May 16, 2025 • 31 mins
Talk to us, Shero! Talk to us!
Words carry more power than we often realize. They don't just describe our world—they actively create it. This profound truth sits at the heart of our discussion on being "impeccable with your word" and how conscious language choices shape our entire reality.
Remember that time you wanted something specific—like a convertible Volkswagen or were experiencing something new like pregnancy—and suddenly saw evidence of it everywhere? That's not coincidence. Our words direct our attention and literally manifest in our awareness. The vibration, energy, or "code" of what we speak attracts corresponding experiences into our lives.
We explore a powerful personal transformation around money language. Shifting from "I can't afford that" (which creates feelings of powerlessness and lack) to "I choose not to buy this right now" completely changes the experience from victim to empowered decision-maker. Same financial situation, entirely different psychological impact. This simple word change transforms beliefs about yourself and your relationship with money.
Traditional affirmations often fail because they create internal conflict when we repeat phrases that feel untrue based on our current experience. Instead, we suggest crafting statements that genuinely excite you and feel possible, like "show me opportunities where I can make money today"—which engages your brain in possibility-seeking rather than reinforcing dishonesty with yourself.
The simplest place to start practicing impeccable word choice? Your "yes" and "no" responses. Ensuring these basic words align with your true desires represents profound self-care—honoring your authentic self rather than automatically responding based on others' expectations. Even small interim steps like saying "let me think about it" can create the space needed for more truthful communication.
Listen in to discover how aligning your words with your truth isn't just about integrity—it's about creating a life that genuinely reflects who you are and what you value most. What reality are your words building today?
Thank you so much for the likes, love, and comments you leave. Not only does it mean the world to us, it helps other women who need to hear it be able to find it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey everybody, hi, debbie, it is so good to be back
, and I am actually thinkingtoday.
We have been talking aboutbeing impeccable with your word
and that was one of the thingsthat we discussed in a prior
episode and I've been thinkingabout how important our words
(00:25):
are and how they shape our.
You know our existence and whatour life looks like, and how
important it is that we usewords very clearly and very just
, with integrity, and I thoughtthat would be a wonderful thing
(00:46):
for us to have a conversationwith about today.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I love that because I have been discovering, really,
that same thing.
I don't know if it's because ofthe book we read or if it's
just time, but it's like Inotice, and especially with my
clients.
They'll say always blah, blah,blah and it's like o.
And especially with my clients,they'll say always blah, blah,
blah and it's like oof, always,always.
It's like let's regroup about.
(01:11):
Is it really always?
Or, you know, like never.
What is it that we're saying toourselves?
And to kind of revisit howwords do affect our lives, but
not just it's our wholeexistence.
I think you said that wordalready.
It's our whole existence, right?
(01:31):
So I think the way that we wantto phrase it is let's take a
look at words and that they meana lot more in our lives than
just communicating with eachother.
They tell us a story in ourhead.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Well, I think I'm not just a story in our head, but I
think that these words, justlike a lot of the things that we
do, these words haveconsequences, they have actions
that are associated with them.
You know, if you know one ofthe things that you know, you
say, well, I'm not gonna, I'mnot gonna speak that word
(02:15):
because it's gonna come true.
Well, it is true that thathappens.
Whatever you speak comes closerto you and it becomes part of
your existence.
So if I'm saying I'm a loser,I'm a loser, guess what the
world will conspire to prove toyou that you're a loser.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
So it's like it's not just describing a reality, it's
you literally building yourreality, right?
See what I mean.
Like that feels different,different to me.
Does that feel different to youdescribing reality but then
actually building your reality,right?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
because what we, what we um it's like present, tense
and future.
Yeah, your life to look andwhat we imagine our life to look
like is what our life becomes.
If you imagine that you'reliving in a hellhole, you know,
and, and your and your lifestinks, then guess what?
(03:15):
That's what, what happens inyour life if you are living a
life that you see, the gratitude, the joy, that's what the
fabric of your life is, andsometimes words are what creates
those differences.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Absolutely.
You know, looking at words asvibrations, right, sometimes
people call it energy or code orwhatever.
There's different phrases thatpeople might use.
But if you think about how wereceive things, one person can
(03:53):
speak a phrase and two peoplewill take it very differently.
Or you may be, I don't know,maybe not in a bad mood, or
maybe in a bad mood, but ifsomebody criticizes you, it's
like how does that come across?
If somebody compliments you,how does that come across?
And if we're not payingattention to our own vibration,
(04:18):
our own level of energy andholding it in a clean space,
then the other people's wordscan have an effect on us because
we haven't fully learned tovalidate ourself.
So, yeah, um, to me, this iswhere self care and self-love
come in.
It is how do I hold myself andwhat am I allowing from someone
(04:43):
else, right?
So if somebody does saysomething negative, that I can
just allow that to be theirexperience, but not take it into
my space and have it be part ofmy experience as well.
Okay, my audience can't see you, but you just got this like
little grin on your face.
So what was going on with youthere?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Well, there's a couple of things.
Debbie, I have the perfectexample for that.
I, a while ago, I mean and thiswas when I was young Right, I
was wanting to be veryintentional about my money.
I was living paycheck topaycheck and I did not want to
(05:24):
be that person.
So what I did is I decided tonot necessarily put myself on a
budget, but just have some goals.
So whenever I saw something well, there's a couple of things
that I did, but one of thethings is, whenever I saw
something, I would tell myselfyou cannot afford that.
(05:45):
And really those words told methat I was less than it really
said, that I was powerless.
And then I did not have theability to have that, or it
wasn't for me.
And so I recognized that atsome point, although I was
(06:07):
saving money, paying off my debt, you know, and everything, it
was coming from a place ofweakness.
And so I was creating this, Iguess, vision of my life that I
was a slave to my budget, not incontrol of my budget.
So then I turned that around tosay I choose not to buy this
(06:32):
right now.
So those words, just thoselittle words, put me in the
position of power and it feltlike I was being powerful when I
made those decisions, not weak,you know, I mean, have you had
something like that?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, I remember somebody telling me and I
remember when they said it itstruck me powerfully.
They said you meaning we all,but you don't have the luxury of
a negative thought.
And I was like, wait, what Iwas like.
You don't have the luxury of anegative thought and I was like,
wait, what I was like, youdon't have the luxury of an.
(07:10):
It sounded just kind of likethose two concepts, luxury and
negative thought, just wentagainst each other.
But we live in a way because wewere taught nobody's fault, it's
just the way our society,culture, whatever, ended up
being where we complain a lot,right, like that's unfair.
Basically, I'm a victim, right,you know how come they can have
(07:32):
it and I can't.
Oh, look, keep up with theJoneses, whatever the situation
is, and then we can feel bad.
But we grew up with all thiswhere we begin to blame, shame
and complain, the you don't havethe luxury quote unquote.
Luxury of a negative thoughtmeans just what happened to you.
If you keep thinking thisnegative thought, I can't afford
(07:54):
it, I can't afford it, I can'tafford it you will live the I
can't afford it.
Life and so that was no choice.
That's the thought that youwere brought up with, and I
don't mean your parentsinstilled it, I just mean in
your life, that is the conceptthat permeated your brain and
then you decided to change it.
But you deciding to change itmeans that you chose something
(08:18):
different, and this is what thisis all about.
You stepped outside of thosewords, the powerful words.
This is the vibration.
I don't have enough money.
That vibration is I can justfeel it when I say it like lower
, sadder, more depressing,victimizing.
(08:38):
It's just lower, lower Versuswell, I'm going to choose not to
buy that right now isempowering, right.
And so you chose to be moreimpeccable with your word, like
to make sure that the words youwere using were empowering for
you, even if you weren't reallyconsciously aware of that.
It's what you did.
(08:59):
That's a beautiful story toillustrate this point about how
our words basically have.
I'm not sure about codes.
I know there's energy codes andwords are coded and all that,
but in a way I get it because Ican feel how it feels in my body
when I say it in a way likethat's less empowering, which I
(09:24):
don't have enough money versusI'm choosing not to purchase
that right now.
And we had talked about this,you and I a little bit about how
words shape our beliefs.
Right, and just saying thewords in a particular way is
going to shape what I believe.
If I say it that way, I'm goingto believe it that way.
If I say it this other way, Iget to believe it this other way
because the vibration haschanged.
(09:46):
The energy, the code, whateveryou want to call it's changed,
so I'm now able to have adifferent belief about my life.
It doesn't have to be I can'tafford it.
It's I'm choosing, because youcould have purchased something.
You may not have gottensomething else, but you could
have purchased it.
You chose not to, and so goahead, go ahead, oh, I just
(10:10):
finish it up with usingdifferent words gave you
different belief, right, shapedit differently.
And then when you use thatdifferent belief I'm choosing
not to.
That shapes your perception.
I'm not poor.
I'm choosing not to.
That shapes your perception.
I'm not poor.
I'm just making a choice aboutdo I want to give my money to
that person, store whatever, andthen that allows your
(10:35):
experience of yourself and yourlife and what you're doing have
more power because you've putyourself in that center place to
choose the words that are goingto most resonate with what's
going on with you, instead ofjust repeating what's been in
your head from for decades,right?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
right, and one of the other things that I think
happens is what you speak ismanifest in your life.
So, for example, when I was, Iwas looking for a convertible
volkswagen, and I sawconvertible volkswagens
(11:13):
everywhere, everywhere,everywhere, everywhere.
And what that did, you know?
First of all I'm speaking that,okay, I want to see, I want to
buy a convertible volkswagen.
And so then the universe keptbringing these, or you know, and
they were there probably allthe time, but then they became
part of what I was seeing, andso I saw this one.
(11:34):
I'm like don't like that color.
Oh, I like this color.
So it's manifest in real life.
So then, when I got to finallymake the decision of what I
wanted real life so then, when Igot to finally make the
decision of what I wanted, I'mlike, yep, this is what I want,
this is what I want it to looklike, because the universe has
given me all of these choicesand all of these examples.
(11:55):
And so I was able to be moreclear of what I wanted to
manifest.
And so what you speak, manifestin the universe, manifest in
the world, manifest in your life.
So speak good things, right, oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'm going to like piggyback on your example and
it's going to bring us.
I don't know if this will, butI want to go to if it's all
right with you to go toaffirmations right after this,
because I love what you justsaid.
Growing up and being a teenagerand dating, I never wanted to
be pregnant or have a baby.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I didn't want to get married.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I just didn't want that.
And then I met a particular manand we did get married and for
some reason, the baby genekicked in.
I'm like I want to have a baby,right.
I don't know where it came from, because I am not the motherly
nurturing type okay, just I'mnot, um, but it was time for
(12:51):
that to happen.
And it did.
And I got pregnant and deborah,they was pregnant people
everywhere like I never likewhere'd all these pregnant
people come from?
Like I'd never seen them before, because it was not part of
what I desired in my life, butit was just.
It's so crazy.
Now I do believe there's part ofthe brain that works on that
(13:13):
and we can go over that anothertime, because I do love talking
about the brain.
But it was just so fascinatingto me.
Like you, you're like, wow,Volkswagen convertibles
everywhere.
To me it was that same, just soreal, Like I really was stunned
that I was seeing so manypregnant people.
(13:33):
But to go back to yours, it waslike what I'm hearing you say,
when you were like wanting thisconvertible Volkswagen and all
this is showing up.
It was like you could feel itas a real possibility for
yourself, Right, and to me thatthat is the biggest key and the
(13:55):
biggest difference betweenbelieving that it's manifest
You're manifesting it foryourself, truly believing it,
feeling that and an affirmation.
I don't know about you and Iprobably have said this on the
podcast before, but affirmationsnever worked for me and I want
(14:18):
to caveat that with.
I thought that if I believedwhat others told me, you've got
to say it a lot like three timesa day or whatever.
Three times, six times,whatever the numbers are.
You know, if you do that, thenit'll happen, It'll come true.
And I did.
(14:39):
I was a good girl and I didwhat I was told and I kept track
of it because I wanted to makesure.
And you know, money flowseasily to me was my mantra Money
flows easily to me, Money flowseasily to me.
But I didn't really believe itbecause the proof of my bank
account was that that was nottrue.
And but money's hard to come bywas a true statement.
(15:04):
For me, it's like, oh my God,there's more month at the end of
my paycheck.
You know, it was just all thetypical statements that people
make, Right?
So you know saying those wordsum, you know whether it's money,
or like I'm strong, or you know, whatever the phrase is, as an
(15:26):
affirmation that you don't trulybelieve.
And I think that's the key Ifyou say an affirmation and you
truly believe it, go for it.
Like I'm not doggingaffirmations themselves, I'm
suggesting we pay attention tohow we feel when we say them.
Are we believing them?
Because what I discovered wasfor me, it has to be different,
(15:53):
Like for me to do the moneything.
I would have to say, instead oflike the mantra, it would be
more like the excitement of, ooh, show me opportunities where I
can make more money today.
That felt uplifting andexciting versus, I'll just say,
(16:16):
like the more negative feeling Iwould feel after saying money
comes easily to me because I'mlying to myself.
My self knows right, I can'tlie to myself.
And so to say those words moneycomes easily to me felt bad,
wrong, not true.
Saying, oh, show me opportunitywhere I can make money or that
(16:38):
where something else is going tohappen.
That felt exciting anduplifting and it also gave my
brain something to look for.
Oh, it's like a little puzzle.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Oh, where is that?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
at Right.
I want to go find that.
And then I can feel like awinner because I'm like that's
an opportunity, yeah, that.
And then I can feel like awinner because I'm like that's
an opportunity, yay, I wonbecause I found it.
And then I can go pursue thatopportunity and and now it
happens all the time like I justlike there's also opportunities
that pop up that I don't want.
So I'm like, nope, not that one.
And I have that choice againwhether or not I want to go in
(17:10):
that direction.
Because then I'm choosing if Ido go in that direction I can
make money, but I'm it's takingme away from the direction I
want to go in right.
So now I'm like, okay, good,but I've got opportunities all
over the place.
They just they show up becauseI ask for the opportunities to
be seen.
I get to focus on that, so yeah,right, right, and, and I do.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I think that's a perfect example.
I mean, I keep bringing this upabout being impeccable with
your word.
Yes, Because you have to have alevel of authenticity and
honesty with yourself with thewords that you use, right?
(17:57):
And so if you don't have thatconnection with yourself or if
you don't even take the time toyou know so, like in those
situations like with the, withthe money situation that I had
and I had another one today, butthe money situation that I had
(18:19):
I had to stop and have thatawareness of the words that I
was using.
So part of your self-love andyour self-care is to listen to
yourself, Take the time tolisten to your words, have the
curiosity of how is that landingfor me, how is that landing in
the universe?
What does that?
(18:39):
Does that?
Do those words help or hurt me?
And having that level ofcuriosity and connection with
your true self and your valuesand your awareness of self-care
and self-love is what's gonnaguide your decision in.
Does that help or hurt?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, is it taking you closer or further away?
Is it expansive or restrictive?
Yeah, and it's like just thephrase be impeccable with your
word kind of sounds like don'tlie, but it goes so much deeper
and just what you're saying tointernalize it like okay, if
you're going to use the don'tlie part, then don't lie to
(19:21):
yourself, because you can't foolyourself.
Yourself knows right.
So, yeah, it's so beneficial.
And to pay attention to howimpeccable am I being in every
situation which almost soundslike overwhelming.
And I can't do that.
Yes, you can, yes, you must.
(19:43):
If you want to live that lifeand I do, because I find the
more impeccable I am with myword, the easier it becomes, and
it's actually the less stress Ihave, because then I don't have
to remember other things likewhat did I say or was I nice to
that person when I really didn'treally like what was going on?
(20:04):
But I didn't want to upset thatlike it doesn't.
It's not that I'm mean or rude,I'm just more true to the life
I want to live.
You know which I?
You know, whatever my life,whatever my choices are, it's
just I'm more clean and insideof myself and so it feels what
(20:26):
is, what is it?
It's a higher vibration to be,there.
It takes a minute, but it'sworth the minute.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, and one of the things that you know that I
always talk about is baby steps,yes.
So I invite us the audience,the listener to start with two
words yes and no.
Just start with two words.
So, when you say yes, make sureit's a true yes.
(20:57):
When you say no, make sure it'sa true.
No, make sure that you are.
When you say yes, it is alignedwith what your true belief is,
that you really want to say yes,that's self-care and self-love,
and when you say no.
You know, make sure that you'retruly aligned with that.
(21:19):
You know, is that self-care orthat's self-care and self-love?
I say no sometimes when Ireally want to say yes, but I
feel like I can't be a goodsouthern girl if I say yes,
can't be a good Southern girl ifI say yes.
I mean those kinds of things.
You know, if it's somethingthat I say no to because
(21:41):
everybody else mama and themthink I should say no to it, but
I really want to do it, youknow.
Think about that.
So just think about two words,yes and no, and how you can be,
you know, true to yourself withthose two words.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Well, let's take it just one step farther.
Let's say somebody does startdoing that and they're like I
need to pay attention to that.
I'm going to start like reallylooking at my absolute yes or my
absolute no, or am I not beingabsolute and I'm just saying yes
and no randomly because I thinkI'm supposed to?
And let's say, they get to thatpoint where they're like okay,
(22:19):
I'm noticing and I'm saying yeswhen really I don't want to do
it, or I'm saying no, what mightbe a baby step that they could
take either in that moment orlater, whatever, I don't know.
I'm kind of delivering to youto help them move toward a more
(22:42):
absolute yes, or that they canbe more true to themselves
whether they're saying yes or no.
But do you get what I'm asking?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah.
And what helped me when Istarted doing this is like just
asking myself the questionbefore I said yes or no is this
an absolute yes, is this anabsolute no?
If this is not an absolute yes,why is it not?
I may still say yes, but ifthis is not an absolute yes,
(23:13):
what are the consequences?
And why am I saying this?
Why what?
It is just asking the questionwhy am I saying yes or why am I
saying no?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
so that might, it makes sense.
I'm just, I'm putting myself inthe shoes of the person that has
not had the experience of beingthat clear and that absolute,
especially if it's like yourmom's asking you the question to
do something and you're like,oh God, you know, my family
member, whatever, but like itfeels like a lot to be able to
(23:44):
like go through that manyquestions in the moment.
So in my experience, I, you know, I've learned that I've I had
to go through a number, whateverthe number is, but I had to go
through some number of times ofsaying yes when I wanted to say
no and thinking about it like athome or later on or whatever,
(24:06):
and kind of start putting someframeworks into place so that
the next time it came up to seewhere I was and could I still
say, could I say no this time,and eventually I got to where I
could say no.
It didn't happen overnight,though.
No, no, no, okay, it took aminute, well, many minutes, but
you know so many times before Icould say no, but you know that
(24:30):
that is that phrase is termed asmoral courage.
And it's getting to the point ofrecognizing your own worth, to
the point of I may have to sayno to someone that's going to be
really challenged with mesaying no, they're not going to
want to hear that.
But I have to honor who I amand what's also right for me as
(24:56):
an individual.
And I'll give you a reallyquick story, I guess, if you
will.
I was taking care of my mom.
She has dementia, but I'mreally not the right person for
caregiving.
That's not a strong suit.
I'm a task-oriented person andI found that out not because I
(25:17):
took a test or whatever, but Ireally wondered why I felt
different and why all theseother people could sit around
and chat all day long but I justwanted to go, like let's just
go clean the house or go to thegrocery store, like that has
been part of my life.
I even wondered about certainjobs that I took, like why did I
like that job so much?
It turned out it was a taskoriented job and I realized, wow
(25:38):
, that is actually a strengthfor me, like I'm really good at
it and you know that, deborah,because you're like you do that,
because I'll take on thoseparts of the podcast, because
I'm good at that part.
So I'm watching my mom know,caring for my mom I'm living at
that house and they're justthere comes a point.
(25:59):
It took a while, took years,okay, to get to the point where
I said, where I was able to tellmy family and they lost their
freaking mind.
But I was able to get to thepoint of being absolutely clear
about I love my mom.
But being the caregiver of herperson goes so antithesis to who
(26:21):
I am that we both have a badexperience.
She's frustrated, I'mfrustrated.
I'm good at taking care of allthe fine print, the legal, the
medical, all of that stuff thatmost people don't like doing.
I don't like it, but I'm betterat it.
So my sister and I ended upgetting to the point where she
(26:41):
started taking care of my momand my mom actually blossomed
with her because there's familythere, grandkids are coming in
and out the house and all kindsof things are going on that she
loves because she's a peopleperson.
My mom is where with me, I'misolating, trying to run a
(27:04):
business and I like to read, youknow, like all these things
where it's very individual, andmy mom would be like let's be
together and I'm like.
But I know, but I knew I had to.
But then it was challenging forme because it's not just my
natural proclivity, right.
So to be knowledgeable ofwhat's genuine for you, not
trying to hurt anybody, notgetting over on anybody, not
(27:25):
egotistical, just knowing deeplywho you are and what's right
for you helps bring you forward,to be able to get to the point
of saying no, and more than justno.
You know it is more than that.
But even if you have to likeslowly say, you know I'm saying
(27:46):
yes this time, but maybe nexttime you could ask somebody else
because I really don't want todo this anymore.
So it's, you're easing into itso that it isn't just a blatant
but.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Well, one thing that I and you know, and I totally
agree with all of that, totally.
But I also know that there'ssomething that you can do in the
moment.
So one of the things that Ilike to do is and this is a baby
step, and it's a well-receivedbaby step step is when I'm asked
(28:19):
a question that's a yes or no,I'll say, well, I don't know,
let me think about it.
Well, that you know, and so Igive myself the space to think
about it.
I give them an answer, so youknow I don't an answer, so that
they know that I'm reallyhonoring their question.
(28:41):
But I'm honoring their questionand I'm honoring my sovereignty
.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I don't want to say sovereignty, sovereignty, but
myself, it is what's beautifulabout that, deborah, I think,
even though people that you'rechanging from might be a little
frustrated because it meansthey've got to change a little
bit and they may not want tochange right.
But what you're actually doingis you're setting yourself up
(29:15):
for respect, right?
They're like to change fromgoing sure, okay, when you don't
want to say yes and saying,well, let me think about it.
Or I think I have somethingplanned, let me check my
calendar.
Whatever words you want to use.
A person wants to use let's theother person know that you have
value as well.
(29:35):
Right.
Wants to use lets the otherperson know that you have value
as well, right.
And so now you're saying I, Iam answering you, I'm respecting
that part of you, I'm going toget back with you, I am going to
give you an answer, and we needto give that person an answer,
even if it's the wrong answerfor them.
Yeah, what's the right answerfor us?
Right comes if you want it,right.
(29:55):
And this again, beingimpeccable, I guess, with your
word, but being impeccable withyourself, which shows up in
words and thoughts and thingslike that.
So, and actions, yeah, oh,absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
So, um, yeah, self-love, self-care love it,
love, love it, love it, love it.
Baby steps yes and no.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
So I think that we are wrapping this up, yes, yes,
good, and so I want to thankeverybody for the loves, the
likes, the comments, all thesharing.
You guys, it's just amazingwatching things grow because we
do this, because we justabsolutely love it.
Things grow because we do this,because we just absolutely love
it, and when you let us knowthat you're loving it too,
(30:39):
through those things, we just weknow what you're looking for.
We want to do more of that.
So we thank you so so much, andalways.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
We invite you to love and care for the Shiro in you
Love and care for the Shiro inyou.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I had to say it Couldn't help it.
Bye, y'all all right, bye.
Hey everybody, hi, debbie, it is so good to be back
, and I am actually thinkingtoday.
We have been talking aboutbeing impeccable with your word
and that was one of the thingsthat we discussed in a prior
episode and I've been thinkingabout how important our words
(00:25):
are and how they shape our.
You know our existence and whatour life looks like, and how
important it is that we usewords very clearly and very just
, with integrity, and I thoughtthat would be a wonderful thing
(00:46):
for us to have a conversationwith about today.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I love that because I have been discovering, really,
that same thing.
I don't know if it's because ofthe book we read or if it's
just time, but it's like Inotice, and especially with my
clients.
They'll say always blah, blah,blah and it's like o.
And especially with my clients,they'll say always blah, blah,
blah and it's like oof, always,always.
It's like let's regroup about.
(01:11):
Is it really always?
Or, you know, like never.
What is it that we're saying toourselves?
And to kind of revisit howwords do affect our lives, but
not just it's our wholeexistence.
I think you said that wordalready.
It's our whole existence, right?
(01:31):
So I think the way that we wantto phrase it is let's take a
look at words and that they meana lot more in our lives than
just communicating with eachother.
They tell us a story in ourhead.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Well, I think I'm not just a story in our head, but I
think that these words, justlike a lot of the things that we
do, these words haveconsequences, they have actions
that are associated with them.
You know, if you know one ofthe things that you know, you
say, well, I'm not gonna, I'mnot gonna speak that word
(02:15):
because it's gonna come true.
Well, it is true that thathappens.
Whatever you speak comes closerto you and it becomes part of
your existence.
So if I'm saying I'm a loser,I'm a loser, guess what the
world will conspire to prove toyou that you're a loser.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
So it's like it's not just describing a reality, it's
you literally building yourreality, right?
See what I mean.
Like that feels different,different to me.
Does that feel different to youdescribing reality but then
actually building your reality,right?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
because what we, what we um it's like present, tense
and future.
Yeah, your life to look andwhat we imagine our life to look
like is what our life becomes.
If you imagine that you'reliving in a hellhole, you know,
and, and your and your lifestinks, then guess what?
(03:15):
That's what, what happens inyour life if you are living a
life that you see, the gratitude, the joy, that's what the
fabric of your life is, andsometimes words are what creates
those differences.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Absolutely.
You know, looking at words asvibrations, right, sometimes
people call it energy or code orwhatever.
There's different phrases thatpeople might use.
But if you think about how wereceive things, one person can
(03:53):
speak a phrase and two peoplewill take it very differently.
Or you may be, I don't know,maybe not in a bad mood, or
maybe in a bad mood, but ifsomebody criticizes you, it's
like how does that come across?
If somebody compliments you,how does that come across?
And if we're not payingattention to our own vibration,
(04:18):
our own level of energy andholding it in a clean space,
then the other people's wordscan have an effect on us because
we haven't fully learned tovalidate ourself.
So, yeah, um, to me, this iswhere self care and self-love
come in.
It is how do I hold myself andwhat am I allowing from someone
(04:43):
else, right?
So if somebody does saysomething negative, that I can
just allow that to be theirexperience, but not take it into
my space and have it be part ofmy experience as well.
Okay, my audience can't see you, but you just got this like
little grin on your face.
So what was going on with youthere?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Well, there's a couple of things.
Debbie, I have the perfectexample for that.
I, a while ago, I mean and thiswas when I was young Right, I
was wanting to be veryintentional about my money.
I was living paycheck topaycheck and I did not want to
(05:24):
be that person.
So what I did is I decided tonot necessarily put myself on a
budget, but just have some goals.
So whenever I saw something well, there's a couple of things
that I did, but one of thethings is, whenever I saw
something, I would tell myselfyou cannot afford that.
(05:45):
And really those words told methat I was less than it really
said, that I was powerless.
And then I did not have theability to have that, or it
wasn't for me.
And so I recognized that atsome point, although I was
(06:07):
saving money, paying off my debt, you know, and everything, it
was coming from a place ofweakness.
And so I was creating this, Iguess, vision of my life that I
was a slave to my budget, not incontrol of my budget.
So then I turned that around tosay I choose not to buy this
(06:32):
right now.
So those words, just thoselittle words, put me in the
position of power and it feltlike I was being powerful when I
made those decisions, not weak,you know, I mean, have you had
something like that?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, I remember somebody telling me and I
remember when they said it itstruck me powerfully.
They said you meaning we all,but you don't have the luxury of
a negative thought.
And I was like, wait, what Iwas like.
You don't have the luxury of anegative thought and I was like,
wait, what I was like, youdon't have the luxury of an.
(07:10):
It sounded just kind of likethose two concepts, luxury and
negative thought, just wentagainst each other.
But we live in a way because wewere taught nobody's fault, it's
just the way our society,culture, whatever, ended up
being where we complain a lot,right, like that's unfair.
Basically, I'm a victim, right,you know how come they can have
(07:32):
it and I can't.
Oh, look, keep up with theJoneses, whatever the situation
is, and then we can feel bad.
But we grew up with all thiswhere we begin to blame, shame
and complain, the you don't havethe luxury quote unquote.
Luxury of a negative thoughtmeans just what happened to you.
If you keep thinking thisnegative thought, I can't afford
(07:54):
it, I can't afford it, I can'tafford it you will live the I
can't afford it.
Life and so that was no choice.
That's the thought that youwere brought up with, and I
don't mean your parentsinstilled it, I just mean in
your life, that is the conceptthat permeated your brain and
then you decided to change it.
But you deciding to change itmeans that you chose something
(08:18):
different, and this is what thisis all about.
You stepped outside of thosewords, the powerful words.
This is the vibration.
I don't have enough money.
That vibration is I can justfeel it when I say it like lower
, sadder, more depressing,victimizing.
(08:38):
It's just lower, lower Versuswell, I'm going to choose not to
buy that right now isempowering, right.
And so you chose to be moreimpeccable with your word, like
to make sure that the words youwere using were empowering for
you, even if you weren't reallyconsciously aware of that.
It's what you did.
(08:59):
That's a beautiful story toillustrate this point about how
our words basically have.
I'm not sure about codes.
I know there's energy codes andwords are coded and all that,
but in a way I get it because Ican feel how it feels in my body
when I say it in a way likethat's less empowering, which I
(09:24):
don't have enough money versusI'm choosing not to purchase
that right now.
And we had talked about this,you and I a little bit about how
words shape our beliefs.
Right, and just saying thewords in a particular way is
going to shape what I believe.
If I say it that way, I'm goingto believe it that way.
If I say it this other way, Iget to believe it this other way
because the vibration haschanged.
(09:46):
The energy, the code, whateveryou want to call it's changed,
so I'm now able to have adifferent belief about my life.
It doesn't have to be I can'tafford it.
It's I'm choosing, because youcould have purchased something.
You may not have gottensomething else, but you could
have purchased it.
You chose not to, and so goahead, go ahead, oh, I just
(10:10):
finish it up with usingdifferent words gave you
different belief, right, shapedit differently.
And then when you use thatdifferent belief I'm choosing
not to.
That shapes your perception.
I'm not poor.
I'm choosing not to.
That shapes your perception.
I'm not poor.
I'm just making a choice aboutdo I want to give my money to
that person, store whatever, andthen that allows your
(10:35):
experience of yourself and yourlife and what you're doing have
more power because you've putyourself in that center place to
choose the words that are goingto most resonate with what's
going on with you, instead ofjust repeating what's been in
your head from for decades,right?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
right, and one of the other things that I think
happens is what you speak ismanifest in your life.
So, for example, when I was, Iwas looking for a convertible
volkswagen, and I sawconvertible volkswagens
(11:13):
everywhere, everywhere,everywhere, everywhere.
And what that did, you know?
First of all I'm speaking that,okay, I want to see, I want to
buy a convertible volkswagen.
And so then the universe keptbringing these, or you know, and
they were there probably allthe time, but then they became
part of what I was seeing, andso I saw this one.
(11:34):
I'm like don't like that color.
Oh, I like this color.
So it's manifest in real life.
So then, when I got to finallymake the decision of what I
wanted real life so then, when Igot to finally make the
decision of what I wanted, I'mlike, yep, this is what I want,
this is what I want it to looklike, because the universe has
given me all of these choicesand all of these examples.
(11:55):
And so I was able to be moreclear of what I wanted to
manifest.
And so what you speak, manifestin the universe, manifest in
the world, manifest in your life.
So speak good things, right, oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'm going to like piggyback on your example and
it's going to bring us.
I don't know if this will, butI want to go to if it's all
right with you to go toaffirmations right after this,
because I love what you justsaid.
Growing up and being a teenagerand dating, I never wanted to
be pregnant or have a baby.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I didn't want to get married.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I just didn't want that.
And then I met a particular manand we did get married and for
some reason, the baby genekicked in.
I'm like I want to have a baby,right.
I don't know where it came from, because I am not the motherly
nurturing type okay, just I'mnot, um, but it was time for
(12:51):
that to happen.
And it did.
And I got pregnant and deborah,they was pregnant people
everywhere like I never likewhere'd all these pregnant
people come from?
Like I'd never seen them before, because it was not part of
what I desired in my life, butit was just.
It's so crazy.
Now I do believe there's part ofthe brain that works on that
(13:13):
and we can go over that anothertime, because I do love talking
about the brain.
But it was just so fascinatingto me.
Like you, you're like, wow,Volkswagen convertibles
everywhere.
To me it was that same, just soreal, Like I really was stunned
that I was seeing so manypregnant people.
(13:33):
But to go back to yours, it waslike what I'm hearing you say,
when you were like wanting thisconvertible Volkswagen and all
this is showing up.
It was like you could feel itas a real possibility for
yourself, Right, and to me thatthat is the biggest key and the
(13:55):
biggest difference betweenbelieving that it's manifest
You're manifesting it foryourself, truly believing it,
feeling that and an affirmation.
I don't know about you and Iprobably have said this on the
podcast before, but affirmationsnever worked for me and I want
(14:18):
to caveat that with.
I thought that if I believedwhat others told me, you've got
to say it a lot like three timesa day or whatever.
Three times, six times,whatever the numbers are.
You know, if you do that, thenit'll happen, It'll come true.
And I did.
(14:39):
I was a good girl and I didwhat I was told and I kept track
of it because I wanted to makesure.
And you know, money flowseasily to me was my mantra Money
flows easily to me, Money flowseasily to me.
But I didn't really believe itbecause the proof of my bank
account was that that was nottrue.
And but money's hard to come bywas a true statement.
(15:04):
For me, it's like, oh my God,there's more month at the end of
my paycheck.
You know, it was just all thetypical statements that people
make, Right?
So you know saying those wordsum, you know whether it's money,
or like I'm strong, or you know, whatever the phrase is, as an
(15:26):
affirmation that you don't trulybelieve.
And I think that's the key Ifyou say an affirmation and you
truly believe it, go for it.
Like I'm not doggingaffirmations themselves, I'm
suggesting we pay attention tohow we feel when we say them.
Are we believing them?
Because what I discovered wasfor me, it has to be different,
(15:53):
Like for me to do the moneything.
I would have to say, instead oflike the mantra, it would be
more like the excitement of, ooh, show me opportunities where I
can make more money today.
That felt uplifting andexciting versus, I'll just say,
(16:16):
like the more negative feeling Iwould feel after saying money
comes easily to me because I'mlying to myself.
My self knows right, I can'tlie to myself.
And so to say those words moneycomes easily to me felt bad,
wrong, not true.
Saying, oh, show me opportunitywhere I can make money or that
(16:38):
where something else is going tohappen.
That felt exciting anduplifting and it also gave my
brain something to look for.
Oh, it's like a little puzzle.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Oh, where is that?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
at Right.
I want to go find that.
And then I can feel like awinner because I'm like that's
an opportunity, yeah, that.
And then I can feel like awinner because I'm like that's
an opportunity, yay, I wonbecause I found it.
And then I can go pursue thatopportunity and and now it
happens all the time like I justlike there's also opportunities
that pop up that I don't want.
So I'm like, nope, not that one.
And I have that choice againwhether or not I want to go in
(17:10):
that direction.
Because then I'm choosing if Ido go in that direction I can
make money, but I'm it's takingme away from the direction I
want to go in right.
So now I'm like, okay, good,but I've got opportunities all
over the place.
They just they show up becauseI ask for the opportunities to
be seen.
I get to focus on that, so yeah,right, right, and, and I do.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I think that's a perfect example.
I mean, I keep bringing this upabout being impeccable with
your word.
Yes, Because you have to have alevel of authenticity and
honesty with yourself with thewords that you use, right?
(17:57):
And so if you don't have thatconnection with yourself or if
you don't even take the time toyou know so, like in those
situations like with the, withthe money situation that I had
and I had another one today, butthe money situation that I had
(18:19):
I had to stop and have thatawareness of the words that I
was using.
So part of your self-love andyour self-care is to listen to
yourself, Take the time tolisten to your words, have the
curiosity of how is that landingfor me, how is that landing in
the universe?
What does that?
(18:39):
Does that?
Do those words help or hurt me?
And having that level ofcuriosity and connection with
your true self and your valuesand your awareness of self-care
and self-love is what's gonnaguide your decision in.
Does that help or hurt?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, is it taking you closer or further away?
Is it expansive or restrictive?
Yeah, and it's like just thephrase be impeccable with your
word kind of sounds like don'tlie, but it goes so much deeper
and just what you're saying tointernalize it like okay, if
you're going to use the don'tlie part, then don't lie to
(19:21):
yourself, because you can't foolyourself.
Yourself knows right.
So, yeah, it's so beneficial.
And to pay attention to howimpeccable am I being in every
situation which almost soundslike overwhelming.
And I can't do that.
Yes, you can, yes, you must.
(19:43):
If you want to live that lifeand I do, because I find the
more impeccable I am with myword, the easier it becomes, and
it's actually the less stress Ihave, because then I don't have
to remember other things likewhat did I say or was I nice to
that person when I really didn'treally like what was going on?
(20:04):
But I didn't want to upset thatlike it doesn't.
It's not that I'm mean or rude,I'm just more true to the life
I want to live.
You know which I?
You know, whatever my life,whatever my choices are, it's
just I'm more clean and insideof myself and so it feels what
(20:26):
is, what is it?
It's a higher vibration to be,there.
It takes a minute, but it'sworth the minute.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, and one of the things that you know that I
always talk about is baby steps,yes.
So I invite us the audience,the listener to start with two
words yes and no.
Just start with two words.
So, when you say yes, make sureit's a true yes.
(20:57):
When you say no, make sure it'sa true.
No, make sure that you are.
When you say yes, it is alignedwith what your true belief is,
that you really want to say yes,that's self-care and self-love,
and when you say no.
You know, make sure that you'retruly aligned with that.
(21:19):
You know, is that self-care orthat's self-care and self-love?
I say no sometimes when Ireally want to say yes, but I
feel like I can't be a goodsouthern girl if I say yes,
can't be a good Southern girl ifI say yes.
I mean those kinds of things.
You know, if it's somethingthat I say no to because
(21:41):
everybody else mama and themthink I should say no to it, but
I really want to do it, youknow.
Think about that.
So just think about two words,yes and no, and how you can be,
you know, true to yourself withthose two words.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Well, let's take it just one step farther.
Let's say somebody does startdoing that and they're like I
need to pay attention to that.
I'm going to start like reallylooking at my absolute yes or my
absolute no, or am I not beingabsolute and I'm just saying yes
and no randomly because I thinkI'm supposed to?
And let's say, they get to thatpoint where they're like okay,
(22:19):
I'm noticing and I'm saying yeswhen really I don't want to do
it, or I'm saying no, what mightbe a baby step that they could
take either in that moment orlater, whatever, I don't know.
I'm kind of delivering to youto help them move toward a more
(22:42):
absolute yes, or that they canbe more true to themselves
whether they're saying yes or no.
But do you get what I'm asking?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah.
And what helped me when Istarted doing this is like just
asking myself the questionbefore I said yes or no is this
an absolute yes, is this anabsolute no?
If this is not an absolute yes,why is it not?
I may still say yes, but ifthis is not an absolute yes,
(23:13):
what are the consequences?
And why am I saying this?
Why what?
It is just asking the questionwhy am I saying yes or why am I
saying no?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
so that might, it makes sense.
I'm just, I'm putting myself inthe shoes of the person that has
not had the experience of beingthat clear and that absolute,
especially if it's like yourmom's asking you the question to
do something and you're like,oh God, you know, my family
member, whatever, but like itfeels like a lot to be able to
(23:44):
like go through that manyquestions in the moment.
So in my experience, I, you know, I've learned that I've I had
to go through a number, whateverthe number is, but I had to go
through some number of times ofsaying yes when I wanted to say
no and thinking about it like athome or later on or whatever,
(24:06):
and kind of start putting someframeworks into place so that
the next time it came up to seewhere I was and could I still
say, could I say no this time,and eventually I got to where I
could say no.
It didn't happen overnight,though.
No, no, no, okay, it took aminute, well, many minutes, but
you know so many times before Icould say no, but you know that
(24:30):
that is that phrase is termed asmoral courage.
And it's getting to the point ofrecognizing your own worth, to
the point of I may have to sayno to someone that's going to be
really challenged with mesaying no, they're not going to
want to hear that.
But I have to honor who I amand what's also right for me as
(24:56):
an individual.
And I'll give you a reallyquick story, I guess, if you
will.
I was taking care of my mom.
She has dementia, but I'mreally not the right person for
caregiving.
That's not a strong suit.
I'm a task-oriented person andI found that out not because I
(25:17):
took a test or whatever, but Ireally wondered why I felt
different and why all theseother people could sit around
and chat all day long but I justwanted to go, like let's just
go clean the house or go to thegrocery store, like that has
been part of my life.
I even wondered about certainjobs that I took, like why did I
like that job so much?
It turned out it was a taskoriented job and I realized, wow
(25:38):
, that is actually a strengthfor me, like I'm really good at
it and you know that, deborah,because you're like you do that,
because I'll take on thoseparts of the podcast, because
I'm good at that part.
So I'm watching my mom know,caring for my mom I'm living at
that house and they're justthere comes a point.
(25:59):
It took a while, took years,okay, to get to the point where
I said, where I was able to tellmy family and they lost their
freaking mind.
But I was able to get to thepoint of being absolutely clear
about I love my mom.
But being the caregiver of herperson goes so antithesis to who
(26:21):
I am that we both have a badexperience.
She's frustrated, I'mfrustrated.
I'm good at taking care of allthe fine print, the legal, the
medical, all of that stuff thatmost people don't like doing.
I don't like it, but I'm betterat it.
So my sister and I ended upgetting to the point where she
(26:41):
started taking care of my momand my mom actually blossomed
with her because there's familythere, grandkids are coming in
and out the house and all kindsof things are going on that she
loves because she's a peopleperson.
My mom is where with me, I'misolating, trying to run a
(27:04):
business and I like to read, youknow, like all these things
where it's very individual, andmy mom would be like let's be
together and I'm like.
But I know, but I knew I had to.
But then it was challenging forme because it's not just my
natural proclivity, right.
So to be knowledgeable ofwhat's genuine for you, not
trying to hurt anybody, notgetting over on anybody, not
(27:25):
egotistical, just knowing deeplywho you are and what's right
for you helps bring you forward,to be able to get to the point
of saying no, and more than justno.
You know it is more than that.
But even if you have to likeslowly say, you know I'm saying
(27:46):
yes this time, but maybe nexttime you could ask somebody else
because I really don't want todo this anymore.
So it's, you're easing into itso that it isn't just a blatant
but.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Well, one thing that I and you know, and I totally
agree with all of that, totally.
But I also know that there'ssomething that you can do in the
moment.
So one of the things that Ilike to do is and this is a baby
step, and it's a well-receivedbaby step step is when I'm asked
(28:19):
a question that's a yes or no,I'll say, well, I don't know,
let me think about it.
Well, that you know, and so Igive myself the space to think
about it.
I give them an answer, so youknow I don't an answer, so that
they know that I'm reallyhonoring their question.
(28:41):
But I'm honoring their questionand I'm honoring my sovereignty
.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I don't want to say sovereignty, sovereignty, but
myself, it is what's beautifulabout that, deborah, I think,
even though people that you'rechanging from might be a little
frustrated because it meansthey've got to change a little
bit and they may not want tochange right.
But what you're actually doingis you're setting yourself up
(29:15):
for respect, right?
They're like to change fromgoing sure, okay, when you don't
want to say yes and saying,well, let me think about it.
Or I think I have somethingplanned, let me check my
calendar.
Whatever words you want to use.
A person wants to use let's theother person know that you have
value as well.
(29:35):
Right.
Wants to use lets the otherperson know that you have value
as well, right.
And so now you're saying I, Iam answering you, I'm respecting
that part of you, I'm going toget back with you, I am going to
give you an answer, and we needto give that person an answer,
even if it's the wrong answerfor them.
Yeah, what's the right answerfor us?
Right comes if you want it,right.
(29:55):
And this again, beingimpeccable, I guess, with your
word, but being impeccable withyourself, which shows up in
words and thoughts and thingslike that.
So, and actions, yeah, oh,absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
So, um, yeah, self-love, self-care love it,
love, love it, love it, love it.
Baby steps yes and no.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
So I think that we are wrapping this up, yes, yes,
good, and so I want to thankeverybody for the loves, the
likes, the comments, all thesharing.
You guys, it's just amazingwatching things grow because we
do this, because we justabsolutely love it.
Things grow because we do this,because we just absolutely love
it, and when you let us knowthat you're loving it too,
(30:39):
through those things, we just weknow what you're looking for.
We want to do more of that.
So we thank you so so much, andalways.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
We invite you to love and care for the Shiro in you
Love and care for the Shiro inyou.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I had to say it Couldn't help it.
Bye, y'all all right, bye.
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