075 | Drop the Act: Why Transparent Leaders Build Stronger Teams

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Pretending you're unbothered as a leader? It’s like wearing emotional Spanx; smooth on the outside, can’t breathe on the inside.

In this short and sharp episode, I’m calling out the pressure to perform instead of lead, and why trying to appear polished can actually kill connection, creativity, and trust on your team. I’ll share one cringe-but-true moment that changed the way I show up and give you a mindset shift (and one simple line) that will help you lead with power, not pretense.

In this episode, you’ll learn…

• Why performance-based leadership is suffocating your power
• How pretending you're "fine" erodes team trust and creativity
• The leadership reframe: unreadable ≠ strong — relatable = powerful

This episode at a glance:

[0:30] - That’s not power. That’s performance under pressure.

[2:16] - I brought pain into that room voluntarily, I chose style over strength.

[2:54] -We think we’re being strong, but we’re silencing the very signals that make us powerful.

[4:25] -You weren’t born to suffer for your leadership aesthetic. You were born to lead grounded, real, and barefoot if you damn well please.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Download the Feedback Fix – Free Guide
  Say what needs to be said; clearly, confidently, and with leadership integrity. Let AI help you find the words.

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Episode Transcript

Dawn Andrews (00:00):
Pretending you're unbothered as a leader. It's
like walking around an emotionalSpanx. From the outside, smooth
inside, you can't breathe. Andthen add high heels to that
nightmare. Heels you knewweren't broken in, but you wore
them anyway because they lookedgood. Yeah, that's what

(00:21):
pretending feels like. You lookcomposed, you look powerful, but
you're counting the secondsuntil you can get out of there
and take those damn things off.
That's not power, that'sperformance under pressure.
Thisis she's that founder the no
fluff corner of the internet forbold women building big things.

(00:42):
I'm Dawn Andrews, and this quickhit is your hot shot of truth
clarity or just a loving shovein the right direction.
So let'sget into it. Hey everybody,
welcome back. So glad to haveyou. These short episodes are
when I get to just be super,super real with you guys. So
quick story for you. I wasleading a training session for

(01:04):
200 executives. Big day, bigroom. I wore these cute new
shoes that I hadn't broken inyet, leopard print flats. They
were fantastic. Completed thelook, so to speak. And I wore
them because they matched theoutfit, and they felt leadery. I

(01:28):
mean, honestly, I felt like Ikind of was crushing it. But by
10am my feet were shredded,blisters, limping. The shoes had
stretched in a weird way so theyweren't fully staying on my
feet. It was like wearingpainful flip flops. And the
worst part, I couldn't focus. Iwasn't present. I wasn't
powerful. I was silentlyscreaming through every comment,

(01:50):
every transition, every breakoutsession, smiling on the outside
and suffering underneath. Thesecond I got back to my room at
lunch break, I threw the shoesout, literally toss them in the
trash. And maybe you feel likethis is a, you know, a big
reaction. Put some band aids ongirl. You can get that handled.
No, but this is why I threw themout, because I realized that I

(02:12):
brought pain into that roomvoluntarily. I chose style over
strength and being performativeover being present.
And thereason I'm calling it out is
because we do that a lot asleaders. We walk into leadership

(02:35):
rooms blistered, sometimesliterally, sometimes
emotionally. We smile throughthings that hurt. We nod when
someone misses a deadline ormakes a sexist comment in a
meeting. We let it slide when wewant to scream, no, not, okay.
And when we do these things, wethink we're being strong, but

(02:57):
actually we're silencing thevery signals that make us
powerful.
So here's this week'smindset. Tweak the strongest
leaders aren't unreadable.
They're relatable. If your teamnever sees your frustration,
your truth, your fire, theywon't bring theirs. They'll
perform for you. They'll hidefrom you. They'll give you the

(03:21):
version of themselves they thinkyou'll approve of. And that is
how creativity dies. That's howtrust erodes.
So here's yourpermission slip. Take off the
heels, toss the emotional Spanx,say what's true, and try this

(03:41):
line next time something doesn'tsit right. I want to be honest.
That didn't land well for me.
Can we talk about it? That's nottoo much, that's not drama,
that's leadership, that's youbeing a clear signal in a noisy
room. And you'd be surprised howmuch stronger your team becomes

(04:02):
when you show up unfiltered,because truth isn't weakness,
it's direction. Told you it wasshort and sharp. That's how we
do.
If this hits home for you,don't just nod, download the
feedback fix and start sayingwhat needs to be said clearly
and confidently. And if you'restill walking around in
blistering shoes and emotionalSpanx, Oh girl, toss them out.

(04:27):
You weren't born to suffer foryour leadership esthetic. You
were born to lead grounded, realand barefoot, if you damn well
please. Because I certainly wishI would have back in the day see
you next time you