070 | Why Giving Feedback Isn't Mean, It Makes You a Great Leader

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If giving feedback makes you feel like the bad guy… let me ask you this: when was the last time silence got you the result you actually wanted?

In this quick hit, I’m sharing the story of a client who learned—painfully—that staying quiet to “protect” someone’s feelings can backfire in a big way. And I get it. You built your business on excellence and empathy. But here’s the truth: silence isn’t empathy. It’s sabotage.

I’m here to help you shift your mindset, drop the guilt, and stop cleaning up everyone else’s messes. Because when you avoid feedback, you’re not being kind, you’re avoiding discomfort. And that’s not leadership. That’s self-preservation in a really nice blazer. So if you’re ready to lead with clarity (not chaos), hit play. This one’s short, sharp, and straight to the point.

In this episode, you’ll learn…

• Why silence in leadership isn’t empathy — it’s sabotage.
• How delaying feedback erodes trust more than delivering it ever could.
• A flashlight vs. flamethrower mindset shift that will change the way you lead.
• The surprising truth about what your team really needs from you (hint: not approval).
• How speaking up—awkward or not—builds the kind of respect that lasts.

This episode at a glance:

[2:32] - It wasn’t the truth that hurt her employee. It was the delay in giving it that did.

[3:03] -  Think of feedback like the flashlight, not the flamethrower.

[3:24] - Your team doesn’t need your approval. They need your calibration.

[3:51] - That’s the difference between being liked and being respected.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Subscribe to the Future of Leadership newsletter on LinkedIn: weekly strategies, stories, and AI tools to help you lead without losing your mind.

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Episode Transcript

Dawn Andrews (00:00):
If you think giving feedback makes you the

(00:01):
bad guy or bad girl, let me askyou this, when was the last time
silence got you the results youactually wanted? Welcome to
she's that founder. BusinessStrategy and time management for
female founders with a littlemagic from Ai. This is the no

(00:22):
fluff corner of the internet forbold women building big things.
I'm your host, Dawn Andrews, andthis quick hit is your hot shot
of truth, clarity, or just aloving shove in the right
direction today. Welcome to mylazy Sunday. Let's get into it.
So feedback, giving it, notgiving it, delaying giving it,

(00:44):
you're not wrong to care. Youbuilt your business and your
reputation on excellence andempathy. But let's be clear,
silence isn't empathy, it'ssabotage. Let me tell you about
one of my clients, and as youknow, I always change the name
of my clients to protect theirprivacy. So one of my clients is

(01:04):
an entertainment businessmanager running a multi seven
figure firm. Her juniorassociate had promise, smart,
eager, charismatic with clients,but the details sloppy, missed
signatures, calendar errors,client asks that got buried in

(01:26):
17 different email threads. Justreally disorganized, and instead
of addressing it head on, shejust kept cleaning up behind him
quietly. She'd redo the prepdocs before meetings, resend
contracts to herself, becauseshe didn't want to bruise his
confidence, because he was stilllearning until the day, a high

(01:49):
profile client spotted an errorshe missed. She had no safety
net with her employee, and theemployee didn't really have a
safety net with her because shecouldn't hold it all. She missed
it, and it cost them a big deal.
The client said, I thought youhad this under control, right?
Like that's absolutely the lastthing you want to hear,

(02:11):
especially when you've beentrying so desperately to hold
everything together. So shefinally had the talk. It was an
overdue, emotionally loadedperformance review that shocked
the associate. They thoughteverything was fine. In fact,
they thought they were doingreally well. But here's the
thing, it wasn't the truth thathurt her employee. It was the

(02:33):
delay in giving it that didbecause when you avoid feedback
to protect someone's feelings.
You're not really protectingthem. You're protecting yourself
from the discomfort. And that'snot leadership. That's self
preservation in a fancy blazerand nice blouse. Giving feedback
isn't mean y'all. It's whatmakes you a respected, trusted,

(02:57):
bulletproof CEO. So here's alittle mindset tweak that
changes everything. Think offeedback like the flashlight,
not the flamethrower. Feedbackshows the way forward. It
doesn't scorch the earth. Youdon't need to yell, you don't
need to shame. You need to shinea light when someone's veering

(03:19):
off course, say it whensomeone's dialed in, name it.
Your team doesn't need yourapproval. They need your
calibration, and if you don'tprovide it, they'll guess and
they'll guess wrong. This isn'tabout being perfect with your
words. It's about being presentwith your leadership, because
when you do your team actuallygets better and you get to lead

(03:42):
instead of constantly cleaningup. So please stop thinking that
feedback is a confrontation.
Start seeing it as acontribution. That's the
difference between being likedand being respected, right? And
if you want to be a respectedCEO, you got to speak up, even
when it's awkward. Told you itwas a short and sharp, quick

(04:02):
hit, and if this hits home foryou, don't just nod. Don't just
say yes. Don't just save thisepisode. Do something about it.
Subscribe to our future ofleadership newsletter on
LinkedIn, weekly strategies,stories and tools, including AI
tools to help you lead withoutlosing your mind. Now, go, be

(04:23):
that founder, and I'll see younext time you.