September 25, 2025 • 26 mins
Today's episode is a unique one - it's not actually about business. It's about how to end the loneliness many of you suffer in silence - and how to start building the friendships & community you've been yearning for!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Well, hello friends.
This is Kimberly and I'm soexcited you're here today,
because we are talking about howto create the friends and
community that you have yearnedfor.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
So many of you tell me that life is going great, but
there's just this little voidthat you have, where maybe you
don't have the friend groups,the friends, the community that
you long for, and maybe even attimes, you feel lonely.
Some of you say that.
(00:40):
So today we're going to talkabout this.
I'm so excited.
I think it's such an importantissue for a lot of women out
there.
Even teenagers Literallyfemales of all ages are telling
me this, from like middle schoolup to high school, up to
college, up to newlyweds, up tonew parents, up to, you know,
(01:01):
parents and families with youknow, teenagers and even empty
nesters.
I even had someone tell metheir 82-year-old mom was
feeling this way too, and sowe're going to talk about it
today.
And here is the cool thing,y'all.
I have a cool story first,before we begin this episode is
that I did something yesterdayfinally, at the age of 53, that
(01:27):
I've been wanting to do for avery, very long time, but I've
been super scared to do it, andsome of you might have an idea
what I'm talking about.
No, it's not jumping out of anairplane or climbing a huge
mountain.
It's something that I wanted todo especially.
I was thinking about it beforeI started this podcast and some
(01:49):
of you may have an idea, who'velistened to me for a long time,
but finally, last night I did myfirst public speech.
I guess you could call it.
Yes, I spoke in front of peoplelive, in person.
I've never done that.
Y'all know I do this podcast.
(02:10):
I've done it for six years.
I speak behind a microphonewith maybe my dog in the room.
No one is here, no one'sjudging me, no one's doing
anything, no one's smiling, noone's laughing, no one's in awe,
nothing right, and I don't haveto worry, I can be in my
pajamas.
But last night I spoke at an NCLmeeting with women and their
(02:31):
middle school and high schooldaughters.
I don't know if you know whatNCL is.
It's called National CharityLeague and it's a
mother-daughter, mother-daughter, mother-daughter volunteer
organization and so what we dois serve at different
philanthropies around ourcommunity.
We also have like monthlymeetings and our girls have have
(02:51):
monthly meetings and it'sseparated by grade, from 7th
through 12th grade, and usuallyyou join when your daughter is
in like 7th grade and you stayin it all through their senior
year.
So we are in it and at the endof last like school year, the
president of our chapter herehad kind of nudged me and said
Would you want to be part of ourInspiration Committee where
(03:13):
every other month you get up andyou speak and there will be one
other inspiration person aswell and she will do it on
alternating months, but you'llget up and speak and just share
something inspirational.
And I thought you know what I'mso honored that they asked me to
do this at our monthly meetings.
But I realized, like how sillyit was that I never actually
(03:33):
volunteered for this because Iwanted to do it.
I actually wanted to do it, butI have been terrified of, like,
actually getting up and doingpublic speaking.
It's something that I'veyearned for but I never did and
I always feared it.
And last night, y'all, Iactually did it and there was
(03:54):
maybe my guess is 125 peoplemore or less Somewhere around.
There is my educated guessbased on how many people were in
the room when I was looking outand it was such an honor and
people were so kind after andsaid it was an inspiration.
And I just want to encourageyou all, especially with today's
topic, to do the things thatyou're scared to do, if you have
felt that little sense of likeunfulfillment in your life in a
(04:19):
certain area, or a yearning forsomething more.
I know today we're talkingabout friends and community, but
if you have felt that, Iencourage you today to really
take this message to heart,because after last night I was
just like I did it and now I'mso excited to do it again.
I was so nervous on the way andmy daughter was like gosh.
This reminds me when I had toget up in front of her AP class.
(04:40):
She said and she had to give aspeech and she goes.
You know, I had my teachersitting there grading me, making
sure I was saying the rightthings and giving the right
information.
She's like tonight this is whatshe said last night on the way
she goes tonight you don't haveto worry about any of that.
You just get to show up andinspire people and talk.
No one's grading you nothing.
And I thought, ava, you areexactly right.
(05:01):
I get to go up there and justinspire people.
That's all I had to do.
There was no expectation I couldhave put a quote up on the
board, but I could have doneanything I wanted, and what I
talked about is what I'm sharingwith you today.
Okay, so what I did wasre-record my speech.
I guess you could call it todayfor this episode, so that's
(05:22):
what's coming up.
So this is not the recordedversion of me live Last night.
This is actually me todayredoing it, and it's just so
rewarding and so freeing to dosomething that you've wanted to
do, so I hope this inspires you.
I'm just so thankful I had theopportunity.
So shout out to NCL for lettingme do this at our monthly
(05:45):
meetings, or you know, I'll bedoing it every other month, and
I'm just so thankful I had theopportunity.
So shout out to NCL for lettingme do this at our monthly
meetings, or you know, I'll bedoing it every other month, and
I'm just so excited and sorelieved that I did something
that scared me and I overcamethat.
I know how you all feel whenyou're scared, even starting a
business or whatever it may be.
Also, too, I want to mentiontoday's episode really has
nothing to do with business.
You know this podcast has beentraditionally a business podcast
, but what I'm finding is thereare a lot of topics like this,
(06:10):
like today's episode, that Iwould love to talk about, that
really have nothing to do withbusiness, but more about
developing ourselves, improvingour relationships, living a more
full life.
And so, if this resonates withyou, if you've maybe felt
unfulfilled in a certain way, ormaybe that you have a lack of
(06:32):
purpose, or that you just kindof feel like you're flailing a
little bit, give me somefeedback and let me know that
you would love to hear moreepisodes like today's.
Maybe listen to today's episodeand decide like, do you like
this?
Versus just straight businesstalk, because I've had this
little tug at my soul to godeeper with this podcast each
(06:54):
week and to not necessarily makeit about business, but make it
about pursuing greater things inour life becoming more, doing
more, being better, improvingour relationships all these
things so we can lead afulfilling and purposeful life.
So I would love that feedback.
You can always DM me.
Start with Kimberly Brock onInstagram.
If you listen on Spotify, youcan make a comment there.
(07:17):
You can always email me.
Hi at KimberlyBrockcom.
I would love that.
So, anyways, do something thatscares you and go for things.
Today, I'm so excited to sharethis message about how to build
those friendships andcommunities that you long for.
Okay, enjoy.
We're going to start out with aquestion here, and you may be
(07:44):
driving or walking, I don't knowwhat it is.
I want you to nod your head orraise your hand if you feel that
friendships and community are avery important part of people's
lives, that they should be avery important part of your life
, raise your hand Now.
(08:05):
When I spoke this last night,the room raised their hand.
Everyone in the room raisedtheir hand.
We can all agree that havinggood friends and community is
vital for us to share the upsand downs, to bond with, to
travel with to, to talk topersonally, to work through
things with, to laugh with.
We all know that friendshipsand community are massively
(08:28):
important.
But here's the thing Eventhough we live in the most
connected society ever withsocial media and phones and all
the stuff, many of you sharewith me that you yearn for more
(08:49):
friends and community.
Like you are missing somethingwhen it comes to friendships and
community, and it may be thatyou just, you know, have a few
really good friends, but youdon't really feel like you have
groups that you really clickwith and you just don't feel
like you have that connectednessthat you should.
(09:10):
You feel disconnected, which isso weird, right?
Isn't this weird that we couldfeel disconnected in today's
world?
But we all talk about it and weall do, and all ages tell me
this, all ages from high schooland even junior high, on up to
college age, to young adult, tonewly married, to you know
(09:34):
parents, new parents, to youknow people have been married a
while my husband and I, right,and even to those that are
retired.
I talked to a woman last nightwho told me after the meeting
her 82-year-old mom was sayingI'm over it, I've got to make
more friends.
Y'all.
This is a real problem.
This is a real problem, and soI have to tell you that I asked
(10:00):
around why do y'all think thatthis is a problem?
Like, what's the deal?
And do you want to hear theanswers that people gave me as
to why they believe that theydon't have the friends and
community that they yearn for?
Number one the number oneanswer was nobody invites me to
stuff.
Nobody invites me to stuff.
Number two when I do go tostuff, nobody talks to to me.
(10:25):
Nobody talks to me if I do showup somewhere.
And number three I'm scared ofwhat they'll think of me.
Maybe I'm not wearing the rightclothes, maybe I look different
than them.
I'm just worried that, like,they can tell that I don't fit
in and and maybe I'm gettingjudged not that they mean to
judge, but that I'm't fit in andmaybe I'm getting judged not
(10:47):
that they mean to judge, butthat I'm going to get assessed.
That you know I am not for them.
Y'all.
How sad is this?
This is what people say.
But then I was staring at thoseanswers, those three answers.
And do you know what those allhave in common?
They are putting theresponsibility of you having
(11:08):
friends and community onto otherpeople.
You are saying that the onus ison other people to help you
build friends and community.
Do you really think that's agood thing to do?
(11:29):
Do you really think that that'sa good thing to do?
Do you really think that that'sa good thing to do?
Don't you realize that the onusis actually on you to build
friends and community?
And I think we've got to flipthis script, y'all.
This happened to me at thebeginning of 2025.
So I decided this was my year,that I was going to step out and
(11:52):
make more friends and buildmore community for myself.
Okay, and I thought, okay, howam I going to do this?
What do I want to be doing?
What are the things that I wantto do?
I was like Number one I want toplay pickleball, and if y'all
have been listening to me.
You know I started playingpickleball and you know I say
that not everyone likespickleball and they don't want
to hear about pickleball.
Some people don't want to hearabout it, some people don't care
.
I always say it's like cilantroSome people like it, some
(12:12):
people don't.
It's all good, we all love eachother.
But I said I'm going to playpickleball and so a club
happened to be opening literallyfive minutes from my house.
I was jumping up for joy, soexcited.
And, by the way, the reason thisyear was the year that I
decided like like, I need tomake a change was number one my
daughter got her driver'slicense last November and I have
all of a sudden felt like Ihave more time.
(12:34):
I'm like oh, my gosh, I havefreed up time, like I can now do
more things for myself, right.
And number two y'all know I'vebeen sick since COVID and had
all this weird stuff going on.
I'm feeling better.
Thank you Lord, they arefiguring things out.
I'm on new biologic and thingsare looking up and I'm feeling
good and I can actually playpickleball.
(12:54):
So that's great news, okay, sothat is why that was my impetus
Like I'm like this is my time,like let's go.
I'm not hiding anymore, fromCOVID to being sick, to being a
parent carpooling kids around.
And now you're like wait aminute, I have free time.
Okay.
So my husband and I go playpickleball and he and I go, and
he'd never played tennis reallybefore I played tennis in high
(13:16):
school.
So I'm like all geared up.
I'm like let's go, let's dothis.
And of course he picks it upfast, because you know how these
men are.
They just like pick up sports.
And I'm like, okay, he and Ican do together.
And it's not where he's just,you know, beating me so bad.
Like this is totally fun, goodcompetition.
So we're playing.
And every time we go I'm likelet's just me and you hit.
(13:37):
And there's 13 indoor courts andthe other 12 courts are filled
with people playing doubles, andwe're over here playing singles
, just he and I.
And we're going and you knowI'm making him hit and drill.
And then after a while, he'slike you know what?
After like several times of usgoing, he's like we need to play
with other people.
I think he was like over me,like totally over me, and it's
like we need to go play withother people.
(13:57):
And I'm like, okay, but I'mnervous.
What are they going to think?
Are they going to think I'm notgood enough?
Are all the men going to try tohit at me?
And, by the way, playingpickleball y'all is so
interesting.
There are all nationalities,all languages.
It is like this littlemicrocosm of God's creation.
It's the coolest thing ever.
I had no idea all thesedifferent groups of people
(14:21):
played pickleball.
So I'm already kind of thinkingam I the odd one out?
I'm the female, I'm the whitegirl here.
Like, is this even?
Like, do they want to play withme Maybe?
Like these are the thoughts.
I'm being honest with you.
These are the thoughts thatwent through my head.
Like why am I thinking thatit's ridiculous?
But anyways, I'm thinking allof this and I'm like do they
(14:43):
want to play with David and I?
Are we going to be good?
And David makes us startplaying and we start playing.
And then we're like this isactually fun.
We were making some friends.
But then we realized we couldn'tremember people's names and I
felt so bad because he would getoff the court.
And I'm like well, I want toplay with them again.
What are their names?
And David and I would look ateach other and we're like okay,
we have got to do something hereto remember people's names.
So then we decided I was likeOK, just put it together.
(15:16):
It's one word Jennifer Lee.
So anytime you see either ofthem, it's Jennifer Lee.
So then when we saw them again,we're like Jennifer Lee, how
are you doing?
So we started remembering.
So we started kind of doinglike clever little things to
remember people's names while wewere playing.
So that became fun.
David and I are like this littleteam and we play other couples,
we play other men.
I mean, a lot of times we'replaying against two other guys
and I had to get over that.
At first I like almost criedbecause they were like targeting
(15:38):
me and trying to hit the ballat me and I was like I have got
to get better and be able todefend myself.
And then it became fun becauseit was like this challenge and I
started being able to hangright.
So and I love playing with men.
Now that is what the irony is,because they hit it so hard.
The game is fast and I actuallylove it.
No offense to my female friends, I love playing with women too,
but I have to tell you there'ssomething about playing with men
(15:59):
, where the game is justelevated and it's just tougher
and it makes me better, okay.
So, anyways, then my husbandgets hurt and I have to start
going by myself because I'm likeI'm not going to not go play
pickleball.
I've made some friends, so nowI'm forced to go make more
friends, and I have friends withall kinds of names that I am
not familiar with, so it's evenharder for me to remember them.
(16:22):
I have a friend that's namedBarag, a friend that's named
Mahi, and I remembered his namebecause I just think of Mahi,
mahi, fish, and I'm like that'sMahi and I remember him.
And then there's like Marshall,and then what are the other
names?
Oh my gosh, I Kim Jackson, allmy friends, all my friends there
, and I'm Lim and his wife, alex, like all these people.
(16:45):
Oh, another one his name was isOleg, and I was like how am I
ever going to remember that?
And I asked him how am I goingto remember your name?
And he goes, he had a kneebrace on and he said Oleg he
pointed to his knee because hehad the knee brace on.
I was like, oleg, I've got it,I've got it.
So having these clever littlethings helped me and I've
remembered their name.
And now every time I go, y'allmy husband is still hurt.
(17:06):
I go and people are like hey,kimberly.
And I'm like hey Oleg, hey Alex, hey Lim, hey Kim, everybody.
I'm saying hello.
All of a sudden I have thiscommunity of friends that I
never knew I would have had, butit's all surrounding the love
of pickleball and it's crazy.
I had no idea you could nothave told me that I would have
had these friends, okay, andit's so much fun.
(17:27):
So then it happened again.
A couple weeks ago startedBible study and when you go
every year to this Bible studythis is like my sixth year doing
it they change the study of theBible that you're doing and you
sit down with, like, well, 10to 12 women, something like that
, and you have a new leader andthey mix it up every year.
So you have a new leader andyou have a new group every year.
I did have someone in the groupthat I recognized and I realized
(17:51):
when I looked at her that we,you know, had been in a group
the year before and I could notremember her name and I thought,
how ridiculous is this that Ido not remember her name?
Like I'm mortified.
I'm mortified that I don'tremember her name, and it's not
just because I forgot it, it'sbecause I never really tried to
remember it.
I never did anything to try toremember her name, kind of like
(18:13):
what I did at Puckaball lastyear, you know, the year before
last, when I had her in my group.
I didn't actually try.
I was too worried about myselfwhen I was at Bible study.
Do I know enough about theBible?
Am I saying stupid stuff?
Did I study enough, like allthese weirdo things that I was.
That I was thinking and I don'tknow if this is y'all too, am I
the only one?
But these are the things thatI'm thinking?
(18:33):
And so I sat down this year andwe sat down at the first, you
know, meeting of the year and Irealized the first meeting is
the only one where everyone goesaround and introduces
themselves.
Now, all year we wear name tags, but still it's hard because
you feel embarrassed lookingdown at someone's name tag.
And I was like I am pulling outmy workbook and, as each person
introduced themselves, I wrotedown their first and last name
(18:55):
in the front of my workbook andI just sat there and I have a
whole list.
It's still sitting there and Ilove it.
Every time I open it I'm likeoh yeah, these are the ladies
that are in my group.
Now some more have come.
I'm not going to remember alltheir names right away, but a
couple right away.
I started kind of clicking withand talking with and I said I
have to remember their names.
So while they're talking, I'mlooking at them, like one girl,
her name was Jenny, so cute, shehad on like a scarf, and so I
(19:16):
kind of was like, okay, shedresses all cute and fancy.
And I was like, oh, I have afriend, jenny, in Austin that
dresses all fancy.
Her name's Jenny and I canremember Jenny, like I had my
list.
So when I had that visual imageof all the people in the group,
I looked around.
I'm like okay, this is working.
And then I got to talking withsome of them and it's working
y'all, it's building a communityso that when we say bye to
people, right, I can say bye,jenny, bye, so-and-so, like I
(19:40):
actually remember the name,that's.
All that it took was just thenext little step to remember a
name, so that now, all of asudden, when I see them the next
week, I'm like I know theirnames and we are already
building a friendship andcommunity, instead of being
embarrassed that we don'tremember everyone's name.
Here's another thing too AtPickleball I will have to go up
to someone and I may have playedwith them three or four times
(20:02):
and I don't let them get on thecourt without me asking their
name again.
I'm like I know I met youbefore.
Tell me your name again.
And they're like Okay, it'sJohn.
I'm like John, it's so nice tosee you.
I'm Kimberly.
Again, in case you forgot.
I know we have so many people.
I always give them grace andimmediately just say my name.
And do you know how many timesthey've said I'm so glad you
said that because I hadforgotten your name.
(20:23):
Do not be embarrassed to dothat.
Give people grace, let them offthe hook.
Let them off the hook, likeimmediately say what's your name
.
It's John.
Okay, awesome, I'm so glad I'mKimberly I didn't know if you
remember that, but it's so niceto see you again.
Y'all, that makes all thedifference, all the difference,
okay.
So that happened to me and y'allsee that it's working.
(20:45):
I am building friendships andcommunity and I have a couple
other things I'm involved in andI'm super stoked about it.
Y'all, it is actually working.
So I want to tell you todaythat the onus is on you, that
you have to do this.
But you may be asking howactually do I do that?
Like what?
What are the I need?
Like little steps, little notes, okay, well, I just kind of
shared them with you, but I'mgoing to put them into three
(21:05):
steps that you can take with youwhen you're out in the wild.
Starting today, starting today,tomorrow, whatever you want to
start doing, whether it's, youknow, start a new group, join a
club, start dancing lessons, aninstrument, a group, become a
leader of something I don't knowwhat it is for you, your
business, anything.
You can start buildingcommunity.
(21:26):
I want you to start number oneshowing up.
Show up somewhere, wherever youwant to be.
Stop this whole nonsense ofworrying about what other people
are thinking and that no oneinvited you and no one talks to
you.
Assume that when you go towherever you're going to go, no
one's going to talk to you.
This is not about someonecoming and saving you and
(21:49):
whisking you into a group andand, magically, with the little
fairy dust, giving you a groupof friends.
This is about you showing upwhere you are interested, where
you want to learn, where youwant to be, where you want to
lead and show up.
So that's number one you showup where it is you want to be.
Number two you warmly smile atpeople and ask them their name.
(22:12):
You look in their eyes and yousay Hello, it's so nice to meet
you.
What is your name?
My name's, you know, kelly.
Kelly, it's so nice to meet you.
I'm Kimberly.
How are you?
Is this your first time here?
You start talking, you warmlysmile at them and ask them their
name.
This is how your relationshipsbegin.
This is like the little seedthat you're planning for
(22:35):
yourself and for the otherperson.
Okay, and the other people thatyou're meeting?
This is what you do, okay?
So, number one you show up.
Number two you smile warmly atthem and ask them their name.
And here's number three youcome up with a clever way to
remember their name.
You actually have to remembertheir name.
(22:57):
You need to, because when yousay bye today or when you say
hello, next time you see them,you know their name.
Why are we just now doing this?
Like we should have learnedthis in kindergarten and maybe
we did, but we've been weird.
We've been weird and we've beenexpecting other people to do it
and we've been embarrassed andwe've been caught up in our own
(23:18):
mind drama.
This is it.
Let me repeat.
Number one show up where you'vebeen yearning to show up.
There is somewhere that you'vebeen yearning to show up or
something you've been yearningto do.
Okay, I don't know if it'sstart a bar class, start going
to a gym, pickleball cookingclass, I don't know what it is.
(23:38):
Okay.
Number two warmly smile atpeople and ask them their name
and begin the conversation.
And number three you cleverlyremember their name, whether
it's recording it on the voiceapp on your phone when you leave
, because you're like oh my gosh, I've got to like type.
You know her name really quick.
(23:58):
I'm gonna do it on my voice app, type it in your notes, write
it in your workbook.
Like I did Associate them witha family member.
Do something Like Oleg, remembersomething that's different
about them.
Like he had the brace on hisleg and I'm like Oleg.
That was like the greatest gifthe gave me was to help me with
that, because I could notremember his name for my life.
(24:20):
Right, this is what you doy'all.
This is what's going to helpyou when the onus is on you.
Instead of putting it on otherpeople to build your friendships
and community, you do it andyour life will change.
You will start building.
It's not going to be overnight.
You're not going to have bestfriends overnight, but you are
going to start building thefriendship and belonging and
(24:41):
community that you've longed for.
In fact, I told the girls thatwere there in high school like
some of them are scared to gosit with other people at lunch
at lunch tables.
Like, go sit with them.
They may not talk to you.
Go sit by them.
Maybe you can try.
Maybe you can warmly look intheir eyes and introduce
yourself.
This is how it all begins.
The onus is on you.
I'm so excited for you.
I think if you take these 3steps out into the wild, you
(25:04):
will see a big difference.
You will see it, you will feelit, you will be a happier person
and you will start having thatfulfillment and purpose and
friends that you have yearnedfor.
So that's it, ladies andgentlemen.
I'm so excited that you arehere.
I'm so glad that you listenedtoday.
You know you can join me onInstagram at
(25:24):
StartWithKimberlyBrock.
I'm not on there all the time.
I act like I'm on Instagram allthe time.
I'm not, but if you want to getinvolved with me, you can.
You can plug in that way Againstart with Kimberly Brock on
Facebook and Instagram, or youcan always go to my website,
kimberlybrockcom, where I havesome great things for you if
you're starting your businessand getting that going.
I may be adding some merch heresoon, so that will be fun All
(25:47):
things surrounded by you.
Know, I'm just getting startedand we're just getting started
because I believe that's theinitiative that we need.
We need to realize that we'reall in this together, we're all
in life together and there's somuch ahead for us.
Y'all, none of us have tappedinto our potential.
None of us are living our fullpotential that I find, and we
(26:08):
have so much more to give to theworld.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I know you do.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I know you can become more of the person that God
created you to be.
There's more room for you.
There's more fulfillment andpurpose.
So that's it.
Y'all have a great day Untilnext time.
Bye now.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Now this episode may be over, but our relationship
does not have to end here.
Head on over toKimberlyBrockcom and, yes, you
can get more valuableinformation for your journey and
you know what.
You don't need to go throughthis alone.
I would love to help you.
Thank you so much and have agreat day.
(26:47):
Bye.
Well, hello friends.
This is Kimberly and I'm soexcited you're here today,
because we are talking about howto create the friends and
community that you have yearnedfor.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
So many of you tell me that life is going great, but
there's just this little voidthat you have, where maybe you
don't have the friend groups,the friends, the community that
you long for, and maybe even attimes, you feel lonely.
Some of you say that.
(00:40):
So today we're going to talkabout this.
I'm so excited.
I think it's such an importantissue for a lot of women out
there.
Even teenagers Literallyfemales of all ages are telling
me this, from like middle schoolup to high school, up to
college, up to newlyweds, up tonew parents, up to, you know,
(01:01):
parents and families with youknow, teenagers and even empty
nesters.
I even had someone tell metheir 82-year-old mom was
feeling this way too, and sowe're going to talk about it
today.
And here is the cool thing,y'all.
I have a cool story first,before we begin this episode is
that I did something yesterdayfinally, at the age of 53, that
(01:27):
I've been wanting to do for avery, very long time, but I've
been super scared to do it, andsome of you might have an idea
what I'm talking about.
No, it's not jumping out of anairplane or climbing a huge
mountain.
It's something that I wanted todo especially.
I was thinking about it beforeI started this podcast and some
(01:49):
of you may have an idea, who'velistened to me for a long time,
but finally, last night I did myfirst public speech.
I guess you could call it.
Yes, I spoke in front of peoplelive, in person.
I've never done that.
Y'all know I do this podcast.
(02:10):
I've done it for six years.
I speak behind a microphonewith maybe my dog in the room.
No one is here, no one'sjudging me, no one's doing
anything, no one's smiling, noone's laughing, no one's in awe,
nothing right, and I don't haveto worry, I can be in my
pajamas.
But last night I spoke at an NCLmeeting with women and their
(02:31):
middle school and high schooldaughters.
I don't know if you know whatNCL is.
It's called National CharityLeague and it's a
mother-daughter, mother-daughter, mother-daughter volunteer
organization and so what we dois serve at different
philanthropies around ourcommunity.
We also have like monthlymeetings and our girls have have
(02:51):
monthly meetings and it'sseparated by grade, from 7th
through 12th grade, and usuallyyou join when your daughter is
in like 7th grade and you stayin it all through their senior
year.
So we are in it and at the endof last like school year, the
president of our chapter herehad kind of nudged me and said
Would you want to be part of ourInspiration Committee where
(03:13):
every other month you get up andyou speak and there will be one
other inspiration person aswell and she will do it on
alternating months, but you'llget up and speak and just share
something inspirational.
And I thought you know what I'mso honored that they asked me to
do this at our monthly meetings.
But I realized, like how sillyit was that I never actually
(03:33):
volunteered for this because Iwanted to do it.
I actually wanted to do it, butI have been terrified of, like,
actually getting up and doingpublic speaking.
It's something that I'veyearned for but I never did and
I always feared it.
And last night, y'all, Iactually did it and there was
(03:54):
maybe my guess is 125 peoplemore or less Somewhere around.
There is my educated guessbased on how many people were in
the room when I was looking outand it was such an honor and
people were so kind after andsaid it was an inspiration.
And I just want to encourageyou all, especially with today's
topic, to do the things thatyou're scared to do, if you have
felt that little sense of likeunfulfillment in your life in a
(04:19):
certain area, or a yearning forsomething more.
I know today we're talkingabout friends and community, but
if you have felt that, Iencourage you today to really
take this message to heart,because after last night I was
just like I did it and now I'mso excited to do it again.
I was so nervous on the way andmy daughter was like gosh.
This reminds me when I had toget up in front of her AP class.
(04:40):
She said and she had to give aspeech and she goes.
You know, I had my teachersitting there grading me, making
sure I was saying the rightthings and giving the right
information.
She's like tonight this is whatshe said last night on the way
she goes tonight you don't haveto worry about any of that.
You just get to show up andinspire people and talk.
No one's grading you nothing.
And I thought, ava, you areexactly right.
(05:01):
I get to go up there and justinspire people.
That's all I had to do.
There was no expectation I couldhave put a quote up on the
board, but I could have doneanything I wanted, and what I
talked about is what I'm sharingwith you today.
Okay, so what I did wasre-record my speech.
I guess you could call it todayfor this episode, so that's
(05:22):
what's coming up.
So this is not the recordedversion of me live Last night.
This is actually me todayredoing it, and it's just so
rewarding and so freeing to dosomething that you've wanted to
do, so I hope this inspires you.
I'm just so thankful I had theopportunity.
So shout out to NCL for lettingme do this at our monthly
(05:45):
meetings, or you know, I'll bedoing it every other month, and
I'm just so thankful I had theopportunity.
So shout out to NCL for lettingme do this at our monthly
meetings, or you know, I'll bedoing it every other month, and
I'm just so excited and sorelieved that I did something
that scared me and I overcamethat.
I know how you all feel whenyou're scared, even starting a
business or whatever it may be.
Also, too, I want to mentiontoday's episode really has
nothing to do with business.
You know this podcast has beentraditionally a business podcast
, but what I'm finding is thereare a lot of topics like this,
(06:10):
like today's episode, that Iwould love to talk about, that
really have nothing to do withbusiness, but more about
developing ourselves, improvingour relationships, living a more
full life.
And so, if this resonates withyou, if you've maybe felt
unfulfilled in a certain way, ormaybe that you have a lack of
(06:32):
purpose, or that you just kindof feel like you're flailing a
little bit, give me somefeedback and let me know that
you would love to hear moreepisodes like today's.
Maybe listen to today's episodeand decide like, do you like
this?
Versus just straight businesstalk, because I've had this
little tug at my soul to godeeper with this podcast each
(06:54):
week and to not necessarily makeit about business, but make it
about pursuing greater things inour life becoming more, doing
more, being better, improvingour relationships all these
things so we can lead afulfilling and purposeful life.
So I would love that feedback.
You can always DM me.
Start with Kimberly Brock onInstagram.
If you listen on Spotify, youcan make a comment there.
(07:17):
You can always email me.
Hi at KimberlyBrockcom.
I would love that.
So, anyways, do something thatscares you and go for things.
Today, I'm so excited to sharethis message about how to build
those friendships andcommunities that you long for.
Okay, enjoy.
We're going to start out with aquestion here, and you may be
(07:44):
driving or walking, I don't knowwhat it is.
I want you to nod your head orraise your hand if you feel that
friendships and community are avery important part of people's
lives, that they should be avery important part of your life
, raise your hand Now.
(08:05):
When I spoke this last night,the room raised their hand.
Everyone in the room raisedtheir hand.
We can all agree that havinggood friends and community is
vital for us to share the upsand downs, to bond with, to
travel with to, to talk topersonally, to work through
things with, to laugh with.
We all know that friendshipsand community are massively
(08:28):
important.
But here's the thing Eventhough we live in the most
connected society ever withsocial media and phones and all
the stuff, many of you sharewith me that you yearn for more
(08:49):
friends and community.
Like you are missing somethingwhen it comes to friendships and
community, and it may be thatyou just, you know, have a few
really good friends, but youdon't really feel like you have
groups that you really clickwith and you just don't feel
like you have that connectednessthat you should.
(09:10):
You feel disconnected, which isso weird, right?
Isn't this weird that we couldfeel disconnected in today's
world?
But we all talk about it and weall do, and all ages tell me
this, all ages from high schooland even junior high, on up to
college age, to young adult, tonewly married, to you know
(09:34):
parents, new parents, to youknow people have been married a
while my husband and I, right,and even to those that are
retired.
I talked to a woman last nightwho told me after the meeting
her 82-year-old mom was sayingI'm over it, I've got to make
more friends.
Y'all.
This is a real problem.
This is a real problem, and soI have to tell you that I asked
(10:00):
around why do y'all think thatthis is a problem?
Like, what's the deal?
And do you want to hear theanswers that people gave me as
to why they believe that theydon't have the friends and
community that they yearn for?
Number one the number oneanswer was nobody invites me to
stuff.
Nobody invites me to stuff.
Number two when I do go tostuff, nobody talks to to me.
(10:25):
Nobody talks to me if I do showup somewhere.
And number three I'm scared ofwhat they'll think of me.
Maybe I'm not wearing the rightclothes, maybe I look different
than them.
I'm just worried that, like,they can tell that I don't fit
in and and maybe I'm gettingjudged not that they mean to
judge, but that I'm't fit in andmaybe I'm getting judged not
(10:47):
that they mean to judge, butthat I'm going to get assessed.
That you know I am not for them.
Y'all.
How sad is this?
This is what people say.
But then I was staring at thoseanswers, those three answers.
And do you know what those allhave in common?
They are putting theresponsibility of you having
(11:08):
friends and community onto otherpeople.
You are saying that the onus ison other people to help you
build friends and community.
Do you really think that's agood thing to do?
(11:29):
Do you really think that that'sa good thing to do?
Do you really think that that'sa good thing to do?
Don't you realize that the onusis actually on you to build
friends and community?
And I think we've got to flipthis script, y'all.
This happened to me at thebeginning of 2025.
So I decided this was my year,that I was going to step out and
(11:52):
make more friends and buildmore community for myself.
Okay, and I thought, okay, howam I going to do this?
What do I want to be doing?
What are the things that I wantto do?
I was like Number one I want toplay pickleball, and if y'all
have been listening to me.
You know I started playingpickleball and you know I say
that not everyone likespickleball and they don't want
to hear about pickleball.
Some people don't want to hearabout it, some people don't care
.
I always say it's like cilantroSome people like it, some
(12:12):
people don't.
It's all good, we all love eachother.
But I said I'm going to playpickleball and so a club
happened to be opening literallyfive minutes from my house.
I was jumping up for joy, soexcited.
And, by the way, the reason thisyear was the year that I
decided like like, I need tomake a change was number one my
daughter got her driver'slicense last November and I have
all of a sudden felt like Ihave more time.
(12:34):
I'm like oh, my gosh, I havefreed up time, like I can now do
more things for myself, right.
And number two y'all know I'vebeen sick since COVID and had
all this weird stuff going on.
I'm feeling better.
Thank you Lord, they arefiguring things out.
I'm on new biologic and thingsare looking up and I'm feeling
good and I can actually playpickleball.
(12:54):
So that's great news, okay, sothat is why that was my impetus
Like I'm like this is my time,like let's go.
I'm not hiding anymore, fromCOVID to being sick, to being a
parent carpooling kids around.
And now you're like wait aminute, I have free time.
Okay.
So my husband and I go playpickleball and he and I go, and
he'd never played tennis reallybefore I played tennis in high
(13:16):
school.
So I'm like all geared up.
I'm like let's go, let's dothis.
And of course he picks it upfast, because you know how these
men are.
They just like pick up sports.
And I'm like, okay, he and Ican do together.
And it's not where he's just,you know, beating me so bad.
Like this is totally fun, goodcompetition.
So we're playing.
And every time we go I'm likelet's just me and you hit.
(13:37):
And there's 13 indoor courts andthe other 12 courts are filled
with people playing doubles, andwe're over here playing singles
, just he and I.
And we're going and you knowI'm making him hit and drill.
And then after a while, he'slike you know what?
After like several times of usgoing, he's like we need to play
with other people.
I think he was like over me,like totally over me, and it's
like we need to go play withother people.
(13:57):
And I'm like, okay, but I'mnervous.
What are they going to think?
Are they going to think I'm notgood enough?
Are all the men going to try tohit at me?
And, by the way, playingpickleball y'all is so
interesting.
There are all nationalities,all languages.
It is like this littlemicrocosm of God's creation.
It's the coolest thing ever.
I had no idea all thesedifferent groups of people
(14:21):
played pickleball.
So I'm already kind of thinkingam I the odd one out?
I'm the female, I'm the whitegirl here.
Like, is this even?
Like, do they want to play withme Maybe?
Like these are the thoughts.
I'm being honest with you.
These are the thoughts thatwent through my head.
Like why am I thinking thatit's ridiculous?
But anyways, I'm thinking allof this and I'm like do they
(14:43):
want to play with David and I?
Are we going to be good?
And David makes us startplaying and we start playing.
And then we're like this isactually fun.
We were making some friends.
But then we realized we couldn'tremember people's names and I
felt so bad because he would getoff the court.
And I'm like well, I want toplay with them again.
What are their names?
And David and I would look ateach other and we're like okay,
we have got to do something hereto remember people's names.
So then we decided I was likeOK, just put it together.
(15:16):
It's one word Jennifer Lee.
So anytime you see either ofthem, it's Jennifer Lee.
So then when we saw them again,we're like Jennifer Lee, how
are you doing?
So we started remembering.
So we started kind of doinglike clever little things to
remember people's names while wewere playing.
So that became fun.
David and I are like this littleteam and we play other couples,
we play other men.
I mean, a lot of times we'replaying against two other guys
and I had to get over that.
At first I like almost criedbecause they were like targeting
(15:38):
me and trying to hit the ballat me and I was like I have got
to get better and be able todefend myself.
And then it became fun becauseit was like this challenge and I
started being able to hangright.
So and I love playing with men.
Now that is what the irony is,because they hit it so hard.
The game is fast and I actuallylove it.
No offense to my female friends, I love playing with women too,
but I have to tell you there'ssomething about playing with men
(15:59):
, where the game is justelevated and it's just tougher
and it makes me better, okay.
So, anyways, then my husbandgets hurt and I have to start
going by myself because I'm likeI'm not going to not go play
pickleball.
I've made some friends, so nowI'm forced to go make more
friends, and I have friends withall kinds of names that I am
not familiar with, so it's evenharder for me to remember them.
(16:22):
I have a friend that's namedBarag, a friend that's named
Mahi, and I remembered his namebecause I just think of Mahi,
mahi, fish, and I'm like that'sMahi and I remember him.
And then there's like Marshall,and then what are the other
names?
Oh my gosh, I Kim Jackson, allmy friends, all my friends there
, and I'm Lim and his wife, alex, like all these people.
(16:45):
Oh, another one his name was isOleg, and I was like how am I
ever going to remember that?
And I asked him how am I goingto remember your name?
And he goes, he had a kneebrace on and he said Oleg he
pointed to his knee because hehad the knee brace on.
I was like, oleg, I've got it,I've got it.
So having these clever littlethings helped me and I've
remembered their name.
And now every time I go, y'allmy husband is still hurt.
(17:06):
I go and people are like hey,kimberly.
And I'm like hey Oleg, hey Alex, hey Lim, hey Kim, everybody.
I'm saying hello.
All of a sudden I have thiscommunity of friends that I
never knew I would have had, butit's all surrounding the love
of pickleball and it's crazy.
I had no idea you could nothave told me that I would have
had these friends, okay, andit's so much fun.
(17:27):
So then it happened again.
A couple weeks ago startedBible study and when you go
every year to this Bible studythis is like my sixth year doing
it they change the study of theBible that you're doing and you
sit down with, like, well, 10to 12 women, something like that
, and you have a new leader andthey mix it up every year.
So you have a new leader andyou have a new group every year.
I did have someone in the groupthat I recognized and I realized
(17:51):
when I looked at her that we,you know, had been in a group
the year before and I could notremember her name and I thought,
how ridiculous is this that Ido not remember her name?
Like I'm mortified.
I'm mortified that I don'tremember her name, and it's not
just because I forgot it, it'sbecause I never really tried to
remember it.
I never did anything to try toremember her name, kind of like
(18:13):
what I did at Puckaball lastyear, you know, the year before
last, when I had her in my group.
I didn't actually try.
I was too worried about myselfwhen I was at Bible study.
Do I know enough about theBible?
Am I saying stupid stuff?
Did I study enough, like allthese weirdo things that I was.
That I was thinking and I don'tknow if this is y'all too, am I
the only one?
But these are the things thatI'm thinking?
(18:33):
And so I sat down this year andwe sat down at the first, you
know, meeting of the year and Irealized the first meeting is
the only one where everyone goesaround and introduces
themselves.
Now, all year we wear name tags, but still it's hard because
you feel embarrassed lookingdown at someone's name tag.
And I was like I am pulling outmy workbook and, as each person
introduced themselves, I wrotedown their first and last name
(18:55):
in the front of my workbook andI just sat there and I have a
whole list.
It's still sitting there and Ilove it.
Every time I open it I'm likeoh yeah, these are the ladies
that are in my group.
Now some more have come.
I'm not going to remember alltheir names right away, but a
couple right away.
I started kind of clicking withand talking with and I said I
have to remember their names.
So while they're talking, I'mlooking at them, like one girl,
her name was Jenny, so cute, shehad on like a scarf, and so I
(19:16):
kind of was like, okay, shedresses all cute and fancy.
And I was like, oh, I have afriend, jenny, in Austin that
dresses all fancy.
Her name's Jenny and I canremember Jenny, like I had my
list.
So when I had that visual imageof all the people in the group,
I looked around.
I'm like okay, this is working.
And then I got to talking withsome of them and it's working
y'all, it's building a communityso that when we say bye to
people, right, I can say bye,jenny, bye, so-and-so, like I
(19:40):
actually remember the name,that's.
All that it took was just thenext little step to remember a
name, so that now, all of asudden, when I see them the next
week, I'm like I know theirnames and we are already
building a friendship andcommunity, instead of being
embarrassed that we don'tremember everyone's name.
Here's another thing too AtPickleball I will have to go up
to someone and I may have playedwith them three or four times
(20:02):
and I don't let them get on thecourt without me asking their
name again.
I'm like I know I met youbefore.
Tell me your name again.
And they're like Okay, it'sJohn.
I'm like John, it's so nice tosee you.
I'm Kimberly.
Again, in case you forgot.
I know we have so many people.
I always give them grace andimmediately just say my name.
And do you know how many timesthey've said I'm so glad you
said that because I hadforgotten your name.
(20:23):
Do not be embarrassed to dothat.
Give people grace, let them offthe hook.
Let them off the hook, likeimmediately say what's your name
.
It's John.
Okay, awesome, I'm so glad I'mKimberly I didn't know if you
remember that, but it's so niceto see you again.
Y'all, that makes all thedifference, all the difference,
okay.
So that happened to me and y'allsee that it's working.
(20:45):
I am building friendships andcommunity and I have a couple
other things I'm involved in andI'm super stoked about it.
Y'all, it is actually working.
So I want to tell you todaythat the onus is on you, that
you have to do this.
But you may be asking howactually do I do that?
Like what?
What are the I need?
Like little steps, little notes, okay, well, I just kind of
shared them with you, but I'mgoing to put them into three
(21:05):
steps that you can take with youwhen you're out in the wild.
Starting today, starting today,tomorrow, whatever you want to
start doing, whether it's, youknow, start a new group, join a
club, start dancing lessons, aninstrument, a group, become a
leader of something I don't knowwhat it is for you, your
business, anything.
You can start buildingcommunity.
(21:26):
I want you to start number oneshowing up.
Show up somewhere, wherever youwant to be.
Stop this whole nonsense ofworrying about what other people
are thinking and that no oneinvited you and no one talks to
you.
Assume that when you go towherever you're going to go, no
one's going to talk to you.
This is not about someonecoming and saving you and
(21:49):
whisking you into a group andand, magically, with the little
fairy dust, giving you a groupof friends.
This is about you showing upwhere you are interested, where
you want to learn, where youwant to be, where you want to
lead and show up.
So that's number one you showup where it is you want to be.
Number two you warmly smile atpeople and ask them their name.
(22:12):
You look in their eyes and yousay Hello, it's so nice to meet
you.
What is your name?
My name's, you know, kelly.
Kelly, it's so nice to meet you.
I'm Kimberly.
How are you?
Is this your first time here?
You start talking, you warmlysmile at them and ask them their
name.
This is how your relationshipsbegin.
This is like the little seedthat you're planning for
(22:35):
yourself and for the otherperson.
Okay, and the other people thatyou're meeting?
This is what you do, okay?
So, number one you show up.
Number two you smile warmly atthem and ask them their name.
And here's number three youcome up with a clever way to
remember their name.
You actually have to remembertheir name.
(22:57):
You need to, because when yousay bye today or when you say
hello, next time you see them,you know their name.
Why are we just now doing this?
Like we should have learnedthis in kindergarten and maybe
we did, but we've been weird.
We've been weird and we've beenexpecting other people to do it
and we've been embarrassed andwe've been caught up in our own
(23:18):
mind drama.
This is it.
Let me repeat.
Number one show up where you'vebeen yearning to show up.
There is somewhere that you'vebeen yearning to show up or
something you've been yearningto do.
Okay, I don't know if it'sstart a bar class, start going
to a gym, pickleball cookingclass, I don't know what it is.
(23:38):
Okay.
Number two warmly smile atpeople and ask them their name
and begin the conversation.
And number three you cleverlyremember their name, whether
it's recording it on the voiceapp on your phone when you leave
, because you're like oh my gosh, I've got to like type.
You know her name really quick.
(23:58):
I'm gonna do it on my voice app, type it in your notes, write
it in your workbook.
Like I did Associate them witha family member.
Do something Like Oleg, remembersomething that's different
about them.
Like he had the brace on hisleg and I'm like Oleg.
That was like the greatest gifthe gave me was to help me with
that, because I could notremember his name for my life.
(24:20):
Right, this is what you doy'all.
This is what's going to helpyou when the onus is on you.
Instead of putting it on otherpeople to build your friendships
and community, you do it andyour life will change.
You will start building.
It's not going to be overnight.
You're not going to have bestfriends overnight, but you are
going to start building thefriendship and belonging and
(24:41):
community that you've longed for.
In fact, I told the girls thatwere there in high school like
some of them are scared to gosit with other people at lunch
at lunch tables.
Like, go sit with them.
They may not talk to you.
Go sit by them.
Maybe you can try.
Maybe you can warmly look intheir eyes and introduce
yourself.
This is how it all begins.
The onus is on you.
I'm so excited for you.
I think if you take these 3steps out into the wild, you
(25:04):
will see a big difference.
You will see it, you will feelit, you will be a happier person
and you will start having thatfulfillment and purpose and
friends that you have yearnedfor.
So that's it, ladies andgentlemen.
I'm so excited that you arehere.
I'm so glad that you listenedtoday.
You know you can join me onInstagram at
(25:24):
StartWithKimberlyBrock.
I'm not on there all the time.
I act like I'm on Instagram allthe time.
I'm not, but if you want to getinvolved with me, you can.
You can plug in that way Againstart with Kimberly Brock on
Facebook and Instagram, or youcan always go to my website,
kimberlybrockcom, where I havesome great things for you if
you're starting your businessand getting that going.
I may be adding some merch heresoon, so that will be fun All
(25:47):
things surrounded by you.
Know, I'm just getting startedand we're just getting started
because I believe that's theinitiative that we need.
We need to realize that we'reall in this together, we're all
in life together and there's somuch ahead for us.
Y'all, none of us have tappedinto our potential.
None of us are living our fullpotential that I find, and we
(26:08):
have so much more to give to theworld.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I know you do.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I know you can become more of the person that God
created you to be.
There's more room for you.
There's more fulfillment andpurpose.
So that's it.
Y'all have a great day Untilnext time.
Bye now.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Now this episode may be over, but our relationship
does not have to end here.
Head on over toKimberlyBrockcom and, yes, you
can get more valuableinformation for your journey and
you know what.
You don't need to go throughthis alone.
I would love to help you.
Thank you so much and have agreat day.
(26:47):
Bye.
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