12. Work-life balance is a lie we’re still telling

What if the reason you're stuck… is because you're building something that isn’t even you?

This episode is a full-throttle brain dump from my bedroom floor. I talk through the mess of launching something that doesn’t feel aligned, and what happens when you stop forcing what’s not working. You’ll hear about my decision to open House of Collab, the flopped launch of my Permission to be Human program, and how using human design helped me make peace with the pivot.

I also unpack why women are burning out from trying to be everything at once: the fixer, the feeler, the leader, and how that’s not a personality, it’s a survival strategy. If you've been stuck in overfunctioning mode or second-guessing whether you're "doing it wrong", this is for you.

You'll leave this episode with full permission to do business and life your way, plus some seriously honest truths about leadership, nervous system safety, and why toxic workplaces are killing more than just motivation.

Let’s make this a two-way conversation, come tell me what landed for you over on Instagram @sheshonestlymental

In this episode we cover:

• Recap of Episode 10 and the guilt of choosing yourself
• Announcing House of Collab and how it came to life
• Why Permission to be Human didn’t feel right
• Discovering alignment through human design
• How Corrina helps other women untangle their businesses
• Using AI and ChatGPT to support overwhelmed founders
• Rant on toxic leadership and emotional unsafety at work
• The importance of nervous system-friendly environments
• Realising work-life blend is more real than balance
• A heartfelt reminder: you’re not broken, just overwhelmed

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Becca Francis – Human Design courses
• Dent
• Diary of a CEO episode on women’s health

• Invictus Apothecary (discount code: SHMFAM)
• Connect with Corrina on Instagram at @sheshonestlymental
• sheshonestlymental.com.au
• The Messy Middle – free community for offloading
• The Chaos Letters – sign up for raw mental health reflections
• Instagram (co-working): @hausofcollab
• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Welcome to She's Honesty Mental, a podcast for
women who are done pretendingthey're fine when they're
falling apart on the inside.
I'm your host, Karina Rollinson,ADHD Brain, Medicated Mind, and
Proud Mental Health Hospitalalumni.
Still here, still showing upsomehow.
This is a space for the fillers,the fixers, and the ones who

(00:24):
carry it all and still wonder ifit's enough.
We talk about the chaos, theconnection, and everything in
between because silence nearlykilled me.
And these conversations savelives.
Alright, cacao in hand,headphones on, chaos
semi-contained.
Let's get honestly mental.

(00:46):
Ugh.
How exciting.
I am recording today's episodefrom my bedroom.
No fancy recording studiohappening here.
I have had the wildest kind ofweek.
It's been.
I suppose it's not even beenwild, it's just been one of
those weeks.

(01:06):
But for me, this episode is kindof.
I feel like I'm about to drop abomb on some subjects and things
that I have been really affectedby.
And I don't want to say thingsto get myself in trouble.

(01:26):
I'm probably going to saysomething that may offend
people.
Well, maybe I won't because Ithink I've attracted the right
people to my tribe, if you know.
But this is one of the otherkind of situations that I find
is affecting women on a reallydeep kind of cellular level.
And it really kind of fucks meoff.

(01:47):
So let me pull up my notes.
Okay, so this is episode 12.
I'd probably wanted to give youa little bit of an update.
Episode 10 a couple of weeks agowas me recording an episode in
the storage room at Surf Club.
And in that episode, I spokeabout the emotional weight of

(02:10):
what it looks like when youstart choosing yourself after a
lifetime of overfunctioning foreveryone else.
I talked about the tensionbetween building something
that's just yours and the guiltthat sneaks in when you do.
And it's been really wildbecause since I recorded that
episode, I can say that I amopening House of Collab, a

(02:31):
networking co-working space herein Esperance, which is so cool.
I know that our local Chamber ofCommerce has been trying to do
it for ages.
And there's been otherbusinesses that have looked at
doing it, but it's just not beena sustainable idea.
And of course, then I've decidedthat I wanted to do it.
And Jared's gone to me, well,you can't because there's no

(02:52):
money for it.
And maybe me's just gone, oh,she'll be right.
It'll be totally fine.
So House of Collab is opening.
I'm very excited because I'vesigned, well, I haven't yet
signed the lease, but thatshould be happening this week.
I'm excited.
The rent is pretty minimal.
Uh, it's not a huge space, butit's a starting point.
And now I've already got lots ofsupport for it, which just makes

(03:15):
it really, really fuckingexciting.
So watch this space.
House of Collab is coming.
And I suppose the other thing isI've been trying to build this
program, Permission to be human,which was supposed to be this
like work with me for 12 weeks,be a part of a community, let's

(03:36):
all work together on your mentalhealth together.
Let's all get in and, you know,we'll have sessions and I'll
send out freebies and all ofthis really cool stuff.
And every time I tried to do it,it just felt a bit off.
It didn't feel me.
It felt very salesy, and that'snot who I am.

(03:56):
And I then signed up for anothercourse through Becca Francis,
who teaches people how to readhuman design.
And I was going through tryingto learn and understand how to
read other people's chartsbecause I found human design has
been one of the most amazingtools for me to understand me as

(04:17):
a person.
And by doing that, I've beenable to pick apart the program
permission to be human and workout why it's not working for me,
why trying to sell somethinglike this isn't really who I am,
why it's not aligning, whypeople are not signing up.

(04:38):
People don't really talk aboutthis.
And it's been funny because whenI try to do something that's
forced or it doesn't feelaligned with me as a person, it
doesn't work.
And it's like this energeticshift of I'm trying to fit a
round peg in a square hole or asquare peg in a round hole.

(05:00):
I don't know, one or the other.
But I'm trying to forcesomething and it's just not,
it's not right.
And it's funny because I'vealways had this idea in my head
about trying to bring togetherthe way organizations work, in
the sense it really pisses meoff when you have small

(05:20):
businesses out there that aretrying to do their own
marketing, they're trying to dotheir own finance, they're
trying to do their own HR,they're trying to do their own
ops, and it looks shit.
I feel so judgmental, but I'mlike, it looks really crap.
And that's because I look at itmyself and I have been
practicing and doing theseskills for a really long time.

(05:42):
And that's when a friendmessaged me and she goes,
Karina, look, I'm actuallyreally keen.
I'm thinking about separating mybusiness brand and my personal
brand and having those as twokind of separate entities.
And I said, Girl, I've actuallybeen thinking that for the last
three weeks when I've beenlooking at social media.
And so she goes, This is whatyou need to be doing.

(06:06):
You need to be this kind of likevisionary almost of a sense of
being able to see the biggerpicture, which has been
something that I've always foundI'm really good at, is being
able to kind of step back andlook and analyze what's going
on, and then kind of not stepinto their situation fully, but
as a person on the outsidelooking in, being able to listen

(06:28):
to them, go through theconversation, listen to their
story, and then analyze it andhelp them put it together.
And so that's what I did.
I have worked with someone, twopeople in the last couple of
weeks, completely kind ofspontaneously, but it felt so
natural because they've gottheir own businesses, they're

(06:49):
trying to put stuff together andthey haven't been able to
cohesively see it becausethey've been too overwhelmed in
the little things.
Whereas for me, the littlethings are like muscle memory,
setting up accounting, settingup bank files, setting up your
social media, getting it all totalk.
And I get really frustrated whenI see people trying to do it all

(07:10):
on their own because I'm like,girl, I could just get in there,
jump in, fix it, show you how todo it, make it so easy.
And I think particularly in thisday and age, I don't know all of
the answers for things, but Iknow where I can look to find
the answer for things.
And so what I'm offering to theworld is, and I'm sharing this

(07:32):
not to sell it, but I'm sharingit because this is when you have
an idea and you want to dosomething, but then there's all
these like friction points goingon.
You go, oh, too, that's toohard.
I I'm not interested.
I I can't do this.
Instead, I'm sharing it because,of course, this is she's
honestly mental, and this isactually what goes on in my head

(07:53):
probably most of the hours ofthe day.
If you've been around for awhile, you already know my
mornings don't start without mykick out.
I've been drinking InvictusApocalypse ceremonial cacao
since 2020.
It's literally been everywherewith me, across Australia, up to
Broome, and even in my inpatienthospital stays.

(08:16):
It's my one little moment ofsacredness each morning, usually
brought to me Made with Love byJared.
Bless him.
The beautiful humans behind it,Jody and Ben, aka the Captain
and the Crew, also run NaturallyEsperance, their gorgeous local
store and dispensary.
They've been part of my worldfor years, and I'm honestly so

(08:37):
grateful for what they'vecreated.
And now they give me a littlesomething for you, my She's
Honestly Mental fan.
You can get 10% off their 250gram and one kilo cacao in store
and online using the code SHMFAM, all one word.
Just head toInvictusapochery.com.au or pop

(08:59):
into naturally esperants ifyou're a local.
So I've had one friend who'sstarting her own nail salon, and
she came over a couple of weeksago and was just telling me
about it.
And I said, girl, like tell meall your things.
I sat there, I had my littleOtta AI open, and it just

(09:20):
recorded the conversationbetween the two of us.
And it was really great becauseat the end of the conversation,
or we kind of got halfway, and Igrabbed the transcript from
that, I punched it into Chat GPTbecause I have GPTs that I've
built that have helped mestrategize and analyze different
situations.

(09:41):
And it spat out this basicallyto-do list for her.
And she said to me, that's thesmartest thing that I've ever
seen.
And it's not even that hard.
It's not even that hard becauseit's been able to pull into what
she really needs.
It's been able to look at theadvice that I've been able to
give her.
And then it's literally spat outa to-do list that suits her

(10:03):
brain and the way that sheworks.
And she said to me, Karina, thishas been the biggest gift that
you could ever give me becausethis stuff really stressed me
out.
And this is what I stand for weare so trying to be perfect.
We are so trying to holdeverything together.
And all it's doing is making usmore vulnerable to failure.

(10:28):
It just blows my mind and it'sso wild that in this day and
age, we are still behaving likethis because we're too scared to
be seen as who we are, which isa human being, not a human
doing.
And it makes me really sad.
But in saying that, I still liveby that for me sometimes.

(10:49):
It's so funny.
I try and start with a bit of aoutline for the podcast of where
I want to take it, and it neverreally happens.
But we get like I think that'sthe point of it, is it's very
raw.
So I'm working with this amazingteam called Dent, and it's
through a guide, DanielPriestley.

(11:11):
He talks a lot about being thekey person of influence in a
particular area.
And for me, I want to be theperson, or I feel like I am one
of the people that so openlytalks about mental health, the
cost of mental health, and theways that we can try and flip it
and find support for people asthey are that have actually

(11:32):
signed up to do his program.
And it's been incredible.
So for me, what I really believeis that we have this deep
ingrained fear of if people sawhow much we were actually
struggling, they'd think that wewere failures.
And that is a lot of the driverfor people that are struggling

(11:54):
with their mental health, isthat they feel like, and I mean,
I'm generalizing here, they feellike if people actually saw who
they were or saw that theyneeded help or that they
couldn't do something on theirown, that they would be seen as
a failure.
Because that's what I lived andbreathed for a good five to six
years of my life.
That is what led me to the edgemultiple times.

(12:18):
And so I see myself, and this iswritten in my human design too,
is that I'm like this living,breathing, walking experiment of
life.
And then I have this skill ofbeing able to openly talk about
stuff.
So that's where this podcastsits.
And what I've truly hope is thatanyone that listens to this

(12:39):
podcast, when you startlistening to when you finish
listening, that you definitelyfeel like you can show up as you
are, and you have thatopportunity to your nervous
system finally settles.
You start to see yourself, andyou feel like you're finally
held.
If that's all that you get outof this, I literally feel like I

(13:03):
could die a happy lady.
So these are the things thatI've found are kind of like pain
points, is you know, we havethis feeling of I can't keep
doing this.
We have this feeling of I'mburnt out, anxious,
overstimulated.
We have a feeling of if I stop,everything stops.
And it's really, really tough.
You know, we're spending timebelieving that we have to be the
strong one.

(13:24):
We're thinking thatvulnerability equals weakness.
We assume that our worth is tiedto how much we can hold and do.
And I have lived that so muchwith all the different
organizations and communitygroups and stuff that I do.
Then if you're burnt out, youfeel like you're not capable of
leadership.
It's just amazing how skilledand talented so many of us are

(13:46):
in our own ways.
And it might not traditionallylook like leadership.
Another client of mine that Iwas working with this week, and
she said, you know, you and M,and we're talking about MG
legend, she said, you and M aresuch great leaders in the space
that you're in.
And she supports us in ourbusinesses.

(14:10):
And she goes, You guys are justsuch great thought leaders.
You do such a good job, and I'mjust here to kind of do mine.
And I said to her, Do youunderstand that what you're
doing is actually being aleader?
You are a thought leader in thisspace that you're in.
What you're doing and the waythat you're showing up is not

(14:30):
something that's common.
It's not something that we sitback and go, oh yeah, you're
just, you know, kind of belowus.
You're sitting at the table withus.
That's not because we hire youto do stuff.
It's like you're hiring me to dothis.
So that, you know, we're justall on the same side.
And it was interesting becausethe shift that she saw from the

(14:52):
beginning of the conversation tothe end of the conversation was,
yeah, you know what?
I'm actually valuable.
Of course she's valuable to her.
So it's that thinking what wethink different things look
like, i.e., leadership, isn'talways what leadership is
actually about.
And I mean that's yeah.

(15:13):
Believing that she should beable to handle it all and taking
responsibility for everythingbecause no one else steps in,
believing support when you'rehaving support, when you're
having someone be there for you,actually equals weakness or
dependence.
So that's kind of where we're atwith it.
It's kind of crazy because I'vegone from thinking that I'm

(15:36):
working with kind of women on apersonal level only, but really
what I'm doing is I'm workingwith women on a whole level,
because it's not just about youas a person at home.
It's about you as a person inevery kind of situation.
For me, I found again, it's notwork-life balance, it's

(15:59):
work-life blend because it isjust a flow.
Because I think that's the waythat the world really is these
days, is it is the flow of thework-life.
There's no real line.
And I'm not talking about thewomen that go to work and do
nine to five or nine to one orwhatever.
I'm talking about the women, theentrepreneurs, the leaders, the

(16:20):
people that are trying to createthings.
There's so much that getsinvolved and your brains just
don't really stop.
So you're trying to find a waythat you can work and almost
like compartmentalize and havethose strategies to support you
throughout the day so that youcan go, okay, well, so for
instance, this morning I was atSurf Club and I get in the water

(16:42):
at about nine o'clock and Idon't get out of the water till
11.
I didn't look at my phonebetween 8:30 and lunchtime
today.
What?
But that's because I'm soinvolved in what I'm doing.
I know that my work andeverything like that, it's not
important right now.
And I know it's obviously surfclub is on a Sunday, but if I

(17:02):
was at home and we didn't haveSurf Club, I'd probably be
working.
I mean, look at me now, it's5.36 on a Sunday afternoon and
I'm sitting on my bed recordinga podcast.
Though for me, this isn'tworking.
It is working, but it's thatblend.
So this kind of leads me intothe next kind of level of where

(17:24):
I'm going and something that'sprobably been pissing me off for
a long time is around leadershipand organizations.
Because I know that there's Ifeel like what's actually making
the world really struggle iswe've got people out there that

(17:46):
are super toxic leaders, and noamount of toxic positivity, no
amount of positivity oraffirmations or anything like
that can really flip that partof leadership.
And if we've got organizationsand leaders out there that are

(18:09):
allowing and not having, youknow, those workplaces that are
emotionally safe or communityorganizations that are
emotionally safe that areallowing behavior, it makes it a
lot harder because we try andregulate at home and then we go
to a workplace or to a communityorganization and we're unable to

(18:31):
kind of regulate there becauseit's not want for the better
words, emotionally safe.
Because you've got people outthere that just don't give a
shit or they've got so muchtrauma that they behave like
assholes.
It makes it really hard.
And that's why I think there's alot of people that don't
volunteer these days because youjust get treated like shit.

(18:54):
There's a reason why there's alot of dysfunction in businesses
because you have owners andleaders who think that they're
king shit and that it's the bestway forward is their way, it's
my way or the highway.
And to some extent it can belike that.
But also the world has just notbeen curated, designed, however

(19:15):
you want to say it.
Like it's just not a place thatreally honors our nervous
systems.
And you can look as physical asfuck, you can be as healthy as
you want to be, like skinny andbeautiful and fit and all of the
rest of it.
And you can try and journal yourway out of it.
But if the environments thatwe're putting ourselves in are

(19:35):
not prioritizing our nervoussystems and the way that we
regulate emotionally, then Ithink it's going to be really
detrimental to the world.
But what I've noticed of late ishow much that it is actually
changing.
I was listening to a Darius CEOpodcast the other day, and I

(19:56):
think he was saying it was oneof the episodes that.
And we'll link it in the shownotes.
It was the episode where he hadthree females come on.
They were all very wellrespected and well known in
their areas of expertise.
And they mentioned that women'shealth data was not actually

(20:17):
properly looked into until 1993.
Like I think up until then, upuntil like 1993, they were using
Caucasian middle-aged men's datafor women's health.
I suppose where I've gone thisepisode is where I've I've had

(20:38):
this thought of I should bereaching out and working with
women on this level of likeone-on-one, right in the mess
with the women that are reallystruggling on a home personal
kind of level.
And I've realized that that'snot really where I can make the

(21:02):
most impact.
And not that impact is the mostimportant thing for me.
It's been really wild because,you know, talking to Jared about
House of Collab and all of therest of it, he's said to me,
Well, you're spending all thismoney on coaching, on
podcasting, on building all ofthese things.
We need to be getting some moneyback in for that.
So I've really felt this heavypressure of trying to make

(21:24):
money.
But when my friend said to me,you know, I worked with my
friend who's building her nowbusiness, and then my other
friend who's trying to split herbrands, they've said, Karina,
this is what you need to bedoing.
And so I kind of mapped it allout, planned it all out, and
then I showed Jared, and hegoes, Yeah, well, no shit.
This is exactly what you shouldbe doing.

(21:44):
I said to him, Well, you couldhave fucking told me this
earlier.
And he goes, Well, I've got tolet you go through this.
So I've been through the processof trying to launch a program to
make it look pretty and sexylike everyone else's, only then
to realise that that's notactually what's right for me.

(22:06):
And it's all this testing andseeing where things fit, I
suppose, and not being afraid tofuck it up or to have it fail in
the hopes that it'll work outeventually.
Because it has always worked outeventually.
I think I can prove for me andmyself, like talking to me is
the amount of times that you'vetried something and it's failed,

(22:29):
but it's not failed and it'sbeen the end of the world
because the world's stillstanding and I'm still standing.
It's more so it's failed, butthen I've learned from it.
And everything that I've learnedup until now has given me this
capacity to really be thatperson because I do, I just see
it so much when someone has aproblem sitting in front of me,

(22:50):
and they're all spinning on it,like spinning tops, going, I
can't find the answer, I don'tknow how to do that.
And then you have other peopletrying to weigh in with their
opinions, and I'm like, shut thefuck up.
It's literally just create anonline form and put a link and
blah, blah, blah.
Like it's that fucking easy.
And so I've had to learn to shutthe fuck up and let people go

(23:12):
through it until they growthrough it.
But yeah, I'm excited becauseI'm hoping that I can actually
try and start stepping into someorganizations and working with
them on building nervous systemaware programs and systems and

(23:33):
improving leadership, becausethat's been, I feel like, the
biggest cost of humanity.
These Caucasian men who thinkthey know it all when really
they haven't got the slightestidea.
Anyway, that's been a bit of arandom one.
And I would love to hear more ifyou agree, disagree.

(23:56):
Please make sure that you drop acomment in my socials, flick me
an email, Karina at she'shonestly mental.com.au.
Because I love theseconversations.
I just think it's wild.
So yeah, and every time you sendme a message, it helps me
realize that I'm not wasting mytime.
I don't know even if that's theright word.

(24:17):
It helps me realize that whatI'm doing does actually resonate
with some people.
I think that's the thing withpodcasting, is I'm recording
these and you're not gettingthem for four weeks after I've
recorded them.
And then I forget about whatwe've discussed.
Thanks for hanging out with meon She's Honestly Mental.

(24:37):
If today's episode cracked opensomething inside of you or gave
you space to exhale, come say hiover at Instagram at She's
Honestly Mental.
Or send this to someone whoneeds to hear that they're not
alone.
And if you haven't yet, hit thatfollow button so the next
episode lands in your messy feedright where it belongs.

(24:57):
Until next time, take care ofyour brain.
You're not broken.
You're just honestly mental.
And all the best people are.