June 25, 2025 • 31 mins
Ever found yourself saying, "I've always been big, it's just in my genes"? That seemingly innocent explanation might be the very thing keeping you stuck in a cycle of weight struggles and failed attempts at change.
In this raw, unfiltered episode, we tear down the myth of the "fat gene" and expose the truth that most people don't want to hear: what we blame on genetics is actually inherited behavior. You didn't inherit obesity—you inherited portion sizes, late-night snacking, sedentary evenings, and using food as your universal emotional response tool.
The revelation hit me at 411 pounds when I finally recognized I wasn't living my own life; I was repeating patterns I'd absorbed since childhood. Cleaning my plate no matter how full I felt. Eating when bored, stressed, or celebrating. Using food as both punishment and reward. These weren't biological imperatives—they were scripts I'd been handed that I never thought to question.
But here's the liberating truth: patterns can be rewritten. Using what I call the 3R Method—Recognize the inherited habit, Replace it with a better option, and Repeat until it becomes your new normal—I lost over 130 pounds without diets, gyms, or gimmicks. Not by fighting my supposed genetic destiny, but by consciously choosing different routines.
The power of this approach lies in its simplicity. You don't need to overhaul your entire life overnight. Start with just one habit this week. Maybe it's leaving two bites on your plate to break the "clean plate club" conditioning. Perhaps it's waiting 10 minutes before getting seconds. Small changes, consistently repeated, create massive transformation over time.
Ready to stop blaming your DNA and start rewriting your story? Listen now to discover exactly how to identify the habits you didn't choose but are still living by—and more importantly, how to replace them with choices that serve the life you actually want. Your genes aren't your destiny. Your daily decisions are.
Lose Weight Without Starving or Obsessing! Learn the simple, no-BS system that helped me lose 140 pounds naturally—no extreme diets, no endless gym hours, just real, sustainable fat loss for real people.
Join the Effortless Weight Loss Academy HERE
Please leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to your podcasts.
Send me questions or comments to Jonathan.Ressler@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast where
we cover the noise, the nonsense, all the bullshit that the
internet and Instagram gurus andother jerk-offs are out there
telling you how to lose weight,telling you eat this, don't eat
that.
Then the next week they're wait.
Wait, we were wrong.
Don't eat that, eat this.
It's all a bunch of shit.
You know what to do, you knowhow to lose the weight.
You know how to do it all.
(01:42):
So, anyway, the other day I wastalking to a new client of mine
and he said something.
This is a guy he said was I'vealways been big, it's just in my
genes that line.
Well, I've heard it beforedozens, maybe hundreds of times,
I've said it myself, but forsome reason that day it just hit
me differently.
Maybe it's just how resigned hesounded, like the case was
closed, like there was no pointin even trying, because his
(02:10):
biology had already written theending to his story.
And, to be honest, like I said,I've used that line myself a
lot of times, even though I knowit's not true.
It was just an easy way out forme.
My mother was fit.
My brothers are both fit.
My father, well, him not somuch.
He was also the king of diets.
He did all the diets and allthe fads.
He lost a ton of weight.
Then he put it right back onand I idolized my father.
So by default I kind of didwhat he did.
I looked just like him, I actlike him.
(02:32):
Literally.
When I would walk down thestreet people go oh you must be
Sandy's son.
What should I expect?
I guess I did everything thathe did, and that includes all
the same weight issues that hehad.
I had inherited his fat geneand that got me thinking like
how many people are walkingaround carrying that belief like
it's a death sentence?
How many people have convincedthemselves that they are locked
(02:55):
into their current body, theircurrent habits, their current
life, not because of theirchoices but because of some
mythical fat gene?
I'm not here to tell you thatgenetics don't play a role in
body type.
Of course they do.
Some people have a fastermetabolism, a naturally smaller
frame, a different set point.
But let's not kid ourselves.
What most people call geneticsis really just inherited
(03:17):
behavior.
You didn't inherit obesity, andneither did I.
We inherited portion sizes.
We inherited late nightsnacking.
We inherited a sedentarylifestyle, a stressed out eating
pattern, a tendency to eat forcomfort instead of fuel.
And, most importantly, weinherited a mindset, one that
(03:38):
told us this is just who you are.
And here's the truth.
Most of what we chalk up to DNAis actually just repetition.
It's a tradition disguised asbiology.
Your parents didn't meal prepCertainly mine didn't, so I
never meal prep.
I still don't.
By the way, in my house wenever talked about nutrition, so
(04:00):
, as I got older, I never talkedor thought about nutrition.
In my house, we skippedbreakfast.
We we inhale our dinner infront of the TV.
So that's what I do.
So, congratulations, youprobably do it too, but that's
not a gene, it's a routine, andthe good news is, routines can
be changed.
That's what this episode isabout rewriting the story that
(04:22):
you've inherited.
If you've always been big,always struggled with food,
always felt like it was out ofyour control, I want to
challenge you today, not toblame your past, but to take
ownership of your future.
You're not a victim of genetics.
You're the result of yourpatterns, and those patterns can
absolutely be replaced.
So I'm going to break down howto separate biology from belief
(04:45):
and show you exactly how toidentify the habits you didn't
choose, but you're still livingby and, more importantly, I'll
walk you through how to startmaking different choices,
stacking new habits and buildinga new story, one that isn't
limited by what you were handeddown.
Because here's the thing if youinherited it, it wasn't your
choice, but if you're stilldoing it now it is, so let's get
(05:10):
into it.
So look, you did not inherit thefat gene, you just inherited
your family's routines.
You were not born broken.
This isn't some rogue geneinside of you that said let's
make this one fat, slow anddestined to fail.
That's just not how biologyworks.
But we've been conditioned tobelieve that if we've always
been big, it must be ourgenetics.
I hear it all the time my wholefamily's bigger.
(05:33):
I've always had a slowmetabolism.
It just runs in my blood and Iget it.
Believe me, I get it.
That belief is comforting.
It gives you an out.
If it's genetic, then it's notyour fault.
If it's inherited, then nothingyou do really matters.
So you can stop trying, you canstop failing and just accept
this is your lot in life.
But here's the truth.
(05:53):
What most people call geneticsis actually just generational
habits.
You didn't inherit a fat gene,you inherited a way of living,
and just because your familypassed it down doesn't mean you
have to keep carrying it.
So first let me say yes, ofcourse, genetics are real.
Some people are more prone tostoring fat.
Some people are naturallyleaner.
(06:14):
Some people gain weight faster,some lose it more easily.
That's all true.
But your genetics are not yourdestiny.
They're just your defaultsetting, basically your starting
point.
Are not your destiny.
They're just your defaultsetting, basically your starting
point.
The rest is built by yourchoices, your behaviors and, to
some extent, your environment.
So what actually runs in thefamily?
(06:34):
For most people, it's not afaulty gene, it's a lifestyle
template.
We probably grew up in a housewhere most people were running
late, stressed, and we didn'tprioritize meals.
Breakfast just grab a granolabar, some Pop-Tarts or just skip
it all together, and now youstart your day with caffeine, no
protein and a blood sugar crashby 11 am.
That's not a gene, that's ahabit you absorb because no one
(06:57):
taught you any different.
Another one is cleaning yourplate right.
Raise your hand.
If you heard this growing up.
Don't waste food.
Now ask yourself how many timesyou've eaten past fullness not
because you were hungry, butbecause it felt wrong to leave
something behind.
That's not metabolism, that'sconditioning, that's being
taught to associate in finishingyour plate with being a good
(07:17):
kid and not being wasteful.
Another one and we're allguilty of this you want to know
what?
One of the most common familytraditions that leads to slow,
steady weight gain over time,that's sedentary evenings.
If you eat dinner, then you sit, you watch TV, you have some
snacks, you do a littlescrolling on your phone, drink
some wine, have a drink,whatever it is.
(07:37):
The rhythm becomes a norm.
You didn't choose it, youabsorbed it.
Another one is using food tocope.
This is a big one.
If you grew up in a home wherefood was how you dealt with
stress or sadness or boredom oreven celebration, guess what?
You learned?
That food equals comfort.
Bad day, eat something.
Long week, let's order in Bigwin, let's celebrate with cake.
(08:00):
It's not your body's biologycraving that dopamine hit, it's
your emotional wiring built fromchildhood.
And this is a big one.
This is the biggest one.
This is probably the mostnormalized dysfunction Sugar as
celebration and food as therapy.
Birthday let's have cake.
Graduate and I'm not saying youshouldn't have cake on a
(08:21):
birthday, but graduation cakeGot promoted Dinner out, feeling
down Pizza and ice cream thisritual gets baked in so deeply
by the time you're an adult youdon't even realize you're
reenacting every time somethinghappens, good or bad.
But the real point is what youinherited was repetition, and
(08:41):
that's the key point that I wantto drive home.
Most of what we label as geneticis actually just repeated
behavior.
You've done something so manytimes for so many years in the
same situations with the sameresponses, that it feels like
it's who you are, but it's notidentity and it's definitely not
DNA.
It's just repetition.
(09:01):
And repetition becomes yourstory, your autopilot, basically
your comfort zone.
It becomes easier to believeyou're just built this way than
to face the discomfort of change.
But let me remind you somethingRepetition can work for you
just as easily as it's workedagainst you.
If you can repeat late-nightsnacking for 15, 20, 30 years,
(09:23):
you can repeat walking afterdinner.
It's that easy.
If you can repeat self-loathing, diet cycling over and over,
you can repeat small wins andstacked habits.
You don't have to keeprepeating what you didn't choose
and you don't have to carry thehabits that were handed to you
like a family heirloom.
You can break the cycle thatwere handed to you.
Like a family heirloom, you canbreak the cycle.
(09:43):
It's not just possible, it'spowerful, because once you see
that your bad genes are just badprogramming, you realize that
you're the one holding the penand you can rewrite that story.
So let me give you an example,or paint a little picture for
you.
You're out at a restaurant orwalking through an amusement
park, wherever, and you see it,that family, every member of it,
(10:07):
is overweight or obese Parents,kids, sometimes even the
grandparents, all carryingexcess weight.
And here's the question thatmost people are too polite or
too afraid to ask out loud Doyou really think they all got
the fat gene?
Is that what we're going with?
Four people, three generations,all lost the genetic lottery.
Come on, give me a fuckingbreak.
(10:27):
There's something else at playhere, and you know it.
And I'm not here to shameanybody.
I'm definitely not here toshame anybody, but I'm here to
tell the truth, and the truth isthis isn't about biology, it's
about behavior.
Family didn't inherit somechromosome mutation.
(10:47):
They inherited a lifestyle.
They inherited skippingbreakfast, grabbing fast food
for dinner, living on snacks andsodas, binging on Netflix
instead of walking the dog,using food to celebrate, I don't
know, to grieve, to avoid andbasically to soothe.
They inherited routines, notgenes.
If you followed that familyhome which I didn't, which I
never have because I'm not astalker but if you did follow
them and take a look at theirdaily habits, you'd probably see
(11:10):
no meal planning, no water, nostructured movement, shit, loads
of mindless eating, a lot ofstress, probably not a lot of
sleep and absolutely noboundaries around food screens
or self-care.
That is not a genetic code,that's a household culture.
And guess what?
That culture is learned, it'srepeated and it's passed down
(11:36):
like a family recipe and itproduces the same result every
single time.
So when someone looks at afamily like that and shrug and
said, well, I guess it just runsin the family, what they're
really saying is we neverquestioned how we live.
But here's the good news andthe bad news, depending on how
honest you're willing to be.
If it's a gene, you're totallyfucked, you're fucked.
But if it's a habit, you canchange it.
(11:57):
And that's the part that peopleresist, because changing habits
is uncomfortable.
It forces you to confronteverything you've normalized and
maybe even challenge yourfamily's entire way of living.
That's some heavy shit.
But let me tell you, breakingthat cycle is one of the most
powerful things you can do foryourself, for your kids and for
the people watching, you canactually choose not to pass it
(12:22):
on.
So let's talk about the part ofthe story that comes after
awareness, because once you seethe fat gene probably isn't a
gene at all.
Once you realize that you mayhave inherited your family's
routines, not their DNA, you'releft with a powerful question
what do I do with that truth?
Well, that's kind of where thework begins, because here's the
thing Many of us grew up inhouseholds where certain
(12:44):
behaviors were sacred andunquestioned as religion.
This is how my mother did it,this is how my grandmother did
it, and now it's just me.
I'm not being malicious, it'snot intentional.
In most cases it's not evenconscious, it's just normal.
You grew up watching yourparents eat a certain way,
handle stress a certain way,talk about food and weight in a
(13:06):
certain way, and then, whetheryou realize it or not, you
absorb those behaviors likebackground noise.
You didn't choose them, youinherited them.
And now, as an adult, you mightlook in the mirror and feel
frustrated.
You might wonder why it feelsso hard to change.
You might feel like there'ssomething broken in you, like
you're missing discipline or thewillpower or the fit gene.
(13:26):
But let me offer you a littledifferent perspective, one that
takes guilt and shame out of theequation and replaces it with
truth and power.
You're not broken, you'repatterned.
That and power.
You're not broken, you'repatterned.
That's right.
You are not broken, you justhave patterns, and patterns can
change when you realize thecurrent habits aren't your fault
(13:48):
but they are yourresponsibility.
It opens the door to real,sustainable change.
Not the crash diet, new year,new me kind of bullshit, but the
kind that rewires yourday-to-day decisions until they
become your new normal.
Let me give you a frameworkthat I use with my clients.
It's something that I call the3R method.
The first one step one isrecognize the inherited habit.
(14:10):
Before you can change anything,you have to see it clearly, and
that means taking a hard,honest look at the patterns
you've absorbed.
So ask yourself when do I eatthe most?
What foods do I reach for whenI'm stressed or bored or sad or
whatever?
What did my family do aroundmeals and snacks and celebration
?
What messages did I get growingup about body size, exercise or
(14:33):
hunger?
I can tell you I got all thewrong messages.
It was always okay for me to bethe fat kid.
It was always okay.
Those are the wrong messages.
Look, maybe your parentsskipped breakfast.
Maybe food was always tied toguilt.
You should be grateful, don'twaste it.
Maybe there's always soda inthe house.
There was always soda andsnacks in my house.
Maybe eating out was yourfamily's version of bonding.
(14:53):
Those aren't just quirks,they're scripts.
They shape how you respond tothe world around you and until
you recognize them, you'll keepliving them on autopilot.
The second step is replace thatwith a new pattern.
Once you see the pattern, youcan't just rip it out, but you
can replace it.
People don't do well with emptyspaces, with voids.
(15:16):
If you just try to stopsomething cold turkey with no
substitute, you'll fall rightback into the old groove and
life gets hard.
So here's a couple examples.
If you want to skip breakfast,start by adding something small.
It could be like a hard-boiledegg, a protein-shady piece, just
something small, but eatbreakfast.
If your family use food tocelebrate, create new rituals,
(15:37):
take a walk, light a candle,call a friend, it doesn't matter
.
Do some yoga, whatever it is.
And if stress equals snacks,try.
Stress equals movement, even ifit's just a few stretches or
walking up and down your hallway.
The key is to make it small,doable and easy to repeat.
And then the third step in thethree R's is repeat it until
it's the new normal.
(15:57):
Here's the magic that nobodywants to hear because it doesn't
sound sexy.
Change happens through boring,consistent repetition.
Not overnight, not after adetox or a 30-day challenge, but
if you keep choosing newbehavior, even imperfectly, it
actually starts to stick.
The neurons rewirewire.
The trigger that once led tochips now leads to a glass of
(16:20):
water.
The default slowly changes andthat's when it gets exciting,
because suddenly the thing thatused to feel hard doesn't
anymore.
It's just what you do.
Changing generational habitsisn't just about weight loss.
It's's about liberation.
It's about choosing what staysand what stops with you.
You're not disarming yourfamily.
(16:40):
By evolving, you're building ahealthier legacy.
So if you always believed youwere doomed by your genetics, I
want you to hear this.
You didn't choose the patternsyou were handed, but you do get
to choose which ones you keep.
And every small, quiet,consistent choice you make is
breaking the cycle, not withdrama, not with shame, but with
(17:02):
power.
So let me tell you somethingthat I know about firsthand
Breaking habits is not aboutwillpower, it's about awareness.
When I was 400 pounds.
I told myself all the samestories I hear from my clients
today.
I've always been a big guy.
Food is just my thing.
(17:22):
Hey, it's in my family.
And you know what the truth is?
I believed it.
I believed it so deeply that Istopped questioning the way I
was living, because if you thinkit's just who you are, why even
bother trying to change?
But one day and I mean thatliterally I made a decision, not
a wish, not a maybe someday, adecision.
I was going to lose the weight,not because I had a vacation
(17:45):
coming up, not because I hatedthe way I looked in pictures,
but because I was on the brinkof death.
I was over 400 pounds, my bodywas giving up and I couldn't
keep pretending this wassustainable because I knew it
wasn't.
And before I made a singlechange to what I ate or how I
moved, I sat down and askedmyself one question how the fuck
(18:08):
did I get here?
And I didn't let myself off thehook with excuses.
I didn't blame my genetics ormy stress or my age or my
metabolism or anything else.
I got real.
I got honest and I realizedsomething that changed
everything.
I wasn't broken.
I was stuck in a pattern.
I'd been living out a scriptthat I didn't write, a set of
(18:29):
behaviors passed down from myfamily, never once questioned
until now.
And I'm not blaming my family,it's my fault, I just didn't see
it.
So I'm not passing the blamehere, but I did start seeing all
the little things I did onautopilot and where they came
from.
Like I've always finished myplate, no matter how full I was,
I've always used food tocelebrate or reward myself.
(18:51):
I always cleaned up whateverwas left over.
If you didn't finish it, Iwould.
I ate when I was stressed, whenI was bored, when I was happy,
when I was sad, you name it.
I ate why?
Because that's what I sawgrowing up.
That was my normal In my house.
Leaving food on your plate waspractically a crime, we heard.
Don't waste food, clean yourplate.
(19:13):
There's starving kids somewhere.
I was trained to ignore my bodyand finish what was in front of
me, whether I was hungry or not,and food.
To ignore my body and finishwhat was in front of me, whether
I was hungry or not.
And food, it wasn't just fuel,it was emotionally loaded.
You got good grades.
Let's go get pizza.
Had a bad day?
Ice cream will fix it Gotpromoted, let's celebrate and
let's go out and eat a bigdessert, have dinner and a big
dessert.
Even my mother, she had a habitof making twice as much food as
(19:34):
we needed, just in case.
And guess who always finishedthe leftovers?
Me, not because I was hungry,not because I needed it, just
because it was there and becauseI've been trained that
finishing food was some kind ofvirtue.
And here's the kicker.
I used to joke about sayingthings, just crazy thoughts,
(19:55):
like I'd say, things like I'mjust a big eater, that's just
who I am.
And suddenly it hit me I didn'tinvent this, I inherited it.
I wasn't naturally a big eater,I was just playing out a
routine that I'd watched mywhole life.
And once I saw it, I knew I hada choice.
I could keep blaming my past orI could start building a future
, not with willpower, not withpunishment, but by reprogramming
(20:19):
my defaults.
So I started rewriting my habits.
I stopped finishing my platejust because I could and I'm not
saying I didn't eat, but Ialways tried to leave a couple
bites over.
I asked myself whether I wasactually hungry before eating.
That was a huge one for me.
I was eating four or five bigmeals a day.
So I asked myself am I reallyhungry or am I just eating?
(20:39):
I stopped using food as areward and started using action
instead.
When something good happened,I'd go out for a walk, I'd call
somebody that wanted to hear it,I'd just sit there in silence.
But I stopped using food as areward and I definitely replaced
automatic eating withintentional awareness.
And the change didn't happenovernight.
(21:00):
It happened through repetition.
It was stuff that I had torepeat over and over again,
through stacking habits, one ontop of another, until the old
ones didn't feel automaticanymore.
Because once you realize thatyour identity was actually just
repetition, you get your powerback.
That's what I want you to takefrom this.
You're not doomed, you're notbroken and you're not
genetically cursed.
You're just running on outdatedprogramming and you have the
(21:23):
right and the ability and,honestly, the obligation of your
family to update it.
This isn't about blaming yourparents or your past.
It's about understanding thescript that you were handed so
you can decide whether or notyou still want to live by it.
For me, I took that script andburned it to the fucking ground.
I threw it out, I shredded it,I did all kinds of stuff, and I
wrote a new one, one small,smart choice at a time, and if I
(21:43):
can do it, so can you.
So your takeaway here is youridentity isn't fixed, it's
trained, and you can retrain it.
So, now that you know thattruth, you didn't inherit a fat
gene.
You inherited routines, beliefs, behaviors and coping mechanism
.
You inherited what was modeledfor you.
Most of it wasn't healthy, buthere's the most important part
(22:06):
of everything I said so far youare not stuck, your identity
isn't set in stone, yourpatterns aren't permanent and
your normal can definitely berewritten.
I did it.
I'm telling you, I did it.
Normal can definitely berewritten.
I did it, I'm telling you, Idid it.
Your normal can be rewritten.
Now comes the part thatseparates listeners from action
takers, and, believe me, I was alistener and a watcher for a
(22:28):
long time until I finallydecided to take action.
But this is where you take yourstory off autopilot and put
your hands back on the wheel.
So first thing you do is you gotto spot the inherited habit.
Ask yourself right now what'sone food behavior that you
learned is normal growing upthat you now realize is harmful.
Maybe it's always havingdessert after dinner.
I literally cut dessert out ofmy diet for the first year.
(22:51):
I stopped eating dessertbecause I didn't need it.
I didn't want it and I wouldeat dessert no matter how full I
was.
But maybe it's not eating allday and then binging at night
I'm guilty of that.
Maybe it's treating fast foodas the default dinner plan
multiple times a week For me itwasn't as much of a dinner plan
(23:13):
as it was a late night snackplan.
Or maybe it's the belief thatit's your job to finish
everything on your plate, evenif you're stuffed.
I believed all that shit, butyour job this week is to spot
that thing.
Don't try to fix it yet.
Don't judge it, just notice it.
I want you to become for lack ofa better term a pattern
detective in your own life.
Look at your meals, look atyour portions, look at how you
talk to yourself about food,look at how often you eat from
(23:35):
habit, boredom or emotion ratherthan true hunger.
I think you'll be shocked.
What you uncover might actuallysurprise you.
Then the second step in that isyou got to create a better
version.
Once you've identified andspotted that inherited habit.
Don't just try to remove it.
Replace it.
So let me give you a coupleideas here.
So instead of eating dinner onthe couch in front of the TV,
(23:56):
try eating at the table, evenjust once this week.
No phone, no distractions, justyou and the food.
Be mindful.
Why should you do that?
Because eating with awarenessgives your body time to register
fullness and it helps breakthat binge and scroll cycle.
So, instead of always finishingwhat's on your plate, try what
I just said before.
(24:16):
Leave me over just one or twobites just to prove that you can
do it.
You'll find that it becomesvery easy.
Why do you want to do that?
Because you need to rewire thebelief that leaving food equals
failure.
It doesn't.
It means you listen to yourbody, not your conditioning.
So here's another big one forme Instead of defaulting to
(24:38):
seconds out of habit, trywaiting 10 minutes after your
first plate.
Drink a glass of water and askyourself am I really still
hungry?
I think you'll find that mosttimes you'll say you're not.
Why should you do that?
Because that pause gives yourhormones time to signal that
you're satisfied, that you'refull, something most of us
(24:58):
override every single day.
I know I did.
I would eat and eat and eat,and then after dinner I'd always
oh man, I'm nauseous.
It's crazy when you start tonotice the patterns.
So here's another one.
Instead of using food as areward, try a non-food reward.
So take a walk.
That may not be a reward to youit was not a reward to me but I
could listen to music or Icalled somebody who I enjoyed
(25:20):
talking to.
That was a reward.
So expand your kind of rewardtoolbox.
And then the third step in allthis is repeat it until it feels
natural.
Here's the truth that'll makeor break your progress.
Nothing becomes easy until itbecomes familiar.
You're not going to feelcomfortable eating differently.
At first, you might feelanxious about leaving food on
(25:41):
the plate.
You might feel awkward eatingat the table if you've never
done it before.
I don't know anybody who'snever eaten at the table before.
But who knows?
If you're a TV eater, you mightdon't turn.
If you watch TV in your kitchen, turn the TV off.
Your brain might scream at youhey, this isn't enough, even
when your body is saying it is.
But that's not failure, that'spattern breaking.
(26:01):
You didn't build those oldhabits overnight.
Certainly.
You built them over a lifetime.
And you won't build the newones overnight either.
But if you repeat them.
Even inconsistently, they'llstick.
Progress comes from repetition,not perfection.
That's the mistake most peoplemake.
They try something once itfeels weird and they let it go.
See, I can't change Wrong, youjust haven't repeated enough.
(26:27):
So your challenge this week?
This is all I want you to do noapps, no trackers, no
complicated system.
Just do this.
Spot one of those inheritedhabits, create one better
version of it, repeat it forseven days and write down how
you felt at the end of the sevendays, and not just physically,
but emotionally.
That's how the change starts.
Not with a full overhaul, notwith changing your life in one
(26:50):
minute, not with a 30-daychallenge, but one small, smart,
conscious choice that becomesyour new normal.
You didn't choose the habitsthat raise you, but you do get
to choose the habits that shapeyou now.
So if you're still holding onto that idea that this is just
how you are, I'm callingbullshit on you because I've
been there.
I was 411 fucking pounds.
(27:14):
I lived on autopilot, tellingmyself I was just born that way.
I wasn't, and neither are you.
The difference between the lifeyou have and the life you want?
A series of small, repeated,better choices.
Again, I'm living proof of that.
Start with just one this week,then stack another, then keep
(27:34):
going.
If you do that, I promise oneday you'll look back and realize
you didn't change your body byfighting your genes.
You changed it by rewritingyour routines, and that's what
it's all about.
So I guess let me wrap this allup in a nice little boat.
You've been told a lie thatyour weight is locked into your
(27:55):
DNA, that your body is some kindof genetic trap that you can't
escape.
But the truth is you don't neednew genes, you just need new
choices.
So I want to reiterate thisepisode is not about blame it
never is but it's aboutownership, about looking at the
habits you inherited with cleareyes and deciding what stays and
(28:16):
what ends with you.
Because here's the truth thatnobody's going to tell you If
you inherited it, you didn'tchoose it.
But if you're still doing itnow you are.
That's not a call out, that's afucking wake up call.
You're not powerless, you'renot doomed and you're not stuck.
You're simply running a scriptthat somebody else wrote.
But today, like right now, youget to decide if you want to
(28:39):
keep reading from that page orflip to a new chapter.
So take one habit, replace itand repeat it and remember your
story isn't over, but it won'tchange unless you do.
I'll be out here every step ofthe way.
So now go, make one small,smart choice today and let that
be the beginning.
All right, so if you want toknow how I did it, how I lost
(29:01):
over 100 pounds in the firstyear without any diets, gyms,
shots, pills, anything fancy Ihave a book on Amazon.
It's called Shut Up and Choose,same as this podcast.
We're an Amazon bestseller.
I get emails all the time frompeople telling me they read it
in a day or so and it completelychanged their life, completely
changed the way they looked atweight loss.
They also say it helps in otherareas of their life.
(29:21):
But that's not what I wrote thebook for.
If you're more of a visuallearner, I have a video course
called the Effortless WeightLoss Academy and that's 23 short
videos, probably about five toseven minutes each.
You can watch the whole coursein two hours and it really digs
into the mindset and gives youtips and tricks on how to get
your mind into the weight lossthing.
(29:41):
Because the truth is, if yourmind is not in the right frame
of mind, you ain't going to losethe weight.
It's just not going to happen.
Your mind is the first thingthat has to happen.
Again, that's called theEffortless Weight Loss Academy.
It's available atlearnshutupandchoosecom.
That's learnshutupandcho?
Choosecom.
So those are my commercials.
(30:02):
Hopefully you pulled somethingaway from this.
If you just remember one thing,remember that you didn't
inherit a fat gene.
You inherited somebody else'sroutines and you always have the
choice to fix them.
You always have the choice tomake yourself a better life.
Now, the only thing left to dois to shut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills andwe'll let you in on a little
secret no fucking gym.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
(30:43):
And guess what?
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast where
we cover the noise, the nonsense, all the bullshit that the
internet and Instagram gurus andother jerk-offs are out there
telling you how to lose weight,telling you eat this, don't eat
that.
Then the next week they're wait.
Wait, we were wrong.
Don't eat that, eat this.
It's all a bunch of shit.
You know what to do, you knowhow to lose the weight.
You know how to do it all.
(01:42):
So, anyway, the other day I wastalking to a new client of mine
and he said something.
This is a guy he said was I'vealways been big, it's just in my
genes that line.
Well, I've heard it beforedozens, maybe hundreds of times,
I've said it myself, but forsome reason that day it just hit
me differently.
Maybe it's just how resigned hesounded, like the case was
closed, like there was no pointin even trying, because his
(02:10):
biology had already written theending to his story.
And, to be honest, like I said,I've used that line myself a
lot of times, even though I knowit's not true.
It was just an easy way out forme.
My mother was fit.
My brothers are both fit.
My father, well, him not somuch.
He was also the king of diets.
He did all the diets and allthe fads.
He lost a ton of weight.
Then he put it right back onand I idolized my father.
So by default I kind of didwhat he did.
I looked just like him, I actlike him.
(02:32):
Literally.
When I would walk down thestreet people go oh you must be
Sandy's son.
What should I expect?
I guess I did everything thathe did, and that includes all
the same weight issues that hehad.
I had inherited his fat geneand that got me thinking like
how many people are walkingaround carrying that belief like
it's a death sentence?
How many people have convincedthemselves that they are locked
(02:55):
into their current body, theircurrent habits, their current
life, not because of theirchoices but because of some
mythical fat gene?
I'm not here to tell you thatgenetics don't play a role in
body type.
Of course they do.
Some people have a fastermetabolism, a naturally smaller
frame, a different set point.
But let's not kid ourselves.
What most people call geneticsis really just inherited
(03:17):
behavior.
You didn't inherit obesity, andneither did I.
We inherited portion sizes.
We inherited late nightsnacking.
We inherited a sedentarylifestyle, a stressed out eating
pattern, a tendency to eat forcomfort instead of fuel.
And, most importantly, weinherited a mindset, one that
(03:38):
told us this is just who you are.
And here's the truth.
Most of what we chalk up to DNAis actually just repetition.
It's a tradition disguised asbiology.
Your parents didn't meal prepCertainly mine didn't, so I
never meal prep.
I still don't.
By the way, in my house wenever talked about nutrition, so
(04:00):
, as I got older, I never talkedor thought about nutrition.
In my house, we skippedbreakfast.
We we inhale our dinner infront of the TV.
So that's what I do.
So, congratulations, youprobably do it too, but that's
not a gene, it's a routine, andthe good news is, routines can
be changed.
That's what this episode isabout rewriting the story that
(04:22):
you've inherited.
If you've always been big,always struggled with food,
always felt like it was out ofyour control, I want to
challenge you today, not toblame your past, but to take
ownership of your future.
You're not a victim of genetics.
You're the result of yourpatterns, and those patterns can
absolutely be replaced.
So I'm going to break down howto separate biology from belief
(04:45):
and show you exactly how toidentify the habits you didn't
choose, but you're still livingby and, more importantly, I'll
walk you through how to startmaking different choices,
stacking new habits and buildinga new story, one that isn't
limited by what you were handeddown.
Because here's the thing if youinherited it, it wasn't your
choice, but if you're stilldoing it now it is, so let's get
(05:10):
into it.
So look, you did not inherit thefat gene, you just inherited
your family's routines.
You were not born broken.
This isn't some rogue geneinside of you that said let's
make this one fat, slow anddestined to fail.
That's just not how biologyworks.
But we've been conditioned tobelieve that if we've always
been big, it must be ourgenetics.
I hear it all the time my wholefamily's bigger.
(05:33):
I've always had a slowmetabolism.
It just runs in my blood and Iget it.
Believe me, I get it.
That belief is comforting.
It gives you an out.
If it's genetic, then it's notyour fault.
If it's inherited, then nothingyou do really matters.
So you can stop trying, you canstop failing and just accept
this is your lot in life.
But here's the truth.
(05:53):
What most people call geneticsis actually just generational
habits.
You didn't inherit a fat gene,you inherited a way of living,
and just because your familypassed it down doesn't mean you
have to keep carrying it.
So first let me say yes, ofcourse, genetics are real.
Some people are more prone tostoring fat.
Some people are naturallyleaner.
(06:14):
Some people gain weight faster,some lose it more easily.
That's all true.
But your genetics are not yourdestiny.
They're just your defaultsetting, basically your starting
point.
Are not your destiny.
They're just your defaultsetting, basically your starting
point.
The rest is built by yourchoices, your behaviors and, to
some extent, your environment.
So what actually runs in thefamily?
(06:34):
For most people, it's not afaulty gene, it's a lifestyle
template.
We probably grew up in a housewhere most people were running
late, stressed, and we didn'tprioritize meals.
Breakfast just grab a granolabar, some Pop-Tarts or just skip
it all together, and now youstart your day with caffeine, no
protein and a blood sugar crashby 11 am.
That's not a gene, that's ahabit you absorb because no one
(06:57):
taught you any different.
Another one is cleaning yourplate right.
Raise your hand.
If you heard this growing up.
Don't waste food.
Now ask yourself how many timesyou've eaten past fullness not
because you were hungry, butbecause it felt wrong to leave
something behind.
That's not metabolism, that'sconditioning, that's being
taught to associate in finishingyour plate with being a good
(07:17):
kid and not being wasteful.
Another one and we're allguilty of this you want to know
what?
One of the most common familytraditions that leads to slow,
steady weight gain over time,that's sedentary evenings.
If you eat dinner, then you sit, you watch TV, you have some
snacks, you do a littlescrolling on your phone, drink
some wine, have a drink,whatever it is.
(07:37):
The rhythm becomes a norm.
You didn't choose it, youabsorbed it.
Another one is using food tocope.
This is a big one.
If you grew up in a home wherefood was how you dealt with
stress or sadness or boredom oreven celebration, guess what?
You learned?
That food equals comfort.
Bad day, eat something.
Long week, let's order in Bigwin, let's celebrate with cake.
(08:00):
It's not your body's biologycraving that dopamine hit, it's
your emotional wiring built fromchildhood.
And this is a big one.
This is the biggest one.
This is probably the mostnormalized dysfunction Sugar as
celebration and food as therapy.
Birthday let's have cake.
Graduate and I'm not saying youshouldn't have cake on a
(08:21):
birthday, but graduation cakeGot promoted Dinner out, feeling
down Pizza and ice cream thisritual gets baked in so deeply
by the time you're an adult youdon't even realize you're
reenacting every time somethinghappens, good or bad.
But the real point is what youinherited was repetition, and
(08:41):
that's the key point that I wantto drive home.
Most of what we label as geneticis actually just repeated
behavior.
You've done something so manytimes for so many years in the
same situations with the sameresponses, that it feels like
it's who you are, but it's notidentity and it's definitely not
DNA.
It's just repetition.
(09:01):
And repetition becomes yourstory, your autopilot, basically
your comfort zone.
It becomes easier to believeyou're just built this way than
to face the discomfort of change.
But let me remind you somethingRepetition can work for you
just as easily as it's workedagainst you.
If you can repeat late-nightsnacking for 15, 20, 30 years,
(09:23):
you can repeat walking afterdinner.
It's that easy.
If you can repeat self-loathing, diet cycling over and over,
you can repeat small wins andstacked habits.
You don't have to keeprepeating what you didn't choose
and you don't have to carry thehabits that were handed to you
like a family heirloom.
You can break the cycle thatwere handed to you.
Like a family heirloom, you canbreak the cycle.
(09:43):
It's not just possible, it'spowerful, because once you see
that your bad genes are just badprogramming, you realize that
you're the one holding the penand you can rewrite that story.
So let me give you an example,or paint a little picture for
you.
You're out at a restaurant orwalking through an amusement
park, wherever, and you see it,that family, every member of it,
(10:07):
is overweight or obese Parents,kids, sometimes even the
grandparents, all carryingexcess weight.
And here's the question thatmost people are too polite or
too afraid to ask out loud Doyou really think they all got
the fat gene?
Is that what we're going with?
Four people, three generations,all lost the genetic lottery.
Come on, give me a fuckingbreak.
(10:27):
There's something else at playhere, and you know it.
And I'm not here to shameanybody.
I'm definitely not here toshame anybody, but I'm here to
tell the truth, and the truth isthis isn't about biology, it's
about behavior.
Family didn't inherit somechromosome mutation.
(10:47):
They inherited a lifestyle.
They inherited skippingbreakfast, grabbing fast food
for dinner, living on snacks andsodas, binging on Netflix
instead of walking the dog,using food to celebrate, I don't
know, to grieve, to avoid andbasically to soothe.
They inherited routines, notgenes.
If you followed that familyhome which I didn't, which I
never have because I'm not astalker but if you did follow
them and take a look at theirdaily habits, you'd probably see
(11:10):
no meal planning, no water, nostructured movement, shit, loads
of mindless eating, a lot ofstress, probably not a lot of
sleep and absolutely noboundaries around food screens
or self-care.
That is not a genetic code,that's a household culture.
And guess what?
That culture is learned, it'srepeated and it's passed down
(11:36):
like a family recipe and itproduces the same result every
single time.
So when someone looks at afamily like that and shrug and
said, well, I guess it just runsin the family, what they're
really saying is we neverquestioned how we live.
But here's the good news andthe bad news, depending on how
honest you're willing to be.
If it's a gene, you're totallyfucked, you're fucked.
But if it's a habit, you canchange it.
(11:57):
And that's the part that peopleresist, because changing habits
is uncomfortable.
It forces you to confronteverything you've normalized and
maybe even challenge yourfamily's entire way of living.
That's some heavy shit.
But let me tell you, breakingthat cycle is one of the most
powerful things you can do foryourself, for your kids and for
the people watching, you canactually choose not to pass it
(12:22):
on.
So let's talk about the part ofthe story that comes after
awareness, because once you seethe fat gene probably isn't a
gene at all.
Once you realize that you mayhave inherited your family's
routines, not their DNA, you'releft with a powerful question
what do I do with that truth?
Well, that's kind of where thework begins, because here's the
thing Many of us grew up inhouseholds where certain
(12:44):
behaviors were sacred andunquestioned as religion.
This is how my mother did it,this is how my grandmother did
it, and now it's just me.
I'm not being malicious, it'snot intentional.
In most cases it's not evenconscious, it's just normal.
You grew up watching yourparents eat a certain way,
handle stress a certain way,talk about food and weight in a
(13:06):
certain way, and then, whetheryou realize it or not, you
absorb those behaviors likebackground noise.
You didn't choose them, youinherited them.
And now, as an adult, you mightlook in the mirror and feel
frustrated.
You might wonder why it feelsso hard to change.
You might feel like there'ssomething broken in you, like
you're missing discipline or thewillpower or the fit gene.
(13:26):
But let me offer you a littledifferent perspective, one that
takes guilt and shame out of theequation and replaces it with
truth and power.
You're not broken, you'repatterned.
That and power.
You're not broken, you'repatterned.
That's right.
You are not broken, you justhave patterns, and patterns can
change when you realize thecurrent habits aren't your fault
(13:48):
but they are yourresponsibility.
It opens the door to real,sustainable change.
Not the crash diet, new year,new me kind of bullshit, but the
kind that rewires yourday-to-day decisions until they
become your new normal.
Let me give you a frameworkthat I use with my clients.
It's something that I call the3R method.
The first one step one isrecognize the inherited habit.
(14:10):
Before you can change anything,you have to see it clearly, and
that means taking a hard,honest look at the patterns
you've absorbed.
So ask yourself when do I eatthe most?
What foods do I reach for whenI'm stressed or bored or sad or
whatever?
What did my family do aroundmeals and snacks and celebration
?
What messages did I get growingup about body size, exercise or
(14:33):
hunger?
I can tell you I got all thewrong messages.
It was always okay for me to bethe fat kid.
It was always okay.
Those are the wrong messages.
Look, maybe your parentsskipped breakfast.
Maybe food was always tied toguilt.
You should be grateful, don'twaste it.
Maybe there's always soda inthe house.
There was always soda andsnacks in my house.
Maybe eating out was yourfamily's version of bonding.
(14:53):
Those aren't just quirks,they're scripts.
They shape how you respond tothe world around you and until
you recognize them, you'll keepliving them on autopilot.
The second step is replace thatwith a new pattern.
Once you see the pattern, youcan't just rip it out, but you
can replace it.
People don't do well with emptyspaces, with voids.
(15:16):
If you just try to stopsomething cold turkey with no
substitute, you'll fall rightback into the old groove and
life gets hard.
So here's a couple examples.
If you want to skip breakfast,start by adding something small.
It could be like a hard-boiledegg, a protein-shady piece, just
something small, but eatbreakfast.
If your family use food tocelebrate, create new rituals,
(15:37):
take a walk, light a candle,call a friend, it doesn't matter
.
Do some yoga, whatever it is.
And if stress equals snacks,try.
Stress equals movement, even ifit's just a few stretches or
walking up and down your hallway.
The key is to make it small,doable and easy to repeat.
And then the third step in thethree R's is repeat it until
it's the new normal.
(15:57):
Here's the magic that nobodywants to hear because it doesn't
sound sexy.
Change happens through boring,consistent repetition.
Not overnight, not after adetox or a 30-day challenge, but
if you keep choosing newbehavior, even imperfectly, it
actually starts to stick.
The neurons rewirewire.
The trigger that once led tochips now leads to a glass of
(16:20):
water.
The default slowly changes andthat's when it gets exciting,
because suddenly the thing thatused to feel hard doesn't
anymore.
It's just what you do.
Changing generational habitsisn't just about weight loss.
It's's about liberation.
It's about choosing what staysand what stops with you.
You're not disarming yourfamily.
(16:40):
By evolving, you're building ahealthier legacy.
So if you always believed youwere doomed by your genetics, I
want you to hear this.
You didn't choose the patternsyou were handed, but you do get
to choose which ones you keep.
And every small, quiet,consistent choice you make is
breaking the cycle, not withdrama, not with shame, but with
(17:02):
power.
So let me tell you somethingthat I know about firsthand
Breaking habits is not aboutwillpower, it's about awareness.
When I was 400 pounds.
I told myself all the samestories I hear from my clients
today.
I've always been a big guy.
Food is just my thing.
(17:22):
Hey, it's in my family.
And you know what the truth is?
I believed it.
I believed it so deeply that Istopped questioning the way I
was living, because if you thinkit's just who you are, why even
bother trying to change?
But one day and I mean thatliterally I made a decision, not
a wish, not a maybe someday, adecision.
I was going to lose the weight,not because I had a vacation
(17:45):
coming up, not because I hatedthe way I looked in pictures,
but because I was on the brinkof death.
I was over 400 pounds, my bodywas giving up and I couldn't
keep pretending this wassustainable because I knew it
wasn't.
And before I made a singlechange to what I ate or how I
moved, I sat down and askedmyself one question how the fuck
(18:08):
did I get here?
And I didn't let myself off thehook with excuses.
I didn't blame my genetics ormy stress or my age or my
metabolism or anything else.
I got real.
I got honest and I realizedsomething that changed
everything.
I wasn't broken.
I was stuck in a pattern.
I'd been living out a scriptthat I didn't write, a set of
(18:29):
behaviors passed down from myfamily, never once questioned
until now.
And I'm not blaming my family,it's my fault, I just didn't see
it.
So I'm not passing the blamehere, but I did start seeing all
the little things I did onautopilot and where they came
from.
Like I've always finished myplate, no matter how full I was,
I've always used food tocelebrate or reward myself.
(18:51):
I always cleaned up whateverwas left over.
If you didn't finish it, Iwould.
I ate when I was stressed, whenI was bored, when I was happy,
when I was sad, you name it.
I ate why?
Because that's what I sawgrowing up.
That was my normal In my house.
Leaving food on your plate waspractically a crime, we heard.
Don't waste food, clean yourplate.
(19:13):
There's starving kids somewhere.
I was trained to ignore my bodyand finish what was in front of
me, whether I was hungry or not,and food.
To ignore my body and finishwhat was in front of me, whether
I was hungry or not.
And food, it wasn't just fuel,it was emotionally loaded.
You got good grades.
Let's go get pizza.
Had a bad day?
Ice cream will fix it Gotpromoted, let's celebrate and
let's go out and eat a bigdessert, have dinner and a big
dessert.
Even my mother, she had a habitof making twice as much food as
(19:34):
we needed, just in case.
And guess who always finishedthe leftovers?
Me, not because I was hungry,not because I needed it, just
because it was there and becauseI've been trained that
finishing food was some kind ofvirtue.
And here's the kicker.
I used to joke about sayingthings, just crazy thoughts,
(19:55):
like I'd say, things like I'mjust a big eater, that's just
who I am.
And suddenly it hit me I didn'tinvent this, I inherited it.
I wasn't naturally a big eater,I was just playing out a
routine that I'd watched mywhole life.
And once I saw it, I knew I hada choice.
I could keep blaming my past orI could start building a future
, not with willpower, not withpunishment, but by reprogramming
(20:19):
my defaults.
So I started rewriting my habits.
I stopped finishing my platejust because I could and I'm not
saying I didn't eat, but Ialways tried to leave a couple
bites over.
I asked myself whether I wasactually hungry before eating.
That was a huge one for me.
I was eating four or five bigmeals a day.
So I asked myself am I reallyhungry or am I just eating?
(20:39):
I stopped using food as areward and started using action
instead.
When something good happened,I'd go out for a walk, I'd call
somebody that wanted to hear it,I'd just sit there in silence.
But I stopped using food as areward and I definitely replaced
automatic eating withintentional awareness.
And the change didn't happenovernight.
(21:00):
It happened through repetition.
It was stuff that I had torepeat over and over again,
through stacking habits, one ontop of another, until the old
ones didn't feel automaticanymore.
Because once you realize thatyour identity was actually just
repetition, you get your powerback.
That's what I want you to takefrom this.
You're not doomed, you're notbroken and you're not
genetically cursed.
You're just running on outdatedprogramming and you have the
(21:23):
right and the ability and,honestly, the obligation of your
family to update it.
This isn't about blaming yourparents or your past.
It's about understanding thescript that you were handed so
you can decide whether or notyou still want to live by it.
For me, I took that script andburned it to the fucking ground.
I threw it out, I shredded it,I did all kinds of stuff, and I
wrote a new one, one small,smart choice at a time, and if I
(21:43):
can do it, so can you.
So your takeaway here is youridentity isn't fixed, it's
trained, and you can retrain it.
So, now that you know thattruth, you didn't inherit a fat
gene.
You inherited routines, beliefs, behaviors and coping mechanism
.
You inherited what was modeledfor you.
Most of it wasn't healthy, buthere's the most important part
(22:06):
of everything I said so far youare not stuck, your identity
isn't set in stone, yourpatterns aren't permanent and
your normal can definitely berewritten.
I did it.
I'm telling you, I did it.
Normal can definitely berewritten.
I did it, I'm telling you, Idid it.
Your normal can be rewritten.
Now comes the part thatseparates listeners from action
takers, and, believe me, I was alistener and a watcher for a
(22:28):
long time until I finallydecided to take action.
But this is where you take yourstory off autopilot and put
your hands back on the wheel.
So first thing you do is you gotto spot the inherited habit.
Ask yourself right now what'sone food behavior that you
learned is normal growing upthat you now realize is harmful.
Maybe it's always havingdessert after dinner.
I literally cut dessert out ofmy diet for the first year.
(22:51):
I stopped eating dessertbecause I didn't need it.
I didn't want it and I wouldeat dessert no matter how full I
was.
But maybe it's not eating allday and then binging at night
I'm guilty of that.
Maybe it's treating fast foodas the default dinner plan
multiple times a week For me itwasn't as much of a dinner plan
(23:13):
as it was a late night snackplan.
Or maybe it's the belief thatit's your job to finish
everything on your plate, evenif you're stuffed.
I believed all that shit, butyour job this week is to spot
that thing.
Don't try to fix it yet.
Don't judge it, just notice it.
I want you to become for lack ofa better term a pattern
detective in your own life.
Look at your meals, look atyour portions, look at how you
talk to yourself about food,look at how often you eat from
(23:35):
habit, boredom or emotion ratherthan true hunger.
I think you'll be shocked.
What you uncover might actuallysurprise you.
Then the second step in that isyou got to create a better
version.
Once you've identified andspotted that inherited habit.
Don't just try to remove it.
Replace it.
So let me give you a coupleideas here.
So instead of eating dinner onthe couch in front of the TV,
(23:56):
try eating at the table, evenjust once this week.
No phone, no distractions, justyou and the food.
Be mindful.
Why should you do that?
Because eating with awarenessgives your body time to register
fullness and it helps breakthat binge and scroll cycle.
So, instead of always finishingwhat's on your plate, try what
I just said before.
(24:16):
Leave me over just one or twobites just to prove that you can
do it.
You'll find that it becomesvery easy.
Why do you want to do that?
Because you need to rewire thebelief that leaving food equals
failure.
It doesn't.
It means you listen to yourbody, not your conditioning.
So here's another big one forme Instead of defaulting to
(24:38):
seconds out of habit, trywaiting 10 minutes after your
first plate.
Drink a glass of water and askyourself am I really still
hungry?
I think you'll find that mosttimes you'll say you're not.
Why should you do that?
Because that pause gives yourhormones time to signal that
you're satisfied, that you'refull, something most of us
(24:58):
override every single day.
I know I did.
I would eat and eat and eat,and then after dinner I'd always
oh man, I'm nauseous.
It's crazy when you start tonotice the patterns.
So here's another one.
Instead of using food as areward, try a non-food reward.
So take a walk.
That may not be a reward to youit was not a reward to me but I
could listen to music or Icalled somebody who I enjoyed
(25:20):
talking to.
That was a reward.
So expand your kind of rewardtoolbox.
And then the third step in allthis is repeat it until it feels
natural.
Here's the truth that'll makeor break your progress.
Nothing becomes easy until itbecomes familiar.
You're not going to feelcomfortable eating differently.
At first, you might feelanxious about leaving food on
(25:41):
the plate.
You might feel awkward eatingat the table if you've never
done it before.
I don't know anybody who'snever eaten at the table before.
But who knows?
If you're a TV eater, you mightdon't turn.
If you watch TV in your kitchen, turn the TV off.
Your brain might scream at youhey, this isn't enough, even
when your body is saying it is.
But that's not failure, that'spattern breaking.
(26:01):
You didn't build those oldhabits overnight.
Certainly.
You built them over a lifetime.
And you won't build the newones overnight either.
But if you repeat them.
Even inconsistently, they'llstick.
Progress comes from repetition,not perfection.
That's the mistake most peoplemake.
They try something once itfeels weird and they let it go.
See, I can't change Wrong, youjust haven't repeated enough.
(26:27):
So your challenge this week?
This is all I want you to do noapps, no trackers, no
complicated system.
Just do this.
Spot one of those inheritedhabits, create one better
version of it, repeat it forseven days and write down how
you felt at the end of the sevendays, and not just physically,
but emotionally.
That's how the change starts.
Not with a full overhaul, notwith changing your life in one
(26:50):
minute, not with a 30-daychallenge, but one small, smart,
conscious choice that becomesyour new normal.
You didn't choose the habitsthat raise you, but you do get
to choose the habits that shapeyou now.
So if you're still holding onto that idea that this is just
how you are, I'm callingbullshit on you because I've
been there.
I was 411 fucking pounds.
(27:14):
I lived on autopilot, tellingmyself I was just born that way.
I wasn't, and neither are you.
The difference between the lifeyou have and the life you want?
A series of small, repeated,better choices.
Again, I'm living proof of that.
Start with just one this week,then stack another, then keep
(27:34):
going.
If you do that, I promise oneday you'll look back and realize
you didn't change your body byfighting your genes.
You changed it by rewritingyour routines, and that's what
it's all about.
So I guess let me wrap this allup in a nice little boat.
You've been told a lie thatyour weight is locked into your
(27:55):
DNA, that your body is some kindof genetic trap that you can't
escape.
But the truth is you don't neednew genes, you just need new
choices.
So I want to reiterate thisepisode is not about blame it
never is but it's aboutownership, about looking at the
habits you inherited with cleareyes and deciding what stays and
(28:16):
what ends with you.
Because here's the truth thatnobody's going to tell you If
you inherited it, you didn'tchoose it.
But if you're still doing itnow you are.
That's not a call out, that's afucking wake up call.
You're not powerless, you'renot doomed and you're not stuck.
You're simply running a scriptthat somebody else wrote.
But today, like right now, youget to decide if you want to
(28:39):
keep reading from that page orflip to a new chapter.
So take one habit, replace itand repeat it and remember your
story isn't over, but it won'tchange unless you do.
I'll be out here every step ofthe way.
So now go, make one small,smart choice today and let that
be the beginning.
All right, so if you want toknow how I did it, how I lost
(29:01):
over 100 pounds in the firstyear without any diets, gyms,
shots, pills, anything fancy Ihave a book on Amazon.
It's called Shut Up and Choose,same as this podcast.
We're an Amazon bestseller.
I get emails all the time frompeople telling me they read it
in a day or so and it completelychanged their life, completely
changed the way they looked atweight loss.
They also say it helps in otherareas of their life.
(29:21):
But that's not what I wrote thebook for.
If you're more of a visuallearner, I have a video course
called the Effortless WeightLoss Academy and that's 23 short
videos, probably about five toseven minutes each.
You can watch the whole coursein two hours and it really digs
into the mindset and gives youtips and tricks on how to get
your mind into the weight lossthing.
(29:41):
Because the truth is, if yourmind is not in the right frame
of mind, you ain't going to losethe weight.
It's just not going to happen.
Your mind is the first thingthat has to happen.
Again, that's called theEffortless Weight Loss Academy.
It's available atlearnshutupandchoosecom.
That's learnshutupandcho?
Choosecom.
So those are my commercials.
(30:02):
Hopefully you pulled somethingaway from this.
If you just remember one thing,remember that you didn't
inherit a fat gene.
You inherited somebody else'sroutines and you always have the
choice to fix them.
You always have the choice tomake yourself a better life.
Now, the only thing left to dois to shut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills andwe'll let you in on a little
secret no fucking gym.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
(30:43):
And guess what?
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
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