31. Our Shit: Parenting Guilt and Living For Our Own Happiness

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Angie Yu (00:00):
The light behind you.
Your ceiling light looks like anipple.

Kristy Yee (00:04):
Oh, oh.
It is one of those boop Nepallights.

Angie Yu (00:34):
Welcome back to another episode of shit.
We don't tell mom, this is.

Kristy Yee (00:37):
This is Christie.

Angie Yu (00:39):
So today we are going to be talking about our new life
events.
If you are a follower onInstagram, you'll see that there
are two big changes in Christinaand I's life

Kristy Yee (00:52):
wait, hold up.
Welcome back to season three.

Angie Yu (00:55):
Oh yeah.
Welcome back to season three.
This episode will be released onOctober 3rd, which is,

Kristy Yee (01:02):
we need to say that.

Angie Yu (01:03):
Yeah.
But it's mean girls day.

Kristy Yee (01:05):
Oh, okay.
Go

Angie Yu (01:07):
girls day.
Like, you know?

Kristy Yee (01:08):
3rd.

Angie Yu (01:10):
Classic.
That's how, you know, if you'rea millennial is

Kristy Yee (01:14):
When you can recite the movie by going through your
brain files.
Although, if you watch it now,it feels mighty problematic in
many areas like friends.

Angie Yu (01:24):
I definitely remember watching certain episodes and
I'm like, Ooh, that would notfly.

Kristy Yee (01:30):
Okay.
So today's episode, it's anotherepisode of our shit, which means
we're going to update each otherand update you guys on what has
been going on with our lives andhow we are managing our mental
health.
So what's going on with you?

Angie Yu (01:49):
Well, I got a puppy.

Kristy Yee (01:51):
You became a.

Angie Yu (01:52):
I became a mom, I got a puppy a month and a half ago.
It was right at the beginning ofthe, one of the busiest time
during work as well.
So.
Yeah.
It's, it's been so much work.

Kristy Yee (02:06):
You don't sound very excited about it.

Angie Yu (02:09):
Okay.
I love her.
Uh, but I don't know if I likeher yet.
It's a lot of responsibilities.
It's the first time in my lifethat I'm responsible for another
living being, oh, we know I hada hamster.

Kristy Yee (02:22):
Okay, well, that counts, but that's how I'm
feeling now that I bought myselfa plant that's that's

Angie Yu (02:29):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, they say that, plantsare the new pets.
are the new babies and babiesare exotic animals because you
gotta be rich and a little bitof crazy to get one.

Kristy Yee (02:43):
yep.
I'm totally in with that.
I know my plant is not going tobe the same as having a puppy,
but I, I see what you mean bylike, I look at this organism
and I'm thinking, wow, it's lifedepends on me and I can kill it.
If I don't have my shittogether.

Angie Yu (03:04):
it holds you responsible.
Like I have to have my shittogether.
I have to have a routine.
Like you have to water yourplant every whatever day it is.
I totally get it.

Kristy Yee (03:15):
Okay, you unconditionally love her.
Like that came out veryconfident when you said that,
but then you're like, Hmm, butI'm not, I don't, I don't like
her yet.
And that reminds me of somethingthat you had once said about our
moms.
You said that our moms love usunconditionally.
Like it's no questions asked,but sometimes our moms might not

(03:38):
like.

Angie Yu (03:39):
exactly.
And my mom is really, reallyenjoying the struggles I'm going
through with my puppy, because Ican start seeing things from her
perspective.
And so she's like overjoyed and,and I remember her saying that
to me when I was a teenager too.
I would complain about her, forexample, her overbearing newness
or how she worries a lot.

(04:01):
And she'll be like, you knowwhat, one day when you're a mom,
you'll understand.
And she used to say that a lotand yeah, it's, it's not a baby.
So compared to a baby, obviouslya puppy is completely different.
although not that different, butI don't know if I can say that
because I don't have a baby.
So I definitely already amseeing a lot of things from her

(04:21):
perspective.

Kristy Yee (04:23):
sometimes I think.
A lot of moms will say thatlike, Ugh, you'll, you'll
understand one day when youbecome a mother yourself, you
know, I think they are.
I say they, and I know this is ablanket statement.
I think they are saying that lowkey because they cannot wait to

(04:44):
see us going through the samestruggle and then just lowing
about it.
Just like laughing out loud,rolling on the floor.
Like now you get a taste of whatI had struggled with.
Ha ha sucks for you.
I'm going to be the coolgrandma.
That's actually why our parentswant us to have kids so that we

(05:05):
can experience the same pain.

Angie Yu (05:06):
Yeah.
It's not that they wantgrandchildren bad badly because
they want to pass down familyname.
No, no, no.
It's because they want us tosuffer just like they did.

Kristy Yee (05:15):
Yep, exactly.

Angie Yu (05:16):
Yep.
And I think my mom is thrilled.
Like my mom loves my dog.
She will message me pretty muchevery day and ask me, how's Evie
doing?
How's he doing?
Is she doing okay?
She'll just ask for updates andit's, it's quite adorable.

Kristy Yee (05:32):
This is a glimpse of what it's going to be like when
you have a child, if you have achild

Angie Yu (05:37):
Yeah.
And that's the case for myself.
And that's also the case for myboyfriend.
And that's also the case for mymom as well.
Like starting to see, what thedynamic might look like.
Right.
And my best friend she, so Itold her, I was like, man,
having Evie is making me really,really questioned whether I want
to have a baby or not like, isreally, really making me

(06:00):
question that.
Cause obviously a baby is like,I don't know.
I don't want to

Kristy Yee (06:07):
times more responsibility and for the rest
of your life.

Angie Yu (06:11):
Exactly.
And like, you really don't wantto mess them up.
Right.
puppies.
There is obviously a lot ofresponsibilities for them, but
they reach a certain, theirbrains only developed to a
certain stage.
Right.
So I saying that to her andshe's like, I will say that out
of all the creatures I'vebabysat.

(06:33):
So she has a big family.
So she's babysat babies on herown toddlers kids, teenagers,
and puppies, her sister's newpuppy.
She says that out of all theabove the puppy was the hardest
to babysit because they bite andyou don't know what they want
and they don't have diapers.

(06:54):
So you're running aroundcleaning them their pee and
making sure that they don't poopin the house.
So it's like a little bit, it'sa little bit more difficult as
in like the cleanliness part ofit.
And also there's so much moremobile, so they can just.
Zoom away and you'll be like, ohmy God, I need to chase it.
You know, whereas baby, theydon't move

Kristy Yee (07:13):
only zoom so far.

Angie Yu (07:14):
And then they're going to fall down.
Cause they're so top heavy.
so it's a different kind ofdifficulty.

Kristy Yee (07:19):
How are you feeling now, now that you are, what is a
one and a half months in

Angie Yu (07:24):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (07:25):
of motherhood?
Has this, has this changed youas a person?

Angie Yu (07:30):
Yeah.
I think no, not changed me as aperson, but it has changed my
outlook on certain things.
I don't really know how to sayit.
I think like at the beginning Ikept questioning whether or not
I made the right decision.
There were sleepless nightswhere I'm like oh my God, why

(07:54):
did I do this to myself?
It's like, it comes from a verylike selfish perspective.
Like why did I do this tomyself?
I've lost, so much of my freetime.
I can't just do whatever I wantwhenever I want, I need to think
about this.
Like other thing in my life.
And I really made me questionlike, do I actually regret that
decision?

(08:15):
So I really, really questionedit for the first couple of
weeks.
Like, oh my God, maybe I shouldjust give her to my mom since my
mom loves her so much.
I said that a lot, like tomyself in my head.
and I didn't really communicatethat with my boyfriend because
it was my decision to get thepuppy.
So I didn't want to make it seemlike I made a mistake and it's

(08:39):
my own fault, et cetera, etcetera.
And I was getting impatient withher.
I remember like yelling, not ather, but just like yelling in
the general vicinity, beingfrustrated and just like, ah,
like wanting to pull my hair.
I think a lot of thatfrustration, I was like, oh, but
am I acting like this?

(09:00):
Because I'm frustrated or am Iacting like this?
Because the lack of sleep istriggering some of my bipolar
symptoms and I'm getting reallytemperamental and really
irritable because of that,because that's like the onset of
mania is where you're just likereally irritable and you just
like, cannot control yourtemper.

(09:22):
So I felt that, and I was like,man, what if like, even with a
puppy, I can't really get a holdat managing my symptoms of
bipolar.
How am I going to do that with ababy?
Especially since I'll have somuch hormones, they're going to
be all over the place.
Like what if like the baby makesme so frustrated that I just

(09:43):
become a horrible mother.
So there were all these thoughtsgoing through my head.
And I even remember, I likecried one day when I broke down,
my boyfriend went out on a very,like much deserved boys night
out I had a really good day withEvie, but then in the evening

(10:04):
she started getting like reallyrowdy and puppies are very much
like toddlers.
Like they get tired and they,they don't know that they're
tired.
So then they just run around.
They act out and I was gettingso frustrated because she would
just not calm down.
And I, and she would just talkeverything.
She was biting me.
And I just like broke down.
I was like sobbing so hard.

(10:25):
And I think a lot of it alsocame from a partial, like
abandonment.
Because he was out having fun.
Whereas I was at home dealingwith this little menace.
I felt abandoned as well.
So I had a mental breakdown.
Well, not a mental, yeah, alittle bit like emotional
breakdown definitely broke downand I was sobbing and I don't

(10:46):
remember sobbing that hard inawhile.
and I look over and she's justlike in the corner playing with
her toys and I'm like, oh mygosh, she doesn't even care that
I'm like, You know what I mean?
Because she doesn't have thattype of empathy.
Yeah.
Like dogs are known for theirempathy, but as a puppy they're
not really developed.
So I was just like, what am Idoing?

(11:06):
Like my life is ruined.
This sucks.
Like this really sucks.
And obviously the next day afterI've had a good night's sleep.
Well, good nights, same as alittle bit of an overstatement,
but after I've had some sleepand then in the morning I told
my boyfriend and I'm like, ah,sometimes I think I'm like a bad

(11:27):
dog mom, because I can't get herto calm down.
I can't get her to just like, dowhat we want her to do.
Like, am I not doing the righttraining?
Like, what am I doing wrongbasically?
And it made me feel like afailure.
And it made me question, well,if I can't even succeed in
raising a puppy, how the hell amI going to raise a person?

(11:50):
How am I going to not fuck up aperson?
and just like, how am I going tobe a good mom?
Do I even know how to be a goodmom?
So these are all the thoughtsthat were running through my
head.
during those couple of weeks,when I was, when things were
very.
Just my mind was all over theplace.

Kristy Yee (12:08):
First of all, all I, all I can think about is the
similarity, like the parallelsbetween how you're describing
Evie with what it would be liketo have a baby like this all
sounds like new parents, shit.
You know, I think every singleparent.
Has no fucking idea what they'redoing.
I mean, we have some level ofideas of what responsibility

(12:29):
means, because we reached thatlevel of adulthood.
We are like, I don't know, levelthree in adulthood, we got a
badge.
Right.

Angie Yu (12:37):
Yeah.
yeah Level three.
awkward laughter

Kristy Yee (12:41):
But we still don't.
We have no fucking idea.
Every single parent are going toquestion themselves if they are
being a good parent, because wewant to be good parents, whether
that's because weunconditionally love this
organism B maybe it's comingfrom a place where we didn't
have good parents growing up.
It could be coming from a wholeplethora of different things.

(13:01):
But the similarity is, we're allscared.
We're all scared.
We're going to fuck up and be afailure and not deserve to be
the role that you are.

Angie Yu (13:13):
Yeah.
And I think that is where mymind is that when I think about
the future, me having a child islike, I'm going to fuck them up
with a dog.
I think that's when thingsbecome very different because
like she doesn't need tointegrate into a society.
I think for her, it's more like,what if she's ill behaved for

(13:34):
the rest of her life?
That's like 10 to 15 years of mehaving to put up with this.
Like, what if I can't do.
And it's just me questioningmyself.
Like, am I stupid?
Like, why the fuck did I do thisto myself?
So it comes from like a muchmore selfish perspective with,
with dogs, I would say like, Ithink that's where differences
between a child and a dog reallydiverges.

Kristy Yee (13:55):
so like, it sounds like.
The fear of fucking up is thesame.
But with the dog, you're like,if it fucks up, I'm going to
have to deal with theconsequences.
Like how is it going to fuck meup in my life?
If my dog is fucked up.
Whereas if a child is fucked up,it's like, oh my gosh, I don't
want to fuck up their rest oftheir lives.

(14:16):
I don't want to make it hard forthem.
It comes from a place where youare like only thinking about the
child, whereas here you're like,how is this going to impact me?
And I think that's totally okay.
You know, we in society and inculture, we kind of shame when
we think about ourselves, weshame the idea of what even the

(14:39):
word selfish has a negativeconnotation around it.
And I think depending on thecontext, if you are, if you're,
you know, making decisions,that's going to hurt other
people for the benefit of justyou.
I think that's not a greatthing.
But I think if you're thinkingabout your own wellbeing without

(14:59):
hurting other people or otherthings, then I think that is,
this is more of a self carething, you know?
And I think it's a good thingthat you're thinking about how
is this, how is this going toimpact me?
Cause you're not just like, it'snot like you want to fuck up
your dog.
Okay.
You're not in a place of malice.

Angie Yu (15:21):
Well, sometimes I want to pick her up and throw her off
the balcony.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm joking.
I'm joking.
Of course.
I don't want to do that.
yeah,

Kristy Yee (15:31):
I might, I might think there was things.
that make me a bad person?
I don't know.
I don't know.

Angie Yu (15:37):
like I, I think about it, but I'm like, oh, that's
silly.
Right?
Well, I can joke about

Kristy Yee (15:42):
Like we wouldn't do it.

Angie Yu (15:44):
And I think that's that.
I think a lot of people thinkthat if they have bad thoughts
and they're a bad person, but Ithink the difference is whether
or not you carry out thoseactions.
yeah.
Yeah.
So one thing you pointed out islike, Children.
Like, what I had said was like,oh, I'm scared of like fucking
their life up, but then youmentioned it and I'm like, wait

(16:06):
a minute.
But if I fuck up my child, mylife is also still fucked up.
Cause then I had to deal withtheir shit for the rest of my
life.
Not just the rest of their life.
Like with the dog, you have todeal with it for the rest of
their life for a child.
Usually like knock on wood.
Like, you know, like the Chinesething while you don't want a

(16:26):
white hair to send black hairoff.
Yeah.
Like with a child, like if youfuck them up, then you have to
deal with it for the rest ofyour life.
so yeah, overall it's just, Iguess it's really not that big
of a deal in that I say it'slike, that's just life.
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (16:45):
Therapy session done.

Angie Yu (16:48):
And there's, and I remember there's the saying that
my mom told me a while ago.
It's like a Chinese thing whereit's.
Approximately translated tocause this is probably not the
best translation, but doing iton the spot.
It's like, if you spoil yourchildren, then you're going to
spend the rest of your life,raising their children.

(17:11):
If you raised your childrenproperly, then you can spend the
rest of your life, spoilingtheir children.

Kristy Yee (17:18):
I'm sorry, come again.

Angie Yu (17:20):
So, so let's say, yeah, let's say you're a mom and
you spoil your daughter, thenshe's going to be spoiled.
And when she has kids, you'regoing to have to raise them
because she's not going to doher.
She's going to be spoiled andshe's going to need a lot of
your help.
She's going to be really needy.
And she might not be, as youknow, like this is saying like,
so you're going to have to raiseher children.

(17:41):
So you're going to be spendingyour whole life.
Like, it's not going to be veryfun, but if you raise your
children right, then you canspoil their children.
As in you can be the coolgrandma who gets to play with
them and spoil them.

Kristy Yee (17:54):
I, I agree with that, but I also feel like that
statement puts a lot of fuckingpressure on new parents.

Angie Yu (18:03):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (18:04):
'cause now it's like, well, this is, I don't
want to say investment, but thisis going to impact how I'm going
to.
Live my life with mygrandchildren.
You know, it's like, there's somuch at stake is what I'm
saying.

Angie Yu (18:22):
yeah,

Kristy Yee (18:22):
And that's a lot of fucking pressure, man.
I'm going to, I'm going toagain, bring back the whole
children and dog and an allergyand parallelism.
You mentioned, it was reallywell behaved when there's other
people around, when she's insocial situations, et cetera.

(18:47):
And then only misbehave whenshe's around mom,

Angie Yu (18:50):
Yes.

Kristy Yee (18:51):
just kinda leave that hanging there.

Angie Yu (18:53):
Y

Kristy Yee (18:54):
What do, I mean,

Angie Yu (18:56):
you mean, that's how all of us are?

Kristy Yee (19:06):
what do you make of that?

Angie Yu (19:08):
Well, I just, the way it is, and I'm like, okay, so
like now I'm focusing more onlike, okay, I'm gonna separate
the out the good and the bad.
And in those moments where she'sdoing something that I like, and
it's good, I'm just going to domore of that.
Then, then that way, the amountof joy to sorrow

Kristy Yee (19:28):
Oh, my.

Angie Yu (19:29):
will start to skew towards joy.
You know what I mean?
Like that's all I can do withher is to do more things with
her.
Make the life, her more and thatI enjoy as well.
And that way all the other shitwill be worth it.
And I think this is like thefirst time where I'm starting to
see that the good is starting tooutweigh the bad.

Kristy Yee (19:52):
this is also where I'm going to like stop the
parallelism between a baby and adog.
Because I think like with thedog, you can do these things and
be like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,I'm only going to do the things
that, you know, make me likeyou, you know, whereas whereas
our baby, you're gonna want tomake sure that your child also
wants to do those things withyou as well, and not try to make

(20:16):
their life about the moms joy.

Angie Yu (20:19):
Yeah.
And that's why I said like thisis going to come off really
selfish.
And that's really funny becauseI remember, when this was
actually not that long ago,probably earlier this year.
I think I said something to mymom that was very like, made her
unhappy, but it was very true.
And I can't remember whathappened, but then my mom went

(20:41):
home and told my dad about it.
And my dad was like, if that'sthe case, then you should get a
pet.
You didn't give birth to a baby,to you to have like, to use them
as a pet.
Basically.

Kristy Yee (20:55):
Yeah.
I think you, you mentioned this,in the last episode as well,
like what your dad had saidabout,

Angie Yu (21:00):
Yeah.
And now it's like really true,like very applicable.

Kristy Yee (21:05):
Because now you have a pet.

Angie Yu (21:07):
Yeah.
So it's completely different.
Like I, then I think that'swhere a lot of.
bad parenting come form comesfrom is when the parents start
treating their babies like apet.

Kristy Yee (21:15):
and also when the parents feel like, and this
could be subconscious as well,that their child's decisions,
their child's life decisionsshould be based on the parents'
happiness.

Angie Yu (21:30):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (21:31):
And that makes it really difficult because we
internalize that as well askids, right.
Because we want to make ourparents happy.
We choose to do ABC.
We choose to, I don't know, goto school, get good grades,
whatever.
Right?
Like we, we do a lot of thingsbecause it's what we were taught
to do, but it's also what makesour parents happy without really

(21:54):
thinking about what actually.
Us happy.
And the other day I was justhaving conversation with my mom
and I don't even remember whatthe actual context was, but what
stuck with me was she was sayinghow she's so happy that I am now
going into grad school.

(22:15):
And she's proud that I have, youknow, become this independent
adult and that she doesn't haveto worry about me and
blah-blah-blah.
And so she's saying all thesegreat things, right.
But then she said something thatalluded to how I'm doing all
these things for her happy.

(22:37):
And I'm like, I'm like, hold up

Angie Yu (22:40):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (22:43):
and on the spot.
I was like, no, no, no, no, no.
I do these things.
Not for you.
I didn't go to grad school sothat you can feel good about
yourself.
As a mother, I'm going to gradschool for me.
I moved to Toronto, not to showyou that I'm a capable adult,
that you have raised a capableadult.
I did it because I want to moveto a different city and I want

(23:06):
to live this new life.
It's not about my decisions arenot to make you happy and not to
validate you as a mother.
If you feel happy for me.
And if you are proud, that'sgreat.
We can, we can all, like I wasgoing to say hug, but then I
reframe, but we can allcelebrate that together.

(23:28):
And that's great.
But my life is not about makingyou feel good about yourself.

Angie Yu (23:36):
That's right.
That's absolutely true.

Kristy Yee (23:48):
It is time for feel good feedback.
Okay.
It is time and it's time forfeel good for you.

Angie Yu (23:55):
So today's comment.
I'm going to be reading a DMfrom Natalie and Natalie
actually went to high schoolwith Christie and I, so none of
these.
Big heart.
I've been telling everyone tolisten.
Ha I'm so sorry about all theshit I and other people put you
through in high school.
Fuck.
I honestly just wished I was abetter person.
I was definitely fighting my ownbattles and fail to see other

(24:17):
people fighting theirs too.
I'm sorry, man.
Can't wait to hear more of whatyou guys had to say.
Smiley face.
Definitely hitting topics.
I can relate to thought I wasthe only one going through it
all, but surprise.
Nope.
Just not one talks about justnot one talks about it, but now
you are.
Oh, just no one talks about it,but now you are.
Thank you her heart.

(24:38):
Thank you, Natalie.
And no, no need to apologize.
Like, yeah, like you said,everyone was fighting their own
battles in high school and it'snot something you were doing on
purpose.
So we appreciate theacknowledgement, but yeah, don't
feel bad.

Kristy Yee (24:52):
I don't even remember what Nat you're talking
about, about what should happenin

Angie Yu (24:58):
Yeah, me neither.
And I don't.

Kristy Yee (25:00):
it's, it's whatevs, but I do appreciate that you had
reached out and gave the apologyanyways, and we're like, we
don't know what you're talkingabout,

Angie Yu (25:09):
don't know what you're talking about either.

Kristy Yee (25:11):
but we really appreciate that you have been
such a great supporter of theshow and spreading our love
around that sounded so weirdthat you have been a great
supporter of the show.
And I know you've been listeningto a lot of our episodes and you
are also an advocator for mentalhealth as well.

(25:34):
know, a lot of things comingfrom your Instagram.
So thank you for being a fellowadvocate and thank you again for
listening.
Oh.
Also not makes these scrunchies,which is super dope.
We should link that.

Angie Yu (25:46):
Yeah, we should.
And she makes masks as well.
And if you want to send us afeel good feedback, please do

Kristy Yee (26:03):
because we like it.
It makes us feel good.

Angie Yu (26:05):
Yeah.
It brings us joy and send us aDM, send us a email if you want
to.
I shit, we don't tellmom@gmail.com or send us an
audio message because then thatway, instead of us reading it,
we can just play your message,

Kristy Yee (26:20):
look forward to hearing some more feel good
feedbacks from y'all's

Angie Yu (26:28):
Back to earlier, back to that common, how like plants
or the new pets and pets are thenew babies.
They're not the new babies.
So I want to go back and justretract that statement.
The statement's hilarious,obviously, like for it obviously
oversimplifies things and it'svery reductionist, but like, you

(26:49):
know, babies are not pets andpets are not babies and you have
to be able to make thatdistinction.
Same thing with like pets, likeyeah, she's here mostly for
companionship and just, youknow, adding a general joy to
the, to the family dynamics, butshe's also still a dog and I

(27:12):
need to discipline.
And she needs to be happy too.
Like I'm not just gonna dowhatever I want to make sure
she's making me happy.
Like, oh yeah.
Like I kind of want to put herin like booties, like little
short, like little shoes on herfeet so that she doesn't get my
apartment dirty, but that's notsomething that she might like,
like she might not like that.
So I'm not going to force thaton her.

(27:34):
You know what I mean?
Cause she's still like a livingbeing and not doll, but yeah.
So that's pretty much where theanalogies and because yeah, you
shouldn't treat your baby like apet and your pet isn't really
like a baby.
Also the whole joy thing, itjust reminded me of something.
One of my therapy sessions, itwas one of the very good ones,

(27:59):
you know, sometimes you justhave a really good session.
I was telling my therapist abouthow, when I was like three and a
half years old, my older cousinwho was seven, was hit by a car
and passed away.
And immediately my grandma wentinto the city and picked me up
from daycare without asking mymom and took me back to the

(28:23):
countryside and her explanationto my mom.
And my dad was that everyone inthis house now is really
depressed from losing theirlittle girl, my cousin, that
they need someone around toprovide some joy, which was me.

(28:43):
And I was telling part of thestory, like I was telling her
about how, like, I don'tremember that much from my
childhood was some of the keymemories I have are all were all
very traumatic.
And one of them being this,because I remember the next day
I was walking down the stairsand my aunt was holding my hand
because she was so sad that Iwas there to provide some sort

(29:04):
of sor some sort of relief forher sorrow.
So she was holding my hand.
We were walking down the stairsinto like the living room area.
And in the living room was mycousin's corpse.
'cause that's like how Chinesefunerals in the countries that
were done, like everyone saysgoodbye to her.
And then they carry her likecoffin around the village and

(29:29):
it's whole thing.
And then it carry her to herburial site or the crematorium
or whatever.
So, yeah.
So one of my only memories of mycousin is her corpse on this
like platform, table kind ofthing in like a box, because she
was going to get cremated.
So it wasn't in a coffin.

(29:49):
It wasn't like a cardboard.
But that's one of my firstmemories and that's very
traumatic.
And I was telling my therapistabout that and she's like, well,
how does it make you feel thatyou were quote unquote, like
brought back to the countrysideaway from your mom to, to like,

(30:09):
how did that make you feel?
And I was like, well, it's kindof weird to just take me, like,
like, why would you just like,take me away from my mom?
Like, you don't know my mom,like, why are you making
decisions for my mom and for mekind of thing.
And she's like, yeah, it must'vebeen really hard to be
responsible for all these otherpeople's happiness.

(30:33):
And I was like,

Kristy Yee (30:34):
Hm.

Angie Yu (30:35):
yes, that's exactly what it is.
And that's so, so common inChinese culture that I never
even questioned it.
I just thought it was reallyweird.
Like, I didn't want to be there,but I was there anyway, but
yeah, like.
Being forced into that role oftrying to make everyone happy at

(30:56):
such a young age.
Like, Hey, that's your response.
That's why you're here.
It's not because we want to livewith you.
And we love you.
You're here because we want youto make us happy.
Like how fucked up is that?

Kristy Yee (31:07):
That's like treating you like a pet it's it's, it's
not allowing you to feel anyother emotions.
It's not allowing you to displayor exude any other form of
feeling or emotions besides joy,because that's who you are.
That's your role.
This is your title.
This is what you're here for.

(31:27):
You're here to bring joy to therest of the family and you're
not allowed to feel anything.

Angie Yu (31:32):
Yeah.
And I think that really shapedwho I was as like a kid growing
up because I never, never evendare to talk about any negative,
emotional quote, unquotenegative emotions.
I was always like, happy golucky even.
Wasn't really feeling that way.
Like, you know, the always likesuppressing those, any sort of

(31:53):
emotion, that's not happiness orjoy because at a young age I was
given this role andresponsibility of being that.

Kristy Yee (32:02):
And that's how you learn that this is what I am
valued for so that if, if you doGod forbid show any other signs
of emotions or feeling sad orbeing down or feeling angry that
your value no longer exists.

Angie Yu (32:22):
that's right.
And that's why I've never talkedto my parents ever about
anything that's bothering me.
I always just give them goodnews.

Kristy Yee (32:31):
And think about how many other people out there, how
many of our proof troops havegone through a similar
childhood, not the same thing aslike, you know, a family member
died and like you got broughtinto the village, but you being,
you only being allowed todisplay happy emotions or feel
good emotions or positiveemotions.

(32:53):
It's like, it's like, you'rethis ball of positive vibes that
is being passed around andyou're not allowed to be
anything else.
And if you are, then you'relike, oh my gosh, then I will be
unloved.
I'm going to be unwanted.
I am not a value anymore.
How many people carry that withthem?
And then, and then bring thatwith them all the way to where

(33:14):
wherever you are right now,wherever you're listening from
poop

Angie Yu (33:18):
Or bring them with, with them to the next
generation, because they expectthe same amount of their
children.
And then it's just the cycle.
Right.
And that's why people say breakthe cycle, break the cycle.

Kristy Yee (33:28):
Barf and that's why it's so important for us to
actually talk about thesethings.
Right.
And, and be okay with havingother sorts of feelings, any
emotions as well, because youare still a valuable person.
You are still loved, even ifyou're not being feeling joyful

(33:48):
all the time or being a joyfulperson all

Angie Yu (33:51):
Yeah.
And just being able to standyour ground to be your own
advocate, even if it's againstyour parents.
Like when Christie clarifiedwith her mom, like, hold up,
hold up, wait a minute.
You are wrong.
This is like, you are comingfrom a completely perspective.

Kristy Yee (34:16):
Yeah.
I was like, I'm happy.
That you're happy, but thatisn't, that is not why I make
any of my decisions.
It's not big.
It's not based on your happinessand it shouldn't be based on
your happiness.

Angie Yu (34:29):
exactly.

Kristy Yee (34:30):
And that goes for anybody else, listening as well.
You know, like whateverdecisions that you make should
not be based on other people'shappiness, because then you're
living your life for anotherperson or peoples, what is the
plural people?

Angie Yu (34:45):
For the other people.

Kristy Yee (34:46):
Yeah.
For other people.
And, and that's going to cause alot of disconnect between
yourself, because then you'renot living the genuine life that
you want.
You're just living lives thatother people want for you

Angie Yu (34:59):
Yeah.
And, and when you fail at doingthat, you fail at being that
perfect daughter, perfect son,or whatever it is that other
people have placed on you, allof a sudden you feel like you
have no value.
And then all of a sudden, maybeyou feel like your life is
worthless and then maybe youfeel like, well, what's the
point and that's how things canspiral.

(35:21):
And that's how I spiraled.
And that's when I realized like,fuck this shit.
I need to live my best life.
Snap, snap, snap.
So anyway, my original point waskudos to Christy for standing
her ground advocating forherself and just telling us
straight to her mom.

Kristy Yee (35:43):
Thank you.
Thank you.

(36:46):
Speaking of which, so like Angieand I have been recording.
Basically not to not together.
for majority of our episodes, Iwould say because we started
this podcast in 2020 when thepandemic was like raging and
it's still raging.

Angie Yu (37:05):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (37:06):
So we actually fun fact poop trips.
We don't always record in thesame room together.
We actually often recordseparately in our own places,
but now I am recording in adifferent city.

Angie Yu (37:23):
Yeah.
And it's weird because itdoesn't feel like Christie is a
completely different city.
On the other side of thecontinent.

Kristy Yee (37:32):
Well, I mean, it was not that far away,

Angie Yu (37:35):
It's a seven hour flight.
It's

Kristy Yee (37:37):
five hour, five hour.

Angie Yu (37:38):
flight.
It's a five-hour flights prettyfar away.

Kristy Yee (37:43):
I know it doesn't feel obvious for you.
And because you're just lookingat me through a screen, like as
per year,

Angie Yu (37:51):
And also I'm in the same environment, but for you,
you're in a completely differentenvironment.
Like you're yeah.
Your entire life is currentlydifferent.

Kristy Yee (38:00):
I know I quite love it.

Angie Yu (38:02):
Yeah.
That's I am so happy for you.
Like when you first told me thatyou were moving, like you got in
and you're going to move, I waslike, just so happy for you
because it's just like, it'soverdue.
Like you really need that.
Freedom away

Kristy Yee (38:20):
needed to do TFO man.

Angie Yu (38:24):
And that's when I started learning independence as
well.
Like it was when I left for ayear, when I left home for a
year and went to a very far awayplace, that physical boundary
that you can establish with youroverbearing mother is like the
ferry important first step tolike establishing boundaries

(38:45):
period.

Kristy Yee (38:45):
Hmm.
So I have a few things to sayabout that.
I'll get, I'll get to that.
I'll get to the mom boundarybarrier thing, but I want to, I
want to talk about how I'mfeeling.

Angie Yu (38:57):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (38:58):
have a lot of feelings and

Angie Yu (39:01):
And you know what, they're all valid.

Kristy Yee (39:03):
thank you.
Thank you for validating.
So a few.
Okay.
So I moved here during the endof summer, and then I actually
went back to Vancouver for.
Okay.
So I moved here end of summer.
And I was here, here in Torontofor about 10 days.

(39:23):
And then I went back toVancouver for another 10 days.
So it really didn't feel that.
And then now, and then after the10 days, I came back to Toronto.
Now that means I spent like 10days in Toronto was, and 10 day
in Vancouver, you would havethink that it's just 10 days
it's whatevs, right?
Like it doesn't make that muchof a difference when I flew and

(39:45):
I landed in the Vancouverairport, I always get the same
feeling, no matter where I justcame from this like sense of
home, you know, the sense ofcomfort flying across all the
buildings that I can recognizeand smelling our Vancouver air.
It feels very comforting.
Like I am home and I still gotthat.

(40:06):
However, it, this time it wasdifferent because every single
time that I would.
Back to Vancouver.
I would have all of my stuffwith me this time.
I had just one backpack of likenothingness

Angie Yu (40:28):
Yeah, it was just

Kristy Yee (40:29):
this time, this time I left my electric toothbrush at
where my quota I'm going to doair quotes home is, and I
brought the spare toothbrush togo to Vancouver.
Okay.
But it's a different feelingbecause I now have two homes.

Angie Yu (40:49):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (40:49):
I spent the first 10 days in Toronto setting up my
place.
Like I didn't go exploring, Ididn't really see people.
People probably didn't even knowthat I arrived in Toronto
because I was just gettinglinens and like getting coat
hangers and setting up thekitchen and buying pantry
staples and blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
And by the time I finished allof that, I have established a

(41:11):
whole.
Like I bought these things forme.
I got a plant for God's sakes.

Angie Yu (41:17):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (41:21):
I have a living being that I am responsible for
in this place called home.
So I basically made a nest formyself.
And then coming, going back toVancouver it's yes.
I still get that feeling of I'mhome, but it's different.
I now have two homes and I feellike I'm allowed to do that.
I'm allowed to love two placesat the same time and love them

(41:44):
for different reasons and lovethem in different ways.
And one does not one does notoverride the other, you know,
like my Toronto home is notbetter than my Vancouver home.
The city of Vancouver is notbetter than Toronto.
Like I love them both butdifferently.
And I am allowed to have both.

(42:05):
And it's a, it's a brand newfeeling that I've never had
before.

Angie Yu (42:10):
Yeah.
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (42:11):
And I don't know how else to explain it.

Angie Yu (42:13):
Just to clarify for those poop troops who live in
the U S like, it's very commonhere in Canada to commute to
your university slash college,because a lot of them are in the
big cities.
And if you live in the big city,then you wouldn't just, you
would just live at home and savemoney.
So for a lot of us going awayaway from home sometimes is

(42:37):
doesn't coincide with going tocollege.
So for Christie, this is herfirst time, really getting away
from home home, and she's 30,

Kristy Yee (42:47):
And,

Angie Yu (42:50):
and there's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah.
There's nothing wrong with that.

Kristy Yee (42:52):
And the thing is like, when I, when I went into
my house, like my Vancouverhouse, this is what's hilarious.
I go to the bathroom, right.
So I live with my mom.
Mom has her own bathroom.
I have my own bathroom.
I have the bigger bathroom.
Okay.
So I go, when I go into myVancouver home, I go into the
bathroom because as one does youneed to pee after a five-hour

(43:15):
flight?
My stuff isn't there anymore.
Which makes sense, because mostof it is in Toronto, but my
mom's stuff is there.

Angie Yu (43:24):
Cue gasp.

Kristy Yee (43:28):
I found it hilarious that she just infiltrated the
bathroom and she's like, she isgone.
My daughter's gone.
I get the big bathroom now.
And then I go into like herbathroom.
Right.
And it's just empty.
It's like, it's a guestbathroom.
Like her bathroom is the guestbathroom.

(43:49):
My bathroom is her bathroom.

Angie Yu (43:51):
That's so funny.
There was no like, Hey, I'mgoing to move my stuff to your
bathroom.
It's just like surprise.

Kristy Yee (43:59):
It's just like, yo, this is mine.
It ain't yours.
No more.
And the other thing that wassurprising, and this happened
while I was in Toronto, like thefirst 10 days I expected that my
mum was going to be veryoverbearing, like messaged me
every single, not every singleday.
That's just like a given, butevery single hour asking if I

(44:22):
ate, how was the weather?
Like all this mom shit.
Like, am I wearing enoughclothes and making sure I don't
wear too much.
Cause then I'll get a fever.

Angie Yu (44:33):
'cause.
That's how it works.

Kristy Yee (44:38):
for the first like 48 hours, that's exactly what
happened.
And then it tapered off

Angie Yu (44:46):
Excellent.

Kristy Yee (44:48):
like there was.
Just a brief second where I'mlike, my mom hasn't messaged me
in a few days.
I'm like, what is going on?
And when she does message me,yeah.
She'll still ask like, oh, didyou eat dinner and blah, blah,
blah.
But majority of her messages,like I would say 80% of her

(45:09):
messages is her sending mepictures of all the fun that
she's having back at home withher friends and all the food
that she's making at home.

Angie Yu (45:20):
That's awesome.

Kristy Yee (45:22):
And I'm like, what have I been the one who's
holding my mom back this wholetime?
And I'm like, oh my gosh, Ithought I'm the one who's being
set free, which I do feel like Iam spreading my wings and flying
and all shit, but I did notexpect that she was going to

(45:43):
spread her wings and fly aswell.
She's sending me pictures of hergoing to driving ranges.
Just never been to a fuckingdriving range before.
I'm like, who are all thesepeople that know how to play
golf that you're hanging outwith?

Angie Yu (45:56):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (45:57):
And like having dim sum with her friends and, and,
and literally like two weeksbefore I left was the first time
she went to a restaurant sinceCOVID happened.
And she went to a restaurantbecause my entire family got
together and had like a, like afarewell dinner for me.
And that was the only reason shewent out to a restaurant and

(46:19):
like two weeks later, she's justnow out all the time having
Dimson with her friends.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Who are you?
Who are you.
You know, we talk a lot aboutcommunication, having, having
boundaries and the benefits ofhaving physical barriers and how
that's great for, you know, ourrelationship with our parents.

(46:41):
Most of the time when we weretalking about that, we're
thinking about that asfirst-person like, I'm thinking
about the benefits for me whenI'm having this physical barrier
between me and my mom.
I'm thinking about me, thebenefits for me when I set up
boundaries with my mom.
But I did not think about allthe benefits that the hub, that

(47:03):
all the benefits that.
Could also experience when thereare boundaries and when there is
a physical barrier and how much,not only our relationship has
improved, but her relationshipswith other people, because now
she has the time and space andemotional capacity to think
about herself and foster her ownfriendships and expand her own

(47:25):
social circles and how that hasbeen beneficial for her.

Angie Yu (47:28):
Yeah, actually.
Yeah, like, totally.
and if, I think if, if more ofus thought about it from that
perspective, like same thing.
When I started creatingboundaries with my mom, Really
think about it from herperspective.
I do think that it would behealthier for her.
Like, yeah.
Like it would be healthy for youthen you don't have to be so
anxious about me all the time.

(47:49):
You don't

Kristy Yee (47:49):
Yeah.
Like, let go, you

Angie Yu (47:50):
Yeah.
Like, let go for your ownemotional sake.
But I, same thing, I didn'tthink that she would, my mom
will start getting into like allof this same thing.
Like my mom also went to thedriving age range for the first
time in her life.
She tried tennis.
She's been hiking.
Like every weekend she went on afishing boat, she went fishing
like it's great.

(48:11):
And it's same thing.
Like it was something that Inever expected.
And I think for some of us outthere who are still very what's
that word?
Filial piety oriented, like,Hey, yes, I get that.
I need to draw boundaries withmy parents, but I also want to
be a good daughter, a good son,like.

(48:31):
The relationship between you andyour parents are not going to
dissolve because of thoseboundaries.
It'll probably get better.
And it's not just for you, butit's for them as well, because
it's like a two-way street.
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (48:46):
Good point with what you said earlier with, how we
used to think of it as, youknow, bringing them to baseline
basically like trying to calmtheir anxiety, trying to get
them to let go of being sooverbearing, trying to get them
to a baseline level.
But what we didn't think aboutwas how much they could thrive

(49:07):
and go beyond the baselinelevel.
We just think about them asalways below baseline.
Like there it's too much, likethey're, they're put, they're
putting all of their emotionalburdens on us.
They're they're being way tooanxious and blah-blah-blah, and
so, you know, in a place whereit's not so great.
So we just want them to get backto baseline, but it's, it's

(49:29):
pleasantly surprising and also alittle bit.
I don't know if humbling is theright word, but more like don't
think about yourself.
Think about like, look at allthese great things and how much
my mom is thriving because ofthis.
And it also made me realize thatlike, you know, maybe she was
just being so overbearingbecause that was the role.

(49:51):
She felt like she had to playthat she kind of forgot about
who she was as a human beingthat, you know, she can have
fun.
And she's a, she's a person too.
She has personalities.
And she has things that shelikes and activities that she
enjoys, but she wasn't allowingherself to pursue these things
because she had to play the roleof a mother.

Angie Yu (50:10):
yo, that is brilliant.
Like it's not just a role that'sbeen placed on us as children,
but our parents had a role thatwas expected of them to okay.
That's like, boom.

Kristy Yee (50:26):
Boom, man, boom, that re that made me like kind
of made me wanna pee a little.

Angie Yu (50:34):
That is, yeah, really, really well said, like coming
full circle again, like we, wealways think about like, oh, we
need to do this.
Like, you're right.
Like our parents didn't knowwhat they were doing.
They weren't following a manual.
They can follow advice and tipsfrom other people.
But at the end of the day, theyhad to figure shit out on their
own.
And they were playing a rolethat was expected of them.

(50:57):
So like our moms think that theyhave to worry about us because
that's the.
And, but it really like it's,it's on us to draw those
boundaries.
Like, mom, you don't have toworry about me because well,
it's, I don't want to say it'sour responsibility, but we know
better.
We know better.
Not because we're smarter, butbecause we are presented with

(51:18):
more resources at our age and weare presented with opportunities
that they never were presentedwith.
So for us to educate them.
It's a good way for us to returnsome of the work that they've
put in to raise us.

Kristy Yee (51:32):
Here's an example of letting go of anxiety from both
ends.
Okay.
Because as children, we alsohave anxiety about our parents,
like making sure we please them.
We don't want to get yelled at.
We like do things to avoidconfrontation or whatever it is.
And then our parents will haveanxiety because they care about

(51:52):
us and they don't want us todie.
So when I came to Toronto withinthe first like 48 hours, I got
sick.
poor body cannot handle thisfluctuation of like 40 degrees
and then 20 degrees and then 40degrees and then 20 degrees.
Okay.
And why that happens is becausewhen you step outside, it's hot

(52:14):
as fuck, which for the prooftrips, who've been listening to
us for a while.
I thrive in the heat.
I freaking love it.
What I did not anticipate is allthe fucking AC it's like I'm in
Hong Kong.
Okay.
Where I have to like bring asweater so I can wear it when
I'm inside and then take it off.

(52:34):
But outside

Angie Yu (52:36):
Totally.

Kristy Yee (52:37):
needless to say, I got sick and I didn't want to
tell my mom

Angie Yu (52:41):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (52:42):
she's gonna, she's gonna yell at me.
She was going to school me.
She's going to be like, youshould have warmer clothes.
You should've been more careful.
These are all the things thatyou're going to have to eat and
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then she's going to check inon me every half an hour to see
if I'm still alive.
Right.
So, so I held on to all of thatbecause that's what I expected
my mom would do.

Angie Yu (53:04):
Yeah.
So it became shit that you don'ttell mom

Kristy Yee (53:08):
Exactly.

Angie Yu (53:09):
because you don't want her to worry.
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (53:11):
so I'm like, I'm a fucking adult.
I know how to do this.
I'll make some congee and likebrew some ginger lemon tea and
blah, blah, blah.
Right.
And, and so that all happens.
And of course, when I chat withmy mom, I was like, you know
what?
I'm a fucking adult.
Let's just own up to it.
So I told her, I'm like, yeah, Igot sick.
This is what I'm doing.
I kind of said that in amonotone newness to her

(53:34):
expecting to get a fuckingHowler for those who are Harry
Potter friends, you know whatI'm talking about, and this is
how she responded.
She was like,

Angie Yu (53:48):
Yeah, cause she trusts you now.

Kristy Yee (53:51):
I'm like what the fuck

Angie Yu (53:53):
I think for her, seeing you going away and like
doing grad school and like,she's really proud of you also
makes her think like, Hey, maybeshe does have her shit together.
So if she builds that trust,right?

Kristy Yee (54:07):
And, and what I thought was okay.
If we could just all let go alittle bit.
If I cause what I had done and Ihad to really think about it
too, was I let go of my fear ofreceiving a Howler from my mom.
I let go of the fear of tellingher that I was actually sick,
you know?
And then she also let go of thefear that I'm going to die.

Angie Yu (54:29):
Yeah.

Kristy Yee (54:32):
how pleasant of a conversation that was, I just
told her, yup, I'm sick.
This is what happened.
This is what I'm doing.
And she was like, okay, justtake care of yourself anyways,
back to the driving range, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, huh?
Like that was a much easierconversation than I had
anticipated because we both letgo.

Angie Yu (54:50):
Yeah.
So you're learning a lot, notjust about yourself right now.
Cause I remember saying that toyou when we talked about you
moving away, I'm like, oh,you're going to like learn more
about yourself as a blood, butyou're also learning more about
your mom.

Kristy Yee (55:04):
That's just, just another person

Angie Yu (55:07):
And how do you feel about that?

Kristy Yee (55:11):
kind of weird because it's a disconnect.
Cause I just know her as mom.
Right.
I only know her as thischaracter that she has been
playing for so long, but alsokind of cool to see that.
She is so much more than justmom.
She's another human being thatshe has.

(55:36):
She has the ability to besomeone cool.
Like, can you think about that?
Think, I think about that for asec.
Okay.
And like, to all of our poop,she was thinking about how your
parents can be cool and that'sa, it's an uncomfortable but
good feeling.
If that makes senseuncomfortable in a way that it's

(55:58):
out of character.
And that's why it's weird anduncomfortable, but also cool to
think that yeah.

Angie Yu (56:06):
Yeah.
And I think that's kind of theprocess of growing up, right.
Because you've known mom as mom,your whole life.
In this case, like you came outof her vagina and then she was
your mom from minute one.
But from the stories you've toldme, like, your mom has had an
incredible life leading to wheresh where her life was up until

(56:27):
like she had you.
And they were all veryimpressive things, but we
hardly, we seldom think aboutthat.
Right.
And it's not until like you'remore grown and that.
She's starting to have her ownlife again, like right now that
you're like, Hey, yeah, she wasa person before me.
And she's a person now.
Like it's just, it's kind ofit's.

(56:50):
Yeah, you're right.
It's like, it takes so much forour mind to really wrap around
that.
Like sometimes I still forgethow cool my mom is.
And I remember when she firststarted, like really getting
into yoga.
Like I was so proud of the factthat she can like do headstands
and handstands that I would postabout it on Instagram.
Not because I want to show off.
Well, maybe because a littlebit, I want to show off, but
mostly because I was so proudand also it was a way for me to

(57:11):
be like, like, this is real,like my mom's pretty dope.
Right.

Kristy Yee (57:17):
Yeah, that was pretty dope.
It's easy to see other people'smoms being dope passes.
It's easy to see that.
Yes, of course.
This is another human being.
Of course they have a lifeoutside of their role as being
moms.
It's so easy for us to see thatfor other people, but it's so
much more difficult when, whenyou look internally in your own

(57:38):
families and think about thatfor your.

Angie Yu (57:41):
Yeah, again, it goes back to the whole, like we need
to see that more from theirperspective.
So are you just feeling ahundred percent good about your
move?
Like there's

Kristy Yee (57:52):
we can hear her in the background.

Angie Yu (57:54):
my God.
I know she's being I'm guessingshe just woke up from her nap.
So now she has a lot of energy.

Kristy Yee (58:00):
So your question was, is that all fine and dandy
and rainbows and butterflies?
No, definitely not.
There's a lot of other shit thatwe will save for our next
episode.

Angie Yu (58:12):
Okay.
Sounds good.
First of all, thank you forlistening all the way to the
end.
We really appreciate it.
And I guess the takeaway fortoday's episode is just to
remember that you don't need tobe trapped in a certain role and
you don't need to trap others ina certain role.

(58:32):
And the only way to really wrapyour head around that is to try
to think about things from otherpeople's perspective, whether
that'd be your own mom or otherpeople's mom like there's good
and bad and everything.
That's just life.
So make the most of what you canand if there's something you
enjoy, then do that.

(58:52):
And so do things that you enjoybecause then that's the only way
to make the good things in life.
Outweigh the bad things.

Kristy Yee (58:59):
Nice well done and tune in for our next, our shit
episode where things might notbe as happy daddy.
And I talk more about some ofthe challenges of moving to
Toronto.

Angie Yu (59:15):
All right, bye.

(59:49):
I'm looking forward.
Yes.
Sorry.
I'm sleep deprived.

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