June 12, 2025 • 33 mins
Candy Coburn returns to Sidewalk Conversations to explore the tension between isolation and integration as Christians seek to authentically represent Christ in the world. Her journey as both a worship leader and bar performer offers powerful insights into maintaining spiritual authenticity while engaging with secular culture.
• The false dichotomy between isolation from culture versus integration with culture
• How holiness refers to heart separation rather than physical distance from the world
• Candy's dual ministry leading worship at "the Barn" while performing in bars and clubs
• Managing sobriety (10+ years) while performing in venues where alcohol flows freely
• Approaching every performance with prayer and the intention to be a "funnel of God's love"
• The liberating nature of sharing our messy stories and overcoming shame
• Finding your unique voice and calling without trying to be someone else
• The importance of taking time to heal from past mistakes before jumping back into ministry
• Excitement for creative, boundary-crossing ministry happening in Austin
Check out this episode from the Above the Treeline featuring Candy Coburn.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Piet Van Waarde (00:00):
Hey, welcome to Sidewalk Conversations.
My name is Pete Van Ward and weevery week have a different
conversation.
We like to say we're talking tointeresting people doing
interesting things, and that isgoing to be especially the case
today.
Now, before we get into theconversation and I introduce my
guest, I would like to set upthe conversation by talking
(00:22):
about a tension that I thinkexists within the Christian
community about what it means toauthentically represent Christ
in the world.
Now, you might suspect thatthat's a pretty straightforward
answer, that everyone wouldagree what that looks like.
But if you start to do a deepdive into what various Christian
thought leaders and influencersare saying about this, you find
that there's a pretty divergentset of opinions about what to
(00:43):
do.
A deep dive into what variousChristian thought leaders and
influencers are saying aboutthis, you find that there's a
pretty divergent set of opinionsabout what to do.
In fact, we might even say thatthere are things that seem like
on the polar opposite ends ofthe spectrum.
Let me give you a coupleexamples.
On one end of the spectrum, youmight have what we would call
the isolation camp.
(01:03):
These are the people whobelieve that when you think
about the culture and engagingit.
It is so broken and so messythat the only way you survive is
by isolating yourself from it.
And they can even quote a Bibleverse by saying from the Old
Testament, where the Lord saysto the people of Israel come out
(01:24):
from among them and be yeseparate.
And they can say it with lotsof enthusiasm.
In fact, perhaps one of theirfavorite illustrations is to say
hey, you know what, when youput a white glove in the mud,
the mud doesn't get glovey, theglove gets muddy.
And I get it.
It is risky, it is dangerous.
But there is another group thatis equally passionate about
(01:46):
their position, and I will callthem the folks that are
integrated in the culture.
In other words, they would sayit's impossible to influence the
culture from afar, and there'sno denying the fact that one of
the great commandments thatwe've been given is to be salt
and light in the world.
And so if you want to haveimpact, you want to have
(02:07):
influence, you have to be a partof the culture.
And they will, too, referencethe statement of Jesus, one of
his last go into all the worldand make disciples.
Now, it might seem right on thesurface that these two positions
are irreconcilable.
How do the isolationists andthe folks who are integrated
(02:30):
have any common ground?
Now, my thought is that thosetwo ideas are actually two sides
of the same coin.
In fact, let me dive into thata little bit.
When you look at the statementof the Old Testament where God
calls his people to come out andbe separate, the reason that he
(02:50):
had such a stern call to themwas he was calling them out of
the moral and cultural decaythat the people of God were
buying into.
So it was not a matter ofphysical proximity as much as it
was a matter of heartdisposition.
They were compromising theirbeliefs by joining the values of
(03:10):
the culture.
So the coming out and beingseparate was a matter of heart,
not of space.
In fact, the word holy that wefind often in Scripture at its
root is this calling out to beseparate, not in space but in
heart.
That's what it means to be holyto separate yourself unto the
(03:33):
Lord in your heart and mind andvalues and beliefs.
And then, when you think aboutbeing integrated, if you have
that foundation, then for allintensive purposes you can be
that light and salt in the world.
In fact, I think every Christianhas to come to grips with the
statements of Jesus, where hecalls us into the world to make
(03:53):
a difference.
Certainly, that was the examplethat he set for us, calling us
to be fishers of men and women.
To go out into the world tocommunicate his truth in a world
that desperately needs it.
To go out into the world tocommunicate his truth in a world
that desperately needs it.
In fact, I think any Christianmessage that does not include
(04:14):
this two-fold mission-mindedapproach of both being holy,
separated to God in your heartand engaged with the culture as
much as you can is an incompletegospel.
In fact, it reminds me of theold adage where we are told that
the only thing that evil needsto succeed is for good men and
women to do nothing, and today'sguest is a person who lives
(04:34):
that out every day and I'm veryexcited about having her back
with me.
She was with us in season oneand I am glad to introduce her
to you here in a moment.
I think you're going to reallyenjoy this conversation.
Before I introduce Candy to you, I want to say a thank you to
(05:04):
our sponsor today, the Van WardFoundation.
There are so many people whoare very generous in their
support of the foundation.
You might wonder well, how doesPete do all these things with
the pocket prayers and thispodcast and the newsletters and
cancer pastor?
Well, it's because I have,first of all, a great team
around me that helps support thework I do, and then there are
(05:25):
generous contributors to thefoundation who regularly,
through Patreon and personalgifts, make a contribution to
the Van Ward Foundation, andthat funds all of this good work
, and so, if you're helped by it, I encourage you to take a
moment and perhaps explore thatfor yourself and be a part of
the team that makes all of thispossible.
So, thank you for all of youwho do so.
(05:46):
Now let me bring you bring yourattention to my guest today, a
good friend, candy Coburn.
Candy Coburn (05:53):
Hi, pete, good to be back with you.
It's so good to see you Lovethe studio.
I love being here.
Piet Van Waarde (05:59):
Oh, thank you for coming back.
Yeah, I know you're so busy andwe have this really great
conversation we're going to have.
But before we dive into thedeep end of the pool, for those
who may not know you or may notremember some of the things that
we talked about the last time,just give us a little thumbnail
sketch about the things that youdo, what kind of keeps you busy
, and that kind of thing.
Candy Coburn (06:19):
Oh, my goodness, okay, how much time we got.
So you know I've done musicmost all my life.
That was the thing that I kindof leaned toward because it was
not that great in school youknew that part.
So been singing, been writingsongs toured for most of my life
, and then now it's more of likea both, and so I get to do that
.
I get to lead worship at abeautiful place every Wednesday
(06:41):
night, the barn.
You've been there, love it.
What a privilege.
It's such a.
I call it the roadhouse forJesus.
So that's super fun and we havedifferent artists and musicians
and painters all kinds of people.
Piet Van Waarde (06:52):
It Super fun and we have different artists
and musicians and painters, allkinds of people.
It is the best kept secret inAustin.
It is the best kept secret,it's so fun.
Candy Coburn (06:57):
We had like 70 people there last night, so it
was a great night.
Piet Van Waarde (07:00):
I love it.
Candy Coburn (07:01):
And it's really an example of like the whole big C
church of Austin, becausepeople are all a part of it from
all over Austin, not just onechurch.
So that's a beautiful privilege.
And then I also sell and buy,help people buy houses, so
that's kind of my outside thechurch wall call and it was new.
Piet Van Waarde (07:20):
So the Lord's kind of you just started that
right.
Candy Coburn (07:22):
Well, I did it back in the past, but it was
kind of like I was kind of doingit on the side and then people
were like and I talked to yoursweet wife and I was like what
do you think about this?
You know, and I think it was areally Jehovah sneaky way he was
like hey, I need you out here,like loving on people over here.
So I'm like, all right, lord.
So I'm doing a lot of differentthings, but it's kind of always
been how I'm wired, kind of howyou're wired, that I always say
(07:44):
we have supernatural batteriesGod gave us to go like let's go
until we go to heaven and thenwe can chill out there.
Piet Van Waarde (07:50):
There you go, all right.
So now let's have thisconversation and first of all,
when we were talking about thisbeforehand, I'm so grateful that
you're willing to have theconversation, because it is
messy, it is complex andespecially given some of your
story which I really want todive into.
I want to focus particularly onthis music side of the equation
(08:11):
, because I think that's such agreat example of how you kind of
straddle the fence, if you will, where you have this one part
of your life, where you're thisabsolutely amazing, beautiful
worship leader at the barn andin other places as well, and
then you also have these gigsthat you do out in the bars and
the community.
You do both.
Candy Coburn (08:30):
Yes.
Piet Van Waarde (08:32):
And there would be some people who would say
how can you do that, like, howcan you on one hand, be with one
quote, unquote foot in thechurch and one foot in the world
?
Don't you put yourself in aposition where you find yourself
endorsing what happens outthere?
So just start with your ownphilosophic, theological way of
(08:54):
doing that.
Candy Coburn (08:54):
When you brought it up I was like this is such a
great topic because I don'tthink it's talked about so much.
Piet Van Waarde (08:59):
Not enough, I don't think Not at all.
Candy Coburn (09:01):
And it's so interesting and it's super messy
I think that's my middle nameso great place for me to be.
But I was thinking about itwhen you asked me about this and
I thought the reason it isdoable now.
It probably wouldn't have beendoable, especially when I got
sober.
You know I've been in recoveryfor over 10 years.
That would have been reallyhard at the beginning, but God
(09:21):
was so kind because, you know,even getting into worship and
learning how to really worshiphim and not like perform, that
was a big process he walked methrough.
And then, you know, I took alittle break from touring and I
really wanted to get my feet onthe ground solidly, like who I
am as a child of God, and Idon't do it perfect every day,
like you said.
That was so nice, that intro,but I mess it up all the time
(09:43):
and sometimes I'm not very muchlooking like Jesus some places.
That is true every day.
But what's cool is now it's nodifferent if I'm in the barn or
a venue, because I'm there forthe same reason and that is to
love, love people, big, so bigthrough music, through a
conversation like this.
(10:04):
That might be at the end of thenight or the middle of the
night or whatever.
I've had the most wonderful Godconversations with people in
bars, sometimes even more than achurch setting.
I can imagine that.
It's so amazing and touches myheart, because people all just
want to be seen and known andloved in the world and that's, I
think, what our job is here.
Piet Van Waarde (10:25):
Are they surprised when they find out
that you're also in this otherworld?
I?
Candy Coburn (10:29):
like singing about some Jesus on the side.
Well, I think the thing is islike I'm really open and
vulnerable about my storybecause it is so messy and you
know, it's such a miracle I'mhere because I really don't
deserve to be, but God's sogracious and wonderful and has
mercy and crazy mercy for me.
So every time that I get to doany kind of music now it's
(10:49):
literally like something like Ican't even believe I get to do
this because I really shouldn'thave been able to.
You know, I did a millionthings wrong, made huge mistakes
, hurt people for years of mylife, you know.
So I think every time I getready to go do anything, like I
pray before every single show ifit's at a bar, anywhere, it is,
whatever, it is a worship night, whatever that we always start
(11:11):
with prayer.
We always start about like withpraising and like saying thank
you, god for whatever you knowto get in the right intention
for why we're there.
Whatever it is, I don't carewhat venue it is.
I had one last weekend that wasa great example of just like new
place, hadn't been there, don'tknow, but, like you know,
stopping everything and going.
(11:31):
You know, I just want to be, Ijust want to be like a funnel
for what you got to say tonight.
I want to be a funnel of yourlove.
I want to be able to noticeevery heart you want me to
connect to tonight, and whenthat happens, it's no different
than a church setting or a barsetting or any other setting,
because it's still.
I can feel it in my heart, likeoh, I can see, I can feel it in
(11:53):
my heart Like oh, I can see.
I can see them connecting tothis song and they'll come up
after it and they'll be like hey, I don't know why I'm crying
and I don't know why I was like,cause God loves you, you know.
And so it's so cool to see howhe hand crafts that.
Now, Pete, because I had nointention to care about what the
Lord was doing when I wastouring.
It was about like doeseverybody know who I am?
Is everybody coming to my show?
(12:13):
How many seats were filled?
That was about me, and somedays I still probably am a
little selfishy on things, but Ijust really want people to feel
loved and I'm so glad I stillcan get to do any of these
things.
Piet Van Waarde (12:27):
So I don't know if that answers your question.
Yeah, no, that's great.
Now I'm going to play thedevil's advocate a little bit.
So let's say there's somebodywho comes up to you and they're
maybe new in their journey andthey're coming out of some crap,
and let's say they're at thebarn and they love what you do
at the barn.
They're like, oh, I finallyfound a safe place.
(12:48):
And then they see something onFacebook where you're at some
club and they're like oh, whatis that about?
How can she go there?
That's the world I came out of.
How can she be authentic on thestage here?
And isn't she endorsing what'shappening there?
What is your response to that?
Candy Coburn (13:10):
I think my response is always like awesome.
Piet Van Waarde (13:14):
That's my answer.
It's like awesome.
Candy Coburn (13:16):
Because everybody's on their journey and
their walk with the Lord.
Piet Van Waarde (13:19):
But if they're being critical of you, like
they're saying how can you dothat girl?
Candy Coburn (13:23):
Yeah, I really don't get offended by that at
all now, because I know I usedto be them.
I was that guy.
I'd be like you know, when Iwas super like you know you have
to be, you have to be one thingor the other thing.
And until I knew that God justloves people everywhere and I
could feel that myself.
You don't get it for others yetyou know.
So I think they're just on theirjourney and I'm always like
(13:45):
Lord, bless their heart, blesstheir heart, because that is a
journey you work For me.
It was a long time to get thatso.
I don't ever really getoffended by that, because I'm
just like okay, I feel that's.
Piet Van Waarde (13:57):
But have you developed a little theology
around it, like why you do it,why you feel free?
Candy Coburn (14:02):
I mean, I think it's so interesting because I
think Jesus is the example, Imean like the original example,
right.
So he was everywhere, thenastiest places, all the time.
And every time I think, and Ithink there's sometimes like, I
even feel like there's likeangels placed in these places,
because it's the only placespeople feel comfortable, or
(14:23):
they've been hurt by the church,or they've been hurt by a
person in the church, right,it's not God necessarily.
And none of us are perfect.
We're just made up of people,so churches are always going to
be messy, but they don't feelcomfortable going there, much
less hearing something.
But if they're in anothersetting that they feel
comfortable in, it's kind oflike we all expect, I think
sometimes in the church like hey, come over here, be like us,
(14:45):
talk like us, understand alltheir language you've never
heard, and then we're going tobe peeps you know like we're
friends, but really Jesus wentout to every area and made them
feel comfortable because it'stheir setting.
So I think that's the differencetoo is like you know, when any
of these settings, that's wherethey're comfortable.
And I mean, I was such a messfor so long.
(15:08):
And now I remember and this isa I was thinking this other day
when you also sent me themessage there was a lady that
was so kind to me about twoyears before I got sober and I
will never forget her talking tome now.
But back then I was just like,well, you know why, is she doing
?
you know, I was like so offendedby her, and now I saw her two
years after I got sober.
(15:28):
I was like oh my gosh, let mehug your neck.
Oh my gosh, I can't believeyou're so right.
But I couldn't hear it or seeit or understand it yet.
So I've been this person and Ithink that's probably why I'm
not, so you get it I get it,yeah, and everybody's on their
journey.
Piet Van Waarde (15:45):
And maybe my way is not right for everybody,
so I'm not saying I got itfigured out yeah.
When you're talking I'mreminded of you know the story
and it's it's such a commonstory.
We hear it talked about all thetime, but you know Jesus talks
about leaving the 99 and goingafter the one.
And what that?
I had a kind of unique insighton that recently, and that is
(16:06):
that somebody who's going to beoffended is by what we do.
You're never going to avoidoffense and Jesus in that they
certainly were by him.
Candy Coburn (16:17):
you know all day that's what I'm saying In that
setting.
Piet Van Waarde (16:20):
Jesus was willing to offend the 99 in
order to go after the one, and Ithink that's kind of where I've
always landed when people arelike I can't believe you wear
Harley stuff and you'll cussoccasionally or you do that, you
know, and I'm like, well, I'mtrying to communicate, I'm
trying to connect and not to saythat I get it right either all
(16:43):
the time.
And I have crossed boundariesand done all kinds of stupid
things, but I feel like part ofwhy God has been so gracious to
me is that my heart, for themost part, was in the right
place, is that my heart, for themost part, was in the right
place.
I was wanting to go after theone that would not necessarily,
like you just said, come to achurch or would relate to a
(17:04):
pastor who was just nice andclean and did everything right
and nice.
I just feel like that's thedecision we often have to make
is who are you willing to offend?
And if you've got to choose,then maybe sometimes it's okay
to offend the 99.
Candy Coburn (17:19):
Yeah, because they're all in the club.
Piet Van Waarde (17:21):
I always say they're the fat sheep, they're
eating.
Candy Coburn (17:24):
they know the deal they're in, but that one skinny
sheep that's out there is aboutto get picked off.
So it takes people that I thinkGod strategically puts that
maybe have been from a mess.
Maybe we're the ones that like,oh gosh, like I can't even
believe.
For me it's like I can't evenbelieve I get to do any of the
things I get to do, certainlyfor the Lord, because I have
(17:45):
messed his name up, obviously aton, and still probably do in
some days.
But it's such a privilege andmaybe that's why I'm like, oh, I
want to just love on them sohard.
You can't stop my love.
I say that all the time, likecan't stop my love.
I'm coming with you, I'm comingat you with my love Because I
needed it so bad during thattime and people kept coming at
(18:09):
me with it and I was like youknow, I was just not loving it
at first and then they just keptloving on me so gently, so
kindly.
And one friend I remember inSpringfield Missouri.
I'll never forget it.
She just told me the truth inlove so kindly didn't judge me
when I was such a mess and shewas my safe place to go to, and
(18:29):
that was outside the church.
You know she loves Jesus morethan anything in the world, but
she's very misunderstood becauseshe does it very radically
different, and so I will neverforget these people in my life.
So I hope we all can get apiece of that.
Piet Van Waarde (18:44):
And it is a calling too right.
I mean, I feel like there'ssome who are called, maybe
primarily, to be encouraging tothe sheep and watch, make sure
that everybody's oh yeah, and goto seminary.
Candy Coburn (18:55):
I would have never cut that.
I would have never made itthrough seminary, I'm pretty
sure.
Piet Van Waarde (18:59):
And then there are those that I have to go up
All right Now, if you're willing.
I'd like to go a little morepersonal, Sure, Because part of
your story.
I heard you on another podcastthis week which was beautiful.
You did such a great job and,in fact, I they did a good job.
Candy Coburn (19:13):
I think I probably said a lot of words really fast
, so hopefully it made sense.
No, you did great.
Piet Van Waarde (19:17):
You did great and in fact I'm going to post
the interview in our notes hereon the bottom.
But part of your story is arecovery story, so you dealt
with alcoholism for a period inyour life I don't remember
exactly how long, but it was agood, I would think.
Candy Coburn (19:34):
Really it's been kind of like it was just kind of
a not great thing most of mylife, but then it was definitely
all consuming for probably agood eight years of my life
before I got sober.
Piet Van Waarde (19:44):
Okay.
So the risk then for you, Iwould suspect, is that you go
back into this world where thatis always in front of you.
How do you make sure thatyou're not adversely influenced
by that environment?
Candy Coburn (20:00):
I think it's number one.
It's all about my spiritualcondition with the Lord, 100%.
I think that things couldbother me, I could be restless
and irritable and all thosethings, but it is literally a
way of life for me.
It's a lifestyle.
I'm heavily involved with12-step program.
I have a community around meall the time to always be
(20:20):
accountable to, and I thinkthat's something God created.
You know like there's lots ofdifferent versions, whatever you
want to pick, but I have tohave people in my life that have
done and been where I've beento remind me all the time.
Like hey and I have to call hima lot like hey, I just did this
blah blah, blah.
You know and have to come clean,and that's how I keep my life
(20:42):
in order and with the Lord and Ihave to start every day with
him and all day talk to him andend my day with him and not be
so hard on myself.
You know, but all of that iskind of like a lifestyle I had
to build and spend time learninghow to live, going in those
places.
Now I don't think about it atall.
I remember when I first gotsober and I will never forget
(21:04):
because I had this residency inAustin.
You play every single week atthis one place.
You know it's this thing and Iwould literally be like I was
just like shaking, I feltterrible, I just felt so
miserable and I would watcheverybody's drinks and I knew
how many they drank and it'ssuch an obsession and crazy
thing that's happening to yourmind during that time.
Certainly getting sober.
And I just remember feeling souncomfortable and thinking like,
(21:25):
should I do this, should I behere?
But some of that communitywould show up and they would sit
there with their Topo Chico'sand be like, yeah, come on, you
know what I was like.
Okay, I can do it.
I can do it, you know, I justkept doing it and, um, the more
time you know invested.
Piet Van Waarde (21:44):
I feel like.
Candy Coburn (21:45):
I would say, like you just get more and more
insurance of like okay, I'm coolwith this now, you know, but I
have to maintain it.
Or I could very easily get intomy head and my ego and be like
I'm doing good because I didstay not drinking for a while in
my life and then it just allcame back with a vengeance
because I didn't have really aprogram in my life that showed
me how to live without having acrutch.
(22:05):
So, yeah, it's a day in one dayat a time, as you know that
saying sometimes a minute at atime, but I don't really ever
feel that urge at all, you know.
Thank, thank the Lord.
Piet Van Waarde (22:16):
How long have you been sober?
Candy Coburn (22:17):
I've been sober over 10 years.
Now.
My birthday is 10, 13, 2014.
That's the day I finally waslike oh, go, help me, Jesus.
But I certainly thought I waslike I'll try this, I'll try
that for many years before thatyou know, and it just failed.
Piet Van Waarde (22:34):
Okay, because God, a full surrender to God, is
just that is the only ticketout.
So on my monologue before wegot together here, I talked
about this idea of two thingskind of being able to live
together.
So, if I'm hearing you correct,that part of being able to be
in the world as an authenticfollower of Jesus is contingent
(22:56):
on that first part, a hundredpercent.
Yes, I need all the Jesus everyday, isolated to the Lord All
the day.
Candy Coburn (23:03):
Yes, and I need a both end.
You know, chris, that's hisfavorite line to say is like my
life is a full both end of bothnow.
Now I couldn't always do that,you know, now I couldn't always
do that, but that is the Lord'sblessing on just being faithful
and really just trying to seekHis will and His wisdom this
whole time.
I'm still learning every day.
(23:25):
Sometimes I'm like, why do Ikeep wanting to do this?
Because I always say it cankind of jump.
I'll think, oh, I'm doing goodover here, but then I'll be real
controlling of my kids orsomething else.
So I have to look at my heartevery day, and many days I don't
have it fully 100%, but that'sthe best thing about how Holy
(23:48):
Spirit's with us and for us, andjust all I have to do is go
Lord, help me right now.
And then it's like he does, butsometimes I forget.
You do.
I know I need a new tattoo,remember that would be my next
one Because, like I forget, sogood you know it's crazy how
every time he will come throughand be there.
(24:10):
But sometimes I'm like, nah, Ijust want to struggle, evidently
because I won't do that, youknow, I know better.
Piet Van Waarde (24:15):
I'm like nah, I just want to struggle,
evidently because I won't dothat, I know better.
So if you were to give advice,let's say there's somebody who's
listening to your story andlet's say they have some skill
or talent in any area.
Let's say it's speaking ormusic, like what you do, and
they tanked, they went down thewrong path, blew up their life,
(24:35):
and the enemy loves to use that,as you and I both know.
He loves to use our failures asdisqualifiers.
Candy Coburn (24:44):
Check out, you got nothing.
Piet Van Waarde (24:46):
You can never do anything, ever again.
You're a hopeless cause.
See, you messed it up andthere's part of that that feels
very real, like I need to facethe consequences of poor choices
.
I need to just suck it up andsay, hey, I disqualified myself,
but what was some of the thingsthat helped you kind of move
(25:08):
past all of that, to say, okay,I think I still may have a
calling, I may still be able tofulfill what God has for me and
speak to the person who's kindof wrestling with that right now
.
Candy Coburn (25:20):
Yeah, for one, take your time, Because I think
that was the key.
When I got to Austin, I wasgetting sober there was this
wonderful person who knew that Ihad toured, and as soon as they
found out, they're like hey,you want to be on the worship
team?
I was like I can't.
Piet Van Waarde (25:36):
I can't.
Candy Coburn (25:37):
And she was so kind to me.
She said, okay, just let meknow.
And I think I stood in the backof that church for two years
just sobbing, learning how toworship On your own Back there
in the back like Alice Cooperlooking.
It was so ugly, but they gave methe time, they encouraged the
(25:59):
time and that was one of thebiggest gifts I ever got from
anyone, because I didn't reallyknow how to do that.
I didn't know how to bevulnerable.
I didn't think, oh, everybody'slooking at me, I'm not going to
cry when I'm worshiping Allthis stupid stuff.
Who made that up?
I don't know Me, I guess.
But then I did that so slowlyand I wasn't really in that
scene immediately getting out inbars and clubs and things like
(26:21):
that.
And then God was so, like Isaid, super kind and sneaky how
he got me into worship on a wayI could do it.
I mean, it was just sohandcrafted to get me into that
so subtly.
So even when and my biggestloudest things were you're not
Kerry Jobe, you're not this, Imean that's all I heard in my
mind and even some big worshippeople that I admired, they kind
(26:44):
of were like, ah, they didn'tget what I did either.
So that was even a tougher beatbecause I'm like oh my gosh, I
admire these people, but I waslooking at them instead of the
Lord for what he had me do,because nobody is built but you
like you, and God needs justyour stamp and your flavor and
your way to do it.
(27:04):
So I would say for sure, yeah,stay true to who you are.
Ask God who am I.
Piet Van Waarde (27:09):
What do?
Candy Coburn (27:09):
you want me to do with this, what you gave me,
because you don't need to modifyit for anyone, you don't need
to dumb it down or pump it up,but it's just exactly what he
will use and he will use it.
And the big thing I was goingto say is that when you're
talking, I was thinking the wordshame, because shame is the
beast of all this, and gettingit out and having that community
and talking and you know,getting counseling, whatever you
(27:31):
need to do to work through,because shame is what keeps you
down, I think the most and it'sthe biggest lie.
But once you start getting intolike really finding out who you
are but it was so slow for me.
So I just want to encourageeverybody to take your time.
You're not in a hurry, you'renot in a race.
Ask God, he will tell you soclearly.
If you just spend quality timewith him, journal your face off
(27:53):
pray your face off, but he juststarted showing me slowly and
then he just walked me into itso gently.
So now I don't have any fearanymore.
Finally Now this is recent ofjust being me.
I don't need to change it.
I'm not Kerry Jobe, I willnever be Kerry Jobe.
And those people all the andthey're wonderful at what they
do, but I was made to be me andI need to do it like me and not
(28:17):
apologize for that, because Goddid not make a mistake how he
made me, and so just you rollwith him the way he made you.
Piet Van Waarde (28:27):
One of the things I think works for you too
and for the person who may belistening who's in that position
.
You are so authentic about whereyou've been and and your own
like vulnerability andbrokenness and I think one of
the scary things for some peopleis that if they're in that
place where they've disappointedpeople and been, you know,
(28:48):
foolish with some things, theyare afraid that if they come
totally clean about all that,that, they will be disrespected.
People go well, who do youthink you are?
Come back and and there arepeople, of course, who do that
but by and large, what you find,especially with the genuine
follower of Jesus because Ithink this is the Jesus
(29:09):
disposition is, you know what?
We're all broken.
Candy Coburn (29:12):
Yes.
Piet Van Waarde (29:13):
We've all made our mistakes.
If you're truly repentant andyou're kind of working on what
it is that made you vulnerableand you know, do the work and
take however much time you needto, then God loves redeeming.
Candy Coburn (29:28):
Yeah, it's never too late, you're never too old,
you're never too fill in theblank, right?
And I think that's another biglie that the enemy does Like oh
yeah, yeah, your time's passed,you missed it all.
Like, oh, actually, thesepeople, they don't want anything
to do with you anymore.
There's an amazing story aboutone of my friends and the story
was basically like somethinghorrifying happened when he was
drinking, ended up sending himto prison, and he gets out of
(29:51):
prison and like the job that itwas his dream job, like nobody
would give this man this jobagain.
Right, what do they do?
Give him that job?
And it's all because of hisfull surrender for what God did.
And he just made this beautifultestimony out of the mess-demony
(30:11):
, right Out of the mess.
It's so good, but his story Iremember I heard it really early
on when I was getting sober.
I was like wait a minute, what?
What happened here?
And he tells a story openly.
And I do have the luxury to getto tell my story openly.
I'm not in a career path thatyou can't tell that you were an
alcoholic or whatever.
Or maybe I just don't care and Ido tell I don't know whatever,
(30:32):
but I think some people that'stough and there's some fields of
work that that's really hard tobe able to be vulnerable and
get help and then be in thosesettings again with some of
those people.
Piet Van Waarde (30:44):
Yeah, all right , so looking forward.
What do you see ahead for CandyCoburn?
What?
Candy Coburn (30:49):
are you?
Piet Van Waarde (30:50):
excited about?
What are you thinking about?
Candy Coburn (30:52):
Well, I think one of your questions was like well,
for me personally, I just, youknow, I want to keep creating.
I just want to be like you know, I just want to keep creating,
dreaming with the Lord.
What's next?
I've got to do so many amazingadventures with the Lord I can't
even believe it, and I knowthere's much more to come.
(31:13):
And I think the city of Austin,it's no mistake I'm here, it's
no mistake the timing you'rehere too, it's so cool and I
think he's just brought peoplehere, at least for my life, that
I love being kind of what Iwould call.
I just love to mother and loveon.
And you know these youngerpeople coming up here that
really are chasing after God andchasing after, like, loving on
(31:35):
the community outside the walls,all of the new creative like
circus of this place.
I can't wait to see what God'sgoing to do with it, because
he's just continuing tocultivate it and it's growing
and it excites me so much whatthe younger generation is doing,
and so all kinds of things Ijust want to keep, you know,
encouraging so many young peoplethat are coming up as worship
(31:57):
leaders or artists in thesecular world that love Jesus,
or, you know painters and allspoken word artists.
I could keep going, but thatreally excites me because I
think that's really where we'regoing to reach people is in
creative ways, and I know it'sgoing to be beautiful.
Piet Van Waarde (32:13):
Lord help us.
Yeah, I think that's so true,so excited.
Candy Coburn (32:16):
And then you know, I think that's a legacy of like
what, how, how differenteverything in Austin can even
look.
So I'm so excited to even seethe change already, since I've
been here to see people goinginto new uh, they've churches at
a tequila place now.
I mean, all these things aregoing on.
That's exciting because it'sjust outside of the box thinking
(32:36):
, and I think you know, we gotto go and love people big and
this is the shot you know we'regoing to give it all we got and
uh, and then I think, for thechurch of Austin, I get really
excited too, because this is thebest city I've ever lived in,
where all the churches reallyseem to really work together
better than anywhere I've lived,um, and it's a great community.
Lots of really cool things arehappening.
(32:57):
So I can't wait to see what'sgoing to happen.
Next Pete and ride mymotorcycle.
Piet Van Waarde (33:01):
Yeah, I'm going to keep riding my Harley I
should have worn my shirt today.
Candy Coburn (33:04):
I'm not giving up my Harley.
Mark Coburn, that's my husband.
Y'all I know we love you guys.
Piet Van Waarde (33:14):
Yeah exactly Well.
Thank you so much, candy.
Candy Coburn (33:18):
This has been so fun.
It's always fun.
Piet Van Waarde (33:19):
I really appreciate it I love you man, I
know you got a lot going on, sofor you to take some time here
means a lot.
I appreciate it.
Candy Coburn (33:25):
Thank you.
Piet Van Waarde (33:26):
All right, and thank you for joining us.
We're so glad that you came andjoin us again next week for
another Sidewalk Conversation.
Hey, welcome to Sidewalk Conversations.
My name is Pete Van Ward and weevery week have a different
conversation.
We like to say we're talking tointeresting people doing
interesting things, and that isgoing to be especially the case
today.
Now, before we get into theconversation and I introduce my
guest, I would like to set upthe conversation by talking
(00:22):
about a tension that I thinkexists within the Christian
community about what it means toauthentically represent Christ
in the world.
Now, you might suspect thatthat's a pretty straightforward
answer, that everyone wouldagree what that looks like.
But if you start to do a deepdive into what various Christian
thought leaders and influencersare saying about this, you find
that there's a pretty divergentset of opinions about what to
(00:43):
do.
A deep dive into what variousChristian thought leaders and
influencers are saying aboutthis, you find that there's a
pretty divergent set of opinionsabout what to do.
In fact, we might even say thatthere are things that seem like
on the polar opposite ends ofthe spectrum.
Let me give you a coupleexamples.
On one end of the spectrum, youmight have what we would call
the isolation camp.
(01:03):
These are the people whobelieve that when you think
about the culture and engagingit.
It is so broken and so messythat the only way you survive is
by isolating yourself from it.
And they can even quote a Bibleverse by saying from the Old
Testament, where the Lord saysto the people of Israel come out
(01:24):
from among them and be yeseparate.
And they can say it with lotsof enthusiasm.
In fact, perhaps one of theirfavorite illustrations is to say
hey, you know what, when youput a white glove in the mud,
the mud doesn't get glovey, theglove gets muddy.
And I get it.
It is risky, it is dangerous.
But there is another group thatis equally passionate about
(01:46):
their position, and I will callthem the folks that are
integrated in the culture.
In other words, they would sayit's impossible to influence the
culture from afar, and there'sno denying the fact that one of
the great commandments thatwe've been given is to be salt
and light in the world.
And so if you want to haveimpact, you want to have
(02:07):
influence, you have to be a partof the culture.
And they will, too, referencethe statement of Jesus, one of
his last go into all the worldand make disciples.
Now, it might seem right on thesurface that these two positions
are irreconcilable.
How do the isolationists andthe folks who are integrated
(02:30):
have any common ground?
Now, my thought is that thosetwo ideas are actually two sides
of the same coin.
In fact, let me dive into thata little bit.
When you look at the statementof the Old Testament where God
calls his people to come out andbe separate, the reason that he
(02:50):
had such a stern call to themwas he was calling them out of
the moral and cultural decaythat the people of God were
buying into.
So it was not a matter ofphysical proximity as much as it
was a matter of heartdisposition.
They were compromising theirbeliefs by joining the values of
(03:10):
the culture.
So the coming out and beingseparate was a matter of heart,
not of space.
In fact, the word holy that wefind often in Scripture at its
root is this calling out to beseparate, not in space but in
heart.
That's what it means to be holyto separate yourself unto the
(03:33):
Lord in your heart and mind andvalues and beliefs.
And then, when you think aboutbeing integrated, if you have
that foundation, then for allintensive purposes you can be
that light and salt in the world.
In fact, I think every Christianhas to come to grips with the
statements of Jesus, where hecalls us into the world to make
(03:53):
a difference.
Certainly, that was the examplethat he set for us, calling us
to be fishers of men and women.
To go out into the world tocommunicate his truth in a world
that desperately needs it.
To go out into the world tocommunicate his truth in a world
that desperately needs it.
In fact, I think any Christianmessage that does not include
(04:14):
this two-fold mission-mindedapproach of both being holy,
separated to God in your heartand engaged with the culture as
much as you can is an incompletegospel.
In fact, it reminds me of theold adage where we are told that
the only thing that evil needsto succeed is for good men and
women to do nothing, and today'sguest is a person who lives
(04:34):
that out every day and I'm veryexcited about having her back
with me.
She was with us in season oneand I am glad to introduce her
to you here in a moment.
I think you're going to reallyenjoy this conversation.
Before I introduce Candy to you, I want to say a thank you to
(05:04):
our sponsor today, the Van WardFoundation.
There are so many people whoare very generous in their
support of the foundation.
You might wonder well, how doesPete do all these things with
the pocket prayers and thispodcast and the newsletters and
cancer pastor?
Well, it's because I have,first of all, a great team
around me that helps support thework I do, and then there are
(05:25):
generous contributors to thefoundation who regularly,
through Patreon and personalgifts, make a contribution to
the Van Ward Foundation, andthat funds all of this good work
, and so, if you're helped by it, I encourage you to take a
moment and perhaps explore thatfor yourself and be a part of
the team that makes all of thispossible.
So, thank you for all of youwho do so.
(05:46):
Now let me bring you bring yourattention to my guest today, a
good friend, candy Coburn.
Candy Coburn (05:53):
Hi, pete, good to be back with you.
It's so good to see you Lovethe studio.
I love being here.
Piet Van Waarde (05:59):
Oh, thank you for coming back.
Yeah, I know you're so busy andwe have this really great
conversation we're going to have.
But before we dive into thedeep end of the pool, for those
who may not know you or may notremember some of the things that
we talked about the last time,just give us a little thumbnail
sketch about the things that youdo, what kind of keeps you busy
, and that kind of thing.
Candy Coburn (06:19):
Oh, my goodness, okay, how much time we got.
So you know I've done musicmost all my life.
That was the thing that I kindof leaned toward because it was
not that great in school youknew that part.
So been singing, been writingsongs toured for most of my life
, and then now it's more of likea both, and so I get to do that
.
I get to lead worship at abeautiful place every Wednesday
(06:41):
night, the barn.
You've been there, love it.
What a privilege.
It's such a.
I call it the roadhouse forJesus.
So that's super fun and we havedifferent artists and musicians
and painters all kinds of people.
Piet Van Waarde (06:52):
It Super fun and we have different artists
and musicians and painters, allkinds of people.
It is the best kept secret inAustin.
It is the best kept secret,it's so fun.
Candy Coburn (06:57):
We had like 70 people there last night, so it
was a great night.
Piet Van Waarde (07:00):
I love it.
Candy Coburn (07:01):
And it's really an example of like the whole big C
church of Austin, becausepeople are all a part of it from
all over Austin, not just onechurch.
So that's a beautiful privilege.
And then I also sell and buy,help people buy houses, so
that's kind of my outside thechurch wall call and it was new.
Piet Van Waarde (07:20):
So the Lord's kind of you just started that
right.
Candy Coburn (07:22):
Well, I did it back in the past, but it was
kind of like I was kind of doingit on the side and then people
were like and I talked to yoursweet wife and I was like what
do you think about this?
You know, and I think it was areally Jehovah sneaky way he was
like hey, I need you out here,like loving on people over here.
So I'm like, all right, lord.
So I'm doing a lot of differentthings, but it's kind of always
been how I'm wired, kind of howyou're wired, that I always say
(07:44):
we have supernatural batteriesGod gave us to go like let's go
until we go to heaven and thenwe can chill out there.
Piet Van Waarde (07:50):
There you go, all right.
So now let's have thisconversation and first of all,
when we were talking about thisbeforehand, I'm so grateful that
you're willing to have theconversation, because it is
messy, it is complex andespecially given some of your
story which I really want todive into.
I want to focus particularly onthis music side of the equation
(08:11):
, because I think that's such agreat example of how you kind of
straddle the fence, if you will, where you have this one part
of your life, where you're thisabsolutely amazing, beautiful
worship leader at the barn andin other places as well, and
then you also have these gigsthat you do out in the bars and
the community.
You do both.
Candy Coburn (08:30):
Yes.
Piet Van Waarde (08:32):
And there would be some people who would say
how can you do that, like, howcan you on one hand, be with one
quote, unquote foot in thechurch and one foot in the world
?
Don't you put yourself in aposition where you find yourself
endorsing what happens outthere?
So just start with your ownphilosophic, theological way of
(08:54):
doing that.
Candy Coburn (08:54):
When you brought it up I was like this is such a
great topic because I don'tthink it's talked about so much.
Piet Van Waarde (08:59):
Not enough, I don't think Not at all.
Candy Coburn (09:01):
And it's so interesting and it's super messy
I think that's my middle nameso great place for me to be.
But I was thinking about itwhen you asked me about this and
I thought the reason it isdoable now.
It probably wouldn't have beendoable, especially when I got
sober.
You know I've been in recoveryfor over 10 years.
That would have been reallyhard at the beginning, but God
(09:21):
was so kind because, you know,even getting into worship and
learning how to really worshiphim and not like perform, that
was a big process he walked methrough.
And then, you know, I took alittle break from touring and I
really wanted to get my feet onthe ground solidly, like who I
am as a child of God, and Idon't do it perfect every day,
like you said.
That was so nice, that intro,but I mess it up all the time
(09:43):
and sometimes I'm not very muchlooking like Jesus some places.
That is true every day.
But what's cool is now it's nodifferent if I'm in the barn or
a venue, because I'm there forthe same reason and that is to
love, love people, big, so bigthrough music, through a
conversation like this.
(10:04):
That might be at the end of thenight or the middle of the
night or whatever.
I've had the most wonderful Godconversations with people in
bars, sometimes even more than achurch setting.
I can imagine that.
It's so amazing and touches myheart, because people all just
want to be seen and known andloved in the world and that's, I
think, what our job is here.
Piet Van Waarde (10:25):
Are they surprised when they find out
that you're also in this otherworld?
I?
Candy Coburn (10:29):
like singing about some Jesus on the side.
Well, I think the thing is islike I'm really open and
vulnerable about my storybecause it is so messy and you
know, it's such a miracle I'mhere because I really don't
deserve to be, but God's sogracious and wonderful and has
mercy and crazy mercy for me.
So every time that I get to doany kind of music now it's
(10:49):
literally like something like Ican't even believe I get to do
this because I really shouldn'thave been able to.
You know, I did a millionthings wrong, made huge mistakes
, hurt people for years of mylife, you know.
So I think every time I getready to go do anything, like I
pray before every single show ifit's at a bar, anywhere, it is,
whatever, it is a worship night, whatever that we always start
(11:11):
with prayer.
We always start about like withpraising and like saying thank
you, god for whatever you knowto get in the right intention
for why we're there.
Whatever it is, I don't carewhat venue it is.
I had one last weekend that wasa great example of just like new
place, hadn't been there, don'tknow, but, like you know,
stopping everything and going.
(11:31):
You know, I just want to be, Ijust want to be like a funnel
for what you got to say tonight.
I want to be a funnel of yourlove.
I want to be able to noticeevery heart you want me to
connect to tonight, and whenthat happens, it's no different
than a church setting or a barsetting or any other setting,
because it's still.
I can feel it in my heart, likeoh, I can see, I can feel it in
(11:53):
my heart Like oh, I can see.
I can see them connecting tothis song and they'll come up
after it and they'll be like hey, I don't know why I'm crying
and I don't know why I was like,cause God loves you, you know.
And so it's so cool to see howhe hand crafts that.
Now, Pete, because I had nointention to care about what the
Lord was doing when I wastouring.
It was about like doeseverybody know who I am?
Is everybody coming to my show?
(12:13):
How many seats were filled?
That was about me, and somedays I still probably am a
little selfishy on things, but Ijust really want people to feel
loved and I'm so glad I stillcan get to do any of these
things.
Piet Van Waarde (12:27):
So I don't know if that answers your question.
Yeah, no, that's great.
Now I'm going to play thedevil's advocate a little bit.
So let's say there's somebodywho comes up to you and they're
maybe new in their journey andthey're coming out of some crap,
and let's say they're at thebarn and they love what you do
at the barn.
They're like, oh, I finallyfound a safe place.
(12:48):
And then they see something onFacebook where you're at some
club and they're like oh, whatis that about?
How can she go there?
That's the world I came out of.
How can she be authentic on thestage here?
And isn't she endorsing what'shappening there?
What is your response to that?
Candy Coburn (13:10):
I think my response is always like awesome.
Piet Van Waarde (13:14):
That's my answer.
It's like awesome.
Candy Coburn (13:16):
Because everybody's on their journey and
their walk with the Lord.
Piet Van Waarde (13:19):
But if they're being critical of you, like
they're saying how can you dothat girl?
Candy Coburn (13:23):
Yeah, I really don't get offended by that at
all now, because I know I usedto be them.
I was that guy.
I'd be like you know, when Iwas super like you know you have
to be, you have to be one thingor the other thing.
And until I knew that God justloves people everywhere and I
could feel that myself.
You don't get it for others yetyou know.
So I think they're just on theirjourney and I'm always like
(13:45):
Lord, bless their heart, blesstheir heart, because that is a
journey you work For me.
It was a long time to get thatso.
I don't ever really getoffended by that, because I'm
just like okay, I feel that's.
Piet Van Waarde (13:57):
But have you developed a little theology
around it, like why you do it,why you feel free?
Candy Coburn (14:02):
I mean, I think it's so interesting because I
think Jesus is the example, Imean like the original example,
right.
So he was everywhere, thenastiest places, all the time.
And every time I think, and Ithink there's sometimes like, I
even feel like there's likeangels placed in these places,
because it's the only placespeople feel comfortable, or
(14:23):
they've been hurt by the church,or they've been hurt by a
person in the church, right,it's not God necessarily.
And none of us are perfect.
We're just made up of people,so churches are always going to
be messy, but they don't feelcomfortable going there, much
less hearing something.
But if they're in anothersetting that they feel
comfortable in, it's kind oflike we all expect, I think
sometimes in the church like hey, come over here, be like us,
(14:45):
talk like us, understand alltheir language you've never
heard, and then we're going tobe peeps you know like we're
friends, but really Jesus wentout to every area and made them
feel comfortable because it'stheir setting.
So I think that's the differencetoo is like you know, when any
of these settings, that's wherethey're comfortable.
And I mean, I was such a messfor so long.
(15:08):
And now I remember and this isa I was thinking this other day
when you also sent me themessage there was a lady that
was so kind to me about twoyears before I got sober and I
will never forget her talking tome now.
But back then I was just like,well, you know why, is she doing
?
you know, I was like so offendedby her, and now I saw her two
years after I got sober.
(15:28):
I was like oh my gosh, let mehug your neck.
Oh my gosh, I can't believeyou're so right.
But I couldn't hear it or seeit or understand it yet.
So I've been this person and Ithink that's probably why I'm
not, so you get it I get it,yeah, and everybody's on their
journey.
Piet Van Waarde (15:45):
And maybe my way is not right for everybody,
so I'm not saying I got itfigured out yeah.
When you're talking I'mreminded of you know the story
and it's it's such a commonstory.
We hear it talked about all thetime, but you know Jesus talks
about leaving the 99 and goingafter the one.
And what that?
I had a kind of unique insighton that recently, and that is
(16:06):
that somebody who's going to beoffended is by what we do.
You're never going to avoidoffense and Jesus in that they
certainly were by him.
Candy Coburn (16:17):
you know all day that's what I'm saying In that
setting.
Piet Van Waarde (16:20):
Jesus was willing to offend the 99 in
order to go after the one, and Ithink that's kind of where I've
always landed when people arelike I can't believe you wear
Harley stuff and you'll cussoccasionally or you do that, you
know, and I'm like, well, I'mtrying to communicate, I'm
trying to connect and not to saythat I get it right either all
(16:43):
the time.
And I have crossed boundariesand done all kinds of stupid
things, but I feel like part ofwhy God has been so gracious to
me is that my heart, for themost part, was in the right
place, is that my heart, for themost part, was in the right
place.
I was wanting to go after theone that would not necessarily,
like you just said, come to achurch or would relate to a
(17:04):
pastor who was just nice andclean and did everything right
and nice.
I just feel like that's thedecision we often have to make
is who are you willing to offend?
And if you've got to choose,then maybe sometimes it's okay
to offend the 99.
Candy Coburn (17:19):
Yeah, because they're all in the club.
Piet Van Waarde (17:21):
I always say they're the fat sheep, they're
eating.
Candy Coburn (17:24):
they know the deal they're in, but that one skinny
sheep that's out there is aboutto get picked off.
So it takes people that I thinkGod strategically puts that
maybe have been from a mess.
Maybe we're the ones that like,oh gosh, like I can't even
believe.
For me it's like I can't evenbelieve I get to do any of the
things I get to do, certainlyfor the Lord, because I have
(17:45):
messed his name up, obviously aton, and still probably do in
some days.
But it's such a privilege andmaybe that's why I'm like, oh, I
want to just love on them sohard.
You can't stop my love.
I say that all the time, likecan't stop my love.
I'm coming with you, I'm comingat you with my love Because I
needed it so bad during thattime and people kept coming at
(18:09):
me with it and I was like youknow, I was just not loving it
at first and then they just keptloving on me so gently, so
kindly.
And one friend I remember inSpringfield Missouri.
I'll never forget it.
She just told me the truth inlove so kindly didn't judge me
when I was such a mess and shewas my safe place to go to, and
(18:29):
that was outside the church.
You know she loves Jesus morethan anything in the world, but
she's very misunderstood becauseshe does it very radically
different, and so I will neverforget these people in my life.
So I hope we all can get apiece of that.
Piet Van Waarde (18:44):
And it is a calling too right.
I mean, I feel like there'ssome who are called, maybe
primarily, to be encouraging tothe sheep and watch, make sure
that everybody's oh yeah, and goto seminary.
Candy Coburn (18:55):
I would have never cut that.
I would have never made itthrough seminary, I'm pretty
sure.
Piet Van Waarde (18:59):
And then there are those that I have to go up
All right Now, if you're willing.
I'd like to go a little morepersonal, Sure, Because part of
your story.
I heard you on another podcastthis week which was beautiful.
You did such a great job and,in fact, I they did a good job.
Candy Coburn (19:13):
I think I probably said a lot of words really fast
, so hopefully it made sense.
No, you did great.
Piet Van Waarde (19:17):
You did great and in fact I'm going to post
the interview in our notes hereon the bottom.
But part of your story is arecovery story, so you dealt
with alcoholism for a period inyour life I don't remember
exactly how long, but it was agood, I would think.
Candy Coburn (19:34):
Really it's been kind of like it was just kind of
a not great thing most of mylife, but then it was definitely
all consuming for probably agood eight years of my life
before I got sober.
Piet Van Waarde (19:44):
Okay.
So the risk then for you, Iwould suspect, is that you go
back into this world where thatis always in front of you.
How do you make sure thatyou're not adversely influenced
by that environment?
Candy Coburn (20:00):
I think it's number one.
It's all about my spiritualcondition with the Lord, 100%.
I think that things couldbother me, I could be restless
and irritable and all thosethings, but it is literally a
way of life for me.
It's a lifestyle.
I'm heavily involved with12-step program.
I have a community around meall the time to always be
(20:20):
accountable to, and I thinkthat's something God created.
You know like there's lots ofdifferent versions, whatever you
want to pick, but I have tohave people in my life that have
done and been where I've beento remind me all the time.
Like hey and I have to call hima lot like hey, I just did this
blah blah, blah.
You know and have to come clean,and that's how I keep my life
(20:42):
in order and with the Lord and Ihave to start every day with
him and all day talk to him andend my day with him and not be
so hard on myself.
You know, but all of that iskind of like a lifestyle I had
to build and spend time learninghow to live, going in those
places.
Now I don't think about it atall.
I remember when I first gotsober and I will never forget
(21:04):
because I had this residency inAustin.
You play every single week atthis one place.
You know it's this thing and Iwould literally be like I was
just like shaking, I feltterrible, I just felt so
miserable and I would watcheverybody's drinks and I knew
how many they drank and it'ssuch an obsession and crazy
thing that's happening to yourmind during that time.
Certainly getting sober.
And I just remember feeling souncomfortable and thinking like,
(21:25):
should I do this, should I behere?
But some of that communitywould show up and they would sit
there with their Topo Chico'sand be like, yeah, come on, you
know what I was like.
Okay, I can do it.
I can do it, you know, I justkept doing it and, um, the more
time you know invested.
Piet Van Waarde (21:44):
I feel like.
Candy Coburn (21:45):
I would say, like you just get more and more
insurance of like okay, I'm coolwith this now, you know, but I
have to maintain it.
Or I could very easily get intomy head and my ego and be like
I'm doing good because I didstay not drinking for a while in
my life and then it just allcame back with a vengeance
because I didn't have really aprogram in my life that showed
me how to live without having acrutch.
(22:05):
So, yeah, it's a day in one dayat a time, as you know that
saying sometimes a minute at atime, but I don't really ever
feel that urge at all, you know.
Thank, thank the Lord.
Piet Van Waarde (22:16):
How long have you been sober?
Candy Coburn (22:17):
I've been sober over 10 years.
Now.
My birthday is 10, 13, 2014.
That's the day I finally waslike oh, go, help me, Jesus.
But I certainly thought I waslike I'll try this, I'll try
that for many years before thatyou know, and it just failed.
Piet Van Waarde (22:34):
Okay, because God, a full surrender to God, is
just that is the only ticketout.
So on my monologue before wegot together here, I talked
about this idea of two thingskind of being able to live
together.
So, if I'm hearing you correct,that part of being able to be
in the world as an authenticfollower of Jesus is contingent
(22:56):
on that first part, a hundredpercent.
Yes, I need all the Jesus everyday, isolated to the Lord All
the day.
Candy Coburn (23:03):
Yes, and I need a both end.
You know, chris, that's hisfavorite line to say is like my
life is a full both end of bothnow.
Now I couldn't always do that,you know, now I couldn't always
do that, but that is the Lord'sblessing on just being faithful
and really just trying to seekHis will and His wisdom this
whole time.
I'm still learning every day.
(23:25):
Sometimes I'm like, why do Ikeep wanting to do this?
Because I always say it cankind of jump.
I'll think, oh, I'm doing goodover here, but then I'll be real
controlling of my kids orsomething else.
So I have to look at my heartevery day, and many days I don't
have it fully 100%, but that'sthe best thing about how Holy
(23:48):
Spirit's with us and for us, andjust all I have to do is go
Lord, help me right now.
And then it's like he does, butsometimes I forget.
You do.
I know I need a new tattoo,remember that would be my next
one Because, like I forget, sogood you know it's crazy how
every time he will come throughand be there.
(24:10):
But sometimes I'm like, nah, Ijust want to struggle, evidently
because I won't do that, youknow, I know better.
Piet Van Waarde (24:15):
I'm like nah, I just want to struggle,
evidently because I won't dothat, I know better.
So if you were to give advice,let's say there's somebody who's
listening to your story andlet's say they have some skill
or talent in any area.
Let's say it's speaking ormusic, like what you do, and
they tanked, they went down thewrong path, blew up their life,
(24:35):
and the enemy loves to use that,as you and I both know.
He loves to use our failures asdisqualifiers.
Candy Coburn (24:44):
Check out, you got nothing.
Piet Van Waarde (24:46):
You can never do anything, ever again.
You're a hopeless cause.
See, you messed it up andthere's part of that that feels
very real, like I need to facethe consequences of poor choices
.
I need to just suck it up andsay, hey, I disqualified myself,
but what was some of the thingsthat helped you kind of move
(25:08):
past all of that, to say, okay,I think I still may have a
calling, I may still be able tofulfill what God has for me and
speak to the person who's kindof wrestling with that right now
.
Candy Coburn (25:20):
Yeah, for one, take your time, Because I think
that was the key.
When I got to Austin, I wasgetting sober there was this
wonderful person who knew that Ihad toured, and as soon as they
found out, they're like hey,you want to be on the worship
team?
I was like I can't.
Piet Van Waarde (25:36):
I can't.
Candy Coburn (25:37):
And she was so kind to me.
She said, okay, just let meknow.
And I think I stood in the backof that church for two years
just sobbing, learning how toworship On your own Back there
in the back like Alice Cooperlooking.
It was so ugly, but they gave methe time, they encouraged the
(25:59):
time and that was one of thebiggest gifts I ever got from
anyone, because I didn't reallyknow how to do that.
I didn't know how to bevulnerable.
I didn't think, oh, everybody'slooking at me, I'm not going to
cry when I'm worshiping Allthis stupid stuff.
Who made that up?
I don't know Me, I guess.
But then I did that so slowlyand I wasn't really in that
scene immediately getting out inbars and clubs and things like
(26:21):
that.
And then God was so, like Isaid, super kind and sneaky how
he got me into worship on a wayI could do it.
I mean, it was just sohandcrafted to get me into that
so subtly.
So even when and my biggestloudest things were you're not
Kerry Jobe, you're not this, Imean that's all I heard in my
mind and even some big worshippeople that I admired, they kind
(26:44):
of were like, ah, they didn'tget what I did either.
So that was even a tougher beatbecause I'm like oh my gosh, I
admire these people, but I waslooking at them instead of the
Lord for what he had me do,because nobody is built but you
like you, and God needs justyour stamp and your flavor and
your way to do it.
(27:04):
So I would say for sure, yeah,stay true to who you are.
Ask God who am I.
Piet Van Waarde (27:09):
What do?
Candy Coburn (27:09):
you want me to do with this, what you gave me,
because you don't need to modifyit for anyone, you don't need
to dumb it down or pump it up,but it's just exactly what he
will use and he will use it.
And the big thing I was goingto say is that when you're
talking, I was thinking the wordshame, because shame is the
beast of all this, and gettingit out and having that community
and talking and you know,getting counseling, whatever you
(27:31):
need to do to work through,because shame is what keeps you
down, I think the most and it'sthe biggest lie.
But once you start getting intolike really finding out who you
are but it was so slow for me.
So I just want to encourageeverybody to take your time.
You're not in a hurry, you'renot in a race.
Ask God, he will tell you soclearly.
If you just spend quality timewith him, journal your face off
(27:53):
pray your face off, but he juststarted showing me slowly and
then he just walked me into itso gently.
So now I don't have any fearanymore.
Finally Now this is recent ofjust being me.
I don't need to change it.
I'm not Kerry Jobe, I willnever be Kerry Jobe.
And those people all the andthey're wonderful at what they
do, but I was made to be me andI need to do it like me and not
(28:17):
apologize for that, because Goddid not make a mistake how he
made me, and so just you rollwith him the way he made you.
Piet Van Waarde (28:27):
One of the things I think works for you too
and for the person who may belistening who's in that position
.
You are so authentic about whereyou've been and and your own
like vulnerability andbrokenness and I think one of
the scary things for some peopleis that if they're in that
place where they've disappointedpeople and been, you know,
(28:48):
foolish with some things, theyare afraid that if they come
totally clean about all that,that, they will be disrespected.
People go well, who do youthink you are?
Come back and and there arepeople, of course, who do that
but by and large, what you find,especially with the genuine
follower of Jesus because Ithink this is the Jesus
(29:09):
disposition is, you know what?
We're all broken.
Candy Coburn (29:12):
Yes.
Piet Van Waarde (29:13):
We've all made our mistakes.
If you're truly repentant andyou're kind of working on what
it is that made you vulnerableand you know, do the work and
take however much time you needto, then God loves redeeming.
Candy Coburn (29:28):
Yeah, it's never too late, you're never too old,
you're never too fill in theblank, right?
And I think that's another biglie that the enemy does Like oh
yeah, yeah, your time's passed,you missed it all.
Like, oh, actually, thesepeople, they don't want anything
to do with you anymore.
There's an amazing story aboutone of my friends and the story
was basically like somethinghorrifying happened when he was
drinking, ended up sending himto prison, and he gets out of
(29:51):
prison and like the job that itwas his dream job, like nobody
would give this man this jobagain.
Right, what do they do?
Give him that job?
And it's all because of hisfull surrender for what God did.
And he just made this beautifultestimony out of the mess-demony
(30:11):
, right Out of the mess.
It's so good, but his story Iremember I heard it really early
on when I was getting sober.
I was like wait a minute, what?
What happened here?
And he tells a story openly.
And I do have the luxury to getto tell my story openly.
I'm not in a career path thatyou can't tell that you were an
alcoholic or whatever.
Or maybe I just don't care and Ido tell I don't know whatever,
(30:32):
but I think some people that'stough and there's some fields of
work that that's really hard tobe able to be vulnerable and
get help and then be in thosesettings again with some of
those people.
Piet Van Waarde (30:44):
Yeah, all right , so looking forward.
What do you see ahead for CandyCoburn?
What?
Candy Coburn (30:49):
are you?
Piet Van Waarde (30:50):
excited about?
What are you thinking about?
Candy Coburn (30:52):
Well, I think one of your questions was like well,
for me personally, I just, youknow, I want to keep creating.
I just want to be like you know, I just want to keep creating,
dreaming with the Lord.
What's next?
I've got to do so many amazingadventures with the Lord I can't
even believe it, and I knowthere's much more to come.
(31:13):
And I think the city of Austin,it's no mistake I'm here, it's
no mistake the timing you'rehere too, it's so cool and I
think he's just brought peoplehere, at least for my life, that
I love being kind of what Iwould call.
I just love to mother and loveon.
And you know these youngerpeople coming up here that
really are chasing after God andchasing after, like, loving on
(31:35):
the community outside the walls,all of the new creative like
circus of this place.
I can't wait to see what God'sgoing to do with it, because
he's just continuing tocultivate it and it's growing
and it excites me so much whatthe younger generation is doing,
and so all kinds of things Ijust want to keep, you know,
encouraging so many young peoplethat are coming up as worship
(31:57):
leaders or artists in thesecular world that love Jesus,
or, you know painters and allspoken word artists.
I could keep going, but thatreally excites me because I
think that's really where we'regoing to reach people is in
creative ways, and I know it'sgoing to be beautiful.
Piet Van Waarde (32:13):
Lord help us.
Yeah, I think that's so true,so excited.
Candy Coburn (32:16):
And then you know, I think that's a legacy of like
what, how, how differenteverything in Austin can even
look.
So I'm so excited to even seethe change already, since I've
been here to see people goinginto new uh, they've churches at
a tequila place now.
I mean, all these things aregoing on.
That's exciting because it'sjust outside of the box thinking
(32:36):
, and I think you know, we gotto go and love people big and
this is the shot you know we'regoing to give it all we got and
uh, and then I think, for thechurch of Austin, I get really
excited too, because this is thebest city I've ever lived in,
where all the churches reallyseem to really work together
better than anywhere I've lived,um, and it's a great community.
Lots of really cool things arehappening.
(32:57):
So I can't wait to see what'sgoing to happen.
Next Pete and ride mymotorcycle.
Piet Van Waarde (33:01):
Yeah, I'm going to keep riding my Harley I
should have worn my shirt today.
Candy Coburn (33:04):
I'm not giving up my Harley.
Mark Coburn, that's my husband.
Y'all I know we love you guys.
Piet Van Waarde (33:14):
Yeah exactly Well.
Thank you so much, candy.
Candy Coburn (33:18):
This has been so fun.
It's always fun.
Piet Van Waarde (33:19):
I really appreciate it I love you man, I
know you got a lot going on, sofor you to take some time here
means a lot.
I appreciate it.
Candy Coburn (33:25):
Thank you.
Piet Van Waarde (33:26):
All right, and thank you for joining us.
We're so glad that you came andjoin us again next week for
another Sidewalk Conversation.
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