August 7, 2024 • 27 mins
Hey there! In this episode, we're diving into the oh-so-relatable topic of mom guilt. As a first-time mom myself (and currently pregnant with baby #2!), I totally get how overwhelming those feelings can be.
We're joined by the wonderful Catherine Wilde, founder of Soul Care Mom, who shares some super helpful insights on dealing with mom guilt and the importance of self-care. We chat about how mom guilt shows up in different ways, from feeling bad about taking time for yourself to worrying about dividing attention between kids.
Catherine gives us some great tips on reframing those guilty thoughts and sprinkling self-care throughout our day - even if it's just for a few minutes! We also talk about how self-care needs change with different seasons of motherhood and life.
Whether you're a new mom or a seasoned pro, this episode is packed with relatable moments and practical advice to help you navigate mom guilt and make time for yourself. So grab a cup of coffee (or tea!) and join us for this refreshing and supportive conversation. Trust me, you won't want to miss it!
Hope you enjoyed this episode!
Remember we'll be back twice a month with more fun shananagins. Be sure to follow us so you don't miss a beat!
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Here's to Getting it Together one day at a time,
Jessica & Samantha
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It doesn't have to, you know, be a big chunk of time
.
It can live in the littlemoments of your day and that's
actually really powerful becausethen you're always filling that
cup.
So if you imagine like a leakyfaucet and you put a cup under
it, you walk, you know it'sdripping, the water's dripping
into this cup, you walk away andyou come back like each little
drop filled that cup to tillit's.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You know about to overflow and so that's what's
happening when we sprinkle ourdays with self-care.
Right, we do these littlethings and they're filling that
cup.
Hi everyone, and welcome to abrand new episode of she's Got
it Together.
I'm your host, Jessica.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
And I'm Samantha.
Each week we peel back thecurtain on what it really looks
like to have it together.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
From the messy moments to the milestones, we're
here to share it all.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
So grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's dive
into today's topic.
Hey guys, I'm Samantha and I'mhere with our co-host, jessica,
and the lovely Katherine Wild,and today we are going to talk a
little bit about mom guilt.
I know like as a new mom, I'veexperienced mom guilt.
(01:07):
As a seasoned mom, weexperienced mom guilt and just
like being able to sprinkle ourday with self-care I think is so
huge and just being able totake that time for yourself.
So Catherine's going to share alittle bit about that with us
today.
So I'm going to turn it over toCatherine and do you want to
just tell us a little bit aboutthat with us today?
So I'm going to turn it over toCatherine and do you want to
(01:29):
just tell us a little?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
bit about yourself and your background.
Sure, first of all, thank youso much for having me here.
I'm so excited to chat with youabout mom guilt.
It's such a big topic for somany of us as moms.
But yeah, I'm Catherine Wild.
I'm a homeschooling mom ofthree girls and the founder of
Soul Care Mom and thebest-selling author of
Reclaiming your Inner Sparkle,and I am so, so passionate about
(01:50):
helping women define themselvesagain in motherhood to be able
to carve out time to do thethings that they love without
the mom guilt, all while beingthe mom that they want to be.
And I truly believe that youcan feel calm and find your
unshakable confidence as a momwhen you first care for yourself
.
So I'm excited to explore thiswith you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I love that.
I'm so excited too because Ifeel like this is definitely
going to like help me too,because I'm a first time mom.
I'm to my 18th, my little sonBo, and then I'm also pregnant.
Now I'm six months pregnantwith a baby girl.
So we have, like I have allthis time with my son, and now
I'm like a little worried aboutlike giving up all that you know
one-on-one time with him forthe new baby coming in and how
(02:34):
he's going to handle it, and soI feel like there's also like
that kind of level of mom guilttoo, like, oh, am I not going to
have enough time for myfirstborn?
But if you just want to explaina little bit about what mom
guilt is, I think that'd bereally helpful for some of our
listeners.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
So we've all heard of guilt, but mom guilt is this
feeling of doubt or worry, orthis insecurity that so many of
us experience about our choicesand actions as it relates to
motherhood, and it can manifestin a variety of ways.
So you know, feeling guilty fortaking time for yourself,
feeling like a bad parent, right, like you're saying, like how
will I manage this time betweentwo kids.
(03:15):
Feeling guilty for not doingeverything we think we should.
And mom guilt can stem, youknow, from external pressures,
societal expectations, thisfeeling like we need to maintain
the perfect home, cook healthymeals, raise well-behaved
children, also juggling thecareer and other
responsibilities, this pressureto say yes to all of the things
(03:37):
and it can also be known aspeople pleasing too Like that
can help there as well.
But mom guilt can be feel sooverwhelming and you, we might
even feel guilty about wantingto let go of mom guilt, because
we've been kind of taught thatfeeling guilty and worrying
about everything when it comesto parenting is the sign of
being a good parent.
So there can even be thisconflict there.
(03:59):
And then guilt, you know,around self-care can show up too
.
When you're craving, you know,doing something for yourself,
whether it's just resting ordoing something creative, or
maybe you want to take some timeto work out or take a nap,
right, try out a new hobby.
But even considering thesethings sometimes can bring up
guilt.
Like I really should bespending time with my kids, or
(04:21):
there's so much to do around thehouse I couldn't possibly take
time for myself, right, kids?
or there's so much to do aroundthe house I couldn't possibly
take time for myself, right.
And then there's built aroundasking for help.
So maybe you know, yourecognize there's so much to do.
It'd be so great to have somehelp, um, so you could have time
for self-care.
But there might be thesecompeting thoughts like asking
for help is a sign of weakness.
You know, I should really beable to do this all myself.
Um, yeah, so there's so much,that much that can encompass mom
(04:43):
guilt.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah, I feel like that in itself can make it so
overwhelming for moms, becausethey are thinking all these
different forms of mom guiltshow up and you're just trying
to figure it out, especially asa first-time mom or a seasoned
mom.
I think everyone experiencesmom guilt and you can experience
it in different ways.
And just the whole self-carebit.
(05:05):
It's like you feel guilty whenyou just need a minute, or I
just need this, like you know,15 minute walk, or this 30
minute workout, or you know Ijust want to like catch up with
friends and go to brunch.
Like you feel bad for wantingthat time like for yourself,
away from your kids or yourspouse, and you're trying to
figure out is it okay that Iwant to have this time away?
(05:28):
But when you think about it, ifyou don't have that time for
yourself and if you're notmaking yourself a priority,
you're not going to show up foryour kids or your family 100%.
You're going to be cranky orresentful or tired or you're
just like you will take thingsout on them because you're not
getting that time for yourself.
So like it's actually a benefitto have that like make that
(05:52):
time for yourself because ithelps your family too, but as
women, as moms, it's almost likea double-edged sword, like you
have to try to figure out how tomake that part of your day
without feeling guilty about it.
So I think this is like such agreat conversation for us to
have.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, definitely.
I mean that balance is hard tojuggle for sure, especially, you
know, when you have so manyother things going on that
should be getting done.
That might not be getting donebecause you're taking the time,
you know, just for yourself fora moment, but I noticed that I'm
more present If I do thosethings.
You know, when I'm actuallywith my family or I'm working on
(06:28):
a project, I'm more present,more focused, more in.
You know the moment for that.
So everything goes faster,everything goes better, you know
.
So really taking that littlebit of time out for yourself
seems like it's made up by that,by the projects going faster or
going faster, or the momentsbeing better.
So I don't think we should beguilty, but I always am.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I think that was.
I mean both of you, like Sam,that was so beautifully said and
Jessica, I can relate so much.
And that's like a little knownproductivity hack, right, like
there's all these like differenttime hacks and things.
But when you really take thattime to like, I like to picture
like a cup, right, any sort ofcup, like your favorite coffee
(07:14):
mug or or your water bottle, andwhen you, when you start to
take that time to to fill it updrop by drop, and that's by
taking care of yourself, that'sby taking that walk that you,
you're craving, that's by doingthat creative activity and as
you fill up this cup, then youactually have something to give.
Right, you have something topour from, and so often we're
(07:34):
trying to pour from this emptycup, right, just literally
trying to, you know, pour fromnothing.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
It's like nothing's coming out.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Exactly so.
That's how powerful it is toyou know, take time to navigate
the mom guilt so that you cantake that time for yourself and
feel good about it too, you know?
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Absolutely so, like when you are like having those
thoughts of mom guilt, like howdo you handle that?
To kind of get yourself out ofthat mindset and into a more you
know, productive mindset whereyou can be okay with you know
the thoughts that you're having.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
That's such a great question, yeah, so you know,
when you first start to note,you know, simply noticing like,
oh, okay, mom guilt's coming upfor me, or maybe even noticing,
are there certain situationswhere it comes up for you often,
you know, and then, as youbring awareness to that feeling
of mom guilt, you can start toexplore, like, where is this
idea coming from and is itactually serving me?
(08:32):
Um, is it empowering me?
You know, and more often thannot, it's an idea that we've
been given, um, that isn't inalignment with how we want to
show up for our kids, forourselves.
It does this.
That's why it doesn't feel goodwithin us, right?
So if, there, you know, ifthat's the case and you're it's
no longer serving you, you cantake a moment to lovingly
(08:52):
explore, like a more empoweringstory so, what a thought.
So all of our thoughts and our,our feelings are linked, right?
So when you feel that feelingof mom guilt, tracing it to the
thought and then noticing, okay,is this how I want to think,
because that's a reallyempowering thing to know, is
that you can change that thoughtand that's like it's amazing,
(09:13):
right, but it takes a little bitof pausing, a little bit of
introspection, so noticing whatis the thought and do I want to
keep this thought, or what wouldbe more helpful so we can look
at some ideas.
So, if you know, maybesomething you're thinking is I
must do everything perfectly orI'm a bad mother, right?
Something more empowering mightbe I'm doing my best, my best is
(09:34):
enough, it's okay to makemistakes, right, perfection
isn't required to be a wonderfulmother, right, you can decide
if it feels good in your body,and that's how you'll know if
it's, if it's a thought that ismore in alignment with you
because it'll feel better inyour body.
Right, it's believable and itfeels better.
And so, um, or maybe you knowyou're thinking a good mom
(09:54):
doesn't get frustrated, doesn'tget angry with her children,
doesn't yell, um, and so maybeyou can explore something like
feeling a range of emotions,including frustration, is
natural and human.
It's how I handle these thingsthat matters, right?
So, um, exploring different, um, thoughts that feel better.
And then, as you program,reprogram, right, um, what
(10:18):
you're telling yourself, you'llstart to notice a shift in how
you think, it's shifting how youshow up, a shift in how you're
able to take that time foryourself.
Right, it's really powerful,yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I love that.
I think just it's so powerfulknowing like you can change that
thought that you're having intoa more positive one, because I
think that's it's like as moms,like your mind's constantly
going, like you're trying to goto sleep and you're thinking
about all these things that youhave to do or that you didn't
get to today or that you have todo tomorrow, and just being
(10:48):
able to like change thatnarrative and turn things into a
more positive approach is so isso helpful, because then you do
kind of like slowly releasethat guilt and that feeling of
you know maybe not being enoughor not getting enough done or
not not being enough or notgetting enough done or not.
I wasn't the best version oflike myself today, but you can
kind of just be more aware ofjust like more self-aware that
(11:10):
you can change that and liketomorrow's a new day and things
are going to get better.
So I love that.
I think this also like is agood time to kind of talk about
self-care and how important thatis for, like your mental health
and like helping with mom guiltand like how, like how do you
(11:32):
find that time?
How do you make that time eachday to give yourself that little
bit of self-care that you mightneed so that you can be, like,
more positive and have a betteroutlook on and like.
Obviously, not every day isgoing to be perfect and you
might not get self-care foryourself every day, or it might
look a little different everyday, but is there a way that you
(11:53):
find that is helpful for you,that allows you to get that
self-care that you need?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, so self-care was a huge part of my journey
and you know, it's this termthat we hear really often.
It's like importance kind ofgets lost, you know, and I had
to convince myself that.
You know, devoting time tomyself, devoting time to my
needs, was this luxury that Icouldn't afford.
It was selfish, but I slowlystarted to realize that, you
(12:21):
know, by neglecting myself likewe talked about that cup right,
I was, I was depleting myreservoir of energy, of patience
, of love, everything that Ineeded to be the mom that I
wanted to be, and so I startedjust playing with, doing little
things for myself.
So it might've just even beenpausing, placing my hand over my
heart and taking a deep breath.
It might've been going to get acup of water or make a cup of
(12:42):
tea, or, instead of doing thedishes, I would just pause and
read a chapter of a book, right?
Something really simple.
It didn't have to take a lot oftime, it didn't have to cost a
lot of money, right, like it waslittle things that I noticed
that I was feeling better, I waskinder with myself, I was more
patient with my kids.
Yeah, not despite my self-care,but because of it.
(13:05):
So, yeah, if, if you arestruggling with this and you
have this idea that you knowself-care needs, I need a whole
hour, you know, and that'samazing too.
So, like, if you can go to thespa, whatever it is, go to the
grocery store by yourself, it'samazing.
Um, it doesn't have to, youknow, be a big chunk of time.
It can live in the littlemoments of your day.
It doesn't have to, you know,be a big chunk of time.
(13:26):
It can live in the littlemoments of your day.
And that's actually reallypowerful, because then you're
always filling that cup, right?
So if you imagine, like a leakyfaucet and you put a cup under
it, you walk, you know it'sdripping, the water's dripping
into this cup, you walk away andyou come back like each little
drop filled that cup to tillit's you know about to overflow,
and so that's what's happeningwhen we sprinkle our days with
self-care, right, we do theselittle things and they're
filling that cup.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I love that.
I think when people think ofself-care, a lot of the times
they think of like oh, I need aspa day, oh, I need like all
this time it costs money, ableto visualize like the whole
sprinkle it through your day ishuge because it doesn't have to
be this big gesture, this long,like day long spa day or all
(14:10):
these things that can just belike maybe waking up like 30
minutes before your kids to getlike some journaling in.
It can be like instead of doingthe dishes, I just need a minute
, I'm going to go take a breakand read a chapter of a book.
It can be just going for a walkfor 10 minutes.
If you can't get a 30 minutewalk in, do a 10 minute walk
Like it's.
Like it might not look the sameevery day and maybe, like in a
(14:33):
season of time, your self-caremight be a little shorter or
smaller or sparse in times, butyou know it's still there.
So I think that's really big islike self-care doesn't have to
be this big, expensive gestureor this long amount of time.
It can just be like a minutelong, something that makes you
(14:53):
feel better.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I think that's an interesting point, though, with
the season that you know.
I mean I think the needs ofself-care change throughout the
seasons.
I mean whether it's the seasonswith our kids, you know,
younger to older, or literallythe seasons of the year.
I mean sometimes in the winterwe just need more self-care,
(15:15):
like we just need because wehave winter blues or whatever it
might be we just need a littlebit more care for ourselves,
whereas in the summer it justyou've got the sunshine.
It's like every time you gooutside it's a little bit of
self-care.
You know, yeah, you'reabsorbing that, so you might not
need as much then, but I, yeah,I think that is interesting how
it just kind of what you needchanges for many different
(15:37):
reasons.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I love that point about the seasons of motherhood
and of just the year.
Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, yeah, I think when, just like because we've
been doing like different, likepodcast recordings and stuff
today, and then my parents arehere watching Bo, my son, and
then they took him to the park.
So when I like had a break, Ilike came out and they weren't
here and then I'm like, huh,what do I do?
Like I have like 30 minutes oftime where I can just like do
(16:10):
nothing.
So I like went outside to mydeck and I just like laid like,
I was just like sitting in thechair in the sun, because it's a
beautiful sunny day today, andI'm just like, huh, this is nice
.
Like you know, like this feelslike yeah, and I'm like you know
like this doesn't feel likeyeah, and I'm like you know I
should like do this every day.
Like when Bo is like taking anap, I'm like I should be able
to come and sit outside and justlike read a chapter of a book
or like just like scrollmindlessly on my phone if I want
(16:32):
to, or just do nothing.
So I'm like, I'm just like inthis little self-care sprinkling
era, I feel like all of asudden, I'm like this is great,
I'm getting in the groove here,I'm like this is okay, I like
this, this is fun.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
And that makes me think too, like you were saying,
like every day can lookdifferent too.
So this morning, like I wasfeeling a little slow, like I
didn't feel like I had theenergy that I usually have in
the morning, and so I took iteasier.
So as part of my morningroutine, I try to do some sort
of movement, and so today I juststretched and I used my roller
(17:11):
and just stretched and breathed,and so it can look different in
that way too.
We don't have to be so hard onourselves in it looking a
certain way every single day.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, we definitely build up this image in her mind
and try to, you know, createthat.
And if it doesn't like, my bigdownfall is if something does
not work out as I've pictured it, then I'm not happy, you know,
it's like it almost feels likeyou failed or whatever but yeah
it's, it's that all or nothingmentality for sure, and it's not
(17:44):
how I should be thinking.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, well, you're not alone.
Like yeah, there's expectations, like the picture that I have
in my head of how things shouldgo, and then being disappointed
when it doesn't, or feeling likeI failed when it doesn't.
Yeah, yeah, that can be, thatcan be disempowering.
Or you know, like yeah, youlose steam.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah, yeah, and I think too, like having, like, if
you have a morning routine orlike a schedule that you kind of
follow, like, is that like morehelpful where you can kind of
like expect, kind of like likethis is just kind of like how
our day looks.
I know you kind of have to beflexible and things are going to
(18:25):
change, but does having amorning routine kind of help
with making time for theself-care and making a little
bit more be more self-aware ofthe mom guilt, Because you do
kind of know what the routine is, what the day looks like, but
know that there are going to be,I'm sure, some bumps in the
road.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
But do you?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
find having a routine helps at all.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Oh, yeah, yeah, for myself, um, as far as self-care,
it helps.
And then just, we homeschool inthat way too.
Like my girls have an idea ofthe flow of the day.
You know they'll ask questionsabout any different days or
different, but, um, I think thathelps so much and it helps with
like decision fatigue too, youknow, like not having to decide
like this is how this day isgoing to go, and, yeah, you
(19:06):
already have so many questionsto answer and so many things.
Yeah, so for me it really helps.
And so what I love to teach asfar as morning routines is this,
just this three step formula.
It's a framework so that youcan plug in what feels good to
you, because what I found wassometimes, when I was taking
time for myself, I wasn't, um, Iwasn't really present in it, I
(19:28):
wasn't really nourishing all ofme, and so I would leave that
self-care time feeling stillpretty depleted.
So, um, what I like to do andwhat I like to encourage, is
starting your day with just somegentle movement.
So you know you've beensleeping, you wake up, move your
body in some way, whether youlove going for walks or whether
you just want to stretch or dosome yoga or whatever that looks
(19:50):
like for you that day?
Um, and then, like you weresaying, taking time for
journaling and sitting down, um,whatever your meditation
practice looks like, or prayer,um, you know, just getting
really still with yourself,because a lot of times the day
is so noisy and our minds arenoisy, and when we can slow down
enough and, you know, turn downthat volume a little, so much
(20:13):
is able to come through.
You know, like ideas,inspiration and creativity, and,
um, yeah, just so much can comethrough.
And so then to just taking itcan be five minutes, right,
taking some deep breaths,listening to a beautiful song or
guided meditation, and thenwriting, um, whatever that looks
like.
Maybe it's journaling whatyou're grateful for, maybe it's
journaling what came up for youduring your meditation.
(20:35):
Um, just a few minutes to dosomething that brings you joy,
those things that like, yeah,reading that book, or whatever
it is.
Maybe you like to paintsomething?
Um, yeah, knit, it can beanything, but just spending a
few minutes on that, if you can.
And, of course, like, if you,if you've got a newborn and this
is all broken up, you can, youcan make that fit throughout
(20:56):
your day too, right, it doesn'tall have to be in one chunk
either, but um, but, yeah I,that's how I love to start my
days in one chunk either.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
But but yeah, I that's how I love to start my
days.
I think that's a good pointthat you just made too, because,
like, I'm about ready to have,you know, in August, an infant,
a newborn baby.
So it's like your mornings,your day, like your days are
going to look different.
It's going to change.
So it's like when your kids area little older or like you're
done having kids and like youkind of get into the groove in
this like morning routine, it'seasier to kind of have like a
(21:25):
scheduled like session in themorning or something, but it's a
good point that it doesn't haveto necessarily be in the
morning.
If you can't fit it in in themorning, as long as you get it
in sometime throughout the day,just to kind of make that time
for yourself.
You know it's still just asimportant whether it's in the
morning or sometimes people liketo journal at night and talk
about how their day went, sothat they're more present for
(21:46):
the next day and things thatthey could, you know, improve on
or do better, or you know,however you want to look at it.
So I think it's important thatit doesn't have to look the same
every day or, like with theseasons, like when you have
certain times throughout yourlife where maybe, like you have
to change your routine and youhave to be more flexible.
Like that's okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, yeah.
It's all about just settingyourself, Like when you're
helping your child learn to usethe potty.
You do your best to set them upfor success right, you're going
to have a little potty nearby.
You're going to have the extraclothes, you're going to have
all the things, and so how canwe do that for ourselves?
Maybe it's if we want to go fora walk, can we lay out the
clothes?
If we are in the newborn seasonand it's really hard for us to
(22:27):
get even a minute, can we askyou know our partner, for you
know, 30 minutes every day whenhe?
comes home, you know, whateverthat looks like so that you can
have that time for yourself and,just like you, would, you know,
schedule the dentistappointment and you would show
up for that.
Right, we want to do that forourselves, too, because that's
(22:48):
how important it is.
As we I think we've hit onreally well.
Here is how we care forourselves, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
And I think that's great.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Yeah, you know just making sure that you're
scheduling, because it's notjust going to happen.
Like you have to activelycreate the time for this.
I think that's important toremember.
Have to actively create thetime for this.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
I think that's important to remember.
Yeah, and being able to likelean on your spouse or your
partner or your family, likeyour support system, being able
to kind of like bring them inand like, I think, as moms, as
women, like you said, sometimesit can be seen or we make it up
in our head that it's a weaknessto ask for help and we, if we
can't handle all the things, andlike we're failing as a mother
or as a partner, and it's okayto ask for help, like it's
(23:27):
encouraged to ask for help forfor you and yourself and being
able to lean on them in times ofyou know, those seasons that
are a little tougher where youcan't always get that time for
yourself in, but it's so neededLike asking.
Like I could ask my sister hey,can you like I like just needed
to like take a shower when Bowas born?
I'm like I have no time, can Ijust she just came over so I
(23:48):
could take a shower.
I'm like thank you so much.
You know, like, just likelittle things like that, being
able to just like reach out to afriend, any kind of support
system, and they can help youthrough those tougher times is,
I think, important for people toknow too, because it's
definitely not a sign ofweakness.
I think it's a sign of strengthand you being able to say, hey,
(24:08):
I need help and this is likewhat I need, and yeah, you're
recognizing it.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, just recognizing that.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Oh, I love that you asked your sister for help.
I was not worried about thatthe first time around, but, yeah
, just those little things wheresomebody makes you a meal and
they bring it over, like thatmeans the world, you know.
Yeah, the little booties andall those things are so cute,
but like the real gift is likewhen you can offer, yeah, a way
to support them after the babyis born.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Yeah, I know, and it's like my mom was here, which
was so nice she came, and so,and it's like my mom was here,
which was so nice she came, andso like she's like I'll like
just help with the laundry andlike I can make you dinner and
like if you need to sleep, I canwatch the baby.
So it's like that like firstweek of help is so huge and I
think sometimes, like as a newmom, you might think I have to,
I have to be able to do this allmyself.
(24:58):
I have to be able to have itall together and, like you know,
my husband doesn't know how todo anything or they're doing it
all wrong, and it's like no,they're there to help you.
Like this is new to both of you.
You can lean on other people,it's okay.
So I've done more than one waytoo.
Yes, that's the other thing.
Try not to micromanage, but itis.
(25:18):
It's funny too, because I likekeep, I'm like thinking about
how it was when I had Bo, andnow that I'm having, you know,
another baby, I'm like I, I'mhoping, like I can, you know,
now I have a little moreexperience, I'm like I think
I'll be better, be a little morerelaxed about it, I'll be fine.
I'll definitely be asking fortons of help.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
But, yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Well, I feel like this has just been like such a
refreshing and fun and justinformative conversation.
It's almost like this littlelike safe space that we've
created that we can talk about,like all these vulnerable things
and mom guilt and just makingtime for self-care.
So, catherine, thank you somuch for coming on today.
(26:06):
I think it's just been, youknow, you've just been such like
a bright, refreshing lighttoday.
It's been great so thank you somuch for chatting with us today.
So why don't you tell everyonewhere like they can find you?
Like what you have?
Going on, Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Thank you so much for for allowing me to be here, for
having this really importantconversation for moms and for,
yeah, I love your podcast.
I'm so excited that you guysare doing this, and I just I
mean honestly, I love partneringwith you guys in any way.
It's, it's the work, um.
But yeah, so you can find me atat soulcaremomcom, and if you
(26:48):
would like some support aroundhaving sprinkling that self-care
into your day or starting yourmorning with self-care, um, go
to soulcaremomcom.
Forward, slash, kickstart andyou can grab a free gift from me
that will help you to startyour morning with five simple
steps that you can do before youeven get out of bed so that
you're starting your morningwith that full cup.
I think you'll love it.
(27:08):
But, yeah, any, any otherresources or support that you
need, yeah, soulcare momcom isthe best place to go.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much,Catherine, and we will be back
next week with another episode.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Thanks for joining us today on.
She's Got it Together.
It's been a real journey,sharing and laughing with you
all.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
We hope you're walking away with a smile on
your face and a bit moreconfidence in your step.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Remember, you're not alone in this crazy ride called
life.
We're all in this together, oneday at a time.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review and
, of course, share this podcastwith all the incredible women in
your life.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Join us next week for more stories, more laughs and
more real talk.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Until then, keep embracing your unique journey
and remember you've got ittogether more than you think.
It doesn't have to, you know, be a big chunk of time
.
It can live in the littlemoments of your day and that's
actually really powerful becausethen you're always filling that
cup.
So if you imagine like a leakyfaucet and you put a cup under
it, you walk, you know it'sdripping, the water's dripping
into this cup, you walk away andyou come back like each little
drop filled that cup to tillit's.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You know about to overflow and so that's what's
happening when we sprinkle ourdays with self-care.
Right, we do these littlethings and they're filling that
cup.
Hi everyone, and welcome to abrand new episode of she's Got
it Together.
I'm your host, Jessica.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
And I'm Samantha.
Each week we peel back thecurtain on what it really looks
like to have it together.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
From the messy moments to the milestones, we're
here to share it all.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
So grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's dive
into today's topic.
Hey guys, I'm Samantha and I'mhere with our co-host, jessica,
and the lovely Katherine Wild,and today we are going to talk a
little bit about mom guilt.
I know like as a new mom, I'veexperienced mom guilt.
(01:07):
As a seasoned mom, weexperienced mom guilt and just
like being able to sprinkle ourday with self-care I think is so
huge and just being able totake that time for yourself.
So Catherine's going to share alittle bit about that with us
today.
So I'm going to turn it over toCatherine and do you want to
just tell us a little bit aboutthat with us today?
So I'm going to turn it over toCatherine and do you want to
(01:29):
just tell us a little?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
bit about yourself and your background.
Sure, first of all, thank youso much for having me here.
I'm so excited to chat with youabout mom guilt.
It's such a big topic for somany of us as moms.
But yeah, I'm Catherine Wild.
I'm a homeschooling mom ofthree girls and the founder of
Soul Care Mom and thebest-selling author of
Reclaiming your Inner Sparkle,and I am so, so passionate about
(01:50):
helping women define themselvesagain in motherhood to be able
to carve out time to do thethings that they love without
the mom guilt, all while beingthe mom that they want to be.
And I truly believe that youcan feel calm and find your
unshakable confidence as a momwhen you first care for yourself
.
So I'm excited to explore thiswith you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I love that.
I'm so excited too because Ifeel like this is definitely
going to like help me too,because I'm a first time mom.
I'm to my 18th, my little sonBo, and then I'm also pregnant.
Now I'm six months pregnantwith a baby girl.
So we have, like I have allthis time with my son, and now
I'm like a little worried aboutlike giving up all that you know
one-on-one time with him forthe new baby coming in and how
(02:34):
he's going to handle it, and soI feel like there's also like
that kind of level of mom guilttoo, like, oh, am I not going to
have enough time for myfirstborn?
But if you just want to explaina little bit about what mom
guilt is, I think that'd bereally helpful for some of our
listeners.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
So we've all heard of guilt, but mom guilt is this
feeling of doubt or worry, orthis insecurity that so many of
us experience about our choicesand actions as it relates to
motherhood, and it can manifestin a variety of ways.
So you know, feeling guilty fortaking time for yourself,
feeling like a bad parent, right, like you're saying, like how
will I manage this time betweentwo kids.
(03:15):
Feeling guilty for not doingeverything we think we should.
And mom guilt can stem, youknow, from external pressures,
societal expectations, thisfeeling like we need to maintain
the perfect home, cook healthymeals, raise well-behaved
children, also juggling thecareer and other
responsibilities, this pressureto say yes to all of the things
(03:37):
and it can also be known aspeople pleasing too Like that
can help there as well.
But mom guilt can be feel sooverwhelming and you, we might
even feel guilty about wantingto let go of mom guilt, because
we've been kind of taught thatfeeling guilty and worrying
about everything when it comesto parenting is the sign of
being a good parent.
So there can even be thisconflict there.
(03:59):
And then guilt, you know,around self-care can show up too
.
When you're craving, you know,doing something for yourself,
whether it's just resting ordoing something creative, or
maybe you want to take some timeto work out or take a nap,
right, try out a new hobby.
But even considering thesethings sometimes can bring up
guilt.
Like I really should bespending time with my kids, or
(04:21):
there's so much to do around thehouse I couldn't possibly take
time for myself, right, kids?
or there's so much to do aroundthe house I couldn't possibly
take time for myself, right.
And then there's built aroundasking for help.
So maybe you know, yourecognize there's so much to do.
It'd be so great to have somehelp, um, so you could have time
for self-care.
But there might be thesecompeting thoughts like asking
for help is a sign of weakness.
You know, I should really beable to do this all myself.
Um, yeah, so there's so much,that much that can encompass mom
(04:43):
guilt.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah, I feel like that in itself can make it so
overwhelming for moms, becausethey are thinking all these
different forms of mom guiltshow up and you're just trying
to figure it out, especially asa first-time mom or a seasoned
mom.
I think everyone experiencesmom guilt and you can experience
it in different ways.
And just the whole self-carebit.
(05:05):
It's like you feel guilty whenyou just need a minute, or I
just need this, like you know,15 minute walk, or this 30
minute workout, or you know Ijust want to like catch up with
friends and go to brunch.
Like you feel bad for wantingthat time like for yourself,
away from your kids or yourspouse, and you're trying to
figure out is it okay that Iwant to have this time away?
(05:28):
But when you think about it, ifyou don't have that time for
yourself and if you're notmaking yourself a priority,
you're not going to show up foryour kids or your family 100%.
You're going to be cranky orresentful or tired or you're
just like you will take thingsout on them because you're not
getting that time for yourself.
So like it's actually a benefitto have that like make that
(05:52):
time for yourself because ithelps your family too, but as
women, as moms, it's almost likea double-edged sword, like you
have to try to figure out how tomake that part of your day
without feeling guilty about it.
So I think this is like such agreat conversation for us to
have.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, definitely.
I mean that balance is hard tojuggle for sure, especially, you
know, when you have so manyother things going on that
should be getting done.
That might not be getting donebecause you're taking the time,
you know, just for yourself fora moment, but I noticed that I'm
more present If I do thosethings.
You know, when I'm actuallywith my family or I'm working on
(06:28):
a project, I'm more present,more focused, more in.
You know the moment for that.
So everything goes faster,everything goes better, you know
.
So really taking that littlebit of time out for yourself
seems like it's made up by that,by the projects going faster or
going faster, or the momentsbeing better.
So I don't think we should beguilty, but I always am.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I think that was.
I mean both of you, like Sam,that was so beautifully said and
Jessica, I can relate so much.
And that's like a little knownproductivity hack, right, like
there's all these like differenttime hacks and things.
But when you really take thattime to like, I like to picture
like a cup, right, any sort ofcup, like your favorite coffee
(07:14):
mug or or your water bottle, andwhen you, when you start to
take that time to to fill it updrop by drop, and that's by
taking care of yourself, that'sby taking that walk that you,
you're craving, that's by doingthat creative activity and as
you fill up this cup, then youactually have something to give.
Right, you have something topour from, and so often we're
(07:34):
trying to pour from this emptycup, right, just literally
trying to, you know, pour fromnothing.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
It's like nothing's coming out.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Exactly so.
That's how powerful it is toyou know, take time to navigate
the mom guilt so that you cantake that time for yourself and
feel good about it too, you know?
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Absolutely so, like when you are like having those
thoughts of mom guilt, like howdo you handle that?
To kind of get yourself out ofthat mindset and into a more you
know, productive mindset whereyou can be okay with you know
the thoughts that you're having.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
That's such a great question, yeah, so you know,
when you first start to note,you know, simply noticing like,
oh, okay, mom guilt's coming upfor me, or maybe even noticing,
are there certain situationswhere it comes up for you often,
you know, and then, as youbring awareness to that feeling
of mom guilt, you can start toexplore, like, where is this
idea coming from and is itactually serving me?
(08:32):
Um, is it empowering me?
You know, and more often thannot, it's an idea that we've
been given, um, that isn't inalignment with how we want to
show up for our kids, forourselves.
It does this.
That's why it doesn't feel goodwithin us, right?
So if, there, you know, ifthat's the case and you're it's
no longer serving you, you cantake a moment to lovingly
(08:52):
explore, like a more empoweringstory so, what a thought.
So all of our thoughts and our,our feelings are linked, right?
So when you feel that feelingof mom guilt, tracing it to the
thought and then noticing, okay,is this how I want to think,
because that's a reallyempowering thing to know, is
that you can change that thoughtand that's like it's amazing,
(09:13):
right, but it takes a little bitof pausing, a little bit of
introspection, so noticing whatis the thought and do I want to
keep this thought, or what wouldbe more helpful so we can look
at some ideas.
So, if you know, maybesomething you're thinking is I
must do everything perfectly orI'm a bad mother, right?
Something more empowering mightbe I'm doing my best, my best is
(09:34):
enough, it's okay to makemistakes, right, perfection
isn't required to be a wonderfulmother, right, you can decide
if it feels good in your body,and that's how you'll know if
it's, if it's a thought that ismore in alignment with you
because it'll feel better inyour body.
Right, it's believable and itfeels better.
And so, um, or maybe you knowyou're thinking a good mom
(09:54):
doesn't get frustrated, doesn'tget angry with her children,
doesn't yell, um, and so maybeyou can explore something like
feeling a range of emotions,including frustration, is
natural and human.
It's how I handle these thingsthat matters, right?
So, um, exploring different, um, thoughts that feel better.
And then, as you program,reprogram, right, um, what
(10:18):
you're telling yourself, you'llstart to notice a shift in how
you think, it's shifting how youshow up, a shift in how you're
able to take that time foryourself.
Right, it's really powerful,yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I love that.
I think just it's so powerfulknowing like you can change that
thought that you're having intoa more positive one, because I
think that's it's like as moms,like your mind's constantly
going, like you're trying to goto sleep and you're thinking
about all these things that youhave to do or that you didn't
get to today or that you have todo tomorrow, and just being
(10:48):
able to like change thatnarrative and turn things into a
more positive approach is so isso helpful, because then you do
kind of like slowly releasethat guilt and that feeling of
you know maybe not being enoughor not getting enough done or
not not being enough or notgetting enough done or not.
I wasn't the best version oflike myself today, but you can
kind of just be more aware ofjust like more self-aware that
(11:10):
you can change that and liketomorrow's a new day and things
are going to get better.
So I love that.
I think this also like is agood time to kind of talk about
self-care and how important thatis for, like your mental health
and like helping with mom guiltand like how, like how do you
(11:32):
find that time?
How do you make that time eachday to give yourself that little
bit of self-care that you mightneed so that you can be, like,
more positive and have a betteroutlook on and like.
Obviously, not every day isgoing to be perfect and you
might not get self-care foryourself every day, or it might
look a little different everyday, but is there a way that you
(11:53):
find that is helpful for you,that allows you to get that
self-care that you need?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, so self-care was a huge part of my journey
and you know, it's this termthat we hear really often.
It's like importance kind ofgets lost, you know, and I had
to convince myself that.
You know, devoting time tomyself, devoting time to my
needs, was this luxury that Icouldn't afford.
It was selfish, but I slowlystarted to realize that, you
(12:21):
know, by neglecting myself likewe talked about that cup right,
I was, I was depleting myreservoir of energy, of patience
, of love, everything that Ineeded to be the mom that I
wanted to be, and so I startedjust playing with, doing little
things for myself.
So it might've just even beenpausing, placing my hand over my
heart and taking a deep breath.
It might've been going to get acup of water or make a cup of
(12:42):
tea, or, instead of doing thedishes, I would just pause and
read a chapter of a book, right?
Something really simple.
It didn't have to take a lot oftime, it didn't have to cost a
lot of money, right, like it waslittle things that I noticed
that I was feeling better, I waskinder with myself, I was more
patient with my kids.
Yeah, not despite my self-care,but because of it.
(13:05):
So, yeah, if, if you arestruggling with this and you
have this idea that you knowself-care needs, I need a whole
hour, you know, and that'samazing too.
So, like, if you can go to thespa, whatever it is, go to the
grocery store by yourself, it'samazing.
Um, it doesn't have to, youknow, be a big chunk of time.
It can live in the littlemoments of your day.
It doesn't have to, you know,be a big chunk of time.
(13:26):
It can live in the littlemoments of your day.
And that's actually reallypowerful, because then you're
always filling that cup, right?
So if you imagine, like a leakyfaucet and you put a cup under
it, you walk, you know it'sdripping, the water's dripping
into this cup, you walk away andyou come back like each little
drop filled that cup to tillit's you know about to overflow,
and so that's what's happeningwhen we sprinkle our days with
self-care, right, we do theselittle things and they're
filling that cup.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I love that.
I think when people think ofself-care, a lot of the times
they think of like oh, I need aspa day, oh, I need like all
this time it costs money, ableto visualize like the whole
sprinkle it through your day ishuge because it doesn't have to
be this big gesture, this long,like day long spa day or all
(14:10):
these things that can just belike maybe waking up like 30
minutes before your kids to getlike some journaling in.
It can be like instead of doingthe dishes, I just need a minute
, I'm going to go take a breakand read a chapter of a book.
It can be just going for a walkfor 10 minutes.
If you can't get a 30 minutewalk in, do a 10 minute walk
Like it's.
Like it might not look the sameevery day and maybe, like in a
(14:33):
season of time, your self-caremight be a little shorter or
smaller or sparse in times, butyou know it's still there.
So I think that's really big islike self-care doesn't have to
be this big, expensive gestureor this long amount of time.
It can just be like a minutelong, something that makes you
(14:53):
feel better.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I think that's an interesting point, though, with
the season that you know.
I mean I think the needs ofself-care change throughout the
seasons.
I mean whether it's the seasonswith our kids, you know,
younger to older, or literallythe seasons of the year.
I mean sometimes in the winterwe just need more self-care,
(15:15):
like we just need because wehave winter blues or whatever it
might be we just need a littlebit more care for ourselves,
whereas in the summer it justyou've got the sunshine.
It's like every time you gooutside it's a little bit of
self-care.
You know, yeah, you'reabsorbing that, so you might not
need as much then, but I, yeah,I think that is interesting how
it just kind of what you needchanges for many different
(15:37):
reasons.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I love that point about the seasons of motherhood
and of just the year.
Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, yeah, I think when, just like because we've
been doing like different, likepodcast recordings and stuff
today, and then my parents arehere watching Bo, my son, and
then they took him to the park.
So when I like had a break, Ilike came out and they weren't
here and then I'm like, huh,what do I do?
Like I have like 30 minutes oftime where I can just like do
(16:10):
nothing.
So I like went outside to mydeck and I just like laid like,
I was just like sitting in thechair in the sun, because it's a
beautiful sunny day today, andI'm just like, huh, this is nice
.
Like you know, like this feelslike yeah, and I'm like you know
like this doesn't feel likeyeah, and I'm like you know I
should like do this every day.
Like when Bo is like taking anap, I'm like I should be able
to come and sit outside and justlike read a chapter of a book
or like just like scrollmindlessly on my phone if I want
(16:32):
to, or just do nothing.
So I'm like, I'm just like inthis little self-care sprinkling
era, I feel like all of asudden, I'm like this is great,
I'm getting in the groove here,I'm like this is okay, I like
this, this is fun.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
And that makes me think too, like you were saying,
like every day can lookdifferent too.
So this morning, like I wasfeeling a little slow, like I
didn't feel like I had theenergy that I usually have in
the morning, and so I took iteasier.
So as part of my morningroutine, I try to do some sort
of movement, and so today I juststretched and I used my roller
(17:11):
and just stretched and breathed,and so it can look different in
that way too.
We don't have to be so hard onourselves in it looking a
certain way every single day.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, we definitely build up this image in her mind
and try to, you know, createthat.
And if it doesn't like, my bigdownfall is if something does
not work out as I've pictured it, then I'm not happy, you know,
it's like it almost feels likeyou failed or whatever but yeah
it's, it's that all or nothingmentality for sure, and it's not
(17:44):
how I should be thinking.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, well, you're not alone.
Like yeah, there's expectations, like the picture that I have
in my head of how things shouldgo, and then being disappointed
when it doesn't, or feeling likeI failed when it doesn't.
Yeah, yeah, that can be, thatcan be disempowering.
Or you know, like yeah, youlose steam.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah, yeah, and I think too, like having, like, if
you have a morning routine orlike a schedule that you kind of
follow, like, is that like morehelpful where you can kind of
like expect, kind of like likethis is just kind of like how
our day looks.
I know you kind of have to beflexible and things are going to
(18:25):
change, but does having amorning routine kind of help
with making time for theself-care and making a little
bit more be more self-aware ofthe mom guilt, Because you do
kind of know what the routine is, what the day looks like, but
know that there are going to be,I'm sure, some bumps in the
road.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
But do you?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
find having a routine helps at all.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Oh, yeah, yeah, for myself, um, as far as self-care,
it helps.
And then just, we homeschool inthat way too.
Like my girls have an idea ofthe flow of the day.
You know they'll ask questionsabout any different days or
different, but, um, I think thathelps so much and it helps with
like decision fatigue too, youknow, like not having to decide
like this is how this day isgoing to go, and, yeah, you
(19:06):
already have so many questionsto answer and so many things.
Yeah, so for me it really helps.
And so what I love to teach asfar as morning routines is this,
just this three step formula.
It's a framework so that youcan plug in what feels good to
you, because what I found wassometimes, when I was taking
time for myself, I wasn't, um, Iwasn't really present in it, I
(19:28):
wasn't really nourishing all ofme, and so I would leave that
self-care time feeling stillpretty depleted.
So, um, what I like to do andwhat I like to encourage, is
starting your day with just somegentle movement.
So you know you've beensleeping, you wake up, move your
body in some way, whether youlove going for walks or whether
you just want to stretch or dosome yoga or whatever that looks
(19:50):
like for you that day?
Um, and then, like you weresaying, taking time for
journaling and sitting down, um,whatever your meditation
practice looks like, or prayer,um, you know, just getting
really still with yourself,because a lot of times the day
is so noisy and our minds arenoisy, and when we can slow down
enough and, you know, turn downthat volume a little, so much
(20:13):
is able to come through.
You know, like ideas,inspiration and creativity, and,
um, yeah, just so much can comethrough.
And so then to just taking itcan be five minutes, right,
taking some deep breaths,listening to a beautiful song or
guided meditation, and thenwriting, um, whatever that looks
like.
Maybe it's journaling whatyou're grateful for, maybe it's
journaling what came up for youduring your meditation.
(20:35):
Um, just a few minutes to dosomething that brings you joy,
those things that like, yeah,reading that book, or whatever
it is.
Maybe you like to paintsomething?
Um, yeah, knit, it can beanything, but just spending a
few minutes on that, if you can.
And, of course, like, if you,if you've got a newborn and this
is all broken up, you can, youcan make that fit throughout
(20:56):
your day too, right, it doesn'tall have to be in one chunk
either, but um, but, yeah I,that's how I love to start my
days in one chunk either.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
But but yeah, I that's how I love to start my
days.
I think that's a good pointthat you just made too, because,
like, I'm about ready to have,you know, in August, an infant,
a newborn baby.
So it's like your mornings,your day, like your days are
going to look different.
It's going to change.
So it's like when your kids area little older or like you're
done having kids and like youkind of get into the groove in
this like morning routine, it'seasier to kind of have like a
(21:25):
scheduled like session in themorning or something, but it's a
good point that it doesn't haveto necessarily be in the
morning.
If you can't fit it in in themorning, as long as you get it
in sometime throughout the day,just to kind of make that time
for yourself.
You know it's still just asimportant whether it's in the
morning or sometimes people liketo journal at night and talk
about how their day went, sothat they're more present for
(21:46):
the next day and things thatthey could, you know, improve on
or do better, or you know,however you want to look at it.
So I think it's important thatit doesn't have to look the same
every day or, like with theseasons, like when you have
certain times throughout yourlife where maybe, like you have
to change your routine and youhave to be more flexible.
Like that's okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, yeah.
It's all about just settingyourself, Like when you're
helping your child learn to usethe potty.
You do your best to set them upfor success right, you're going
to have a little potty nearby.
You're going to have the extraclothes, you're going to have
all the things, and so how canwe do that for ourselves?
Maybe it's if we want to go fora walk, can we lay out the
clothes?
If we are in the newborn seasonand it's really hard for us to
(22:27):
get even a minute, can we askyou know our partner, for you
know, 30 minutes every day whenhe?
comes home, you know, whateverthat looks like so that you can
have that time for yourself and,just like you, would, you know,
schedule the dentistappointment and you would show
up for that.
Right, we want to do that forourselves, too, because that's
(22:48):
how important it is.
As we I think we've hit onreally well.
Here is how we care forourselves, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
And I think that's great.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Yeah, you know just making sure that you're
scheduling, because it's notjust going to happen.
Like you have to activelycreate the time for this.
I think that's important toremember.
Have to actively create thetime for this.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
I think that's important to remember.
Yeah, and being able to likelean on your spouse or your
partner or your family, likeyour support system, being able
to kind of like bring them inand like, I think, as moms, as
women, like you said, sometimesit can be seen or we make it up
in our head that it's a weaknessto ask for help and we, if we
can't handle all the things, andlike we're failing as a mother
or as a partner, and it's okayto ask for help, like it's
(23:27):
encouraged to ask for help forfor you and yourself and being
able to lean on them in times ofyou know, those seasons that
are a little tougher where youcan't always get that time for
yourself in, but it's so neededLike asking.
Like I could ask my sister hey,can you like I like just needed
to like take a shower when Bowas born?
I'm like I have no time, can Ijust she just came over so I
(23:48):
could take a shower.
I'm like thank you so much.
You know, like, just likelittle things like that, being
able to just like reach out to afriend, any kind of support
system, and they can help youthrough those tougher times is,
I think, important for people toknow too, because it's
definitely not a sign ofweakness.
I think it's a sign of strengthand you being able to say, hey,
(24:08):
I need help and this is likewhat I need, and yeah, you're
recognizing it.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, just recognizing that.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Oh, I love that you asked your sister for help.
I was not worried about thatthe first time around, but, yeah
, just those little things wheresomebody makes you a meal and
they bring it over, like thatmeans the world, you know.
Yeah, the little booties andall those things are so cute,
but like the real gift is likewhen you can offer, yeah, a way
to support them after the babyis born.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Yeah, I know, and it's like my mom was here, which
was so nice she came, and so,and it's like my mom was here,
which was so nice she came, andso like she's like I'll like
just help with the laundry andlike I can make you dinner and
like if you need to sleep, I canwatch the baby.
So it's like that like firstweek of help is so huge and I
think sometimes, like as a newmom, you might think I have to,
I have to be able to do this allmyself.
(24:58):
I have to be able to have itall together and, like you know,
my husband doesn't know how todo anything or they're doing it
all wrong, and it's like no,they're there to help you.
Like this is new to both of you.
You can lean on other people,it's okay.
So I've done more than one waytoo.
Yes, that's the other thing.
Try not to micromanage, but itis.
(25:18):
It's funny too, because I likekeep, I'm like thinking about
how it was when I had Bo, andnow that I'm having, you know,
another baby, I'm like I, I'mhoping, like I can, you know,
now I have a little moreexperience, I'm like I think
I'll be better, be a little morerelaxed about it, I'll be fine.
I'll definitely be asking fortons of help.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
But, yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Well, I feel like this has just been like such a
refreshing and fun and justinformative conversation.
It's almost like this littlelike safe space that we've
created that we can talk about,like all these vulnerable things
and mom guilt and just makingtime for self-care.
So, catherine, thank you somuch for coming on today.
(26:06):
I think it's just been, youknow, you've just been such like
a bright, refreshing lighttoday.
It's been great so thank you somuch for chatting with us today.
So why don't you tell everyonewhere like they can find you?
Like what you have?
Going on, Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Thank you so much for for allowing me to be here, for
having this really importantconversation for moms and for,
yeah, I love your podcast.
I'm so excited that you guysare doing this, and I just I
mean honestly, I love partneringwith you guys in any way.
It's, it's the work, um.
But yeah, so you can find me atat soulcaremomcom, and if you
(26:48):
would like some support aroundhaving sprinkling that self-care
into your day or starting yourmorning with self-care, um, go
to soulcaremomcom.
Forward, slash, kickstart andyou can grab a free gift from me
that will help you to startyour morning with five simple
steps that you can do before youeven get out of bed so that
you're starting your morningwith that full cup.
I think you'll love it.
(27:08):
But, yeah, any, any otherresources or support that you
need, yeah, soulcare momcom isthe best place to go.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much,Catherine, and we will be back
next week with another episode.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Thanks for joining us today on.
She's Got it Together.
It's been a real journey,sharing and laughing with you
all.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
We hope you're walking away with a smile on
your face and a bit moreconfidence in your step.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Remember, you're not alone in this crazy ride called
life.
We're all in this together, oneday at a time.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review and
, of course, share this podcastwith all the incredible women in
your life.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Join us next week for more stories, more laughs and
more real talk.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Until then, keep embracing your unique journey
and remember you've got ittogether more than you think.
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