Episode 20: Guided Journal Entry #5

Today we’re asking:

“What are three fears holding you back? And what’s one small action you can take to challenge each fear?”

Yep. We’re not just naming the monsters under the bed—we’re pulling them out into the daylight, giving them a little side-eye, and figuring out how to politely (but firmly) evict them. These fears can be anything from “everyone secretly hates me” to “I can’t ask for what I need because I will spontaneously combust.” Super chill stuff.

Join us on the ONeil Counseling app here: ⁠https://www.oneilcounseling.com/app-landing-page

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome back to Shrink Wrapped, the podcast where we poke around
in our emotional baggage like raccoons with trust issues
looking for something shiny and or deeply repressed.
Today's guided journal prompt isone for the brave, or at least
this slightly over caffeinated, but we're still all going to do

(00:23):
it together. Today we're asking what are
three fears holding you back andwhat's one small action you can
take to challenge each fear? Yep, we're not just naming the
monsters under the bed. We are pulling them out into the

(00:47):
daylight, giving them a little side eye, and figuring out how
to politely but firmly evict them.
These fears can be anything fromeveryone secretly hates me.
Two, I can't ask for what I needbecause I will spontaneously

(01:07):
combust. Super chill stuff.
But here's the twist. We're not trying to conquer
these fears like some kind of motivational gladiator.
We're just going to nudge them, poke them a little, take one
small action that proves they don't actually run the show.

(01:31):
So grab your journal, maybe a comfort snack, and let's
lovingly roast our fear gremlinsuntil they lose their power, or
at least their dramatic flair. This is growth, baby.
Messy, weird, brave as hell growth.
Let's get into it. So let's talk about this Guido

(02:04):
Journal prompt that's equal parts call out, pep talk, and
emotional exfoliation. Again, it's what are three fears
holding you back and what's one small action you can take to
challenge each one? Yeah, we're going there because

(02:26):
fear. Fear is like that passive
aggressive roommate who never pays rent, leaves passive notes
on the fridge, hijacks your plans with worst case scenarios,
and still has the audacity to judge your life choices while
drinking your oat milk. Rude.

(02:49):
Maybe your fear sounds like Whatif I fail and everyone sees it?
What if people think I'm cringe?What if I succeed and now I have
to maintain that level of greatness without unraveling in
public? My personal favorite?

(03:13):
What if I peek too early and then it's all downhill into
mediocrity? Because yes, fear is dramatic.
It's the inner theater kid of your psyche, always making
everything a big production, always assuming disaster is
imminent, always acting like it's protecting you when really

(03:38):
it's just sabotaging your plans with jazz hands and anxiety.
But here's the thing. Fear hates being challenged.
It wants to feel big, loud, and in charge.
But the second you actually question it, it shrinks faster

(04:01):
than your confidence in middle school gym class.
That's why this prompt It's yourtool kit for deflating the fear
balloon with precision. And no, I'm not asking you to go
full Hero's Journey and slay thedragon of your deepest
insecurity today. This isn't a Pixar movie.

(04:25):
You're not expected to emerge completely transformed by the
end of the episode. All we're doing is poking the
fear gremlins with a metaphorical stick just to see
what they do. Spoiler mostly hiss and scatter.
We are breaking this down step by step because baby steps are

(04:48):
still steps and progress is progress even when it's awkward,
messy, and slightly sweat stained.
Step one, name your fears. Let's kick this thing off by
dragging your fears out from theshadows and slapping them onto

(05:12):
the page where they can't hide behind vague Instagram quotes
anymore. I'm talking about the real soul
sapping fears, the ones that have been quietly screwing with
yourself worth and ambitions like emotional termites.
So start by writing down 3 fearsthat have been doing the most

(05:37):
damage in your life lately. Not the fluffy ones like the
unknown or spiders. Unless your fear of spiders has
legitimately stopped you from chasing your dreams, in which
case, respect. I mean the sneaky specific ones.

(05:57):
The fears that whisper garbage like you're not enough,
everyone's going to think you'rea joke if you try and fail,
you'll ruin everything forever and probably die alone.
You know those fears, The petty little tyrants that camp out in

(06:21):
your brain like it's a timesharepopping up anytime you get
remotely close to doing something bold or different or
vaguely satisfying? Be brutally honest here.
Like emotional spring cleaning with a flamethrower.

(06:43):
Honest. What's the voice in your head
been saying that keeps you stuck, small and spiraling?
Write each one down like you're emptying a closet full of
emotional clutter. Dust off the shame costs, the

(07:03):
internalized judgment, and yes, even if one of your fears sounds
ridiculous, once it's on paper, good, That's half the power gone
already. Let's expose these gremlins so
we can start taking their tiny, chaotic power away. 1 journaled

(07:25):
truth bomb at a time. And if you're having trouble
parsing it out on the fly, let'stalk about the usual suspects on
the fear hit list. The ones that love to crash the
party in your brain, eat all your snacks, and then whisper
self doubt into your soul. Fear of failure.

(07:50):
Ah yes, the classic What if I try and it all goes down in
flames? First of all, calm down.
It's not a Greek tragedy. It's just an attempt.
No one's handing you a tragic mask and banishing you from
polite society. Worst case, something doesn't

(08:10):
work out. Cool, now you know what doesn't
work? That's not failure, it's R&D.
Failure gets treated like this big shameful final boss, but
really, it's just the world's clumsiest, clumsiest teacher.

(08:31):
It trips over its own feet, drops all the lesson plans, and
somehow leaves you knowing more than you did yesterday.
Spoiler alert, no one gets it right on the first try, not even
Beyoncé. And she has a lighting crew, a
stylist, and 12 backup dancers. So maybe cut yourself a little

(08:53):
slack. And the real kicker?
What if it actually works? What if you're not a hot mess
but a slow burn success story inprogress?
What if this whole falling on your face thing is just the
montage part before the payoff? Failure isn't proof you're

(09:17):
broken, it's proof you're brave enough to show up to try, to say
hey, I care enough to risk looking dumb.
And honestly, that's already a win.
And bonus, every time you try, the next attempt gets a little

(09:39):
less terrifying and a lot more informed.
Fear of judgement? Oh no, someone might think
things about you, The horror. But let's be real, people are
too busy scrolling through theirown existential crises to spend

(09:59):
that much time critiquing your life choices.
Seriously, they're wondering if their boss hates them, if their
last text sounded desperate, andif their stomach noise was
audible during the meeting. Most of the judgement you're
scared of it lives rent free in your own head, wearing a care

(10:20):
and wig and sipping in security lattes.
That inner voice is the one holding court, not the actual
outside world, and it's probablybeen there so long it thinks it
owns the place. The truth is, if someone is
judging you for showing up, trying something new, or being a

(10:42):
little weird, that's a reflection of their own
emotional Constipation, not yourworth.
Their discomfort with your authenticity is not your
emergency. Let them squirm in their
spectator seats while you do something brave.
You're not here to be universally liked, you're here

(11:06):
to be real and real. Real sometimes gets side eyed,
but it also gets free. Fear of rejection.
This one hits like middle schooldodgeball.

(11:27):
Sudden, brutal and weirdly personal rejection stings
because it makes us feel unworthy.
Like someone looked at you and said Nah, not good enough and
now your nervous system is spiraling into fight or flight
while you're just trying to ask for a raise or shoot your shot

(11:50):
with that hot bartender. But here's the thing, rejection
isn't a moral indictment. It's data.
It's information. A redirection, not a verdict.
No doesn't mean you suck, it just means that wasn't the right
person, job, opportunity, or moment.

(12:15):
And frankly, sometimes a no is protection in disguise.
You survive it. You learn.
You realize that one person's opinion or 1 closed door doesn't
define you. And then you either find the one

(12:36):
thing that does say yes, or you get so good at being rejected it
stops scaring you. That's when things get spicy.
Because if rejection doesn't ownyou anymore, you're basically
unstoppable. You become the kind of person
who tries anyway, and trying anyway.

(12:59):
That's power. Fear of change.
Let's talk about your clingy relationship with what's
familiar. Even when familiar is a dumpster
fire with Wi-Fi. Change is scary because it's

(13:21):
unpredictable, but so is stayingstuck.
And at least change has potential.
Your brain would rather micromanage your misery then
risk a slightly better unknown. But guess what?
Stagnation isn't neutral. It's a slow leak.

(13:45):
Staying in the same place doesn't keep you safe, it just
keeps you small and eventually you outgrow your comfort zone
like a pair of emotional skinny jeans that no longer fit.
Growth requires a little chaos. Sure, change might shake things

(14:08):
up, but that's not always bad. Sometimes it rearranges your
life into something actually worth waking up for.
Sometimes it brings clarity you couldn't find when everything
stayed the same. Staying still might feel safe,
but often it's just fear in a snuggie.

(14:31):
RIP it off, try the new thing. Give yourself permission to
shift, even if it's awkward, because no transformation has
ever looked elegant mid metamorphosis.
Fear of not being enough. Oh sweetie, this one is like the

(14:58):
background music of modern life quietly playing You are not
smart or pretty or capable enough on repeat.
It's subtle but relentless. It sneaks into your goals, your
relationships, yourself. Talk until everything feels like

(15:21):
a performance. You're 1 misstep away from
botching. But let's be clear, that voice
is lying loudly. Your worth isn't based on
productivity metrics, Instagram aesthetics, or how well you can
pretend you have it all together.

(15:42):
You are already enough just by existing, no achievement or
external validation required. But here's the nuance.
Maybe you're not there yet, So what?
Not being finished doesn't mean you're not enough.

(16:04):
You don't get better by stewing and insecurity.
You get better by doing, messingup, learning, and then doing it
better next time. Perfection is a myth designed to
keep people in performance mode.But progress?

(16:24):
That's real and it's yours. You are not a failed version of
your potential. You're a living, evolving work
in progress and that's enough. Step 2.
Call it out. Now that you've called out your

(16:46):
fears like the little emotional gremlins they are, it's time to
stop letting them host your inner monologue like they pay
rent. They don't grab each one and
challenge it like a lawyer with receipts.
Start with this question. Is this even true?

(17:08):
Fear loves to scream this is fact when really it's just
gossip your anxiety heard in a dark alley behind your self
esteem. So slow it down.
Ask yourself, is this a universal truth or just my brain
having a meltdown in high def? Next, who told me this?

(17:34):
Trace that fear back to its origin.
Was it a cranky teacher in 3rd grade?
An emotionally stunted parent? A boss who projected all their
insecurities onto you like a human shadow puppet?
You'd be shocked how many fears you've been lugging around that
don't even belong to you. It's like carrying emotional

(17:58):
baggage with someone else's initials on the luggage tag.
And finally, what evidence do I actually have?
Like real evidence, not a vibe. Or one time in 2014 when I
tripped on stage. What has actually happened to

(18:19):
support this fear? Most of the time the fear
doesn't hold up under investigation.
It's just a loud opinion with noreceipts.
And honestly, if fear can't provide facts, it doesn't get to
make executive decisions in yourlife.

(18:39):
Because here's the deal. Fears are bullies in bad
disguises. They put on these elaborate
costumes like I'm just trying tokeep you safe or I'm preparing
you for the worst, but they're really just insecurity in a
trench coat pretending to be wisdom.

(19:01):
And like all bullies, the secondyou stop reacting and start
questioning, their power starts to shrivel up faster than a
salad in the back of your fridge.
So no, you don't have to destroyyour fears today.
Just stand up to them, call themout, look them in the eye and

(19:23):
say cute story, but I'm not buying it anymore.
That alone is a power move. Step three.
Choose one small action per fear.
This is where we stop overthinking and start

(19:44):
misbehaving strategically. If fear has been acting like the
emotional dictator of your brain, it's time for a little
civil disobedience, not the dramatic sell everything and
move to Bali kind. Unless Bali's calling, in which

(20:04):
case pack light. I'm talking about tiny,
rebellious acts of courage, the kind that make fear clutch its
pearls and whisper well, I neverIf you've got a fear of failure,
don't wait until you're ready. You'll be collecting dust by

(20:24):
then. Instead, do something low stakes
but loud. Write that first paragraph.
Hit post on that messy project. Sign up for the class.
You've been doomed scrolling formonths.
Yes, it might flop, but it also might not.

(20:47):
And either way, you'll have proof you didn't die.
Growth doesn't require perfection, it requires
movement. Terrified of rejection?
Welcome to the club. We have snacks and abandonment
issues. But seriously, rejection isn't a

(21:09):
personality indictment. It's just someone else saying
not right now or not for me. So ask the thing, say the words,
send the message, pitch the idea, apply, inquire or flirt,
whatever your brand of vulnerability is.
Then high 5 yourself. Even if the answer is no,

(21:33):
because you did it. And that's the whole point.
Dealing with a fear of judgement.
Congratulations, you're a human being with a brain and a Wi-Fi
connection. Here's your mission.
Wear the outfit that makes you feel like a hot weirdo.

(21:54):
Share the opinion that isn't sanitized for group approval.
Post the thing, even if it's imperfect and emotionally risky.
Watch in shock is the world doesn't implode.
Most people are too obsessed with their own lives to roast
yours, and the ones who do, they're just projecting their

(22:18):
own bland insecurities. Let them paralyzed by the fear
of not being enough. Let me guess, you keep bending
over backward people, pleasing your way into burnout and saying
yes when your soul is whisperingplease stop?

(22:39):
Here's a revolutionary idea. Say no.
Say it without a 12 slide PowerPoint of justifications.
Protect your energy like it's Beyoncé's might.
You don't have to do it all to be worthy.
You don't even have to be extraordinary.

(22:59):
You just have to be you and showup with integrity and maybe a
little sass. Finally, let's talk about the
fear of change, AKA the emotional equivalent of clinging
to a moldy safety blanket. You say you want things to be

(23:20):
different, but you won't even change your coffee order, let
alone your lifestyle. So let's start small.
Shake up one routine. Take a new route to work.
Sit with the discomfort of doingsomething unfamiliar.
Realize that the world keeps spinning and you're still alive,

(23:44):
just a little more badass than you were yesterday.
The goal here isn't to become fearless.
That's not a thing. The goal is to build momentum in
spite of fear, because even the tiniest action is a middle

(24:04):
finger to the part of your brainthat keeps trying to keep you
small. Once you've got your fear list
and the tiny rebellious actions you're going to take, don't just
toss it aside like an emotional receipt you're too scared to
look at again. Sit with it.

(24:25):
Stare it down. Let it simmer.
These aren't just words on a page.
This is proof that you're doing the messy, brave, wildly
uncomfortable work of showing upto your own damn life.

(24:45):
Because here's the deal. Fear doesn't mean stop
everything in panic. Fear means hey, this matters to
you and your brain is freaking out because it doesn't want you
to get hurt or look stupid. Cute, right?
But outdated. That fear was designed to keep

(25:09):
you from getting eaten by Saber toothed tigers, not from
submitting your resume or posting a vulnerable TikTok.
It's an ancient alarm system that's gone rogue.
You don't need to shut it off, you just need to question its
authority. You are absolutely allowed to

(25:31):
move forward, even if your voiceshakes, your hands sweat, and
your inner monologue sounds a lot like a live recording of
Doubt. The musical Courage isn't about
strutting through life like a fearless badass on a Ted stage.
It's about whispering. I'm doing it anyway while your

(25:53):
brain is trying to negotiate your exit strategy.
So take a deep breath. No, like a real 1.
Unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders.
Reread what you wrote that list,those actions.

(26:18):
That's your blueprint for kicking fear in the shins with
steel toe boots made of insight and attitude.
You didn't run from it. You called it out, faced it, and
took one deliberate step forward.
That's more than most people do.That's emotional badassery in

(26:41):
action. And look, I know self growth
doesn't come with applause or gold stars, but screw it, I'm
proud of you. You did something hard today.
You looked your fears in the eyeand said you don't get to be in

(27:03):
charge anymore. That's not small, that's a power
move. Now it's time to drink some
water, take a victory lap, emotionally or physically.
Your call. And remember, your fear doesn't
run the show. You do.

(27:26):
And there you have it, your fears dragged into the light,
interrogated like a bad reality show contestant and hit with a
dose of I'm doing it anyway. You didn't avoid the hard stuff
today. You looked it dead in the eye
and said not today, fear. I've got shit to do.

(27:48):
Will those fears magically vanish now?
Hell no. They'll probably try to sneak
back in with a fake mustache anda new excuse.
But now? Now you've got tools.
You've got receipts. You've got a list that proves
you're not just surviving. You're strategizing.

(28:10):
So keep going, keep pushing back, one small act of rebellion
at a time. Because this whole living
intentionally thing, it's not about being fearless, it's about
being gutsy enough to move forward even when fear still

(28:32):
whispering nonsense in the backseat.
And yes, you're allowed to turn up the radio and ignore it until
next time. Stay bold, stay messy, and
remember, growth doesn't come from comfort zones.
It comes from sweaty palms, shaky steps, and doing it

(28:53):
anyway. Next week we're talking about
the power of thought and words and how to retrain your brain.
And honestly, it should be a spicy one.
Don't forget to like, subscribe,rate, review all the things the
algorithm gods demand in order to keep us going and growing.

(29:17):
And hey, share this episode withsomeone you know who needs to
poke around in their brain. It's good for us to all do it
together. And Speaking of doing it
together, if you haven't been tothe O'Neill Counseling app yet,
jump into the show notes and there's a link where you can
download it. That's where you can find blog
posts with text transcripts of every episode.

(29:39):
There's a feed of the Bod, the podcast itself, but it's also
its own little social media spot.
There's actually a group dedicated to our guided journal
entries. You can also earn fun badges
like Touch Grass Once and Staying Alive.
Now go do something your fear didn't approve of.