July 30, 2025 • 30 mins
Ever found yourself saying "I was doing so well and then just fell off"? Stop blaming yourself – your weight loss plan was probably designed to fail from the start.
The harsh truth is that willpower is a finite resource that gets depleted throughout your day. By the time you're staring at the fridge at 7 PM trying to choose between a healthy meal and ordering pizza, your mental battery is toast. The pizza wins every time – not because you're weak, but because your system is flawed.
Most weight loss plans only work when conditions are perfect: when your calendar is empty, your energy is high, and your motivation is peaking. But life doesn't work that way. Kids get sick, bosses drop deadlines, and sleep gets disrupted. When your plan depends entirely on willpower, it's just one bad day away from collapse.
What if you built a system that expects disruption instead? One that includes fallbacks, habit tiers, and a simple bounce-back protocol for when things go sideways? Successful people don't have fewer setbacks; they're just faster at recovering. They don't let one off-plan meal become a week-long binge. They practice bouncing back until it becomes automatic.
The key is shifting from an all-or-nothing mindset to building resilience. Create habit tiers for ideal days, busy days, and survival mode days. Install environmental anchors that make healthy choices easier. Change your language from "I fell off" to "I made one choice and I'm making a better one now." Because success isn't about never messing up – it's about knowing exactly how to bounce back when you do.
Ready to build a weight loss plan that works with your real life instead of against it? Grab my book "Shut Up and Choose" on Amazon or check out the Effortless Weight Loss Academy at learnshutupandchoose.com to learn the mental strategies that helped me lose 140 pounds and keep it off for over two years.
Lose Weight Without Starving or Obsessing! Learn the simple, no-BS system that helped me lose 140 pounds naturally—no extreme diets, no endless gym hours, just real, sustainable fat loss for real people.
Join the Effortless Weight Loss Academy HERE
Please leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to your podcasts.
Send me questions or comments to Jonathan.Ressler@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast, where
we cut the noise and thenonsense and all that bullshit
that the internet and all thoseInstagram and TikTok gurus have
thrown at you.
Telling you, one week, eat thisNext week hey, we were wrong.
Don't eat this.
Telling you, one week, eat thisNext week hey, we were wrong.
Don't eat this.
Eat that.
There's so much bullshit outthere and the truth of the
matter is losing weight is easy.
People get pissed when I say it, but losing weight is easy if
(01:34):
you know how to do it.
And it's not a diet and it'snot some strict plan.
It's the mental side of thegame.
It's knowing what triggers you.
It's knowing how to lose weight.
That makes it easier.
I talk to clients every day andone of my clients or one of my
new clients, I should say saidto me I was doing so well and
(01:55):
then I just fell off.
That probably sounds familiarto a lot of you.
Of course it does.
It's the most overused phrasein the weight loss world, right
up there with I just need to getback on track and I'll start
Monday.
Let me say this loud and clearyou didn't fall off.
Your plan just fell apartbecause it was built for a
fantasy version of your life,not the one that you're actually
(02:18):
living.
And that's what we're going totalk about today.
Again, this episode is not aboutshaming you for fucking up
again.
It's not about blaming you forbeing undisciplined or lazy.
It's about exposing the realreason.
You keep ending up in the samefrustrating cycle of on or off,
or good or bad, or in it or fuckit.
(02:38):
Now here's the truth.
You don't have a willpowerproblem.
You have a system designproblem.
The diet industry has fed youthis idea that success is about
trying harder, that if you justwoke up earlier or meal prep
better or found your why onemore time, you'd finally stick
(02:59):
with it.
I'm calling bullshit on that.
Trying harder doesn't fix abroken system.
It just burns you out faster.
So, if we look at it, whatactually causes people to fall
off?
So I'm going to break it downfor you.
First, your plan was too rigid.
It worked until the second.
Your kid got sick, or your bossdropped a last minute meeting
(03:20):
on you, or your energy dippedbelow 100.
Or maybe you had no backup.
You missed one workout or madeone off-plan meal choice and you
had no idea what to do next?
Another one is you made onemistake and it turned into a
weekend spiral.
I can't tell you how many timesthat's happened to me, happened
to people that I coach.
(03:40):
It's crazy.
So you made one mistake and itturns into a weekend spiral, all
because your mindset is wiredfor perfection or failure, and
no in between.
And if that sounds harsh, wellgood, because you're not here
for sugarcoated bullshit.
You're here because you want tostop playing the game of stop
start on off all in and then allout.
(04:01):
And I'm here to tell you youabsolutely can, but only if
you're willing to stop blamingyourself and start fixing the
actual problem the system thatcan't survive your real life.
That's the problem the systemthat can't survive your real
life.
In this episode, I'm going tobreak it down for you why
(04:22):
falling off isn't a failure.
It's a feedback looper.
In this episode, I'm going tobreak it down for you why
falling off isn't a failure.
It's a feedback looper how tospot your patterns and build,
bounce back into the plan andwhat you need to change.
So this is the last time youever have to start over.
So let's cut the noise, burnthe perfectionism and build
something that really sticks,even when life doesn't.
(04:43):
So the first thing I want totalk about is this thing called
the lie of willpower.
If trying harder worked, you'dbe there by now.
Let's just call this out fromthe jump.
Willpower is the biggest scamin the weight loss world.
It's right up there with detoxteas, waist trainers and those
annoying influencers who swearthey just love kale.
Now, bunch of fucking liars andscammers.
(05:05):
Willpower gets sold to you likeit's a character trait,
something you either have or youdon't, something you should
just tap into when things gethard, as if it's some magical
reserve of discipline hidingbehind your gallbladder.
I had my gallbladder out, so itwouldn't be hiding behind mine.
Maybe that's why I didn't havediscipline.
I don't know.
But here's the truth that mostcoaches, trainers and diet plans
(05:26):
won't say.
They just won't say it.
You don't need more willpower,you need fewer moments that
require it.
Willpower is a finite resource.
It runs out, it burns out, itgets weaker.
When you're tired, stressed,distracted, overwhelmed or
emotionally tapped out which,for being honest, that's like
(05:54):
Tuesday you know what I mean.
Every time you fall off, youtell yourself I just need to be
more disciplined.
Every time you say that, you'rereinforcing a false belief that
the only thing standing betweenyou and success is your own
moral weakness.
That's a bunch of shit.
You're not failing becauseyou're weak.
You're failing because you'retrying to brute force your way
through chaos instead ofbuilding a system that works
(06:14):
with it.
Let me tell you willpower willnever be to skip lunch and low
blood sugar.
It'll never be to stressful dayand zero emotional bandwidth.
It'll never be to an unplanneddinner invite.
It'll never beat an unplanneddinner invite.
It'll never beat a 6 am alarmafter only four hours of sleep.
And it'll never beat a pantryfull of cookies and no plan for
dinner.
(06:34):
But systems can.
Routines, defaults, automationthese are the tools that make
progress inevitable.
Not because you're stronger,but because you've removed the
decision fatigue that's beencrushing.
You See, what you think is adiscipline problem is actually a
design problem.
So let's say you're trying toeat better and your strategy
(06:55):
looks something like this Okay,rely on motivation in the
morning.
Hope you don't get too busy toeat lunch.
Promise yourself you'll figuresomething out for dinner.
Keep snacks in the house forthe kids.
Feel guilty for being temptedand try to white-knuckle your
way past cravings.
That's not a strategy, man.
That's a setup.
(07:15):
You've built a plan thatdemands super human focus every
single day.
Of course you're exhausted.
Of course you crack.
Of course you're exhausted.
Of course you crack.
Of course you binge watchNetflix with chips at 1030 while
Googling Eat healthy meals.
It's crazy.
You're not weak, you'reunprepared, because willpower is
(07:37):
not a plan, it's a temporarypatch.
So let's talk about decisionfatigue, because this is where
the willpower myth really fallsapart.
The average adult makes about35,000 decisions every day from
what time to wake up, what towear, how to respond to that
decision, nasty email everysingle one drains just a little
(08:00):
bit of the battery.
So by the time you're staringat the fridge at 6, 45 or 7
o'clock trying to choose betweena chicken salad and a frozen
pizza, you're done.
The battery is toast.
If you're depending onwillpower at that point, game
over.
The pizza wins every time.
But if your dinner is alreadyprepped, or or your go-to meal
(08:20):
is ready in five minutes, or youmade a Tuesday equals stir fry
night rule that requires zerothinking, then you don't need
willpower.
You just need to follow theblueprint and that's the shift.
It's making fewer decisions,not better ones.
High performers don't makebetter decisions, they make
fewer decisions.
They design their environment.
(08:41):
To reduce friction.
They set defaults, theyautomate what they can, so
they're not relying ondiscipline 24-7.
Here's, I guess, what that lookslike in the real world.
It's leaving your water bottleby your coffee machine.
It's packing the same threelunches on rotation, so lunch is
a non-decision.
It's having a walking meetinginstead of forcing yourself to
(09:03):
find time to work out.
It's grocery shopping with adefault list those items that
you must have in the house, andI'm not talking about the
cookies here.
It's meal prepping the boringmeals.
And when I say meal prepping, Idon't mean making it in fucking
Tupperware and storing it inthe kitchen.
I mean knowing that you havethe ingredients to make
something easy, and not makingthose Instagram meals.
(09:26):
Every one of those is a systemthat replaces the need for
willpower.
And guess what?
They work, because willpowerisn't scalable, but systems are.
So let's take a step back andthink about your life.
If you're running a business,raising kids, managing stress,
working long hours, you alreadyhave decision overload baked
(09:49):
into your day.
You don't need one more thingto manage.
You need things that manage you.
So if your entire weight lossplan requires you to be on your
game every single day, you don'thave a plan, you have a fantasy
.
You need something that workslike when you're tired, when
you're traveling, when you'rebored, when your mood sucks,
(10:10):
when your schedule blows up andwhen your motivation is just MIA
.
That's a system that'ssustainable and that's what wins
long term system that'ssustainable and that's what wins
long term.
If your progress depends onwillpower, your failure is just
one bad day away.
(10:30):
So stop blaming yourself forfalling off.
Start looking at the systemthat put you in a position where
willpower is the only thingholding it all together.
And if that system sucks, fixthe system, not yourself.
So I guess that brings me tothis next point, which is the
real culprit is fragile systems.
When your plan didn't fail, itcollapsed under pressure because
it was never built to handlelife.
(10:52):
So let's say that quiet partout loud.
It's not you, it's your plan.
I know the diet industrydoesn't want you to believe that
, but that's the fact.
It's not you, it's your plan.
I know the diet industrydoesn't want you to believe that
, but that's the fact.
It's not you, it's your plan.
If your strategy only works whenyour calendar's empty, your
energy is high and your fridgeis stocked and your motivation
is just fucking peaking.
Then you don't have a strategy.
(11:13):
You have a delicate house ofTupperware and dreams.
And the second your kid getssick, your boss drops a deadline
, your sleep gets fucked orsomeone invites you to dinner
boom, the whole thing goes up inflames faster than your
leftover chicken and broccoli.
Everybody wants to wait for theperfect conditions.
Here's what most people do, andthis probably sounds familiar
(11:36):
to you.
They wait for the mythicalperfect week to start.
They prep 15 meals, they writea schedule that requires Olympic
level discipline, they committo daily workouts, zero sugar,
full hydration, eight hours ofsleep and daily journaling for
like three days.
Then life does what it alwaysdoes it shows up messy,
unpredictable, loud and late.
(11:57):
The kids need to ride, the bossneeds a favor.
You sleep like shit.
You skip a workout, you chowdown on some fast food and
suddenly you're off.
But you didn't fall off.
You walked a tightrope andcalled it a sidewalk.
Your plan wasn't too ambitious,it was too brittle and a rigid
plan is a fragile plan.
(12:18):
Let's get that concept burnedinto your brain.
Rigid systems break.
Flexible systems, bend andbounce.
Rigid is things like this Ihave to work out at 6 am or the
whole day is ruined.
Or if I eat off plan once themeal is blown, or if I can't
prep all my meals, I might aswell order pizza when a flexible
(12:38):
plan says hey, if I miss myworkout, I'll walk at lunch, if
dinner's off plan, I'llprioritize water and a good
night's sleep, and if I don'thave my ideal meal prep, I'll
default to one of my backupoptions.
Do you see the difference there?
The first version shatters, thesecond life hits you, it just
falls to pieces.
The second version adapts, itsurvives, and survival is the
(13:02):
secret to consistency.
Another thing that should pissyou off is that fragile plans
teach obedience, not autonomy.
That's where the diet reallyfucks you over.
Most diet plans don't teach youhow to think.
They teach you how to follow.
As long as the conditions arecontrolled, eat this, not that I
mean.
We've all heard that Do theseworkouts.
(13:23):
Track everything to the gram.
Don't ask questions, just do it.
And when that structureinevitably gets interrupted,
you're left with zero skills toadapt.
You don't know how to pivot.
You don't know how to eat at arestaurant.
You don't know how to bounceback after a bad night of sleep
or an emotional day.
So what do you do?
You give up, not because you'reweak, but because your system
(13:44):
has no flexibility.
Your failure wasn't a lack ofwillpower, it was a lack of
design.
I love when people tell methey're off track, because I
tell them no, you're not offtrack, you just hit real life.
Let's define, or redefine, whatoff-track really means.
If your plan has no built-inwiggle room, if one unexpected
(14:06):
dinner invite or missed workoutmeans you start over Monday,
then the problem is not yourlack of discipline, it's that
your track is too damn narrow.
Your system should expectdisruption.
It should include fallbacks.
It should be built like atrampoline, not a tightrope,
because real progress doesn'tcome from the perfect weeks, it
(14:26):
comes from the messy ones, whereyou still show up anyway.
I would say to you build aresilient system that can take a
hit.
And here's what a resilientsystem looks like.
You have habit tiers.
You have your ideal, yourfunctional and your survival.
You don't ghost your habits,you just kind of scale them to
your day.
You have fallback meals, thosemeals that are easy to make,
(14:48):
they're quick to make andthey're always available.
So they're always available andthey're low effort options.
You have flexible workouts andfor me, I was never about going
to the gym.
But if the gym is out, you walk.
If you can't walk, you stretch.
If you can't stretch, youbreathe deeply and drink some
water.
It's that simple.
You have a mental resetquestion what can I do?
(15:08):
Right now that supports me justa little.
When your plan can adapt, youstop quitting, you stop starting
over and you stop living thatall-or-nothing mode and you
finally start to build momentum,the real kind.
So if your habits only workwhen life is calm, they're not
habits, they're hobbies.
Let that sink in, because thereal culprit behind your
(15:30):
inconsistency isn't you, it'sthe brittle, unrealistic,
diet-fueled system that wasnever built for your life in the
first place.
So what's next?
We're going to look at thepatterns that keep you stuck and
how to interrupt them beforethey become your identity.
Look, you don't need anotherdiet, you need to break the
(15:50):
fucking loop, right?
Let's not pretend that everyslip up is some isolated,
mysterious event.
You didn't randomly binge.
You didn't accidentally falloff.
You didn't suddenly wake up 40pounds heavier.
You followed a pattern.
You've been following thatpattern and unless you call it
out and break it, you'll keepliving it.
So this is not about discipline, it's about awareness, because
(16:13):
once you spot the pattern, youcan change it, but as long as
you keep calling it a problem,you'll keep playing the victim.
So let's talk about the patternloop.
Most people live in a cycle thatlooks something like this, and
we've all been there.
First you get motivated, youfeel fed up.
Maybe your pants don't fit,maybe you saw a picture of
yourself you didn't love.
(16:34):
Whatever it is, you decidethat's it, I'm changing.
Then you go all in.
You clean out the pantry, youbuy a plan, you swear carbs and
plan to work out six days a week.
You're fucking pumped man.
You're perfect for three days,maybe a week.
Then life happens.
Something throws you off astressful day, bad sleep, dinner
(16:57):
out, someone brings cookie towork and you slip.
Then we hit.
The next step is the shamespiral.
You tell yourself you blew it,so you eat more.
You skip the workout, you waitfor Monday, you avoid the
mirrors.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Guilty.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Avoid thinking.
You just ghost your habits andthen the next step is restart,
eventually Get fed up again andthe loop starts all over.
Sound familiar?
Yeah, that's not a willpowerissue.
That's a systematic identityloop and every time you repeat
it it gets stronger, becausepatterns repeat until you
(17:33):
interrupt them.
The problem is never just thebad day.
The problem is your reaction tothe bad day, the beliefs that
you attach to it.
Like I already fucked up, Imight as well keep going or I'll
be good tomorrow.
I just need a clean slate.
Those aren't neutral thoughts.
They're trigger phrases thatkeep the pattern alive.
So let's shift that.
Instead of judging behavior,start spotting the sequence.
(17:57):
Ask what's the chain of eventsthat always leads me to falling
off?
Maybe it starts with skippingbreakfast, or maybe it's
drinking too much coffee andforgetting to eat lunch.
Maybe it's working too late anddeciding to treat yourself
because you're exhausted, ormaybe it's not getting enough
sleep, craving sugar, skippingyour walk, benching at night.
You're not broken.
You're really predictable.
(18:18):
And the good news is andpredictable means fixable.
So you got to figure out whatidentity you want to have,
because identity reinforcementequals stuck behavior.
Here's where it gets deeper.
Your patterns reinforce youridentity.
I always mess up on theweekends.
Or I'm just an emotional eater,or I do great things until I
(18:39):
get stressed, or I can't havechips in the house.
I have no control.
I've said mine was I'mincapable of making good food
decisions.
If you say something enoughtimes, it becomes a belief, live
in enough times and it becomesyour identity.
At that point it's not just thehabit, it's who you think you
are, and when that identity getstriggered, guess what you do?
(19:00):
You behave in a way thatconfirms it.
So what do we do instead?
We build new loops confirms it.
So what do we do instead?
We build new loops, ones thatinterrupt the spiral and
reinforce a new identity.
So here's three practical toolsto start breaking your default
loop.
Number one is the patternjournal.
For three or five days, reallynotice what time you ate, how
(19:20):
you felt before and after andwhat triggered your off-track
behavior, whether it's anemotion, environment, so
whatever, you'll see the patternfast and once you see it, you
won't be able to unsee it.
The second thing is the nextbest choice rule.
When you slip, when you fuck up, immediately ask what would the
next best version of me doright now?
That might mean water, take awalk, a better choice for your
(19:44):
next meal.
It kills the all or nothingtrap right on the spot.
And then the third thing is youhave to have a mini bounce back
plan.
Build a default recovery ritualyou follow every time you slip
up.
So drink water, and drink waterASAP.
Move, take a walk for five or10 minutes and reset mentally.
Say something like I made achoice and I'm making a better
(20:08):
one now, and repeat thatthree-step bounce back every
time you fall into old patternsand eventually the bounce back
becomes your new baseline.
So you don't need morediscipline, you need fewer
repeats.
This isn't about avoiding themess.
It's about refusing to live onautopilot in a loop that you
were honestly never meant tostay in.
Your old patterns are loud,they're familiar, they're
(20:30):
comfortable, even when theyfucking suck.
But you're not here for comfort, you're here for change.
And change happens the momentyou stop saying I blew it again
and start asking what's the loopI'm stuck in and how do I break
it?
So now I'm going to tell youhow to build bounce back into
your system so you don't falloff.
You bounce forward.
(20:53):
So, I guess, build the bounceback in your.
You don't need a reset.
You need a recovery plan.
Welcome to the part where westop pretending your life is
ever going to be perfectly insync with your goals.
It won't be.
That's not negative, it's notdefeatist.
That's just reality.
And if your plan doesn'taccount for that, it's not a
plan, it's a setup.
(21:14):
So let me break that down foryou.
You don't fail because you makemistakes.
You fail because you don't knowwhat to do after the mistake.
You binge, then ghost yourhabits, you miss a workout, then
you're right off the week.
You're thrown off once andassume you have to start all
over.
And the truth is you don't.
(21:34):
You just need to build a bounceback into your system on
purpose and ahead of time.
So the bounce back principle ispretty simple.
The people who succeed long-termin weight loss don't have fewer
setbacks.
They're just faster atrecovering.
They don't spiral and they eatsomething off plan.
They don't have fewer setbacks.
They're just faster atrecovering.
They don't spiral and they eatsomething off the plan.
They don't use a missed workoutas an excuse to disappear for a
month and they don't let onedecision dictate their next
seven.
(21:55):
Why?
Because they've practicedbouncing back.
It's not motivation, it's notinspiration.
It's a skill and, like anyskill, it's trainable.
Consistency isn't about neverfucking up.
It's about not letting one badmoment become a bad week.
Your bounce back muscle getsstronger the more you use it.
(22:17):
So let me show you how to buildthat.
Number one is create a bounceback protocol.
This is your emergency plan,your fire drill.
You don't wait until thekitchen is inflamed to figure
out where the extinguisher is,and the same goes here.
Here's your simple three-stepprotocol.
Number one first thing ishydrate 12 to 16 ounces of water
(22:37):
Right now.
It signals a reset.
Number two is move.
Get five or 10 minutes of lightmovement.
Again, it could be walking,stretching, breathing, it
doesn't matter.
Just shift your energy.
And three is decide what's yournext best meal, your next best
small win, your next bestdecision, and do it.
This isn't about making up forit.
You're never going to make upfor it.
It's about getting back intomotion quickly.
(23:00):
The longer you wait to bounce,the heavier the shame gets.
Second thing you need to do ischange the language.
Words are power and most of thetime, your language is quietly
sabotaging you.
I blew it.
You hear me say this all thetime.
No, you didn't.
You made one choice.
I'll start over Monday.
Or you could restart right now.
(23:20):
Or I fell off, or maybe yourplan never had a bounce back
build, so here's your upgradethat didn't serve me.
But what does?
One choice off plan doesn'tundo the 27 that I got right, or
I know how to recover.
So I will Repeat those phrasesout loud, write them down,
tattoo them on your soul if youneed, but your brain listens to
(23:42):
what your mouth says, so feed itwisely.
The next thing is you have tobuild some habit tiers right,
because not all days are createdequal.
So stop expecting the sameperformance from yourself on
every single day.
Build your habits and tiersright.
So maybe your ideal day is afull workout, balanced meals,
(24:03):
hydration, journaling, steps,great.
But maybe on a busy day it's ashort walk, decent meals, water
and an early bedtime, and maybeon your shitty dumpster fire day
, hydration, deep breaths and noguilt.
If you can't hit your ideal day, you drop to the busy day.
If that's too much, you drop tothe dumpster fire day, but you
never drop to zero.
(24:23):
What that does is it removesthe all or nothing thinking that
leads to ghosting your goalscompletely.
I've talked about this quite abit, but the next step is you
have to install someenvironmental anchors right.
Environment beats intentionevery time.
If your space makes healthychoices harder, it's not a
willpower problem.
It's a setup problem.
Set visual and tactile andstructural anchors that help you
(24:46):
to bounce back without thinkingso.
Keep your water bottle outwhere you can see it.
Leave your walking shoes by thedoor.
Post your bounce back protocolin your fridge.
Prep a few fallout meals weekly.
Don't wait for perfection.
Your environment should makethe right.
Next choice.
The reason most people can'tbounce back they tie mistakes to
their identity.
I suck at this.
I'm a binge eater.
(25:07):
I always fall.
It's time to flip that.
You're not someone trying tolose weight.
You're someone who livesdifferently now.
You're someone who gets thrownoff and knows how to pivot.
So instead of I fail againtrying, I'm the kind of person
who keeps going.
Or I'm someone who owns theirchoices and makes new ones fast.
I don't need to be perfect, Ineed forward, because every time
(25:29):
you recover quickly, you cast avote for that new identity.
The last one is practice right.
Don't perform.
You're going to fuck up.
You're going to overeat.
You're going to miss workouts.
You're going to say, ah, fuckit, I hate this.
That's part of it, but it's notthe end.
Bounce back is the bridge fromintention to identity.
It's the daily gritty proofthat you're different now, not
(25:50):
because you're perfect, butbecause you come back faster.
So practice, practice a bounceback plan for your next slip up
before it happens.
Rehearse that script in yourhead and visualize what you'll
do when life smacks you in theface because it's going to.
So the goal isn't perfection,it's resilience on demand.
(26:11):
If you don't know how to comeback, you'll always think you
need to start over.
You don't need to restart yourwhole plan every time life
happens.
You need to build a plan thatexpects life to happen and still
moves forward anyway.
So no more ghosting, no moreshame spouts, no more Mondays.
Just bounce every time.
All right, in this littlewrap-up, I'm going to show you
(26:32):
how to take all this andimplement it without overwhelm,
without overthinking and withoutwaiting for one more day.
So let's get brutally honesthere for a minute.
You don't need another Monday,you don't need another plan, and
you don't need a Pinterestperfect grocery list or a second
fridge full of prepped salmonand guilt.
What you need is resilience.
What you need is a system thatdoesn't collapse the second your
(26:56):
schedule does, because that'swhat this entire episode was
about.
Willpower is a lie.
It runs out.
It burns you out.
It was never meant to carry thewhole load.
Fragile systems they break.
If your plan can't survivestress, exhaustion in your real
life, then it was doom from thestarts.
Patterns run the show.
(27:18):
You're not randomly falling off.
You're stuck in a repeat loopand until you spot it, you keep
living it.
And bounce back is the skillyou're missing.
Not discipline, not motivation,not inspiration, not punishment
, just the ability to recoverquickly and move the fuck on.
(27:39):
So here's the hard truth.
You don't need to be perfect.
You do need to be morepracticed at getting back on
track without the drama, becausethe people who succeed at this,
they still mess up.
They still have days when theplan flies out the window.
They just don't let it definethem.
They bounce over and over untilit's automatic.
So now you build the bounce backsystem into your life.
(28:00):
You hydrate, you move, youdecide your next best choice.
You let one choice be just onechoice, not a death sentence.
You're going to rewrite yourlanguage.
I'm not off, I'm adjusting.
That didn't help me.
But the next move will.
I know how to recover.
Watch me.
You set your systems.
You have your tiered habits,your environmental anchors, your
identity.
That says I live differently.
Now you stop waiting formotivation and you stop
(28:22):
demanding perfection and youstop letting one moment erase
all your effort.
So if your success depends oneverything going right, it's not
success, it's a fantasy.
If you want freedom.
Build a foundation that workswhen things go wrong, because
life will never stop beingchaotic, but you can stop being
(28:44):
at the mercy of it.
So if you want to see how Ibounce forward and manage to
lose 140 pounds and keep it offfor over two years, you can get
my book on Amazon.
It's called the same thing asthis podcast, shut Up and Choose
.
We're an Amazon bestseller.
People write me emails, tell mehow it changed their life.
Again, it's available on Amazon.
I also have a, if you're moreof a visual learner, I have a
video course called theEffortless Weight Loss Academy.
(29:06):
It's 23 short videos, aboutfive to seven minutes each.
You can watch the whole thingin about two hours, but it
really dives into the mentalside of weight loss, because I
do believe the mental side isthe most powerful side.
90% is what happens in yourhead and 10% is everything else.
You can get that atlearnshutupandchoosecom.
That's learnshutupandchoosecom,that's learnshutupandchoosecom.
(29:27):
So that's all I got for today.
All I can say is, if yoursystem can't withstand real life
, then you don't have a system.
You got a farce, you got asetup, you got bullshit.
You have to choose what worksfor you, which leads me to the
way I end every single episode,which is the only thing left for
(29:48):
you to do is shut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
And guess what?
(30:12):
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast, where
we cut the noise and thenonsense and all that bullshit
that the internet and all thoseInstagram and TikTok gurus have
thrown at you.
Telling you, one week, eat thisNext week hey, we were wrong.
Don't eat this.
Telling you, one week, eat thisNext week hey, we were wrong.
Don't eat this.
Eat that.
There's so much bullshit outthere and the truth of the
matter is losing weight is easy.
People get pissed when I say it, but losing weight is easy if
(01:34):
you know how to do it.
And it's not a diet and it'snot some strict plan.
It's the mental side of thegame.
It's knowing what triggers you.
It's knowing how to lose weight.
That makes it easier.
I talk to clients every day andone of my clients or one of my
new clients, I should say saidto me I was doing so well and
(01:55):
then I just fell off.
That probably sounds familiarto a lot of you.
Of course it does.
It's the most overused phrasein the weight loss world, right
up there with I just need to getback on track and I'll start
Monday.
Let me say this loud and clearyou didn't fall off.
Your plan just fell apartbecause it was built for a
fantasy version of your life,not the one that you're actually
(02:18):
living.
And that's what we're going totalk about today.
Again, this episode is not aboutshaming you for fucking up
again.
It's not about blaming you forbeing undisciplined or lazy.
It's about exposing the realreason.
You keep ending up in the samefrustrating cycle of on or off,
or good or bad, or in it or fuckit.
(02:38):
Now here's the truth.
You don't have a willpowerproblem.
You have a system designproblem.
The diet industry has fed youthis idea that success is about
trying harder, that if you justwoke up earlier or meal prep
better or found your why onemore time, you'd finally stick
(02:59):
with it.
I'm calling bullshit on that.
Trying harder doesn't fix abroken system.
It just burns you out faster.
So, if we look at it, whatactually causes people to fall
off?
So I'm going to break it downfor you.
First, your plan was too rigid.
It worked until the second.
Your kid got sick, or your bossdropped a last minute meeting
(03:20):
on you, or your energy dippedbelow 100.
Or maybe you had no backup.
You missed one workout or madeone off-plan meal choice and you
had no idea what to do next?
Another one is you made onemistake and it turned into a
weekend spiral.
I can't tell you how many timesthat's happened to me, happened
to people that I coach.
(03:40):
It's crazy.
So you made one mistake and itturns into a weekend spiral, all
because your mindset is wiredfor perfection or failure, and
no in between.
And if that sounds harsh, wellgood, because you're not here
for sugarcoated bullshit.
You're here because you want tostop playing the game of stop
start on off all in and then allout.
(04:01):
And I'm here to tell you youabsolutely can, but only if
you're willing to stop blamingyourself and start fixing the
actual problem the system thatcan't survive your real life.
That's the problem the systemthat can't survive your real
life.
In this episode, I'm going tobreak it down for you why
(04:22):
falling off isn't a failure.
It's a feedback looper.
In this episode, I'm going tobreak it down for you why
falling off isn't a failure.
It's a feedback looper how tospot your patterns and build,
bounce back into the plan andwhat you need to change.
So this is the last time youever have to start over.
So let's cut the noise, burnthe perfectionism and build
something that really sticks,even when life doesn't.
(04:43):
So the first thing I want totalk about is this thing called
the lie of willpower.
If trying harder worked, you'dbe there by now.
Let's just call this out fromthe jump.
Willpower is the biggest scamin the weight loss world.
It's right up there with detoxteas, waist trainers and those
annoying influencers who swearthey just love kale.
Now, bunch of fucking liars andscammers.
(05:05):
Willpower gets sold to you likeit's a character trait,
something you either have or youdon't, something you should
just tap into when things gethard, as if it's some magical
reserve of discipline hidingbehind your gallbladder.
I had my gallbladder out, so itwouldn't be hiding behind mine.
Maybe that's why I didn't havediscipline.
I don't know.
But here's the truth that mostcoaches, trainers and diet plans
(05:26):
won't say.
They just won't say it.
You don't need more willpower,you need fewer moments that
require it.
Willpower is a finite resource.
It runs out, it burns out, itgets weaker.
When you're tired, stressed,distracted, overwhelmed or
emotionally tapped out which,for being honest, that's like
(05:54):
Tuesday you know what I mean.
Every time you fall off, youtell yourself I just need to be
more disciplined.
Every time you say that, you'rereinforcing a false belief that
the only thing standing betweenyou and success is your own
moral weakness.
That's a bunch of shit.
You're not failing becauseyou're weak.
You're failing because you'retrying to brute force your way
through chaos instead ofbuilding a system that works
(06:14):
with it.
Let me tell you willpower willnever be to skip lunch and low
blood sugar.
It'll never be to stressful dayand zero emotional bandwidth.
It'll never be to an unplanneddinner invite.
It'll never beat an unplanneddinner invite.
It'll never beat a 6 am alarmafter only four hours of sleep.
And it'll never beat a pantryfull of cookies and no plan for
dinner.
(06:34):
But systems can.
Routines, defaults, automationthese are the tools that make
progress inevitable.
Not because you're stronger,but because you've removed the
decision fatigue that's beencrushing.
You See, what you think is adiscipline problem is actually a
design problem.
So let's say you're trying toeat better and your strategy
(06:55):
looks something like this Okay,rely on motivation in the
morning.
Hope you don't get too busy toeat lunch.
Promise yourself you'll figuresomething out for dinner.
Keep snacks in the house forthe kids.
Feel guilty for being temptedand try to white-knuckle your
way past cravings.
That's not a strategy, man.
That's a setup.
(07:15):
You've built a plan thatdemands super human focus every
single day.
Of course you're exhausted.
Of course you crack.
Of course you're exhausted.
Of course you crack.
Of course you binge watchNetflix with chips at 1030 while
Googling Eat healthy meals.
It's crazy.
You're not weak, you'reunprepared, because willpower is
(07:37):
not a plan, it's a temporarypatch.
So let's talk about decisionfatigue, because this is where
the willpower myth really fallsapart.
The average adult makes about35,000 decisions every day from
what time to wake up, what towear, how to respond to that
decision, nasty email everysingle one drains just a little
(08:00):
bit of the battery.
So by the time you're staringat the fridge at 6, 45 or 7
o'clock trying to choose betweena chicken salad and a frozen
pizza, you're done.
The battery is toast.
If you're depending onwillpower at that point, game
over.
The pizza wins every time.
But if your dinner is alreadyprepped, or or your go-to meal
(08:20):
is ready in five minutes, or youmade a Tuesday equals stir fry
night rule that requires zerothinking, then you don't need
willpower.
You just need to follow theblueprint and that's the shift.
It's making fewer decisions,not better ones.
High performers don't makebetter decisions, they make
fewer decisions.
They design their environment.
(08:41):
To reduce friction.
They set defaults, theyautomate what they can, so
they're not relying ondiscipline 24-7.
Here's, I guess, what that lookslike in the real world.
It's leaving your water bottleby your coffee machine.
It's packing the same threelunches on rotation, so lunch is
a non-decision.
It's having a walking meetinginstead of forcing yourself to
(09:03):
find time to work out.
It's grocery shopping with adefault list those items that
you must have in the house, andI'm not talking about the
cookies here.
It's meal prepping the boringmeals.
And when I say meal prepping, Idon't mean making it in fucking
Tupperware and storing it inthe kitchen.
I mean knowing that you havethe ingredients to make
something easy, and not makingthose Instagram meals.
(09:26):
Every one of those is a systemthat replaces the need for
willpower.
And guess what?
They work, because willpowerisn't scalable, but systems are.
So let's take a step back andthink about your life.
If you're running a business,raising kids, managing stress,
working long hours, you alreadyhave decision overload baked
(09:49):
into your day.
You don't need one more thingto manage.
You need things that manage you.
So if your entire weight lossplan requires you to be on your
game every single day, you don'thave a plan, you have a fantasy
.
You need something that workslike when you're tired, when
you're traveling, when you'rebored, when your mood sucks,
(10:10):
when your schedule blows up andwhen your motivation is just MIA
.
That's a system that'ssustainable and that's what wins
long term system that'ssustainable and that's what wins
long term.
If your progress depends onwillpower, your failure is just
one bad day away.
(10:30):
So stop blaming yourself forfalling off.
Start looking at the systemthat put you in a position where
willpower is the only thingholding it all together.
And if that system sucks, fixthe system, not yourself.
So I guess that brings me tothis next point, which is the
real culprit is fragile systems.
When your plan didn't fail, itcollapsed under pressure because
it was never built to handlelife.
(10:52):
So let's say that quiet partout loud.
It's not you, it's your plan.
I know the diet industrydoesn't want you to believe that
, but that's the fact.
It's not you, it's your plan.
I know the diet industrydoesn't want you to believe that
, but that's the fact.
It's not you, it's your plan.
If your strategy only works whenyour calendar's empty, your
energy is high and your fridgeis stocked and your motivation
is just fucking peaking.
Then you don't have a strategy.
(11:13):
You have a delicate house ofTupperware and dreams.
And the second your kid getssick, your boss drops a deadline
, your sleep gets fucked orsomeone invites you to dinner
boom, the whole thing goes up inflames faster than your
leftover chicken and broccoli.
Everybody wants to wait for theperfect conditions.
Here's what most people do, andthis probably sounds familiar
(11:36):
to you.
They wait for the mythicalperfect week to start.
They prep 15 meals, they writea schedule that requires Olympic
level discipline, they committo daily workouts, zero sugar,
full hydration, eight hours ofsleep and daily journaling for
like three days.
Then life does what it alwaysdoes it shows up messy,
unpredictable, loud and late.
(11:57):
The kids need to ride, the bossneeds a favor.
You sleep like shit.
You skip a workout, you chowdown on some fast food and
suddenly you're off.
But you didn't fall off.
You walked a tightrope andcalled it a sidewalk.
Your plan wasn't too ambitious,it was too brittle and a rigid
plan is a fragile plan.
(12:18):
Let's get that concept burnedinto your brain.
Rigid systems break.
Flexible systems, bend andbounce.
Rigid is things like this Ihave to work out at 6 am or the
whole day is ruined.
Or if I eat off plan once themeal is blown, or if I can't
prep all my meals, I might aswell order pizza when a flexible
(12:38):
plan says hey, if I miss myworkout, I'll walk at lunch, if
dinner's off plan, I'llprioritize water and a good
night's sleep, and if I don'thave my ideal meal prep, I'll
default to one of my backupoptions.
Do you see the difference there?
The first version shatters, thesecond life hits you, it just
falls to pieces.
The second version adapts, itsurvives, and survival is the
(13:02):
secret to consistency.
Another thing that should pissyou off is that fragile plans
teach obedience, not autonomy.
That's where the diet reallyfucks you over.
Most diet plans don't teach youhow to think.
They teach you how to follow.
As long as the conditions arecontrolled, eat this, not that I
mean.
We've all heard that Do theseworkouts.
(13:23):
Track everything to the gram.
Don't ask questions, just do it.
And when that structureinevitably gets interrupted,
you're left with zero skills toadapt.
You don't know how to pivot.
You don't know how to eat at arestaurant.
You don't know how to bounceback after a bad night of sleep
or an emotional day.
So what do you do?
You give up, not because you'reweak, but because your system
(13:44):
has no flexibility.
Your failure wasn't a lack ofwillpower, it was a lack of
design.
I love when people tell methey're off track, because I
tell them no, you're not offtrack, you just hit real life.
Let's define, or redefine, whatoff-track really means.
If your plan has no built-inwiggle room, if one unexpected
(14:06):
dinner invite or missed workoutmeans you start over Monday,
then the problem is not yourlack of discipline, it's that
your track is too damn narrow.
Your system should expectdisruption.
It should include fallbacks.
It should be built like atrampoline, not a tightrope,
because real progress doesn'tcome from the perfect weeks, it
(14:26):
comes from the messy ones, whereyou still show up anyway.
I would say to you build aresilient system that can take a
hit.
And here's what a resilientsystem looks like.
You have habit tiers.
You have your ideal, yourfunctional and your survival.
You don't ghost your habits,you just kind of scale them to
your day.
You have fallback meals, thosemeals that are easy to make,
(14:48):
they're quick to make andthey're always available.
So they're always available andthey're low effort options.
You have flexible workouts andfor me, I was never about going
to the gym.
But if the gym is out, you walk.
If you can't walk, you stretch.
If you can't stretch, youbreathe deeply and drink some
water.
It's that simple.
You have a mental resetquestion what can I do?
(15:08):
Right now that supports me justa little.
When your plan can adapt, youstop quitting, you stop starting
over and you stop living thatall-or-nothing mode and you
finally start to build momentum,the real kind.
So if your habits only workwhen life is calm, they're not
habits, they're hobbies.
Let that sink in, because thereal culprit behind your
(15:30):
inconsistency isn't you, it'sthe brittle, unrealistic,
diet-fueled system that wasnever built for your life in the
first place.
So what's next?
We're going to look at thepatterns that keep you stuck and
how to interrupt them beforethey become your identity.
Look, you don't need anotherdiet, you need to break the
(15:50):
fucking loop, right?
Let's not pretend that everyslip up is some isolated,
mysterious event.
You didn't randomly binge.
You didn't accidentally falloff.
You didn't suddenly wake up 40pounds heavier.
You followed a pattern.
You've been following thatpattern and unless you call it
out and break it, you'll keepliving it.
So this is not about discipline, it's about awareness, because
(16:13):
once you spot the pattern, youcan change it, but as long as
you keep calling it a problem,you'll keep playing the victim.
So let's talk about the patternloop.
Most people live in a cycle thatlooks something like this, and
we've all been there.
First you get motivated, youfeel fed up.
Maybe your pants don't fit,maybe you saw a picture of
yourself you didn't love.
(16:34):
Whatever it is, you decidethat's it, I'm changing.
Then you go all in.
You clean out the pantry, youbuy a plan, you swear carbs and
plan to work out six days a week.
You're fucking pumped man.
You're perfect for three days,maybe a week.
Then life happens.
Something throws you off astressful day, bad sleep, dinner
(16:57):
out, someone brings cookie towork and you slip.
Then we hit.
The next step is the shamespiral.
You tell yourself you blew it,so you eat more.
You skip the workout, you waitfor Monday, you avoid the
mirrors.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Guilty.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Avoid thinking.
You just ghost your habits andthen the next step is restart,
eventually Get fed up again andthe loop starts all over.
Sound familiar?
Yeah, that's not a willpowerissue.
That's a systematic identityloop and every time you repeat
it it gets stronger, becausepatterns repeat until you
(17:33):
interrupt them.
The problem is never just thebad day.
The problem is your reaction tothe bad day, the beliefs that
you attach to it.
Like I already fucked up, Imight as well keep going or I'll
be good tomorrow.
I just need a clean slate.
Those aren't neutral thoughts.
They're trigger phrases thatkeep the pattern alive.
So let's shift that.
Instead of judging behavior,start spotting the sequence.
(17:57):
Ask what's the chain of eventsthat always leads me to falling
off?
Maybe it starts with skippingbreakfast, or maybe it's
drinking too much coffee andforgetting to eat lunch.
Maybe it's working too late anddeciding to treat yourself
because you're exhausted, ormaybe it's not getting enough
sleep, craving sugar, skippingyour walk, benching at night.
You're not broken.
You're really predictable.
(18:18):
And the good news is andpredictable means fixable.
So you got to figure out whatidentity you want to have,
because identity reinforcementequals stuck behavior.
Here's where it gets deeper.
Your patterns reinforce youridentity.
I always mess up on theweekends.
Or I'm just an emotional eater,or I do great things until I
(18:39):
get stressed, or I can't havechips in the house.
I have no control.
I've said mine was I'mincapable of making good food
decisions.
If you say something enoughtimes, it becomes a belief, live
in enough times and it becomesyour identity.
At that point it's not just thehabit, it's who you think you
are, and when that identity getstriggered, guess what you do?
(19:00):
You behave in a way thatconfirms it.
So what do we do instead?
We build new loops confirms it.
So what do we do instead?
We build new loops, ones thatinterrupt the spiral and
reinforce a new identity.
So here's three practical toolsto start breaking your default
loop.
Number one is the patternjournal.
For three or five days, reallynotice what time you ate, how
(19:20):
you felt before and after andwhat triggered your off-track
behavior, whether it's anemotion, environment, so
whatever, you'll see the patternfast and once you see it, you
won't be able to unsee it.
The second thing is the nextbest choice rule.
When you slip, when you fuck up, immediately ask what would the
next best version of me doright now?
That might mean water, take awalk, a better choice for your
(19:44):
next meal.
It kills the all or nothingtrap right on the spot.
And then the third thing is youhave to have a mini bounce back
plan.
Build a default recovery ritualyou follow every time you slip
up.
So drink water, and drink waterASAP.
Move, take a walk for five or10 minutes and reset mentally.
Say something like I made achoice and I'm making a better
(20:08):
one now, and repeat thatthree-step bounce back every
time you fall into old patternsand eventually the bounce back
becomes your new baseline.
So you don't need morediscipline, you need fewer
repeats.
This isn't about avoiding themess.
It's about refusing to live onautopilot in a loop that you
were honestly never meant tostay in.
Your old patterns are loud,they're familiar, they're
(20:30):
comfortable, even when theyfucking suck.
But you're not here for comfort, you're here for change.
And change happens the momentyou stop saying I blew it again
and start asking what's the loopI'm stuck in and how do I break
it?
So now I'm going to tell youhow to build bounce back into
your system so you don't falloff.
You bounce forward.
(20:53):
So, I guess, build the bounceback in your.
You don't need a reset.
You need a recovery plan.
Welcome to the part where westop pretending your life is
ever going to be perfectly insync with your goals.
It won't be.
That's not negative, it's notdefeatist.
That's just reality.
And if your plan doesn'taccount for that, it's not a
plan, it's a setup.
(21:14):
So let me break that down foryou.
You don't fail because you makemistakes.
You fail because you don't knowwhat to do after the mistake.
You binge, then ghost yourhabits, you miss a workout, then
you're right off the week.
You're thrown off once andassume you have to start all
over.
And the truth is you don't.
(21:34):
You just need to build a bounceback into your system on
purpose and ahead of time.
So the bounce back principle ispretty simple.
The people who succeed long-termin weight loss don't have fewer
setbacks.
They're just faster atrecovering.
They don't spiral and they eatsomething off plan.
They don't have fewer setbacks.
They're just faster atrecovering.
They don't spiral and they eatsomething off the plan.
They don't use a missed workoutas an excuse to disappear for a
month and they don't let onedecision dictate their next
seven.
(21:55):
Why?
Because they've practicedbouncing back.
It's not motivation, it's notinspiration.
It's a skill and, like anyskill, it's trainable.
Consistency isn't about neverfucking up.
It's about not letting one badmoment become a bad week.
Your bounce back muscle getsstronger the more you use it.
(22:17):
So let me show you how to buildthat.
Number one is create a bounceback protocol.
This is your emergency plan,your fire drill.
You don't wait until thekitchen is inflamed to figure
out where the extinguisher is,and the same goes here.
Here's your simple three-stepprotocol.
Number one first thing ishydrate 12 to 16 ounces of water
(22:37):
Right now.
It signals a reset.
Number two is move.
Get five or 10 minutes of lightmovement.
Again, it could be walking,stretching, breathing, it
doesn't matter.
Just shift your energy.
And three is decide what's yournext best meal, your next best
small win, your next bestdecision, and do it.
This isn't about making up forit.
You're never going to make upfor it.
It's about getting back intomotion quickly.
(23:00):
The longer you wait to bounce,the heavier the shame gets.
Second thing you need to do ischange the language.
Words are power and most of thetime, your language is quietly
sabotaging you.
I blew it.
You hear me say this all thetime.
No, you didn't.
You made one choice.
I'll start over Monday.
Or you could restart right now.
(23:20):
Or I fell off, or maybe yourplan never had a bounce back
build, so here's your upgradethat didn't serve me.
But what does?
One choice off plan doesn'tundo the 27 that I got right, or
I know how to recover.
So I will Repeat those phrasesout loud, write them down,
tattoo them on your soul if youneed, but your brain listens to
(23:42):
what your mouth says, so feed itwisely.
The next thing is you have tobuild some habit tiers right,
because not all days are createdequal.
So stop expecting the sameperformance from yourself on
every single day.
Build your habits and tiersright.
So maybe your ideal day is afull workout, balanced meals,
(24:03):
hydration, journaling, steps,great.
But maybe on a busy day it's ashort walk, decent meals, water
and an early bedtime, and maybeon your shitty dumpster fire day
, hydration, deep breaths and noguilt.
If you can't hit your ideal day, you drop to the busy day.
If that's too much, you drop tothe dumpster fire day, but you
never drop to zero.
(24:23):
What that does is it removesthe all or nothing thinking that
leads to ghosting your goalscompletely.
I've talked about this quite abit, but the next step is you
have to install someenvironmental anchors right.
Environment beats intentionevery time.
If your space makes healthychoices harder, it's not a
willpower problem.
It's a setup problem.
Set visual and tactile andstructural anchors that help you
(24:46):
to bounce back without thinkingso.
Keep your water bottle outwhere you can see it.
Leave your walking shoes by thedoor.
Post your bounce back protocolin your fridge.
Prep a few fallout meals weekly.
Don't wait for perfection.
Your environment should makethe right.
Next choice.
The reason most people can'tbounce back they tie mistakes to
their identity.
I suck at this.
I'm a binge eater.
(25:07):
I always fall.
It's time to flip that.
You're not someone trying tolose weight.
You're someone who livesdifferently now.
You're someone who gets thrownoff and knows how to pivot.
So instead of I fail againtrying, I'm the kind of person
who keeps going.
Or I'm someone who owns theirchoices and makes new ones fast.
I don't need to be perfect, Ineed forward, because every time
(25:29):
you recover quickly, you cast avote for that new identity.
The last one is practice right.
Don't perform.
You're going to fuck up.
You're going to overeat.
You're going to miss workouts.
You're going to say, ah, fuckit, I hate this.
That's part of it, but it's notthe end.
Bounce back is the bridge fromintention to identity.
It's the daily gritty proofthat you're different now, not
(25:50):
because you're perfect, butbecause you come back faster.
So practice, practice a bounceback plan for your next slip up
before it happens.
Rehearse that script in yourhead and visualize what you'll
do when life smacks you in theface because it's going to.
So the goal isn't perfection,it's resilience on demand.
(26:11):
If you don't know how to comeback, you'll always think you
need to start over.
You don't need to restart yourwhole plan every time life
happens.
You need to build a plan thatexpects life to happen and still
moves forward anyway.
So no more ghosting, no moreshame spouts, no more Mondays.
Just bounce every time.
All right, in this littlewrap-up, I'm going to show you
(26:32):
how to take all this andimplement it without overwhelm,
without overthinking and withoutwaiting for one more day.
So let's get brutally honesthere for a minute.
You don't need another Monday,you don't need another plan, and
you don't need a Pinterestperfect grocery list or a second
fridge full of prepped salmonand guilt.
What you need is resilience.
What you need is a system thatdoesn't collapse the second your
(26:56):
schedule does, because that'swhat this entire episode was
about.
Willpower is a lie.
It runs out.
It burns you out.
It was never meant to carry thewhole load.
Fragile systems they break.
If your plan can't survivestress, exhaustion in your real
life, then it was doom from thestarts.
Patterns run the show.
(27:18):
You're not randomly falling off.
You're stuck in a repeat loopand until you spot it, you keep
living it.
And bounce back is the skillyou're missing.
Not discipline, not motivation,not inspiration, not punishment
, just the ability to recoverquickly and move the fuck on.
(27:39):
So here's the hard truth.
You don't need to be perfect.
You do need to be morepracticed at getting back on
track without the drama, becausethe people who succeed at this,
they still mess up.
They still have days when theplan flies out the window.
They just don't let it definethem.
They bounce over and over untilit's automatic.
So now you build the bounce backsystem into your life.
(28:00):
You hydrate, you move, youdecide your next best choice.
You let one choice be just onechoice, not a death sentence.
You're going to rewrite yourlanguage.
I'm not off, I'm adjusting.
That didn't help me.
But the next move will.
I know how to recover.
Watch me.
You set your systems.
You have your tiered habits,your environmental anchors, your
identity.
That says I live differently.
Now you stop waiting formotivation and you stop
(28:22):
demanding perfection and youstop letting one moment erase
all your effort.
So if your success depends oneverything going right, it's not
success, it's a fantasy.
If you want freedom.
Build a foundation that workswhen things go wrong, because
life will never stop beingchaotic, but you can stop being
(28:44):
at the mercy of it.
So if you want to see how Ibounce forward and manage to
lose 140 pounds and keep it offfor over two years, you can get
my book on Amazon.
It's called the same thing asthis podcast, shut Up and Choose
.
We're an Amazon bestseller.
People write me emails, tell mehow it changed their life.
Again, it's available on Amazon.
I also have a, if you're moreof a visual learner, I have a
video course called theEffortless Weight Loss Academy.
(29:06):
It's 23 short videos, aboutfive to seven minutes each.
You can watch the whole thingin about two hours, but it
really dives into the mentalside of weight loss, because I
do believe the mental side isthe most powerful side.
90% is what happens in yourhead and 10% is everything else.
You can get that atlearnshutupandchoosecom.
That's learnshutupandchoosecom,that's learnshutupandchoosecom.
(29:27):
So that's all I got for today.
All I can say is, if yoursystem can't withstand real life
, then you don't have a system.
You got a farce, you got asetup, you got bullshit.
You have to choose what worksfor you, which leads me to the
way I end every single episode,which is the only thing left for
(29:48):
you to do is shut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
And guess what?
(30:12):
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
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