May 28, 2025 • 34 mins
Ever found yourself starting Monday with green juice only to end Friday face-first in pizza, wondering what went wrong? The problem isn't you—it's the toxic perfection mindset that's sabotaging your results.
Welcome to a no-BS conversation about why most healthy eating plans fail and what actually works for real people with real lives. We're throwing out the all-or-nothing approach and replacing it with something revolutionary: sustainable habits that don't make you miserable.
The truth most "experts" won't tell you? You don't need to overhaul your entire life overnight. You don't need to cut carbs, count every macro, or prep every meal. What you need are small, smart choices you can actually stick with—not for a 30-day challenge, but for life.
Let's talk about why willpower is bullshit (and what works instead), how to make healthy eating boring enough to become automatic, and why one cookie doesn't ruin your progress any more than one salad creates it. The secret to lasting results isn't found in punishment plans or detoxes—it's in building systems that work even when motivation doesn't.
Whether you've been stuck in the cycle of starting over every Monday or you're just tired of diets that feel like punishment, this episode cuts through the noise to give you practical strategies for building habits that stick without losing your mind. Because healthy eating should fit into your life, not take it over.
Ready to stop overthinking and start seeing results? Then it's time to shut up, choose better, and transform your relationship with food—one small decision at a time.
Lose Weight Without Starving or Obsessing! Learn the simple, no-BS system that helped me lose 140 pounds naturally—no extreme diets, no endless gym hours, just real, sustainable fat loss for real people.
Join the Effortless Weight Loss Academy HERE
Please leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to your podcasts.
Send me questions or comments to Jonathan.Ressler@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Hey, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast
where we take all the confusing,contradictory and downright
useless diet advice floatingaround out there, light it on
fire and then replace it withsomething that actually makes
sense and, thatright, useless.
The light's floating around outthere, light it on fire and
then replace it with somethingthat actually makes sense and
that actually works.
If you've been following me,you know I have been gone for
the last two weeks.
I had some personal familybusiness that I'd take care of
(01:37):
and I had to do what was mostimportant and that was taking
care of that business.
But that actually made me think.
That made me think abouttoday's episode and what I
wanted to talk about.
So if you're new here, I wantto say welcome.
If you've been here before, youalready know what's coming the
truth, with no sugarcoating,probably a few curse words that
your nutritionist woulddefinitely frown at.
(01:58):
But today I want to talk abouthealthy eating habits.
And no, I'm not talking aboutthe influencer-approved bullshit
where your fridge is likecolor-coded and you eat six
times a day out of a specialglass container and your grocery
bill looks like a car payment.
I'm talking about real habitsand we're also going to talk
about a couple other things andyou'll see why this makes sense,
that I was gone for two weeksand why this inspired this
(02:22):
episode.
So I want to talk about realhabits, the kind that real
people people with jobs and kidsand bills and stress and
cravings, and actual fuckinglives can build and keep without
losing their mind.
Because here's the deal Most ofwhat we've been told about
healthy eating is either wildlyunrealistic or completely
disconnected from real life.
(02:42):
You've got diet culturescreaming at you to eat clean or
cut carbs, avoid sugar fastuntil noon, track every morsel,
drink your weight in water andsomehow still make meals that
actually look like Pinterestboards, and people wonder why no
one can stick to anything formore than two weeks.
Let's be real If you're tryingto survive on chicken breasts,
(03:04):
steamed broccoli andmotivational quotes alone, of
course you're going to end upface first in a bag of Doritos
by Saturday night.
That's what happens when wechase perfection instead of
progress.
And, as you know, I've beenthere.
I've played the game.
I've done the extreme diets,the 30-day resets.
Let's cut everything fun andcall it wellness plans, and
(03:24):
every time it ends up prettymuch the same way I'm exhausted,
frustrated and right back towhere I started and, in most
cases, usually heavier than whenI started.
So in today's episode, we'regoing to throw that whole
perfection mindset away and talkabout how to build habits that
don't suck Habits you canactually stick with long enough
(03:46):
to see results not for a fewweeks, not until your high
school reunion you know thosebullshit goals but for life.
We're going to get into whymost people fail at building
habits, and I'm going to giveyou a hint it's not because you
suck, it's because your strategysucks.
How to start small withoutfeeling like you're not doing
enough, why healthy doesn't meanbeing miserable, and how to
(04:09):
make eating well a normal,automatic part of your day, like
brushing your teeth, I guesswith more protein, though.
So if you ever felt like you'reeither on a plan or completely
off the rails, if you everstarted monday with green juice
and end the friday night withpizza and self-loathing, this
episode is 100% for you, becauseit is not about shame and it's
(04:30):
not about guilt, and it'sdefinitely not about being
perfect.
It's about making better, small, smart choices more often and
building a life that feels good,not one that feels like
punishment.
So get ready.
It's time to stop overthinking,to stop overcomplicating shit
and start building real,sustainable, healthy eating
habits that can actually fitinto your life, not someone
(04:54):
else's life your life.
So let's just call this what itis.
Most people treat healthy eatinglike a hostage situation.
Like a hostage situation, theygo from eating whatever the fuck
they want to pizza, soda,random handfuls of cereal,
donuts, to suddenly decidingthat starting Monday, they're a
new person, a better person, aperson who eats nothing but
grilled chicken, steamedbroccoli and a sad little
(05:16):
container of quinoa that tasteslike shit soaked in regret.
So they think, okay, I'm gonnastart drinking water with lemon,
skip dessert and walk aroundwith a reusable water bottle
like it's a new appendage.
By Wednesday, they'rewhite-knuckling their way
through cravings.
By Thursday, they'refantasizing about bread like
it's a porno.
And by Friday night they'reface-deep in the pizza box
(05:38):
wondering what the fuck happenedagain.
And if that sounds familiar toyou, you're in the right place.
It sounds familiar to me.
I always say I've been on over100 diets and I succeeded on
them all, and then I ultimatelyfailed.
As you know, I've lost over 140pounds and kept it off for over
two years, doing small, smartchoices, by not beating myself
(06:00):
up, by not being perfect byknowing that I'm a fucking human
being.
And that's why most people failon everything else because they
go all in on habits that aren'trealistic, they're not
enjoyable and they're sure asshit not sustainable.
They make every single changeall at once, thinking they'll
willpower their way to a newbody.
You can't treat it like asprint, a detox, a 30-day
(06:21):
punishment camp.
You expect to get long-termresults from short-term
suffering.
It just doesn't work that way,sorry.
So let me make this painfullyclear for you If your healthy
habit makes you miserable, it'snot sustainable, it's fucking
stupid.
And before anybody comes at mewith that bullshit no pain, no
gain.
I'm not saying the changeshould be completely effortless,
(06:43):
no gain.
I'm not saying the changeshould be completely effortless.
I'm saying it should be doableevery day without losing your
fucking mind in the process.
Look, I get it.
It's easy to get caught up inthe trap of thinking healthy
eating has to be extreme, andwe've been conditioned by social
media and the diet culture tobelieve that we're not suffering
.
We're not doing it right.
Guilty as charged, I mean Iused to believe that I suffered
(07:05):
through suffering.
We're not doing it right.
I'm guilty as charged.
I mean I used to believe that.
I suffered through hundreds ofdiets.
We think that we have to cutcarbs or count every macro, prep
every meal, skip happy hour,apple cider vinegar, avoid fruit
, track every calorie, and thenwe have to have the willpower of
a buddhist stay on track.
But here's the truth that noone's telling you.
(07:25):
You don't need perfect habits,you need consistent ones.
You don't have to eat clean100% of the time, you don't have
to cook every meal from scratchand you don't have to live off
fucking green juice and air.
What you need to do is show upmost of the time and make better
, small, smart choices moreoften.
(07:45):
That's it.
That's what actually works.
Eating better doesn't meanoverhauling your life overnight.
It means making small, smartchoices that fit into your
schedule, into your budget and,honestly, your taste buds, so
you can actually stick with them.
It means learning how to eatlike a fucking grownup without
treating food like it's a moraltest.
(08:06):
Because here's what happenswhen you try to be perfect right
, you burn out for sure, thenyou binge, then you beat
yourself up, then you start overMonday and then you repeat that
cycle for months, for years,for your whole life, and the
cycle just goes on and on, allwhile you convince yourself that
you just don't have enoughdiscipline or willpower to lose
(08:28):
the weight.
But the truth is it's not you,it's the plan.
It's the toxic idea that healthyeating has to suck, that it has
to be boring, that it has to bebland, that it has to be
restrictive, that it meanssaying no to everything you
enjoy and white-knuckling yourway through life just to fit
into a smaller pair of pants.
Let me be the one to break thatbullshit for you.
(08:49):
Healthy eating should fit intoyour life, not take over your
life.
It should make you feel better,not worse.
It should give you energy andnot drain it.
And, yeah, it should stillleave room for pizza and wine,
chocolate, donuts and theoccasional greasy bacon, egg and
cheese sandwich when you'rehung over your question of your
life choices, the key is findingthe balance point where your
(09:12):
habits support your goalswithout turning your life into a
never-ending episode ofnutritional survivor.
You want to know what's real andwhat sustainable healthy eating
looks like.
It looks like consistency overchaos.
It looks like building habitsthat are so normal people barely
even notice them.
I said that when I started thisjourney of losing all this
(09:35):
weight, people didn't even knowI was on a diet.
I would just eat.
I wasn't meal prepping anddoing all kinds of crazy shit.
It looks like here.
I'll give you an example.
It looks like ordering grilledchicken instead of the fried one
, not because you have to, butbecause you want to feel better
later.
It's about choosing meals thatserve your goals most of the
time Hear that Most of the timesand also knowing that one meal
(09:59):
won't make or break you.
I get it.
That's not sexy, it's notflashy, it's not great for
Instagram, but it's the shitthat actually works.
And it works because it doesn'trely on willpower or perfection
.
It relies on systems,simplicity and choices you can
repeat without losing yourfucking mind.
So if your current version ofhealthy eating feels like
(10:19):
suffering, here's a newsflash.
That's not health.
That's a punishment plan indisguise.
So let it go.
Let's build something better.
Start small, start real andstart now.
And, for the love of carbs,stop trying to change everything
at once.
So let's talk about the changesthat actually stick.
(10:41):
Because, let's be honest, mostof you out here trying to build
your new healthy lifestyle likeit's a Netflix documentary
montage.
Day one, you clean out yourpantry.
Day two, you meal prep like acontestant on Top Chef.
On day three, you're postingyour green smoothie with a
motivational quote aboutdiscipline and by day five
you're in a fucking Chick-fil-Aline ordering fries with extra
(11:02):
sauce, wondering what the fuckhappened.
Chick-fil-a line ordering frieswith extra sauce.
Wondering what the fuckhappened.
And what happened is simple youwent too big, too fast.
You tried to do everything allat once.
You replace your old habitswith aspirations and not systems
.
Aspirations are fine, but theydon't get you through a
stressful Tuesday when your kidis melting down or your inbox
has 9,700 messages or youhaven't taken a piss in six
(11:25):
hours.
So let's flip the script.
Let's talk about the real secretto building healthy eating
habits.
It's simple.
It's small, stupid changes.
Yeah, I said it Small, stupidchanges.
Right, start stupid.
Small, so small it almost feelspointless.
Because that's how habits work,that's how they build, not with
grand gestures, but with small,repeatable actions that
(11:45):
compound over time.
You know what a good day onelooks like.
You want me to tell youHonestly Swapping your afternoon
soda for flavored water, addinga protein source to your
breakfast, eating one vegetabletoday, not five, just one.
Not eating dinner over the sinklike a fucking animal Guilty,
shout out to all of us who'vedone it.
And that's it.
(12:05):
That's the kind of stuff thatcreates actual momentum, because
, guess what?
You don't need to earn your wayinto health by suffering.
You don't need to overhaul yourentire personality.
You just need to stop eatinglike a fucking freshman in
college with a vending machineaddiction and start to make
decisions that feel slightlybetter than yesterday's.
(12:26):
My whole thing is about small,smart choices, and small changes
are powerful because they'redoable, and doable means they're
repeatable, and repeatable iswhat gets you results.
Now, the problem is, we've beenbrainwashed to believe that
small equals weak.
We want results now.
We want dramatic before andafter photos.
We want the Instagram story tolose 15 pounds in two weeks, and
(12:48):
suddenly you love your life andwake up early and drink herbal
tea and feel peace radiatingfrom your pores.
Sorry, no, you're going to wakeup tomorrow and still crave
junk food and still hate yourfucking alarm clock and still
wonder why your jeans fit weirdafter laundry day.
That's the reality.
But you'll also have made onebetter decision, one small smart
(13:08):
choice, and then another, andthen another, and that's where
it starts.
So let me give you an example.
Let's say your normal lunch isa fast food combo meal.
Guilty, I've done it.
I did it for years.
That's fine.
You don't need to switch thatinto a kale salad with grilled
salmon overnight.
Start by keeping the burger,but skip the fries.
Or keep the fries and add waterinstead of soda.
Just one change, one smallchange, one small small choice.
(13:31):
That's it.
Because those small tweaks,they're gateway habits.
They lead to bigger changes,naturally, without forcing them.
Suddenly.
You're like, hey, you know, Idon't feel like shit after lunch
and that feeling, that'smotivation.
But You're like, hey, you know,I don't feel like shit after
lunch, and that feeling that'smotivation.
But it only shows up when youprove to yourself that you can
actually stick to something.
You don't need 37 new rules tofollow.
(13:51):
You need one small rule thatyou can follow for the next
seven days.
So try this I'll eat aprotein-rich breakfast every
weekday.
Boom, that's your habit.
Not eat clean, not avoid carbs,not be good.
Just eat a solid breakfast,protein.
That's how your system getsbuilt.
(14:11):
But remember, you're notchasing a temporary result,
you're building a foundation.
I get it.
Big changes look sexy in theory, but they crumble fast when
real life slaps you in the face.
Small changes, they're kind ofstealthy.
They slip into your routine andbecome second nature and one
day you wake up and realizeyou're living like a healthy
(14:31):
person, not because you forcedit, but because you became it.
I always use the example of meeating overnight oats every
morning for breakfast.
It was just what I did.
I Made them the night before.
I'm not a meal prepper, but Imade them the night before
because they take that much time.
They take about 15 seconds tomake and then you have to soak
them overnight.
I never thought that I wouldever eat something like that and
(14:54):
now it's what I eat every dayand I love it.
It just happened.
It wasn't like I said.
I'm going to eat overnight oatsfrom now on.
No, I just.
I had them one day and I said,all right, I'm going to have
another day and before you knowit, that was a healthy habit
that I built.
So if you're still out heretrying to do a 21-day detox or
track every macro or cut outanything that's fun, eat celery
like it's your full-time job,stop it.
(15:15):
You don't need to do more, youneed to do less, but you need to
do it better.
So repeatable beats, impressiveSimple beats, extreme and small
smart choices those littlechanges beat the shit out of
doing nothing because your planis too overwhelming.
You want to build healthyeating habits for the long haul?
(15:36):
Then start like someone who'sactually trying to win the long
game.
One decision at a time, onehabit at a time.
And if your changes feel tooeasy to matter, good, that means
you're finally doing it right.
Now.
You know I'm all about mindset,so your mindset matters more
than your meal plan.
So let's talk a little bitabout mindset, because here's
(15:58):
the cold hard truth you can havethe best meal plan in the world
and the most optimized macrosplit in a fridge full of
perfectly prepped food and stillfuck yourself over if your
brain isn't on board.
Most people don't fail becausethey don't know what to eat.
Everybody knows what to eat.
They fail because they can'tstop beating themselves up every
time they're not perfect.
(16:18):
And that toxic little mentalloop that's what kills momentum
faster than a two-for-one donutspecial.
You know I'm a donut guy, so letme put it this way If you eat
one slice of pizza and yourfirst thought is, oh, I blew it,
I suck.
I might as well eat the wholebox and start over Monday.
You don't need a new diet, youneed a mindset overhaul, because
(16:40):
the real problem is not thepizza, it's the shame, the
spiral that you put yourself in,that you attach to the pizza.
So we get real for a second.
Like when did we start actinglike?
Food is a moral issue.
Pizza is bad, kale is good,sugar is evil, avocados are
virtue.
Come on, you're not a good orbad person based on what's on
(17:00):
your plate.
You didn't fail because you hada cookie.
You didn't ruin your progressbecause you had a cookie.
You didn't ruin your progressbecause you had a drink.
You're not off track becauseyou had a life.
Here's like a littlerevolutionary thought for you.
You're allowed to be a fuckinghuman being who enjoys food.
What screws people up isn't thetreat, it's the all or nothing
thinking that follows it.
You know what else killsconsistency the belief that
(17:21):
you're not perfect, that you'refailing.
You're not a robot.
You're not a machine.
You have cravings, you havestress, you have schedules,
emotions.
Sometimes you just want afucking slice of cake.
That doesn't mean you're broken.
It means you're normal.
But somehow, along the way, thediet culture made you believe
that any deviation from cleaneating means you're weak, you're
lazy, you're undisciplined orwhatever other lie you repeated
(17:43):
yourself in the mirror, godknows.
I told myself a hundred liesabout why I couldn't do it, why
I was weak.
But let's kill that noise here,because this is where people
sabotage themselves Not in foodchoices, but in the mindset that
says those food choices definetheir worth.
They start eating healthy froma place of punishment Guilty.
(18:05):
They try to shrink their bodies.
Place of punishment, guilty.
They try to shrink their bodiesout of shame Guilty.
They restrict because theythink they don't deserve
satisfaction.
Well, here's a little fuckingnewsflash.
Punishment does not createsustainable change.
You can't hate yourself into ahealthier version of you.
You can't build good habits ona foundation of guilt.
You have to come at this from aplace of respect Respect your
(18:29):
time, your energy, your healthand respect your life.
Healthy eating is not aboutcontrol, it's about care.
It's about fueling your body soyou can show up in your life
like a badass, not.
So you can hit some arbitrarynumber on a scale that still
makes you feel miserable inside,because if you lose 30 pounds,
you still hate yourself in themirror.
What the fuck did you win?
You didn't win anything.
Let me say that again If youlose weight but don't fix your
(18:52):
mindset, nothing is going tochange.
So you're probably asking howdo you actually shift the mental
game?
Well, here's a couple thingsthat you can start with.
First, to stop labeling food asgood or bad.
Food has calories, not morality.
A salad doesn't make you asaint and a donut does not make
you a sinner.
Okay, drop the guiltimmediately.
(19:13):
If you had a cookie, cool,great, fuck it.
Who cares?
Move on, don't let one decisionhijack your entire week.
Focus on addition, right, notrestriction.
That sounds crazy in this dietworld.
But focus on addition, notrestriction.
Add more protein, add morewater, add more fiber, add more
meals that make you feel good.
Crowding out junk food worksbetter than banning it.
(19:33):
I always told you I feed mysoul.
I fed my soul the whole way.
I still do.
I'll eat donut, I'll eatanything, but I don't let it
take over my life.
Take over my life.
And the fourth one, which isreally important is play the
long game.
You're not on or off a diet.
You're building a lifestyle Onemeal, one choice, one habit at
(19:54):
a time.
And then the last one is talkto yourself like someone you
actually like, right?
If your best friend had one badday of eating, would you call
him or her a failure?
No, then stop fucking doingthat shit to yourself.
The mindset that works is theone built on ownership, not
obsession.
We're talking about compassionhere, not control.
This isn't about lettingyourself off the hook.
It's about staying in thefucking game even when you're
(20:17):
not playing perfectly, becausepeople who win at this they're
not perfect, they're justconsistent and they don't quit
when it gets messy.
So if your internal dialoguesounds like a drill sergeant's
chirping at you, it's time towrite the script.
Start talking to yourself likesomeone worth showing up for,
because guess what you are?
(20:37):
I was.
I started showing up for myself.
All right, let's talk about howwe get tactical here, how we
actually do it.
We talked about why mosthealthy habits fail, how to
start small and how your mindsetmatters more than your macro.
But we need to answer thequestion.
Everyone's silently screaming,which is all right, cool, but
how do I actually do this?
(20:58):
How do you turn eating betterfrom a random burst of Monday
motivation?
Is it something that justhappens, without mental
breakdown, or a 45-minuteinternal debate over whether to
cook or order from Uber Eats?
Here's the real talk.
Right, willpower is bullshit.
Habits are everything.
And no.
Habits don't magically formbecause you want it enough.
They form when you build themintentionally with systems, not
(21:21):
just like good vibes.
Let me break it down a littlefurther for you.
So first is build into what youalready do.
The biggest mistake people makewhen they're building new habits
they try to bolt them ontotheir life, some kind of side
hustle.
You can't just say I'm going toeat healthier now and expect
your brain to say, oh, all right, cool, got it.
No, your brain is fucking lazy.
(21:43):
It loves routine, it lovesfamiliarity.
It doesn't want to work harderthan it has to.
So what do we do?
We sneak the new habit intosomething you already do.
It's called habit stacking andit works like magic.
So here's how it looks.
I don't know.
After I make my morning coffee,I'm going to drink a glass of
water.
After I put the kids to bed,I'm going to prep tomorrow's
lunch, if you're a meal prepper.
(22:03):
After I brush my teeth at night, I'm going to plan my meals for
the next day.
That's fine.
You're not creating a brand newmoment in your day, you're just
piggybacking off one thatalready exists.
That's how habits becomeautomatic.
The second thing you want to dois and you know this, but is
make healthier choices easier.
You know why most people don'tstick with healthy habits
(22:26):
Because they're inconvenient ashell.
Junk food is easier, takeout isfaster, the soda's right there.
So if you want to win this game, you have to rig it in your
favor.
Make the healthy choice theeasy choice.
Stock your fridge withgrab-and-go protein.
Chop up some veggies if youwant.
Have emergency snacks that youactually like I learned this
(22:47):
from the supermarket but put thefood you actually want to eat
At eye level.
Okay, the supermarket puts allthe bad the high margin, the bad
food for you at eye level andall the healthy shit is down low
.
So put the food you want to eatat eye level.
Hide the shit, the crap,because we can all say we're
going to empty out therefrigerator, but we all know
you're not.
So hide the shit that you don'twant to eat behind, like the
(23:09):
three things that you wouldnever reach for, make it a pain
in the ass.
Don't rely on willpower whenyou're tired, stressed, or
definitely not when you'rehangry.
Set up your environment so yourdefault decision is a good one.
Think of it like this If yourkitchen's a landmine of junk,
your habits don't stand a chance.
I get it.
You have kids.
It doesn't matter.
If your kitchen is a landmineof shit food, your habits don't
(23:32):
stand a chance.
The next thing is remove thedrama.
Okay, here's the pro tip thatnobody tells you Healthy eating
habits should be boring.
They shouldn't be motivational.
Not eating habits should beboring.
They shouldn't be motivational,not inspirational, not
Instagrammable, just boringautomatic.
I do this because it's what Ido.
(23:53):
That simple.
The goal is not to hypeyourself up every day.
That shit doesn't work and itdoesn't last.
The goal is to remove the dramafrom the decision.
So let's say you're trying toeat breakfast instead of
skipping it.
It shouldn't be like a10-minute debate about what's
healthy, what fits your macro,how many blueberries fuck that
it should be.
I eat the same two or threethings every weekday morning.
Done Decision fatigue killshabits, so don't create a plan
that makes you think 14 timesbefore noon.
(24:14):
Make the routine so predictablethat your brain stops noticing
you're even doing it that.
Going back to my overnight oatsthing that's just what I eat.
My brain just goes to that.
Next step is going to be atough one, or a great one, in my
opinion.
But lower the fucking bar, okay.
No, I said lower the bar.
I'll say it again forperfectionists Okay, lower the
(24:37):
fucking bar.
Trying to go from zero to mealprepping God in one weekend is
how you burn out and hate life.
Your first habit might be assmall as making one healthy swap
per meal, or cooking at hometwo nights a week, or packing
your lunch twice this week,drinking an extra glass of water
.
Whatever I get it, they feeltoo small to matter.
Right, good, that means they'rerealistic, and realistic equals
(25:01):
repeatable, and repeatableequals transformation.
So stop making your habits aperformance.
Make them something you canactually do on your worst day.
The next thing is I talk aboutthis all the time but track your
wins, not your perfection, yourwins.
If you want to feel like you'remaking progress.
Start keeping a score where itcounts, instead of assessing
(25:24):
over the scale or whether youhit every macro perfectly.
Track the days you followedyour habit, the times you
bounced back after making asmall bad choice, meals that you
actually enjoyed and supportyour goals, choices that felt
easier than they used to feel.
Progress is not just about whatshows up in the mirror.
It's about how often you'reshowing up for yourself, and
small wins build trust, andtrust builds momentum.
(25:48):
The bottom line here is systemsare so much greater than
willpower.
You're not lazy, you're notbroken.
You just need a system.
So stop making it harder thanit needs to be.
Pick one habit, tie it to aroutine, make it easy, make it
boring, track it and then repeat, repeat, repeat.
Because if it's not somethingyou do when you're busy, you're
tired, you're annoyed andcompletely over it, then it's
(26:10):
not a habit, it's just a phase,and phases don't change lives.
Habits do.
Success doesn't come fromsuperhuman willpower.
It comes from creating a lifewhere the default choices are
better choices, small, smartchoices.
Perfection we talked a littlebit about it, but I'm going to
(26:31):
talk a little bit more about it.
Perfection is a fucking lie.
Flexibility is the truth.
Flexibility wins.
You will fuck up, get over it,you'll eat the cookie, you'll
have the pizza and guess what?
You're still on track.
The goal is in perfection.
It's consistency over time.
The people who succeed long termaren't the ones who eat
(26:52):
perfectly every day.
They're the ones who bounceback quickly when they don't.
One bad meal is not a failure.
One off day doesn't undo yourprogress.
You're not a robot.
You're not a machine.
You're not a robot.
You're not a machine.
You're a fucking human being.
So act like one, with somegrace and not guilt.
(27:12):
So look, if you've stuck withme this far, you're already
smarter than probably half thewellness gurus on Instagram and
the internet.
Now let's talk about the thingthat's silently wrecking more
weight loss efforts than carbs,sugar and even margaritas.
Right, perfection, that all ornothing, black and white.
I'm either crushing it or I'mtrash mindset.
Yeah, that's the real villainhere.
(27:34):
Let me say clearly perfectionis a lie.
It's a toxic fucking lie and itkeeps you stuck.
Because here's what perfectionlooks like in the real world.
You decide to eat clean.
Monday and Tuesday go great.
Wednesday you get slammed atwork, you miss a meal and end up
eating something off plan.
Then the thoughts creep in Ifucked up, I blew it, I already
messed the day up.
Might as well start again onMonday, and just like that, you
(27:56):
go from one small bad choice,one less than perfect decision,
to a five-day binge spiral overwhat A sandwich, a donut and
that's the exact kind ofself-sabotage perfection creates
, not because your choice wasbad, but because you believed it
had to be flawless or it wasn'tworth doing.
Guess what?
(28:16):
That's not discipline, that'sdysfunction.
Let's be adults here.
Your body does not need perfect, your body needs consistency.
So let me give it to youstraight here for a second.
The people who actually succeedat long-term weight loss, like
me.
They're not the mostdisciplined I'm certainly not.
They're not the most motivatedI'm certainly not.
(28:37):
And they're not the ones eatingair and tracking their fucking
spinach.
They're the ones who figuredout how to stay in the game,
even when life gets crazy.
Because here's another spoileralert Life will always get crazy
.
You're going to have stress,you're going to have birthdays,
you're going to have holidays,long work days and fuck it
(28:57):
moments.
The question really is what willyou do next?
Do you spiral into I'll startover next week, or do you make
the next meal a better one andkeep moving forward?
That's what flexibility lookslike.
It's the ability to adapt, toadjust, to correct your course,
not abandon ship every timethings don't go 100% as planned.
(29:17):
Here's the rule I teachstraight out of Shut Up and
Choose.
One bad decision is just adecision.
Two bad decisions in a rowthat's momentum.
And momentum works both ways.
If you slip up, fine, you'rehuman.
You don't just turn one offmeal into a weekend long
binge-a-thon, followed by ashitload of self-loathing.
(29:37):
And that's where real changehappens, in how you respond when
things aren't perfect.
Flexibility means you makebetter decisions more often,
even when things aren't perfect.
Flexibility means you makebetter decisions more often even
when things aren't ideal.
It means you can enjoy a sliceof cake at your kid's birthday
party, then get back to businessin the next meal without guilt,
without panic and withoutthinking you've ruined
(29:59):
everything.
Because here's the truth You'renever more than one meal away
from being right back on track.
That's it.
You don't need to spiral, youdon't need to punish yourself,
you don't need to start over.
You just need to keep going.
Let me give you, like a paint,a little picture for you.
Let's say you were drivingacross the country and got a
flat tire.
Would you A pull over and fixit and keep going, or, b slash
(30:22):
the other three tires, set thecar on fire and walk home in
shame, because that's whatyou're doing every time.
You mess up and throw the wholeplan out.
Seriously, fix the fucking tire, keep driving.
Flexibility allows you tonavigate real life.
It keeps you in the game.
It helps you bounce back faster.
It's what actually leads toresults that last more than 10
minutes.
(30:42):
So if you've been stuck in thisperfect or nothing cycle,
listen, you don't need to beperfect.
You need to be consistent.
You need to be honest.
You need to stop quitting everytime things get inconvenient.
Build a lifestyle you can livewith on your worst day, not just
your best, because that's whatmakes it real.
Let go of the idea that one badmeal ruins your progress.
(31:04):
Let go of the idea that everyplan has to be executed
flawlessly and let go of theidea that starting over is the
answer.
You don't need another fuckingreset.
You need to shut up, take abreath, make a better choice and
keep moving forward.
That's how you build habits,that's how you build consistency
and that's how you build a bodyand a mindset that you're proud
(31:25):
of.
Flexibility isn't weakness,it's wisdom.
It's how you stay in this thingfor the rest of your life.
So that's pretty much it.
If any of this hit home for you.
Let's be real.
It probably did Do me a favor.
Share it with someone who'sstuck in the all or nothing
cycle, or send to your friendwho starts a new diet every
(31:45):
month.
They're just post and tag me.
So I know you're one of thesmart ones.
So that's really it.
It's all about being flexible,not being perfect, taking each
choice, each decision, onedecision at a time, and knowing
that if you make a mistake, youdidn't blow it.
And the way in case you'rewondering how this ties into me
missing the last two weeks is Icould have easily.
If I was in that mindset, Icould have been ah, fuck it, I
(32:08):
haven't done a podcast in twoweeks or three weeks, whatever
it was.
So fuck it, I'm not going to doit anymore.
No, I came back, right back,and I'm.
I'm here, I'm talking to youand I'm making it happen because
I know what happened over thelast two weeks with my family.
Stuff didn't derail my entireprogress of my podcast.
I've been doing it for a yearand a half two years.
It's having the grace to giveyourself the grace to know okay,
(32:32):
I messed up for the last twoweeks, or I messed up this last
meal, or I ate a donut, or I hadsome pizza, but I'm still going
to move forward because youknow what it's progress.
I'm not trying to be perfectand I can tell you I am far well
.
I probably don't need to tellyou this, but I am far from
perfect.
So that's it for this week.
That's it for this episode.
As you know, I have a book onAmazon called Shut Up and Choose
bestseller.
(32:52):
Tons of great reviews.
It chronicles my journey oflosing 140 pounds in a year or
so.
Because really I lost 125pounds in the first year and
then I just lost another 15.
The Because really I did lose125 pounds in the first year and
then I just lost another 15.
The book gets great reviews.
It's very easy to read.
You can read it in an hour.
You can get that on Amazon.
You can.
Also.
I have a video course called theEffortless Weight Loss Academy.
(33:12):
You can get that atlearnshutupandchoosecom.
Learnshutupandchoosecom.
It's 23 videos or so.
Each video is only five toseven minutes.
You can definitely watch it ina single day and that really
takes you through the mindsetand gets your head in the right
space.
Again, getting great reviews.
People love it and I hopefullywill.
(33:34):
If you need the help, you'll bethere too.
Again, that's it for today.
I don't know what else to say.
I'm happy to be back here onthe podcast.
I'm happy to share my thoughtswith you, share my I don't want
to say wisdom, because I don'tthink I'm that smart, but I
guess my experience with you.
You have the ability to do this.
You have the power to do it.
(33:55):
All you have to do is shut upand choose.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
You've been listening to ShutUp and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym and
(34:19):
guess what?
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Hey, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast
where we take all the confusing,contradictory and downright
useless diet advice floatingaround out there, light it on
fire and then replace it withsomething that actually makes
sense and, thatright, useless.
The light's floating around outthere, light it on fire and
then replace it with somethingthat actually makes sense and
that actually works.
If you've been following me,you know I have been gone for
the last two weeks.
I had some personal familybusiness that I'd take care of
(01:37):
and I had to do what was mostimportant and that was taking
care of that business.
But that actually made me think.
That made me think abouttoday's episode and what I
wanted to talk about.
So if you're new here, I wantto say welcome.
If you've been here before, youalready know what's coming the
truth, with no sugarcoating,probably a few curse words that
your nutritionist woulddefinitely frown at.
(01:58):
But today I want to talk abouthealthy eating habits.
And no, I'm not talking aboutthe influencer-approved bullshit
where your fridge is likecolor-coded and you eat six
times a day out of a specialglass container and your grocery
bill looks like a car payment.
I'm talking about real habitsand we're also going to talk
about a couple other things andyou'll see why this makes sense,
that I was gone for two weeksand why this inspired this
(02:22):
episode.
So I want to talk about realhabits, the kind that real
people people with jobs and kidsand bills and stress and
cravings, and actual fuckinglives can build and keep without
losing their mind.
Because here's the deal Most ofwhat we've been told about
healthy eating is either wildlyunrealistic or completely
disconnected from real life.
(02:42):
You've got diet culturescreaming at you to eat clean or
cut carbs, avoid sugar fastuntil noon, track every morsel,
drink your weight in water andsomehow still make meals that
actually look like Pinterestboards, and people wonder why no
one can stick to anything formore than two weeks.
Let's be real If you're tryingto survive on chicken breasts,
(03:04):
steamed broccoli andmotivational quotes alone, of
course you're going to end upface first in a bag of Doritos
by Saturday night.
That's what happens when wechase perfection instead of
progress.
And, as you know, I've beenthere.
I've played the game.
I've done the extreme diets,the 30-day resets.
Let's cut everything fun andcall it wellness plans, and
(03:24):
every time it ends up prettymuch the same way I'm exhausted,
frustrated and right back towhere I started and, in most
cases, usually heavier than whenI started.
So in today's episode, we'regoing to throw that whole
perfection mindset away and talkabout how to build habits that
don't suck Habits you canactually stick with long enough
(03:46):
to see results not for a fewweeks, not until your high
school reunion you know thosebullshit goals but for life.
We're going to get into whymost people fail at building
habits, and I'm going to giveyou a hint it's not because you
suck, it's because your strategysucks.
How to start small withoutfeeling like you're not doing
enough, why healthy doesn't meanbeing miserable, and how to
(04:09):
make eating well a normal,automatic part of your day, like
brushing your teeth, I guesswith more protein, though.
So if you ever felt like you'reeither on a plan or completely
off the rails, if you everstarted monday with green juice
and end the friday night withpizza and self-loathing, this
episode is 100% for you, becauseit is not about shame and it's
(04:30):
not about guilt, and it'sdefinitely not about being
perfect.
It's about making better, small, smart choices more often and
building a life that feels good,not one that feels like
punishment.
So get ready.
It's time to stop overthinking,to stop overcomplicating shit
and start building real,sustainable, healthy eating
habits that can actually fitinto your life, not someone
(04:54):
else's life your life.
So let's just call this what itis.
Most people treat healthy eatinglike a hostage situation.
Like a hostage situation, theygo from eating whatever the fuck
they want to pizza, soda,random handfuls of cereal,
donuts, to suddenly decidingthat starting Monday, they're a
new person, a better person, aperson who eats nothing but
grilled chicken, steamedbroccoli and a sad little
(05:16):
container of quinoa that tasteslike shit soaked in regret.
So they think, okay, I'm gonnastart drinking water with lemon,
skip dessert and walk aroundwith a reusable water bottle
like it's a new appendage.
By Wednesday, they'rewhite-knuckling their way
through cravings.
By Thursday, they'refantasizing about bread like
it's a porno.
And by Friday night they'reface-deep in the pizza box
(05:38):
wondering what the fuck happenedagain.
And if that sounds familiar toyou, you're in the right place.
It sounds familiar to me.
I always say I've been on over100 diets and I succeeded on
them all, and then I ultimatelyfailed.
As you know, I've lost over 140pounds and kept it off for over
two years, doing small, smartchoices, by not beating myself
(06:00):
up, by not being perfect byknowing that I'm a fucking human
being.
And that's why most people failon everything else because they
go all in on habits that aren'trealistic, they're not
enjoyable and they're sure asshit not sustainable.
They make every single changeall at once, thinking they'll
willpower their way to a newbody.
You can't treat it like asprint, a detox, a 30-day
(06:21):
punishment camp.
You expect to get long-termresults from short-term
suffering.
It just doesn't work that way,sorry.
So let me make this painfullyclear for you If your healthy
habit makes you miserable, it'snot sustainable, it's fucking
stupid.
And before anybody comes at mewith that bullshit no pain, no
gain.
I'm not saying the changeshould be completely effortless,
(06:43):
no gain.
I'm not saying the changeshould be completely effortless.
I'm saying it should be doableevery day without losing your
fucking mind in the process.
Look, I get it.
It's easy to get caught up inthe trap of thinking healthy
eating has to be extreme, andwe've been conditioned by social
media and the diet culture tobelieve that we're not suffering
.
We're not doing it right.
Guilty as charged, I mean Iused to believe that I suffered
(07:05):
through suffering.
We're not doing it right.
I'm guilty as charged.
I mean I used to believe that.
I suffered through hundreds ofdiets.
We think that we have to cutcarbs or count every macro, prep
every meal, skip happy hour,apple cider vinegar, avoid fruit
, track every calorie, and thenwe have to have the willpower of
a buddhist stay on track.
But here's the truth that noone's telling you.
(07:25):
You don't need perfect habits,you need consistent ones.
You don't have to eat clean100% of the time, you don't have
to cook every meal from scratchand you don't have to live off
fucking green juice and air.
What you need to do is show upmost of the time and make better
, small, smart choices moreoften.
(07:45):
That's it.
That's what actually works.
Eating better doesn't meanoverhauling your life overnight.
It means making small, smartchoices that fit into your
schedule, into your budget and,honestly, your taste buds, so
you can actually stick with them.
It means learning how to eatlike a fucking grownup without
treating food like it's a moraltest.
(08:06):
Because here's what happenswhen you try to be perfect right
, you burn out for sure, thenyou binge, then you beat
yourself up, then you start overMonday and then you repeat that
cycle for months, for years,for your whole life, and the
cycle just goes on and on, allwhile you convince yourself that
you just don't have enoughdiscipline or willpower to lose
(08:28):
the weight.
But the truth is it's not you,it's the plan.
It's the toxic idea that healthyeating has to suck, that it has
to be boring, that it has to bebland, that it has to be
restrictive, that it meanssaying no to everything you
enjoy and white-knuckling yourway through life just to fit
into a smaller pair of pants.
Let me be the one to break thatbullshit for you.
(08:49):
Healthy eating should fit intoyour life, not take over your
life.
It should make you feel better,not worse.
It should give you energy andnot drain it.
And, yeah, it should stillleave room for pizza and wine,
chocolate, donuts and theoccasional greasy bacon, egg and
cheese sandwich when you'rehung over your question of your
life choices, the key is findingthe balance point where your
(09:12):
habits support your goalswithout turning your life into a
never-ending episode ofnutritional survivor.
You want to know what's real andwhat sustainable healthy eating
looks like.
It looks like consistency overchaos.
It looks like building habitsthat are so normal people barely
even notice them.
I said that when I started thisjourney of losing all this
(09:35):
weight, people didn't even knowI was on a diet.
I would just eat.
I wasn't meal prepping anddoing all kinds of crazy shit.
It looks like here.
I'll give you an example.
It looks like ordering grilledchicken instead of the fried one
, not because you have to, butbecause you want to feel better
later.
It's about choosing meals thatserve your goals most of the
time Hear that Most of the timesand also knowing that one meal
(09:59):
won't make or break you.
I get it.
That's not sexy, it's notflashy, it's not great for
Instagram, but it's the shitthat actually works.
And it works because it doesn'trely on willpower or perfection
.
It relies on systems,simplicity and choices you can
repeat without losing yourfucking mind.
So if your current version ofhealthy eating feels like
(10:19):
suffering, here's a newsflash.
That's not health.
That's a punishment plan indisguise.
So let it go.
Let's build something better.
Start small, start real andstart now.
And, for the love of carbs,stop trying to change everything
at once.
So let's talk about the changesthat actually stick.
(10:41):
Because, let's be honest, mostof you out here trying to build
your new healthy lifestyle likeit's a Netflix documentary
montage.
Day one, you clean out yourpantry.
Day two, you meal prep like acontestant on Top Chef.
On day three, you're postingyour green smoothie with a
motivational quote aboutdiscipline and by day five
you're in a fucking Chick-fil-Aline ordering fries with extra
(11:02):
sauce, wondering what the fuckhappened.
Chick-fil-a line ordering frieswith extra sauce.
Wondering what the fuckhappened.
And what happened is simple youwent too big, too fast.
You tried to do everything allat once.
You replace your old habitswith aspirations and not systems
.
Aspirations are fine, but theydon't get you through a
stressful Tuesday when your kidis melting down or your inbox
has 9,700 messages or youhaven't taken a piss in six
(11:25):
hours.
So let's flip the script.
Let's talk about the real secretto building healthy eating
habits.
It's simple.
It's small, stupid changes.
Yeah, I said it Small, stupidchanges.
Right, start stupid.
Small, so small it almost feelspointless.
Because that's how habits work,that's how they build, not with
grand gestures, but with small,repeatable actions that
(11:45):
compound over time.
You know what a good day onelooks like.
You want me to tell youHonestly Swapping your afternoon
soda for flavored water, addinga protein source to your
breakfast, eating one vegetabletoday, not five, just one.
Not eating dinner over the sinklike a fucking animal Guilty,
shout out to all of us who'vedone it.
And that's it.
(12:05):
That's the kind of stuff thatcreates actual momentum, because
, guess what?
You don't need to earn your wayinto health by suffering.
You don't need to overhaul yourentire personality.
You just need to stop eatinglike a fucking freshman in
college with a vending machineaddiction and start to make
decisions that feel slightlybetter than yesterday's.
(12:26):
My whole thing is about small,smart choices, and small changes
are powerful because they'redoable, and doable means they're
repeatable, and repeatable iswhat gets you results.
Now, the problem is, we've beenbrainwashed to believe that
small equals weak.
We want results now.
We want dramatic before andafter photos.
We want the Instagram story tolose 15 pounds in two weeks, and
(12:48):
suddenly you love your life andwake up early and drink herbal
tea and feel peace radiatingfrom your pores.
Sorry, no, you're going to wakeup tomorrow and still crave
junk food and still hate yourfucking alarm clock and still
wonder why your jeans fit weirdafter laundry day.
That's the reality.
But you'll also have made onebetter decision, one small smart
(13:08):
choice, and then another, andthen another, and that's where
it starts.
So let me give you an example.
Let's say your normal lunch isa fast food combo meal.
Guilty, I've done it.
I did it for years.
That's fine.
You don't need to switch thatinto a kale salad with grilled
salmon overnight.
Start by keeping the burger,but skip the fries.
Or keep the fries and add waterinstead of soda.
Just one change, one smallchange, one small small choice.
(13:31):
That's it.
Because those small tweaks,they're gateway habits.
They lead to bigger changes,naturally, without forcing them.
Suddenly.
You're like, hey, you know, Idon't feel like shit after lunch
and that feeling, that'smotivation.
But You're like, hey, you know,I don't feel like shit after
lunch, and that feeling that'smotivation.
But it only shows up when youprove to yourself that you can
actually stick to something.
You don't need 37 new rules tofollow.
(13:51):
You need one small rule thatyou can follow for the next
seven days.
So try this I'll eat aprotein-rich breakfast every
weekday.
Boom, that's your habit.
Not eat clean, not avoid carbs,not be good.
Just eat a solid breakfast,protein.
That's how your system getsbuilt.
(14:11):
But remember, you're notchasing a temporary result,
you're building a foundation.
I get it.
Big changes look sexy in theory, but they crumble fast when
real life slaps you in the face.
Small changes, they're kind ofstealthy.
They slip into your routine andbecome second nature and one
day you wake up and realizeyou're living like a healthy
(14:31):
person, not because you forcedit, but because you became it.
I always use the example of meeating overnight oats every
morning for breakfast.
It was just what I did.
I Made them the night before.
I'm not a meal prepper, but Imade them the night before
because they take that much time.
They take about 15 seconds tomake and then you have to soak
them overnight.
I never thought that I wouldever eat something like that and
(14:54):
now it's what I eat every dayand I love it.
It just happened.
It wasn't like I said.
I'm going to eat overnight oatsfrom now on.
No, I just.
I had them one day and I said,all right, I'm going to have
another day and before you knowit, that was a healthy habit
that I built.
So if you're still out heretrying to do a 21-day detox or
track every macro or cut outanything that's fun, eat celery
like it's your full-time job,stop it.
(15:15):
You don't need to do more, youneed to do less, but you need to
do it better.
So repeatable beats, impressiveSimple beats, extreme and small
smart choices those littlechanges beat the shit out of
doing nothing because your planis too overwhelming.
You want to build healthyeating habits for the long haul?
(15:36):
Then start like someone who'sactually trying to win the long
game.
One decision at a time, onehabit at a time.
And if your changes feel tooeasy to matter, good, that means
you're finally doing it right.
Now.
You know I'm all about mindset,so your mindset matters more
than your meal plan.
So let's talk a little bitabout mindset, because here's
(15:58):
the cold hard truth you can havethe best meal plan in the world
and the most optimized macrosplit in a fridge full of
perfectly prepped food and stillfuck yourself over if your
brain isn't on board.
Most people don't fail becausethey don't know what to eat.
Everybody knows what to eat.
They fail because they can'tstop beating themselves up every
time they're not perfect.
(16:18):
And that toxic little mentalloop that's what kills momentum
faster than a two-for-one donutspecial.
You know I'm a donut guy, so letme put it this way If you eat
one slice of pizza and yourfirst thought is, oh, I blew it,
I suck.
I might as well eat the wholebox and start over Monday.
You don't need a new diet, youneed a mindset overhaul, because
(16:40):
the real problem is not thepizza, it's the shame, the
spiral that you put yourself in,that you attach to the pizza.
So we get real for a second.
Like when did we start actinglike?
Food is a moral issue.
Pizza is bad, kale is good,sugar is evil, avocados are
virtue.
Come on, you're not a good orbad person based on what's on
(17:00):
your plate.
You didn't fail because you hada cookie.
You didn't ruin your progressbecause you had a cookie.
You didn't ruin your progressbecause you had a drink.
You're not off track becauseyou had a life.
Here's like a littlerevolutionary thought for you.
You're allowed to be a fuckinghuman being who enjoys food.
What screws people up isn't thetreat, it's the all or nothing
thinking that follows it.
You know what else killsconsistency the belief that
(17:21):
you're not perfect, that you'refailing.
You're not a robot.
You're not a machine.
You have cravings, you havestress, you have schedules,
emotions.
Sometimes you just want afucking slice of cake.
That doesn't mean you're broken.
It means you're normal.
But somehow, along the way, thediet culture made you believe
that any deviation from cleaneating means you're weak, you're
lazy, you're undisciplined orwhatever other lie you repeated
(17:43):
yourself in the mirror, godknows.
I told myself a hundred liesabout why I couldn't do it, why
I was weak.
But let's kill that noise here,because this is where people
sabotage themselves Not in foodchoices, but in the mindset that
says those food choices definetheir worth.
They start eating healthy froma place of punishment Guilty.
(18:05):
They try to shrink their bodies.
Place of punishment, guilty.
They try to shrink their bodiesout of shame Guilty.
They restrict because theythink they don't deserve
satisfaction.
Well, here's a little fuckingnewsflash.
Punishment does not createsustainable change.
You can't hate yourself into ahealthier version of you.
You can't build good habits ona foundation of guilt.
You have to come at this from aplace of respect Respect your
(18:29):
time, your energy, your healthand respect your life.
Healthy eating is not aboutcontrol, it's about care.
It's about fueling your body soyou can show up in your life
like a badass, not.
So you can hit some arbitrarynumber on a scale that still
makes you feel miserable inside,because if you lose 30 pounds,
you still hate yourself in themirror.
What the fuck did you win?
You didn't win anything.
Let me say that again If youlose weight but don't fix your
(18:52):
mindset, nothing is going tochange.
So you're probably asking howdo you actually shift the mental
game?
Well, here's a couple thingsthat you can start with.
First, to stop labeling food asgood or bad.
Food has calories, not morality.
A salad doesn't make you asaint and a donut does not make
you a sinner.
Okay, drop the guiltimmediately.
(19:13):
If you had a cookie, cool,great, fuck it.
Who cares?
Move on, don't let one decisionhijack your entire week.
Focus on addition, right, notrestriction.
That sounds crazy in this dietworld.
But focus on addition, notrestriction.
Add more protein, add morewater, add more fiber, add more
meals that make you feel good.
Crowding out junk food worksbetter than banning it.
(19:33):
I always told you I feed mysoul.
I fed my soul the whole way.
I still do.
I'll eat donut, I'll eatanything, but I don't let it
take over my life.
Take over my life.
And the fourth one, which isreally important is play the
long game.
You're not on or off a diet.
You're building a lifestyle Onemeal, one choice, one habit at
(19:54):
a time.
And then the last one is talkto yourself like someone you
actually like, right?
If your best friend had one badday of eating, would you call
him or her a failure?
No, then stop fucking doingthat shit to yourself.
The mindset that works is theone built on ownership, not
obsession.
We're talking about compassionhere, not control.
This isn't about lettingyourself off the hook.
It's about staying in thefucking game even when you're
(20:17):
not playing perfectly, becausepeople who win at this they're
not perfect, they're justconsistent and they don't quit
when it gets messy.
So if your internal dialoguesounds like a drill sergeant's
chirping at you, it's time towrite the script.
Start talking to yourself likesomeone worth showing up for,
because guess what you are?
(20:37):
I was.
I started showing up for myself.
All right, let's talk about howwe get tactical here, how we
actually do it.
We talked about why mosthealthy habits fail, how to
start small and how your mindsetmatters more than your macro.
But we need to answer thequestion.
Everyone's silently screaming,which is all right, cool, but
how do I actually do this?
(20:58):
How do you turn eating betterfrom a random burst of Monday
motivation?
Is it something that justhappens, without mental
breakdown, or a 45-minuteinternal debate over whether to
cook or order from Uber Eats?
Here's the real talk.
Right, willpower is bullshit.
Habits are everything.
And no.
Habits don't magically formbecause you want it enough.
They form when you build themintentionally with systems, not
(21:21):
just like good vibes.
Let me break it down a littlefurther for you.
So first is build into what youalready do.
The biggest mistake people makewhen they're building new habits
they try to bolt them ontotheir life, some kind of side
hustle.
You can't just say I'm going toeat healthier now and expect
your brain to say, oh, all right, cool, got it.
No, your brain is fucking lazy.
(21:43):
It loves routine, it lovesfamiliarity.
It doesn't want to work harderthan it has to.
So what do we do?
We sneak the new habit intosomething you already do.
It's called habit stacking andit works like magic.
So here's how it looks.
I don't know.
After I make my morning coffee,I'm going to drink a glass of
water.
After I put the kids to bed,I'm going to prep tomorrow's
lunch, if you're a meal prepper.
(22:03):
After I brush my teeth at night, I'm going to plan my meals for
the next day.
That's fine.
You're not creating a brand newmoment in your day, you're just
piggybacking off one thatalready exists.
That's how habits becomeautomatic.
The second thing you want to dois and you know this, but is
make healthier choices easier.
You know why most people don'tstick with healthy habits
(22:26):
Because they're inconvenient ashell.
Junk food is easier, takeout isfaster, the soda's right there.
So if you want to win this game, you have to rig it in your
favor.
Make the healthy choice theeasy choice.
Stock your fridge withgrab-and-go protein.
Chop up some veggies if youwant.
Have emergency snacks that youactually like I learned this
(22:47):
from the supermarket but put thefood you actually want to eat
At eye level.
Okay, the supermarket puts allthe bad the high margin, the bad
food for you at eye level andall the healthy shit is down low
.
So put the food you want to eatat eye level.
Hide the shit, the crap,because we can all say we're
going to empty out therefrigerator, but we all know
you're not.
So hide the shit that you don'twant to eat behind, like the
(23:09):
three things that you wouldnever reach for, make it a pain
in the ass.
Don't rely on willpower whenyou're tired, stressed, or
definitely not when you'rehangry.
Set up your environment so yourdefault decision is a good one.
Think of it like this If yourkitchen's a landmine of junk,
your habits don't stand a chance.
I get it.
You have kids.
It doesn't matter.
If your kitchen is a landmineof shit food, your habits don't
(23:32):
stand a chance.
The next thing is remove thedrama.
Okay, here's the pro tip thatnobody tells you Healthy eating
habits should be boring.
They shouldn't be motivational.
Not eating habits should beboring.
They shouldn't be motivational,not inspirational, not
Instagrammable, just boringautomatic.
I do this because it's what Ido.
(23:53):
That simple.
The goal is not to hypeyourself up every day.
That shit doesn't work and itdoesn't last.
The goal is to remove the dramafrom the decision.
So let's say you're trying toeat breakfast instead of
skipping it.
It shouldn't be like a10-minute debate about what's
healthy, what fits your macro,how many blueberries fuck that
it should be.
I eat the same two or threethings every weekday morning.
Done Decision fatigue killshabits, so don't create a plan
that makes you think 14 timesbefore noon.
(24:14):
Make the routine so predictablethat your brain stops noticing
you're even doing it that.
Going back to my overnight oatsthing that's just what I eat.
My brain just goes to that.
Next step is going to be atough one, or a great one, in my
opinion.
But lower the fucking bar, okay.
No, I said lower the bar.
I'll say it again forperfectionists Okay, lower the
(24:37):
fucking bar.
Trying to go from zero to mealprepping God in one weekend is
how you burn out and hate life.
Your first habit might be assmall as making one healthy swap
per meal, or cooking at hometwo nights a week, or packing
your lunch twice this week,drinking an extra glass of water
.
Whatever I get it, they feeltoo small to matter.
Right, good, that means they'rerealistic, and realistic equals
(25:01):
repeatable, and repeatableequals transformation.
So stop making your habits aperformance.
Make them something you canactually do on your worst day.
The next thing is I talk aboutthis all the time but track your
wins, not your perfection, yourwins.
If you want to feel like you'remaking progress.
Start keeping a score where itcounts, instead of assessing
(25:24):
over the scale or whether youhit every macro perfectly.
Track the days you followedyour habit, the times you
bounced back after making asmall bad choice, meals that you
actually enjoyed and supportyour goals, choices that felt
easier than they used to feel.
Progress is not just about whatshows up in the mirror.
It's about how often you'reshowing up for yourself, and
small wins build trust, andtrust builds momentum.
(25:48):
The bottom line here is systemsare so much greater than
willpower.
You're not lazy, you're notbroken.
You just need a system.
So stop making it harder thanit needs to be.
Pick one habit, tie it to aroutine, make it easy, make it
boring, track it and then repeat, repeat, repeat.
Because if it's not somethingyou do when you're busy, you're
tired, you're annoyed andcompletely over it, then it's
(26:10):
not a habit, it's just a phase,and phases don't change lives.
Habits do.
Success doesn't come fromsuperhuman willpower.
It comes from creating a lifewhere the default choices are
better choices, small, smartchoices.
Perfection we talked a littlebit about it, but I'm going to
(26:31):
talk a little bit more about it.
Perfection is a fucking lie.
Flexibility is the truth.
Flexibility wins.
You will fuck up, get over it,you'll eat the cookie, you'll
have the pizza and guess what?
You're still on track.
The goal is in perfection.
It's consistency over time.
The people who succeed long termaren't the ones who eat
(26:52):
perfectly every day.
They're the ones who bounceback quickly when they don't.
One bad meal is not a failure.
One off day doesn't undo yourprogress.
You're not a robot.
You're not a machine.
You're not a robot.
You're not a machine.
You're a fucking human being.
So act like one, with somegrace and not guilt.
(27:12):
So look, if you've stuck withme this far, you're already
smarter than probably half thewellness gurus on Instagram and
the internet.
Now let's talk about the thingthat's silently wrecking more
weight loss efforts than carbs,sugar and even margaritas.
Right, perfection, that all ornothing, black and white.
I'm either crushing it or I'mtrash mindset.
Yeah, that's the real villainhere.
(27:34):
Let me say clearly perfectionis a lie.
It's a toxic fucking lie and itkeeps you stuck.
Because here's what perfectionlooks like in the real world.
You decide to eat clean.
Monday and Tuesday go great.
Wednesday you get slammed atwork, you miss a meal and end up
eating something off plan.
Then the thoughts creep in Ifucked up, I blew it, I already
messed the day up.
Might as well start again onMonday, and just like that, you
(27:56):
go from one small bad choice,one less than perfect decision,
to a five-day binge spiral overwhat A sandwich, a donut and
that's the exact kind ofself-sabotage perfection creates
, not because your choice wasbad, but because you believed it
had to be flawless or it wasn'tworth doing.
Guess what?
(28:16):
That's not discipline, that'sdysfunction.
Let's be adults here.
Your body does not need perfect, your body needs consistency.
So let me give it to youstraight here for a second.
The people who actually succeedat long-term weight loss, like
me.
They're not the mostdisciplined I'm certainly not.
They're not the most motivatedI'm certainly not.
(28:37):
And they're not the ones eatingair and tracking their fucking
spinach.
They're the ones who figuredout how to stay in the game,
even when life gets crazy.
Because here's another spoileralert Life will always get crazy
.
You're going to have stress,you're going to have birthdays,
you're going to have holidays,long work days and fuck it
(28:57):
moments.
The question really is what willyou do next?
Do you spiral into I'll startover next week, or do you make
the next meal a better one andkeep moving forward?
That's what flexibility lookslike.
It's the ability to adapt, toadjust, to correct your course,
not abandon ship every timethings don't go 100% as planned.
(29:17):
Here's the rule I teachstraight out of Shut Up and
Choose.
One bad decision is just adecision.
Two bad decisions in a rowthat's momentum.
And momentum works both ways.
If you slip up, fine, you'rehuman.
You don't just turn one offmeal into a weekend long
binge-a-thon, followed by ashitload of self-loathing.
(29:37):
And that's where real changehappens, in how you respond when
things aren't perfect.
Flexibility means you makebetter decisions more often,
even when things aren't perfect.
Flexibility means you makebetter decisions more often even
when things aren't ideal.
It means you can enjoy a sliceof cake at your kid's birthday
party, then get back to businessin the next meal without guilt,
without panic and withoutthinking you've ruined
(29:59):
everything.
Because here's the truth You'renever more than one meal away
from being right back on track.
That's it.
You don't need to spiral, youdon't need to punish yourself,
you don't need to start over.
You just need to keep going.
Let me give you, like a paint,a little picture for you.
Let's say you were drivingacross the country and got a
flat tire.
Would you A pull over and fixit and keep going, or, b slash
(30:22):
the other three tires, set thecar on fire and walk home in
shame, because that's whatyou're doing every time.
You mess up and throw the wholeplan out.
Seriously, fix the fucking tire, keep driving.
Flexibility allows you tonavigate real life.
It keeps you in the game.
It helps you bounce back faster.
It's what actually leads toresults that last more than 10
minutes.
(30:42):
So if you've been stuck in thisperfect or nothing cycle,
listen, you don't need to beperfect.
You need to be consistent.
You need to be honest.
You need to stop quitting everytime things get inconvenient.
Build a lifestyle you can livewith on your worst day, not just
your best, because that's whatmakes it real.
Let go of the idea that one badmeal ruins your progress.
(31:04):
Let go of the idea that everyplan has to be executed
flawlessly and let go of theidea that starting over is the
answer.
You don't need another fuckingreset.
You need to shut up, take abreath, make a better choice and
keep moving forward.
That's how you build habits,that's how you build consistency
and that's how you build a bodyand a mindset that you're proud
(31:25):
of.
Flexibility isn't weakness,it's wisdom.
It's how you stay in this thingfor the rest of your life.
So that's pretty much it.
If any of this hit home for you.
Let's be real.
It probably did Do me a favor.
Share it with someone who'sstuck in the all or nothing
cycle, or send to your friendwho starts a new diet every
(31:45):
month.
They're just post and tag me.
So I know you're one of thesmart ones.
So that's really it.
It's all about being flexible,not being perfect, taking each
choice, each decision, onedecision at a time, and knowing
that if you make a mistake, youdidn't blow it.
And the way in case you'rewondering how this ties into me
missing the last two weeks is Icould have easily.
If I was in that mindset, Icould have been ah, fuck it, I
(32:08):
haven't done a podcast in twoweeks or three weeks, whatever
it was.
So fuck it, I'm not going to doit anymore.
No, I came back, right back,and I'm.
I'm here, I'm talking to youand I'm making it happen because
I know what happened over thelast two weeks with my family.
Stuff didn't derail my entireprogress of my podcast.
I've been doing it for a yearand a half two years.
It's having the grace to giveyourself the grace to know okay,
(32:32):
I messed up for the last twoweeks, or I messed up this last
meal, or I ate a donut, or I hadsome pizza, but I'm still going
to move forward because youknow what it's progress.
I'm not trying to be perfectand I can tell you I am far well
.
I probably don't need to tellyou this, but I am far from
perfect.
So that's it for this week.
That's it for this episode.
As you know, I have a book onAmazon called Shut Up and Choose
bestseller.
(32:52):
Tons of great reviews.
It chronicles my journey oflosing 140 pounds in a year or
so.
Because really I lost 125pounds in the first year and
then I just lost another 15.
The Because really I did lose125 pounds in the first year and
then I just lost another 15.
The book gets great reviews.
It's very easy to read.
You can read it in an hour.
You can get that on Amazon.
You can.
Also.
I have a video course called theEffortless Weight Loss Academy.
(33:12):
You can get that atlearnshutupandchoosecom.
Learnshutupandchoosecom.
It's 23 videos or so.
Each video is only five toseven minutes.
You can definitely watch it ina single day and that really
takes you through the mindsetand gets your head in the right
space.
Again, getting great reviews.
People love it and I hopefullywill.
(33:34):
If you need the help, you'll bethere too.
Again, that's it for today.
I don't know what else to say.
I'm happy to be back here onthe podcast.
I'm happy to share my thoughtswith you, share my I don't want
to say wisdom, because I don'tthink I'm that smart, but I
guess my experience with you.
You have the ability to do this.
You have the power to do it.
(33:55):
All you have to do is shut upand choose.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
You've been listening to ShutUp and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym and
(34:19):
guess what?
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
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