Age is NOT the answer

Ever wondered why some people seem to carry an unshakable confidence, while others struggle regardless of their age? Let's unpack the myth that confidence naturally blossoms with age. Discover how I battled with low self-esteem and the pivotal mindset shifts that turned my life around. This episode is all about realizing that confidence is a choice—an ongoing process that demands self-awareness, bold actions, and detachment from others' opinions. You'll learn how to embrace a fearless mindset, transforming the way you perceive yourself with each brave step you take.

This conversation is your invitation to redefine your self-concept and inner narrative. By harnessing the power of positive self-dialogue and visualization, you can forge the confident version of yourself you've long aspired to be. I'll guide you through the importance of taking action, even if you don't feel ready, and highlight how these experiences strengthen your confidence. It's time to let go of the need for external validation and empower yourself from within. Whether you're 20 or 70, the choice to live authentically is yours. As I share my journey turning 50, I urge you to take that first bold step, write it down, and let's celebrate your progress together. The world is waiting for you to set it on fire!

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Make sure to connect with me on IG: @fiercemomboss

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the she's On Fire podcast.
I'm your host, jen Gaines, andthis podcast is for the woman
who is ready to step boldly intothe online business world with
unshakable confidence.
So today we're diving deep intoa belief that I've seen holding

(00:21):
a lot of women back, and it'sreally the idea that confidence,
that not caring what othersthink magically happens at a
certain age.
So you know, 30, 40, 50, 60,whatever it is.
But let me tell you somethingconfidence not caring what other

(00:43):
people think it doesn't comewith any age.
That bold, fearless I don'tcare what anyone thinks attitude
that comes with doing innerwork, and we're going to talk
about this today.
I'm going to give you somereally good ways that you can
start doing this.
So you might see me asconfident, as bold, as I turn 50

(01:09):
this week.
You might think, wow, she'sjust naturally that way, and I
say this all the time because Iwant to be very clear.
That is a product of the innerwork that I've done.
It's not just I became confidentone day.
It's not just that's how I'vealways been.

(01:32):
In fact, I had very lowconfidence.
I had very low self-esteem.
It's the product of rewiring mybrain.
I didn't magically wake up at44 and was all of a sudden
fearless.
I still feel fear, but I builtthis doing the inner work, and I

(01:56):
stress this so much because Iknow everybody wants to get out
there and make money and, youknow, do all the things.
But one of the things thatpeople often get held back by is
the fear is low confidence isyou know what their family or
friends are going to say, and soI'm going to give you ways to

(02:17):
combat this.
I've seen women in their 40sand 50s and even 60s.
I've worked with women in their60s even who are still held
back by fear of judgment, stillafraid to speak up, still
worried about what their familyand friends or even strangers on

(02:37):
the internet might say, and atthe same time, I've worked with
women in their 20s who areunapologetically owning their
space.
So it has zero to do with age.
So if you've been waiting forconfidence or the ability to

(02:58):
stop caring what others think,just to happen like, oh, this
year is going to be the yearthat I'm just going to, you know
, never worry anymore becauseI'm becoming older.
No, it doesn't work like that.
We're going to break it down.
So we've all heard the myth ofconfidence and boldness comes
with age.
I know people have heard this,I know you've heard, you know

(03:24):
certain age women say oh I just,you know, I just woke up one
day and I stopped caring.
And I don't believe that for asecond.
That's not how it works.
We've heard it before oh, whenI turn 40, I'll finally stop
caring what people think.
By 50, I'll have it all figuredout At 60, I'll be too old to

(03:45):
care what others say.
But let's be real.
If competence and boldnessautomatically came with age, we
wouldn't see women in their 50sstill hesitant to put themselves
out there or women in their 60sstill holding back on their
dreams.
I see it every day.
Confidence does not come withage.

(04:06):
Not caring what others thinkdoes not come with age.
It comes with doing the work.
It comes with making thedecision to do it.
And here's something to reallythink about Maybe you, maybe
you're somebody.
Maybe you maybe you're somebodyand you do feel like you care

(04:32):
less now than you did in your20s or 30s.
That's not because of age.
It's because at some point youmade a decision to stop letting
other people's opinions run yourlife.
It was a decision.
That decision wasn't because ofa birthday?
Maybe it was.
Maybe you know you turned 30and you're like you know what I

(04:52):
am done with worrying about whatother people think.
You're doing the inner work bymaking that decision and
following through.
So it wasn't because of abirthday.
It wasn't because of a birthday.
It was because you got tired ofplaying small, you got tired of
biting your tongue, you gottired of watching other people

(05:16):
go after the things that youwanted to have and you sat on
the sidelines, always secondguessing yourself.
You made a decision to stop,and that's the point.
Confidence and not caring whatothers think doesn't just happen
.
It happens when you decide tostop letting fear hold you back.

(05:38):
The best part is you don't haveto wait until you're 40, 50, 60
or 70 or any of that.
It doesn't matter what age youare.
Right now you can make thedecision right now, today.
You get to choose who you'regoing to be at any point in time

(06:00):
.
I know this because I've livedit.
The confidence that you see inme now it's not luck, it's not
something I was born with.
Like I said, it's not age.
It's the result of doing theinner work to rewire my mind and

(06:22):
break free from the weight ofother people's opinions.
So let's talk about whereconfidence really comes from,
because I think that this isimportant.
If confidence and boldness don'tjust magically appear because
of age, where are they going tocome from?

(06:44):
They come from the work you doon your self-concept, on
becoming self-aware, the way yousee yourself.
They come from shifting yourmindset, breaking the habit of
caring too much about outsideopinions, and I'm going to get
to how you do this.
But I want to talk about thebackground of it first.

(07:05):
They come from action.
The more you do the scary thing, the bolder you're going to
become.
Here's the truth, the realtruth.
Boldness isn't about being bornfearless.

(07:26):
It's about deciding that youare worthy of being seen and
heard and then reinforcing thatdecision every single day.
I want you to think about thisIf you never challenge your
negative self-talk, you'll stillbe battling the same doubts at

(07:46):
60 that you had or have at 30.
I see it all the time.
Or have at 30.
I see it all the time.
There are people in my family Isee it with.
There are women who I've workedwith that I see it with.
If you never put yourself outthere, you'll still feel just as

(08:20):
invisible and vulnerable at 50,as you do now, or 60, or 70,.
Whatever it is, confidence isbuilt, it's practiced, it's a
muscle you strengthen by doing,not a switch that flips at a
certain age.
So how can you cultivateconfidence at any age?
Now that we've busted the myththat confidence and boldness

(08:40):
magically happen with somemagical age, let's talk about
how you can actually build themat any stage in your life.
And you know what.
It does not need to take years.
It does not need to take years.
It does not need to take a longtime.
I work with women all the timeto help them rewire their brains

(09:02):
.
We use hypnosis.
We use different types ofmeditation.
Hypnosis is huge.
It's part of how I did it withmyself.
The first thing that you got todo.
I'm going to give you somesteps to do, because it's really
important.
You need to start working on itright now.

(09:24):
Don't wait till next week,don't wait till next month,
don't wait till next year,because if you just wait, you
know what?
In 2026, you're going to wantto listen to the same exact
podcast, because you're going tobe sitting in the same exact
place as you are now.
So let's do this right now.
You need to shift your innernarrative and rewire your

(09:46):
self-concept.
Your thoughts about yourselfdetermine how you show up in
this world.
If, deep down, you believe I'mnot good enough, I'm not meant
to be seen, I'm not interestingenough, then no matter what you
do, you'll carry that energyinto every space that you enter,
everywhere you go.

(10:07):
So how do you shift this?

(10:32):
You want to pay attention toyour inner dialogue.
Stop saying things like I'm nota confident person.
Instead, I want you to, rightnow, make the decision.
I'm learning to be confident.
Confidence is something that Iwill practice daily.
I am showing up with boldness,even when I feel afraid, because
the only way that you willbecome bold is to act bold and

(10:54):
to take the action that you needto take.
Start visualizing yourself asthe woman who walks into a room
with certainty, the woman whospeaks her truth without
hesitation, even if your voicetrembles.
Own the room, Walk in with yourhead held high, wherever it is

(11:25):
you go, whether it's to thegrocery store, to the bank or to
a family gathering.
The only way you're going tostop caring what people think is
if you hold your head high andyou stop caring what people
think.
There's another episode comingup about this that you're going

(11:48):
to need to listen to, but startvisualizing yourself as the
woman who walks into a room withcertainty.
This is so important.
Visualization is crucial.
It is a key to unlock who youwant to be.

(12:09):
It is a key to unlock who youwant to be.
Your brain believes what youtell it most often, so you need
to feed it with empoweringbeliefs and you'll start seeing

(12:30):
yourself differently.
Next, you want to take boldaction before you're ready, and
I know that this is a difficultone, but the more things you do
that scare you, the less scaryit becomes.
Confidence is built by doing.
You have to do the.
There are so many times where Iwill say to somebody for

(12:54):
talking about their marketingand they want to connect with
more people and I'm like, golive on Instagram.
And I've heard it so many timesoh, I'm not, I'm not ready for
that.
You're never going to be readyuntil you do it and become ready
.
Your confidence is going to bebuilt by doing.

(13:17):
Post the content even if yourhands are shaking.
People want leaders.
People want to be inspired.
Speak up even if your voice istrembling, even if you feel

(13:48):
awkward.
Do the live Instagram, tiktokin a Facebook group, whatever it
is, whatever it is, where yousay, oh, I can't do that yet,
I'm not ready, you're right,you're not ready, you're not
going to be ready until you doit.
And then, once you've done it,then you're ready.
Put your offers out there, evenif you're worried about

(14:09):
rejection.
I want you to right now, today,not tomorrow, not next week.
I want you to write down onebold move that you've been
avoiding because you don't feelready.
Whatever it is.
Don't feel ready whatever it is.
Write it down and then, within24 hours, I want you to do it,

(14:45):
and you will be so surprised howgood it feels once you've done
it, how proud you'll feel aboutdoing it.
And that is the way that you'regoing to build your confidence.
That is going to make you feelbold when you feel like you're
not ready to do something, andthen you do it anyways.
That's what's going to make youfeel bold.

(15:06):
That's what's going to buildthat boldness and that fierce
mentality inside you.
And the last thing you need todetach from others' opinions.
You've got to do this.
I don't care who they are.
I don't care family friends,internet trolls, it doesn't

(15:30):
matter.
Detach yourself from thoseopinions.
Again.
There's another podcast comingup on this, because it will
really help you about otherpeople's opinions.
But I want you to understandthis the most powerful women in

(15:52):
business leadership have onething in common they don't seek
permission to be bold.
They don't think oh, I wonderwhat so-and-so is going to think
when I do this.
They just do it.
If your confidence depends onother people's approval, you're

(16:16):
always going to be at the mercyand always going to be giving
the power to what other peoplethink.
So if you take that action stepand you do something bold in
the next 24 hours, don't worryabout other opinions.

(16:36):
They don't matter.
Do the thing anyways and you'regoing to see your confidence,
increase your confidence,increase Confidence.
And not caring what others think.
It's not an age thing, it's not.
It's a decision thing, it's apractice, it's a habit and it

(17:07):
doesn't matter if you'relistening and you're 20, 30, 40,
50, 60, 70.
I don't care what your age is.
You get to choose to startshowing up differently.
You get to choose who you wantto be Choosing to be that bold

(17:28):
woman.
It is a choice that you get tomake, and making that choice and
following through with theaction on it, it's going to
change your world.
So take the action now.
Do it right now.

(17:53):
Write it down In the next 24hours, do it, and then I want
you to DM me at fiercemombosscomNot com, just fiercemomboss on
Instagram and tell me about it.
I just want to hear.
I want to hear that you've doneit.
Take ownership of it, becauseyou are making a big decision to

(18:18):
change your entire life withthis one small action and then
it's going to snowball andyou're going to create momentum
and keep going.
I want you to set your world onfire and I know you can, no
matter what age you are.
I'm turning 50 this week andlooking back over my life, and

(18:50):
looking back over my life how Iwish I had done the inner work
in my 20s or 30s.
But here I am now and I am sograteful for what I've built.
I want to see you doing thesame thing, because I know you

(19:11):
can.
So send me a DM, let me hearall about it and I'll talk to
you soon.
Bye.