May 1, 2025 • 35 mins
Valerie shares her powerful journey from growing up on a Texas farm to finding redemption through adoption and learning to listen to God's voice in unexpected ways.
• Lived on a small farm in Texas for the first 17 years of her life
• Found healing and family when adopted by a childless couple from her church
• Stepped down from youth ministry after 10+ years when God clearly said it was time
• Became a full-time caregiver for her mother-in-law during her final seven weeks
• Learned that "good doesn't always mean right" when discerning God's will
• Discovered the challenge and blessing of "being still" as an extrovert who thrives on connection
• Encourages adults to listen to youth perspectives and take their spiritual suggestions seriously
• Finds purpose in obedience even when it means waiting without clear direction
"Can I have some type of direction? Like this way, that way?" God's answer: "Be still... Wait."
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So how long was that?
How long did you live on thefarm?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
First 17 years of my life, no kidding.
Yes, all right.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
And so you did all the chores and had to get busy.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Up and feeding the animals before the half-mile
hike to the bus stop.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Uphill both ways right.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh no?
Well, yes, because it wasextremely hilly and there was
one higher hill.
When we rode our bicycles, itwas great riding it down towards
the bus stop, because then youcould just go over the next one,
but going home wasn't as easy.
So where'd you leave your bike?
We just leaned it up againstthe fence.
It was a dirt road down to themain road and nobody took it
(00:41):
back in the day.
No, the funnest part of my kids'favorite part of this is there
are times that I actually rodemy horse to the bus stop, left
it in a neighbor's pasture androde it home.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
All right, well, I think we'll get started.
Just say welcome to our guestsand our fans who have joined us
on another episode of SidewalkConversations.
I'm so glad that you have takensome time to spend this time
with us.
I'm excited about my guests.
But before I introduce Valerie,let me just say a thank you to
my sponsors.
Today.
I want to thank TenfoldCounseling out of Kansas City,
(01:32):
missouri.
They do such great work andthey actually have connections
around the country, so they doZoom counseling as well as
in-person counseling and ifyou'd like to get some help,
they would be people who youshould call.
And I just want to say thanksfor helping sponsor this episode
, along with my other sponsorswho are so regularly faithful
(01:53):
about giving and sharing, so soappreciative.
Today the guest is Valerie.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
And I thank you for being here.
You know it's kind ofinteresting.
I have to tell the story.
So I was doing a guest speakingat your church and we got into
a conversation afterwards and Iwas so fascinated by your story
I said hey, I know this may be abig ask People sometimes are a
little reluctant but would yoube willing to be on my podcast?
(02:21):
And you did not hesitate, yousaid yes right away and I think
you said something like you know, the Lord's just been laying on
my heart that whenever I'mgiven an opportunity to share my
story, I should say yes and soyou did.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
He has been telling me for years and years and years
that my story, my experiencesand the way that he has worked
through everything is somethingthat I'm supposed to share, and
I love it.
It is the easiest thing for meto do, whether it's a one-on-one
audience, whether it's talkingto a group of people.
It excites me to show what Godhas done.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Because there's no way that each step could be a
coincidence, there's no way thatit could be something that I
did and just being so close tohim I can see, yeah, this is his
hand in his direction andsometimes I wish it would get a
little bit of warning, but hedoesn't always do that.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well, thank you for saying yes, and I'm going to
begin at the beginning of yourstory.
Yes, so tell me a little bitabout where you grew up, how you
were raised.
Maybe some key influences?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
For the first 17 years of my life I spent living
with my biological family on asmall farm in Texas and raised
animals and spent a lot of timeoutside working with that.
Right about 17, I turned mybiological father in for abuse
and oh dang.
(03:49):
You know what God has used thatin amazing ways, but in doing
that, god had alreadyorchestrated.
From before I was born, acouple who was unable to have
children got married and theystarted coming back to church,
or started coming to church andcame to the church that I grew
(04:10):
up in, and just the path tomeeting them was amazing.
Not only that, but being ableto, I was supposed to stay with
them for the weekend.
It's been a really long weekend.
I actually asked them to adoptme after I got married and that
has been amazing.
(04:31):
It's given.
You know, for mom it was 15years from the time that she had
a hysterectomy right after theygot married until I came into
their life.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Wow, wow.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
And she never expected to have a child, much
less grandchildren, and you know, see them get married and all
of that, and it's been anamazing God.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
What a beautiful redemptive story.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Very much a God journey, yeah, wow.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Well, and my next question is kind of related to
that.
You know, part of what Ilearned when we were sharing
this story was that you've had anumber of different, what I'll
call challenge spikes in yourlife where things went a very
different direction than whatyou thought, and I just want to
see if you'd give me somehighlights about that and then
(05:27):
maybe exactly how God met you inthe midst of some of those
challenges.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
So the most recent one, I would say, was beginning
of June.
God told me and he had kind ofsaid, think about stepping down
from youth.
And I'd been working with theyouth at our church for more
than 10 years, maybe closer to12.
I'm not sure, but they're mykids, mine.
And I'm like he's like maybeit's time to step down.
(05:52):
And I'm like, are you sure, God?
And he's like, well, thinkabout it.
And I'm like, okay, you're nottelling me yet.
Okay, and 2020, we had a littlebit of break because of COVID
and all of that, and I was likeso refreshed, coming back and
excited to be with the youthagain.
And then the first Wednesday inJune, God says I'm on the way
(06:14):
to church for prayer and praiseservice and it's like step down
from youth.
Wait, what do you?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
none of these are my, my kids let me just call time
out real quick.
So when you say because I'mjust curious how this happens
for people when you say godspoke to you or told you
something, what does that feellike?
Like, is it as something thatyou kind of have as a voice
that's kind of louder than yourown voice and your own spirit,
(06:46):
how do you recognize that asquote unquote God's voice?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
It's not.
I didn't hear an audible voice,but it's just like I feel, like
it's so hard to describebecause I know that it's not me,
because that's 100% againstwhat.
I want to do I don't want toleave my kids.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
So it's a thought that just feels very compelling
yes and.
I know this from my ownexperiences with this.
It's like you get to a place inlife where you start to
recognize God's voice, thepassage you know the sheep
recognize the shepherd's voice,and it becomes like that, right?
So okay, finish the story.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And I was like, okay, and I'm sitting there and I'm
ruminating on it, but I'm notsaying anything to anyone else
and the entire service peoplecame up to pray and whatever
they prayed confirmed to me it'stime to step down the worship
songs and I don't remember whatthey were at this point, but it
(07:51):
was like step down.
So I'm like, okay, god, well,what am I supposed to do?
And you know, god, I feel likehe answers me in a way that I'm
not a quiet person and I have alittle bit of attitude and I
feel like he went obey and I'mlike I can't argue with that.
(08:15):
How do you argue with when Godsays just obey.
And so I did.
And I went to Jacqueline, ouryouth pastor, and I'm like
Jacqueline God's told me that Ineed to step down.
This month is my last monthworking with youth and there
were a lot of things.
It wasn't the most convenienttime, but you know, one of the
(08:36):
other youth leaders is like isthis because there's hurt or
rejection or something you'reupset about?
And I'm like, no, I reallydon't want to, but I want to
obey.
That's what he's called me todo is to obey and to follow what
he's saying.
So when I talked to Jacqueline,she's like, okay, well, you
(08:56):
lead Bible study.
What about Bible study?
I'm like, oh, he's not tellingme to step down from that.
Like there's no message on that.
One Long story short.
Between you know, a trip, aquick trip to visit my
mother-in-law in California atthe first weekend in July and
finding out how poor her healthwas, I knew there was a
(09:16):
possibility that I would have to.
Because I work remote, I cantake my job with me to go out
there when she passes, whichwould probably be sooner than
later, to work on clearing outthe house.
We figured the last time wewould see her would be the visit
over July 4th.
Well, my plans and what I hadfigured out were not what
(09:43):
happened or not what happened.
She got really sick and reallybad at the end of July and was
at the point where she eitherhad to be put into a facility or
someone had to be there to takecare of her 24-7.
And we found that out Mondayafternoon.
And the biggest challenge isshe doesn't like animals, she
(10:07):
doesn't want to have anything todo with animals and knowing if
I was going to go do that itwould be an indefinite amount of
time.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
So you were considering going there and
being the caregiver that which.
I happen to know from otherparts of your story was not an
easy yes.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
No, it was very, very hard.
The first time I met her was myhusband was here in Texas with
the military and met him atchurch and we set our wedding
date.
But then we're like, gotimpatient and got married and
then had our wedding.
(10:46):
Well, the first time that I mether in person was our wedding.
She comes into my house andreorganizes my kitchen because I
had done it wrong.
I didn't take that very well.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I don't know many ladies who would.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I don't know many ladies who would, and so God
worked on me through 27 years ofmarriage and relationship with
her to that call that.
We got at the end of July on aMonday midday, and I called her
(11:24):
Tuesday morning and I'm like OK,you're where.
You got two choices you go intoa facility and you've told us
flat out you don't want to be ina facility, or I come out and I
bring my dog with me and hestays in the house in the room
with me.
He's an 82 pound Germanshepherd, not a little fluff
ball that you can miss, and he'sloud.
(11:46):
He's pretty darn well behaved,but he's not one of those.
Hey, I love people, dogs.
He's one of those.
This is my person.
You stay away.
Dogs Not mean, won't attackanyone, but-.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, protective yeah .
Speaker 2 (12:01):
And so I called her Tuesday morning.
I'm like okay, you got twochoices you go in the facility
or I come out with my dog.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And she is not a dog person.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
No, especially a big dog person.
That is just a no-go and not anindoor dog.
He's an indoor dog and I hadspent Tuesday morning because
she's in California.
I had half a morning before Icould talk to her praying God
make this easy, basically sayingGod make it so I don't have any
(12:37):
questions.
Make the answer clear eitherway yes or way no, like don't
leave room for questions.
So I call her and I said yougot two choices facility, or I
come with my dog.
She goes.
Is he as big as a house?
No no, he's not as big as ahouse.
(12:58):
And she said well, I don't knowwhat the HOA rules are, I can
find out.
Okay, I'm like.
Okay, I'm like wow.
You said okay, she didn't Godmade it easy.
(13:18):
And I called my husband becausewe had been having the
conversation the whole way,because this other than the
previous summer we had neverspent more than a week apart in
our entire 27 years of marriage.
And the previous summer wespent two weeks apart when I
went to visit her and take careof her for a small amount of
time.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
So leaving and this was like open-ended right.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Oh yeah, I'm going, don't know when I'm coming back,
don't know how do you pack.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
How do you pack for an indeterminate amount of time?
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, so how long did you end up staying?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I took care of her for the last seven weeks of her
life through hospice, throughall of that, because I worked
remote.
I took my work with me and Iworked my eight hours every day
while taking care of her and I'ma people person she is not.
She didn't really want to talk,she didn't want to communicate,
(14:18):
so I couldn't leave her alone.
Like the first couple of weeksI went to the grocery store, so
I left the house like once aweek and and then she got bad
enough I couldn't even do thatand just had to order and to
have delivered groceries and Ididn't leave the house and God
(14:40):
sustained me, not being able tobe around people.
I'm my church, I'm called thehugger.
I know how to give a hug andyou're going to feel it and it's
going to be a good hug, andthere are certain people that,
yeah, you don't get a 10 secondhug, I'm going to hold on and
give you that hug until I feelyou release, whatever it is.
(15:04):
That's holding on Because thereare certain people who need that
and I know, and other than twovisits from my husband my
daughter, our youngest daughter,came with him on one of them.
Other than that, I didn't havetouch for seven weeks.
She didn't want to.
Well, at the end I wasphysically cleaning her, but but
(15:26):
no touch.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And I know there are people who can do that and love
that, but that's not you, no,that's the opposite of what
God's called me to.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And he said obey.
And I said I went.
We made the decision Tuesdaymidday and I was on the road six
o'clock Friday morning.
I didn't have time to plan, Ididn't have time to think about
it.
He said go and I said okay,cool, oh crap.
Now I'm gone.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
This leads me to the question that I really want to
get to, maybe even at the heartof our conversation today,
because that story and the otherthings that you've shared
indicate to me that you are avery servant-hearted person.
Being a servant to others inthe name of Christ is a big deal
for you, and I want to followthat up with two sub-questions.
(16:25):
One is how do you sustain thatwhen, obviously, obviously in
this situation with yourmother-in-law, you weren't
necessarily like excited aboutit because of what it would mean
for you?
It meant a lot of sacrifice.
So how do you sustain that kindof servanthood in the midst of
feeling like, oh, this is, thisis going to be really hard, like
(16:46):
this is going to be really hard.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I don't like to focus on the hard part of it.
I like to focus on, more thananything I've learned through
things that have happenedthrough my life to obey him.
And if I obey, it may be a hardpath, but I was telling you
(17:11):
earlier about one time where heshowed me the verse that he has
given me over and over and over,which is Psalms 4610.
Be still and know that I'm God.
I don't like to be still, likeI like to be doing.
I like to be doing, I like tobe involved to help people and
(17:32):
being a people person.
Going and spending time withpeople fills me up very much.
Not an introvert, that drainsme.
Being alone drains me.
I need my people.
That drains me.
Being alone drains me.
I need my people.
And so going to do, whether itbe a little thing, you know,
(17:56):
spend a few minutes talking to aneighbor and cheering them up,
or something that recharges me.
That's how God has made me.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
And doing the opposite is so hard and he spent
so much time telling me to bestill.
Doing the opposite is so hardand he spent so much time
telling me to be still.
And the first time I rememberhim telling me be still, it was
a really clear message and I waslike okay, god.
He said step down from thisorganization that you're on the
(18:22):
board of.
Okay, I will as soon as I getdone with what I said I would do
, because I know what I shoulddo and that's complete that out,
because I hold my word and I dowhat I'm supposed to.
Yeah, but sometimes he has youchange that and I chose to.
Every time he kept telling mebe still, I'm like I will, I'll
(18:45):
stop, I will finish it and I'llstop.
And I kept stepping further andfurther out of what he had
called me to and I ended upgetting a concussion so bad that
I could barely function andbarely speak for three weeks
because I chose to step out fromhis umbrella of protection.
I went okay, here's yourprotection.
(19:06):
Cool, I'm going this way.
And it was such a simple thing.
Usually it would have been alittle bump on the head and fine
, but I was down for so longbecause I chose not to obey.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
And he shows me that's a hard lesson.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Uh-huh.
When you're stubborn, you getto learn them the hard way.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Well, which also leads me, then, into the second
question I wanted to ask because, you know, you strike me as a
person who's very willing toengage, very willing to meet
with people and to serve inwhatever way you can and obey.
And then we have this otherthing that I think we're also
called to, which is to you know,like I think what's at the
(19:46):
heart of the word you heard wasbe still and know that I'm God,
because self-care also matters,and sometimes people who are
very oriented around servicehave a hard time with boundaries
, and so I'm curious I'mguessing you've had to navigate
that question in your life.
How has that worked out for you?
How?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
has that worked out for you?
Saying no, saying no has beenhard, but through my
stubbornness and my stepping outand my disobeying when he says
do this, and I go yeah, but thisis good too, I'll say no, but
it's good.
Good doesn't always mean rightand I've learned that's a good
(20:30):
statement.
Say that again.
Good doesn't always mean right.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, so it's good.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
So it could be good, it could be a God thing, but if
it's not right, are you takingAre you taking a job or
responsibility a blessing fromsomeone else because you're
trying to get, whether it beglory seeking or just over
(21:00):
extending yourself?
Yeah, you won't say yes to whathe's telling you to do or to
not do.
You could be preventing otherpeople from receiving the
blessing he has for them fordoing it.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, and the reason I'm so resonating with this is
because this has been a lessonI've had to learn in a number of
ways in my life as well, and Ithink one of the lessons that's
come out of that for me is thatif I'm going to be effective in
the things I have been called todo, that means that those
callings need to remain apriority, because if I start
(21:37):
filling my life and schedule upwith other interesting good
things, then it's going tohinder my effectiveness in the
things that I know I'm called todo, and so I find that a lot of
times God keeps on bringing meback to say yes, I know that's
interesting to you, I know youthink that's very shiny and good
, but it's not like you said.
(22:00):
It's not necessarily the rightthing for you at this time.
There may be other times orit's not going to be the main
focus.
It may be a hobby or somethingof interest.
So that has been a real pointof attention from the Lord for
me too.
So I totally relate.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
The other thing that I've seen is when I step down
from youth, I've said God hastold me it's my time to stop and
he's told me not to.
And I stepped down the lastWednesday in June from youth and
told my girls that the J-Highgirls have always been my girls
(22:39):
and even as the girls get older,if they've gone through the
J-High part of our youth group,they're my kids.
Now the rest of them are aswell, but they're my small group
.
I're my kids, yeah, now therest of them are as well, but I
they're my small group.
I spend more time with them.
And the hardest thing is I'vehad a couple of the girls come
up to me multiple times.
Has God said you can come backyet?
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Yeah, but that's, that's what's opened up the door
to go be with your mom or yourmother-in-law, right?
Yes, when you said no there,that if it's at the end of June,
then beginning of July you're.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
And it was end of July.
I headed out there and throughJuly he's like step back Now,
step down from that, now stepdown from that.
And he stepping down.
I've led women's Bible study onTuesday nights at our church
longer or just shorter than whatI've worked with the youth.
I love that.
That is such.
(23:36):
I spend more time studying andI have to focus on a message to
be ready to share it with theladies.
And yes, it's the same messagethat all of our Bible studies do
at the same time and it givesthem the capability of going
back and forth.
But when he told me to step to,to make sure it wasn't so much,
he said step back from that.
(23:58):
He said, make sure there's somewhen you go out to clear the
house out, because that was theplan.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Right, that was my plan.
We're going to go just clearthe house out.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
And, and I said, okay , I need to have someone who can
cover for me for a couple ofweeks.
And God orchestrated that sobeautifully.
Because I called one morningand I was like, okay, here's
what I got going on, I need tofigure out.
And they're like, well, do wejust not have it?
(24:28):
I'm like, no, that's not theanswer.
Like I felt 100% confident Godwas not saying don't.
God was saying don't stopTuesday night.
Okay, like I'll be adamant onthat.
No, no.
Then who?
And we went through a list ofwomen that were normally in my
Tuesday night Bible study and no, no, no.
(24:49):
Yeah, they would.
I mean, yeah, they could do it,but I don't feel like that's
who it's supposed to be.
There's one lady who hadvisited one time and when, as
soon as I said her name, like Iwas like Priscilla, priscilla's
the one who's supposed to do it.
I don't even think it was fourhours from hanging up from that
(25:12):
conversation to being calledback and saying Priscilla's on
board.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
She'll co-lead with you or sub for you.
This is the third one thatshe's leading now, because God's
told me to be still and I toldher I'm like I'm so excited to
see what God's going to dothrough you, because she's very,
very artistic and does so muchpainting and such beautiful
(25:37):
things and she's artsy craftsyin a different way than I am and
so she leads very differentlythan me.
I love it because.
I get to see One I'm getting tojust these last two just be fed
instead of doing the work, whichis weird.
(25:57):
But to see how she does it isso refreshing.
And I get to see little tidbitsof how God is using her story
and the way that her personality, the way that she leads to
affect people in a way that Ican't.
I don't have that skill set,the skill set or experience that
(26:21):
she does to do it her way.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I can only do it my way and to see Beauty of the
body of Christ right.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yes, and to see, I'm just so excited to continue
watching that.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
And she's like has he told you he'd come back yet?
And I'm like to continuewatching that.
And she's like has he told youhe'd been back yet?
And I'm like, not yet, like Iwant to, I love it.
But he said wait, he said bestill, and that's hard.
But I've learned the hardlesson and I don't want to
repeat the stupid, stubbornmistakes and getting out from
(26:51):
his protection to suffer theconsequences.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, all right.
So let me shift gears a littlebit.
I want to talk to you aboutyour youth work.
Yes, so this is something thatI have had increasing interest
in, thanks to Preston, my techguy, who keeps telling me hey,
pete, you need to be thinkingabout this.
So what are some of the thingsthat you've learned about young
(27:15):
people in this day and age thatyou think we all need to be a
little bit more aware of?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Hear what the youth are saying.
There are youth out there whohave such a heart for God and
they have a differentperspective.
They haven't had all of theirrawness rubbed off by the
reality of the world and theysee things differently than we
(27:42):
do.
Hear what they have to say, youknow, don't just assume that
it's always right, Don't assumeit's always wrong.
But if they've got a suggestion, at minimum pray about it, God.
What are you saying?
As a leader.
Are you saying that we shouldgo this direction?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Out of the mouths of babes right.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Yes, there's amazing things.
And listening to the kids, thethings that they say and the
view that they have.
You know, I just I grew up inchurch.
Church has always been part ofit.
I'm one of those people where Ido the Bible in a year and I've
done it, I think, for more than10 years now.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Every year.
So I just I know that.
I've heard that verse.
I know that verse.
I hear it At minimum once ayear, a lot of them more than
that.
I've heard that verse, I knowthat verse.
I hear it At minimum once ayear, a lot of them, more than
that.
So when they look at me and go,what does that mean?
Oh, okay, so how do I downshiftfrom the knowledge and
(28:50):
information experience I have,the knowledge and information
experience I have, not tosimplify God's word, but to make
it in a way that they canunderstand.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Put it in their frame of reference.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah, and I look at for the longest time.
I was one of the oldest youthworkers, but the kids would
gravitate to me.
I'm going to set the rules, andI'm going to the rule is the
rule and we're not crossing thatline.
But I'll have fun with you andwe'll joke around and play.
But if you've got a question,you got a concern.
You want to be heard aboutsomething that's going on.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I'm there.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
And do you find yourself saying something
similar to the young people,Like was there a theme that you
kept coming back to as itrelates to the kids?
Over the 10-year period you led?
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Just spend time in your word with God and, you know
, encouraging them to find thetime to get with God, because
you can see, not only in youthbut adults, who spends their
time with God.
They're like well, how do youknow what God's saying?
Well, I'm reading my Bible, I'mpraying, I'm talking to God and
(30:03):
I sit, and I've learned to sitand listen and be still.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Still working on it.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's still a work in progress.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Which is probably a good thing to say to the kids,
right?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
it's like hey you're not going to get this
automatically yeah, and, and youknow watching the kids, you
know whether they're doing thefast like we do yearly with the.
You know I encourage people todo yearly with church.
Whether you know whether youfast, it doesn't have to be food
, but do a a fast.
And I fought that for thelongest time.
I'm like I can't do that.
(30:36):
I can't do that.
And then one day it was pointedout to me you're allergic to
dairy, you're allergic to gluten.
You fast those every day.
All year goes, every day, allyear.
(31:01):
Why can't you choose to fastsomething else on top of it?
In January, our youngestdaughter's 20, and church was
getting ready to do the fast andI've yet to be able to do it
the exact same time as churchdoes, but I choose to do it this
.
You know the same amount ofdays for the 21 days.
And I was like, okay, I'm just.
My daughter's an adult now.
(31:22):
She's back from college, shedid a year and she's like I'm
not for me.
I'm like, okay, and I was like,but I'm just, I'll just do the
fast on my own and I'll do whatI'm going to do.
She calls me one day.
She still lives at home, butshe was out doing something with
a friend and she calls me Mom.
What are we fasting this year?
Okay, definitely doing the fastthis year.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
When your daughter suggests yes.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
When a 20-year-old calls you and says what are we
fasting?
Okay, I'm like, well, we'vedone the Daniel fast.
She and I did it together.
We fasted social media.
One year We've fasted.
You know different things.
I'm like what do you want tofast?
I'm like we could fast aspecific food item, we could
(32:10):
fast.
Eating out, we could fast, andher friend was there with her.
And her friend is now coming tochurch when she does and
they're like let's do a sugarfast.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Okay.
So are we fasting all kinds ofsugar?
Are we fasting added sugar?
Are we fasting?
And I let her choose what wewere fasting and I will say
fasting sugar is hard.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
There is nothing without sugar.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I mean we chose no added sugars.
So you know there were a coupleof recipes that we did do that
had, like, honey in it, ormolasses and a natural sugar
opposed to refined sugar.
But everything has sugar in it.
(33:08):
Go buy all new salad dressings.
You can't have ketchup, youcan't have barbecue sauce, you
can't have ketchup, can't havebarbecue sauce you can't.
I know been doing that for a bitand so you know that fast was
more challenging.
But because she chose, shebrought it up.
(33:29):
She chose and she directed it.
I was okay, this is what we'redoing.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I think what you're illustrating too is that it's so
important not just to listen tothe youth as it relates to
their questions, but to taketheir suggestions seriously too.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Now your daughter is 21,.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So it's not exactly the same, but there's a way in
which taking their suggestionsinspires their spiritual growth.
You know, and it's not exactlythe same, but there's a way in
which taking their suggestionsinspires their spiritual growth.
And it's kind of like oh,you're going to take me
seriously, All right, well, I'min.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
It empowers them.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
And when you give them the not give them, when you
allow them to use the powerthat God has given them, it
strengthens them more thananything else Because, okay,
you're in charge of this one.
Which way are we going?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
So, talking about where are we going?
Do you have a sense of wherethe Lord's leading you over this
next season?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I have been saying God, can I have some type of
direction Like this way, thatway Be still.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Wait.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Good luck with that.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
And it's you know, I've been so involved with so
many things at church andthey're like okay, so what has
God told you right now?
Wait, okay.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Well, I will be in prayer with you about that, and
I just want to say thank you forjoining me today.
This has been such a funconversation.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
You're very welcome.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
And may God bless whatever that future holds for
you, and courage to be patient.
That is the challenge.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
But if God didn't challenge us?
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
We get bored yeah we get bored?
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yeah, all right.
Well, thank you for joining usfor another Sidewalk
Conversations and join us againnext week when we'll be back the
same time.
Bless you guys.
So how long was that?
How long did you live on thefarm?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
First 17 years of my life, no kidding.
Yes, all right.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
And so you did all the chores and had to get busy.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Up and feeding the animals before the half-mile
hike to the bus stop.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Uphill both ways right.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh no?
Well, yes, because it wasextremely hilly and there was
one higher hill.
When we rode our bicycles, itwas great riding it down towards
the bus stop, because then youcould just go over the next one,
but going home wasn't as easy.
So where'd you leave your bike?
We just leaned it up againstthe fence.
It was a dirt road down to themain road and nobody took it
(00:41):
back in the day.
No, the funnest part of my kids'favorite part of this is there
are times that I actually rodemy horse to the bus stop, left
it in a neighbor's pasture androde it home.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
All right, well, I think we'll get started.
Just say welcome to our guestsand our fans who have joined us
on another episode of SidewalkConversations.
I'm so glad that you have takensome time to spend this time
with us.
I'm excited about my guests.
But before I introduce Valerie,let me just say a thank you to
my sponsors.
Today.
I want to thank TenfoldCounseling out of Kansas City,
(01:32):
missouri.
They do such great work andthey actually have connections
around the country, so they doZoom counseling as well as
in-person counseling and ifyou'd like to get some help,
they would be people who youshould call.
And I just want to say thanksfor helping sponsor this episode
, along with my other sponsorswho are so regularly faithful
(01:53):
about giving and sharing, so soappreciative.
Today the guest is Valerie.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
And I thank you for being here.
You know it's kind ofinteresting.
I have to tell the story.
So I was doing a guest speakingat your church and we got into
a conversation afterwards and Iwas so fascinated by your story
I said hey, I know this may be abig ask People sometimes are a
little reluctant but would yoube willing to be on my podcast?
(02:21):
And you did not hesitate, yousaid yes right away and I think
you said something like you know, the Lord's just been laying on
my heart that whenever I'mgiven an opportunity to share my
story, I should say yes and soyou did.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
He has been telling me for years and years and years
that my story, my experiencesand the way that he has worked
through everything is somethingthat I'm supposed to share, and
I love it.
It is the easiest thing for meto do, whether it's a one-on-one
audience, whether it's talkingto a group of people.
It excites me to show what Godhas done.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Because there's no way that each step could be a
coincidence, there's no way thatit could be something that I
did and just being so close tohim I can see, yeah, this is his
hand in his direction andsometimes I wish it would get a
little bit of warning, but hedoesn't always do that.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well, thank you for saying yes, and I'm going to
begin at the beginning of yourstory.
Yes, so tell me a little bitabout where you grew up, how you
were raised.
Maybe some key influences?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
For the first 17 years of my life I spent living
with my biological family on asmall farm in Texas and raised
animals and spent a lot of timeoutside working with that.
Right about 17, I turned mybiological father in for abuse
and oh dang.
(03:49):
You know what God has used thatin amazing ways, but in doing
that, god had alreadyorchestrated.
From before I was born, acouple who was unable to have
children got married and theystarted coming back to church,
or started coming to church andcame to the church that I grew
(04:10):
up in, and just the path tomeeting them was amazing.
Not only that, but being ableto, I was supposed to stay with
them for the weekend.
It's been a really long weekend.
I actually asked them to adoptme after I got married and that
has been amazing.
(04:31):
It's given.
You know, for mom it was 15years from the time that she had
a hysterectomy right after theygot married until I came into
their life.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Wow, wow.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
And she never expected to have a child, much
less grandchildren, and you know, see them get married and all
of that, and it's been anamazing God.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
What a beautiful redemptive story.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Very much a God journey, yeah, wow.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Well, and my next question is kind of related to
that.
You know, part of what Ilearned when we were sharing
this story was that you've had anumber of different, what I'll
call challenge spikes in yourlife where things went a very
different direction than whatyou thought, and I just want to
see if you'd give me somehighlights about that and then
(05:27):
maybe exactly how God met you inthe midst of some of those
challenges.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
So the most recent one, I would say, was beginning
of June.
God told me and he had kind ofsaid, think about stepping down
from youth.
And I'd been working with theyouth at our church for more
than 10 years, maybe closer to12.
I'm not sure, but they're mykids, mine.
And I'm like he's like maybeit's time to step down.
(05:52):
And I'm like, are you sure, God?
And he's like, well, thinkabout it.
And I'm like, okay, you're nottelling me yet.
Okay, and 2020, we had a littlebit of break because of COVID
and all of that, and I was likeso refreshed, coming back and
excited to be with the youthagain.
And then the first Wednesday inJune, God says I'm on the way
(06:14):
to church for prayer and praiseservice and it's like step down
from youth.
Wait, what do you?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
none of these are my, my kids let me just call time
out real quick.
So when you say because I'mjust curious how this happens
for people when you say godspoke to you or told you
something, what does that feellike?
Like, is it as something thatyou kind of have as a voice
that's kind of louder than yourown voice and your own spirit,
(06:46):
how do you recognize that asquote unquote God's voice?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
It's not.
I didn't hear an audible voice,but it's just like I feel, like
it's so hard to describebecause I know that it's not me,
because that's 100% againstwhat.
I want to do I don't want toleave my kids.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
So it's a thought that just feels very compelling
yes and.
I know this from my ownexperiences with this.
It's like you get to a place inlife where you start to
recognize God's voice, thepassage you know the sheep
recognize the shepherd's voice,and it becomes like that, right?
So okay, finish the story.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And I was like, okay, and I'm sitting there and I'm
ruminating on it, but I'm notsaying anything to anyone else
and the entire service peoplecame up to pray and whatever
they prayed confirmed to me it'stime to step down the worship
songs and I don't remember whatthey were at this point, but it
(07:51):
was like step down.
So I'm like, okay, god, well,what am I supposed to do?
And you know, god, I feel likehe answers me in a way that I'm
not a quiet person and I have alittle bit of attitude and I
feel like he went obey and I'mlike I can't argue with that.
(08:15):
How do you argue with when Godsays just obey.
And so I did.
And I went to Jacqueline, ouryouth pastor, and I'm like
Jacqueline God's told me that Ineed to step down.
This month is my last monthworking with youth and there
were a lot of things.
It wasn't the most convenienttime, but you know, one of the
(08:36):
other youth leaders is like isthis because there's hurt or
rejection or something you'reupset about?
And I'm like, no, I reallydon't want to, but I want to
obey.
That's what he's called me todo is to obey and to follow what
he's saying.
So when I talked to Jacqueline,she's like, okay, well, you
(08:56):
lead Bible study.
What about Bible study?
I'm like, oh, he's not tellingme to step down from that.
Like there's no message on that.
One Long story short.
Between you know, a trip, aquick trip to visit my
mother-in-law in California atthe first weekend in July and
finding out how poor her healthwas, I knew there was a
(09:16):
possibility that I would have to.
Because I work remote, I cantake my job with me to go out
there when she passes, whichwould probably be sooner than
later, to work on clearing outthe house.
We figured the last time wewould see her would be the visit
over July 4th.
Well, my plans and what I hadfigured out were not what
(09:43):
happened or not what happened.
She got really sick and reallybad at the end of July and was
at the point where she eitherhad to be put into a facility or
someone had to be there to takecare of her 24-7.
And we found that out Mondayafternoon.
And the biggest challenge isshe doesn't like animals, she
(10:07):
doesn't want to have anything todo with animals and knowing if
I was going to go do that itwould be an indefinite amount of
time.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
So you were considering going there and
being the caregiver that which.
I happen to know from otherparts of your story was not an
easy yes.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
No, it was very, very hard.
The first time I met her was myhusband was here in Texas with
the military and met him atchurch and we set our wedding
date.
But then we're like, gotimpatient and got married and
then had our wedding.
(10:46):
Well, the first time that I mether in person was our wedding.
She comes into my house andreorganizes my kitchen because I
had done it wrong.
I didn't take that very well.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I don't know many ladies who would.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I don't know many ladies who would, and so God
worked on me through 27 years ofmarriage and relationship with
her to that call that.
We got at the end of July on aMonday midday, and I called her
(11:24):
Tuesday morning and I'm like OK,you're where.
You got two choices you go intoa facility and you've told us
flat out you don't want to be ina facility, or I come out and I
bring my dog with me and hestays in the house in the room
with me.
He's an 82 pound Germanshepherd, not a little fluff
ball that you can miss, and he'sloud.
(11:46):
He's pretty darn well behaved,but he's not one of those.
Hey, I love people, dogs.
He's one of those.
This is my person.
You stay away.
Dogs Not mean, won't attackanyone, but-.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, protective yeah .
Speaker 2 (12:01):
And so I called her Tuesday morning.
I'm like okay, you got twochoices you go in the facility
or I come out with my dog.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And she is not a dog person.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
No, especially a big dog person.
That is just a no-go and not anindoor dog.
He's an indoor dog and I hadspent Tuesday morning because
she's in California.
I had half a morning before Icould talk to her praying God
make this easy, basically sayingGod make it so I don't have any
(12:37):
questions.
Make the answer clear eitherway yes or way no, like don't
leave room for questions.
So I call her and I said yougot two choices facility, or I
come with my dog.
She goes.
Is he as big as a house?
No no, he's not as big as ahouse.
(12:58):
And she said well, I don't knowwhat the HOA rules are, I can
find out.
Okay, I'm like.
Okay, I'm like wow.
You said okay, she didn't Godmade it easy.
(13:18):
And I called my husband becausewe had been having the
conversation the whole way,because this other than the
previous summer we had neverspent more than a week apart in
our entire 27 years of marriage.
And the previous summer wespent two weeks apart when I
went to visit her and take careof her for a small amount of
time.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
So leaving and this was like open-ended right.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Oh yeah, I'm going, don't know when I'm coming back,
don't know how do you pack.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
How do you pack for an indeterminate amount of time?
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, so how long did you end up staying?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I took care of her for the last seven weeks of her
life through hospice, throughall of that, because I worked
remote.
I took my work with me and Iworked my eight hours every day
while taking care of her and I'ma people person she is not.
She didn't really want to talk,she didn't want to communicate,
(14:18):
so I couldn't leave her alone.
Like the first couple of weeksI went to the grocery store, so
I left the house like once aweek and and then she got bad
enough I couldn't even do thatand just had to order and to
have delivered groceries and Ididn't leave the house and God
(14:40):
sustained me, not being able tobe around people.
I'm my church, I'm called thehugger.
I know how to give a hug andyou're going to feel it and it's
going to be a good hug, andthere are certain people that,
yeah, you don't get a 10 secondhug, I'm going to hold on and
give you that hug until I feelyou release, whatever it is.
(15:04):
That's holding on Because thereare certain people who need that
and I know, and other than twovisits from my husband my
daughter, our youngest daughter,came with him on one of them.
Other than that, I didn't havetouch for seven weeks.
She didn't want to.
Well, at the end I wasphysically cleaning her, but but
(15:26):
no touch.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And I know there are people who can do that and love
that, but that's not you, no,that's the opposite of what
God's called me to.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And he said obey.
And I said I went.
We made the decision Tuesdaymidday and I was on the road six
o'clock Friday morning.
I didn't have time to plan, Ididn't have time to think about
it.
He said go and I said okay,cool, oh crap.
Now I'm gone.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
This leads me to the question that I really want to
get to, maybe even at the heartof our conversation today,
because that story and the otherthings that you've shared
indicate to me that you are avery servant-hearted person.
Being a servant to others inthe name of Christ is a big deal
for you, and I want to followthat up with two sub-questions.
(16:25):
One is how do you sustain thatwhen, obviously, obviously in
this situation with yourmother-in-law, you weren't
necessarily like excited aboutit because of what it would mean
for you?
It meant a lot of sacrifice.
So how do you sustain that kindof servanthood in the midst of
feeling like, oh, this is, thisis going to be really hard, like
(16:46):
this is going to be really hard.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I don't like to focus on the hard part of it.
I like to focus on, more thananything I've learned through
things that have happenedthrough my life to obey him.
And if I obey, it may be a hardpath, but I was telling you
(17:11):
earlier about one time where heshowed me the verse that he has
given me over and over and over,which is Psalms 4610.
Be still and know that I'm God.
I don't like to be still, likeI like to be doing.
I like to be doing, I like tobe involved to help people and
(17:32):
being a people person.
Going and spending time withpeople fills me up very much.
Not an introvert, that drainsme.
Being alone drains me.
I need my people.
That drains me.
Being alone drains me.
I need my people.
And so going to do, whether itbe a little thing, you know,
(17:56):
spend a few minutes talking to aneighbor and cheering them up,
or something that recharges me.
That's how God has made me.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
And doing the opposite is so hard and he spent
so much time telling me to bestill.
Doing the opposite is so hardand he spent so much time
telling me to be still.
And the first time I rememberhim telling me be still, it was
a really clear message and I waslike okay, god.
He said step down from thisorganization that you're on the
(18:22):
board of.
Okay, I will as soon as I getdone with what I said I would do
, because I know what I shoulddo and that's complete that out,
because I hold my word and I dowhat I'm supposed to.
Yeah, but sometimes he has youchange that and I chose to.
Every time he kept telling mebe still, I'm like I will, I'll
(18:45):
stop, I will finish it and I'llstop.
And I kept stepping further andfurther out of what he had
called me to and I ended upgetting a concussion so bad that
I could barely function andbarely speak for three weeks
because I chose to step out fromhis umbrella of protection.
I went okay, here's yourprotection.
(19:06):
Cool, I'm going this way.
And it was such a simple thing.
Usually it would have been alittle bump on the head and fine
, but I was down for so longbecause I chose not to obey.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
And he shows me that's a hard lesson.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Uh-huh.
When you're stubborn, you getto learn them the hard way.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Well, which also leads me, then, into the second
question I wanted to ask because, you know, you strike me as a
person who's very willing toengage, very willing to meet
with people and to serve inwhatever way you can and obey.
And then we have this otherthing that I think we're also
called to, which is to you know,like I think what's at the
(19:46):
heart of the word you heard wasbe still and know that I'm God,
because self-care also matters,and sometimes people who are
very oriented around servicehave a hard time with boundaries
, and so I'm curious I'mguessing you've had to navigate
that question in your life.
How has that worked out for you?
How?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
has that worked out for you?
Saying no, saying no has beenhard, but through my
stubbornness and my stepping outand my disobeying when he says
do this, and I go yeah, but thisis good too, I'll say no, but
it's good.
Good doesn't always mean rightand I've learned that's a good
(20:30):
statement.
Say that again.
Good doesn't always mean right.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, so it's good.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
So it could be good, it could be a God thing, but if
it's not right, are you takingAre you taking a job or
responsibility a blessing fromsomeone else because you're
trying to get, whether it beglory seeking or just over
(21:00):
extending yourself?
Yeah, you won't say yes to whathe's telling you to do or to
not do.
You could be preventing otherpeople from receiving the
blessing he has for them fordoing it.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, and the reason I'm so resonating with this is
because this has been a lessonI've had to learn in a number of
ways in my life as well, and Ithink one of the lessons that's
come out of that for me is thatif I'm going to be effective in
the things I have been called todo, that means that those
callings need to remain apriority, because if I start
(21:37):
filling my life and schedule upwith other interesting good
things, then it's going tohinder my effectiveness in the
things that I know I'm called todo, and so I find that a lot of
times God keeps on bringing meback to say yes, I know that's
interesting to you, I know youthink that's very shiny and good
, but it's not like you said.
(22:00):
It's not necessarily the rightthing for you at this time.
There may be other times orit's not going to be the main
focus.
It may be a hobby or somethingof interest.
So that has been a real pointof attention from the Lord for
me too.
So I totally relate.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
The other thing that I've seen is when I step down
from youth, I've said God hastold me it's my time to stop and
he's told me not to.
And I stepped down the lastWednesday in June from youth and
told my girls that the J-Highgirls have always been my girls
(22:39):
and even as the girls get older,if they've gone through the
J-High part of our youth group,they're my kids.
Now the rest of them are aswell, but they're my small group
.
I're my kids, yeah, now therest of them are as well, but I
they're my small group.
I spend more time with them.
And the hardest thing is I'vehad a couple of the girls come
up to me multiple times.
Has God said you can come backyet?
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Yeah, but that's, that's what's opened up the door
to go be with your mom or yourmother-in-law, right?
Yes, when you said no there,that if it's at the end of June,
then beginning of July you're.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
And it was end of July.
I headed out there and throughJuly he's like step back Now,
step down from that, now stepdown from that.
And he stepping down.
I've led women's Bible study onTuesday nights at our church
longer or just shorter than whatI've worked with the youth.
I love that.
That is such.
(23:36):
I spend more time studying andI have to focus on a message to
be ready to share it with theladies.
And yes, it's the same messagethat all of our Bible studies do
at the same time and it givesthem the capability of going
back and forth.
But when he told me to step to,to make sure it wasn't so much,
he said step back from that.
(23:58):
He said, make sure there's somewhen you go out to clear the
house out, because that was theplan.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Right, that was my plan.
We're going to go just clearthe house out.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
And, and I said, okay , I need to have someone who can
cover for me for a couple ofweeks.
And God orchestrated that sobeautifully.
Because I called one morningand I was like, okay, here's
what I got going on, I need tofigure out.
And they're like, well, do wejust not have it?
(24:28):
I'm like, no, that's not theanswer.
Like I felt 100% confident Godwas not saying don't.
God was saying don't stopTuesday night.
Okay, like I'll be adamant onthat.
No, no.
Then who?
And we went through a list ofwomen that were normally in my
Tuesday night Bible study and no, no, no.
(24:49):
Yeah, they would.
I mean, yeah, they could do it,but I don't feel like that's
who it's supposed to be.
There's one lady who hadvisited one time and when, as
soon as I said her name, like Iwas like Priscilla, priscilla's
the one who's supposed to do it.
I don't even think it was fourhours from hanging up from that
(25:12):
conversation to being calledback and saying Priscilla's on
board.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
She'll co-lead with you or sub for you.
This is the third one thatshe's leading now, because God's
told me to be still and I toldher I'm like I'm so excited to
see what God's going to dothrough you, because she's very,
very artistic and does so muchpainting and such beautiful
(25:37):
things and she's artsy craftsyin a different way than I am and
so she leads very differentlythan me.
I love it because.
I get to see One I'm getting tojust these last two just be fed
instead of doing the work, whichis weird.
(25:57):
But to see how she does it isso refreshing.
And I get to see little tidbitsof how God is using her story
and the way that her personality, the way that she leads to
affect people in a way that Ican't.
I don't have that skill set,the skill set or experience that
(26:21):
she does to do it her way.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I can only do it my way and to see Beauty of the
body of Christ right.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yes, and to see, I'm just so excited to continue
watching that.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
And she's like has he told you he'd come back yet?
And I'm like to continuewatching that.
And she's like has he told youhe'd been back yet?
And I'm like, not yet, like Iwant to, I love it.
But he said wait, he said bestill, and that's hard.
But I've learned the hardlesson and I don't want to
repeat the stupid, stubbornmistakes and getting out from
(26:51):
his protection to suffer theconsequences.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, all right.
So let me shift gears a littlebit.
I want to talk to you aboutyour youth work.
Yes, so this is something thatI have had increasing interest
in, thanks to Preston, my techguy, who keeps telling me hey,
pete, you need to be thinkingabout this.
So what are some of the thingsthat you've learned about young
(27:15):
people in this day and age thatyou think we all need to be a
little bit more aware of?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Hear what the youth are saying.
There are youth out there whohave such a heart for God and
they have a differentperspective.
They haven't had all of theirrawness rubbed off by the
reality of the world and theysee things differently than we
(27:42):
do.
Hear what they have to say, youknow, don't just assume that
it's always right, Don't assumeit's always wrong.
But if they've got a suggestion, at minimum pray about it, God.
What are you saying?
As a leader.
Are you saying that we shouldgo this direction?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Out of the mouths of babes right.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Yes, there's amazing things.
And listening to the kids, thethings that they say and the
view that they have.
You know, I just I grew up inchurch.
Church has always been part ofit.
I'm one of those people where Ido the Bible in a year and I've
done it, I think, for more than10 years now.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Every year.
So I just I know that.
I've heard that verse.
I know that verse.
I hear it At minimum once ayear, a lot of them more than
that.
I've heard that verse, I knowthat verse.
I hear it At minimum once ayear, a lot of them, more than
that.
So when they look at me and go,what does that mean?
Oh, okay, so how do I downshiftfrom the knowledge and
(28:50):
information experience I have,the knowledge and information
experience I have, not tosimplify God's word, but to make
it in a way that they canunderstand.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Put it in their frame of reference.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah, and I look at for the longest time.
I was one of the oldest youthworkers, but the kids would
gravitate to me.
I'm going to set the rules, andI'm going to the rule is the
rule and we're not crossing thatline.
But I'll have fun with you andwe'll joke around and play.
But if you've got a question,you got a concern.
You want to be heard aboutsomething that's going on.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I'm there.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
And do you find yourself saying something
similar to the young people,Like was there a theme that you
kept coming back to as itrelates to the kids?
Over the 10-year period you led?
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Just spend time in your word with God and, you know
, encouraging them to find thetime to get with God, because
you can see, not only in youthbut adults, who spends their
time with God.
They're like well, how do youknow what God's saying?
Well, I'm reading my Bible, I'mpraying, I'm talking to God and
(30:03):
I sit, and I've learned to sitand listen and be still.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Still working on it.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's still a work in progress.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Which is probably a good thing to say to the kids,
right?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
it's like hey you're not going to get this
automatically yeah, and, and youknow watching the kids, you
know whether they're doing thefast like we do yearly with the.
You know I encourage people todo yearly with church.
Whether you know whether youfast, it doesn't have to be food
, but do a a fast.
And I fought that for thelongest time.
I'm like I can't do that.
(30:36):
I can't do that.
And then one day it was pointedout to me you're allergic to
dairy, you're allergic to gluten.
You fast those every day.
All year goes, every day, allyear.
(31:01):
Why can't you choose to fastsomething else on top of it?
In January, our youngestdaughter's 20, and church was
getting ready to do the fast andI've yet to be able to do it
the exact same time as churchdoes, but I choose to do it this
.
You know the same amount ofdays for the 21 days.
And I was like, okay, I'm just.
My daughter's an adult now.
(31:22):
She's back from college, shedid a year and she's like I'm
not for me.
I'm like, okay, and I was like,but I'm just, I'll just do the
fast on my own and I'll do whatI'm going to do.
She calls me one day.
She still lives at home, butshe was out doing something with
a friend and she calls me Mom.
What are we fasting this year?
Okay, definitely doing the fastthis year.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
When your daughter suggests yes.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
When a 20-year-old calls you and says what are we
fasting?
Okay, I'm like, well, we'vedone the Daniel fast.
She and I did it together.
We fasted social media.
One year We've fasted.
You know different things.
I'm like what do you want tofast?
I'm like we could fast aspecific food item, we could
(32:10):
fast.
Eating out, we could fast, andher friend was there with her.
And her friend is now coming tochurch when she does and
they're like let's do a sugarfast.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Okay.
So are we fasting all kinds ofsugar?
Are we fasting added sugar?
Are we fasting?
And I let her choose what wewere fasting and I will say
fasting sugar is hard.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
There is nothing without sugar.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I mean we chose no added sugars.
So you know there were a coupleof recipes that we did do that
had, like, honey in it, ormolasses and a natural sugar
opposed to refined sugar.
But everything has sugar in it.
(33:08):
Go buy all new salad dressings.
You can't have ketchup, youcan't have barbecue sauce, you
can't have ketchup, can't havebarbecue sauce you can't.
I know been doing that for a bitand so you know that fast was
more challenging.
But because she chose, shebrought it up.
(33:29):
She chose and she directed it.
I was okay, this is what we'redoing.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I think what you're illustrating too is that it's so
important not just to listen tothe youth as it relates to
their questions, but to taketheir suggestions seriously too.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Now your daughter is 21,.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So it's not exactly the same, but there's a way in
which taking their suggestionsinspires their spiritual growth.
You know, and it's not exactlythe same, but there's a way in
which taking their suggestionsinspires their spiritual growth.
And it's kind of like oh,you're going to take me
seriously, All right, well, I'min.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
It empowers them.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
And when you give them the not give them, when you
allow them to use the powerthat God has given them, it
strengthens them more thananything else Because, okay,
you're in charge of this one.
Which way are we going?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
So, talking about where are we going?
Do you have a sense of wherethe Lord's leading you over this
next season?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I have been saying God, can I have some type of
direction Like this way, thatway Be still.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Wait.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Good luck with that.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
And it's you know, I've been so involved with so
many things at church andthey're like okay, so what has
God told you right now?
Wait, okay.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Well, I will be in prayer with you about that, and
I just want to say thank you forjoining me today.
This has been such a funconversation.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
You're very welcome.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
And may God bless whatever that future holds for
you, and courage to be patient.
That is the challenge.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
But if God didn't challenge us?
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
We get bored yeah we get bored?
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yeah, all right.
Well, thank you for joining usfor another Sidewalk
Conversations and join us againnext week when we'll be back the
same time.
Bless you guys.
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