August 23, 2025 • 10 mins
There’s a version of you that built everything you have now.
She's been resourceful.
She kept you afloat.
She got you seen.
She helped you survive.
But she’s not the one who’s going to take you to your next level.
In this episode of The Awakening Series, I’m exposing the hidden ways we shrink, settle, and self-protect...even inside a business that looks like it’s working.
This isn’t about abandoning her.
It’s about thanking her…
and then becoming the woman your future actually needs.
The fire is rising.
If you haven't joined the free Awakening go HERE now so you don't miss a thing!
Thoughts on this episode? Send me a message
If this episode helped you I would be so grateful if you would leave a 5 star review. If you do leave a review please send me a message at Jen@jengaines.com and we will send you a special thank you gift.
Make sure to connect with me on IG: @fiercemomboss
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back to the she's On Fire podcast, the
business empowerment podcast forwomen ready to step out, follow
their heart and make an impactin this world.
I'm your host, jen Gaines, andwe talk all things marketing and
mindset to truly crack yoursoul open and light your world
(00:24):
on fire.
Truly crack your soul open andlight your world on fire.
So today, first of all, if youhaven't listened to the previous
episode right before this, golisten to that first, because
these episodes are runningtogether.
They go hand in hand.
So if you did listen to it andepisode one cracked something
open for you, this one mightburn a little, because today
(00:48):
we're talking about the thingthat's actually keeping you
stuck.
It's not fear, though that'spart of it.
It's not failure or potentiallyfailing.
It's not your business strategy.
It's the lie of the safe life,and today we are burning that
(01:09):
down.
I've been an entrepreneur since2008.
I didn't have a backup plan.
This was the plan but I stillfound myself choosing safety.
Found myself choosing safetynot in a job, but in how I
(01:31):
played the game and how visibleI allowed myself to be and how
much I let myself want.
I stayed in comfort cocoons noone could see.
I don't talk in terms ofcomfort zones.
If you've been around for awhile, you know this.
In terms of comfort zones, ifyou've been around for a while,
you know this.
I talk in terms of comfortcocoons because really that's
what it feels like when you'replaying it safe, when you're
(01:52):
afraid to step out, you're in acocoon where it's cozy, it's
comfy and it's safe.
I built businesses behind thescenes.
I was visible, but only to apoint.
I was bold, but never too bold.
I followed what worked, evenwhen it didn't feel like me
(02:15):
anymore.
And the truth is I was managingmy fire Carefully,
strategically, as if the more ofme showed, the more there was
to lose.
That was my safety net, thatwas my protection.
It wasn't a nine to five, itwas the nervous system version
(02:39):
of don't get too loud.
And eventually that version ofsafe started to feel like a cage
, not because anyone put methere, because I kept shrinking
to fit it.
So let me break this down foryou.
Your business can still feellike your comfort cocoon.
(03:03):
Success can become a hidingplace.
Just because you're buildingdoesn't mean you're rising.
There's a version of you that'ssafe, strategic, predictable,
controlled, and I know thisbecause I've lived there.
(03:24):
Even after years in business,even after seeing results, even
after seeing client results, Itold myself I don't need to make
more money.
I don't need to make a lot ofmoney.
I started this to support myfamily.
I just wanted enough money tostay at home with my baby.
And yes, all of that was true.
(03:47):
That was the mission in thebeginning.
But somewhere along the way italso became a comfort cocoon, a
story I could keep tellingmyself.
So I didn't have to want more,so I didn't have to stretch.
So I didn't have to want more,so I didn't have to stretch.
So I didn't have to fully ownmy power, because wanting more
(04:14):
would have meant owning that theonly thing in my way was me.
It felt safer to say I'm goodwith where I'm at than to face.
The truth of what's possiblefor me is as big as I'm willing
to claim.
I'm going to say that again isas big as I'm willing to claim.
(04:44):
I'm going to say that again.
The truth is what's possiblefor me is as big as I'm willing
to claim.
That goes for everybody.
And listen, there are women outthere doing 10 times what I've
done, not because they're moretalented, not because they're
more deserving.
But because they stoppedmanaging their power, they went
(05:06):
full in with their power andthat realization, in a way,
wrecked me, but it also freed meat the same time, because I
finally saw it.
I wasn't afraid of failure, Iwas afraid of what would happen
(05:27):
if it actually all worked outand I know that sounds crazy,
but I see this so often, andeven for me, when I first
realized that I'm like I'm notafraid of success, I want
success.
Who doesn't want success?
Whenever somebody is afraid ofsuccess, and I tell them that
(05:49):
they always fight me on it and Iknow how they feel because I
was there.
Here's what I believe.
I truly, 100% believe this Godspirit didn't put this fire in
you so you could keep it at amanageable temperature.
(06:12):
You weren't asked to makeyourself smaller or safer or
more palatable.
You were asked to rise, to leadto burn, and the version of you
that's been managing her light,she's not coming with you.
So I want to ask you this, Iwant you to think about it when
(06:37):
have you been managing your fire?
Where are you still playing itsafe?
Now you may be back in thebeginning, that's okay, but I
want you to think about thisbecause I want it to not happen
to you, not happen to you.
(07:00):
So where are the areas thatyou're playing it safe, even
though no one is asking you to?
Where have you outgrown yourown story?
But you're still clinging to itlike it's the truth.
You didn't come this far justto plateau.
You didn't come here to buildall of this, just to survive.
You built it because you werecalled.
(07:23):
That's why it's on your heart.
That's why I see so many womenwho quit for various reasons,
being afraid, not getting towhere they want to be quick
enough, which I won't even talkabout the long game right now.
But the reason why I see somany women quit or slow down and
(07:48):
then come back is becausethey've been called.
And most likely, if you're here, it's because you were called.
And now the calling is gettinglouder.
I want you to say this with me,write it down.
I'll go slow first and I'mgoing to say it a second time I
(08:09):
am done choosing safety oversoul.
I release the story that goodenough is enough.
I open myself to the fullmagnitude of my calling.
(08:30):
No filter, no guilt, no apology.
I'm going to say it again I amdone choosing safety over soul.
I release the story that goodenough is enough.
(08:52):
I open myself to the fullmagnitude of my calling.
No filter, no guilt, no apology.
Because here's the thing themoment you stop playing tug of
war with your fire and you stepinto it is the moment everything
(09:15):
starts to move.
This is your awakening, thiscan be your awakening right now.
It can be your release.
Awakening right now.
(09:36):
It can be your release and thiscan be your rise.
The version of you that onlyasked for enough to get by.
She got you here.
Honor her, thank her, honor her, thank her.
But it's time to let her rest,because the version that's
coming next, she isuncontainable, she's wealthy,
(09:56):
she's anointed and she's alreadyinside you waiting.
So let's freaking go.
Welcome back to the she's On Fire podcast, the
business empowerment podcast forwomen ready to step out, follow
their heart and make an impactin this world.
I'm your host, jen Gaines, andwe talk all things marketing and
mindset to truly crack yoursoul open and light your world
(00:24):
on fire.
Truly crack your soul open andlight your world on fire.
So today, first of all, if youhaven't listened to the previous
episode right before this, golisten to that first, because
these episodes are runningtogether.
They go hand in hand.
So if you did listen to it andepisode one cracked something
open for you, this one mightburn a little, because today
(00:48):
we're talking about the thingthat's actually keeping you
stuck.
It's not fear, though that'spart of it.
It's not failure or potentiallyfailing.
It's not your business strategy.
It's the lie of the safe life,and today we are burning that
(01:09):
down.
I've been an entrepreneur since2008.
I didn't have a backup plan.
This was the plan but I stillfound myself choosing safety.
Found myself choosing safetynot in a job, but in how I
(01:31):
played the game and how visibleI allowed myself to be and how
much I let myself want.
I stayed in comfort cocoons noone could see.
I don't talk in terms ofcomfort zones.
If you've been around for awhile, you know this.
In terms of comfort zones, ifyou've been around for a while,
you know this.
I talk in terms of comfortcocoons because really that's
what it feels like when you'replaying it safe, when you're
(01:52):
afraid to step out, you're in acocoon where it's cozy, it's
comfy and it's safe.
I built businesses behind thescenes.
I was visible, but only to apoint.
I was bold, but never too bold.
I followed what worked, evenwhen it didn't feel like me
(02:15):
anymore.
And the truth is I was managingmy fire Carefully,
strategically, as if the more ofme showed, the more there was
to lose.
That was my safety net, thatwas my protection.
It wasn't a nine to five, itwas the nervous system version
(02:39):
of don't get too loud.
And eventually that version ofsafe started to feel like a cage
, not because anyone put methere, because I kept shrinking
to fit it.
So let me break this down foryou.
Your business can still feellike your comfort cocoon.
(03:03):
Success can become a hidingplace.
Just because you're buildingdoesn't mean you're rising.
There's a version of you that'ssafe, strategic, predictable,
controlled, and I know thisbecause I've lived there.
(03:24):
Even after years in business,even after seeing results, even
after seeing client results, Itold myself I don't need to make
more money.
I don't need to make a lot ofmoney.
I started this to support myfamily.
I just wanted enough money tostay at home with my baby.
And yes, all of that was true.
(03:47):
That was the mission in thebeginning.
But somewhere along the way italso became a comfort cocoon, a
story I could keep tellingmyself.
So I didn't have to want more,so I didn't have to stretch.
So I didn't have to want more,so I didn't have to stretch.
So I didn't have to fully ownmy power, because wanting more
(04:14):
would have meant owning that theonly thing in my way was me.
It felt safer to say I'm goodwith where I'm at than to face.
The truth of what's possiblefor me is as big as I'm willing
to claim.
I'm going to say that again isas big as I'm willing to claim.
(04:44):
I'm going to say that again.
The truth is what's possiblefor me is as big as I'm willing
to claim.
That goes for everybody.
And listen, there are women outthere doing 10 times what I've
done, not because they're moretalented, not because they're
more deserving.
But because they stoppedmanaging their power, they went
(05:06):
full in with their power andthat realization, in a way,
wrecked me, but it also freed meat the same time, because I
finally saw it.
I wasn't afraid of failure, Iwas afraid of what would happen
(05:27):
if it actually all worked outand I know that sounds crazy,
but I see this so often, andeven for me, when I first
realized that I'm like I'm notafraid of success, I want
success.
Who doesn't want success?
Whenever somebody is afraid ofsuccess, and I tell them that
(05:49):
they always fight me on it and Iknow how they feel because I
was there.
Here's what I believe.
I truly, 100% believe this Godspirit didn't put this fire in
you so you could keep it at amanageable temperature.
(06:12):
You weren't asked to makeyourself smaller or safer or
more palatable.
You were asked to rise, to leadto burn, and the version of you
that's been managing her light,she's not coming with you.
So I want to ask you this, Iwant you to think about it when
(06:37):
have you been managing your fire?
Where are you still playing itsafe?
Now you may be back in thebeginning, that's okay, but I
want you to think about thisbecause I want it to not happen
to you, not happen to you.
(07:00):
So where are the areas thatyou're playing it safe, even
though no one is asking you to?
Where have you outgrown yourown story?
But you're still clinging to itlike it's the truth.
You didn't come this far justto plateau.
You didn't come here to buildall of this, just to survive.
You built it because you werecalled.
(07:23):
That's why it's on your heart.
That's why I see so many womenwho quit for various reasons,
being afraid, not getting towhere they want to be quick
enough, which I won't even talkabout the long game right now.
But the reason why I see somany women quit or slow down and
(07:48):
then come back is becausethey've been called.
And most likely, if you're here, it's because you were called.
And now the calling is gettinglouder.
I want you to say this with me,write it down.
I'll go slow first and I'mgoing to say it a second time I
(08:09):
am done choosing safety oversoul.
I release the story that goodenough is enough.
I open myself to the fullmagnitude of my calling.
(08:30):
No filter, no guilt, no apology.
I'm going to say it again I amdone choosing safety over soul.
I release the story that goodenough is enough.
(08:52):
I open myself to the fullmagnitude of my calling.
No filter, no guilt, no apology.
Because here's the thing themoment you stop playing tug of
war with your fire and you stepinto it is the moment everything
(09:15):
starts to move.
This is your awakening, thiscan be your awakening right now.
It can be your release.
Awakening right now.
(09:36):
It can be your release and thiscan be your rise.
The version of you that onlyasked for enough to get by.
She got you here.
Honor her, thank her, honor her, thank her.
But it's time to let her rest,because the version that's
coming next, she isuncontainable, she's wealthy,
(09:56):
she's anointed and she's alreadyinside you waiting.
So let's freaking go.
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