16. Embracing Your Sexuality

Episode Transcript
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Kristy Yee (00:00):
Oh shit already hit the microphone.

Angie Yu (00:03):
That's okay.
Welcome

Kristy Yee (00:05):
back.

(00:30):
Welcome back to season two ofshit.
We don't tell mom,

Angie Yu (00:33):
we are currently recording separately.
Because we are under somewhatsemi locked down here in
Vancouver.
So we don't want to piss off ourhealth officer.

Kristy Yee (00:46):
And do something really exciting happened during
the Christmas holidays.

Angie Yu (00:50):
Oh yeah.
What's that

Kristy Yee (00:51):
I was going to ask you to, to share would you like
to share some exciting news toour listeners?
Our shitters our shit heads arepoop troops, So

Angie Yu (01:05):
the.
Exciting news.
Is that, how do I phrase this?
We wanted an award.
We are an award-winning podcast.
How cool.
And it's

Kristy Yee (01:14):
also super weird to say that for ourselves.

Angie Yu (01:17):
It is.
Yeah, I think that's prettyincredible.
The Asian podcast network is runby Jerry wan, our friend Jerry
over at just like media put onan inaugural Asian podcast
award.

Kristy Yee (01:29):
And we were so humbly awarded with the best
wellness podcasts of 2020.
So yeah.

Angie Yu (01:36):
Yeah, Definitely humbled, definitely really
honored.
And it felt incredible to hearthat we had won gold among our
finalist friends, which is

Kristy Yee (01:47):
we have colors of success and thrive and thread

Angie Yu (01:51):
that's right.
Awesome women of the pocketingworld.
For the best wellness podcast.
And when we were on video, Jerrywas like, and gold.
We have shit.
We don't tell mom and Christyfreaked out.

Kristy Yee (02:04):
I mean, you were freaking out too.
I was,

Angie Yu (02:06):
I was freaking on the inside on the outside was super
calm.

Kristy Yee (02:09):
I don't know how you can do that.
I wear everything on my sleeve,on my face, all over my body.

Angie Yu (02:15):
I feel like that's a topic for another time,

Kristy Yee (02:17):
so today we're going to open up season two with sex
because how juicy juice is that?
But what about sex?
Sex is so broad.
it's taboo, but it's also very.
Sexualized sex is verysexualized.

Angie Yu (02:31):
Yeah.
It's taboo, but it's everywhere.

Kristy Yee (02:33):
Exactly.
It's

Angie Yu (02:34):
pervasive and taboo at the same time.
It's everywhere yet.
We don't really talk about itfrom a meaningful standpoint.
So

Kristy Yee (02:41):
let's talk about why sex is taboo then why do you
think sex is taboo?
Hmm.

Angie Yu (02:46):
I think there's a lot to do with it.
There's like religion andconservative upbringing, but I
feel like those are all how wehave reacted to sex as humans.
Why really it is taboo.
Like I think if you get down tolike the bio psychological
aspect, it's probably because itreminds us so much of being
animals.
it's such a primal instinct,right?

Kristy Yee (03:08):
Like, are we ashamed of this animalistic instinct
probably or embarrassed by it?
Like, we don't want to be, youknow, cause we're humans and
we're so

Angie Yu (03:20):
but are we, are we a lot of us, we feel that we own
this planet when in fact wedon't right.

Kristy Yee (03:28):
So subconsciously we're like, Oh, we're not
animals.

Angie Yu (03:32):
We can control our animal instincts like sex.

Kristy Yee (03:34):
So we're like, we don't want to be associated with
those filthy animals.

Angie Yu (03:38):
That's right.
I think that's the core of it.
But then there's so many thingsthat have spun off from that
shame.

Kristy Yee (03:45):
Like religion, for example.
Yep.

Angie Yu (03:47):
Or eternity like

Kristy Yee (03:49):
patriarchy,

Angie Yu (03:50):
patriarchy, I don't know, man.
It's just like such acomplicated thing.
Sex.
Like it's sex is complicated.
It's also not complicated.
You know, it's everything.

Kristy Yee (03:59):
So when I was thinking about this, I was like,
okay, well we want to talk aboutsex.
And our show is all aboutuntapped realizing things.
So why is sex taboo?
So I literally Googled why a sextaboo.
Nice.
And what did he send?
And so the first result camefrom Reddit.
Of course, of course.
This is a long one so I'm notgoing to go through the whole

(04:22):
thing, but basically they brokeit down to three parts.
And this is just someone'spersonal theories.
They specifically mentionedthere are no experts, but the
first one was sexist, dangerous.
Historically sex was dangerous.
So they mentioned.
Obviously there is the STDproblem.
But it's unwanted pregnancy,Draining resources

(04:43):
Life-threatening for the mother.
It's a dangerous thing to beengaged in.
Second thing is people could notprove paternity.
So if you limit sex and youlimit sexual partners, then it
becomes more intimate andexclusive.
And you know who the father ofthe child is.
But then I also I've read Ithink tribes or communities back

(05:04):
in the days, like way back inthe days having multiple sexual
partners is just a normal thing.
Yeah.
And that the community willraise the child.
Like it doesn't really matterwho the father is.
So I don't know if I agree withthis person.
Yeah.

Angie Yu (05:17):
I guess that would be more like.
not way back in the days withtribes, but a bit for more move
it a bit more forward into likemore modern sites,

Kristy Yee (05:26):
maybe like

Angie Yu (05:26):
Victorian times and shit like that.

Kristy Yee (05:28):
Right.
Yeah.
Or even like in the fuckingmedieval times yeah, okay.
Yeah.
And I'm here thinking aboutfucking stone ages.

Angie Yu (05:34):
Yeah, because I brought up the whole animal
instinct thing earlier, which islike, So primal, right?

Kristy Yee (05:41):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then the third thing is menwant to control women.
So I guess this is a patriarch.

Angie Yu (05:48):
So actually when you were talking, I was going to
say, how come the two thingsthat you named are all about
what it does to a women?
Like that stood out to me like,Oh, it's dangerous, but it's not
dangerous for the man.
No, no, no, no.
It's not draining resources forthe men.
No, no, no, no.
It's training resources for themother and it's dangerous for
the mother.
Like what the fuck?
Right.

Kristy Yee (06:07):
I was actually thinking about draining
resources from just thecommunity.
Like, now the men will have tohunt more.
To feed this baby.
I don't

Angie Yu (06:15):
know.
Going back to the tribe.

Kristy Yee (06:16):
I know.
I know.
But even, so like, if you'retalking about medieval times or
whatever, Either parent willhave to provide another mouth to
feed.

Angie Yu (06:25):
I think the third point though about how it's men
wanting to control women?
Like, boom, that is.
So accurate, even the first twocan be wrapped up in that.
It's just all about control forthe men, right?
Because they can't have babies.
They, the only way for them tomake sure their genes live on is
the real us.
And we're a fucking vessel tofucking produce these.

(06:46):
Babies for them.
And that's just how biologyworks.
And that fucking sucks.
This actually reminds me, Iactually watched the ripper on
Netflix.
So it's a, docu-series about theYorkshire ripper.
I think this happened in likethe forties, thirties, forties
or so where he killed a bunch ofwomen.
And he was nicknamed theYorkshire ripper because the way

(07:08):
he killed them was absolutelyhorrendous.
And it reminded people of Jackthe ripper.
And the docu-series, if youhaven't watched it, I highly
recommend it.
It's not super gory.
It's not super spooky.
It's actually has a fantasticfeminist angle and spoiler
alert.
The story starts off saying thathe focused on killing
prostitutes.
If you want to binge it and youdon't want to hear the rest of

(07:31):
this, please fast forward, liketwo minutes.
But it turns out the whole storystoryline of the prostitutes was
a bias that was Solidified bythe men in the police force and
the men in journalism.

Kristy Yee (07:42):
So it wasn't just prostitutes.

Angie Yu (07:44):
It wasn't just prostitutes.
He was just targeting women whowere walking alone at night
time, but The police downplaythe seriousness of it by saying
that it was just prostitutes.
So women didn't think that theywere a target, so they still
felt safe.

Kristy Yee (07:56):
Holy shit.
That's so harmful in so manydifferent directions.

Angie Yu (07:59):
Yeah.
And those, because of that, thefirst case where innocent girl
who was 16 years old, was killedby the state.
You know, by this ripper, theywere all of a sudden like shit.
So like they could have done somuch more police work had they
not assumed that it was justprostitutes because they're
like, Oh, we're missinginformation and prostitutes.
Won't come to us to give usinformation.
And the head honchos that we'rea part of you know, running this

(08:21):
case and whatever was likeblaming things on the fact that
prostitutes don't go to thepolice for information and.
You know, it's just like the TedBundy tapes.
Docu-series as well, likebecause of the patriarchy and
because the women that weregetting killed were women,
things just took a reallyfucking long time.
They almost caught him manytimes, but they're like, Oh, you
know why he's a decent lookingguy.

(08:42):
He has a wife and he has a job.
Can't be him.

Kristy Yee (08:45):
Oh, wow.
So it's all about theseassumptions and these learned
biases.

Angie Yu (08:50):
That's right.
Again, because sex was so taboo,right?
They're like, Oh, if you're awoman who likes to have fun,
which is their way of sayingprostitutes, then you kind of
deserve to be killed was likethe, premise that the police
were kind of spinning.
So.
Great.
Watch made me very angry, butamazing documentary.
So back to the point, the reasonwhy I brought that up is because

(09:11):
men want control of women andhistorically female sexuality
has always been way more taboothan male

Kristy Yee (09:18):
sexuality.
Just give credit to that personthat we were reading off of.
Their name is RP Shep in thisthread and yeah, they said that
men want to control women andthey also noted that female.
Sexuality is way more taboo.
The male sexuality, because menare expected to have sex outside
of marriage, but women are not.

(09:39):
And, making sex a duty and amarital, right.
Is a way to control women.

Angie Yu (09:45):
He also says, I do take the issue with the always
has been part there's a lot ofevidence that sex wasn't very
taboo in pre agriculturalsocieties.
So that's what you're thinkingof.

Kristy Yee (09:56):
Right.

Angie Yu (09:57):
That's not even the stone age, it's just pre
agricultural revolution wheresocieties weren't so close
together and people weren'tfighting for resources from each
other.
And the only way to survive wasto be part of a tribe.
Right.
Because I was just going to saylike, there's a lot of evidence
from that time period wherehaving one single partner,
wasn't really a thing andliterally took a whole village.

(10:17):
And even now I'm thinking aboutit.
Like sex was very taboo inChina.
But nowadays you can buy playingcards, made with photos of
paintings from like, I don'tknow, like the Tang or some
dynasty, which is like the 16hundreds of different sex
positions.

Kristy Yee (10:34):
That sounds so dope.
I would love a copy.
We're going to get my hands onsome of these Tong, dynasty sex
position, playing cards.
Well, in China,

Angie Yu (10:44):
next time I go, I will

Kristy Yee (10:45):
get you some

Angie Yu (10:47):
I'll even get you a book or something like that,
because it's kind of crazybecause Like, of course, a lot
of that stuff was burned duringthe cultural revolution, but
there was actually one man who'slike a millionaire or
billionaire and his hobby wasbasically collecting these sex
relics and making a museum outof it.
And there's so much relics thatinvolves sex because it was part

(11:08):
of being human.

Kristy Yee (11:10):
Very normalized.
There's a lot of art related tosex A lot of sculptures books
written about sex Paintings onsex positions.
Yeah.
That sounds like it's it's just,you know, it's like a painting
of a bowl of fruit.
Cause that's just part of life.
Right.
Here's a Dick and here's anApple

Angie Yu (11:28):
and it wasn't just men and women either.
There were like, there werethree sums, there were women and
women, you know, because

Kristy Yee (11:34):
progressive,

Angie Yu (11:36):
I, you know, well, I don't think it's progressive.
I think it's because weregressed as a society when all
the capitalism, like, I don'tknow what it is, but I feel like
it's capitalism that did thatbecause I know that the first
country to criminalizehomosexuality was England.

Kristy Yee (11:53):
I don't know if it's capitalism, but more so just
patriarchy in general, likeneeding to insert some power and
dominance.

Angie Yu (12:01):
Capitalism is a byproduct of patriarchy.
I think my belief from all therandom things that I've consumed
over the years is thatindustrial revolution.
They just wanted to keep thingsgoing.
They want the population toincrease so that they can have
more workers and you can't havethe population increase if
people aren't having sex andhaving babies.

(12:22):
Like, I feel like.
That's a part of it.
I also watched another movie.
Oh my God.
I've been benching so muchNetflix.
The one about Alan Turing

Kristy Yee (12:28):
what's this movie or a documentary.

Angie Yu (12:30):
It's called the imitation game.
The reason why I wanted to watchit is cause its features
Benedict Cumberbatch.
So I had no idea what I waswatching.
I just clicked on it.
Cause it's But I didn't comefrom a pack.
Exactly.
And then when it was like, Oh,the Alan turret, I was like, Oh
shit.
There's movies about AlanTuring.
And I had no idea Ellen was gaybecause I think his sexuality is
so downplayed in media.
But he eventually died fromdepression because after he

(12:53):
fucking saved me the world hewas forced fed Estrogen pills.
He was forced that some sort ofpills, because they think that
it would refer to hishomosexuality, but it just made
him super depressed and that heeventually killed himself with a
poison Apple.
Because men not only want tocontrol women's sexuality.
They also want to control men,sexuality too.

Kristy Yee (13:11):
So going back to why sexist, Habu, the animalistic
natures, the patriarchy.

Angie Yu (13:17):
Yep.

Kristy Yee (13:18):
That's all we got.

Angie Yu (13:23):
it's a hard topic.
Now.
Why did you have to choose thistopic for our first episode?

Kristy Yee (13:28):
Because sex is sexy.
Because everybody wants to talkabout sex, but nobody wants to
start the conversation aboutsex.
We all want to learn more aboutsex and we want to be engaged
with sex, but because it'staboo, then we don't.
But yet at the same time, it'son media.
It's

Angie Yu (13:43):
I don't

Kristy Yee (13:43):
know.
On cosmopolitan magazines.
That's all

Angie Yu (13:47):
I keep associating

Kristy Yee (13:49):
sex with is Cosmo.
So okay.
In that Google search though.
So first one was Reddit and thenthe second one was actually a
psychology today.

Angie Yu (13:57):
Hmm.
I think that's the one I readbefore recording today.

Kristy Yee (13:59):
Ooh, you did research.

Angie Yu (14:01):
I did a little bit.

Kristy Yee (14:02):
Wow.

Angie Yu (14:03):
And that's the one I read where it says sex reminds
us of our animalistic

Kristy Yee (14:06):
nature.
Interesting.
Because actually the third onethat I pulled up, mentioned the
animalistic tendency.

Angie Yu (14:13):
Was the third link from

Kristy Yee (14:14):
it's from a website called the modern, but M a U D E
R N.
From what modern says, it saysin short, you know, Too long
didn't read.
I can't even think of theacronym for that.
In short it's because sexreminds us of our basic
animalistic natures.
And since we humans generallylike to think of ourselves as

(14:36):
evolved spiritual beings, bethat in a religious or universal
sense, the primal act ofprocreation tends to feel
somewhat.
I can't even read this word,Anna, Anna.
Anna Tete.

Angie Yu (14:51):
Oh

Kristy Yee (14:51):
boy,

Angie Yu (14:52):
And a Thema.
I don't know what

Kristy Yee (14:54):
that means.

Angie Yu (14:54):
And at FEMA and athema anathema.
We both pronounce it wrong itmeans something or someone that
one.
Great.
I love it.
I love it.
When I look up a definition andthere's another word that I have
to look up, how to pronounce

Kristy Yee (15:10):
God, this is how you end up being on the internet and
then

Angie Yu (15:13):
two hours later, and then F anathema, a formal curse
by a Pope or a council of thechurch.
Excommunicating a person ordenouncing a doctrine.
Huh?

Kristy Yee (15:23):
Anyways, the last sentence it says in many case,
We attach shame to such urgesoften because of what we are
taught as kids.
So as kids, we're like, it'sshameful to touch herself.
It's shameful to ask about yourvagina.
It's shameful to have desire.
And we have

Angie Yu (15:41):
so many different types of words to describe sex.
Right?
Like doing it The birds and thebees, you know, like there's so
many different terms to describesex that growing up, I never
felt comfortable saying the wordsex.

Kristy Yee (15:56):
How do you feel about the word?
Fuck,

Angie Yu (15:57):
I have no problem with saying the word fuck

Kristy Yee (15:59):
in the sexual lization of

Angie Yu (16:02):
it.
And the sexualization of likewant to fuck The sexualization
of it.
It's definitely something that Idon't say sexually in my day to
day of a knack.
Occular

Kristy Yee (16:11):
like, I used the word fuck as just part of my
regular vocabulary as a way toeither express my deep emotions.

Angie Yu (16:21):
I have a lot of emotions.
Yup.
Usually it's to express mydistaste for something.
But then when I'm having sex, Isay it to express my enjoyment.

Kristy Yee (16:32):
What I find interesting is that the word,
fuck it.
It means to have sex, but it's aswear word.
So we are literally taboo.
ING the word,

Angie Yu (16:42):
Yeah, I guess so.
Because export is already like,not a common word to use.
It's a word that my boyfriendgets mad at me for say in front
of children.
I'll be like, I'm going to hearit from someone.
Like if they say in one day andthey say the word fuck and their
parents, like where did you hearthat word from?
It's better than they say somerandom girl on the street.

(17:03):
Then like my friend, Johnny, andJohnny's gonna get in trouble,

Kristy Yee (17:07):
So I swear a lot in my day to day.
Now when it comes to otherpeople's kids, I wouldn't filter
myself just because kids arearound because it doesn't occur
to me to do that right then.
And I just go about and talklike per use until I was called
out a few times like, Oh, Ishouldn't be swearing in front
of other people's kids or, youknow, just kids in general.

(17:29):
And then I became more cognizantand more mindful.

Angie Yu (17:31):
Yeah, I always do it.
And then, oops.
And then my boyfriend will belike, there's a kid right there.
I don't like, it's

Kristy Yee (17:37):
fine.
And I used to just say the samething.
I would have the same argument.
I'm like, well, they're gonnalearn it anyways.
They're gonna know it anyways.
And the more we try to taboo aword, I don't think I said the
word taboo, but you know, we'regiving it power in a sense.
And the more that the kids willwant to use it, when really it's
just another word to expressanother thing.

(17:59):
So I use the word fuck in manydifferent contexts but mostly
because I want to express myemotions, whatever they are,
whether it's dissatisfaction orsatisfaction and same thing for
the words.
Shit and all of the above.
They're gonna learn it anywaysfrom somewhere.
So we might as well justnormalize the swear words.
And the argument back to me wasyes.

(18:21):
Sure.
But it's up to the parents todecide.
When that's appropriate forthem, for the kids.
And so I thought, okay, that'sfair.
I respect that.
And so that's when I retreatedfrom just swearing everywhere,
all over the place, because it'snot my decision.
To decide when the kid will beexposed to it.
That's true.
Even though we all know theywill be, but it's not up to me

(18:44):
to do that.

Angie Yu (18:45):
All right, fine.
You make a good point.
I'll stop swearing.
I guess we should protect kids'innocence, as much as possible.
if we're not the ones that aregoing to tell them that Santa is
not real, we shouldn't be theones.
To introduce the word.
Fuck.
We'll let their parents do it.

Kristy Yee (19:00):
But having said that though, I think once the
introduction has been made, itshould just be a normal thing.

Angie Yu (19:10):
And speaking of the meaning of words, what do you
think the definition of sex is?
Like what is sex?

Kristy Yee (19:18):
Two people touching each other or no, It doesn't
even have to be two people.
People or person experiencingpleasure through their genitals.

Angie Yu (19:26):
It doesn't have to be genitals

Kristy Yee (19:28):
though through their body,

Angie Yu (19:29):
Yeah.
See, that's the thing, right?
Like as a society, we don't evenhave a good definition of what
sex is I was always ignorantbecause I always was like, Oh
yeah, sex is like, you know,penis and vagina.
But then I was like, wait, butwhat about like, People who are
not straight, it's not penis andvagina for them so that they
have sex.
So then that's not the correctdefinition.

(19:51):
So what is the correctdefinition?
And I think as a society, andthis is what I read in the book
called ethical slut is that as asociety, we first need to
redefine sex.
Then we can really.
Tackle those other issues thatcome with sex.
And I think part of the whole,like being sex positive it's
women let's take charge of ourown sexuality.

(20:11):
I think that does a exercise inredefining

Kristy Yee (20:14):
sex.
I think the best way to redefinesex is not to have a universal
definition for sex.
Because I think sex isexperienced differently through
every individual.

Angie Yu (20:27):
Mm it's a spectrum,

Kristy Yee (20:32):
Like, I feel like if we try to put sex in a box, not
everyone's going to fit intothat box, so stop putting it in
a box to begin with.

Angie Yu (20:41):
Mm.
Okay.
So to redefine sex, we need tostop defining sex.

Kristy Yee (20:45):
Yeah.
It sex is whatever you say sex

Angie Yu (20:48):
is.
Oh yeah.
I like that.
Alexa, unless it's criminal.

Kristy Yee (20:54):
Oh yes.
Then

Angie Yu (20:55):
please don't do that.
Right.
So let me see if there's linessomewhere because we're a
society and we have to dosomething that society thinks is
acceptable, but then we alsohave to focus on what we want.
And that's difficult.

Kristy Yee (21:10):
Okay.
I'm going to go into some likereally weird really weird corner
of

Angie Yu (21:13):
it.
It's a weird though.
Are you defining it as weird?

Kristy Yee (21:17):
I'm defining it weird because it's making me
really uncomfortable to evenwant to go there.
So you mentioned unless it'scriminal, so like rape criminal
as in rape, as in like

Angie Yu (21:28):
pedophilia, which is same thing as rape.

Kristy Yee (21:31):
No, it's not.

Angie Yu (21:32):
Well, the other, person's not giving consent,

Kristy Yee (21:34):
but PD Ophelia is in that sex with like children.

Angie Yu (21:37):
Yeah.
I don't think the child isgiving consent to the second.

Kristy Yee (21:39):
I know.
I know, but you can also be, youcan also be raped as an adult.

Angie Yu (21:42):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I said PD field is a type ofrape.

Kristy Yee (21:45):
Oh, I see.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So yeah, like, rape, like pity,Ophelia,

Angie Yu (21:51):
Unconscious sex.
Those are all criminal.

Kristy Yee (21:53):
Before that were like sexist.
However, you want to define it.
Don't let society define it foryou.
But criminalization is adefinition of society.
Like society says criminal.

Angie Yu (22:04):
So then that's, that's, that's interesting,
right?
Because in some countries,homosexuality a

Kristy Yee (22:09):
crime.

Angie Yu (22:09):
Yeah, but we accept that because we think that it's,
it shouldn't be a crime.

Kristy Yee (22:13):
So what does that mean then?
So if we are saying sexist,however you define it, asterix,
unless it's criminal.
Well, then there's thisconfliction.

Angie Yu (22:26):
Yeah.
So everything that we defined ascriminal sex, like rape and
Ophelia and necrophilia not allparties are giving consent.
That's why they're criminal.
Okay.

Kristy Yee (22:35):
I accept that.

Angie Yu (22:36):
Yeah.
Whereas like homosexuality,which is criminalized in some
countries, Should it becriminalized just because two
men or two women want to havesex with each other.
If they're, if it's consensual,why should we criminalize it?
Right.
And that that's been theargument.

Kristy Yee (22:51):
Maybe the definition is not so much, so unless it's
criminalized, but unless there'sno consent given.

Angie Yu (22:58):
Yeah.
So all parties involved in thatsexual act, whether it's with
yourself, with multiple peopleor with one other person, All
parties has to give consent.

Kristy Yee (23:06):
Well, what if a child gives consent?
And then now I know the argumentis like, well, how old can they
make their own decisions?
Right?
Then that's the next question?
Well, Where do we draw the linein the sand for that?

Angie Yu (23:17):
Hmm.
That's a good question.
I don't know because I'm not asex criminal expert, but like
for example, I know people whohad sex with their boyfriends
when they were like 13, so a 13year old and a 13 year old
having sex is consensual.

Kristy Yee (23:32):
Yeah.
So then when it's like a 13 yearold and a 19 year old, then it's
considered PDL Fillic.
Is that

Angie Yu (23:39):
is it though?
I don't know.
I

Kristy Yee (23:40):
don't know.

Angie Yu (23:41):
Hold on.
I'm just gonna Google thedefinition of pedophilia.

Kristy Yee (23:44):
pedophilia

Angie Yu (23:44):
is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or
older.
Adolescents experience as aprimary or exclusive sexual
attraction to best in children.
So I guess a 13 year old and a19 year old, the 13 year old has
already gone through puberty,then it's not So I feel like 10
and 19, that does sound prettyCriminal and it's defined that

(24:06):
preview preview Pew best.
And why?
That's a very hard word to

Kristy Yee (24:10):
say before puberty,

Angie Yu (24:12):
before Poe ready.
So it says that a lot of lawswill extend the cutoff point to
age 13.
But a person must be at least 16years old, and at least five
years older than the prepubescent child for the
attraction to be diagnosed aspedophilia.
So it's actually part of the DSMfive.
Yeah.
Because a lot of times it'sabuse, right?

(24:33):
Because a child does notunderstand, they haven't even
gone through puberty.
They don't even know what thatwas sex is.
They don't even know what sexualattraction is.

Kristy Yee (24:39):
So then I guess the definition of like, when can a
person give consent, that wouldbe when they have gone through
puberty, then they are oldenough to start giving consent

Angie Yu (24:49):
or just old enough to even understand consent.

Kristy Yee (24:52):
And like understand sexuality.
Cause it's hard to understandsexuality when you haven't gone
through puberty.
Okay.
I accept that.
I don't know, man.

Angie Yu (25:01):
It's definitely overly really difficult topic to

Kristy Yee (25:04):
dark grimy.
Very, very gray area.
Yeah.
But it's uncomfortable and it'staboo.
I, it is.
And, and the, the thought cameto mind because you mentioned
unless it's criminal.
Well, we just said don't usesociety's definition, but use an
society's definition forcriminal, for consent.

Angie Yu (25:24):
For

Kristy Yee (25:24):
what?
So consent.
I agree with.
We mentioned the patriarchy is ahuge part of why.
Sex is taboo.
And I think because of that,women in most societies are not

(25:45):
allowed to quote unquote expresstheir female sexuality.
How does one embrace their ownsexuality and be comfortable
with it?
If we are taught to beuncomfortable with it, to taboo
it and to not do it until you'remarried and only do it with your
husband for the purpose ofmaking babies

Angie Yu (26:06):
education.

Kristy Yee (26:07):
I want to know about your sexual awakening.
Okay.
How did you come to like where?
Okay.
You know what, let me, let medial back.
Where are you in your owndefinitions?
Where are you in terms ofembracing your own sexuality?
I'm still very much at thelearning stage.
I have so many question marks.
I don't know if I know how tohave sex.

(26:28):
I'm 30.
And I'm still exploring a lot ofthings and trying to learn about
a lot of things, but I'm stillvery uncomfortable about a lot
of things about sex.
So that's where I'm at.
I'm not a hundred percentcomfortable with my own
sexuality yet.

Angie Yu (26:42):
Well, my first sexual experience was with my first
boyfriend.
And we had gotten to the pointwhere I trusted him immensely
and there was a lot of mutualtrust and, you know, one thing
led to another and I told him Iwas ready for it.
And he was very much like, areyou sure?
Are you absolutely sure.
And I'm like, yes, I'mabsolutely sure.
So I had a relatively good firstexperience for sex and that kind

(27:06):
of set me up for, you know,being more in charge of my own
sexuality, because I was neverpressured into sex with my.
Boyfriend in my teens.
And I know that's not the casefor everyone.
So I do recognize that I hadn't,you know, a relatively good
experience from what I learnedfrom TV, which is where, you
know, those high school dramashows where the boy like
pressures you kind of thing.

(27:27):
After my first boyfriend, I hada couple of.
Sexual encounters with peoplewho are not my boyfriend.
And those are not great.
If anything, they actuallyreally lowered my self

Kristy Yee (27:37):
esteem.
Like, are these like flings orone night stand?
Like, what is the context?
Like

Angie Yu (27:44):
they were like people I knew.
So they were friends, I guess itwas like friends with benefit
kind of situation.
And it definitely.
Were experiences that bothempowered me and also did an
empower

Kristy Yee (27:56):
me.
Okay.
You have to dive deeper intothat.
What was the empowerment like?
And what was the disempowermentlike?

Angie Yu (28:04):
Well, I think the empowerment was that it was very
much in my hands to decidewhether or not these things were
going to happen.
And I didn't feel any pressurecause when you're in a
relationship, well, I didn'treally feel pressure.
Let me rephrase that in my firstrelationship, I didn't feel
pressure for my first sexualencounter, but as the
relationship went on, I feltmore pressured to like, be that

(28:25):
sexual partner for the otherperson.
And that led to a lot ofproblems in our relationship.
Because I wasn't really takingcharge of my own sexuality.

Kristy Yee (28:33):
Okay.
We're going to come back tothat.
But with these friends ofbenefits, you were the one who
got to call the shots, like whenthis is going to happen, if it
was going to happen.
And so that in itself wasempowered.

Angie Yu (28:44):
I got to say no, when I wanted to say no and say yes,
when I wanted to say yes.
So that felt empowering, but italso didn't feel empowering
because it was part of the wholelike, exploring, right?
Like everything was consensual,so that's good.
But it was mostly like, am Idoing this for attention or am I
doing this because I want to dothis.
And that's the part where itdidn't feel empowering I

(29:05):
definitely want to do it becausehe was hot.

Kristy Yee (29:09):
The animalistic nature took over.
You're like, I want some ofthose genes.

Angie Yu (29:13):
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just wanted to enjoy life.
I was like 18, 19, 20, you know,like that kind of age.
And then I was in a long-termrelationship from the age of 22
to 28.
And that's a really fucking longtime.
That's a long time inpractically my entire twenties,
not my entire twenties, themajority of my twenties, the

(29:35):
good years of my twenties,

Kristy Yee (29:37):
the

Angie Yu (29:37):
prompt.
I don't want to say that.

Kristy Yee (29:40):
I know.
I know.
And you were struggling, so I'mlike, I'm just going to say it.
Those are your primary.

Angie Yu (29:46):
I wanted to tell myself not to think like that
right

Kristy Yee (29:49):
at the time.
I'm sure.
that's what it felt like.
Yeah.
I think now that we're 30, we'relike

Angie Yu (29:54):
we're in our fifties.
Yeah, that's right.
Exactly.
But at the time, like,especially when the breakup
happened, I'm like, well, theregoes my fucking prime years.
I am a washed up let me Googlehow to become a nun.
can I still masturbate if I'm anun, you know?
Can you, I don't know.
I don't remember what I think.
I don't remember what I searchedup.
I think it depends on what kindof nun you are.

Kristy Yee (30:16):
if anybody knows, let us

Angie Yu (30:17):
know.
Yeah.
Oh, how cool would it be?
If a nun came on our show totalk about sexuality,

Kristy Yee (30:22):
that would be super dope.
If

Angie Yu (30:23):
y'all know any nuns who

Kristy Yee (30:25):
would like to talk about their sexuality.

Angie Yu (30:27):
We all like to joke about how we're going to become
nuns but actually I think beinga nun is pretty goddamn dope.
It's such an unconventional wayto live life.
And if y'all know any nuns whowouldn't mind coming onto our
show to talk about what it'slike being, and then they would
get into the details.
Like, can you masturbate, let usknow?

Kristy Yee (31:15):
You mentioned, not feeling pressure, but feeling
like you needed to be thissexual person for your partner
at the time, what did that mean?

Angie Yu (31:24):
I felt controlled.
It's not like he ever saidanything.
And then I felt like this in allmy relationships.
It's not like they go, you needto be in my sex doll.
It's like the guy ever saysanything like that.
Right.
Because if they do like JTFO

Kristy Yee (31:37):
buh-bye,

Angie Yu (31:39):
but I feel this like unspoken expectation that the
duty of being.
A woman and the duty of being ina straight relationship with a
straight guy, why is it would bea heterosexual relationship I
always felt this expectationthat I had to be, I had to

(32:00):
fulfill their sexual desires.

Kristy Yee (32:02):
Oh boy, because I think so much of that comes from
learned experiences fromsociety.
It's the duty as a woman to dothat.
It's about this pressure thatyou put on yourself because of
what society expects from you.
So then you expect that fromyourself.

Angie Yu (32:17):
Yup.

Kristy Yee (32:17):
And How did that work out just the sex life part.
Mm.

Angie Yu (32:22):
I think I became less and less attracted to them
sexually.
Because I felt more and morelike a

Kristy Yee (32:28):
chore, like an obligation

Angie Yu (32:29):
obligation.

Kristy Yee (32:30):
Yeah.
Obligate obligate.
Oh my Oh, play good.
Terry sex is not great.

Angie Yu (32:40):
No, even though it's consensual because I'm saying
yes, but it doesn't.
Feel like, Oh yeah.
let me rip my clothes off kindof thing.
I feel like that's also becausesex in media has always been.
Portrayed as like, Hey, I'mgoing to rip your clothes off
and push you against the wall.
And then you feel like everytime you have to have sex, you

(33:01):
have to feel that kind of urge,but it doesn't have to be an
urge thing every time it canjust be like something that's
essential.
Maybe you're exploring somethingnew.
I don't know.

Kristy Yee (33:11):
Or I think it can be an urge, but it doesn't have to
be that kind of an urge.
Cause I think urges come in alldifferent forms and it's not
always the slimy against thewall, although that is nice.
I enjoy that.

Angie Yu (33:27):
to your boyfriend.
And I do think that a lot of itis me and my own head.
And I'm scared to bring it upwith my partner at the

Kristy Yee (33:34):
time.
What's in your own head,

Angie Yu (33:36):
like feeling like it's an obligation.
I'm sure.
If I said I don't feel likehaving sex, I'm sure they would
be like, okay, let's watchsomething on TV instead, but I'm
scared to say, what

Kristy Yee (33:46):
are you afraid of

Angie Yu (33:47):
that they're going to think I'm undesirable.
I think at the end of the day,everyone's scared of rejection,
right?
So the reason why we don't sayit, certain things, cause we're
afraid that if we say something,the other person doesn't want to
hear, it makes us undesirableunwanted.
We're gonna get eaten picked offby the saber tooth tiger.
I'm not going to be able to havea family and pass on my DNA.

(34:10):
Right.

Kristy Yee (34:11):
I think that all comes back to self-confidence
and self-esteem, and I thinkwhen it comes to sex it's I
don't know about you, but Idon't, I don't have that much.
Self-confidence and self-esteemaround sex.
in general, I feel.
Pretty comfortable in my ownskin.
And I'm comfortable voicing myopinions or, whatever, but with

(34:31):
sex, I'm not very confident.
And I think part of that isbecause there is a lot of
resources out there, but I'm notaccessing them.
And also because it's not in myface, You know what I mean?
Like, yeah.
so then I don't know enoughabout sex and then I don't know
enough about my own sexual andthis goes back to like me and

(34:51):
where I'm at in terms of, youknow, finding myself and my
sexual journey.

Angie Yu (34:55):
And where are you in finding yourself what are you
doing to.
Be more comfortable to try togrow in that area

Kristy Yee (35:02):
well right now, like today I am debating on
purchasing with that.
So, for folks who don't know, ON G yes, is, I don't even know
how to describe it, but It's aproduct.
You actually sent me the link tothis.
I did.
Oh, M

Angie Yu (35:21):
Oh, was it was it cause I saw it on Instagram and
then I sent it to you.
No, you

Kristy Yee (35:25):
sent it to me as a link on WhatsApp.
And then I said, Oh yes, Iremember reading about this
because Emma Watson endorsedthis, but I never really looked
into it.
So it's a collection of sexeducation materials on pleasure
for women.

Angie Yu (35:39):
What's the website.
Why can't I find the website?

Kristy Yee (35:41):
It's O M G yes.
Dot com.
Basically they did a, like ascientific study with a bunch of
women.
I'm not going to do this justicebecause I'm not explaining it
very well.
Let me go to the about page.

Angie Yu (35:54):
See what science says about women's pleasure is on
their front page.
Yeah,

Kristy Yee (35:59):
So they basically did a study for many decades
exploring women's sexuality andwhat women find pleasurable
because we don't talk about itbetween women.
So we don't know, we don't knowwhat it's like for other women.
We don't really know what it'slike for us.
So they basically compiled allof the answers from all these
women, and then they made itinto an educational product and

(36:22):
like, Hey, this is a positionthat most people say is good.
Give it a try.
You might not know that this isa thing for you rub yourself
this way, it's all thesedifferent things that you can
try to explore more of your own.
Sexual pleasure.
And what you find pleasurablefor yourself, because like you
mentioned, most of the time wejust learned about penis vagina,

(36:43):
And even penis and vagina thatin itself is there's a lot of
intricacies that go along withthat.
Different positions, differentways that you can P and V and
then for OMG, yes.
They're talking about all of thedifferent ways that you can do
this before in a women'sanatomy.
And this is not just for womento buy this it's for, people who
want to give pleasure to otherwomen.
As well, So that you can learnand try different things.

(37:04):
And it's not a subscriptionthing.
It's basically you pay aone-time fee and it's like, here
you go.
This is what the research says.
this is all the differentpositions and all of the
different ways that you can trydifferent things.
And so it's an opportunity tolearn more about your physical,
sexual desires and pleasurepoints,

Angie Yu (37:20):
Okay.
I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
And I love that you're going tosign up for this.
Let me know, keep me in thelumens.
Hey, how it is.
Like I, in my central journey,I've just been doing a lot of
random readings here and thereto understand things better.
But I do like this.
So under there about.
Us page for Omada.
Yes.
Dot com.
The Hollywood myth depictionsEmedia would have us believe

(37:43):
that after a bit of missionaryposition or sex up against the
wall, there's the wall again,shall have a mind blowing orgasm
every time in under a minute.
That's the script, even in teamromantic comedies, the great
Hollywood lover, telepathicallyalready knows the moves.
He doesn't ask for any feedbackand she doesn't offer any.

(38:03):
And that's just so fuckingbecause, and that's why sex gets
better sex.
In my experience, sex getsbetter in long-term
relationships because you keepcommunicating and then you learn
what each other likes anddislikes are sometimes slower
than others because you're shyand you don't want to
communicate for me personally, Ican never have an orgasm with a

(38:23):
new relationship, a newboyfriend until.
I've gotten to that point whereI trust them enough to actually
communicate what I need.
And I always have to explainmyself near the beginning, why I
cannot orgasm.
I'm always just like, you knowwhat, it's just because for me,
it's a very, very emotionaltrust thing.
And.
With non boyfriends, there'sonly been two guys I've been

(38:46):
with that has gotten me there.

Kristy Yee (38:48):
Have you ever been on a one night stand?

Angie Yu (38:50):
Yes, I've had one night stands.

Kristy Yee (38:53):
And were you able to orgasm?

Angie Yu (38:55):
No, absolutely not.

Kristy Yee (38:56):
Did they feel shit about that?

Angie Yu (38:58):
No.
Oh, some did.
Some was like, what can I do?
And I'm just like, don't worryabout it.
And then they feel kind of badabout after.
there have been some where theydon't even expect to return the
favor.

Kristy Yee (39:10):
That's so sad.

Angie Yu (39:11):
And those are the experiences that leave me
feeling kind of shitty aboutmyself.
like, I feel empowered becauseone I'm like, I'm going to
embrace my own sexuality.
I like the way this guy looks,I'm going to hook up with him
and then I feel great leading upto it.
But afterwards, I think becauseof all the expectations I have
in my head.
And I'm not saying that when Istand as a bad idea, absolutely

(39:31):
not saying that because thereare some women who enjoy it very
much and who can enjoythemselves very much.
But for myself personally, Icannot enjoy myself during a one
night stand.

Kristy Yee (39:41):
Because there's that lack of emotional intimacy and
because of the lack of emotionalintimacy, then you don't have
that trust to tell them this iswhat I want so that I can
orgasm.

Angie Yu (39:52):
So not even just to tell them when I want, I'm also
not relaxed enough to orgasm I'min my head.
I'm not relaxed enough.
I.
Just can't the only two timesthat happened was so this is
what happened.
So the first time was with afriend and we had spent like a
week together.
Cause I was showing him hangingout, showing him around the

(40:13):
city.
And because of that I felt likewe had gone on like five dates
already.
So I guess if that establishedsome sort of like trust and
emotional intimacy.
Oh

Kristy Yee (40:21):
yeah.
I'd feel some stuff there.

Angie Yu (40:30):
the second guy, it was I was not a wedding, so I think
I was already like emotionally,putty, you

Kristy Yee (40:36):
know?
Uh, Yes, because of all theromance in the

Angie Yu (40:39):
area, all the romance in the air.
And we got along really well.
I was also high and drunk, butit was actually after I sobered
up, I woke up in the middle ofthe night at 3:00 AM and I
couldn't fall back asleep and hewakes up to it.
And then we're just chatting andwe're both sober.

Kristy Yee (40:56):
Have you already had sex at this point?

Angie Yu (40:58):
Yes, we did.
But the drunk sex was not.
Like we just stopped and went tosleep cause it was drunk sex.
But then we sobered up and wewere just chatting and it was
nice.
And I was just talking, I wasbeing super philosphical.

Kristy Yee (41:11):
Cause this is what happens after a drunk sex night
session.

Angie Yu (41:15):
for me anyway I remember he was just.
Talking about like how he drinksa lot.
And I turned over to him and I'mlike, what are you drinking to
forget?
And the room was just silent andhe was like, I guess I'm trying
to forget the loss of my

Kristy Yee (41:29):
grandparents.
Jesus.

Angie Yu (41:31):
And I was like, okay.
Yeah, grief.
Right.
He's like, yeah.
And I'm like, yeah, I get it.

Kristy Yee (41:36):
And because of that, you're like, damn, I'm wet.
I'm ready.
Let's do this.
This is how I want it.

Angie Yu (41:42):
Well, it wasn't like straight after he told me his
grandparents died.
I was like, Ooh, it was like,the conversation continued a
bit.
And then we kissed.
And then, yeah.

Kristy Yee (41:53):
But he shared something really deep.

Angie Yu (41:55):
He was vulnerable.
Share something deep.
He was vulnerable.
And for me, sex is a veryvulnerable, like for me to
really enjoy and be sexual withsomeone, I feel like I'm
vulnerable.
And so, because he wasvulnerable, I felt like it was
okay for me to be vulnerable.

Kristy Yee (42:12):
You know, the first thing I think about is so
there's this hour glass Objectin Harry Potter.
Okay.

Angie Yu (42:20):
I kinda knew that you even bring something up Harry
Potter right in

Kristy Yee (42:24):
our glass anymore, but this object, which sand runs
through and the more.
Intense the conversation is themore meaningful the conversation
is the slower, the sand runs.

Angie Yu (42:37):
Ooh.
Is

Kristy Yee (42:38):
very cool.
And so when you just told methat moment that you had with
this guy in bed at 3:00 AMtalking about grief and all
that, I just thought of thatobject and how slow the sand is.
Tinkering.

Angie Yu (42:49):
Yeah.
And that's

Kristy Yee (42:49):
what you need to have an orgasm.

Angie Yu (42:53):
Yeah, for me, it's a emotional connection.
Vulnerability.
Okay.
So Christy.

Kristy Yee (42:58):
Okay.

Angie Yu (42:59):
I want to ask you so, for me, like having been single
for.
A while after my nearly six yearrelationship really helped me in
discovering my own sexuality.
it showed me what I don't like.
It Show me what I don't want.
It taught me how to have morerespect for my body.
It taught me that physicalintimacy does not equal

(43:20):
emotional intimacy.
You know, it was a journey.
There were some unpleasant partsinto it.
And I think that's the hardpart.
It was that there wereexperiences where I was like,
well, this sucked.
Why did I even do that?
But instead of putting myselfdown for it like there was a
couple of when I stands wherelike, it was just not good and I
could never want to see thatperson again, like that sucked.
And I beat myself up over it fora while and I was like, why did

(43:43):
I do that?
But in the end it taught methese things.
Right.
And I think like for myself, aslong as it's consensual, as long
as we're being safe, it'stotally okay to have these
experiences because you willlearn more about your own
sexuality that way.
And then when I got into a newrelationship, it made me more
comfortable and it made merealize that these are the
things that I need.
And also because my lastrelationship ended with

(44:06):
infidelity from the otherperson, because of that, I
started reading more about.
Sex.
Like what drives somebody into,seeking sex with other people
when you have agreed to be in atrusting, monogamous
relationship?
So I read more about sex and,through that, I also learned
more about sex too.
So it's all just like a journey,basically.
And I can't say that my journeyis now complete because it's

(44:28):
still something that I'mexploring and it's still
something that I'm trying to bemore comfortable with.

Kristy Yee (44:33):
And I also want to add that no matter where you are
in your own journey, no matterhow old you are, what you have
learned or discovering you don'thave to compare yourself with
another person and where they'reat in their journeys.
We often consciously or evensubconsciously compare ourselves
with our peers because we dothat with everything.
We did that in school with ourgrades.

(44:55):
We do that now at jobs withpromotions.
And we do that in ourrelationships and we do that.
With sexuality as well, but whogives a fuck?
If you're listening right nowand you're hearing Angie's and
you're like, Oh, that's so cool.
or, you know, I'm not there yet,or, Oh, I'm way past that point.
Like it honestly doesn't matterwhat matter is being okay with

(45:16):
yourself.
And so for me, I'm still veryconfused with my own sexuality
in terms of like what I evenwant, what I like what I.
Enjoy question Mark.
I am trying to understandphysical intimacy and emotional
intimacy.
Yeah.
that's it like, there's nolesson to this.
It's just, this is where I'm atand I'm okay with where I'm at

(45:38):
and I want to learn more andthat's why I'm looking at OMG.
Yes.
As one of the ways for me tolearn more for you, it could be
a reading for you.
It could be talking to otherpeople for you.
It could be listening topodcasts about sexuality.
It could be so many things.

Angie Yu (45:53):
It could be trying out different things with partners
and different partners.
And.
Figuring it out.
What you like when you don'tlike every time and don't beat
yourself up.
If you have a bad experience.
Like I had beat myself,

Kristy Yee (46:05):
I feel like a lot of times women will put themselves
down first.
They will blame themselves.
First before they think of anyother reasons, other external
reasons of why something didn'tgo as well as they had planned.
And then on top of that issometimes what we have planned
is just a product of whatsociety has told us or what

(46:26):
media has told us when inreality that doesn't actually
exist.
So now we're comparing ourselveswith something that's
unrealistic.
If it doesn't work out, then weend up blaming ourselves.

Angie Yu (46:34):
And it goes both ways.
Like the issues can happeneither way.
The key is communication.
I actually have a story for you.
Okay.
A sexual issue, story,

Kristy Yee (46:42):
sexual issue,

Angie Yu (46:43):
I guess, like not being on the same page.
Like when I started dating myboyfriend the first few times we
had sex, like went well, and asthe relationship kind of
progressed, I don't know whathappened, but we both became
more self-conscious during

Kristy Yee (46:57):
sex.
With your bodies or with yourperformance, or

Angie Yu (47:01):
Me, with my body and him with his performance.
Women.
I think one of the things thatwe struggle with a lot is our
body issues.
Right?
Like I'm thinking about whatdoes my tummy look like right
now, rather than actuallyenjoying it.
And he's thinking aboutperformance and it's a lot of
pressure on both ends.
And because of that, like, wewere both in our heads and for a
few times, it just like couldn'thappen.
And it was like a vicious cyclefor him.

(47:23):
He just thought.
He can't perform.
And I just thought it was me.
That's why he can't performbecause there's something wrong
with my body.
And then we decided to actuallyhave a conversation about it.
And I was like, I'm feelingself-conscious because I like
put on some weights and.
The lockdown.
when I'm having sex, I'm justthinking about my stomach rolls
and he's like, I don't careabout that.

(47:43):
I think you're sexy, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, I know, I know,but it's me.
Right?
Like I it's me, like, I thinkthat.
It's my problem.
He's really introverted, but I'mlike, what are you feeling?
And he's like, I guess,performance.
And I'm like, I figured becausethat's such a, taboo topic that
guys don't want to talk aboutit.
He's not going to go and talk tohis guy, friends about what he's
experiencing.
So he's literally in his ownhead trying to figure out what

(48:05):
the fuck is going on.
And then I told

Kristy Yee (48:08):
him,

Angie Yu (48:08):
I'm like, I'm not expecting you to be Doing that
for an hour.
there's this whole thing abouthow guys has to last for a whole
hour, because that's what porndoes.
I'm like, just so you know, Ifyou just keep going for an hour
like that's not pleasurable forthe girl either.
I don't know if I could be wetfor that long.
It's not pleasurable foranybody.
So basically he doesn't want toorgasm so quick.

(48:30):
So then he like holds himselfback and then it gets really
difficult to like continue, AndI'm like, don't hold back.
It'll get better.
So then I think after that, hefelt like he didn't have to
think about holding back thewhole time and now it's great.
I never thought that I couldhave this having such open
communication about sex with mypartner.
I wasn't like that with myprevious partners.

(48:51):
I was always too shy to talkabout it.

Kristy Yee (48:53):
Well, I would like to think that the next partner
will be better because of allthe lessons that you learned
from your previous partners.

Angie Yu (48:59):
That's right.
Because we take the lessons withus.
And that's the only thing youcan really take with you when
something bad happens.
So, you know, it's still ajourney for me.
There's still things I'm tryingto learn about myself.
myself.
I'm really excited about yourjourney.

Kristy Yee (49:11):
I will

Angie Yu (49:11):
let you know.
Also, tell me what the websiteis saying, so I don't have to
pay.

Kristy Yee (49:17):
I will, I will just like, I'll try this one.
well we made it to season two,so yay.
This season, lots of excitingthings happening.
Angie what's happening.
have a shit ton of guests comingup and we're really excited to

(49:39):
share some of the conversationsthat we've been having, we're
going to talk a lot aboutunconventional things this
season.
So tune in for that we're alsogoing to.
Have you listeners join us aswell, because we want you to be
part of this experience.
As part of season two, we'regoing to have different topics.
And we're going to ask you folksto ask us questions related to

(49:59):
that topic.
So if you guys aren't followingus yet on Instagram follow us at
shit.
We don't tell mom to join in onthe fun where you guys can ask
us questions specifically aroundanything to do that topic And
then we're just going to answerthem all.
And then the last thing is wealso wanted to highlight
comments from all of y'all'sbecause you guys leave us such
really awesome comments and itwarms our hearts and we read

(50:20):
every single one of them.
And we wanted to give you guys ashout out.
So we're going to start givingshout outs of comments on our
episodes.
So Dun dun da dun.
We have Jay Ray who left us acomment on Apple podcast
specifically on episode 15,quoting.
Once you fart, you can never bea part.

Angie Yu (50:40):
I'm pretty proud of that.

Kristy Yee (50:42):
I know.
Right?
It's really good.
Jay Ray says it was funnylistening to this talk.
I like how y'all opened up aboutturning 30.
Cause I'm about to in a month.
Ooh, congrats.
Happy birthday.
Everything resonated even abouthaving a difficult time saying I
love you too, mom.
Yeah.
That's a tough one.
Have you done it yet?
No.
Or even hugging mom.
I actually hugged my mum theother day.
It was really weird.

(51:02):
I allowed her to do it.
Sometimes she'll be like, Oh,I'm mama.
which means like hug, hug inCantonese.
And then she'll like open up herarms, you know?
And then like 99% of the timeI'll be like, no, and then I'll
walk away.
uh, but the other day I waslike, Hmm, And then I just,
stood there.
So me standing there is showinginvitation that I allow this to

(51:26):
happen.

Angie Yu (51:27):
Cringe, cringe.

Kristy Yee (51:29):
So Jay Ray finishes off saying, I appreciate y'all
vulnerability and lovedlistening.
Y'all a dope team.
Awesome.
And then also, also commented onepisode 12 saying, dang, I feel
what William is talking about.
I love that he is going in hisvulnereable self and being so
real.
Oh man.
That toxic vibe of my mom beingso mean towards certain things

(51:50):
in my life.
It makes it feel so unfair.

Angie Yu (51:52):
Hmm.

Kristy Yee (51:53):
So thank you so much, Jay Ray for leaving that
comment for us.
And if y'all want to have yourcomments read out please leave
us some.
what more can we say?
If you want to be showed it out,send us a DM on Instagram

Angie Yu (52:10):
Or leave a comment on one of our Instagram posts.

Kristy Yee (52:12):
or leave us a comment on Apple podcasts.
That would be super awesome.
Plus bonus is that.
Apple podcasts has algorithmsand for more people to be able
to find us leaving a comment,rating us, liking subscribing
all of that is actually reallyhelpful to have other people
find us more easily.
Ooh, we now have audio messageavailable.

(52:34):
Link is in the show notes whereyou can just click into the link
and you can record us a quickcomment or even questions or
whatever, because I don't knowabout you, but I don't type very
good.

Angie Yu (52:48):
And also you don't need very good.
That's true.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
But just know when you'rereading the comments, you are
struggling.
That's all right.
That came off.
Totally me.
But what I meant is this is myway of telling our audience to
please do an audio message,because I would personally like
to hear from you directly thenhere, Christie reading our

(53:09):
comments.

Kristy Yee (53:10):
Next time you're going to read the comment.
So.
Okay.

Angie Yu (53:12):
Yeah.
Dammit.

Kristy Yee (53:18):
we talked about why sex is a taboo how do we define
sex?
And the definition we came upwith is don't try to define sex
cause it's different foreverybody.
And as long as everybody comessense.

Angie Yu (53:29):
And then we talked about embracing our own
sexuality and being comfortablewith your own sexuality.
And Christie is on her journey.
She's trying to learn more aboutherself and her own sexuality.
I had some not so great times inmy journey with previous
partners, people I dated werenot dated and because of a.
Issue and my relationship this,so basically the issue was like,

(53:50):
we both could come, I'll justsay it straight out.
Like we both just could notfinish.
And it just made ourselves thinkthat it was our ourselves when
it was just both of us in ourown heads.
And ever since, we talked aboutit, everything's been fine.

Kristy Yee (54:02):
And so the final key takeaway is communication
because when is that?
Not one of our takeaways.
oh, Oh.
And next episode.
Ooh, we're doing something veryspecial.
Our next episode droppingJanuary 17th, we are doing a
collab with our very goodfriend, Karen from MX Asian
American podcast.
And we're going to do a specialtwo part series and we will

(54:26):
continue to talk more about sexand identity.
So stay tuned for that.
All right.
Have fun.
Exploring your own sexuality.
Everybody.
Thank you for listening.

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