Ah yes, the classic motivational war cry: “You just need to want it more.” As if sheer desire alone can break generational trauma, cure chronic illness, override neurodivergence, or magically conjure up the time, money, and childcare you’d need to chase your goals. It’s the kind of advice that sounds deep until you actually think about it—and realize it’s basically just guilt wrapped in a Pinterest font. So today on Shrink Wrapped, we’re unpacking this weaponized self-help nonsense. Where did it come from? Why do people keep saying it? And how can we chase our goals without internalizing the idea that not achieving them means we’re lazy, broken, or somehow just didn’t want it enough?
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(00:01):
Yeah, the classic motivational war cry.
You just need to want it more. As if sheer desire alone can
break generational trauma, cure chronic illness, override
neurodivergence, or magically conjure up the time, money, and
(00:24):
childcare you'd need to chase your goals.
It's the kind of advice that sounds deep until you actually
think about it and realize it's basically just guilt wrapped in
a Pinterest font. Sure, ambition matters.
(00:47):
Drive is great. But telling someone their dreams
aren't coming true because they don't want it enough ignores
every structural, psychological,emotional, and biological factor
that might actually be in play. It's a cliche that turns
(01:09):
struggle into a character flaw and burnout into a personal
failing. And spoiler alert, that's not
only harmful, it's wildly unhelpful.
So today on Shrink Wrapped, we're unpacking this weaponized
self help nonsense. Where did it come from?
(01:32):
Why do people keep saying it? And how can we chase our goals
without internalizing the idea that not achieving them means
we're lazy, broken, or somehow just didn't want it enough?
We're going to talk about what happens when hustle culture
meets human limits, because it'snot a lack of desire holding us
(01:55):
back, it's the myth that willpower alone can fix
everything. Let's get into it.
As far as motivational cliches go, you just Need to Want it
(02:17):
More is right up there with everything happens for a reason
and thoughts and prayers vague, overused, and deeply unhelpful
when you're actually in the trenches of real life struggle.
Sure, it sounds inspiring in a coffee mug at a startup office
(02:42):
kind of way, but let's be real. The idea that success, healing,
or progress is just a matter of wanting it hard enough is not
only wildly simplistic, it's also a one way ticket to
burnout, shame, and the sneaky belief that if you're
(03:03):
struggling, it's your own damn fault.
This kind of thinking turns complex human experiences into a
motivational poster. Can't focus because of ADHD,
just want it more. Struggling with depression?
Maybe you just don't want to feel better Bad enough.
(03:25):
Burned out from juggling 5 jobs and emotional baggage inherited
from three generations? Guess you're just not
manifesting hard enough, babe. It ignores the reality that
desire isn't a magic wand. Wanting something doesn't
override systemic barriers, mental health challenges, trauma
(03:49):
responses, chronic illness, or with the fact that sometimes
your brain is just tired and your body is done.
And yet this phrase keeps showing up, like that one cousin
who gives unsolicited life advice at every family function.
(04:10):
Let's start with the biggest issue.
This phrase is the emotional equivalent of slapping duct tape
on a leaking submarine and calling it good.
You just need to want it more. Flattens wildly complex, deeply
personal challenges into a bite sized sound bite, as if
(04:35):
willpower alone is some kind of universal cheat code.
Spoiler alert, it's not. Real life goals don't happen in
a vacuum. You're not just choosing between
lazy and motivated. You're navigating mental health
(04:57):
hurdles, trauma, flashbacks, systemic inequality, student
loan debt, maybe a chronic illness, and let's not forget
the sheer chaos of just being a person in late stage capitalism.
Reducing all of that to a lack of want is like telling someone
(05:19):
trying to scale Everest in flip flops that they'd be fine if
they just believed harder. Take addiction for example.
It's not a bad habit. Someone can snap out of if they
just care enough. It's a complex, often relapsing
(05:42):
medical condition involving brain chemistry, trauma history,
environmental triggers, and a whole tangled web of physical
and psychological codependency. Saying you just need to want to
get clean isn't motivational, it's dismissive, it invalidates
(06:06):
the person's struggle and blamesthem for not white knuckling
their way through something thatliterally requires professional
support and long term care. So the next time someone hits
you with that line, feel free tosay cool, I'll just go want
(06:26):
myself out of this deeply entrenched situation that
requires time, support, and literal therapy.
Thanks so much. And if oversimplifying human
struggle wasn't bad enough, thislittle gem also completely Yeats
external barriers out the window.
(06:48):
As if the only thing standing between you and your dream is a
lack of vision board commitment.I mean, here's the truth no
inspirational quote account wants to admit.
Sometimes the reason you're not thriving isn't because you don't
want it enough, it's because thesystem is rigged, your rent is
(07:12):
due, and you're trying to manifest abundance with $7.00 in
your bank account and a Wi-Fi signal held together.
By pure hope I mean telling someone facing real world
obstacles like poverty, racism, chronic illness, or 0.
Access to decent education that they just need to want it more
(07:33):
is like handing someone a paper straw and telling them to row
across the ocean. It's not empowering, it's
condescending. It ignores the actual weight
they're carrying and then blamesthem for not running a marathon
with it strapped to their back. And the worst part?
(07:56):
It breeds shame. People start thinking maybe I'm
not trying hard enough, maybe I really am the problem, when in
reality they're doing everythingthey can within the limitations
they've been handed. Wanting something doesn't erase
(08:17):
systemic inequality, and pretending it does just
gaslights people into thinking they're failing because they're
lazy instead of because the deckis stacked against them.
So no, Barbara, it's not that they don't want it enough, it's
that society keeps moving the finish line while yelling run
(08:41):
faster. And if all that wasn't enough,
let's talk about the mindset whiplash this phrase creates.
You just need to want it more. It doesn't just ignore external
obstacles or complex challenges.It also sneakily promotes a
(09:04):
fixed mindset dressed up in hustle culture drag.
It frames success like it's somekind of vending machine.
Insert enough desire, get the outcome you want.
But when the snacks don't drop, AKA you don't get the job, the
(09:26):
degree, the healing, the life you envisioned, you're left
wondering what the hell is wrongwith you.
Not the system, not the circumstances, not the fact that
200 other people also applied tothat same job.
Nope, just you. And you're apparently weak ass
(09:48):
wanting skills. This mindset tells people that
failure equals not trying hard enough, which quickly spirals
into I must be the failure. It doesn't leave much room for
nuance, like timing, fit, or thefact that the hiring manager
(10:13):
might have picked their cousin'sroommate.
Instead, it quietly trains people to internalize every set
back as proof that they're not enough, not driven enough, not
talented enough, not worthy enough.
(10:35):
So instead of encouraging growth, it shackles people with
shame and spoiler Shame. Not a great motivator.
It's a great way to burn out, shut down, and start Googling
how to disappear without faking your own death.
(10:59):
Let's not forget the total strategy blackout this phrase
promotes either. You just need to want it more.
It's like desire is some kind ofGPS system that will guide you
straight to your goals. No map, no planning, just good
(11:20):
vibes and sweat. But here's the thing, Desire
without strategy is just desperation in a cute outfit.
When people are told to chase big goals with nothing but
heart, they often end up runningthemselves into the ground
(11:42):
thinking maybe if I just try harder, hustle more, sacrifice
everything, it'll finally work. Spoiler, it won't.
Not without a plan, not without support, not without actual
(12:03):
tools and skills. And sometimes a little dumb
luck. Take someone trying to lose
weight. Telling them to want it more
doesn't magically teach them about nutrition, sustainable
(12:24):
movement, or how disordered eating can creep in disguised as
dedication. Instead it pressures them to go
full chaos mode. 2A day workouts, 1200 calorie meal
plans, shame spirals and sad salads.
(12:48):
What they need isn't a deeper desire to be better.
They need a balanced, realistic plan that supports their body
and their mental health. So no Karen, they don't need to
want it more. They need a strategy and a nap.
(13:13):
And for the cherry on this toxicsundae, you just need to want it
more. Straight up invalidates mental
health struggles, as if depression is just laziness and
a trench coat and anxiety is something you can sweat out with
(13:34):
a motivational playlist. This kind of thinking completely
steamrolls over the fact that mental health conditions
literally hijack your brain's ability to function.
A person with depression might desperately want to show up,
(13:55):
succeed, chase dreams, write that novel, land that job, but
they're here fighting an invisible war just to get out of
bed and answer an e-mail withoutcrying.
It's not a lack of want, it's that their brain is playing
(14:18):
every scene in grayscale with the volume turned up on.
Self doubt. Telling someone in that state
that they just need to want it more is like yelling just swim
harder at someone with a broken leg in the middle of the ocean.
(14:39):
Not only is it unhelpful, it's dismissive as hell.
It reinforces the shame spiral. If I really wanted this, I'd be
able to do it. When in reality what they
actually need is support, treatment and compassion, not a
(15:04):
bootstrap speech from someone who's never had to white knuckle
their way through a panic attackin a Target parking lot.
Mental health struggles aren't alack of motivation, they're
real, valid and deserve better than a platitude slapped over
them like a glitter Band-Aid. Now of course we can't talk
(15:29):
about you just need to want it more without mentioning it's
ride or die bestie toxic productivity.
Because what better way to ruin your relationship with rest then
by convincing yourself that any moment not spent grinding is a
moral failure? This phrase doesn't just
(15:53):
pressure people to try harder, it suddenly whispers that if
you're not exhausted, over committed, and emotionally
fried, then clearly you don't want it bad enough.
Cue the rise and grind lifestyle, where burnout is worn
like a badge of honor and rest is treated like a luxury
(16:17):
reserved for the weak or alreadysuccessful.
Suddenly people are skipping meals, canceling joy, sleeping 4
hours a night, and Googling how to be more productive on five
cups of coffee and a nervous breakdown.
All because they've internalizedthe idea that if they really
(16:37):
cared, they'd be doing more and more and still more.
The reality? That kind of relentless pushing
doesn't lead to success. It leads to your brain short
circuiting while you cry into a spreadsheet at 2:00 AM.
(17:02):
Wanting something is great, sure, but if it comes at the
cost of your health, your sanity, and your basic humanity,
it's not ambition, it's self destruction in a productivity
themed costume. So maybe, just maybe, the
(17:24):
bravest, most goal aligned thingyou can do sometimes is rest.
You can't want it more if you'retoo damn tired to remember what
it even is. And let's talk about the
emotional landmine. This phrase drops shame and
(17:49):
guilt gift wrapped in faux motivation.
Because when you just need to want it more doesn't work.
And spoiler, it often doesn't. It leaves people stewing in the
belief that their struggle is 100% their own fault.
(18:12):
Forget nuance. Forget learning curves.
Forget that sometimes things arejust hard and messy and
nonlinear. If you buy into this mindset,
any failure becomes a personal indictment.
I'm I must not care enough. I'm clearly not trying hard
(18:35):
enough. Maybe I'm just not cut out for
this. Congratulations, you're now
stuck in the shame spiral, complete with self doubt,
internalized inadequacy, and thecreeping urge to abandon your
goals all together because clearly you're defective.
(18:59):
Picture a student grinding for exams, doing everything short of
sacrificing sleep and Stan sanity to understand the
material. Then they hear, well, maybe you
just need to want it more. And suddenly it's not about
(19:21):
needing a new study strategy or a supportive teacher.
It's about being broken, about being the problem, about
drowning in guilt for not being able to brute force their way
through with raw ambition. This is an encouragement.
(19:47):
It's emotional gaslighting with a motivational quote slapped on
top. So let's retire the phrase and
start recognizing that effort isn't everything, context
matters, support matters, and being human isn't a flaw.
(20:16):
Now we can't forget the perfectionism pressure cooker
this phrase fuels. You just need to want it more.
Doesn't push people to try, it pushes them to get it right the
first time every time with 0 mistakes and a big sparkly bow
on top. Because apparently if you really
(20:38):
wanted it, you'd be doing it Florida State by now.
No pressure. This kind of thinking breeds a
toxic relationship with failure,where any misstep isn't just
part of the process, it's evidence that you suck.
(20:59):
It turns trying something new into a high stakes performance
where you're not allowed to stumble, pivot, or, God forbid,
learn as you go. Say you're starting a new
business. You're juggling a website, a
(21:21):
logo, taxes, marketing, existential dread, the works.
But because you really want it, you start believing that every
hiccup is a personal failure, sales dip and you must not want
(21:44):
it enough. Can't figure out SEO?
Clearly you're not committed. Suddenly you're burning out and
spiraling, not because you don'thave what it takes, but because
perfectionism told you there's no room for growth, only
(22:07):
flawless execution from day one.And let's be real, nothing
smothers creativity and risk taking faster than the fear of
doing it wrong. So instead of launching that
business, writing that book, or going after that dream, you
(22:27):
freeze, convinced that unless you can do it perfectly, you
shouldn't do it at all. It's not that people don't want
it, it's that this mindset tellsthem they're not allowed to be
messy while they figure it out, and that that's how dreams die.
(22:52):
Not from a lack of desire, but from the unbearable pressure to
prove that you're worthy of themevery second.
So after dragging this phrase through the mud deservedly,
let's zoom out for a second. Because the real kicker with You
(23:16):
Just Need to want it enough is that it's not just wrong, it's
dangerously incomplete. It takes the chaotic, nuanced,
deeply human reality of pursuinggoals and reduces it to a
motivational bumper sticker. Cute.
(23:39):
Maybe helpful, Absolutely not. It completely skips over the
fact that success isn't just some linear climb powered by
grit and good vibes. Real growth, real progress.
It's messy, it's slow, it's influenced by privilege, health,
(24:07):
timing, luck, support systems, and occasionally whether Mercury
is in retrograde. Wanting something is a part of
the equation, sure, but it's notthe whole damn math problem.
The truth is clinging to this just want it more mindset sets
(24:30):
people up for self blame, burnout, and straight up
disappointment. It convinces them that they're
failing because they're not trying hard enough, when the
reality is that they're human beings navigating complicated
terrain, not robots powered by caffeine and ambition alone.
(24:53):
So instead of measuring your worth by how hard you hustle or
how badly you want something, try this build in rest.
Ask for help, make a plan, pivotwhen needed, and give yourself
(25:17):
grace when it doesn't all click right away.
Because true motivation isn't about punishing yourself into
progress, it's about working with your humanity, not against
it. So here's the thing.
If wanting it more were enough, we'd all be enlightened
(25:43):
millionaires with six pack abs and flawless emotional
boundaries. Wanting something is step one,
but it's not the whole staircase.
Real change isn't powered by willpower alone.
(26:05):
It's built out of 1000 unglamorous choices that no one
claps for. It's setting boundaries that
make people uncomfortable. It's getting out of bed on the
days when your brain feels like a swamp.
It's picking the quiet, boring work of healing over the
(26:27):
dopamine head of chaos. Wanting it more sounds
motivational until it becomes a weapon, a way to shame people
for struggling, or a way to gaslight yourself into thinking
your effort doesn't count until it's visible.
(26:48):
The truth is, sometimes the mostradical thing you can do is want
less. Want less perfection?
Want less approval? Want less of the fantasy version
(27:08):
of yourself and start working with the messy, miraculous human
you actually are. So if no one's told you lately,
you don't need to want it more. You need to meet yourself where
(27:32):
you are and take one honest, doable step forward.
Not because it looks impressive,but because it's real.
Thanks for hanging out with me today.
If this episode hit a nerve or maybe helped loosen one, share
(27:58):
it with someone who might need to hear it too.
You can find Shrink Wrapped wherever you listen to podcasts
or follow along on socials for more irreverent takes on the
therapy world, healing, and the general chaos of being human.
And remember, you are not behind, you're not broken, and
(28:21):
you're not lazy. You're just learning how to live
without the guilt trip disguisedas motivation.
I'll see you next week when we talk about the delightful little
thief of joy known as burnout.
Yeah, the classic motivational war cry.
You just need to want it more. As if sheer desire alone can
break generational trauma, cure chronic illness, override
neurodivergence, or magically conjure up the time, money, and
(00:24):
childcare you'd need to chase your goals.
It's the kind of advice that sounds deep until you actually
think about it and realize it's basically just guilt wrapped in
a Pinterest font. Sure, ambition matters.
(00:47):
Drive is great. But telling someone their dreams
aren't coming true because they don't want it enough ignores
every structural, psychological,emotional, and biological factor
that might actually be in play. It's a cliche that turns
(01:09):
struggle into a character flaw and burnout into a personal
failing. And spoiler alert, that's not
only harmful, it's wildly unhelpful.
So today on Shrink Wrapped, we're unpacking this weaponized
self help nonsense. Where did it come from?
(01:32):
Why do people keep saying it? And how can we chase our goals
without internalizing the idea that not achieving them means
we're lazy, broken, or somehow just didn't want it enough?
We're going to talk about what happens when hustle culture
meets human limits, because it'snot a lack of desire holding us
(01:55):
back, it's the myth that willpower alone can fix
everything. Let's get into it.
As far as motivational cliches go, you just Need to Want it
(02:17):
More is right up there with everything happens for a reason
and thoughts and prayers vague, overused, and deeply unhelpful
when you're actually in the trenches of real life struggle.
Sure, it sounds inspiring in a coffee mug at a startup office
(02:42):
kind of way, but let's be real. The idea that success, healing,
or progress is just a matter of wanting it hard enough is not
only wildly simplistic, it's also a one way ticket to
burnout, shame, and the sneaky belief that if you're
(03:03):
struggling, it's your own damn fault.
This kind of thinking turns complex human experiences into a
motivational poster. Can't focus because of ADHD,
just want it more. Struggling with depression?
Maybe you just don't want to feel better Bad enough.
(03:25):
Burned out from juggling 5 jobs and emotional baggage inherited
from three generations? Guess you're just not
manifesting hard enough, babe. It ignores the reality that
desire isn't a magic wand. Wanting something doesn't
override systemic barriers, mental health challenges, trauma
(03:49):
responses, chronic illness, or with the fact that sometimes
your brain is just tired and your body is done.
And yet this phrase keeps showing up, like that one cousin
who gives unsolicited life advice at every family function.
(04:10):
Let's start with the biggest issue.
This phrase is the emotional equivalent of slapping duct tape
on a leaking submarine and calling it good.
You just need to want it more. Flattens wildly complex, deeply
personal challenges into a bite sized sound bite, as if
(04:35):
willpower alone is some kind of universal cheat code.
Spoiler alert, it's not. Real life goals don't happen in
a vacuum. You're not just choosing between
lazy and motivated. You're navigating mental health
(04:57):
hurdles, trauma, flashbacks, systemic inequality, student
loan debt, maybe a chronic illness, and let's not forget
the sheer chaos of just being a person in late stage capitalism.
Reducing all of that to a lack of want is like telling someone
(05:19):
trying to scale Everest in flip flops that they'd be fine if
they just believed harder. Take addiction for example.
It's not a bad habit. Someone can snap out of if they
just care enough. It's a complex, often relapsing
(05:42):
medical condition involving brain chemistry, trauma history,
environmental triggers, and a whole tangled web of physical
and psychological codependency. Saying you just need to want to
get clean isn't motivational, it's dismissive, it invalidates
(06:06):
the person's struggle and blamesthem for not white knuckling
their way through something thatliterally requires professional
support and long term care. So the next time someone hits
you with that line, feel free tosay cool, I'll just go want
(06:26):
myself out of this deeply entrenched situation that
requires time, support, and literal therapy.
Thanks so much. And if oversimplifying human
struggle wasn't bad enough, thislittle gem also completely Yeats
external barriers out the window.
(06:48):
As if the only thing standing between you and your dream is a
lack of vision board commitment.I mean, here's the truth no
inspirational quote account wants to admit.
Sometimes the reason you're not thriving isn't because you don't
want it enough, it's because thesystem is rigged, your rent is
(07:12):
due, and you're trying to manifest abundance with $7.00 in
your bank account and a Wi-Fi signal held together.
By pure hope I mean telling someone facing real world
obstacles like poverty, racism, chronic illness, or 0.
Access to decent education that they just need to want it more
(07:33):
is like handing someone a paper straw and telling them to row
across the ocean. It's not empowering, it's
condescending. It ignores the actual weight
they're carrying and then blamesthem for not running a marathon
with it strapped to their back. And the worst part?
(07:56):
It breeds shame. People start thinking maybe I'm
not trying hard enough, maybe I really am the problem, when in
reality they're doing everythingthey can within the limitations
they've been handed. Wanting something doesn't erase
(08:17):
systemic inequality, and pretending it does just
gaslights people into thinking they're failing because they're
lazy instead of because the deckis stacked against them.
So no, Barbara, it's not that they don't want it enough, it's
that society keeps moving the finish line while yelling run
(08:41):
faster. And if all that wasn't enough,
let's talk about the mindset whiplash this phrase creates.
You just need to want it more. It doesn't just ignore external
obstacles or complex challenges.It also sneakily promotes a
(09:04):
fixed mindset dressed up in hustle culture drag.
It frames success like it's somekind of vending machine.
Insert enough desire, get the outcome you want.
But when the snacks don't drop, AKA you don't get the job, the
(09:26):
degree, the healing, the life you envisioned, you're left
wondering what the hell is wrongwith you.
Not the system, not the circumstances, not the fact that
200 other people also applied tothat same job.
Nope, just you. And you're apparently weak ass
(09:48):
wanting skills. This mindset tells people that
failure equals not trying hard enough, which quickly spirals
into I must be the failure. It doesn't leave much room for
nuance, like timing, fit, or thefact that the hiring manager
(10:13):
might have picked their cousin'sroommate.
Instead, it quietly trains people to internalize every set
back as proof that they're not enough, not driven enough, not
talented enough, not worthy enough.
(10:35):
So instead of encouraging growth, it shackles people with
shame and spoiler Shame. Not a great motivator.
It's a great way to burn out, shut down, and start Googling
how to disappear without faking your own death.
(10:59):
Let's not forget the total strategy blackout this phrase
promotes either. You just need to want it more.
It's like desire is some kind ofGPS system that will guide you
straight to your goals. No map, no planning, just good
(11:20):
vibes and sweat. But here's the thing, Desire
without strategy is just desperation in a cute outfit.
When people are told to chase big goals with nothing but
heart, they often end up runningthemselves into the ground
(11:42):
thinking maybe if I just try harder, hustle more, sacrifice
everything, it'll finally work. Spoiler, it won't.
Not without a plan, not without support, not without actual
(12:03):
tools and skills. And sometimes a little dumb
luck. Take someone trying to lose
weight. Telling them to want it more
doesn't magically teach them about nutrition, sustainable
(12:24):
movement, or how disordered eating can creep in disguised as
dedication. Instead it pressures them to go
full chaos mode. 2A day workouts, 1200 calorie meal
plans, shame spirals and sad salads.
(12:48):
What they need isn't a deeper desire to be better.
They need a balanced, realistic plan that supports their body
and their mental health. So no Karen, they don't need to
want it more. They need a strategy and a nap.
(13:13):
And for the cherry on this toxicsundae, you just need to want it
more. Straight up invalidates mental
health struggles, as if depression is just laziness and
a trench coat and anxiety is something you can sweat out with
(13:34):
a motivational playlist. This kind of thinking completely
steamrolls over the fact that mental health conditions
literally hijack your brain's ability to function.
A person with depression might desperately want to show up,
(13:55):
succeed, chase dreams, write that novel, land that job, but
they're here fighting an invisible war just to get out of
bed and answer an e-mail withoutcrying.
It's not a lack of want, it's that their brain is playing
(14:18):
every scene in grayscale with the volume turned up on.
Self doubt. Telling someone in that state
that they just need to want it more is like yelling just swim
harder at someone with a broken leg in the middle of the ocean.
(14:39):
Not only is it unhelpful, it's dismissive as hell.
It reinforces the shame spiral. If I really wanted this, I'd be
able to do it. When in reality what they
actually need is support, treatment and compassion, not a
(15:04):
bootstrap speech from someone who's never had to white knuckle
their way through a panic attackin a Target parking lot.
Mental health struggles aren't alack of motivation, they're
real, valid and deserve better than a platitude slapped over
them like a glitter Band-Aid. Now of course we can't talk
(15:29):
about you just need to want it more without mentioning it's
ride or die bestie toxic productivity.
Because what better way to ruin your relationship with rest then
by convincing yourself that any moment not spent grinding is a
moral failure? This phrase doesn't just
(15:53):
pressure people to try harder, it suddenly whispers that if
you're not exhausted, over committed, and emotionally
fried, then clearly you don't want it bad enough.
Cue the rise and grind lifestyle, where burnout is worn
like a badge of honor and rest is treated like a luxury
(16:17):
reserved for the weak or alreadysuccessful.
Suddenly people are skipping meals, canceling joy, sleeping 4
hours a night, and Googling how to be more productive on five
cups of coffee and a nervous breakdown.
All because they've internalizedthe idea that if they really
(16:37):
cared, they'd be doing more and more and still more.
The reality? That kind of relentless pushing
doesn't lead to success. It leads to your brain short
circuiting while you cry into a spreadsheet at 2:00 AM.
(17:02):
Wanting something is great, sure, but if it comes at the
cost of your health, your sanity, and your basic humanity,
it's not ambition, it's self destruction in a productivity
themed costume. So maybe, just maybe, the
(17:24):
bravest, most goal aligned thingyou can do sometimes is rest.
You can't want it more if you'retoo damn tired to remember what
it even is. And let's talk about the
emotional landmine. This phrase drops shame and
(17:49):
guilt gift wrapped in faux motivation.
Because when you just need to want it more doesn't work.
And spoiler, it often doesn't. It leaves people stewing in the
belief that their struggle is 100% their own fault.
(18:12):
Forget nuance. Forget learning curves.
Forget that sometimes things arejust hard and messy and
nonlinear. If you buy into this mindset,
any failure becomes a personal indictment.
I'm I must not care enough. I'm clearly not trying hard
(18:35):
enough. Maybe I'm just not cut out for
this. Congratulations, you're now
stuck in the shame spiral, complete with self doubt,
internalized inadequacy, and thecreeping urge to abandon your
goals all together because clearly you're defective.
(18:59):
Picture a student grinding for exams, doing everything short of
sacrificing sleep and Stan sanity to understand the
material. Then they hear, well, maybe you
just need to want it more. And suddenly it's not about
(19:21):
needing a new study strategy or a supportive teacher.
It's about being broken, about being the problem, about
drowning in guilt for not being able to brute force their way
through with raw ambition. This is an encouragement.
(19:47):
It's emotional gaslighting with a motivational quote slapped on
top. So let's retire the phrase and
start recognizing that effort isn't everything, context
matters, support matters, and being human isn't a flaw.
(20:16):
Now we can't forget the perfectionism pressure cooker
this phrase fuels. You just need to want it more.
Doesn't push people to try, it pushes them to get it right the
first time every time with 0 mistakes and a big sparkly bow
on top. Because apparently if you really
(20:38):
wanted it, you'd be doing it Florida State by now.
No pressure. This kind of thinking breeds a
toxic relationship with failure,where any misstep isn't just
part of the process, it's evidence that you suck.
(20:59):
It turns trying something new into a high stakes performance
where you're not allowed to stumble, pivot, or, God forbid,
learn as you go. Say you're starting a new
business. You're juggling a website, a
(21:21):
logo, taxes, marketing, existential dread, the works.
But because you really want it, you start believing that every
hiccup is a personal failure, sales dip and you must not want
(21:44):
it enough. Can't figure out SEO?
Clearly you're not committed. Suddenly you're burning out and
spiraling, not because you don'thave what it takes, but because
perfectionism told you there's no room for growth, only
(22:07):
flawless execution from day one.And let's be real, nothing
smothers creativity and risk taking faster than the fear of
doing it wrong. So instead of launching that
business, writing that book, or going after that dream, you
(22:27):
freeze, convinced that unless you can do it perfectly, you
shouldn't do it at all. It's not that people don't want
it, it's that this mindset tellsthem they're not allowed to be
messy while they figure it out, and that that's how dreams die.
(22:52):
Not from a lack of desire, but from the unbearable pressure to
prove that you're worthy of themevery second.
So after dragging this phrase through the mud deservedly,
let's zoom out for a second. Because the real kicker with You
(23:16):
Just Need to want it enough is that it's not just wrong, it's
dangerously incomplete. It takes the chaotic, nuanced,
deeply human reality of pursuinggoals and reduces it to a
motivational bumper sticker. Cute.
(23:39):
Maybe helpful, Absolutely not. It completely skips over the
fact that success isn't just some linear climb powered by
grit and good vibes. Real growth, real progress.
It's messy, it's slow, it's influenced by privilege, health,
(24:07):
timing, luck, support systems, and occasionally whether Mercury
is in retrograde. Wanting something is a part of
the equation, sure, but it's notthe whole damn math problem.
The truth is clinging to this just want it more mindset sets
(24:30):
people up for self blame, burnout, and straight up
disappointment. It convinces them that they're
failing because they're not trying hard enough, when the
reality is that they're human beings navigating complicated
terrain, not robots powered by caffeine and ambition alone.
(24:53):
So instead of measuring your worth by how hard you hustle or
how badly you want something, try this build in rest.
Ask for help, make a plan, pivotwhen needed, and give yourself
(25:17):
grace when it doesn't all click right away.
Because true motivation isn't about punishing yourself into
progress, it's about working with your humanity, not against
it. So here's the thing.
If wanting it more were enough, we'd all be enlightened
(25:43):
millionaires with six pack abs and flawless emotional
boundaries. Wanting something is step one,
but it's not the whole staircase.
Real change isn't powered by willpower alone.
(26:05):
It's built out of 1000 unglamorous choices that no one
claps for. It's setting boundaries that
make people uncomfortable. It's getting out of bed on the
days when your brain feels like a swamp.
It's picking the quiet, boring work of healing over the
(26:27):
dopamine head of chaos. Wanting it more sounds
motivational until it becomes a weapon, a way to shame people
for struggling, or a way to gaslight yourself into thinking
your effort doesn't count until it's visible.
(26:48):
The truth is, sometimes the mostradical thing you can do is want
less. Want less perfection?
Want less approval? Want less of the fantasy version
(27:08):
of yourself and start working with the messy, miraculous human
you actually are. So if no one's told you lately,
you don't need to want it more. You need to meet yourself where
(27:32):
you are and take one honest, doable step forward.
Not because it looks impressive,but because it's real.
Thanks for hanging out with me today.
If this episode hit a nerve or maybe helped loosen one, share
(27:58):
it with someone who might need to hear it too.
You can find Shrink Wrapped wherever you listen to podcasts
or follow along on socials for more irreverent takes on the
therapy world, healing, and the general chaos of being human.
And remember, you are not behind, you're not broken, and
(28:21):
you're not lazy. You're just learning how to live
without the guilt trip disguisedas motivation.
I'll see you next week when we talk about the delightful little
thief of joy known as burnout.
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