January 28, 2025 • 20 mins
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Ever felt trapped by the expectations of others or struggled with people-pleasing tendencies? Discover how don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" can help you break free and live more authentically. We share personal stories and insights on how this transformative book has quietly influenced our lives, even long after we've forgotten its specific teachings. From childhood conditioning to resigning from positions that don't serve our well-being, we explore the unconscious agreements we make and the journey to foster self-care, self-love and personal growth.
Join us as we explore the power of living with integrity and authenticity. Learn how aligning your actions with your true self can lead to a more fulfilling life, benefiting not just you but everyone around you. We discuss the principles of being impeccable with your word, not taking things personally, and avoiding assumptions, all inspired by Ruiz's wisdom. As we set the stage for our next episode on being impeccable with your word, we invite you to nurture the "Shero" within, paving the way for a healthier and more emotionally connected life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Debbie (00:03):
Well, hello, Deborah hey .
Deborah (00:05):
How are you Hi, I'm fabulous.
Debbie (00:07):
Good and hello to all you guys listening.
We are so excited to bring toyou today the book the Four
Agreements by don Miguel Ruizand really talk about the impact
that this book can have in yourlife.
We've decided to break thisbook up into the beginning
(00:36):
section, which is kind of theintroduction to the book and the
idea and concept, and thenwe're going to do four more
episodes after this, one on eachof the four agreements.
So I don't know if you've readthe four agreements before, but
I did a long time ago, like Idon't know.
For me it was like 20 years ago.
What about?
Deborah (00:55):
you, devorah, I think for me it was like 40 years ago.
It was a while ago.
I was a young thing, and, and Idon't even know if I even
understood it all, but I justalways remembered how impactful
and powerful it was.
Debbie (01:13):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Um, and somebody asked me theother day, the other day, what
are the four agreements?
I was like um, and it was likeI couldn't name them, but I live
them like I really, or I try to, I try to.
So, um, what we'd like to do isstart off just kind of not not
(01:33):
doing a book report, but buttalk about the, the, the
self-love and self-care portionsthat we've gotten out of the
book and maybe why we as humanshave such a challenge with
things like perfectionism,self-doubt, rejection and other
(01:58):
feelings that we have withouteven realizing, like, where that
comes from.
So look, I'm just going to keeptalking Deborah, so, at any
point, just jump in.
Okay, all right, she's likeyeah, I know, deb, you don't
have to tell me, okay.
Deborah (02:16):
So one of the things and I'll jump in now One of the
things that really struck me issome of the things that we're
looking at anyway, about how,you know, how our lenses, our
past, our limiting beliefsreally affect how we move
(02:38):
through the world.
Right, so we have .
.
.
since we were kids, we've beentrained to respond in this way
If I do this, then I'm going toget a reward, if I don't do this
, I'm not going to get thatreward.
And so there's a lot of thingsthat have come with us as we,
(03:02):
you know, as we age that reallydoesn't serve our self-love or
self-care, and I think that thisbook kind of points that out a
little bit.
At least in the introduction.
They give you kind of anoutline of some of those
limiting beliefs, some of thoseagreements that we've made in
(03:23):
the past.
Debbie (03:25):
And we don't realize that we made them.
Deborah (03:27):
I mean, it wasn't like yeah, we didn't go.
Debbie (03:31):
I agree with you in a conscious manner, but it became
an agreement.
Right To hear these adultpeople you know, or who
literally control their lives,both emotionally and financially
(03:51):
even though for some people,there wasn't a lot of emotion
and there may not have been alot of financial, we agreed to
believe what the I call them theother people, because that
could be primary, secondarycaregivers, teachers, parents,
(04:12):
coaches, neighbors, all it'sjust others, right, the other
people.
And through all these otherpeople, did I cut you off?
Did you have something else?
You want to finish saying Okay,through all these other people,
did I cut you off?
Did you have something else?
You want to finish saying Okay,through all these other people,
(04:35):
we begin to form this picture ofperfection and in a lot of
times it's unattainable becauseperson A says you should do
something and person B says youshouldn't do it, and now we're
like, oh, and I'm kind ofbouncing and floating between
doing it and not doing it,because I'm not sure who I'm
with right now, like a persontype or a person B type.
(04:55):
People pleasing comes from thisbecause we want to try and
soothe our way through the worldand, if we can please, this
other person we won't quoteunquote get hurt, and that might
be a physical hurt or anemotional hurt.
Deborah (05:13):
And I've got a great example of something that I did
this week, which it was when Icame to the realization of why I
did this for years.
I am on our HOA, okay, and Ihave not enjoyed it, haven't
(05:33):
wanted to do it for years, butwe only now have two people on
our HOA.
Because nobody wants to do it.
So I have been doing this forthe board I'm sorry, wants to do
it.
So I have been doing this forthe board I'm sorry, the board
of the HOA.
So I've been doing this foryears because nobody else would
do it and because I could do it.
And so this week I called upthe other person on the board
(05:56):
and say I am resigning myposition, I want to put my time
somewhere else, because I wasmaking um, putting myself out,
because nobody else wanted to doit.
So if I did so, I had to look atwhat I wanted to do with my
(06:16):
time, to love myself, to carefor myself, and say this is what
is best for me and I I don'treally.
You know I will be a help orwhatever, but I need to break
that agreement that I have totake care of everybody else.
If nobody else will do it, thenI have to do it and I have to
(06:37):
break that agreement foreverybody else and should and
keep the agreement that I'mmaking with myself that I am
going to take care of myself.
So you know, you just alwayshave.
You know, the more you dig intothese things and the more you
know the awareness that you have, you're like, oh, that's what
(06:57):
I've been doing for the lastfour years.
I've been trying to break offthis agreement or whatever, and
I've never been able to untilI've been able to look inside me
and find the place inside methat allowed me to make that
change.
Debbie (07:16):
Wow, how did you feel?
A it's a two-part question howdid you feel when you made the
decision and then how did youfeel after you announced your
decision?
Deborah (07:30):
After I made the decision, I was kind of like are
you going to really do it?
Are you really going to do it?
You know it's like hey, yeah,okay, this is what you're going
to do.
It took me a while, it took mea long while and after I did it,
when I was doing it, I and uh,I I was not gonna text or email,
I was gonna call and talk tothe other person directly.
(07:52):
Um, which was kind of you know,okay, am I gonna backslide, am
I gonna?
And I kind of didn't backslide.
I didn't go, I quit or anythinglike that.
I'm like I'm not, I'm resigningand here are some options or
whatever.
So I kind of just wanted tostill make it okay, to keep that
(08:15):
relationship and keep thatconnection right.
So I still wanted to felt like Iwanted to make it okay for in
any way that I could for theother person, as much as I could
, but still I was like I got offthe phone and I was like, yes,
yes, yes, yes, I did it.
Debbie (08:37):
I'm well, I'm proud of you and it sounds like you're
proud of yourself too, and it'slike I'm hearing just so many
little pockets, like you know,this belief that if nobody else
is doing it, you've got to do it.
But then the realization of howrestrictive it is as opposed to
an expansive feeling, and I'mnot talking about just is this
(08:59):
fun or is this not fun, becausesometimes we have to do things
that aren't fun.
But then I also was hearingactually, I felt like I was
hearing agreement number one,which is be impeccable with your
word, and in that story, whichis good, we'll continue it in
the next episode didn't justdrop a bomb, but you decided to
(09:28):
be considerate enough to thinkthrough some options and offer
that as well, and whether sheaccepts any of those or not is
irrelevant.
The integrity of you said Ican't just drop and run.
So I just thought that wasreally cool.
That's a great story.
Thank you for telling that.
Deborah (09:49):
That's thank you.
But yeah, I'm, I'm, I can, II'm still gonna be doing some,
some tasks for a little while,but I told him where I'm, where
it, where it ends, so um butthat's the thing that that is.
So I think exciting about thisbook is that you have some
little nuggets, some, you know,the four agreements that really
(10:14):
can give you a little matrix ora foundation or a guideline
that's going to help younavigate these things Because,
again, it's a journey.
Debbie (10:26):
Yeah, and you know we keep talking about agreements.
If you guys read the book theFour Agreements, part of the
introduction talks about how,even if we didn't 100% agree
with what other people weresaying, they're still called
agreements because we're adultsnow and we're still doing them.
(10:50):
So we've agreed to continue todo things that we didn't want to
do back then, we don't want todo now, but we do them anyway.
And so how can we start livingour lives in a way that's
different, that's going to makea difference, and that we are
deciding?
And the way that it can shiftand change for us is to start
(11:12):
making new agreements withourselves, right?
So that's what the fouragreements are how to make new
agreements with yourself.
But before we get into those, Iwould like to just talk a little
bit about how we stay stuck inthese limiting beliefs, all
these challenges, and we talkeda little bit about how we live
(11:38):
in other people's definitionsplural of perfection, and that
is unattainable because wecannot be quote unquote perfect
for anybody, much less everybody.
And but so what?
What do we do?
We end up putting on thesesocial masks because, we don't
(12:00):
realize that we can't.
So we're pretending I mean notto not really to like, oh I'm
gonna.
It's not an intentionalpretending, it is a survival
mechanism because we don't wantto get judged.
And the interesting thing is, alot of our people we hang out
(12:23):
with are also pretending becausethey don't want to get judged.
And even if we're steppingoutside of that and I know I've
been stepping outside of thatfor decades but it seems like we
still end up carrying guilt andshame when we're not true to
(12:44):
ourselves.
So two big words areauthenticity and integrity, and
what it's taking to to be that Idon't know a hundred percent,
even possible, but is heading inthat direction for sure.
Yeah.
Deborah (13:01):
And when you look at it , when you look at it, what
we're doing in these situationsis we are you gave the example
of being perfect for this personbe perfect for this person.
We are disconnecting with ourauthentic selves Absolutely, and
what these agreements allow usto do is to create space for us
(13:25):
to look and to operate from ourauthentic selves, coming from a
place of not.
I guess, when you say self,there could be the
interpretation that it's selfishor narcissistic or something
(13:47):
like that, but I'm not referringto that at all.
It doesn't mean that.
But if you are true to anythingin this world, it should be to
yourself, and allowing you toconnect with your true self in a
way that you interact with theworld from the inside and not
(14:07):
from the outside, just reallyallows you to live a more
fulfilled you know, well-livedlife.
Debbie (14:16):
I think yeah, yeah yeah, I was talking to a client and I
happened to say the words inyour highest good you know,
making a decision for yourhighest good and I and she kind
of was nodding her head, but Irealized as I kept talking that
(14:42):
she wasn't really understanding.
She, I think, was nodding tosay I heard your words but not I
understand them.
And when we finally got to apoint where I said when?
Because she said I have toconsider everybody, I can't just
consider me.
And I said exactly that's whatI'm talking about when I say
(15:04):
your higher good, because thehigher good for you is the best
good that's possible and thatmeans for everyone.
That doesn't mean everyone'sgoing to like it, it doesn't
mean everyone's going to approveof it, but if it is truly for
the highest good of you, that isthe highest good of all.
(15:27):
So let's say the highest good isyou make a boundary with a
loved one that there's abehavior that's not going to be
I don't want to say tolerated,but that you find unacceptable.
Maybe they go through yourthings or they walk in on you
and you would rather haveprivacy.
Whatever the situation is, thatboundary may create some rift
(15:52):
between you and the loved one.
But that doesn't mean that it'sa bad thing.
It means that there wassomething that was off.
And if the other person is likearguing we're family, you know
you can't do that or youshouldn't do that, that is a
disempowering belief, that is asocial construct or a familial
(16:14):
construct or a cultural one thatsays you must do it because
those other people have decidedthat that's the way, it should
be right for you.
Then you have to look at why isit not right for you and is it
in the highest good to shift orchange that situation?
(16:38):
And that may be an agreementthat you end up making with
yourself, because when we don't,we end up living a false life
trying to fit into what somebodyelse wants us to do, and when
(17:00):
we really are in the agreementthat we're all going to honor
our agreements, it is like thebest ever, Right, Thank you.
Okay, so I was going to saycause I I mean, I have certain
friends, you're one of them thatit's like I can just be, of
course, generously and genuinelyand honestly and with
(17:23):
compassion, but I can becompletely honest with you Like,
hey, I can't make it.
I know, I said I would, butsomething has really come up and
it's not a BS excuse, it'ssomething really came up and I
can't be with you for whateverreason.
And you get it because you knowthat I am impeccable with my
word, which, of course, is goingto be the next episode.
(17:44):
You don't take it personal,which is number two, and you're
not making any assumptions,which is agreement.
Number three You're allowing me,who you know has high integrity
and authenticity, to live mylife in, in the, the, to live my
life in the best way that I can, doing what's in my highest
(18:04):
good and knowing that it's gotnothing to do with going against
you or not honoring you, Right,right.
And that is like number four,which is always do your best.
So we've covered all four ofwhat they are, I know.
Deborah (18:18):
And I am just so excited to to really really dig
in into these four agreementsand Debbie and I could Debbie
and I could talk about thesethings forever, because it is
just so exciting that you knowwe can have, um, an awareness
that could lead us to decisionsthat really support our
(18:41):
well-being, and when you findsomething that gives you some
information on that, it's alwaysso exciting.
Debbie (18:50):
So, yeah, so to go ahead and we'll start wrapping this
up is, as I'd like to say, thereare times when we really feel
powerless, and I think a lot ofthat has to do with being so
because of these agreements.
(19:11):
They're so ingrained into oureveryday life, into our
subconscious maybe ourunconscious life, into our
subconscious, maybe ourunconscious and we really don't
even realize what we putourselves through, and that's
why we feel powerless.
Learning these agreements,learning how to incorporate
(19:33):
self-care and self-love in withthese agreements, will literally
change your life, and but itchanges it for the better.
And again, not in anegotistical way, but in an
emotionally healthy way, and themore emotionally healthy you
are, the more emotionallyhealthy you can participate with
(19:56):
others in your life, right?
So with that, I think this is agood wrap up.
Deborah (20:03):
So we will see you in the next episode, the next
episode where we'll be goingover the first agreement of be
impeccable with your word andalways, always, always.
We invite you to love and carefor the Shiro in you, Shiro in
you Woo-hoo, always, always, weinvite you to love and care for
the shero, and you, you are, youguys.
(20:25):
Bye.
Well, hello, Deborah hey .
Deborah (00:05):
How are you Hi, I'm fabulous.
Debbie (00:07):
Good and hello to all you guys listening.
We are so excited to bring toyou today the book the Four
Agreements by don Miguel Ruizand really talk about the impact
that this book can have in yourlife.
We've decided to break thisbook up into the beginning
(00:36):
section, which is kind of theintroduction to the book and the
idea and concept, and thenwe're going to do four more
episodes after this, one on eachof the four agreements.
So I don't know if you've readthe four agreements before, but
I did a long time ago, like Idon't know.
For me it was like 20 years ago.
What about?
Deborah (00:55):
you, devorah, I think for me it was like 40 years ago.
It was a while ago.
I was a young thing, and, and Idon't even know if I even
understood it all, but I justalways remembered how impactful
and powerful it was.
Debbie (01:13):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Um, and somebody asked me theother day, the other day, what
are the four agreements?
I was like um, and it was likeI couldn't name them, but I live
them like I really, or I try to, I try to.
So, um, what we'd like to do isstart off just kind of not not
(01:33):
doing a book report, but buttalk about the, the, the
self-love and self-care portionsthat we've gotten out of the
book and maybe why we as humanshave such a challenge with
things like perfectionism,self-doubt, rejection and other
(01:58):
feelings that we have withouteven realizing, like, where that
comes from.
So look, I'm just going to keeptalking Deborah, so, at any
point, just jump in.
Okay, all right, she's likeyeah, I know, deb, you don't
have to tell me, okay.
Deborah (02:16):
So one of the things and I'll jump in now One of the
things that really struck me issome of the things that we're
looking at anyway, about how,you know, how our lenses, our
past, our limiting beliefsreally affect how we move
(02:38):
through the world.
Right, so we have .
.
.
since we were kids, we've beentrained to respond in this way
If I do this, then I'm going toget a reward, if I don't do this
, I'm not going to get thatreward.
And so there's a lot of thingsthat have come with us as we,
(03:02):
you know, as we age that reallydoesn't serve our self-love or
self-care, and I think that thisbook kind of points that out a
little bit.
At least in the introduction.
They give you kind of anoutline of some of those
limiting beliefs, some of thoseagreements that we've made in
(03:23):
the past.
Debbie (03:25):
And we don't realize that we made them.
Deborah (03:27):
I mean, it wasn't like yeah, we didn't go.
Debbie (03:31):
I agree with you in a conscious manner, but it became
an agreement.
Right To hear these adultpeople you know, or who
literally control their lives,both emotionally and financially
(03:51):
even though for some people,there wasn't a lot of emotion
and there may not have been alot of financial, we agreed to
believe what the I call them theother people, because that
could be primary, secondarycaregivers, teachers, parents,
(04:12):
coaches, neighbors, all it'sjust others, right, the other
people.
And through all these otherpeople, did I cut you off?
Did you have something else?
You want to finish saying Okay,through all these other people,
did I cut you off?
Did you have something else?
You want to finish saying Okay,through all these other people,
(04:35):
we begin to form this picture ofperfection and in a lot of
times it's unattainable becauseperson A says you should do
something and person B says youshouldn't do it, and now we're
like, oh, and I'm kind ofbouncing and floating between
doing it and not doing it,because I'm not sure who I'm
with right now, like a persontype or a person B type.
(04:55):
People pleasing comes from thisbecause we want to try and
soothe our way through the worldand, if we can please, this
other person we won't quoteunquote get hurt, and that might
be a physical hurt or anemotional hurt.
Deborah (05:13):
And I've got a great example of something that I did
this week, which it was when Icame to the realization of why I
did this for years.
I am on our HOA, okay, and Ihave not enjoyed it, haven't
(05:33):
wanted to do it for years, butwe only now have two people on
our HOA.
Because nobody wants to do it.
So I have been doing this forthe board I'm sorry, wants to do
it.
So I have been doing this forthe board I'm sorry, the board
of the HOA.
So I've been doing this foryears because nobody else would
do it and because I could do it.
And so this week I called upthe other person on the board
(05:56):
and say I am resigning myposition, I want to put my time
somewhere else, because I wasmaking um, putting myself out,
because nobody else wanted to doit.
So if I did so, I had to look atwhat I wanted to do with my
(06:16):
time, to love myself, to carefor myself, and say this is what
is best for me and I I don'treally.
You know I will be a help orwhatever, but I need to break
that agreement that I have totake care of everybody else.
If nobody else will do it, thenI have to do it and I have to
(06:37):
break that agreement foreverybody else and should and
keep the agreement that I'mmaking with myself that I am
going to take care of myself.
So you know, you just alwayshave.
You know, the more you dig intothese things and the more you
know the awareness that you have, you're like, oh, that's what
(06:57):
I've been doing for the lastfour years.
I've been trying to break offthis agreement or whatever, and
I've never been able to untilI've been able to look inside me
and find the place inside methat allowed me to make that
change.
Debbie (07:16):
Wow, how did you feel?
A it's a two-part question howdid you feel when you made the
decision and then how did youfeel after you announced your
decision?
Deborah (07:30):
After I made the decision, I was kind of like are
you going to really do it?
Are you really going to do it?
You know it's like hey, yeah,okay, this is what you're going
to do.
It took me a while, it took mea long while and after I did it,
when I was doing it, I and uh,I I was not gonna text or email,
I was gonna call and talk tothe other person directly.
(07:52):
Um, which was kind of you know,okay, am I gonna backslide, am
I gonna?
And I kind of didn't backslide.
I didn't go, I quit or anythinglike that.
I'm like I'm not, I'm resigningand here are some options or
whatever.
So I kind of just wanted tostill make it okay, to keep that
(08:15):
relationship and keep thatconnection right.
So I still wanted to felt like Iwanted to make it okay for in
any way that I could for theother person, as much as I could
, but still I was like I got offthe phone and I was like, yes,
yes, yes, yes, I did it.
Debbie (08:37):
I'm well, I'm proud of you and it sounds like you're
proud of yourself too, and it'slike I'm hearing just so many
little pockets, like you know,this belief that if nobody else
is doing it, you've got to do it.
But then the realization of howrestrictive it is as opposed to
an expansive feeling, and I'mnot talking about just is this
(08:59):
fun or is this not fun, becausesometimes we have to do things
that aren't fun.
But then I also was hearingactually, I felt like I was
hearing agreement number one,which is be impeccable with your
word, and in that story, whichis good, we'll continue it in
the next episode didn't justdrop a bomb, but you decided to
(09:28):
be considerate enough to thinkthrough some options and offer
that as well, and whether sheaccepts any of those or not is
irrelevant.
The integrity of you said Ican't just drop and run.
So I just thought that wasreally cool.
That's a great story.
Thank you for telling that.
Deborah (09:49):
That's thank you.
But yeah, I'm, I'm, I can, II'm still gonna be doing some,
some tasks for a little while,but I told him where I'm, where
it, where it ends, so um butthat's the thing that that is.
So I think exciting about thisbook is that you have some
little nuggets, some, you know,the four agreements that really
(10:14):
can give you a little matrix ora foundation or a guideline
that's going to help younavigate these things Because,
again, it's a journey.
Debbie (10:26):
Yeah, and you know we keep talking about agreements.
If you guys read the book theFour Agreements, part of the
introduction talks about how,even if we didn't 100% agree
with what other people weresaying, they're still called
agreements because we're adultsnow and we're still doing them.
(10:50):
So we've agreed to continue todo things that we didn't want to
do back then, we don't want todo now, but we do them anyway.
And so how can we start livingour lives in a way that's
different, that's going to makea difference, and that we are
deciding?
And the way that it can shiftand change for us is to start
(11:12):
making new agreements withourselves, right?
So that's what the fouragreements are how to make new
agreements with yourself.
But before we get into those, Iwould like to just talk a little
bit about how we stay stuck inthese limiting beliefs, all
these challenges, and we talkeda little bit about how we live
(11:38):
in other people's definitionsplural of perfection, and that
is unattainable because wecannot be quote unquote perfect
for anybody, much less everybody.
And but so what?
What do we do?
We end up putting on thesesocial masks because, we don't
(12:00):
realize that we can't.
So we're pretending I mean notto not really to like, oh I'm
gonna.
It's not an intentionalpretending, it is a survival
mechanism because we don't wantto get judged.
And the interesting thing is, alot of our people we hang out
(12:23):
with are also pretending becausethey don't want to get judged.
And even if we're steppingoutside of that and I know I've
been stepping outside of thatfor decades but it seems like we
still end up carrying guilt andshame when we're not true to
(12:44):
ourselves.
So two big words areauthenticity and integrity, and
what it's taking to to be that Idon't know a hundred percent,
even possible, but is heading inthat direction for sure.
Yeah.
Deborah (13:01):
And when you look at it , when you look at it, what
we're doing in these situationsis we are you gave the example
of being perfect for this personbe perfect for this person.
We are disconnecting with ourauthentic selves Absolutely, and
what these agreements allow usto do is to create space for us
(13:25):
to look and to operate from ourauthentic selves, coming from a
place of not.
I guess, when you say self,there could be the
interpretation that it's selfishor narcissistic or something
(13:47):
like that, but I'm not referringto that at all.
It doesn't mean that.
But if you are true to anythingin this world, it should be to
yourself, and allowing you toconnect with your true self in a
way that you interact with theworld from the inside and not
(14:07):
from the outside, just reallyallows you to live a more
fulfilled you know, well-livedlife.
Debbie (14:16):
I think yeah, yeah yeah, I was talking to a client and I
happened to say the words inyour highest good you know,
making a decision for yourhighest good and I and she kind
of was nodding her head, but Irealized as I kept talking that
(14:42):
she wasn't really understanding.
She, I think, was nodding tosay I heard your words but not I
understand them.
And when we finally got to apoint where I said when?
Because she said I have toconsider everybody, I can't just
consider me.
And I said exactly that's whatI'm talking about when I say
(15:04):
your higher good, because thehigher good for you is the best
good that's possible and thatmeans for everyone.
That doesn't mean everyone'sgoing to like it, it doesn't
mean everyone's going to approveof it, but if it is truly for
the highest good of you, that isthe highest good of all.
(15:27):
So let's say the highest good isyou make a boundary with a
loved one that there's abehavior that's not going to be
I don't want to say tolerated,but that you find unacceptable.
Maybe they go through yourthings or they walk in on you
and you would rather haveprivacy.
Whatever the situation is, thatboundary may create some rift
(15:52):
between you and the loved one.
But that doesn't mean that it'sa bad thing.
It means that there wassomething that was off.
And if the other person is likearguing we're family, you know
you can't do that or youshouldn't do that, that is a
disempowering belief, that is asocial construct or a familial
(16:14):
construct or a cultural one thatsays you must do it because
those other people have decidedthat that's the way, it should
be right for you.
Then you have to look at why isit not right for you and is it
in the highest good to shift orchange that situation?
(16:38):
And that may be an agreementthat you end up making with
yourself, because when we don't,we end up living a false life
trying to fit into what somebodyelse wants us to do, and when
(17:00):
we really are in the agreementthat we're all going to honor
our agreements, it is like thebest ever, Right, Thank you.
Okay, so I was going to saycause I I mean, I have certain
friends, you're one of them thatit's like I can just be, of
course, generously and genuinelyand honestly and with
(17:23):
compassion, but I can becompletely honest with you Like,
hey, I can't make it.
I know, I said I would, butsomething has really come up and
it's not a BS excuse, it'ssomething really came up and I
can't be with you for whateverreason.
And you get it because you knowthat I am impeccable with my
word, which, of course, is goingto be the next episode.
(17:44):
You don't take it personal,which is number two, and you're
not making any assumptions,which is agreement.
Number three You're allowing me,who you know has high integrity
and authenticity, to live mylife in, in the, the, to live my
life in the best way that I can, doing what's in my highest
(18:04):
good and knowing that it's gotnothing to do with going against
you or not honoring you, Right,right.
And that is like number four,which is always do your best.
So we've covered all four ofwhat they are, I know.
Deborah (18:18):
And I am just so excited to to really really dig
in into these four agreementsand Debbie and I could Debbie
and I could talk about thesethings forever, because it is
just so exciting that you knowwe can have, um, an awareness
that could lead us to decisionsthat really support our
(18:41):
well-being, and when you findsomething that gives you some
information on that, it's alwaysso exciting.
Debbie (18:50):
So, yeah, so to go ahead and we'll start wrapping this
up is, as I'd like to say, thereare times when we really feel
powerless, and I think a lot ofthat has to do with being so
because of these agreements.
(19:11):
They're so ingrained into oureveryday life, into our
subconscious maybe ourunconscious life, into our
subconscious, maybe ourunconscious and we really don't
even realize what we putourselves through, and that's
why we feel powerless.
Learning these agreements,learning how to incorporate
(19:33):
self-care and self-love in withthese agreements, will literally
change your life, and but itchanges it for the better.
And again, not in anegotistical way, but in an
emotionally healthy way, and themore emotionally healthy you
are, the more emotionallyhealthy you can participate with
(19:56):
others in your life, right?
So with that, I think this is agood wrap up.
Deborah (20:03):
So we will see you in the next episode, the next
episode where we'll be goingover the first agreement of be
impeccable with your word andalways, always, always.
We invite you to love and carefor the Shiro in you, Shiro in
you Woo-hoo, always, always, weinvite you to love and care for
the shero, and you, you are, youguys.
(20:25):
Bye.
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