt that.
Nasirra (23:09):
I'm going to give you an example.
I felt my nose was too big forme.
Okay, I always believed that.
I always believed my nose wastoo big for me, that I always
believed my nose was too big forme.
Today, after at the age of 50,I can say that I'm finally big
enough for my nose.
I love it perfect.
(23:31):
I lived my whole life believingthat and see how.
You just need to know that youhave to challenge yourself and
move.
Debbie (23:47):
Right Cause.
It's like where did you getthat notion and why did that
become so prevalent for you andyour became a belief which you
turn, which we have a tendencyto turn, into a truth.
It must be true when in factit's not true.
Nasirra (24:03):
And then you challenge that belief system, recognize
it's not true, and then you turnit around and accept and love
yeah, I agree with youcompletely and we have all of
these beliefs, and all of thesebeliefs may not be ours entirely
(24:23):
.
Ok, these could be beliefs fromour parents and auntie and
uncle.
Somebody you worked with,somebody said that you can't do
this, and then there is this newbelief that you can't do it, or
that you're not good at doingsomething, or that you were not
meant to do something.
But if you really question, isthat belief yours or was that
(24:47):
somebody else's?
Deborah (24:49):
So then I'm going to we're coming to the end of our
time now and I just wanted tospend some time.
How do you do that for yourclients?
How do you, you know, do you dothat for your clients?
How do you, you know what is,what is your process with your
(25:10):
clients?
Or, instead of that question,is there something that we
haven't asked you that you wouldlike to share with our audience
?
Nasirra (25:19):
Yeah.
So I'm going to integratesomething that you said with uh
with that you just asked me uh,and it's connected to that one
is that trauma is in the body.
The body does not forget trauma.
That also includes your beliefs.
This could be childhoodconditioning.
This could be, um, a badrelationship, it could be a
(25:42):
traumatic relationship, it couldbe this.
This is what creates yourlimiting belief, and sometimes
trauma needs to be cleared, youknow, before you start rewiring
yourself.
So the way I go about, you know, with my clients is that I see
(26:02):
as to where they get thislimiting belief from if it's an
inner child complexity orsomething like that, or if it is
a trauma, an abusiverelationship and really go to
that and clear that.
And so my coaching is not on asurface level, but it is really
(26:24):
a lot more deeper.
So I go to the root, eliminatethat and then build.
Debbie (26:29):
I love that I remember one time we were talking and you
said it, I just remember thewords uh, childhood complexities
, is that the phrase?
Do you have a degree, acertification?
Is there a process?
What does?
I just remembered childhoodcomplexities.
(26:50):
I get what that is, but what isit that I mean?
What were we talking aboutwhere you brought up childhood
complexities, that you have acertification?
Nasirra (27:02):
as a child?
Sorry, uh, yeah, to answer thatquestion.
As a child you have no thoughts, you don't have a belief, you
don't have anything, butsomething happens to you or
somebody has told you somethingand that becomes the basis of
everything that you startbehaving upon every in the way
(27:23):
you respond to everything.
So it is a complexity.
As a child it's like an emptybook and somebody fills up
something with that in that bookand now that has become the way
you conduct yourself.
So somebody may have told youas a child that you know you
look like Bugs Bunny, don'tsmile.
And guess what?
(27:43):
You're not going to smilebecause somebody said, somebody
said that you look like BugsBunny and that person can grow
up having a beautiful smile butnever believing that because
somebody told them that as achild somebody told me I sounded
(28:03):
like Charlie Brown.
Debbie (28:05):
One time I did a little speech it was like seventh grade
and I came back and sat downand she was laughing.
I'm like what's so funny shegoes.
You sounded just like CharlieBrown and that traumatized me
for a while, many years, a while, until something else happened
where I was able to move beyondthat.
(28:26):
I don't know if I do or not,but it doesn't even matter
anymore.
You know what I mean.
Like it's a non-issue, so okay.
Nasirra (28:35):
So the complexities of childhood follow us into
adulthood and then that can giveyou a very small example, a
very small, a very short example.
I had extremely bad acnegrowing up as a teenager and
when I met my dermatologist,they told me that I have
hormonal issues.
And they said because you havehormonal issues, I won't be
(28:59):
surprised if you havedifficulties having a child.
And I had my child at the ageof 36 and I was so fearful of
having my, of getting pregnant,because they said that I'm gonna
, that you know these hormonalproblems are going to be a
problem for me to have a child.
Debbie (29:19):
There was no basis to that, but that became my belief
yeah, wow, yeah you want totrust somebody that's in a
position of authority, but whenthey give you that kind of
information and then you liveyour life according to that.
Nasirra (29:33):
But apparently I was a child.
Debbie (29:35):
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, amazing, that's amazing, wow,
and it seems like the antidoteis to make it super simple is
conscious awareness.
Yeah, it's like an onion.
Yeah.
Nasirra (29:53):
Just peel it off, layer by layer, layer by layer, layer
by layer, till you get to thecore of it the core of it.
Debbie (30:04):
Yeah, I'm hearing people go oh my god, that sounds like
so much work.
It just sounds like exhausting.
What would your response tothat be?
Nasirra (30:12):
oh, if you believe in your dream and you believe in
yourself and if you believeyou're worth it, it's worth the
shot.
But you need to believe that,yeah, if you're gonna think it's
difficult, you may never startthat's true I like to say what's
the alternative?
Debbie (30:32):
you can stay where you are or you can try something
different.
And yeah, I mean same concept,though same exact concept.
Nasirra (30:40):
So small steps and mindfulness awareness of where
you're headed, where you want togo okay, that is just wonderful
.
Debbie (30:53):
Um, it's such good information.
I know I've heard a lot ofthings before, but it's so good
to hear them again because we'rejust so bombarded with so much
external I'll call it noiseright?
It's good to get that clear,clean reminder that we're worthy
(31:13):
, that we are important, we'respecial, unique.
I'm trying to pick the words outthat you told us this era and
that we matter, and that feelingfear is something going on
inside of us that we actuallycan rise above and can live our
(31:37):
lives differently if we'rewilling to take a look at that.
Deborah (31:42):
So wow, so one thing, that one more thing that I might
add, is that having thatawareness that you want to be in
a different place, that you areknowing that there are people
out there like Nasira that canhelp you and can guide you and
can lead you in those baby stepsas you choose to take them.
(32:03):
So I just want to remind ouraudience that her contact
information will be in thedescription.
So if you, you know, would loveto work with Nasira you know
she's awesome Then you knowwe've got the information below.
Debbie (32:26):
Exactly, not a problem at all.
So we thank you for all yourloves, likes and comments.
We love to receive them andrespond to you.
Guys and Deborah wrap us up.
Deborah (32:39):
And, as always, we invite you to love and care for
the shero and you thank you bye.
Hey Debbie,
Debbie (00:04):
hey De
Deborah (00:06):
Hey, I want to tell you I am really excited for today's
podcast interview.
We're going to be well, we'rehere today with Nasirra Ahmed
and I am just so excited aboutwhat she does and what the
ripple that she makes in theworld is just truly amazing.
(00:27):
So let me tell you a little bitabout y'all, Buckle up.
Let me tell you a little bitabout Nasirra.
She is a multiple renowned,number one international best
selling selling author,visionary, founder of a pod and
podcast, host of the energyarchitect, and I want to hear
(00:49):
some more about that and you donot want to miss this.
She is a speaker and a coach forleaders.
Her mission is to guide thosefeeling lost or stuck towards
their authentic selves, and sowhat I mean?
And then she has thecredentials right.
(01:10):
So she has a degree inpsychology and MBA and
entrepreneur management,post-grad work as a senior
certified coach when is my mouth?
Where are my words?
Senior certified coach when ismy mouth?
(01:30):
Where are my words?
And when?
And she's a mom, when do youhave time for all of this?
But not to mention that she has21 years of leadership
experience, as well as aholistic healer, Y'all.
Let me introduce Nasirra Ahamedand Debbie, take it away.
Debbie (01:50):
Nasirra welcome.
Nasirra (01:53):
Thank you so much, Debbie.
Thank you so much, Deborah, forsuch a warm, lovely welcome.
Thank you, it's an honor to behere today and I couldn't find
another reason to be moreexcited.
Thank you.
Debbie (02:11):
Good, we are excited to have you here as well.
You know, there's, I think, ofall the things that I've seen,
what you do, it' it's like yourdesire to make the world a
(02:31):
better place is huge.
So many people are out forthemselves and you know, I don't
mean to disparage anybody formaking money or going after
their dreams.
We should absolutely all dothat.
But I also saw that where youwere like a coach to women that
have like panic attacks and youempower women with resiliency
and help them see their huge andboundless potential, and I was
(02:59):
like how do you help somebodywho is feeling like there is no
hope but yet somehow move themout of that space into some
other space where they begin tosee maybe I can do this?
Would you share a little bitabout that?
Nasirra (03:21):
Yes, yes.
So, debbie, something that Irealized that I've been
extremely passionate about is tohelp people get unstuck,
especially women, who constantlyput themselves second.
What fills me with inspirationis this infinite potential
(03:44):
within every person that I workwith.
So people are so much moredeeper and they are much, much
more resilient and a lot morecapable than they really believe
they are.
So when I see women, the onething I do know is they are so
conditioned to self-sabotagingthemselves and I thought that
(04:12):
you know they need to understandtheir potential and I try and
help them open their eyes andsee their true value.
What I've also seen is, youknow, when people are applying
for jobs for the same job, womendon't think they're capable
enough to apply for the same jobif they don't tick off all of
(04:34):
those aspects, all of thoserequirements, requirements.
But if a man takes off eventhree or four, he believes that
he can, definitely he's perfectfor the job.
Debbie (04:57):
And women.
Even if they leave off two,they think that they can't do it
.
No-transcript.
Nasirra (05:11):
I think to some extent it is cultural and it's also
conditioning.
Women are conditioned to takecare and nurture and nurture
everybody, and they always putthemselves second.
So they also feel guilty.
Now if, at least in India, youwould see women who cook in the
(05:37):
morning, take care of theirentire families, go off to work,
come back and take care oftheir families again and clean
the place, and the man just getsup, gets ready, has breakfast
and leaves, comes back, dinneris ready, and so how will they
(06:01):
feel that they can do completejustice, you know to, to
whatever they are asked to do,because they feel their first
job is to actually nurture them,to take care of their families.
Debbie (06:16):
Yeah, it's not dissimilar here.
I mean not everywhere.
There are some people thatshare duties equally, but there
is a probably overwhelmingpercentage of exactly that
scenario as in well, you couldgo to work if you do all this
other stuff first, and two rightIf you do it also.
(06:40):
So what do you?
What do you?
How do you help this, thesewomen to see something different
, something better, somethingelse?
Nasirra (06:53):
I think it's about balance and really understanding
yourself and your passion To besuccessful.
Markers don't necessarily meanhow much money you earn or the
designation that you have, butit's more about really loving
what you do, because when youlove what you do, it does not
(07:16):
feel like work and you lookforward to it every day.
So I feel the pressure doescome down, and I would really
urge women to explore as to whatreally makes them tick.
What are they really passionateabout?
Debbie (07:33):
right, and maybe not just go to a job to make money,
but find a job that brings themjoy, brings them happiness.
And then there's more desire.
Well, maybe not even desire.
It seems like correct me if I'mwrong, but it seems like when
you're doing what you love,energy just shows up.
(07:54):
When you're doing what you love, energy just shows up, the
energy to get the job done, tobe part of it, to create it, to
whatever it is you're doing.
It seems like you just havemore energy.
Nasirra (08:07):
You know, what's beautiful about this is that
when you are passionate aboutwhat you do, you're being
extremely authentic, becauseyou're not making up something
that you don't feel.
So what also happens in this isthat when you show up
authentically, you are alsoconsistent.
Debbie (08:28):
I love authenticity.
Deborah (08:31):
Absolutely.
Debbie (08:32):
Yeah, it's like Deborah and I do a lot with self-care
and self-love and that bringsyou to a more authentic you.
Right, and um, there are somany people that are not
authentic, and I don't mean thatdisparagingly, but more like
(08:52):
how can you be something if youdon't know how to be that, right
?
No?
Deborah (08:58):
go ahead, go ahead.
I mean, one of the things thatwe've experienced um here
recently is that people having alack of awareness of what is in
their best interest or what isauthentically for them to do,
and so they're operating againsttheir best interest, against
their balance, and I think thathaving that awareness allows you
(09:22):
to provide the space to haveaccess to that balance.
Is that what you'recommunicating, teaching,
advocating for your clients?
Nasirra (09:35):
Yes, I am doing.
That's one of the things that Ido advocate for to really
understand who you are.
There's also something calledself-care, also understanding
that the sky is the limit.
We have to challenge ourselves,overcoming fear, ourselves
(09:58):
overcoming fear.
We need to look at fear in theeyes and say I'm going to do it
in spite of, in spite of feelingwhat I feel right now.
Uh, and the only way to reallyget through it is to get through
it, get into it even with theunderstanding that possibilities
, like you said, are endless,there are endless possibilities.
Deborah (10:15):
You can't even see all the possibilities, that
possibilities, like you said,are endless, there are endless
possibilities.
You can't even see all thepossibilities that you can open
up just by stepping past thatfear right.
Nasirra (10:22):
Absolutely, and that becomes your benchmark.
Then you've started from A,you've gone to B and you never
thought you could actually reachB.
But now, suddenly you're at Band like what?
That's all it was, that's all Ihad to do.
Now let me go to C and then,once you get to C, it's like I
can do more.
(10:43):
So challenge yourself, believe.
Believe that you are worth it,you are capable and you are
enough and you deserve it.
Deborah (10:54):
I love that.
Thank you.
Debbie (10:56):
You do too.
I do hear a lot of people saythe opposite I'm not worth it, I
can't do it, and I know thatone of your philosophies is to
help women design a life withintention, and you do that
through, like, setting goals andum.
(11:16):
I think you already mentionedthe values part um practicing
mindfulness.
When, when you say practicingmindfulness, um, give us a
little idea of what that meansto you sure.
Nasirra (11:34):
So for me, mindfulness is really to connect with who
you really are.
Again, it goes back toauthenticity.
It depends upon who you believeyou are, um, and what are your
benchmarks?
(11:54):
What are your um, what it isthat you believe success is okay
, and that can only happenthrough self-exploration.
You either wait for somebody totell you externally or you
understand this for yourself,because I believe that the
answers are deep within you.
So if you are looking atexternal validation, then your
(12:24):
opinion can.
You'll always be peoplepleasing.
If you depend upon your looks,then time can defy that, and if
you're thinking about money,there will always be that fear
of running out.
My approach to mindfulness andeven to really respond to
(12:45):
everything around me is toconnecting with myself.
It's like an inside outapproach, which means that the
external world does not shake meif my internal world is strong
and when I am rooted deeply,like, like my logo, you know,
you see the tree, the tree oflife and Deborah also has that
(13:08):
um it's.
Those roots are so strong andthat can only come in through
mindfulness and connecting withyourself, because then when you
go ahead, you go with thatconviction and the external
world cannot uproot you.
So even if there is a stormaround you, you're so deeply
(13:32):
rooted that it does not affectyou.
So the work really has to beinside, and whatever evolves
from there is what will reallychange the world around you as
well.
So you can't be blaming theworld for things that are
happening to you, but maybe youcreate this world, this strength
(13:56):
within yourself to reallyinfluence everything around you,
and that becomes your reality.
Debbie (14:03):
So when I talk about mindfulness, it's really
connecting with that, that deepsense of self and understanding
that Well, I know some of ourlisteners are decades old, maybe
five or six, maybe even seven,but probably the five and six
decades, 50s, 60s.
What do you say to a womanwho's still not feeling like
(14:30):
she's got it together?
She's still allowing otherpeople to determine her life for
her.
She doesn't like it, but shewants to start making those
decisions on her own, but she'safraid.
So does she have a chance togrow?
Is there hope for her?
(14:51):
Can you address that for ourlistening audience?
Nasirra (14:58):
Oh, thank you for that question.
So it doesn't matter where youare, as long as you start, and
starting is now, it's just now.
When we over intellectualizesomething, okay, we kind of find
reasons to not believe that wecan do it.
So when you know that this iswhat I want to do, you do not
(15:19):
overthink it.
It's one, two, three, do.
Debbie (15:24):
Start.
Nasirra (15:27):
Yeah, exactly that is what stops us.
It is our belief.
It is our belief.
It is us thinking of everyreason why I cannot do it.
So you need to not think aboutit, but you need to know that I
want to do it.
Deborah (15:45):
Right, right, that's so funny.
It reminds me of when I was ayoung child and I got on the
high, high, high, high dive,right, you know.
I was standing there foreveruntil I went one, two, three.
There I went, you know, and itjust you suspend that fear at
three and just go, and it's soeffective.
(16:08):
I forgot about that.
I'm going to use that more.
Debbie (16:12):
Oh, that's great everybody well, I said it's a
great visual.
It's like who has not climbedon a dive board or at least seen
someone else do it and had areaction?
I mean I, I know that I'veclimbed whatever 20, 30 feet and
been like, oh my god, and I'vejumped.
(16:35):
I have jumped.
I've jumped off of a bridgethat I know was a higher than
that and wish I hadn't.
Only because I learned jumped.
I've jumped off of a bridgethat I know is a higher than
that and wish I hadn't.
Only because I learned later Ididn't know what was underneath
the water like, oh my gosh, thatcould have been horrible, but I
don't think that's the visionwe're going for here, but to
know that there's that moment.
And then I've also looked atpeople that have that are going
(16:56):
to dive off of cliffs andthought that's too high for me.
But maybe I could incrementallywork up that way.
But the feelings are there, thefear can be there, but I can
also watch other people havefear and do it anyway, and that
gives me hope that maybe I canhave the fear but go ahead and
(17:17):
do that thing anyway, becausethey got through it.
Why can't I, right?
Why couldn't any of us?
It's a what did you say, nasira?
Did you use the word?
Nasirra (17:37):
conviction, or commitment or something Like
you've method to this, um, and Ihave this one motto that I just
take one step every day.
So, as long as I'm taking onestep every day in the direction
that I want to go, so that wayit doesn't seem overwhelming,
(18:01):
you don't beat yourself up, butit's just that one step and you
know, today doesn't seem likemuch, tomorrow doesn't seem like
much, day after it may not seemlike much, but after three
months you're like whoa, that'show far I got.
It was just that one step.
Debbie (18:23):
Right, that is really interesting.
Like you don't.
Like you might say I want to goto this particular place in my
life, but you don't go.
Why am I not there?
It's like I know that if I hadI don't know pick a direction
East, that if I had East, I'mgoing to get there because
that's where what I want lives,right?
So you start knowing that keepgoing.
(18:46):
Some days I'm sure you're goingto have more success than other
days, might even go back alittle bit, but to continue to
head in that direction.
I love that.
That's just such a fabulousvisual for me to know that you
can just take those little stepsand don't beat yourself up.
Go slow, take another step.
(19:06):
It's going to happen.
Keep going, keep going.
Very encouraging it reminds me.
Deborah (19:13):
You know, when you're on a balance beam or whatever,
you take that little step andthen you take the little time to
balance or whatever.
You take that little step andthen you take the little time to
balance yeah right, and thenyou get your balance and you
take the next step and just knowthat you're going to have to
take some time to lean into thatbalance before you want to take
the next step and that is why,deborah, that is why I would say
(19:36):
again I'm going to connect thisnow to what I said you said
balance, okay, and have fun, andthe only time, the only way you
can have fun is if you lovewhat you're doing.
Nasirra (19:52):
So, and then that is where authenticity comes back
again.
So, when you're having fun,you're taking that one step
every day and before you know it, you've covered a distance yes,
yes, I love, and so beautifully, yes joyfully, with grace yeah
but what stops?
(20:12):
But stop what, what standsbetween you, and that is your
fear.
So don't think about it, don'tintellectualize it, just do
action.
Deborah (20:26):
Or even make fear your friend, you know, say okay, here
you are, let's do this, youknow, blah, blah, blah blah,
because it informs you even andit gives you the direction that
you need to go in to overcomethat.
I love that.
Nasirra (20:42):
This is that gap between the knowing and the
doing.
Deborah (20:45):
Yes, I love that.
Debbie (20:50):
So if you could give advice to your younger self,
because you're a fairlyaccomplished woman, you've got a
lot of degrees and certificatesand certifications and whatnot
under your belt.
But if you could, like, giveadvice to that younger self,
whether you want to say what youwould have told yourself or if
(21:12):
you want to address the audience, completely up to you.
Whatever comes to mind for you,what would that be?
Nasirra (21:17):
Sure, sure.
I'd tell my younger self totrust that she's enough just as
she is.
I would remind her that there'sno need to chase external
validation or to feel like sheneeds to prove herself.
The real journey is more aboutaccepting and honoring my own
(21:41):
uniqueness.
You know my own quiet strengths, my infinite gifts, which are
innate and unique to me, and Itell myself that, even in
moments when I feel as thoughI'm not sure I'm lost, I'm
exactly where I'm meant to besure I'm lost.
(22:05):
I'm exactly where I'm meant tobe.
I'm learning what I need for myjourney ahead and even if I
don't know the path in front ofme, I know I need to start
walking and the path will revealitself cool, I mean by the same
kind of along those same lines.
Deborah (22:23):
What would you?
I mean, I suspect they might bethe same, but if you had a
single hope or desire for ouraudience, or for all women, all
your clients, or whatever, whatwould that be?
What would be the thing that ifyou could just go bing and it
would happen, what would that be?
Nasirra (22:47):
Interesting Challenge yourself.
When I was younger, the onething I always thought was I
wasn't enough.
Debbie (23:06):
Okay, I felt that.
Nasirra (23:09):
I'm going to give you an example.
I felt my nose was too big forme.
Okay, I always believed that.
I always believed my nose wastoo big for me, that I always
believed my nose was too big forme.
Today, after at the age of 50,I can say that I'm finally big
enough for my nose.
I love it perfect.
(23:31):
I lived my whole life believingthat and see how.
You just need to know that youhave to challenge yourself and
move.
Debbie (23:47):
Right Cause.
It's like where did you getthat notion and why did that
become so prevalent for you andyour became a belief which you
turn, which we have a tendencyto turn, into a truth.
It must be true when in factit's not true.
Nasirra (24:03):
And then you challenge that belief system, recognize
it's not true, and then you turnit around and accept and love
yeah, I agree with youcompletely and we have all of
these beliefs, and all of thesebeliefs may not be ours entirely
(24:23):
.
Ok, these could be beliefs fromour parents and auntie and
uncle.
Somebody you worked with,somebody said that you can't do
this, and then there is this newbelief that you can't do it, or
that you're not good at doingsomething, or that you were not
meant to do something.
But if you really question, isthat belief yours or was that
(24:47):
somebody else's?
Deborah (24:49):
So then I'm going to we're coming to the end of our
time now and I just wanted tospend some time.
How do you do that for yourclients?
How do you, you know, do you dothat for your clients?
How do you, you know what is,what is your process with your
(25:10):
clients?
Or, instead of that question,is there something that we
haven't asked you that you wouldlike to share with our audience
?
Nasirra (25:19):
Yeah.
So I'm going to integratesomething that you said with uh
with that you just asked me uh,and it's connected to that one
is that trauma is in the body.
The body does not forget trauma.
That also includes your beliefs.
This could be childhoodconditioning.
This could be, um, a badrelationship, it could be a
(25:42):
traumatic relationship, it couldbe this.
This is what creates yourlimiting belief, and sometimes
trauma needs to be cleared, youknow, before you start rewiring
yourself.
So the way I go about, you know, with my clients is that I see
(26:02):
as to where they get thislimiting belief from if it's an
inner child complexity orsomething like that, or if it is
a trauma, an abusiverelationship and really go to
that and clear that.
And so my coaching is not on asurface level, but it is really
(26:24):
a lot more deeper.
So I go to the root, eliminatethat and then build.
Debbie (26:29):
I love that I remember one time we were talking and you
said it, I just remember thewords uh, childhood complexities
, is that the phrase?
Do you have a degree, acertification?
Is there a process?
What does?
I just remembered childhoodcomplexities.
(26:50):
I get what that is, but what isit that I mean?
What were we talking aboutwhere you brought up childhood
complexities, that you have acertification?
Nasirra (27:02):
as a child?
Sorry, uh, yeah, to answer thatquestion.
As a child you have no thoughts, you don't have a belief, you
don't have anything, butsomething happens to you or
somebody has told you somethingand that becomes the basis of
everything that you startbehaving upon every in the way
(27:23):
you respond to everything.
So it is a complexity.
As a child it's like an emptybook and somebody fills up
something with that in that bookand now that has become the way
you conduct yourself.
So somebody may have told youas a child that you know you
look like Bugs Bunny, don'tsmile.
And guess what?
(27:43):
You're not going to smilebecause somebody said, somebody
said that you look like BugsBunny and that person can grow
up having a beautiful smile butnever believing that because
somebody told them that as achild somebody told me I sounded
(28:03):
like Charlie Brown.
Debbie (28:05):
One time I did a little speech it was like seventh grade
and I came back and sat downand she was laughing.
I'm like what's so funny shegoes.
You sounded just like CharlieBrown and that traumatized me
for a while, many years, a while, until something else happened
where I was able to move beyondthat.
(28:26):
I don't know if I do or not,but it doesn't even matter
anymore.
You know what I mean.
Like it's a non-issue, so okay.
Nasirra (28:35):
So the complexities of childhood follow us into
adulthood and then that can giveyou a very small example, a
very small, a very short example.
I had extremely bad acnegrowing up as a teenager and
when I met my dermatologist,they told me that I have
hormonal issues.
And they said because you havehormonal issues, I won't be
(28:59):
surprised if you havedifficulties having a child.
And I had my child at the ageof 36 and I was so fearful of
having my, of getting pregnant,because they said that I'm gonna
, that you know these hormonalproblems are going to be a
problem for me to have a child.
Debbie (29:19):
There was no basis to that, but that became my belief
yeah, wow, yeah you want totrust somebody that's in a
position of authority, but whenthey give you that kind of
information and then you liveyour life according to that.
Nasirra (29:33):
But apparently I was a child.
Debbie (29:35):
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, amazing, that's amazing, wow,
and it seems like the antidoteis to make it super simple is
conscious awareness.
Yeah, it's like an onion.
Yeah.
Nasirra (29:53):
Just peel it off, layer by layer, layer by layer, layer
by layer, till you get to thecore of it the core of it.
Debbie (30:04):
Yeah, I'm hearing people go oh my god, that sounds like
so much work.
It just sounds like exhausting.
What would your response tothat be?
Nasirra (30:12):
oh, if you believe in your dream and you believe in
yourself and if you believeyou're worth it, it's worth the
shot.
But you need to believe that,yeah, if you're gonna think it's
difficult, you may never startthat's true I like to say what's
the alternative?
Debbie (30:32):
you can stay where you are or you can try something
different.
And yeah, I mean same concept,though same exact concept.
Nasirra (30:40):
So small steps and mindfulness awareness of where
you're headed, where you want togo okay, that is just wonderful
.
Debbie (30:53):
Um, it's such good information.
I know I've heard a lot ofthings before, but it's so good
to hear them again because we'rejust so bombarded with so much
external I'll call it noiseright?
It's good to get that clear,clean reminder that we're worthy
(31:13):
, that we are important, we'respecial, unique.
I'm trying to pick the words outthat you told us this era and
that we matter, and that feelingfear is something going on
inside of us that we actuallycan rise above and can live our
(31:37):
lives differently if we'rewilling to take a look at that.
Deborah (31:42):
So wow, so one thing, that one more thing that I might
add, is that having thatawareness that you want to be in
a different place, that you areknowing that there are people
out there like Nasira that canhelp you and can guide you and
can lead you in those baby stepsas you choose to take them.
(32:03):
So I just want to remind ouraudience that her contact
information will be in thedescription.
So if you, you know, would loveto work with Nasira you know
she's awesome Then you knowwe've got the information below.
Debbie (32:26):
Exactly, not a problem at all.
So we thank you for all yourloves, likes and comments.
We love to receive them andrespond to you.
Guys and Deborah wrap us up.
Deborah (32:39):
And, as always, we invite you to love and care for
the shero and you thank you bye.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.